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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,210
-[laughing]
-Oh!
2
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:05,505
Okay, if you think
you've lived through a bad day,
3
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:07,674
try being our next guest.
4
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,218
When she showed up
to a screening of her new film,
5
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,220
The Crows Have Eyes: The Crowening--
6
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,264
-[giggles] Fun name!
-It is!
7
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,560
The last thing she expected
was an actual crow attack!
8
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,311
-[cawing]
-[crowd screaming]
9
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,939
-Oh!
-[chuckling]
10
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,150
Well, now we're being told
that the whole thing
11
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,028
was a PR stunt put out by the movie.
12
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,030
Now, is that clever or what?
13
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:35,785
It sure is! We are so very lucky
to be joined this morning by Moira Rose.
14
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,037
-Well... Ah!
-Ah!
15
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,706
-What a ride this has been!
-Yes.
16
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,916
What a ride indeed, Barb!
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,046
Oh, let me first assure your viewers
that not a single crow was harmed,
18
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,465
and as for humans,
19
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:52,552
oh, nothing but a little wounded pride
and one severed earlobe.
20
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,596
-Oh! [laughs]
-Ouch! Yeah!
21
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,222
Yes, everything you saw
22
00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:00,602
was part of a carefully orchestrated,
entirely deliberate stunt.
23
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,271
Oh, well, it seems to have worked, Moira.
24
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:08,068
With over more than two million views
in less than 24 hours,
25
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,780
this video has created
an incredible buzz for the movie,
26
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:17,285
which, as of right now,
is officially trending on Interflix.
27
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,162
It is? [laughs]
28
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,164
Well, if you're saying it's a smash hit,
29
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:24,000
then I'm just going to have to
take your word for it.
30
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,127
As well as the word
of millions of streamers
31
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,296
across the Internet, I suppose.
32
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,507
You know, the brilliant thing
about being on streaming
33
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:35,220
is that one can start the movie
at any point, anytime they like.
34
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,597
You know, Moira, I think it's safe to say
35
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,558
-you are officially back in the game!
-Yes!
36
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:44,896
Well, you heard it here first!
Do not adjust your sets!
37
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,607
Excuse me, but I'd be remiss
38
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,860
if I didn't acknowledge
my daughter, Alexis Rose.
39
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:56,199
This whole PR coup d'état
never would've happened without her.
40
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,867
[faintly] Honestly,
we just had fun with it.
41
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,495
Can't hear you. [chuckles]
Poor dear's not mic'd.
42
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,123
Well, looks like
there's no stopping you two now!
43
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,833
-Mm-mm.
-Congratulations!
44
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,127
-[both] Thank you!
-[Alexis giggles]
45
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,546
[theme music playing]
46
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,300
{\an8}[door opens]
47
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,803
{\an8}Gentlemen. Morning.
48
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,889
{\an8}I believe you've met my new roommate, Bob.
49
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,724
{\an8}-Roommate?
-Mm-hmm.
50
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,977
{\an8}[chuckles] Yeah.
Uh, Ronnie's been nice enough
51
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,147
{\an8}to let me stay in her guest room
ever since Gwen...
52
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,316
{\an8}-took the house.
-Yeah.
53
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,695
{\an8}And as much as
I'm enjoying the slumber party,
54
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,573
{\an8}I really think that Bob could use
a change of scenery.
55
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,700
{\an8}Maybe he could crash here for a night...
56
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,869
{\an8}or six?
57
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:45,707
{\an8}Uh, yeah, I don't think we, uh,
we have any clean rooms available.
58
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,001
{\an8}Oh, I... I don't mind a dirty room.
59
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,337
{\an8}I hope that doesn't sound as sad as...
60
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,881
{\an8}as it feels.
61
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:58,386
{\an8}Bob, why-- why don't you take a seat?
And grab some water while you're at it,
62
00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:01,472
{\an8}'cause you should really hydrate
after all that crying.
63
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,058
{\an8}Gwen used to love water.
64
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,686
{\an8}[sobbing]
65
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,860
{\an8}Okay, I feel badly for Bob,
66
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:17,530
{\an8}but it's not a good look
to have him wallowing around here.
67
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,449
{\an8}Well, where do you want the guy to wallow?
68
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,993
{\an8}I mean, Johnny,
there's plenty of sad people
69
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,494
{\an8}staying at the motel.
70
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,873
{\an8}That's not exactly how
I'd describe our guests, Roland.
71
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:30,501
{\an8}Well, I'm just saying, maybe he could meet
a fellow wallower here.
72
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,921
{\an8}Oh, it'd be really nice
if Bob could meet somebody,
73
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:36,299
{\an8}'cause from what I hear,
Gwen isn't exactly sitting at home.
74
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:41,054
{\an8}Or what if we take Bob out for the evening
75
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,806
{\an8}and kind of act as his wingmen?
76
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,226
{\an8}Johnny, you know, the whole dating scene
77
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,561
{\an8}has kind of changed a little
since you were single.
78
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,939
{\an8}[clears throat] First off,
we now have electricity.
79
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,774
{\an8}[laughing]
80
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,777
{\an8}Okay, all right, are you in or not?
81
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,903
{\an8}Ooh, I'm in.
82
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,906
{\an8}'Cause I don't wanna miss a chance
to see how this plays out.
83
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,658
{\an8}Bob?
84
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:08,081
{\an8}Well, it-- it would be so nice
to not be completely alone for a night.
85
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:12,210
{\an8}Uh, lucky Gwen, she has another one
of her male cousins visiting.
86
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,670
{\an8}[chuckles]
87
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,838
[sobs]
88
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,425
-[David] This coffee's delicious.
-Thank you.
89
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:24,180
Yeah, it's sort of burning my hand a bit
because I can't put it down on anything.
90
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,516
David, you know that
the new coffee table is coming today,
91
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,394
and that it takes a little bit longer
when it's handmade.
92
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,562
Handmade, yeah.
You know what I think you should do?
93
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,731
Just come over here and relax for a bit.
94
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,108
Sit down, we could put our...
95
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,610
-our feet up on the...
-[knocking on door]
96
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,195
You happy now?
97
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,990
Just do me a favor and watch these
and don't eat them.
98
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,449
Mm. No guarantees.
99
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,829
-Hey.
-Hey. Coffee table for Patrick?
100
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,872
That's me, yeah. You look super familiar.
101
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,249
Have we ordered from you before?
102
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,459
Uh, I don't know.
I... I get a lot of orders.
103
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,712
-Do you mind if I, uh...
-Yeah, come on in.
104
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,256
-Uh, it's just right there.
-Yeah.
105
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,508
'Kay.
106
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,218
[door shuts]
107
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:04,887
[sighs]
108
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,266
I'm sorry, this is who made your table?
109
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,559
-David!
-Hi.
110
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,602
-What're you doing here?
-Okay. Muah.
111
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,895
Wow. We're still doing that.
112
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,732
Uh, this is my boyfriend's place.
113
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,233
-Fiancé.
-Fiancé.
114
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,069
Yeah. Now I remember where we met before.
115
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,237
-Stevie's apartment.
-At Stevie's.
116
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,614
Bingo. I'm sorry for not remembering.
117
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,700
-I meet a lot of people.
-Mm.
118
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,785
That is a great sweater, by the way.
119
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,662
-It really brings out your lips.
-Okay.
120
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,416
Well, thank you for the coffee table.
121
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,876
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
122
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:36,711
I am also wearing a sweater.
123
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:40,339
-A lot of sweat went into this one.
-[chuckles]
124
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,176
This is one of my best pieces.
You got great taste.
125
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,053
And from the looks of it, so does David.
126
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,014
[laughs] Okay. I'm gonna go, uh...
127
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,223
-I'm gonna check on the...
-Perfect!
128
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,516
-...pancakes.
-Yeah.
129
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,601
Say, you know what?
130
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,311
I was just planning on having
a chill night in,
131
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,645
but if you guys are free,
132
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,690
I'd love for you to come by
for a whiskey or... whatever.
133
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,858
O-kay.
134
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:00,443
-You know...
-I mean...
135
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,945
You know what?
We'll think about that for a sec
136
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,739
-and see-- and see.
-Great!
137
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,491
-Hope to see you tonight.
-Okay.
138
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,203
And for what it's worth,
you guys make a beautiful couple.
139
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,871
Thank you so much.
140
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,335
[door closes]
141
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,506
-What?
-No, you're just-- your face is all red.
142
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,216
-It's beet red.
-It is not!
143
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,383
Mm-hmm. It's flush.
144
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,096
-Hey, babe!
-Hey, babe!
145
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,348
Oh, my God! Where are you?
Is that the ocean?
146
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,059
I wish. It's a poster of the ocean.
147
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,228
'Cause I'm actually
in Stewart's dorm room right now
148
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:39,899
because mine got evacuated last night--
small fire ants issue.
149
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,151
Yikes! Hope everything's okay.
150
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,363
It was a real "Fyre Fest." [chuckles]
151
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,949
You do not wanna see
Krista's ankles today.
152
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,867
But it's all good.
153
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,453
We'll be getting our dorms back
in better shape than we left 'em.
154
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,914
-Can't wait.
-Let's talk about you!
155
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,874
Everyone here
has been watching your video!
156
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,084
And to think it was all fake?
157
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,045
Totally fake. Isn't that wild?
158
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:05,174
And all of these PR agencies from New York
are calling to ask me how I did it.
159
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,134
How did you do it?
160
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,929
Um, it's like a little bit too complicated
to explain over this.
161
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,390
Hi, Theodore! Gorgeous view!
162
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,350
Hi, Mrs. Rose! Congrats on the movie!
163
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,936
That last scene
where you leap from your nest
164
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:19,856
only to discover that your wings
aren't developed enough yet...
165
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,232
Oh, you're too kind.
166
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,901
The Daily Mail called it
a "flap for the ages!"
167
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,736
Okay, can I have my boyfriend
back now, please?
168
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,155
-Hm.
-[phone rings]
169
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,364
[clears throat] Oh!
170
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,033
It's Buzzfeed
calling about the ten goriest
171
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,910
Clara Mandrake accidents from the film.
172
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,328
Best we take it.
173
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,539
And don't forget,
we have a conference call
174
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,250
with the Interflix PR people
in a tight 15.
175
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,877
-Okay.
-Moira Rose.
176
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,170
Wow, it seems like you've got
a lot going on, Alexis.
177
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,297
Yes, but not too much for you.
178
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,425
No, don't worry about me,
you're obviously in high demand.
179
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,552
Alexis! They're asking about costars.
180
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,305
I can't be expected to remember
everyone I meet!
181
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,016
Mm. Okay, okay.
Well, I guess I do have to go,
182
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,226
but I will see you in a few days
and I can't wait!
183
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,312
-I can't wait either.
-[Moira] Alexis!
184
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,855
Okay, I'm coming. Ugh!
185
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,398
-Okay, love you! [blows kiss]
-Love you--
186
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,442
Ooh!
187
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,694
[door opens]
188
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,615
I don't think we're the same size, Johnny.
189
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:14,202
I might have trouble fitting tissues
into these pockets.
190
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,246
Oh, you won't need tissues.
There'll be no crying tonight, Bob.
191
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,207
You look like a million bucks.
192
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,375
Well, actually, Bob,
in Johnny's suit there,
193
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,419
you look like a guy
who had a million bucks,
194
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,046
but then lost it. [laughs]
195
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,339
Very funny, Roland.
196
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,090
Now, the suit works, Bob.
197
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:33,221
Bob, in my experience,
it doesn't matter what you wear.
198
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,348
It's all about being yourself.
199
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:38,351
I think the last person
Bob wants to be right now is himself.
200
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,560
I agree with Roland.
201
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,271
I don't know if I can speak
on behalf of women here--
202
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,356
You can't.
203
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,150
Moira used to say, when she was single,
204
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,570
she would always be attracted to men
who could make her laugh.
205
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,448
-How'd she end up with you?
-[laughs]
206
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,034
All right, why don't we try
a little test run here.
207
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,662
Let's imagine we're in a bar.
208
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,081
Ronnie, do you wanna be the woman
in this little scenario?
209
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,167
-Not a chance.
-Okay. [clears throat] Mm!
210
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,170
Move over.
I... [clears throat] will be the woman.
211
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,797
Okay. So we're in a bar
212
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,467
and, uh, you see
this very intriguing-looking gentleman.
213
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,843
Okay. [clears throat]
214
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,346
[high voice] Hello, I'm...
215
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,765
-I'm Gwen.
-Oh...
216
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,183
You had to pick Gwen?
217
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,353
I'm sorry, I saw Bob standing there
and that was the first name I thought of.
218
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,021
-They're always together.
-Okay. Hold it together.
219
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,607
-Pick another name!
-Okay, all right.
220
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,277
Uh... Okay, yeah.
221
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,321
Hi. I'm Ronnie.
222
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,907
-That's my friend Gwen.
-Oh...
223
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:35,950
Okay, this is a disaster.
224
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,035
Thank you, Roland.
I'll take over from here.
225
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,745
-Bob, honestly...
-[crying]
226
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,666
You know, just a few more runs and
you're gonna be drowning in phone numbers.
227
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,294
No. No... [sobbing]
228
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,838
I... I can't breathe.
229
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,007
Ooh.
230
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,970
You know what?
Jake did a great job with this.
231
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,638
Mm-hmm. I was just about to say
232
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,849
this coffee table
really brings out your lips.
233
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,310
Okay, what? I can't compliment the guy?
234
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,187
He's talented. You know,
he's like a one-man operation.
235
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,689
Not in my experience.
236
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,650
And I think it was very nice of him
to invite us for drinks tonight.
237
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,611
-Wasn't it?
-Yes, it was.
238
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,696
It was very nice and I think
we should get back to him about it.
239
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,408
About going to his place
for "a whiskey or whatever"?
240
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,077
David, I'm fine to have drinks
with one of your exes, okay?
241
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,664
Okay, first of all,
Jake is nobody's ex and everybody's ex.
242
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,500
And second of all,
going to Jake's for a drink
243
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,794
is never just going to Jake's for a drink.
244
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,255
Oh... Oh. So you...
245
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,425
Okay, so you think
he invited us over to...
246
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,969
-Yes, I do. Yeah.
-Yeah.
247
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,763
Well, in that case,
we definitely shouldn't go.
248
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,598
'Cause we're not really
the kind of couple that...
249
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,350
-Mm-mm.
-Yeah.
250
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:48,064
That being said,
if we ever did decide to...
251
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,858
have "a whiskey" with someone,
252
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,736
Jake would be the person to do that with
253
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,613
because he literally
doesn't care about anything.
254
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:59,075
So just... I'm just throwing it out there.
255
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:05,665
I mean, we always have the option of going
and just having a whiskey.
256
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,376
Okay. And I always have
the option of online shopping
257
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,503
and just putting things in the cart.
258
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,921
That's not gonna happen.
259
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,884
Um... what's all this?
260
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,719
They just keep coming.
261
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,264
Well, congratulations.
That must mean everyone's happy.
262
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,974
Oh, very happy, yes.
263
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,435
Thanks to your little attack
of the Corvidae,
264
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,271
we are Interflix's number one
stream of the day.
265
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,566
Tied only with the fourth season
of Caroline in the City.
266
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:34,568
From Interflix.
267
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,947
"To Alexis,
268
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,658
congratulations and thank you.
269
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,119
The competition is eating crow."
[chuckles]
270
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,871
"Love, your new best friends
at Interflix."
271
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,125
They're all for you.
272
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,254
Not those. Those are from Joyce Dewitt.
273
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,339
I didn't want to overwhelm you, dear,
274
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,758
I know you're being pulled
in another direction.
275
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:02,054
Though, you might find
a bit more delectation in this.
276
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,307
No, I do. I... I just, like,
haven't received flowers
277
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,643
from someone I wasn't... friends with.
278
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,770
[exhales sharply]
279
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:10,980
What do I do?
280
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,731
What do you want to do?
281
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,567
I can't leave now.
282
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,528
If you're worried about the flowers,
they'll likely be dead in a week.
283
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,656
Yeah, like my career if I walk away
with everything that's going on.
284
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,994
I've already made Ted wait an extra month.
I can't... back out now.
285
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,497
So you... you weigh your options.
286
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:33,043
On the one hand, you are perched
on the precipice of a dream come true
287
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,714
and you can jump knowing,
possibly for the first time,
288
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,176
that you can succeed at anything
to which you put your mind.
289
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:42,970
And on the other hand?
290
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,723
-What other hand?
-Ted!
291
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,017
[gasps] Dear Ted.
292
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,102
Yes, this is a quandary.
293
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,437
[sighs heavily]
294
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,652
[music playing]
295
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,864
Well, things seem to be going well.
296
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,742
Yeah, look, they're standing
pretty close together.
297
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:05,826
That must be a good sign.
298
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,496
Yeah, and he's not crossing his arms.
That's good body language.
299
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,706
-And they're hugging!
-Uh-huh.
300
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,334
And... now he's walking away. Okay.
301
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,794
-Well? How'd it go, Bob?
-[chuckles]
302
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,005
It looked like you two
were hitting it off.
303
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:21,008
What are the odds of running into
my marriage counselor here?
304
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:25,095
I'm sorry, did you just say
you picked up your marriage counselor?
305
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:29,016
No. I'm saying she told me
she can't keep seeing me.
306
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:34,271
Apparently, there's a conflict of interest
and, uh, she's chosen to go with Gwen.
307
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,774
But... I can't blame her.
308
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,903
Okay, can we try my system now?
309
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:45,574
We all laugh, on the count of three,
as if Bob just told a very funny joke.
310
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,284
Oh, no pressure.
311
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,286
[Johnny] Well, you don't actually
have to tell a joke, Bob.
312
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,955
Just act like you did.
313
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:55,042
And that might attract, uh,
you know, someone's attention.
314
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,627
What if they ask me what I said?
315
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,254
Well, they're not gonna ask you
what you said.
316
00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,380
I don't know, Johnny.
317
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,840
This sounds like
a really complicated plan.
318
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,717
-Mm-hmm.
-It couldn't be more simple.
319
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,344
Just follow my lead.
320
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,138
[laughing]
321
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,851
[all laughing]
322
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,649
It's working. It's working. Working.
323
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,484
Is something funny?
324
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,069
Well, now that you mention it--
325
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:23,571
Because it looked like
you were laughing at me.
326
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,989
[Roland snorts, stifles laughter]
327
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:29,118
No, It's-- it's just
my very available friend, Bob here,
328
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,453
just said something so funny.
329
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,290
-What'd you say?
-You said they wouldn't ask.
330
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:39,336
Okay, I'm not saying I'm bailing on this,
but I think I'm gonna go mingle and...
331
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,171
I might not come back.
332
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,258
It's not so much, uh, what he said,
333
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:47,052
it was just, uh--
it was a funny observation. [laughs]
334
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,347
Well, next time, observe someone else.
335
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,225
[groans]
336
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,186
Crash and burn, Johnny.
337
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,939
Boy, I... I buckled under the pressure.
338
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,067
But she was a dead ringer for Gwen.
339
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,159
Oh, didn't know
we were bringing our friends tonight.
340
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,619
'Kay, I knew I shouldn't have
worn this shirt.
341
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:15,456
No, it's nice, it's nice. Is it new?
And does it come in an adult size?
342
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,499
It's not new. I just haven't worn it yet.
343
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,002
-So it is new then.
-Is that cologne I smell?
344
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,463
No. This is a leather-scented
body moisturizer.
345
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,466
So, you... you moisturized your body then.
346
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,844
You know what? [chuckles]
Why don't we not do this?
347
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,429
This is getting a bit complicated.
348
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,432
The only thing that's complicated here
is the length of your sleeves.
349
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:34,642
Go long, go short. Just pick one.
350
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,936
Um, as for this...
351
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,146
If one of us wants to leave
and the other one wants to stay, then...
352
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,482
-We both leave.
-We... both leave, yeah.
353
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,444
So... I think you should knock on the door
354
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,447
because these arms are nice and warmed up.
355
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,158
All right. [knocking]
356
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,957
Hi, boys. So glad you could make it.
Come on in.
357
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,625
[music playing]
358
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,503
[chattering]
359
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,004
Oh, wow.
360
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,131
A lot of people are here
for drinks, David.
361
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,385
Yeah, a few more are on their way.
Make yourselves at home, boys.
362
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,553
-Great shirt, by the way.
-Aw.
363
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,263
Mm-hmm. Thanks. Um...
364
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,143
-We left our wine in the car.
-Oh.
365
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,228
So we should go get that.
366
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,438
Oh, don't worry about it.
Plenty of vino here.
367
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,441
Yeah, it's just that ours is, um...
368
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,235
-kosher.
-Mm.
369
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,363
Well, hurry back. We're gonna start
the massage circle soon.
370
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:30,739
-Oh.
-Don't wanna miss it.
371
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,575
Think you're up for the massage circle?
372
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,536
-This is way too many people.
-Yeah.
373
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,621
You have your coat. We should go.
374
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,248
And... Stevie?
375
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:42,710
-Oh... my God.
-Huh.
376
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:44,962
What're you doing here?
377
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:49,049
-What're you two doing here?
-We were...
378
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,468
-We were just--
-Invited for drinks?
379
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,513
I don't know what you're talking about.
We came here to say hi
380
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,556
-and now we're leaving.
-Mm-hmm.
381
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,933
Can I not have one thing for myself?
382
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,270
No. Anyway, we're gonna go.
You gonna come with?
383
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,982
Uh, I still have, like, half a drink left,
384
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,943
so I think I'm gonna finish it here,
and then... meet you guys later?
385
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,237
-No, you won't.
-No, I won't.
386
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,197
-Okay.
-Have fun.
387
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,574
Bye.
388
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,077
[crickets chirp]
389
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,704
[Skype call rings]
390
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,835
[Ted, out of breath] Hey, sorry I'm late.
391
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:27,504
Myrtle was laying her eggs
and the whole team was really excited.
392
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,299
Mm! Yeah, I bet. Fresh omelets.
393
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:34,595
Well, Myrtle's a green sea turtle,
and they only spawn every two years,
394
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:38,265
so eating her eggs would actually disrupt
an entire ecosystem.
395
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,142
Plus, there's, like, a ton of cholesterol.
396
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,187
Mm. Um, well, it sounds like
you're super busy,
397
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,397
so I don't wanna take up
too much of your time,
398
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,275
um, but I actually wanted
to talk to you about something.
399
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,027
I know what you're going to say, Alexis.
400
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,111
You do?
401
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,573
I've been dropping the ball
when it comes to our phone dates.
402
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:57,451
Between juggling work
and-- and the time difference--
403
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,661
No, Ted, you haven't done anything wrong.
404
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,246
We've both been so busy with work,
405
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,207
and then on top of all of that,
you've been...
406
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,501
renovating your entire apartment for me.
407
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,213
Well, I put some screens on the windows.
I wouldn't really call it a renovation.
408
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,298
Okay, well, you bought a juicer.
[chuckles]
409
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,384
Um, but the more
I've been thinking about it,
410
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,679
the more I feel like...
411
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,265
-I think you should stay where you are.
-...maybe I should stay here.
412
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,184
Sorry, did-- did you say something?
413
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,853
No. Um... What did you say?
414
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:27,898
I can't have you come here, Alexis.
You'll hate it.
415
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,776
And I'm not just saying that
because the screens that I installed
416
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,362
are actually attracting more bugs somehow.
417
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:37,241
But you'd be leaving everything
that you're doing to come here,
418
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,369
and I can't guarantee
that there won't be another work trip
419
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,454
that takes me away for days at a time.
420
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,291
Don't get me wrong,
I want you here so bad,
421
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,501
but I know you.
422
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:51,839
And no matter how many juicers I buy,
this place just won't feel like home.
423
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,262
Sorry. I can't tell
if the screen's frozen,
424
00:18:58,345 --> 00:18:59,555
or if you're just really shocked.
425
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,932
But if you still want to come,
I'm not gonna tell you not to.
426
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:06,061
No, no, no, no.
Um... you've made some very valid points.
427
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,106
Yeah. I didn't even tell you
about the shared bathroom situation.
428
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,984
Okay, well,
maybe you could've led with that.
429
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,485
Would've saved us some time.
430
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,280
Um, but I guess we just wait it out?
431
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,615
Seems like our only option.
432
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,285
Yeah, until somebody
invents teleportation.
433
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,452
[chuckles]
434
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,373
Okay, well, um... nobody's home,
435
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:30,335
so why don't we start by teleporting you
out of that shirt?
436
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,006
That's not really how teleportation works,
but I think that I can--
437
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,341
Aw... not again!
438
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,386
I'm so sorry, uh, but the ants are back
439
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,138
and, uh, I think what we're about to do
440
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,891
probably wouldn't end very well
if a fire ant was involved.
441
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,809
Um, rain check?
442
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,519
Rain check.
443
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,730
[sighs] I love you!
444
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,690
Uh... Mm. Oh!
445
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,818
Love you.
446
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,785
Hey, I'm heading out.
447
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,204
Calling it a night?
448
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,498
Well, actually,
my night is just beginning.
449
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,460
Whoa... Welcome to the players' club.
450
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:12,836
No, I'm not high-fiving that.
451
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,422
Look, her name is Vanessa,
452
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:20,093
and she has a very single,
very attractive friend over there,
453
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:24,139
who was just telling me about
all the trouble she's having with her car.
454
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,558
Bob, this is right up your alley.
455
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,852
Nobody knows their way around cars
like you.
456
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,897
Yeah, I, uh, was really hoping
to not talk shop.
457
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,066
Bob, just go over and talk to her.
458
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,734
Look, be yourself.
459
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,779
Have a mint. Go, go, go, go.
460
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:45,244
And that, gentlemen,
is how it's done. Bye!
461
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:50,916
You know, Roland,
I do not miss being single.
462
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,709
Whoa, here's to that.
463
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,503
-[bottles clink]
-Cheers, my friend.
464
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,714
Not that I didn't have fun in my day.
465
00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,841
They actually used to call me
"the closer."
466
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,635
[chuckles] Yeah. Well, that was probably
467
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:04,304
because women used to
close out their tabs and go home
468
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,472
when you came into the bar.
469
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,642
All right, speaking of closing out tabs,
I think we should get out of here.
470
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,936
Which is what the women
used to say to each other
471
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:12,604
when they saw you
walking through the door.
472
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,856
I'm not setting you up anymore, Roland.
473
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,525
Which is what your matchmaker said!
474
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,151
-[laughing]
-Oh, boy.
35449
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