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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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- What's that?
- My high school yearbook.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,159
Hey, do you remember a
girl named Jamie Eckelberry?
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,992
- No.
- Yeah, sure you do.
4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,276
She used to hang out
at the house all the time.
5
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,557
Oh, yeah. Eckelberry Hound.
6
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Not a name she was fond of.
7
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:23,511
Hey, I didn't make it up.
I just spread it around. What about her?
8
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,752
Oh, she called the alumni association
and tracked me down.
9
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,629
How does that work? They let her
sniff one of your sweaters?
10
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,389
She e-mailed me. She's in town
on business, and I invited her over.
11
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,559
Great. I'll get out of your way.
Just keep her off the good rug.
12
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,150
Very funny. No. For your
information, it's not a date.
13
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,232
She's just a friend who has become
very successful in her field.
14
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,433
Oh, that's nice that she
has a field to run around in.
15
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,189
- It's getting old, Charlie.
- In people years or dog years?
16
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,238
Sorry. Oh, look.
You remember Miss Hanrahan?
17
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,513
- Sure. I had her for sophomore English.
- I had her in the teachers' lounge.
18
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,549
Oh, that's Jamie. Be nice.
19
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,672
I'm always nice. Ask Miss Hanrahan.
20
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,030
- I'm serious.
- Relax. I'm just gonna say hello...
21
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,760
...scratch her behind the ear,
and then I'm out of here.
22
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,437
- You done with the dog jokes?
- Yes.
23
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,677
- Good.
- I hope she looks fetching.
24
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,797
Okay, I guess I had one more.
25
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,756
- Alan.
- Jamie.
26
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,678
Do you remember how Stuart Negelman
used to tell everybody you were gay?
27
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,075
Don't remind me.
I had one Boy George album...
28
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,073
...and suddenly
I'm queen of the fairies.
29
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,669
You'll be happy to know
I ran into him in New York.
30
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,037
- And? Knew it.
- Gay.
31
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,476
Okay, here we go.
32
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:21,349
Two margaritas,
and a rum and Diet Coke.
33
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,590
- Thank you, Charlie.
- You're welcome.
34
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,516
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
35
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:34,311
So Stuart Negelman: Buttoned-down,
or singing show tunes on a float?
36
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,114
Very macho. Owns a gym in SoHo.
37
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,794
Speaking of which, you look
like you're in good shape.
38
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,635
- I have kept up with the hacky sack.
- Good for you.
39
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,951
And you. I cannot get over what
a beautiful woman you've become.
40
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,631
- Oh, stop it. You're embarrassing me.
- Too bad. It's true.
41
00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,672
Charlie, that's lovely. You still play.
42
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,552
Just professionally.
43
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,519
- You became a musician?
- More a composer. Gotta pay the bills.
44
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,157
Play the jingle you wrote for the
feminine deodorant commercial.
45
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,597
Okay.
46
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,949
Fresh as a summer breezeClean as a mountain spring
47
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,517
No. You wrote that? I love that.
48
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,920
Hey, hey, did I tell you
that I was voted...
49
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,277
...Chiropractor of the Year by the San
Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association?
50
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,199
Oh, that's fantastic, Alan.
You must be very proud.
51
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:38,315
Well, it's not pride so much as the
satisfaction I get from helping people.
52
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,870
Carefree, so carefree
53
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,629
What every woman wants to be
54
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,879
Hey. Hey, you know
what would be fun?
55
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,112
A session of Dungeons & Dragons.
Like the old days, you know?
56
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:59,239
- Just the two of us.
- Wow, I haven't played in years.
57
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,715
Or we can go down to the beach
and go for a swim.
58
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,798
- I didn't bring a suit.
- So my plan is working.
59
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,155
You know, I think I'll take a rain check.
Do you mind if I use your restroom?
60
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,839
Down the hall on the right.
61
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,638
Thank you.
62
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,396
Don't you have enough women?
63
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,634
No. Anyway, you said she
was just an old friend.
64
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,398
Well, that was before I saw her.
65
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,994
Come on, I spent years
laying the groundwork for this.
66
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,112
And yet you never erected
anything on the site.
67
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,197
Because she didn't look like that then.
68
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,197
Oh, shame on you, Alan Harper.
69
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,237
Don't you know a woman is so much
more than what's on the outside?
70
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,318
She's a mountain spring,
a summer breeze and I saw her first.
71
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,432
What are you, 11?
72
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,474
Come on. She's smart, she's beautiful,
she's the kind of woman who...
73
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,875
- You could never get?
- Exactly.
74
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,830
Well, if she's that important to you.
75
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,871
She is, she is. Very much.
76
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,156
- Okay, fine. I'm out of it.
- Really?
77
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,839
Happy birthday.
78
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,754
Isn't that presumptuous? You think you
can just give this woman as a gift?
79
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,878
- Okay, forget it.
- No, no. Happy birthday to me.
80
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:14,317
Listen, I have an early meeting in the
morning, so I should probably get going.
81
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,115
Oh, no, no. The night is so young,
and Charlie was just leaving.
82
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,158
Yeah, if I don't start drinking now,
I'll be up all night.
83
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,798
I really have to get going.
What about dinner tomorrow night?
84
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,117
- That would be great.
- Okay, terrific.
85
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,236
Why don't the three of us
meet at 7?
86
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,471
The... The three of us?
87
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,274
Oh, gee. Tomorrow night? I can't.
88
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:39,268
Oh, come on, Charlie.
I'm only in town for a few days.
89
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,477
It wouldn't be the same
without you. Right, Alan?
90
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,235
That's... That's true.
It would be different. But still good.
91
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,113
No, no, no. You guys have
a lot of catching up to do.
92
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,118
I insist. Charlie, you have to come.
93
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,475
Well, if it's okay with Alan...
94
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,750
Of course.
95
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,794
Okay, great. Then I will
see you both tomorrow.
96
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,313
- Okay.
- Thank you.
97
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,789
- Can't wait.
- I know. Me too. Good night.
98
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,393
Bye.
99
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,236
So I'll get you something else
for your birthday.
100
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,158
You like hookers?
101
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,876
Charlie, we agreed you're out.
Now stay out.
102
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,389
- All right, fine. I won't go.
- Thank you.
103
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,551
Wait! If you don't come,
she'll think I told you not to come.
104
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,034
There is that possibility.
105
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,920
That's your plan. To make me
look petty and insecure.
106
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,429
Alan, I don't have to plan for that.
107
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,514
Let me tell you something. You're coming
with us, whether you like it or not.
108
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,877
All right.
109
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,750
Wait!
110
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,835
- We should take your new Mercedes.
- Fine.
111
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,759
- I should drive it so she thinks it's mine.
- Okay.
112
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,671
Wait!
113
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,189
She'll never believe
I drive a Mercedes.
114
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,992
You'll drive my old Volvo
so that she thinks it's yours.
115
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,751
Whatever. That just means you'll
be sitting in the backseat alone.
116
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,912
Wait!
117
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,278
Charlie, I can't believe that after
all these years, you're still single.
118
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:14,959
Well...
119
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,592
It's not that hard to believe.
120
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,833
I'm a selfish, promiscuous,
commitment-phobic man.
121
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,596
Alan, on the other hand, is a very
generous, loyal, one-woman kind of guy.
122
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,713
Guilty.
123
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,034
Why doesn't that surprise me?
124
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,679
Now, what is surprising...
125
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,913
...is to hear a man be so honest
and forthcoming about his flaws.
126
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:47,512
Charlie, you are
a real breath of fresh air.
127
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,551
Guilty.
128
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:57,116
But if you really want a breath
of fresh air, take a lungful of Alan.
129
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,797
He is a true gentleman.
130
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,718
Oh, Alan's always been a gentleman.
131
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,475
I remember one time we were kids. We
were in my bedroom playing Stratego...
132
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,269
...and my blouse came unbuttoned,
and Alan, instead of sneaking a peek...
133
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:17,276
...like a lot of guys would do, averted
his eyes and said, "Jamie, bosom."
134
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,916
Really. Is that true, Alan?
135
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,749
Pretty much. We were
playing Boggle, not Stratego.
136
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,555
Well, there you go.
A gentleman. A better man than I.
137
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,515
Oh, don't put yourself down, Charlie.
You seem like a wonderful man to me.
138
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,794
Yeah, but you heard him. I'm better.
139
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,996
Excuse me.
140
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,959
I'll be right back.
I think he wants to talk.
141
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,674
You know, you are such
a good brother.
142
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,677
You have no idea.
143
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,477
"Bosom"?
144
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,791
Forget that.
What the hell are you doing?
145
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,396
What? I'm trying to make you look
good. Turns out it's not that easy.
146
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,269
You look like you're trying
to make me look good...
147
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,078
...but you're making you look good.
148
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,708
I don't know how,
but that's the net result.
149
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,235
- Alan, you're being ridiculous.
- Am I? I think not.
150
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,960
From the minute we walked in,
you've been sabotaging me.
151
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,357
- How?
- How? Look at where I'm sitting.
152
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,438
- What? You wanted to sit next to her.
- Yeah, and you let me.
153
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,198
And now you get to stare into her eyes,
and I get to stare into her ear.
154
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,070
What do you want from me?
Wanna change seats?
155
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,838
Sure. That won't look suspicious.
156
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,993
I'm just trying to help, Alan.
Well, how about that? I do have to pee.
157
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,918
You wanna help me?
Stop talking me up.
158
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,195
- It's killing me.
- Okay.
159
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,829
Stop putting yourself down.
That's killing me too.
160
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,679
- Got it.
- Just sit there and eat your dinner...
161
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,114
...and I'll play your game.
162
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,679
Fine.
163
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,637
You wanna shake on it?
164
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,311
You're disgusting.
165
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,636
Yeah, I'm disgusting.
166
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,678
At least I'm not the one
taking a squirt on my shoe.
167
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,231
Let me tell you something
about my brother.
168
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,949
He puts himself down,
but he is truly a wonderful man.
169
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:19,955
I mean, here's a guy,
single, good-Iooking, talented...
170
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,192
- Well, l...
- You're too modest.
171
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,233
Talented, a ton of money.
172
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,870
And what does he do when his brother
and nephew need a place to live?
173
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,919
Does he complain about us
cramping his style? No.
174
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,675
He opens up his home, and his heart.
175
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,434
And frankly, I don't know
which one is bigger.
176
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,435
You are an incredible human being.
177
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,469
Can we get the damn check, please?
178
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,278
Wait till you meet Jake.
He's a great kid.
179
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,271
You're gonna love him. Right, Charlie?
180
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,109
Don't oversell him, Alan.
He mostly sits around and eats.
181
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,032
What do you guys like to do together?
182
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:09,313
Oh, we do all kinds
of father-son things.
183
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:14,270
- We go to the movies...
- Where he sits and eats.
184
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,750
And we also build models...
185
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,870
You know, airplanes, and
fly them off the deck.
186
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,833
- That sounds like fun.
- Oh, it is. Jake loves it.
187
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,877
I mean, he is a great kid.
188
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,310
I can't wait to meet him.
189
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,471
How about tomorrow afternoon?
190
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,154
- Tomorrow sounds great.
- Good, good. It's a date.
191
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,914
- So don't be late.
- Or we'll have to wait.
192
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,311
Oh, okay. Here we are.
193
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:47,234
Thank you so much.
I had a wonderful time.
194
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,156
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night.
195
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,031
Good night, Charlie.
196
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,359
Good night.
197
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,830
To the Batcave, Alfred.
198
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,753
Go to hell.
199
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,832
I was just sitting here.
I didn't put her tongue in my mouth.
200
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,513
You got tongue?
201
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,314
Actually, looking back,
it was probably mine.
202
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,076
Oh, relax. I'm just screwing with you.
203
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,071
Besides, you're the one
who got the date.
204
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,834
You had to pimp your kid
out to do it, but you got there.
205
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,191
Hey, hey, there is nothing wrong
with bragging on my son.
206
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,193
He's a reflection of me,
and if that compensates...
207
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,476
...for some of my social clumsiness...
208
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:39,274
And maybe rustles up a little tail.
209
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,998
I am not pimping him out.
210
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,958
Don't bark at me. I'm proud of you.
211
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,632
Thank you. And make yourself
scarce tomorrow.
212
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,349
- I don't need any more of your help.
- Fine. You're on your own.
213
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,239
Now, hush up and drive
Miss Daisy home.
214
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,873
Okay, Sky Captain. Ready to go?
215
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,393
I guess.
216
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,198
See how he loves this?
217
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,551
Pilot to copilot. Contact.
218
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,639
What?
219
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,911
- Contact.
- Why are you talking like that?
220
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,515
Just... Just start the engine.
221
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,635
Here we go. Ready for liftoff?
222
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,916
It's not a rocket ship, Dad.
223
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,469
I know that, Jake.
224
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,749
Hey, it actually works.
225
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,638
Bring it up. Bring it up.
226
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,870
- Okay.
- Come on, Jake, up, up. It's...
227
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,439
- Don't yell.
- Give me that.
228
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,272
- No, I'm doing it.
- Well, then do it.
229
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,152
I am.
230
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,837
Is that it?
231
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,951
No, go get it, and we'll patch
her back up, like we always do.
232
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,152
Can we just order
a pizza and watch TV?
233
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,873
Go get the plane.
234
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,878
This sucks.
235
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,272
"This sucks." Isn't he a hoot?
236
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,831
He's great.
237
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,750
So...
238
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,150
...here we are.
239
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,912
Yep.
240
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,114
I just cannot get over
how much you've changed.
241
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:19,997
- You like?
- Yeah, me like. I mean... I mean, I like.
242
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,439
So...
243
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,158
...where's Charlie?
244
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,238
This is all I could find.
245
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,070
- Guess who that is.
- No way.
246
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,596
- Way.
- What was going on with your hair?
247
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,472
It's called a Jeri curl.
248
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,279
It was my Michael Jackson period.
249
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,198
Who's the tall guy next to you?
250
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,396
Oh, that's me, Jake.
251
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,315
Oh, sorry.
252
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,516
Well, at least you look like a girl now.
253
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,758
Thank you.
254
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,912
Was Dad your boyfriend?
255
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,150
Oh, no, no.
Jamie and I were just friends.
256
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,954
Yeah, we were never that way.
257
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,196
Are you that way now?
258
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,556
- Why don't you go watch TV?
- Finally.
259
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,358
You know, Jamie, I've been thinking.
260
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,830
You're single. I'm single.
Well, we have an awful lot in common.
261
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,874
I mean, there's no reason
we couldn't try to be...
262
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,679
...you know, more than friends.
263
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,598
Is that something you'd want?
264
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,677
Well...
265
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,955
- Hey.
- Oh, darn.
266
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,834
- Sorry to intrude.
- That's okay. It's good to see you.
267
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,513
I thought you were gonna be busy.
268
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,871
I was. I went to a movie,
shot some pool...
269
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:47,431
...bought a book, bought a shirt, drank
a bucket of coffee, read the book.
270
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,440
And then it occurred to me:
"Hey, I have a home."
271
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,595
Hey, Dad, can you microwave
some popcorn for me?
272
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,709
- Why can't you make it for yourself?
- Remember what happened last time?
273
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,519
You're old enough to make
popcorn without starting a fire.
274
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,678
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
275
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,757
I'll be right back.
276
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,555
So Jake's a great kid, isn't he?
277
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,638
Yeah, I suppose.
278
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,395
I would never say this to Alan, but I
don't really care much for children.
279
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:25,077
Well, the truth is, Alan's
not too fond of him either.
280
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,429
He feeds the kid and keeps
a roof over his head...
281
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,909
...but there's no
love lost between them.
282
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,190
- Charlie, give it a rest.
- Sorry?
283
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,232
Why do you push me towards Alan...
284
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,550
...when it's obvious
how much you want me?
285
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,790
He's got a birthday coming up.
286
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,438
Just tell me you want me.
287
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,834
Go ahead, Charlie. Tell her.
288
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:59,431
What? No, no. You two, with the
Dungeons, the Dragons, the Boggle.
289
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,953
You should be together.
290
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,596
Clearly she wants you, so let's be
grown-up, and I'll get out of the way...
291
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,955
...so the two pretty people can mate.
292
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,511
No, no, no, no.
You laid the foundation...
293
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,478
...and you should, you know,
lay the rest of it.
294
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,911
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
but I am stepping aside...
295
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,190
- No, no. I'm stepping aside.
- No, no. I am.
296
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,476
No, no, I'll step aside.
I will clear the way.
297
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,155
Will you both just shut up?
You're ruining everything.
298
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,554
- Nice going.
- Nice going.
299
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,632
- Say it, Charlie.
- Say what?
300
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:36,551
Say that slick, cool, Charlie Harper
finally wants Eckelberry Hound.
301
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:44,233
- You knew about that name?
- That name scarred me for life.
302
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,710
It's the reason I haven't eaten
a carbohydrate since college.
303
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,119
- Well, you do look good.
- You're damn right I look good...
304
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,350
...you smug, shallow son of a bitch.
305
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,910
I have spent years working
and sweating and dreaming...
306
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,868
...about the day that I would be
able to rub your smarmy nose in it.
307
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,196
Okay, I'm getting mixed signals here.
308
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,397
This is the signal, Charlie:
You can't have this.
309
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:14,315
Not now, not ever.
Never, never, never!
310
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,640
You know, I didn't make up
the Eckelberry Hound thing.
311
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,752
But he did spread it around.
I was always your friend.
312
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,157
Oh, please. I spent years
throwing myself at you, friend.
313
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,392
Playing stupid nerd games
on my bed with my shirt open, buddy.
314
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,596
Hoping that you would
kiss me or touch me...
315
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,990
...or at least notice me
as a woman, pal!
316
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,471
- You knew your shirt was open?
- Who do you think opened it?
317
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,869
But I wasn't pretty enough for you.
You wanted Donna DeMarco...
318
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,077
...or Maxine Chernikoff,
just because they had big boobs...
319
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,231
...and no excess facial hair.
320
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,390
Oh, yeah. Donna DeMarco,
old Double D.
321
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,074
Jamie, I had no idea. I am so sorry.
322
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:02,995
But I was a stupid teenager.
I guess I just didn't appreciate you then.
323
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,713
I guess not.
324
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:09,550
But that was a long time ago.
I'm not a stupid teenager anymore.
325
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,235
Do you think maybe you could forgive
me, and maybe we could try again?
326
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,395
Is that what you really want, Alan?
327
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,319
Very much.
328
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,598
Well, eat your heart out.
329
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:27,675
You can never have this.
Never, never, never!
330
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,514
Well, I guess we know
why she's still single.
331
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,478
You're right, Dad. This is fun.
332
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,518
Told you. It just takes a little
while to get the hang of it.
333
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,591
See if I can bring it in for a landing.
334
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,548
Probably not a good idea.
There's no real place to put it.
335
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,514
What do you think Donna DeMarco's
doing these days?
336
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,591
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
337
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,751
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