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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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- Hey, Alan?
- Yeah?
2
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,274
You had the "just say no" talk
with Jake, right?
3
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,713
Of course. Why?
What talk did you have with him?
4
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,591
No talk, it's just that he's...
5
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,274
It'll be more fun if you see it.
6
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,556
I'm guessing you don't mean
fun for me.
7
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,110
Tell the truth.
How proud do you feel at this moment?
8
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,428
What the hell is he doing?
9
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,312
I don't know. Ten bucks says he hits the
ceiling if we turn on the garbage disposal.
10
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,877
- Jake, what are you doing?
- Breathing.
11
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,077
Breathing. Any particular reason
you're doing that in the sink?
12
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,832
I have to practice.
13
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,438
Man, the girls are gonna love him
when he grows up.
14
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,599
- Jake?
- Yes?
15
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,428
- I'll bring him up.
- Yeah.
16
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,794
Hey, that's not funny.
I could have drowned.
17
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,589
And then we'd have found your body
days later, washed up on the dish rack.
18
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,192
- Where did you get all this snorkel stuff?
- Greg bought it for me.
19
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,157
- Greg?
- Yeah, you know, Dr. Melnick...
20
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,470
...Mom's boyfriend.
He's a real cool guy.
21
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,632
He's gonna teach me how to scuba-dive
after I learn to snorkel.
22
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,030
We're gonna need a bigger sink.
23
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,313
He's got a gigantic boat with bedrooms
on it, and scuba tanks and wet suits.
24
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,792
We're gonna go diving off Catalina. Wait
till you see the flippers he bought me.
25
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,155
Well, Judith's boyfriend
sounds like quite a guy.
26
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,312
- Yeah.
- You okay with that?
27
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,879
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
28
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,315
This can be a sensitive area
for divorced guys.
29
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,153
- I know.
- Ex-wife sleeping with another man.
30
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,232
- Son starting to bond with him.
- Yeah. Yeah.
31
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,597
- Big boat.
- Charlie, what's your freaking point here?
32
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,233
No point. Just drilling for the nerve.
33
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,670
So, what do you think? You wanna go
bowling today? Maybe catch a movie?
34
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,274
No, I'm gonna take another bath.
35
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,556
He does know there's an ocean
out there, right?
36
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,998
Well, Greg doesn't want him
in the ocean.
37
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,230
He wants him to spend time
training in a pool.
38
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,834
In fact, my son's a little unhappy
about being here...
39
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,231
...because he wanted to go snorkeling
in Greg's pool.
40
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,711
He's got a boat and a pool?
41
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,718
I guess you can afford
cool stuff...
42
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,759
...when you don't have to sell your blood
and sperm to make alimony payments.
43
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:27,469
Hey, hey, my relationship with my son
is not based on having cool stuff.
44
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,119
And lucky for you.
45
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,033
- Come on, look at the bright side.
- What bright side, Charlie?
46
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,474
Delineate the bright side.
47
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:38,599
Maybe one weekend Greg will let us
take a couple of chicks out on the boat.
48
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,596
Why on earth
would he lend us his boat?
49
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,556
He's tight with Jake,
we're tight with Jake. We've got an in.
50
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,315
Are you not hearing my pain? My son
likes Judith's boyfriend better than me.
51
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,597
Hey, I don't even know him
and I like him better than you.
52
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,959
You'd think I'd learn.
53
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,955
Alan. Alan, your son loves you.
You're a big influence on him.
54
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,476
- You are the most important role model.
- Oh, I guess.
55
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,313
I mean, so what if you can't teach him
to scuba-dive.
56
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,550
For that matter,
you can't teach him to ski...
57
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,837
...or hit a curve ball
or anything cool, really.
58
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,155
But you bring plenty of other things
to the table.
59
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,234
Thank you, God.
60
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,712
- Hello, Charlie.
- Always a price, isn't there?
61
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,753
- Hello, Alan.
- Jake's taking a bath.
62
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,276
As much as I'd love to spend time
with my grandson, I'm in a hurry.
63
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,793
Need to borrow your Mercedes.
64
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,669
Well, since you're in a hurry,
I'll give you a quick answer. No.
65
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,274
Charlie, please.
I'm showing a house in half an hour.
66
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,000
What's wrong with that
little electric car you bought?
67
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,073
Nothing, it's fine. It's what anybody
who cares about this planet is driving.
68
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,038
If you're trying to sell real estate
to a Saudi oil prince...
69
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,159
...you can't be driving up in some little
toy car with a plug in the bumper.
70
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,112
You could use my car, Mom.
71
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,230
You see? Now, that is how a loving son
treats his mother.
72
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,278
Thank you, sweetheart,
but I need to look successful.
73
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,239
- Charlie, your Mercedes.
- No, forget it.
74
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,159
- Charlie, I am not leaving until you give...
- Happy motoring.
75
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,958
Thank you.
76
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,515
My car is in your driveway.
77
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:29,829
And if you lose power,
there's a kite and a key in the trunk.
78
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,996
For the record, there are other ways
of measuring success besides cars.
79
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,072
You're right. There's boats and pools.
80
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,908
You know what? I hope Mom puts a dent
in your big, shiny, new Mercedes.
81
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,513
Hey, don't say that.
82
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,275
If you're gonna hope for something,
hope she drives it off a cliff.
83
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,713
So this is pretty cool, huh, Jake?
An electric car.
84
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,269
I guess. What happens
when the batteries run out?
85
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,908
You plug it in and recharge it.
86
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,072
But what if there's a blackout?
87
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,597
You sit in the back seat
with a pistol...
88
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,228
...and wait for the looters,
just like any other car.
89
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,269
- Charlie.
- It's a cool car, Jake.
90
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,398
Greg has a really cool car.
He has a Hummer.
91
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,472
You know, your Uncle Charlie's
no stranger to Hummers.
92
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,232
Charlie.
93
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,435
That's a cool car too, Jake.
94
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,399
So, Jake, this is pretty cool, huh?
95
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,518
Driving in a futuristic car,
going to see a movie.
96
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,597
Hey, maybe afterwards
we can go get some pizza.
97
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,239
Sure.
98
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,315
And then, who knows, maybe...
Maybe your old dad will buy you...
99
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,677
...an excessively violent and bloody
video game. How's that sound?
100
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,398
Okay.
101
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,152
You know,
when we go scuba diving...
102
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,073
...Greg's gonna teach me
how to steer his boat.
103
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,232
Well, I am sorry, Jake,
but, you know, I don't have a boat.
104
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,188
I don't have a Hummer, and
I don't know how to scuba-dive.
105
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,033
It's okay, Dad. Greg does.
106
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,231
Hey, Jake, how'd you like your dad
to teach you how to drive a car?
107
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,799
- What?
- Really?
108
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,234
Charlie, he's 11.
109
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,152
So? We'll find an empty parking lot.
110
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,359
- What if he hits something?
- Alan, it's Mom's car.
111
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,194
Guess what? Daddy's gonna teach you
how to drive.
112
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,952
Cool.
113
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,114
Can you reach the pedals?
114
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,953
- Yeah. Can we turn on the radio?
- Forget the radio.
115
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,119
Which one's the window squirter?
116
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,430
Okay, forget the squirter.
Now, come on, focus.
117
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,388
This is your rear-view mirror. It's very
important to check it before you back up.
118
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,120
- Okay.
- Now... Well, what do you see?
119
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,317
The top of Uncle Charlie's head.
120
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,712
A shopping cart, a tree, soda can.
121
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,235
- Looks like Mountain Dew.
- Okay.
122
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,597
Forget the rear-view mirror. We're just...
We're just gonna go forward.
123
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,593
Now, you know, this is the brake
and this is the gas.
124
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,637
Thought it was electric.
125
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,909
He's got you there, Alan.
126
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:20,997
Okay, this is the brake
and this is the electric.
127
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,118
They're very, very sensitive.
You don't have to press hard.
128
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,315
Okay.
129
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:26,833
Now, give it a little tap.
130
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,036
- It is on?
- No.
131
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,190
- Brake! Brake! Brake!
- Brake! Brake! Brake!
132
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,475
Okay. Apparently it is on.
133
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,111
- This is awesome.
- You see how careful you have to be?
134
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,113
And how much closer we are
to the Dumpsters?
135
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,918
- Can I squirt the windows now?
- No.
136
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,197
Now... Okay, why don't you turn
the wheel slightly to the left...
137
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,397
...and very gently press down on...
138
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,311
Brake! Brake! Brake!
139
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,275
Remember, if you wanna drive
Grandma's car again...
140
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,556
...you can't be telling her about it.
- I know.
141
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,156
Or Mom, or anybody else.
Daddy doesn't need the grief.
142
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,197
That was really cool, Dad. Thanks.
143
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,631
- Yeah. Yeah, it was.
- Hey, it just occurred to me.
144
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,315
If Greg's here, we can ask him
about going out on the boat.
145
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,948
No, I'm not going to ask Greg
about going...
146
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,190
Hi, Judith.
Here he is, safe and sound.
147
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,036
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, Mom. Guess what we just did.
148
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,713
- What?
- Nothing in particular.
149
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,990
That's a kids' joke.
"Nothing in particular."
150
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,355
He's been doing it to us all weekend.
151
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,718
- So, well, okay. Bye.
- Alan.
152
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,472
Alan.
153
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,068
Ask about the boat.
154
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,956
- Listen, next weekend...
- Yeah, yeah.
155
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,509
I know. You and Greg
are taking Jake scuba diving.
156
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,432
No, that's the thing.
157
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,670
Greg and I have decided
not to see each other.
158
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,071
So if you haven't made any plans,
you can have Jake.
159
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,708
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'd love to have him.
160
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,156
And I'm sorry to hear
about you and Greg.
161
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,876
- Thank you.
- Is there anything I can do?
162
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,914
Yeah, you can wipe that smirk
off your face.
163
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,195
- Okay. Well... Well, bye.
- Bye.
164
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,475
She broke up with GregShe broke up with Greg
165
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,437
She broke up with Greg
166
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,953
- Alan?
- Yeah?
167
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,439
Peephole.
168
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,351
- Hey.
- Where have you been?
169
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,072
Car wash. They found something
real interesting in the back seat.
170
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,430
Oh, yeah, what?
171
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,992
Okay, now you're just showing off.
172
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,434
No, Alan, I'm not.
173
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,791
Although I have to admit,
that is a sexy little item.
174
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,155
- It is, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah.
175
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,356
I'd like to meet the lady who fills this.
176
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,837
Actually, you know her.
177
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,151
- Oh, really? Lisa?
- No.
178
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,153
- Jennifer?
- Who's Jennifer?
179
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,470
Oh, right. No.
180
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,993
Well, then who?
181
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:26,676
I can tell you, but once I do,
I can't untell you.
182
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,276
- What are you talking about?
- Who borrowed my car last weekend?
183
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,550
Holy mother of God.
184
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,559
No. No. Unholy mother of us.
185
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,474
Mom in a car?
186
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,154
Mom in my car.
187
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,233
If I'd known this was gonna happen,
I'd have gotten the vinyl seats.
188
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,836
Wait. You're not just gonna leave it
in the middle of the floor, are you?
189
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,718
Really creeps you out, doesn't it?
190
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,394
- No.
- Then pick it up.
191
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,988
Hello? Oh, oh, hi, Jake. What's up?
192
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,558
Slow down there.
193
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,190
Yeah. No, I know your mom
broke up with Greg.
194
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,591
Yes. I understand
that you're very upset, but...
195
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,872
Well, no, no.
196
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,749
I can't come over there and pick you up
just because you're mad at your mother.
197
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,994
Well... I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.
198
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,833
Now, why don't you let me
speak to her.
199
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,390
Yeah, Judith, hi.
Look, I am trying to back you up here.
200
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,711
No, I told him he had to work it out
with you.
201
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,636
No, no... Really?
202
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,633
You think it would be better
if he came over here to cool off?
203
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,313
Okay, but...
204
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,550
Well, bring him over, then.
205
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,954
Well... No, I'll see you in a bit.
206
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,792
- Jake's coming over?
- Yeah, yeah.
207
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,838
Apparently he's furious with his mother
about this Greg thing.
208
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,515
Well, that's understandable. He was just
getting to know this amazing guy...
209
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,274
...who had a boat and a pool
and a Hummer.
210
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,077
A guy who could teach him
all sorts of cool stuff.
211
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:25,472
And then his mother just rips
this wonderful man out of his life.
212
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,268
Too soon?
213
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,071
Hello. Everybody decent?
214
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,636
Oh, hi, Mom. What a surprise.
215
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,198
Well, I was in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd drop by...
216
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,715
...and see how my sons
are getting along.
217
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,589
- Well, we're doing fine.
- Yep, just fine.
218
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:50,356
- Good. Jake?
- He's... He's fine.
219
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,954
Just dandy.
220
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,749
Oh, the hell with it.
221
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:05,275
I left a $300 bra in the back seat
of your Mercedes, and I want it back.
222
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:10,798
Oh, my. How in heaven's name
did that happen, Mother?
223
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,714
- Well, if you must know...
- I don't need to know.
224
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,676
Oh, Alan, grow up.
225
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,879
I sold a 12-million-dollar house
and I wanted to celebrate.
226
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,871
With the Saudi prince?
227
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:29,310
Don't be ridiculous. He's got nine wives
and they're all like 11 years old.
228
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,710
No, I was with the seller's realtor.
229
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,314
Splitting that juicy commission
made us both so hot...
230
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,074
...we barely made it
off the front lawn.
231
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,158
Now, go get Mommy's bra.
232
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,710
Oh, darling, that is just sick.
233
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,636
Seek help.
234
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,588
Hey.
235
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,558
- Hey, what's going on?
- My mom broke up with Greg.
236
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,994
I heard.
237
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,469
I'm gonna live here with you and Dad
from now on.
238
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,232
Wanna bet?
239
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,876
- Why not?
- Two reasons:
240
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,270
Your mother loves you,
and life is cruel.
241
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,913
Wait, that may just be one reason.
242
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,670
Well, maybe my dad can talk my mom
into getting back together with Greg.
243
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,917
Enjoy fifth grade, kid. You're obviously
gonna be there for a while.
244
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,718
What am I supposed to do, Alan?
245
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,592
I know how much he liked Greg...
246
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,399
...but that can't be the reason
for me to keep seeing him.
247
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,312
I understand. You're not wrong here.
248
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,710
I'm not? Because I certainly feel wrong.
249
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,713
I failed as a wife.
I'm failing as a mother.
250
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,440
I even blew it as a lesbian.
251
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,431
That might have been the problem.
252
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:03,872
You're not a failure. We're both at fault
for the marriage not working.
253
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,715
You're a great mother. And I'm sure you
would have made a heck of a lesbian...
254
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,916
...if you just hung in there
a little longer.
255
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,830
I'm gonna take Jake out
so you guys can talk.
256
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,274
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Charlie.
257
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,910
- Where we going?
- I gotta trade in my car.
258
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,799
Why are you trading this car in?
Didn't you just get it?
259
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,236
Yeah, but there's a banging noise
that's driving me crazy.
260
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,394
I don't hear anything.
261
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,869
You're not in my head.
262
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,834
Hey, as long as you're getting rid of it,
mind if I take it for a little spin?
263
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,714
Get real.
264
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,311
I promise I'll go really slow.
265
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,755
Forget it. It's not gonna happen.
266
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,753
Is that a footprint up there?
267
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,190
I never should have brought Jake
into the relationship. It was too soon.
268
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,759
Don't be too hard on yourself.
269
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,230
So Greg didn't turn out to be the great
guy you thought he was gonna be.
270
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,279
Oh, he was a great guy.
My God, Alan, he took my breath away.
271
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,438
Our first night together he picked me up
and carried me to bed in his arms.
272
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,675
Well, the point is you brought Jake
into the relationship too soon.
273
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,874
Greg said I was too demanding.
I am, aren't I?
274
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,349
- I am a demanding, angry shrew.
- Hey, hey.
275
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,670
Don't say that. That...
That is not who you are.
276
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,071
That's just who you've become.
277
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,112
But, you know, underneath it all...
278
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,635
...I can still see the frightened,
neurotic girl...
279
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,634
...with the minor eating disorder
that I fell in love with.
280
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,712
Oh, Alan.
281
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,318
I don't get it.
This is exactly like your other car.
282
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,155
No, it's not. Listen. No banging.
283
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,832
Well, I think you should have gotten
a cool car like Greg.
284
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,560
Hey, do yourself a favor
and stop worshiping this dude.
285
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,314
There's a guy in your life
who's worth looking up to...
286
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,959
...and modeling yourself after.
287
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,476
- Dad?
- Okay, two guys.
288
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,677
Well, I still don't understand
why my mom had to break up with Greg.
289
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,469
It could have been worse. She could
have married him and then broken up.
290
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,279
When I was your age,
I was already on my third stepfather.
291
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,271
And I kind of liked the second one.
292
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,194
Well, how did you feel?
293
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,749
How do you think I felt?
I was pissed off.
294
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,272
- Yeah, well, so am I.
- And I'm not saying you shouldn't be...
295
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,750
...but you can't blame your mother.
She's gotta do what's right for her.
296
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,592
- You understand?
- I guess.
297
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,352
Good.
298
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,875
The next time you see her,
give her a big hug...
299
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,635
...and let her know that there's still
one guy who's willing to live with her.
300
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,552
Okay.
301
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,715
Wait, you blame your mom
for everything.
302
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,518
That's different. My mom's Satan.
303
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,752
Come on, let's go boat shopping.
304
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,399
If I'm old enough to drive...
305
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,949
...I'm old enough to know
what's going on with you and Mom.
306
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,395
You're not old enough to drive.
307
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,516
I don't believe that you were carrying
her because she twisted her ankle.
308
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,037
Believe what you want.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
309
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,028
Tell him, Charlie.
310
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,194
Your parents were about to have sex
when we walked in.
311
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,159
Yeah, right.
312
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,711
Subtitles by
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313
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,871
[ENGLISH]
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