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1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,131
I don't know why I'm feeling
this, like, deep, aching sense of dread.
2
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,550
David, I'm more than capable
of looking after your store
3
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,218
while you and Stevie work the flea market.
4
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:13,888
Why did Patrick have to book today
of all days for his tax seminar?
5
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,725
Like, who voluntarily goes
to a tax seminar?
6
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,477
Maybe the kinds of people
who want to keep their businesses?
7
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:21,938
Okay, hi.
8
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,607
You are literally only here
to receive a package.
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,027
So I cannot have you distracted
on your phone.
10
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,821
Unless there's an emergency,
and then immediately call--
11
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:30,905
Call Patrick. I know!
12
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,907
No! Patrick is at the tax seminar!
13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,826
Are you hearing anything I'm saying?!
14
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,411
Yes. Stay off your phone.
15
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:39,622
Wait for the delivery man
to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
16
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,250
Okay, can I? 'Cause the last time
I left you in charge of something--
17
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:45,670
Ugh! If this is about
those stupid Tamagotchis...
18
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,922
-Actually, it is.
-Okay, guys--
19
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,841
You left me with six of them, David.
20
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,051
Taking care of that many
is like a full-time job!
21
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:56,139
I left you with six adult Tamagotchis
in perfect health!
22
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,933
And by the time I came home,
they were all dead.
23
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,520
You have to, like, actively murder them
in order for that to happen!
24
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,816
Okay, David, um, as much as I love
carrying out all these boxes by myself,
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,861
I think she's going to be okay,
so maybe you could give me a hand?
26
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,947
How did David con you into this anyway?
27
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,785
It gives me an excuse to take a break
from rehearsals with your mom for a day.
28
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:21,831
Um, last night she texted me at 3:00 a.m.
and all it said was "leggings."
29
00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:24,501
-Hmm...
-We have to go.
30
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,920
Um, you're welcome, by the way, David.
31
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,129
Who knows, maybe after today
32
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,882
you'll finally stop talking about
your little Tamagotchi.
33
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,926
Unlikely... Murderer.
34
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,220
[door closes]
35
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:47,857
{\an8}Unfortunately for everyone, John,
Stevie turned out to be quite the find.
36
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,693
{\an8}She'll need a lot of direction,
obviously, but...
37
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:55,156
{\an8}you know, a ballet intensive, perhaps
some mittens to curb the nail-biting.
38
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,368
{\an8}Moira, I love the way you pour yourself
into your projects.
39
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:02,997
{\an8}But the whole point of this spa trip
was to take a breather from Cabaret.
40
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,709
{\an8}Yes John. I promise to enjoy
the 60 minutes I'll spend
41
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,628
{\an8}having my deepest tissues palpated.
42
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:11,631
{\an8}Then a few sips of cucumber water.
43
00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,008
{\an8}Factor in five minutes for you
to use the facilities
44
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,343
{\an8}and we'll be back home by noon.
45
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:17,262
{\an8}And we're not rushing through this, Moira.
46
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,722
{\an8}We've got an entire day of treatments
ahead of us.
47
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:25,937
{\an8}Today is for slowing down
and getting reacquainted with our bodies.
48
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}Okay, just please give me a moment
to make a decision on this chaise lounge.
49
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,111
{\an8}Oh, put the phone down, Moira.
50
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,445
{\an8}Whatever it is can wait.
51
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,906
{\an8}It's for Fräulein Schneider's Salon.
52
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,409
{\an8}Do you prefer the olive suede
or the merlot?
53
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,871
{\an8}Similar texture,
but poles apart in emotional complexity.
54
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,831
{\an8}I can't look right now, Moira.
I'm driving.
55
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,457
{\an8}All right. I'll hold it up for you.
56
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,917
{\an8}No, Moira, I can't right now.
57
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,335
{\an8}It's just a quick glance, John!
58
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,212
{\an8}All right, then you need
to hold it straighter.
59
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,256
{\an8}-[thud]
-Uh-oh, what was that?
60
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,717
{\an8}A tiny speed bump.
61
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,552
{\an8}Speed bump?
We're in the middle of nowhere.
62
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:01,681
{\an8}Why would there be a speed bump?
No, I think I hit an animal.
63
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,017
{\an8}Oh, it's the circle of life, John.
64
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:08,354
{\an8}You've just provided a nice Passover seder
for a family of hawks.
65
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,691
No... ew...
66
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,360
[door shuts]
67
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:21,618
John, don't get too close, dear.
We can't afford you contracting mange.
68
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,871
{\an8}It's a cat, Moira. I hit a cat!
69
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,292
{\an8}Well, what kind of ailurophobe
sends their kitty out to play
70
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,003
{\an8}on such a busy stretch of highway?
71
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,422
It's got a collar! This is someone's pet.
72
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,632
[sighs]
73
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:40,637
There's a farmhouse right there,
probably belongs to them.
74
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,182
Or not.
75
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,522
Okay, so this is really good,
we just need everything facing forward.
76
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,857
Facing forward.
77
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,026
Facing forward. See what I'm doing here?
78
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,611
[Stevie] Okay, like a serial killer?
79
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,658
-David Rose! [chuckles]
-Oh, God!
80
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,117
Would you look at that?
81
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:07,163
If this isn't a full-circle moment,
then I'm not twice divorced.
82
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,790
My God, Wendy!
83
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,417
[gasps] This must be your wife.
84
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,919
-No. No, no.
-God, no.
85
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,837
Wendy, this is my friend, Stevie.
86
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,339
Stevie, this is Wendy.
87
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,591
Wendy used to employ me
at the Blouse Barn.
88
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,011
I'm so sorry,
I don't mean to jump to conclusions.
89
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,306
I guess I've got marriage
on the brain again.
90
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,309
If you can believe it, I'm engaged!
91
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,311
-Hmm, wow.
-Congratulations.
92
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,606
Well, you know what they say about love.
93
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,692
It's like target practice.
94
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,278
If you just keep shooting at it...
95
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:45,618
Anyway, David, I was hoping
you would have settled down by now!
96
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,454
Oh, I actually own this business
with my partner.
97
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,792
-Get outta town!
-I know, I am as shocked as you are.
98
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,878
Well, I guess that makes us flea buddies.
99
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,338
I've got my own booth.
100
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,590
Wow, so we're reopening the Blouse Barn?
101
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:04,178
Oh, no, no, no,
just test-driving a new business idea,
102
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:08,224
brought to me by my new partner, Antonio.
103
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,601
Antonio!
104
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,645
What are you doing?
105
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,356
Come over here so I can show you off!
106
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,110
Hey.
107
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,613
Well, Antonio, say hi to everyone.
108
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,949
-[softly] Hi.
-You look very familiar.
109
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,617
Have I seen you in my store before?
110
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,077
I don't think so.
111
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:29,662
Okay.
112
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,126
He seems sweet.
113
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,378
He reminds me a lot of you.
114
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,339
Well, isn't that a compliment. For him.
115
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,218
I better get back and help Tony
set up the booth.
116
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:48,139
It was such a treat seeing you, David!
117
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,099
And you, Karen!
118
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,269
-[silent]
-Karen's a new one.
119
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:56,981
I have definitely seen that guy
in my store before.
120
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,903
Do you think that Wendy knows her fiancé
has been checking out every guy in here?
121
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,906
She has the worst taste in men.
122
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:08,451
At one point, she told me
she was looking for a Jon Gosselin type.
123
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,874
Sorry, we're closed.
124
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,000
Very funny.
125
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,044
Ugh, I was hoping
you were the delivery guy.
126
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,546
-Thanks.
-No, I'm just, like, so bored.
127
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,092
Well, I am not the delivery guy,
but I come bearing gifts.
128
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,846
[suggestively] But I didn't pay for that.
129
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,723
I know, I got it at the flea market.
130
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,727
Mmm. Thank you for the delivery.
131
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,021
Do you need my signature?
132
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,689
Oops.
133
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,067
Oh, wow!
134
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,401
[both giggling]
135
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:48,491
Uh, miss, seems that the strap
has fallen off of your shoulder.
136
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:54,038
I'd offer to put it back for you,
but as a delivery guy,
137
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,748
I don't know if it's my place.
138
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,167
Oh, how respectful.
139
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:02,130
Now, if only you had
that much respect for my time.
140
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,132
I've been waiting here forever.
141
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,300
Um, sorry that I'm late...
142
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:07,885
My...
143
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,180
grandmother passed this morning.
144
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,516
Ew! Oh, my God, Ted!
145
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,351
Sorry, I wasn't prepared for an improv.
146
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,353
No, it's fine, it's fine. [clears throat]
147
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,691
Okay, what else weren't you prepared for?
148
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:26,696
-The... import taxes?
-Hmm...
149
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,865
Okay, I'm not good at this.
Can we just skip to the good part?
150
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,741
Yes. Okay. [giggling]
151
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:37,331
So, you and I just innocently witnessed
an 18-wheeler barreling down--
152
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,584
Moira, I'm just gonna be honest,
all right?
153
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:43,337
There was an accident,
it was tragic, unavoidable,
154
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,839
and then we'll be on our way.
155
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:45,923
Mm-kay.
156
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:49,719
[door opens]
157
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,016
Can I help you?
158
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,061
Wha... Beautiful day, isn't it?
159
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,148
-Crops need rain.
-Yes, yes.
160
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,649
Oh, as they often do.
161
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:09,197
Um... well, we just had
an unfortunate thing--
162
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,201
My husband struck down your feline
with our car.
163
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,244
Well, we don't necessarily know
164
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,414
whether the cat belongs
to this, uh, gentleman.
165
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,832
Well, what did it look like?
166
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,628
The name on the tags was "Sergio"?
167
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,963
Well, that was him.
168
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:30,927
Oh, these city people driving
too damn fast up and down this road.
169
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,096
No, I don't think speed
was the thing here.
170
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,933
No, my husband has
what's called a feather foot.
171
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,976
Well, then, why did you stop?
172
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,314
We thought it was...
the decent thing to do.
173
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:47,944
Um, now that's done, and we have
a very pressing engagement, so...
174
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:52,031
Well, my wife is so right,
we're running very late right now.
175
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:55,826
The hammam spas are notoriously fickle
about refunds.
176
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,994
You're going to the spa?
177
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,914
Well, that does sound important,
178
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,999
but since you just killed
my daughter's cat,
179
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,419
coming inside to break the news to her
might be a little bit more important.
180
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,587
Don't you think?
181
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,966
Hm, John, shall I pick you up
on the way back?
182
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:13,719
I know how desperate you were
for me to have my day of detox.
183
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,846
No! No, Moira!
184
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,809
I think it's better if you...
come inside with me
185
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:24,522
so we can, uh, break the news together.
186
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,944
[David] Okay, this is the last of them,
187
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,988
unless you wanted me to bring in
the 14 coffee cups
188
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,365
and three empty chip bags
that are also in your back seat?
189
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:38,786
Mmm-hmm. David, remember
when you thought Wendy's partner
190
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,288
had been in your store before?
191
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,123
He has been in my store before.
192
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,875
Well, I think I know
why he wasn't being so up front about it.
193
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,795
I know what you're gonna say, and I also
thought he was into me for a second,
194
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,589
but I'm pretty sure that's just his face.
195
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,508
No. Look over at their booth,
196
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,553
and tell me you don't notice
any similarities.
197
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,310
-What the actual fuck?!
-I know.
198
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,145
They've ripped off our entire store.
199
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:07,773
-Yeah.
-Tulips instead of roses? Woof!
200
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,484
Similar products.
The labels even look like ours.
201
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,403
Except their stuff's half price.
202
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:13,529
What?
203
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,990
Well, we have a very loyal customer base
204
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:19,201
who would not be fooled
by some skanky knockoff.
205
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,495
Okay, Dave, I'm ready to check out here.
206
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,707
Roland! What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be at the motel!
207
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,876
I'm on my coffee break,
and I ran out of foot cream.
208
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:31,589
-Those are three for 15, yes?
-These are not from our store.
209
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:33,966
What are you talking about?
I just got 'em off your table over there.
210
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,801
That's not our table.
211
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,637
Well, then, why were you standing there?
212
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,848
That's not me!
And he's still standing there!
213
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,935
Okay, do you want the sale, or not?
214
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,939
Uh, no, you can buy our superior
foot cream at a slightly higher price.
215
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,943
Jeez. You were a lot nicer
when I was talking to you over there.
216
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,656
[rooster crows]
217
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,745
[whispers] How far do you think we'd get
if we just started running?
218
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:07,541
When might we expect
your daughter to show up?
219
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,796
Because we do have a very busy day
ahead of us. [laughs nervously]
220
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:16,258
Well, Baby's still sleeping,
but if you wanna go and wake her up,
221
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,552
tell her what happened, by all means.
222
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,263
Where is "Bebe's" chamber?
223
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,640
[footsteps creak]
224
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,642
Oh, there she is now.
225
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,436
She's either up, or takin' a leak.
226
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,564
Either way, great progress for "Bebe."
227
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,067
Here she is.
228
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,779
What's all this? Who are you?
229
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:41,242
Uh, hi, Johnny Rose, Baby.
230
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,621
-This is my--
-Sergio's dead!
231
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:46,789
[soft groan]
232
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:49,708
What the hell?
233
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:54,588
Yes, it seems he had taken ill,
and stumbled out on the road, poor thing,
234
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,715
presumably to end it all.
235
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,842
And then?
236
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,553
And then we ran over him.
237
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,679
[Baby sighs]
238
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:06,851
[sobbing]
239
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:14,150
Anyway, this feels like
a very private family moment...
240
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,653
-[sobbing]
-...that we're more than willing to share.
241
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,408
[sobbing continues]
242
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,788
That's for you.
243
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:32,376
Clearly, that brand loyalty you were
talking about is really paying off.
244
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,503
I'd like to pay you off
to not be here anymore.
245
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,924
Roland, what are you still doing here?
246
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,384
This will only take a second.
247
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,970
Dave, I don't know if you remember or not,
248
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,890
but I purchased some foot cream
from you earlier?
249
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,141
That wasn't our foot cream.
250
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:50,769
Yeah, okay, well, you took my 15 bucks,
and now I'd like a refund,
251
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,897
because I realized
I've used this stuff before,
252
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,315
and it makes my feet stink.
253
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:55,524
Give me that.
254
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,570
[sniffs] Ugh!
255
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,071
It smells like pennies and burps!
256
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,949
Oh, yeah! Wait, that smells
exactly like the stuff
257
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,367
we used to use at the motel.
258
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,620
-Ugh.
-Like, exactly.
259
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,206
Wait a second...
260
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,415
[scoffs]
261
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,210
[gasps]
262
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,336
That's why!
263
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,546
Gel Time Moist Liquid.
264
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,299
-[scoffs]
-"Contains 100% moist liquid."
265
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:23,010
Uh-oh, Davey got busted!
266
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,137
-Okay, this is not our product, Roland!
-Mmm.
267
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,806
Anyone who sells
counterfeit luxury beauty products
268
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,600
is clearly a sociopath.
269
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,436
Dave, I don't wanna tell you
how to run your business,
270
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,397
but three or 15 dollars for Gel Time
is a total rip-off.
271
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,484
I mean, pharmacies hand those out
for free on Halloween.
272
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,402
David, you have to talk to Wendy.
273
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,154
[David] Okay, what am I gonna tell her?
274
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,990
That her curious life partner,
who looks nothing like me,
275
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,743
is some big old con artist?
276
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:49,203
[laughs]
277
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,829
$18 for toner?
278
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,165
Oh! Why don't you just put on
some Gel Time?
279
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,209
That stuff will strip your skin right off.
280
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,754
[sniffs] Ugh!
281
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,840
Whoa! That was...
282
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,510
I know, like, we are good,
but that was like--
283
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,595
You pulled some new tricks out.
284
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,972
New to you.
285
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,350
Anyway, David should leave you in charge
of the store more often.
286
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:15,771
Um... Ted, the door was unlocked
the entire time!
287
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,231
What?
288
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,024
Someone could've like, walked in on us.
289
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,693
They would've gotten quite the show!
290
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:25,948
It's very...
irresponsible and dangerous of us.
291
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,533
Well, now we know for next time.
292
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:32,746
Oh, um, I almost forgot,
I never signed for that parcel.
293
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,291
Uh, I don't think the guy showed up.
294
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,417
No, Ted...
295
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:42,464
Oh, uh... Oh, yeah,
I'd get your signature,
296
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:48,012
but I guess I left my clipboard
and scanner thing somewhere, so...
297
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,098
Do you think it might be
in David's new bathroom?
298
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:55,144
Apparently, it's just for customers,
but he never lets anyone use it.
299
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,730
I remember now, I definitely left
my scanner thing in there.
300
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,983
Mmm... let's go find your scanner thing.
301
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,277
Can I just request we actually drop
the scanner-thing bit?
302
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,738
-Just 'cause it's kinda throwing me off.
-Yeah, okay.
303
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,074
Oh, this is nice!
304
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,368
Uh-oh! Is that a sink?
305
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,162
Oh! I "sink" it is!
306
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,206
-[Alexis] Help me up, babe.
-[groan]
307
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,959
-[Alexis screams]
-[crashing]
308
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,878
-[Ted] Oh, my God!
-[Alexis] Fuck! Ugh!
309
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,047
[sobbing]
310
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,259
How are we still trapped
in this gothic horror show?
311
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,346
You know, I think we've already missed
the seaweed wrap,
312
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,557
and at this rate, it's not looking good
for the salt scrub.
313
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,186
You know, I wish there was
something else we could do here,
314
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:41,065
but I really feel
we've overstayed our welcome.
315
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,108
Yes, we should really hit the road.
316
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,486
In that big, fancy car of yours?
317
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:49,198
Oh, it's big, but it's not that fancy.
318
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,743
Listen, folks, we don't want much.
319
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,956
But you should cover the expenses
of the funeral.
320
00:15:57,706 --> 00:16:00,292
The funeral... for your cat?
321
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,628
Well, it was Baby's only cat.
322
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,630
Perhaps it's the lack of air,
323
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,924
but I believe I saw three or four cats
324
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,426
running around
since this interrogation began.
325
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,387
It was my only tabby.
326
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,765
Okay, well, maybe
there's something we can do.
327
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,934
Does Bebe enjoy the theater?
328
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,438
Hmm? How about two complimentary...
329
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,608
partially-obstructed-view seats
to Cabaret?
330
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,528
No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.
331
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,114
You got tickets to Kinky Shoes?
332
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:33,033
I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.
333
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:40,040
Well, maybe a professional massage
might help ease Baby's pain.
334
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,709
I like massages.
335
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,670
So, now you're taking Bebe to the spa?
336
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,922
No, I wouldn't be taking her, Moira,
337
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,884
but maybe Baby can take her grandmother.
338
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,845
-I'm her mother!
-Yes, well that--
339
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,388
Yes, you are!
340
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:58,225
And you are going to adore
the rejuvenating facial peel.
341
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,103
Can I keep the slippers?
342
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,107
This is my favorite aftershave.
343
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,692
-[whispers] Go!
-Okay.
344
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,486
[silent]
345
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,490
Hi. Wendy, hi!
346
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,659
David! Isn't this great?
347
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,120
The two of us, back together!
348
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:22,583
Successful in business!
Successful in love.
349
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,501
Mmm-hmm, totally.
Quick question for you, Wen--
350
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,546
You know,
when Antonio came to me with this idea,
351
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:31,467
I wasn't sure there was a market
for another general store.
352
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,427
Everyone is doing them now.
353
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,054
Yeah, I was one of the first,
but I get it.
354
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,473
And they sell all the same stuff.
355
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:42,436
I'm sure you've noticed a similarity
between our products and yours.
356
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,980
Sure did. Wendy,
can I speak with you for a moment?
357
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,065
[Wendy] Sure.
358
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,193
Why don't we go over to your booth?
359
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,612
It's so much quieter.
360
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:53,113
Okay.
361
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:58,368
Um, I don't wanna be the one
to have to tell you this,
362
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,662
but it's about your fiancé...
363
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,206
You know Brad?
364
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,876
-Who's Brad?
-My fiancé.
365
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,462
I thought you and Antonio were...
366
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:13,342
Oh, David... [laughs]
We're business partners.
367
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,761
Oh! Okay.
368
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,639
Well, that's gonna make this
a little easier.
369
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:21,725
Turns out Antonio is a common criminal.
370
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,769
-What?
-Stevie, give me the--
371
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,730
Look at this, please.
372
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,566
"100% moist liquid"?
373
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,612
Antonio said these were locally sourced.
374
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,823
Sure. If you consider
the dollar store local.
375
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,366
These sell for 99 cents.
376
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,993
Well, he's been charging me way more!
377
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,162
I'm so sorry you had to hear this.
378
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,331
No, David,
379
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,666
I'm glad you told me.
380
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:48,752
I was gonna go into business
with this person.
381
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,590
And I'm ashamed to say,
in my weaker moments...
382
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,719
I've been tempted
to cheat on poor, sweet Brad.
383
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,265
With Antonio?
384
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:06,311
Well, obviously, you picked up
on the intense heat between us
385
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,021
if you thought we were a couple.
386
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,024
Yeah. Wendy, for several reasons,
387
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,985
I think you need to say good-bye
to Antonio.
388
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,654
Oh. How am I gonna tell Brad?
389
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:22,327
He and Antonio are roommates.
They share this tiny one-bedroom together.
390
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:26,623
And it is so crowded in there, they had
to put their mirror on the ceiling.
391
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,085
Yeah. Best to shut all that down, I think.
392
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,587
David.
393
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,923
What would I do without you?
394
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,342
I literally don't know, Wendy.
395
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,678
[tuts]
396
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,930
You wanna get high?
397
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,892
-No, but thank you.
-Okay.
398
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:53,025
Okay. So, the delivery man came in,
used the bathroom,
399
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:57,988
somehow broke the sink, and then left
without actually delivering the package?
400
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,949
That is correct.
401
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,370
I just find it strange that he would then
leave a note saying, "Sorry I missed you."
402
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,458
Yeah. No... I think he meant,
like, sorry, I missed... you.
403
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,668
Because I was here the entire time.
404
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,795
And I actually think
that he was, like, a little bit drunk,
405
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,048
because he knocked over a lot of things.
406
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,549
And you were here for this?
407
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,509
Um, no...
408
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,221
Well, you were here for a part of it.
409
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,515
Right. But I got here late...
410
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,018
My grandmother passed away.
411
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:30,145
-Oh, God!
-It was a few years ago.
412
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,439
And it just been really tough to get over.
413
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,859
Mmm-hmm. Well, fortunately,
we had these security cameras installed,
414
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,986
so I guess I'll just show that
to the insurance people.
415
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,031
I don't really know how this works.
Patrick went to that seminar.
416
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,158
Oh. Um...
417
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,662
Honestly, I don't think
that you wanna do that.
418
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,916
You said that I could trust you.
419
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,795
First the Tamagotchis, now this?
Get out of my store.
420
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,713
Okay, fine. You can take
the money for the sink
421
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,382
out of what you were
going to pay me today.
422
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,676
I wasn't planning on paying you anything.
Get out!
423
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:03,595
You too. Very disappointed.
424
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,222
And if we're pointing fingers, David,
425
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,058
I've done it on a lot of sinks
and I've never had an issue.
426
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,685
When you say you've done it
on a lot of sinks--
427
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,186
-Out!
-[Alexis] Huh!
428
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,983
Ugh! I don't wanna touch this.
31823
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