All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S06E12.WEB-DL.NF.en

8:15. Roland still isn't here yet.

You know, if we're a half hour late
for this pitch meeting,

we'll be laughed out of the room.

Mr. Rose, you're stressing me out.
And I just chugged a bottle of CBD oil.

Patrick and I will need
to get to the store at some point.

David, your father and Stevie
can use all the help they could get.

-Help?
-I said support, dear.

Listen, I think it's a very good sign
that they've sent a jet.

-There's a jet? Can I come?
-I already asked.

-I'll swap out with someone.
-Stevie, you're gonna be great.

-[honking]
-Okay. Here we go.

Here we go. Stevie, let's move.

Okay, Stevie?

Make sure they feed him
lots of booze on the flight.

Johnny, whoo! Look at me. I'm you.

[laughs]

I can't believe your suit fits me.
We're completely different sizes.

And I have a much more athletic build.

He looks the same age
as the day I met him.

Oh, I'm sure he's just as handsome
as he's ever been.

Boys, this time tomorrow,

your store may be the official supplier
of Rosebud Motels across the continent.

I have nothing but confidence, Mr. Rose.

Rollie, there's mints in your pocket.
There was a lot of onions in the...

-[engine starts]
-...omelet.

Goodbye, my conquistadors!
We are all relying on you--

No! We're cheering you on!

-Just wave. Just wave.
-All right.

-Yay!
-Whoo!

[cheering]

Whoo! Whoo!

[theme music playing]

Can we maybe stop with the drum circle?

Just-- I'm just not feeling great.

Are private planes always that bumpy?

Sorry, Stevie, just a bit anxious
to get this started.

I believe in this team.

And we have an idea here
that could be a nice little jewel

in the Advantage Capital Association
portfolio.

-Agree?
-Agree.

Sure.

Mr. Rose. Ruth Clancy.
I'm Mike Morrison's assistant.

It's an honor to meet you.

Well, hi, Ruth. Just call me Johnny.

Uh, do you know if there is water
where we're going?

'Cause I just got a sudden case
of dry mouth.

There's water waiting for you
in the boardroom.

Right.

Johnny, Mike has been singing your praises
ever since you reached out to him.

He's devastated he couldn't be here
for the meeting.

-What?
-Yeah, unfortunately,

he had to board a flight last minute
to Johannesburg, but he sends his best.

Um, we can always wait 'til he gets back.

He's there for a week.

On a personal note,
my parents used to take me to Rose Video

-all the time when I was a kid.
-Oh.

I always loved the free popcorn.
Nice touch.

Well, thank you, Ruth.

It's always important
to make the experience more personalized.

I couldn't agree more.

-Hi. Ruth.
-Stevie. I like your offices.

-Office.
-Thank you.

Right this way.
I'll show you to the boardroom.

-Okay.
-Hey, does anybody want a mint

before we go up to the boardroom?

I'm looking at you, Johnny.

-I'm good, Roland.
-Uh...

there you go.

Um... what are you doing?

Oh, just some light reorganization.

Okay, because it looks like
you're packing.

[chuckles] You see a few cherished items
being neatly folded

into a piece of luggage
and you immediately leap to conclusions.

So you're not packing, then.

It's just a precaution.

God forbid I find myself once again
being forcefully evacuated

and given no time to do a thorough sweep.

Who will be forcefully evacuating you?

I will, if your father
gets the green light.

And where will you be
forcefully evacuated?

Well, the offices are in New York,
so one can only presume.

-You're moving to New York?
-Hm.

When were you gonna tell me?

Or you're just gonna, like,
up and leave in the middle of the night?

Alexis, neurosis is not becoming
on a young woman.

Well, what are we supposed to do?
You just going to, like, abandon us here?

Alexis, let's not count our poultry
before it's incubated,

and depending on what we acquire,

we might not even have
a guest room available.

Okay. Well, either way,
the Interflix offices are there

and they told me
that they wanted to talk to me

about continuing our relationship.

Felicitations, Alexis.

Okay, I know this technically
isn't news yet,

but, like... this is really good news.

-[squeals]
-[laughs]

[happy squeals]

[sighs]

Hi.

-What are you doing?
-Working.

-What are you doing?
-Um, I'm on a break.

What are you actually doing?

I am looking up apartment rentals
in New York.

What are you actually doing?

I forgot my wallet
and keys and phone. Wait.

Why-- why are you doing that?

Um, apparently when Dad signs the deal,
we are moving to New York.

What? Well, who's moving to New York?

Mom and Dad. And me.

And nobody thought to include me
in this plan?

I literally just found out,
and I'm telling you right now.

Okay. Well, this might be
a stupid question,

but what if the deal doesn't go through?

Okay. You would have no way
of knowing this,

but usually when someone
sends a jet for you,

it means he's very interested. Trust me.

And Tiger Woods.

Okay. Also, and don't worry.

I knew you'd get all panicky
and weird about this,

so I'm looking for a two-bedroom.
You're welcome.

Okay, what if my husband and I
don't wanna share an apartment with you?

Oh, David, you try finding
an affordable one-bedroom

in a place that's not Atlantic City.

This is a lot of information to process
on a Tuesday morning.

Like, I'm gonna have to talk
to Patrick about this.

And, what, we move our business?

I mean, New York would be
a good market for it,

especially if we start supplying
all those other motels.

Oh, my God, David, look at this one.
It overlooks a park.

I would have my own bathroom.

And, oh, my God, your bedroom would have

one of those little beds
that comes down from the wall.

Okay, we're two people.
We would get the master bedroom.

But I have a lot of coats.

I have been looking forward
to seeing Kerry Washington

in that all-female revival
of 12 Angry Men.

Okay, David, I'm gonna have to, like,
bring you down to earth for a sec.

There is no way you're getting tickets
for that show.

-But I love your enthusiasm.
-Okay.

I have to go back to work.
So why don't I just talk to Patrick,

and then we should all regroup
at some point

because there is a lot
of what-ifs to go through.

Like, what if we don't agree
on apartment decor,

-or candle fragrance, et cetera?
-Totally.

I don't wanna get too excited about this,

but I will be putting our names down
for that ticket lottery to see Kerry

because Elle Fanning is supposed to be
incredible as the foreman.

-Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
-Oh, my God.

This is Mr. Rose and Associates.

The floor is yours.

Well, good afternoon, everyone.

I'd like to say, "Long time, no see,"
but Mike's not here and we've just met.

[laughs]

Well, it's good to have you here.

I'm Bryce Wilson.
This is my partner, Tripp Campbell.

Say hello to Advantage Capital.

Oh, hi.

Hope the jet was Johnny Rose approved.

Oh.

Although I guess, at this point,
coach would be Johnny Rose approved?

[both laugh]

Quite the tumble you took there, Johnny.

[falling sound effect]

Could have happened to any one of us.

But thank you for flying us in today.

-Yeah, that was Mike's idea.
-Hm.

Think he felt bad 'cause
he wasn't gonna be here, you know?

Maybe we should get things moving.

-Hi.
-Spoken like a true COO.

Now, I'd like to introduce you to my team.

This is Stevie Budd and Roland Schitt,
and together we are Rosebud Motel Group.

Look, we read the information packet
you sent through.

Buying up local motels, dusting them off,

and selling it as a boutique experience.
Right?

That's correct.

So, Stevie, how do you feel about
walking us through the projections?

Okay. So...

-[computer chimes]
-You might be thinking to yourself,

"These motels are small.
How and why should I-- we invest?"

Well, that's a good question.

I should hope so. It's why we're all here.

[laughter]

-Well, here's why.
-[computer chimes]

There are currently over 250,000 motels
for sale across North America.

Sadly, it's a dying industry,
but not one without potential.

Now, apply our reinvigoration model.

-Reinvigoration.
-[clicking]

Um, should I just wait until it unfreezes?

Billion-dollar company
and none of us can stop technology

from cacking out, am I right?

-I'll get in touch with IT.
-Okay.

What are you guys pumpin' in here, pollen?

Do you mind if I have
some of that water there, please?

-Jesus.
-Oh, gosh!

-Roland! What are you doing?
-What?

-Why don't we take five, huh?
-Okay.

Don't worry. We'll get this cleaned up.

-Good.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Rose.

No, no need to apologize.
I think a quick five would be a good idea.

Here we go.

[Roland coughs]

-[chattering]
-[door opens]

[gasps] Oh, gals! You shouldn't have.

Jocelyn, are we now moonlighting
as town crier?

-Oh, no, Moira--
-Cheeky gawpus, you.

Yes, it's true.

Our husbands, at my husband's direction,
are currently in New York City,

vending their business
to the corporate cognoscenti.

Oh, my gosh. That's so exciting.
I wonder if they'll go

-to the M&M's store.
-Shall I?

Hence our impending move
to the Big Red Delicious.

-Excuse me?
-Moira, I haven't said anything yet.

[chuckles] Why the festivities, then?

Grace is moving to Elm Valley.

That's why the cake says,
"Goodbye, Grace."

Oh, I-- I...

I thought you were singling out
one of my notable attributes.

Shh. Okay, we'll just smooth things over
until Grace arrives.

-I-- I'm right here.
-Yes, you are!

Grace! Our timorous grinagog.

I think I'll miss you most of all.

Moira, are you sure
it isn't a bit premature

to be talking about all of this?

No, don't worry, Jocelyn.
Oh, you're kidding.

No, John has decades on these people.

Okay. Well, that makes me feel
a little bit better.

I... I got a little concerned
when I got this text from Roland,

but obviously I'm just reading into it,
so...

You've received correspondence?

What am I looking at?
A cartoon head exploding?

Oh, it looks like
three cartoon heads exploding.

Well, then they're blowing people's minds.
What's the concern?

It's just that usually
when Rollie sends that emoji,

it's like his head is exploding.

It's like he's in trouble.

Yeah. I get a lot of those texts
during council meetings.

No, listen to me, Jocelyn.

The deal has to happen. Because it has to.
Because there is no alternative.

Okay? It's as simple as that.

You're gripping my wrist
very tightly, Moira.

Okay. Well, let's just continue
celebrating Grace, okay?

I'm Grace.

I know. But she's not-- you're--
you're not celebrating enough.

No.

[bell over door jingles]

[coughs]

I don't think you took long enough.

Okay, am I holding a treat for you?

I don't know, are you?

No. But you can share my muffin.

Seriously. What took you so long?

Are you sitting down?

I mean, I'm-- I'm clearly not. What's up?

So as we all know,

they are currently in New York
securing the deal.

They secured the deal?

They are there talking to people
in New York about securing the deal.

Anyway, when the deal goes through,

apparently their plan
is to move to New York.

Wait? Whose plan? Your parents?

Yeah. And Alexis.

You seem awfully excited
for your family to move away.

We would be moving with them!

What?

Yeah. Alexis has already
short-listed apartments for us.

One of them was featured in season three
of Sex and the City.

Wow.

[chuckles] Don't--
I don't know what to say.

I know. It's a lot to process.
I was overwhelmed at first as well.

I mean, David, our business is here.

Okay. What? You-- you don't wanna go?

Honestly? I don't know. I--

Like, you're just telling me
that you wanna uproot our entire lives,

and it's just throwing me
for a bit of a loop.

Okay. Well, you know,
at this point, it's just talk.

So there's a good chance that--
that the deal won't go through.

In which case, you know, this was just
a big waste of time and frown lines.

I thought you'd be excited.

Would half a muffin help?

I'm not sure.

Okay. You took it, so that's a good sign.

Look, we can't let this bumpy start
derail why we're here.

And why are we here, Stevie?

Because we have an idea.

No. Because we have a great idea.
And they should be--

And they should be lucky to have us.

Damn right.

Johnny, sorry to interrupt,
but we're back up and running.

Oh, great.

Okay. Let's do it.

So I came in two under par

and that is with half the course
underwater.

It was-- it ruined the whole trip.

Horrible. [chuckles]

What course?

Ocean Course on Kauai.

Ah, what hotel?

We got a villa at the St. Regis.

Oh. Very nice.
I've stayed there quite a few times.

-Hm.
-Now let me ask you,

how many of you have stayed in a motel?

Well, motels are small hotels
without the golf courses in case you--

-[chuckles]
-Well, good, good, good.

So you're familiar, at least.

Now, when I say "motel,"
what comes to mind?

Uh, rundown? Unclean? Unsafe?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, that's what I used to think.

I always saw motels as a last resort,
a dreaded pit stop.

But I was wrong.

Motels have the potential
of offering a window

into the unique charm of small-town life.

And that's exactly what
the Rosebud Motel Group plans to do.

Open that window
and revitalize the classic roadside motel

for a new generation.

[computer chimes]

Turns out a couple of coats of paint
and dusting off some mid-century furniture

can go a long way.

That's right.

We've seen a 400% increase in occupancy
since we started marketing.

And cleaning.

And if this is what we can do
with one motel,

just imagine what we can do with 10,000.

I'm not coming to you for charity here.
I'm coming to you with an opportunity.

There is value in these motels.

And if you're wondering how I'm so sure...

[computer chimes]

My family and I
have been staying in a motel

for the past three years.

And I wouldn't trade our stay there
for anything.

That's how strongly
I believe in this idea.

As Stevie can attest,

if my family can find peace and comfort
staying at a motel, anyone can.

And I can only wish that one day soon,

you and your families can experience
the love and simple pleasures

that come with staying
even for one night...

at a Rosebud Motel.

[in unison]
Where every stay feels like home.

Thank you for your time.

[whispers] I think that's great.

Mr. Rose, that was so good.

Did you see their faces?
I mean, I think-- I think they liked it.

Johnny, even I was impressed,

and I thought you had blown it
for all of us.

-[chuckles]
-Didn't you have a briefcase?

See, this is what happens
when Johnny impresses me.

I get confused
and I forget what I'm doing.

What was in that briefcase anyway?

Nothing. You told me to look intimidating.
So I brought a briefcase.

I'll go get it.
I'll meet you guys downstairs.

Mr. Rose, you were so good.

[Bryce laughs] First a video store,
now a motel chain.

What, he wants to reinvent the pager next?

[all laughing]

[room quiets down]

[clears throat]

I, uh, forgot my briefcase.

Don't wanna forget that. [chuckles]

Do you people know what it took
for Johnny Rose to come back and do this

after being away for all that time?

Shame on you. Shame on all of you.

Okay. I just realized
you guys are flying us home.

So I apologize for my outburst,
but I don't regret it.

The man's a legend.

[door opens]

[Moira] Family!

-What's going on?
-Nothing is going on, David.

I'm just worried about your father.

I don't believe the two of you
were encouraging enough before he left.

-I made him a card.
-And I said, "Take care."

We need to do something.

Send some energy his way.

-Hands, children.
-What's going on?

Perhaps we should kneel.

-Okay. You're scaring me.
-Please.

Mm.

[sighs]

-Ow!
-Ooh.

Okay, are we praying?

Don't be ridiculous.

To whom it may concern:

there's a man out there, my husband.

He's out there trying to build back
what we've lost, and...

I'm sorry-- 5'10", slow talker--

Okay. I think they get it.

It's our turn to send him abetment.

It's just that this is feeling
a bit desperate.

Can we do this without holding hands?

No! He's worked so hard

while the rest of us
have just been flailing about.

I don't think that's accurate.

-Absolutely not the case.
-I implore you...

please forward the following:

John, my macho man,

you don't deserve another failure.

Oh.

Okay. What is happening?

I don't know, David. Just go with it.

John, we're here for you.

Oh, Alexis, your hand's as dry
as an autumn leaf.

-Ew.
-Shh.

Well, I'm just happy it's over, Stevie.

Those rooms are never easy,

but you were right there
when I needed you.

Okay, I got my briefcase.
Let's go. Where's the car?

Well, we still have a few minutes, Roland.

We finished early.
The car is not here yet.

I can't wait to pop some champagne
on that plane.

We can finally start enjoying ourselves.

Um, Johnny, let's not jump the gun
just yet, okay?

-Mr. Rose.
-Ruth.

Did we forget something else?

Uh, Ruth, we don't need to be ushered out.
We know where the door is. Come on, guys.

I just wanted to come out
and personally thank you for your pitch.

Well, you're welcome.

It felt like we really
turned things around in there.

You certainly did. But between us,

they won't be moving forward
with the idea.

How can they even decide that fast?

It's okay, Stevie.

They've turned down a thousand good ideas.

I was in the room
when they passed on Uber.

-Well...
-[scoffs]

I guess-- I guess that's it.

I really shouldn't be saying this
on company soil,

but two of the junior partners and I

are in the process
of starting our own firm.

We've got the team,
we've secured the capital,

and we're planning
on launching next month,

and this is exactly the kind of project
we're hoping to get behind.

Maybe I should wait
to hear from Mike first.

Johnny, I think you should listen to her.

Believe me, those people up there,

they don't deserve to be
in business with you.

Mr. Rose, I don't know.

I feel like I'm getting
a good vibe from her.

We would love to take you for lunch
and hear more about your proposal.

Okay, I hear another vehicle.
Heavier tread.

Oh, my God. They're gonna get here
when they get here.

-[vehicle approaches]
-[dog barks]

Is that... could that be their limousine?

That's them!

Oh, your father's insistence
on telling us in person

could so go either way.

This threat of failure is inhumane.

[Jocelyn] No, I think it's exciting.

It's like Deal or No Deal,
but with the rest of our lives.

[sighs]

-John! No!
-[Alexis squeals]

[all laughing, cheering]

You're terrible.

[all laughing]

So you're, like, a businesswoman now.

Damn right I am.

I sealed the deal. It was really me.

-Oh, my God!
-We did it!

We all did it!

Champagne! Champagne for all!

-We only have Zhampagne.
-Zhampagne for all!

-Yes!
-[laughter]