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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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- Hey, how do I look?
- Incredible.
2
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,796
All men want to be you,
all women want to be with you.
3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,875
Could you at least look at me
before you answer?
4
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,437
I stand corrected.
5
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,512
All men want to be with you...
6
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,797
Charlie, come on.
I'm really nervous here.
7
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This is my first real date since college.
8
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,234
- What the hell is this?
- Bourbon.
9
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,238
- You drink bourbon while you work out?
- Gin makes me sweat.
10
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,518
Look, don't turn this into a bigger deal
than it needs to be.
11
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,877
- You met a woman, you asked her out...
- Technically, she asked me out.
12
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,157
See, I was in the market, and she
needed advice on picking out corn.
13
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,515
There were no employees around.
There never are.
14
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,513
Even if they are, they're not
knowledgeable about produce.
15
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,593
- Thank God you were there.
- Tell me about it.
16
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,990
I explained that you have to
husk a few ears...
17
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,310
...to check the firmness
of the kernels.
18
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,232
Next thing you know,
she asked me out.
19
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,518
Well, I guess that's why they say no one
gets more action than a greengrocer.
20
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,910
- They say that?
- No.
21
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,311
The point is, it's just dinner.
22
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,552
You'll go, you'll bore her to death,
you'll come home.
23
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,359
Yeah, I know, but I wanna look good
while I'm doing it.
24
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,590
You look fine. Just relax. Be yourself.
25
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,638
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
26
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,634
- You think I should bring some condoms?
- Why?
27
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,360
Well, I see the
public service commercials...
28
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,272
Yeah, you're right. See you later.
29
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,797
Feel the burn.
30
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,514
I think it's going well.
31
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,910
My God, Alan. You're like a machine.
32
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:31,279
I'm a love shark, baby.
If I stop making love, I drown.
33
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,034
Okay, okay, okay.
Wait a sec, wait a sec:
34
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,396
Sharks don't growl.
35
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,678
All right, I'm a love bear.
36
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,355
If I stop making love,
I prevent forest fires.
37
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,673
Jeez.
38
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,308
- Alan.
- Put that out.
39
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,188
- Morning.
- Morning.
40
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,549
I see you've been working out again.
41
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,315
Yeah, well, it's good for my heart.
42
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,358
I figure the liver damage
makes it kind of a push.
43
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,033
Morning, all.
44
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,191
- Morning.
- Morning.
45
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,597
Thirsty.
46
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,752
Alan.
47
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,870
Well, gadzooks,
Zippy's getting his freak on.
48
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,878
Yeah, it seems we're living
in an age of miracles.
49
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,076
I guess if they can put
a man on the moon...
50
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,037
...they can put a woman
on your brother.
51
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,236
- Who's the girl?
- I don't know.
52
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,710
He met her at the supermarket.
Helped her pick out corn.
53
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,189
Corn?
54
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,799
Well, I'm not in any position to judge.
I once did a guy for a tank of gas.
55
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,989
- Hey, Alan? Alan?
- Yeah?
56
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,991
- What you got there?
- Basting brush...
57
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:45,188
...chocolate sauce, rubber gloves. You
know what we're gonna use them for?
58
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,911
- No.
- Neither do I.
59
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,559
Charlie, I have never had sex
like this before in my life.
60
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,157
In fact, I don't think anything I've had
prior to this can even be called sex.
61
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,949
Because if you call that sex,
we need a new name for this.
62
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:06,591
My suggestion would be
"hootenanny yum-yum."
63
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,675
I'm happy for you.
64
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:13,355
Me too. Oh, do we have a step stool?
65
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,273
- Hallway closet.
- Thank you.
66
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,271
- You might wanna pace yourself.
- Yeah, right.
67
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,352
Oh, boy.
68
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:33,433
- What?
- Oh, boy.
69
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,874
Can I watch TV?
70
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,679
I don't see why not.
You got eyes and a butt.
71
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,232
Where's Alan?
72
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,713
- He's here.
- Well, may I speak with him?
73
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,633
Sure, why not.
74
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,832
Okay, okay. Wait a sec.
75
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,596
- Ta-da!
- Yes!
76
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,357
Not a good time, Charlie.
77
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:11,069
Well, I thought you might like to know
that your ex-wife and son are here.
78
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,196
She's supposed to bring him on Friday.
79
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,112
It is Friday.
80
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,718
But not until 5.
81
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,950
It is 5.
82
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,031
Okay, cover for me. I'll be right out.
83
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,553
- Alan.
- Yeah?
84
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,234
You might wanna take off
the rubber glove first.
85
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,118
Good thinking.
86
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,880
- He'll be right out.
- Thank you.
87
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,792
So...
88
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,154
...how are you?
89
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,151
What's going on in there?
90
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:50,031
Alan's moving furniture around,
because he's constantly redecorating.
91
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,873
Sorry, I was taking a nap.
92
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,468
So... So, what's up?
93
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,394
I wanted to remind you that Jake has his
karate tournament tomorrow morning.
94
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,757
- Okay.
- What's that on your face?
95
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:09,191
- Just a little chocolate sauce.
- Thank you.
96
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,749
Got it, karate tournament,
tomorrow morning.
97
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,674
Alan, what's going on?
98
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:19,430
What's... What's going on
is I was lying in bed...
99
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,397
...eating a sundae.
100
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,789
- After moving furniture.
- After moving furniture.
101
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,839
And I fell asleep
in some chocolate sauce.
102
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,990
Goodbye, Alan.
103
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,589
- I think she bought it.
- You think?
104
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,239
No.
105
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,791
Why didn't you tell her
you've got a woman?
106
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,155
I don't know. It just seems wrong.
107
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,993
You're divorced.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
108
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,152
It's not guilt. It's more shame.
109
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,710
- What are you ashamed of?
- Charlie, I spent 12 years with Judith.
110
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,792
We went through a lot together.
You can't just erase all that...
111
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,793
...by lapping chocolate sauce
out of another woman's navel.
112
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,555
Okay, my fault for asking. Now,
what do you wanna do about Jake?
113
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,474
Oh, my God, Jake's here.
I don't want him to know I'm dating.
114
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,633
This is not dating, Alan.
This is rubber gloves and step stools.
115
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,199
All right, all right.
116
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,193
You distract him, and I'll
sneak Nancy out and drive her home.
117
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,476
- Fine.
- Okay.
118
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:29,236
Wrong. This is just wrong, so wrong.
119
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,789
Hey, Jake, wanna go
shoot some hoops?
120
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,678
In a minute.
121
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,833
He's oblivious. Just go.
122
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,992
In a minute.
123
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:03,309
No, he's still watching TV.
Hold on, I'll check.
124
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,149
- You hungry?
- What are we having?
125
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,199
- I don't know. Tell me if you're hungry.
- That depends on what we're having.
126
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,510
- Okay, what do you want?
- What do you got?
127
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,031
He's not hungry.
128
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,230
So I thought you were taking her home
and coming right back.
129
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,868
You checked into a hotel?
130
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,597
No, you're right,
driving that way is dangerous.
131
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,554
One pothole
can change your life forever.
132
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:40,148
When's the last time you ate something?
Quit giggling, you know what I mean.
133
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,989
Okay. Okay, look in the honor bar
for some Gatorade or something.
134
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,277
Dehydration is the enemy.
135
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,273
All right, have fun. See you later.
136
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,396
I am hungry. What's for dinner?
137
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,795
- What do you want?
- What do you got?
138
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,675
I think there's a couple of steaks
in the freezer.
139
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,114
I want chicken.
140
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,074
It's just wrong.
141
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,833
So very, very wrong.
142
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,790
- You full?
- Yeah.
143
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:24,078
- Good.
- Why, what else we got?
144
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,437
- You said you were full.
- I am.
145
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,953
Good.
146
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,791
But what else we got?
147
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,719
Sorry, I'm late.
I had to go to the office...
148
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,509
...for an emergency,
and I got a flat tire.
149
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:45,116
And so I had to wait for the auto club
to come and change it.
150
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,554
And I didn't have my card.
151
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,870
And the guy had to check me
on the computer...
152
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,554
...even though I've been a member
since 1989.
153
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:56,874
And that's why it took until now
for me to get back.
154
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,232
Thought you were here.
155
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,233
I missed you, Alan.
156
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,836
Thank you. Can I speak with you
for a minute?
157
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,549
- Hey, Uncle Charlie, what's for dessert?
- You said were full.
158
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,678
Not for dessert.
159
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,033
- Okay, what do you want?
- What do you got?
160
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,597
How do you not kill him?
161
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,390
Charlie, I feel horrible
about what I'm doing.
162
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,195
Then you're doing it wrong.
163
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,318
No, I feel like
I'm abandoning my child.
164
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,199
Weren't you listening?
He didn't even notice you were gone.
165
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,634
That's not the point.
166
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,554
What kind of man chooses sex
with an insatiably hot stranger...
167
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,915
...over quality time with his little boy?
168
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:46,154
I don't know, a man who was married
for 12 years and had sex 12 times.
169
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,635
You're right, I deserve this.
170
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,598
Exactly, so go enjoy yourself.
171
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,591
Well, I do have the room
the whole night.
172
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,479
Yeah, most of your better hotels
prefer you do it that way.
173
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,871
Just make sure Jake goes to bed early.
He's got karate in the morning.
174
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,838
- Which, of course, you'll be back for.
- Charlie, trust me.
175
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,754
You, I trust.
It's him I'm worried about.
176
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,552
What?
177
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:25,799
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
I have to take him to karate?
178
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,554
Alan, it's 6:30 in the morning.
179
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,314
What kind of maniac broad
did you hook up with?
180
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,075
She's incredible, Charlie.
I've never met anyone like her.
181
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,277
Gotta go.
182
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,192
Jake, wake up.
183
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:52,994
Well, I tried.
184
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,551
- Anybody home?
- Right here.
185
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,598
Where's Jake?
186
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,433
I don't know.
Didn't he have a karate tournament?
187
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,912
Yes. You were supposed to take him
three hours ago.
188
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,629
- Why didn't you take him?
- He wouldn't get up.
189
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,189
I tried everything.
190
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,274
What time did he go to bed?
191
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,796
I don't know. I crashed around 2
and he was still going strong.
192
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,036
He was up past 2?
193
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,795
He said he's had coffee before,
but that was a lie, right?
194
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,799
Okay, okay, all right, it's not important.
The karate was his mother's idea. Listen.
195
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,349
I need to ask you for another favor.
196
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:47,798
Oh, come on, put it in the holster,
Wild Bill.
197
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,830
No, no, no. This isn't about sex.
198
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,514
I need you to watch Jake
for the rest of the weekend...
199
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:59,036
...so that Nancy and I can go to Vegas
and get married.
200
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:04,199
Oh, God, Alan. There's no need
to marry the woman.
201
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,158
If you don't wanna have sex anymore,
just tell her.
202
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,198
No, no, you don't understand.
203
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,952
This is beyond sex.
204
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,553
We're in love.
205
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,559
Alan, come here.
206
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,074
You are not in love, you're besotted.
207
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,835
No, no, no, I have never felt like this
about a woman before.
208
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,389
We have a bond
that transcends the physical.
209
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,834
- Really?
- Yeah.
210
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,150
- Kind of a spiritual thing?
- Yes.
211
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,312
Okay. I can understand that.
So where's she from?
212
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,471
She's from around here.
213
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,436
- Where?
- Supermarket.
214
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,799
Charlie, stop that.
215
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:54,318
I have thought this through and I am
really and truly in love with...
216
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,074
- Nancy.
- I knew that. I knew that.
217
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,073
I was looking for the proper adjective
to describe her.
218
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,596
Nuts? Easy? Limber?
219
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,912
Charlie. Charlie, you started off
on the wrong foot with my first wife.
220
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,389
Do not make the same mistake with...
221
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,638
...wonderful Nancy.
222
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,832
Okay, you're right. This is not about her.
Come here. Sit down.
223
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,390
- You gonna hit me?
- Well, let's see how it goes.
224
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,232
Okay, look, I've never been
much of a big brother to you.
225
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,312
I didn't protect you. I wasn't
around when you started dating...
226
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,789
...when you got married and had Jake.
You know why?
227
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,080
- Why?
- I was busy getting laid.
228
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,717
Which makes me the perfect big brother
to help you now.
229
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,111
I've been through this. I know
what it means to confuse sex with love.
230
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,236
That's not what I'm doing, Charlie.
231
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,870
We're talking about me, and I've
been down this road many times.
232
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,273
I remember this one girl.
233
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,670
We had this unbelievably
hot weekend together.
234
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,957
It was like nothing I'd ever
experienced before, and I proposed.
235
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,430
- I begged her to marry me.
- Wow, where did you meet?
236
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,318
Detention.
237
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,199
- This was in high school?
- Eighth grade.
238
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,750
And then years later, it happened again
with a different woman.
239
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,956
Instant chemistry.
The sex was unbelievable.
240
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,918
I was convinced we were soul mates,
so I threw myself at her.
241
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,911
I did everything
to get her to marry me.
242
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,036
And you know what?
If she'd said yes...
243
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,113
...I'd now have a 67-year-old ex-wife
on a belly dancer's pension.
244
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,838
So, what I'm trying to say...
245
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,072
...is you're not the first guy
to mistake passion for true love...
246
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,593
...and you won't be the last.
247
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,069
If someone had told me
what I'm telling you...
248
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,993
...I could have saved myself
a lot of heartache.
249
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,396
Okay. I hear you. Thank you.
250
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,118
You're welcome.
251
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:48,432
So make sure Jake doesn't fill up on junk
food, and I'll call you from Circus Circus.
252
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,514
Circus Circus?
253
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:56,719
You're right, money should be no object.
What's the hotel with the pirate show?
254
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,034
I'm sorry, Alan,
but I'm gonna have to knock you out.
255
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,839
- Hello?
- Mom, thank God you're here.
256
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,389
Oh, I don't need
your sarcasm, Charlie.
257
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,869
No, I mean it. I need you.
Alan needs you.
258
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,314
What's going on?
259
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,630
Alan, tell Mom your plans
for the weekend.
260
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,356
- No.
- Why? Embarrassed?
261
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,112
- No. No.
- Ashamed?
262
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,191
- Scared?
- Yes.
263
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,678
Sweetheart, I'm your mother.
You can tell me anything.
264
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:27,794
Okay. I met a wonderful woman
in the supermarket a few days ago...
265
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,633
...and we're getting married.
266
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,071
I see.
267
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:41,031
For God's sake, if you're that horny,
find a nice call girl, put her on retainer.
268
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,398
This is not about sex.
269
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,278
Oh, please. What else could it be?
270
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,955
- Well, it could be love.
- Yeah. Sure.
271
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,918
Who is this woman?
What does she do?
272
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,836
She does Alan.
273
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,710
Okay, okay, that...
That is how it started...
274
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,270
...but in the last day and a half
it has blossomed into so much more.
275
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,638
Oh, my randy little nincompoop.
276
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,791
Listen, if I had gotten married...
277
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,873
...after every weekend of hot, sweaty
debauchery with a virtual stranger...
278
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:19,989
...you'd have, well, many more
stepfathers than you already have.
279
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,799
She knows what
she's talking about, Alan.
280
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,999
Mom's been on more hotel pillows
than a chocolate mint.
281
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,512
Don't help me, Charlie.
282
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,753
Now... Now, listen, sweetheart.
Sweetheart, no offense...
283
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,832
...but since you're dirt-poor
and living with your brother...
284
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,278
...one must ask, what kind of woman
would agree to marry you?
285
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,274
Unless she's a little slow,
or looking for a green card.
286
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,271
Listen to your mommy, Alan.
287
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,238
No. No, I am gonna listen to my heart.
288
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,789
For your information,
she hasn't agreed to marry me.
289
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,633
- I haven't even asked her yet.
- But you're planning to?
290
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,837
- Yes.
- I'm not going to hit you, darling.
291
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,399
Charlie.
292
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:14,110
Okay, look, I will thank you both
to let me live my own life.
293
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,838
I love Nancy, and Nancy loves me.
294
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,639
And if this is a mistake,
then it will be my mistake.
295
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:23,392
Hello? Nancy. You miss me?
I miss you.
296
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,870
Listen, there's something I wanna
ask you, but I wanna do it in person.
297
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,472
Oh, oh, okay, okay. I understand.
298
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,518
Yeah, sure. Sure. Bye.
299
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,436
Her husband came back a day early.
300
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,759
Okay, my mistake.
301
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,830
- You hungry?
- What do we got?
302
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,030
What do you want?
303
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,393
I don't know. What are my choices?
304
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,590
You can cook something,
or go live on the street.
305
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,191
I'm not hungry.
306
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,271
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
307
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,431
[ENGLISH]
24393
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