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1
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:04,839
(CRUNCHING)
2
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,597
Kids, it happens to be
our anniversary today,
3
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:17,267
so it might be a nice idea
if you wished your mother
a happy anniversary.
4
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,060
Okay, um...
5
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,814
What would you like us
to say?
6
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:25,484
Well, you could start
by saying,
"Happy anniversary".
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,946
Erm, okay, but why are
we wishing her
a happy anniversary?
8
00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:31,490
Isn't that something
that you two are supposed
to say to each other?
9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,826
Yeah, it's called being
courteous, honey.
10
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,244
You know,
the Bloomfield kids
used to throw their parents
11
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,746
an anniversary party
every year.
12
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,207
Mmm-hmm.
Erm, if we're truth telling,
13
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:43,961
the Bloomfields were always
a little too friendly
with one another.
14
00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:45,504
I just don't understand
what kind of family
15
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,715
-skinny dips together.
-(DOOR OPENS)
16
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,132
John, are you ready?
17
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,300
Yes, sweetheart.
18
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344
Happy anniversary!
19
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,681
Congratulations
on your ongoing love
for one another.
20
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,974
You did it!
21
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,600
Okay, kids, that's enough.
22
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,936
You sound like
the incestuous Bloomfields.
23
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,312
Have a blessed day.
24
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,991
(CLEARS THROAT)
Hello there, Roses!
25
00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:15,450
Hello there, you.
26
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,869
May we join you?
27
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,620
Oh, we just ordered to go.
28
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,206
Yeah, we're not staying,
we've got a million things
to do.
29
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,500
Oh, well, then,
I guess you don't want
30
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,293
your present then, huh?
31
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,004
(SNICKERS)
32
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,839
You wanna guess
what your present is?
33
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,132
-No, I do not.
-Dinner!
34
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,427
We're gifting you a dinner!
35
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,680
At the most exclusive eatery
in Elmdale.
36
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,724
-Oh.
-ROLAND: It's very hard
to get a table.
37
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,809
But, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
I pulled a few strings.
38
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,021
That sounds too good to...
What's the catch?
39
00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:45,439
No, there's no catch,
40
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,734
just every new
council member
gets a dinner, so...
41
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,111
Oh, how very civilised.
42
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,448
It is. Thank you, Roland.
We accept.
43
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,909
Terrific, so, uh, we'll pick
you up around 7:00.
44
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,078
-We?
-Yeah, we have a coupon.
45
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,204
Four entrees for the price
of three.
46
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,206
It expires soon, though.
47
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,292
(CHUCKLES)
It should be really fun,
you guys.
48
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,003
Yes, it will be fun.
49
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,337
Well, it would be fun,
50
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,215
if today were not
our anniversary.
51
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,635
-Yeah...
-Wow, happy anniversary!
52
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,470
Well, thank you, thank you.
53
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,014
You two are obviously
gonna want to spend tonight
54
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,642
-just the two of you, so...
-Yes, that was the plan.
55
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:22,726
-JOCELYN: Yeah.
-Oh.
56
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,352
Well, you know,
the coupon expires
57
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,064
-in three weeks, so...
-Okay, all right. Let it go.
58
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,649
You have fun, you guys!
59
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,025
-Okay.
-Okay?
60
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,027
-Bye-bye, now.
-JOCELYN: Bye!
61
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,447
Boy, that was a close call.
62
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,245
What are you doing
with that?
63
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,499
With what, this yearbook?
64
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,208
Could you put it back,
please?
65
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,253
Why would I put it back
66
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,464
when Stevie Budd was voted
67
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,633
"Most Likely to Get
The Guy"?
68
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,302
With that haircut?
69
00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:00,055
I'll have you know I was
very popular with the boys.
70
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,265
And the girls, it seems.
71
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,852
Wow, well, according
to the Internet,
72
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,813
you were "Mr Popular."
73
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,439
I will have you know that
that headshot
74
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,233
got me a two-episode arc
on a TV series.
75
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,401
What series?
76
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,779
Dateline.
77
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,196
I played a boy
78
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,366
who got abducted
from a grocery store.
79
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,118
-Wow.
-Yeah.
80
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,953
And the performance
was so riveting
81
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,873
people thought I actually
was the Valu-Mart victim.
82
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,666
(EXCLAIMS)
Bet that got you laid.
83
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,417
It did.
84
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,336
It really did.
85
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,676
You know, I am surprised
that you haven't asked me
to leave early today.
86
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,302
Are you telepathic
or something?
87
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,470
Because I have been
thinking about
88
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,557
asking you that question
every day this week.
89
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,892
I was just kidding.
90
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,645
Oh... No, yeah, me, too.
(CHUCKLES)
91
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,940
No, just with the big soiree
at Mutt's tonight,
92
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,442
I figured
that you would need
ample time to get ready.
93
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,362
Mutt's having a soiree?
94
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,198
Well, I'm sure
you're invited.
95
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,534
Yeah, no. Yeah, no,
why wouldn't I be?
96
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,661
Erm, were you invited?
97
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039
Yeah. Yeah.
I guess it's just...
98
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,750
Just a bit of a pride issue,
you know.
99
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:14,295
Do I attend the party
hosted by the guy
that you left me for?
100
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,256
Yeah, no, I'm sure
he wouldn't mind.
101
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,760
Yeah, but I really would
have to basically throw
102
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,387
all my self-respect
just right out the window.
103
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,264
-(SNICKERS)
-Mmm, that's so sweet.
104
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:27,101
So, erm, what time
is the party tonight?
105
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,105
-(CHUCKLES)
-Happy anniversary,
sweetheart.
106
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,648
Oh, darling,
what a sweet gesture,
107
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,194
and a precursor no doubt
to something more grand
planned.
108
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,488
Something more grand?
109
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,075
Ah, knowing your penchant
for surprises,
110
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,869
I'm guessing you have
something else
up your sleeve.
111
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,124
-Yes, I do.
-Uh-oh.
112
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,876
I do, I... (CLEARS THROAT)
113
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:57,214
...was going to tell you
later, but I booked
a restaurant in Elmdale,
114
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,340
it's supposed to be
very fancy.
115
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,510
The one that
Roland and Jocelyn
just told us about?
116
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,638
Yes! Yes, but...
117
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,807
Who knew they were
asking us tonight!
118
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,850
-Just the two of us?
-Mmm-hmm.
119
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,020
Sort of a Lady and the Tramp
meets 9 1/2 Weeks
120
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,396
kind of dinner date?
121
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,941
Could you for one second
believe that I would not
122
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,069
have planned something
for our anniversary
123
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,904
tonight?
124
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,115
Two of us?
125
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,290
(SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING)
126
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,460
Hi. Rose, party of two.
127
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,336
Yeah, we spoke on the phone
this afternoon.
128
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,131
You're lucky we had
that cancellation.
129
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,841
Yes, well,
lucky for someone.
130
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:44,803
We had a reservation
which I, of course,
made, uh,
131
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,387
weeks ago.
132
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,432
You always could swing
a good table
at the last minute, John.
133
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,060
Okay, it'll just be
a few minutes.
134
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,312
-Thank you.
-(WOMAN GASPS)
135
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,022
Moira?
136
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,356
-Bev?
-Don!
137
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:59,193
-Moira!
-Oh, my God, the Roses!
138
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,695
-You're alive!
-JOHNNY: Oh, my gosh!
139
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,322
Good to see you!
140
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,032
What? Don?
141
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,825
Oh, I don't believe it!
142
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,535
-(BEV KISSING)
-MOIRA: Don.
143
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,204
What are you two doing here?
144
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,122
Well, we were dropping
Mackenzie off at college
145
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,748
and decided we'd take
the scenic route home.
146
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,251
You must... They should...
You must join us!
147
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,502
Join us for dinner.
148
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,962
DON: That would be great!
BEV: Oh, yes!
149
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:22,549
We are just
dying to find out
what you've been up to.
150
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,260
-We're dying to tell you.
-(ALL LAUGH)
151
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,720
-BEV: Okay.
-Oh!
152
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,013
Aw...
153
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,474
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
154
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,652
Oh, I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
155
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,364
Oh, I wouldn't either,
but I couldn't find
a cocktail shaker,
156
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,407
and someone brought
room temperature vodka.
157
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,828
(CHUCKLES) No, I mean,
Mutt made those ice cubes
from well water,
158
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,997
so they smell
a little fishy.
159
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,790
Oh.
160
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,835
Yeah, wouldn't want that
melting in my drink,
thank you very much.
161
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,629
-I'm Jake.
-David.
162
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,257
It's nice to meet you,
handsome.
163
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,597
I'm...
164
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,766
I'm gonna...
So I'll just...
165
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,730
Wow! Look at you.
166
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,357
What's that
supposed to mean?
167
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:23,151
I've just never seen you
this dressed up before.
168
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,195
-I do what I want.
-Hmm.
169
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,948
And tonight I'm wanting
to meet someone.
170
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,074
-Mmm.
-So...
171
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,784
I have a certain
high school reputation
172
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,411
-I need to live up to.
-Mmm-hmm.
173
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,745
Yeah, and good luck
with that.
174
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,373
Erm, speaking
of sexual popularity,
175
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,083
I'm pretty sure that, erm,
176
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,752
that guy at the bar...
177
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,172
Is into me.
178
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,507
-Who, Jake?
-Yeah. Jake.
179
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:51,596
Why, was he one of your
high school conquests?
180
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,098
Actually, no.
181
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,475
But I have a pretty
stellar radar for being
able to tell
182
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,394
-when guys are into me.
-Mmm-hmm.
183
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:01,064
Erm, and having swam
in both ponds,
184
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,942
I can say that I might be
able to navigate
those waters
185
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,777
a little bit better
than you.
186
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,780
Mmm-hmm?
Well, we'll see.
187
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,906
Hmm.
188
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,127
(LAUGHTER)
189
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,046
So there we are
at Izzy Tennyson's
country home...
190
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,466
Oh, tell me
she doesn't still
have that stuffed bison.
191
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,009
Oh, does she have it?
192
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,428
She's moved it
to the front hall!
193
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:34,639
-What?
-Grier wanted to hang
her coat on the horns!
194
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,433
(ALL LAUGH)
195
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,768
And it gets better.
Don here...
196
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,312
Oh, wait now, don't throw me
under the bus,
197
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,688
it was Borden
who started it all.
198
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,564
Borden Simons?
199
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,942
-It's like old home week!
-(CHUCKLES)
200
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:49,237
Anyway, I look over,
201
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,449
and Don and Borden are
on their hands and knees
202
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,368
crawling through
the doggie door
203
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,286
-in the kitchen!
-(ALL LAUGHING)
204
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:59,456
It was too funny!
205
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:02,334
-You should've been there.
-Oh, wish we could've been.
206
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,669
-Maybe next time.
-Well, cheers to that.
207
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,921
ALL: Cheers.
208
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,257
Hey.
209
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,675
Hey, uh...
210
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,469
Johnny? Moira?
211
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,761
Oh, my God!
212
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,348
Er, what are you guys
doing here?
213
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,227
Well, we just ran
into each other.
214
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,520
It's their anniversary,
Roland,
215
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,188
just let them do
what they want.
216
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,814
It's your anniversary?
You should've told us.
217
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,149
We don't want to intrude.
218
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,985
No, you're not intruding,
this is a surprise treat.
219
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,406
Oh, okay, well, then,
are we intruding?
220
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,990
Because before
you were saying that
221
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,493
you didn't wanna
go out tonight, so...
222
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:40,080
No, no, we, er...
You can certainly join us
223
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,165
if you don't have
your own table.
224
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,042
We do, but
that would be great!
225
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,294
-Okay.
-Yes, well, then,
by all means,
226
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,463
yes, let's, er, let's...
227
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,215
Let's, uh, sit at one table.
228
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,509
JOCELYN: This is cosy.
Hello. Hi.
229
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,094
Good evening.
230
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,012
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
231
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,904
Wow. Look at you.
232
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,739
Is it weird that I'm here?
233
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,283
It's only weird if you think
it's weird.
234
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,743
Yeah. Okay.
I don't if you don't.
235
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,496
Erm, in fact, I don't
actually know how late
I can stay.
236
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:25,083
I just wanted to pop in
and say hey.
237
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,377
Well, you're awfully
dolled up for a "pop in".
238
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,630
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God, stop,
I basically came from work.
239
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,882
Babe, your stove's
being testy again.
240
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,342
Should I just serve
the cider cold?
241
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:38,096
Er... Alexis, this is, er,
242
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,889
my girlfriend, Tennessee.
243
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,476
Wow!
244
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,102
Wow. Wowee.
245
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,104
-(LAUGHS)
-Alexis, hi.
246
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,688
It's so nice to finally
meet you.
247
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,441
-Mutt's told me so much
about you.
-Mmm.
248
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,569
The way he describes you,
it's like you're this
249
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,112
beautiful little poem.
250
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,239
Well, love "little"!
(CHUCKLES)
251
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,367
Look at you!
You're like a poem, too.
252
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,829
Like a really pretty poem,
or like...
253
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,582
A mermaid, or something.
254
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,167
Mutt, you're growing back
your beard.
255
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,961
Yeah, she likes it.
256
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,754
Okay.
257
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:17,177
Erm, hey, er,
I'm gonna go grab a drink.
258
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,720
But, erm, it was so nice
to finally meet you,
259
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,348
Tallahassee, so...
260
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,974
It's, er, Tennessee.
261
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,769
Yes, Tennessee.
I love that name,
it's so unique.
262
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,313
Erm, thank God you look
the way you do,
263
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,482
because that name on
the wrong girl would just...
264
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,150
Ooh! So...
265
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,152
You should feel really good
about yourself.
266
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,531
She's cute.
267
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,867
You guys haven't
ordered yet, have you?
268
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,828
'Cause I need to present
this coupon
to the waiter first.
269
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,748
Don't know what that means.
270
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,252
-He's so ironic, this one.
-Oh! (LAUGHS)
271
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,047
So where are you
living now, Moira?
272
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,590
Tell us all about it.
273
00:11:55,632 --> 00:12:01,304
Oh, we're in a rustic,
ranch style bungalow
274
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,805
that...
275
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,182
JOCELYN: It's very nice.
276
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,101
Very nice, it's got
plenty of parking,
277
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,396
and, uh, TV in every room.
278
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,272
DON: Oh.
How many bedrooms?
279
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,483
-Ten.
-Ten bedrooms?
280
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:16,611
Yeah, well, we don't use
all the bedrooms.
281
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,072
That must be a nightmare
to clean.
282
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,241
Erm, Stevie does
an adequate job.
283
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,159
-Stevie's one of your staff?
-Mmm-hmm.
284
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,495
(LAUGHS)
Stevie's the only staff.
285
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,456
JOCELYN:
This olive tapenade is...
286
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,417
Salty. I know!
287
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,420
Is it? I thought
it was good,
but, yeah, it's salty.
288
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,631
-(JOCELYN CLEARS THROAT)
-BEV: Here's a funny story.
289
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,965
Oh, good.
290
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,052
On our way here,
we drove through a town,
291
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,304
not a word of a lie,
called...
292
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,474
-Schittstown!
-(LAUGHS)
293
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,018
No, it was called
Schittsville!
294
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,895
-Schittsville!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
295
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,274
And from the looks of it,
the town was living up
to its name!
296
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,901
Let's not go
for the low-hanging
fruit here, Don.
297
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,486
Okay?
298
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,572
No, these are funny jokes.
299
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,240
Please continue, Don.
300
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,951
You see, Roland gets it!
(LAUGHING)
301
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,373
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
302
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,796
You know, I'm actually
having more fun
303
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:18,923
at this party
than I thought I would.
304
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,009
How did you do it?
305
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,345
Well, I started by drinking
all four of those
306
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,013
peach schnapps
that you left
in my fridge...
307
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,976
No, I mean, you seemed
so cool about everything
after we broke up.
308
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,352
It was almost annoying.
309
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,812
Cool?
310
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,523
Alexis...
311
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,318
I couldn't stop crying.
312
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,236
I was scaring
all the animals at work.
313
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,614
But...
314
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:48,244
When I had to go
on our honeymoon
without you,
315
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:52,290
the zip-line instructor
at the Los Passions
Couples Resort told me
316
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,459
that I just gotta get
through it.
317
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,755
Meaning my fear of heights,
which I did get through.
318
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,089
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
319
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,509
But with you, it just...
320
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,094
It took a little longer.
321
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:09,015
I'm sorry.
322
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,058
It's okay.
323
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,272
Staff dance?
324
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,274
Yes.
325
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,829
-Mmm!
-Hmm?
326
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,789
I thought I was
shame-eating in private.
327
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,124
What is "shame eating"?
328
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,959
I don't think we have
enough time
for that tonight.
329
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,088
Are you looking for someone?
330
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,383
No, yeah, I mean, sorry,
I'm just...
331
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,385
I lost my friend
who should...
332
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:48,346
Be around here somewhere,
erm, watching this, so...
333
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,056
Are you here with Stevie?
334
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,183
I am. Yeah.
335
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,768
-Okay.
-Not here "with".
336
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,936
No, we're not together,
I'm very much single, so...
337
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,271
You wanna get some air?
338
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,358
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
339
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,735
Mmm! Mmm-hmm.
340
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,237
Yeah.
341
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,450
Who do you have
to kill around here
342
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,328
to get another bottle
of this undrinkable wine?
343
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,955
I think it's good.
344
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,667
I ordered the one
with the highest
alcohol content.
345
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,794
What do you do, Roland?
346
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:23,297
Something in agriculture,
by the looks of it?
347
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,551
Roland is actually
the mayor of our town.
348
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,886
BEV AND DON: Oh!
349
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,555
-Not Schittsville, I hope!
-(BEV AND DON LAUGH)
350
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,974
What do you even call
someone from Schittsville?
351
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,436
A Schitter? A Schitthead?
352
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,146
-Okay, you know what?
-John, John.
353
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,982
Don't worry, Moira, I won't
say anything untoward.
354
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,317
We're just having fun, John.
355
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,152
And I thought we were
having fun, Bev,
356
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,404
but you know what,
we're not.
357
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,823
Oh, come on,
it's just a joke!
358
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:52,118
No, Don, here's the joke.
359
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:55,496
The joke is I'm sitting here
in a half-decent restaurant
360
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,666
with my wife
and our friends.
361
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,963
And all you two have done
is complain about the food,
362
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:08,968
and pretend that you didn't
leave us high and dry
after we lost everything.
363
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,720
Oh, we're past all that now.
364
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:12,388
I'm not quite past it,
Moira.
365
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,683
You wrote us off, Don.
366
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,102
Not a phone call,
367
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,521
not an e-mail,
368
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,690
not a nickel.
369
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,111
Roland and Jocelyn here
370
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,947
could not have been
more generous
371
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,574
with what little they have.
372
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,703
They found us
a place to live,
373
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:39,165
they've offered us
their truck whenever
we've needed it.
374
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:42,627
They've invited us
to their parties,
375
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,923
they even offered to take us
out to dinner tonight.
376
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,675
Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
Just to be clear, Johnny,
377
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,176
we were always gonna split
the bill,
378
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,178
-it's just
with the coupon...
-JOCELYN: Rollie, Rollie.
379
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,849
(CHUCKLES)
380
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,894
And that town
you passed through,
381
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,104
it's not called
Schittsville.
382
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,815
It's called Schitt's Creek.
383
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,359
And it's where we live.
384
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:23,376
So, Jake, erm,
do you drink red wine,
or white wine?
385
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,294
I don't really drink wine.
386
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,587
I'm more of a beer guy.
387
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,047
Right. Yeah.
388
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,675
That doesn't help me much.
Erm...
389
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,219
-Well, I better get going.
-(CLEARS THROAT)
390
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,388
I've gotta get to the shop
early tomorrow morning, so.
391
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,931
Oh, you work
retail as well?
392
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,309
No, no. The wood shop.
393
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,811
-I make furniture.
-Ah.
394
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:44,063
Yeah. No, I did
a lot of, erm...
395
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,857
I did a lot of wood-working
in high school.
396
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,859
-Oh.
-Yeah, er, Christie McFadden
397
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,779
accidentally nailed her hand
to her paper towel holder
so that's...
398
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,240
The lesson is
just not to nail stuff...
399
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,247
You know, I'm a pretty
open-minded guy.
400
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,958
So, why don't you stop
by the shop sometime?
401
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,586
Okay.
402
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,212
-Good night.
-Good night.
403
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,761
I knew it.
404
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,808
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
405
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,605
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
406
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,773
Er...
407
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,026
Where were you?
408
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,737
Where were you?
409
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,655
Some townies were trying
to get us high,
410
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,950
and we didn't want
to offend them,
411
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,577
because they're doing
so well in life.
412
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,455
Didn't want to
burn a bridge.
413
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,625
-Actually, those boys did
burn a bridge last summer.
-(CHUCKLES)
414
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,586
Luckily, they don't get
as bored as they used to.
415
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,588
Okay. Erm...
416
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,549
So Jake is into me.
417
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,469
Is he?
418
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,388
-Yeah.
-What makes you think that?
419
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,059
Because we just necked
out behind the barn.
420
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,855
Seriously, what makes you
think that?
421
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,234
Because we put
our mouths together,
422
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,695
out behind the barn.
423
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,782
Just so you know,
I kissed him, too.
424
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,452
Well, that didn't happen.
425
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,746
Who's to say?
426
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,041
Well, when would you have
had time to do that?
427
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,920
Did he invite you
to his wood shop?
428
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,672
Sorry, that came out wrong.
429
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,178
(SLOW ROCK SONG PLAYING)
430
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,060
Smells like grass in here.
431
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,480
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!
432
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:55,028
Okay, this is not okay.
What are you guys
doing here?
433
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,696
(SHUSHING)
434
00:19:56,737 --> 00:20:00,366
Alexis, for once
in your life, shh...
435
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,409
I don't care
what snarky remarks
436
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,411
you kids are gonna make
under your breath,
437
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,123
tonight we are dancing
as a family.
438
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,666
What is happening?
439
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,009
Do you know
your father and I
440
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,344
hold great affection
for the two of you?
441
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,723
It may not always
be obvious, but...
442
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,183
Just say it, Moira.
443
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,769
We love you both very much.
444
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,354
Love you, too.
445
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,776
Love you, too.
446
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,611
(GASPS)
447
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,113
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
30141
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