All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S03E07.WEB-DL.NF.en

Okay, well, you could've
dropped me off back there.

Oh, don't be silly, honey.

We're happy to drive you
right to the front door.

Yeah, this is an iconic
moment in all of our lives,

and I think we should
experience it
to the fullest.

We're very proud
of you, Alexis.

Thank you.

Is that appropriate
attire for high school,
do you think?

-Well, what's wrong with it?
-Well...

Well, now you're making
me nervous!

Anyway, just don't
trust anyone

that wants to be your friend
on the first day, okay?

And you mustn't let anyone
push you around.

I will not relive that
bullying nightmare.

I wasn't bullied.

She doesn't mean you,
Alexis.

Uh, it wasn't that bad.

That's the heartbreaking
part. He was so
blissfully unaware.

-Ugh!
-Okay, I'm gonna go.

Okay, I think you're brave.

Well, that's very nice
of you to say, David.

-Okay, he's being sarcastic.
-What?

-Oh.
-It's a defence mechanism
from all that bullying.

Oh, my God!

[dog barks]

[sighs] I can't tell
what's more tragic,

the fact that the only store
in town is closing,
or that they've

decided to display
the fungal cream
beside the cereal boxes.

That's actually
really convenient

because I forgot
to have breakfast,

and I'm running low
on fungal cream, so--

I don't wanna hear
you say "fungal" again.

"Fungal"?

Yeah, it's like they knew
what the consumer wanted,

and then ran
in the opposite direction.

Finding everything okay?

Yes. Yeah.

It's sad about the store.

Thank you.
It's been very hard.

[whispering] Yeah,
I can imagine.

Yeah, they just missed
the mark, you know?

I mean, this store
in the right hands

could be very lucrative.

Uh, and by "the right
hands," you mean your hands?

Well, I mean, someone
with faultless taste

who understands what people
want and need,

and if those happen to be
my hands, then--

So why don't you do
something about it?

I'm pretty sure telling them
that they've driven
their store into the ground

might be rubbing salt
in the wound.

No, I'm saying

ever since you walked
in here,

you've been talking about

how you would've done things
differently,

so now's your chance.

Okay, your eyebrows
never move,

so I can't tell whether

you're being serious or not.

I think you should put
what little money you have
where your mouth is.

I do have a very good idea.

What you lack
in most things,

you make up for in
unsubstantiated confidence.

Okay, are we good to go?

Good morning, class. I'm
sure you have all noticed

there's a new student
in our midst.

Let's give a warm welcome
to Alexis Rose.

She is here until the end
of the semester
to finish her diploma.

[applauding]

Okay, so let's open
our books.

Oh, um, I'd just like
to say a few words.

Okay, we're actually just
running a little bit behind.

-Hey.
-Oh.

So as Jocelyn said,
my name is Alexis,

and, yes, I did not finish
high school.

Um, it's this long, boring
story involving a yacht

and a famous soccer player
and, like,

a ton of mushrooms.

Anyway, I think
it would be so great

if we could just
go around
the room,

and everyone
could tell me,
like,

five things
about
yourself.

[Jocelyn] Actually, we don't
have time for that today.

Maybe you could talk
between classes,

or after school,
or on the weekends.

-Yeah, totally.
-Yeah. Okay.

So just find me
after class, or...

Good morning, Twyla.
Sorry I'm late,
but I have morning muffins.

Oh, thanks, Ivan.

Yeah, they keep selling out.

Ivan!

-Bob's friend?
-Oh, yeah!

Johnny Rose, remember?

Bagels, I know, yes.

Yes, yes, yes, bagels.

Oh, I see you have
a new enterprise here.

Eh, it was always my dream
to bake muffins.

Well, funny you should
mention it

because I'm thinking of
doing a continental
breakfast at the motel,

and this could be,
uh, very helpful.

Yeah. I not make breakfast.

No, no, no,
a continental breakfast,

just pastries and coffee.

No coffee.

Oh, I wouldn't expect you
to make the coffee.

No, I make coffee,
but only for myself.

Yeah. No, no,
it's just your muffins
that I'm interested in.

I bake for Twyla.

Oh, but it's always nice
to have new customers.

Yes, yes, I think we should
talk about this, Ivan.

Yeah, I'd love to see
your operation.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
just come by my place,

and I show you kitchen.

Yes. [clears throat] Yeah.

Well, yeah, okay.

Good, yes.

-Yes, see you.
-Bye!

So long. [clears throat]

Wow, this could be
very exciting.

You know, a continental
breakfast could add
an extra star on our rating.

Oh, wow, so how many stars
would that give you?

One.

So, there are carols
playing, and it snows inside
all day long.

Gwen's gonna lose her mind!

-Shh! Shh! Shh!
-[footsteps approaching]

What now?

No need to terminate
your chitter-chatter
on our accounts.

You gonna tell them,
or should I?

Ladies, um, we have
some good news--

Christmas World,
moving into town.

Bob, okay, there's a way
to do these things,

and I'm the one who's
supposed to lead these
meetings, all right?

They wanna take over
the general store.

-Bob!
-I'm sorry!

It's just, you know,
it's big news.

And what on Earth
is a Christmas World?

They sell Christmas stuff
all year round.

But is this really
the kind of business
we want in this town?

You know, I have yet
to find an ornament in there

that I'd put on my tree,

and I heard
those little elves
they have running around,

they're actually
underage kids.

Ladies, if we don't
approve this,

then Christmas World
will take its fake snow,

and its all-you-can-drink
nog fountain to Elmdale.

Well, that makes
our decision easy.

Oh, Moira!

Moira, Moira, Moira.

A word to the wise, okay?

You don't vote
against Christmas.

It's huge business.

Tourist dollars!

Well, I'm not voting for it.

I'm inclined to side
with Veronica on this.

[groans]
All right, look guys,
this is a big decision.

Let's take a little time
to think about it.

It's...
It's Christmas World!

We don't wanna get
on their naughty list.

[laughs]

Oh.

This is where I bake.

I have three ovens.
Is tradition in my family.

We make vatrushka,
burek, gibanica,

and now I making, uh,
Danish eclair,

American-style toaster
popping tart.

Wow, that sounds
great, Ivan,

but I was thinking
cinnamon buns.

You know,
the smell of cinnamon
in the motel lobby. Mmm!

Mr Rose, for you,
I can make anything.

-Great.
-Blueberry bun,

butter tart,
blueberry butter tart
with raisin,

blueberry butter tart
with chips of chocolate--

Well, let's just stick
with cinnamon buns for now,

and if this works,
we'll take it from there.

And I'm giving you
special price.

Thank you.

Because you know Twyla.

Yes, I do.

I watch you make her laugh.

You watch me make her laugh?

-Mmm-hmm.
-Oh, so you...

You like Twyla.

Oh, well, you should, uh,

talk to her, I guess.

No, no, I can't.

I try, but when I speak,

is like many, many muffin
in my mouth.

You talk for me?

Oh, no, no, no.

I wouldn't be too
comfortable doing that, no.

You just say nice thing.

I'll give you cinnamon bun
for free.

You say, "He's a good man,
hard worker,
never hurt no one."

Well, I wouldn't lead
with that but, uh...

No, no, I think this is
better coming from you.

Hmm?

So, I have some news.

Oh, David, I'm not sure
I'm in the mood

to hear about another
sexual exploit.

I'm sorry.
Who is it this time?

I have actually been
thinking about going back
to work.

That's wonderful!

You've received an offer?

Um, it's more of a plan
for an idea

of a thing
that I will be working at.

Well, that sounds
less concrete,

but full of promise,
I'm sure.

I know you've been
moping about the motel
for some time now.

Mmm, decompressing.

Um, and from
that decompression

came the idea to start
my own business.

Hmm!

And just what is this
exciting new venture?

I plan to submit
a lease application

for the general store.

Ha! Oh! Can you imagine?

Not seizing
on this opportunity.

Well, I'll be investing
some of the money

I got from the Blouse Barn.

Mmm-hmm. Bold decision.

Especially since
the previous business
has gone under.

Dare I say,
the space might be cursed?

Okay, the general store
was a disaster.

And your plan is to raise
it from the ashes?

Well, that's a risky move
on the part
of your investors.

I don't have any investors.

It's just me.

Just you?

I am doing this
all on my own.

All on your own?

Yeah, I've actually given it
a lot of thought.

You have?

You're the one
that's been telling me
to get back to work!

-I did?
-Oh, my God!

What? I'm simply
asking questions.

No, you're not. You're just
repeating random things
that I've been saying!

Oh, far be it for me
to stand in your way

while you roll the dice
with your hard-earned
savings.

Thank you.

It's all you had to say.

[Ronnie] Who wants
a silver tree?

The only people who buy
silver trees
are serial killers,

and single men over 40,

and my cousin,
who is a single man over 40.

Oh, what a startling
little Tannenbaum!

To whom do we owe
our reciprocity
for this yuletide gift?

It says Christmas World
right on it.

Oh, I see!

Sometimes, the eyes
won't allow the brain
to see things at first.

Like the cultural
and economic benefits

of a seasonally
specific store.

Okay, what did
they send you?

Nothing, I assure you.

But when one considers
the alternatives--

Moira, are you
caving on this?

I'm just thinking out loud.

What if a young, independent
businessperson
were to step in?

I worry... One worries.

You worry.
Are they too naive

or overly coddled

or emotionally precious

to handle the rigour
of establishing a business?

Look, I, uh...

[chuckles]

I don't wanna pressure
anyone,

but, uh, Gwen did tell me

if I, uh... I don't get
Christmas World passed,

I shouldn't come home.

[laughs]

I shouldn't...
I shouldn't come home.

Okay, let's put it
to a vote, shall we?

All those in favour
of Christmas World?

[chuckles] Done!

Thank you, Moira!

[phone rings]

It's Gwen. [chuckles]

The woman has a sixth sense.

Hi, honey.
Are you sitting down?

Trust me. It's for the best.

It's happening! [laughs]

It's really happening!

[Jocelyn] So here's
the thing
about Marie Antoinette.

Even though I love
to eat cake,

I think I'd be pretty
annoyed with her myself.

I do see your hand up,
Alexis,

it's just that you probably
haven't had a chance
to catch up.

Okay, it's just that
she never actually said,

"Let them eat cake."

Um, well, that depends
on who you ask.

Hmm, well,
I asked Kirsten Dunst,

who played her in the movie.

Um, that line was actually
written years

before Marie Antoinette
allegedly said it.

And, um, Kirsten also
told me at the premiere

that she was jealous
of my bangs.

Thank you
for that contribution
to the discussion. Now--

My friends used
to call me Marie,

and that was mainly
because I was casually
seeing Prince Harry,

so there was a whole, like,
[gasps]

"Is she gonna be
a princess?" thing,

um, but it's also because
we were going through
this very dark phase

where we were just, like,
partying too hard.

[Jocelyn] Thank you
for your enthusiasm.

It's just that we have a lot
to cover here.

Girls?

What did I say about
passing notes in class?

I'll see you both
after school.

You know who else
passed notes?

This lady passed a lot
of secret notes

and eventually was killed.

Oh, hi. How are you?

-Very busy.
-How am I? Terrific!

Aside from the fact
that I caught wind

that Christmas World
was moving into
the general store.

Just when I thought that
the taste levels
in this town

were already scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

Oh! Tell me about it.

Hmm.

So you can imagine
my surprise when I found out

that the deciding factor
in all of this
was my own mother.

It seems extremely off brand

to support a disgusting
big box store like that.

[sighs]

David, sit, please.

I know you think
what I did was cruel,

but I was just
protecting you.

And I'd say
you'll understand one day,

but you don't
enjoy children,
so perhaps you won't.

Okay, protect me from what?

From yourself.

Your father and I
have not prepared you

for an undertaking
of this scope.

Okay, what about
all the galleries?

Those were all me.
I've run businesses before.

Never on your own,
and never without
a safety net.

I don't know how many times
I have to thank you
for the start-up money.

But I opened
those galleries myself.

And who do you think
bought all that art
and sold out all your shows?

Uh, my patrons.

And who do you think
bought all your patrons?

[groans]

So you're telling me
that my entire professional
career was a sham?

We helped you
because we could.

Now I realise
that might not have been

the best thing for you
or your autonomy, but--

Okay, well, now I guess
I'll never find out

if I could've succeeded
on my own.

David!

[door slams shut]

[door slams shut]

[door opening]

[Ivan] Hello, Mr Rose.

Cinnamon buns for you.

Oh, Ivan, thank you.

Oh! These smell amazing!

And I have muffins
for Twyla.

Ah.

Yeah, I'm going to talk
to her now.

-Good luck.
-Yeah.

Hmm.

-Hi, Ivan.
-Um...

Here's the muffins.

Goodbye.

[chuckles]

[whispering] Wow!

Mr Rose, I blow it.

Oh, well, there's always
tomorrow, Ivan.

No, no, don't...
All right, have a seat.

I always watch
romantic movies.

Got Mail.

When Harry Met Sally...

Smell of Woman.

Yeah, Ivan, you don't want
to be over-preparing,

-you know, for the--
-Hey, guys.

-What can I get you?
-I'm good man.

Okay, and--

I'll have the waffles.

And eggs.

Uh... Uh...

What does dog say
before the breakfast?

"Bun appetite."

"Bun appetite."

"Bun..."

"Bon appetit." I think
it's a dog bone joke.

[laughs]

"Bon appetit."

Eggs and waffles.

Hmm, yes.

Coming up.

-Yeah.
-I know.

Oh, well,

I think, uh, a little
quality control on this

-wouldn't hurt, huh?
-[laughs] Yeah. Yes.

[bell rings]

Hey, I think that we started
out on the wrong foot.

And, like, I totally get it.
There's a new girl in town,

and that can be super
intimidating,

but I just wanted
to let you know

that I'm actually
very approachable.

-Okay.
-Okay.

So why don't you just show
me what that note says?

-[door closes]
-Girls,

passing notes in class
is not only disruptive

to the whole student body--

I started it.

I passed the note
to Steph M. and Becky.

Alexis, if you're gonna be
in this class,

you are gonna have to learn
to be less disruptive.

Now let's see what
was so important.

That really isn't necessary,
Mrs Schitt.

"Alexis is too pretty,

"and everyone's talking
about the dress.

"So gorge."

Okay, I love that
you're so confident.

Mmm-hmm.

It's just that we're going
to have to focus
a little less on ourselves

and a little more
on the material.

Totally.

Okay.

I stole this dress
from Ashlee Simpson.

Or, like, she stole it
from me, and then
I stole it back. [laughs]

Do you wanna
have lunch tomorrow?

Sure.

I just find it
extremely violating.

Because your parents
threw money at you?

Yes!

They paid for everything.

It's like a form
of child abuse.

Don't quote me on this,

but it seems like
their intentions were good.

I mean, they didn't buy
all the good reviews
your galleries got.

Who's to say?

Yeah, I mean, they do give
me a small weekly stipend

for hanging out
with you, so...

[groans]

[door opens]

David, there you are.
I come bearing good news.

And what's that,
your friends
at Christmas World

are looking for
a deeply embittered,
mildly Hebraic-looking elf?

I thought you might
like to know

that council has agreed
to accept your application.

What about Christmas World?

I had a very
effective strategy
to change everyone's minds

that I ultimately
didn't get to use

because Christmas World
pulled out.

This is good news!

I mean, yeah, if someone
hadn't snuffed out

the last remaining embers
of my self-confidence.

Why don't you channel some
of that charming self-pity
into a business plan, okay?

Because the lease
is yours, David,
if you still want it.

Which he does.

If there's anyone
in this town

who might have the eye
to create something
truly beautiful,

it's you, David.

And me,
but in this case, you.

[sighs] Okay.

I will submit
my application.

There's cinnamon buns
in the lobby.

These are good.

I know. Where
are these from?

Yeah, I got those
for the motel.

They're supposed to be
for the guests!

Okay, well, they were
just sitting there.

Oh, they weren't just
sitting there, Alexis.

They're the product
of a lot of hard work.

-[door opens]
-[Moira] John?

-[door closes]
-In here, Moira.

There are cinnamon buns
in the lobby!

Oh, come on. Moira, Moira!

These are for
the continental breakfast
we're offering at the motel!

Continental breakfast?

-They're for the guests!
-How whimsical.

It's a start. It's a start.
It's a big step.

What exactly goes into
a continental breakfast?

It's a breakfast, David.

It's a light breakfast
with pastries and coffee.

What's continental
about that?

It's for business travellers
travelling the continent,

eating breakfast and

continental travelling.

That doesn't sound
even remotely correct.

Well, it's European, Moira.

So... Okay,
come on, seriously!

There's only one left?

I know. Stevie was eating
the other one.

Here, why don't you
have this, and I'll take
the big one.

It's all right.
I'll take care of it.

I guess it would
be wrong to serve
the guests day-olds.

You know this bun added
a star to our rating?

How many did we have before?

Not the point.