All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S02E11.WEB-DL.NF.en

Oh, there's a woman in here

who couldn't afford
a Persian rug,

so she painted one
on her tiled floor.

And the magazine is
celebrating her ingenuity.

Well, it sounds like
a creative solution.

A creative solution
would be a lobotomy

to make one forget
they like nice things.

It's all so bleak.

Good night, John.

Sleep well, sweetheart.

(MELISSA MANCHESTER'S
DON'T CRY OUT LOUD PLAYING)

♪ Don't cry out loud

♪ Just keep it inside ♪

David, could you turn
that down, please?

DAVID: As if you think
that's what I listen to.

David, Alexis,
turn the music down!

It's coming from
the other side.

What?

♪ We almost had it all

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

Could you turn the music
down, please?

♪ Just keep it inside

♪ And learn how to hide
your feelings ♪

Hello?

We're trying
to sleep in here!

ALEXIS: Stop yelling.

I'm trying to turn
the music down!

DAVID: Can you stop
banging on the wall?

David, stop yelling
at your father!

Hello?

ALEXIS:
Why is everybody screaming?

Alexis, enough!

The music's too loud!

DAVID: Then get them
to turn it down!

Well, that's what
I'm trying to do!

(ANGUISHED SCREAM)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

MOIRA: (SIGHS) John.

John!

John, do you have any idea

what a terrible night's
sleep does to one's face?

What, you couldn't sleep?

How could I sleep
with that noise?

What noise?
They turned it off.

No, you just fell asleep,

and stayed asleep with no
regard for my well-being.

Now my eyes are puffy.
Are they puffy?

No, they look like they
usually look, Moira.

So now my eyes
are usually puffy.

Oh, Moira, they're fine.

These bags are like
gypsy caravans,

packed to the brim.

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

Oh, my God.
This can't be happening.

All right.
I'll take care of it.

♪ Learn how to hide
your feelings

♪ Fly high and proud ♪

Could you turn the
music down, please?

My wife hasn't
slept all night.

(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)

Oh! Hey, Johnny.

-Roland.
-Hey, uh...

-Yeah.
-What are you doing here?

Well, we're doing some renos
on the, uh, house,

so we're gonna shack up here
until they're all done.

Um, honey, don't hog all
the hot water, okay?

-Thank you.
-Jocelyn's here?

(STAMMERING)
Yeah, no, Johnny's here.

Yeah, yes, I will say hi
to him for you.

Jocelyn says hi, John.

You didn't hear us
last night?

-Nope.
-Banging away?

Pal, whatever you and
the missus do after hours,

that's your business,
not mine.

On the walls, Roland,
with our fists.

And if you're into
that kind of stuff,

that doesn't
bother me at all.

-That is fine.
-All right, stop, stop.

-What? Oh.
-Stop it.
What are you doing here?

I told you,
our basement flooded.

You said, "Renovations."

Yes, renovations, because
our basement flooded.

What? Yes, you're
absolutely right, honey,

it is time that we asked
Johnny to leave.

So, Johnny,
I think you should...

Is Jocelyn really here?

(LAUGHING) Did you
hear that, sweetheart?

He doesn't think
you're really here.

Would you please tell him?

Thank you. Satisfied?

-Jocelyn?
-Okay, look, Johnny,

unless you have
a warrant, okay?

Jocelyn and I are gonna be
shutting our door now.

-Jocelyn?
-Okay, that's fine.

So you think Jocelyn's
at the root of this?

Yeah, well,
I think obviously they...

They had a fight, Moira.

You know, I just don't know
how she puts up with him.

And now he's
living next door.

I've never pretended
to like this motel,

but at least it provided
a buffer between us,
and those people.

Yeah.

How long do you think
he'll be here?

Well, I hate to think.

Oh, God, this is the last
thing we need, John.

We're barely hanging on
as it is.

Well, what does
that mean, Moira?

"We're barely hanging on?"

I mean, living in
a space this limited,

is trying enough
on a marriage

without having Roland
wallowing next door.

This is going to bring us
to a breaking point.

Oh, Moira,
it's not gonna bring us
to the breaking point.

I think we've
done an amazing job
since we've been here.

I mean, I barely remember
an argument between us.

That's my point.

In a room this tiny,
we've just got to ignore

the little irritants
of the other,

or you'd go insane.

Little irritants?
What, uh...

What little irritants?
I have little irritants?

Yes, we all do.

Peccadilloes,
cloying habits.

Like what, for instance?

All right, John. I...

I drink a little too much
tea sometimes.

And that's it for you?
You, uh...

You drink tea?

Well, it calms me,

so I suppose you would say
that's because I'm inclined
to get nervous or insecure.

No,
I would say you're sometimes
a little defensive,

and, uh, perhaps
a tad paranoid.

That would only be
after you've taken

that condescending
father tone with me.

-Father tone?
-There it is.

You think I have
a father tone?

John, I wish you could
hear yourself talk.

But of course, you never do.

And that's the other thing
I guess.

I never listen to myself?

Look, it's by not engaging
in this kind of tit-for-tat

that we keep our
marriage afloat.

And you have no faults
other than drinking tea?

John, I just admitted
that I can get
a little defensive.

But only when you act
like a big child.

I act like a child?

Yes, John, and now is
not the time for you
to throw one of your tantrums.

Moira, of the two of us,

I'm not the one
who throws tantrums.

I will not engage.

I do not want to see him
get the better of us.

And I'm sorry, obviously
this has worked you up

into some kind of
fit of pique.

Okay, you know what?

I need some air.

That's another thing,
Mr Rose,

you never
finish your fights.

Oh, this one's finished.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Stevie, you look like

you would know
about affordable housing.

Is this legit?

It's an ad for an apartment.

I know, it's cute though,
right?

I wouldn't really
describe any apartment
as cute in this town.

Hi.

Um, hi.

There's a collection
of undershirts

hang drying
outside of my room.

Um, is there any way
they could be removed,

or is there like,
a Texas Chainsaw movie

being filmed out there
that I'm not aware of?

Actually, Roland is staying
here for a few days.

-Ew.
-That's disgusting.

What's going on over here?
Let me see that. What is this?

Charming studio apartment
for rent in Lower SC.

What's Lower SC?

I thought this town
was just one long street.

I'm thinking about
getting a place.

I have some money coming in,
and it's just...

It's not really a cute look
to be this age
and live at home.

No offence, David.

Okay, it's not like I have
a lot of say in the matter.

Okay, well, you're
a full-grown man,

who's much older than me,
living at home.

So it's just a little bit
embarrassing.

Mmm, available immediately.

I wonder if you could
move out tonight?

Uh, no, because I'm gonna be
using my half of the room as
a guest bedroom.

Oh, better yet,
you could sublet it.

I'm sure there's
plenty of vagrants

looking for temporary housing.

Speaking of which, David,
I'm gonna need you to come

and look at the
apartment with me.

(IMITATING ALEXIS)
"Okay, why would I do that?"

Because, David, as an
attractive, single female,

I don't feel
comfortable going to look
at an apartment by myself.

Well, what if the person
who's showing
you the apartment

is like, a super-cute
single real estate guy?

Mmm, that person doesn't
exist in this town.

Okay, well,
if that's the case,

then David, you have
to come with me.

And if I like the place,

then you can
have the whole motel
room to yourself, okay?

Okay. She's nuts.

Um,
if you could just figure out
the undershirt situation,

there's just so many of them,
and it's a lot for me.

-Bye.
-You know, for my eyes.

Mmm-hmm.

(JOHNNY SIGHS HEAVILY)

-Hey, Johnny.
-Oh, Jocelyn. Hi.

-How are you?
-Fine, thank you.

-Really?
-Yes.

I couldn't help but notice
that you seemed a little
sad sack-y today.

Sad sack-y?

Well, maybe that's because
your husband is occupying

the room next to us
at the motel.

I thought he might
end up there.

That's where we had
our honeymoon.

Had a lot of great times
in that room.

I don't think
this is one of them.

He was playing
Don't Cry Out Loud

loud at 2:00 in the morning.

I'm so sorry.

That's our wedding song.

It was actually the first song
that we ever made...

Okay, I really don't need
the details on that.

Listen, I would ask you
to sit, but I am not...

Absolutely, yes.

So...

You two are going through
a little bit of a thing?

We had a tiff, and, uh,

I just said,
I need some space.

Well, I'm glad
you have your space,

and I'm glad Roland
has his space.

I'll tell you who's
now having a major
problem with their space.

Okay, Johnny.
Sometimes it's a lot
easier to blame others

than it is to maybe
kinda turn it inwards
on ourselves, isn't it?

Meaning...

Well, it's kinda obvious
that you and Moira

are a little bit rocky
right now.

No, no, things
are not rocky.

Things are not rocky,
and if they are,

it's because your husband
is driving us...

So you're telling me
that there are no issues
between you two right now?

No. No. No issues.

Well, by issues,
If you mean peccadilloes,

-if you mean little irritants.
-Mmm-hmm.

Maybe.

-Uh-huh.
-But, uh, no, we're...

-We're good.
-Good.

Right this way.

As you can see,
it's light and breezy.

And by breezy,
I mean, there's a slight,
but steady draught

I'm told you only notice
in the winter. (CHUCKLES)

This is so cute for me.

Oh, and there's a lovely
window here

through which you can see
all of the town.

The cafe, the garage,

a tree of some kind
just, uh, over there.

This is cute, right?

I think this is super-cute.

(IMITATES ALEXIS)
"Wait, is it cute?"

'Cause I know that it's light,
and spacious and airy in here,

but I just wasn't sure
if it was cute.

Oh, it's cute.

Are these original mouldings?

Yes, but we can
rip those out.

Okay,
well, I'm the one that should
be asking the questions.

Okay, be my guest.

Okay, so...

When does, um...

Is this
a functioning fireplace?

Yes, we found an incinerated
squirrel carcass
there last week.

Um, what are you
doing, David?

You wanted my help,
so I'm helping.

-Mmm, okay.
-What's the rent?

Uh, they want $275, but
I think they're dreaming.

-A week?
-No, no, no, a month.

But again, I think we can
talk them down.

Wait, $275 a month for this?

That's cheaper than
my PO Box in New York.

Do you think I should take it?

Well, I mean, it is...
It is very old.

I think that I would like
to see the lease agreement.

I thought you'd never ask.

Oh, you know, it actually kind
of reminds me of your old, um,

office space that you had
in the West Village.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Remember?

-Yep.
-So cute.

JOCELYN: You know what
I think brought all this on?

That darn election.

It's really hard on couples.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
I really appreciate

how involved Roland
wants to be in my campaign.

It's just that, sometimes,
he can be so...

-Irritating?
-No.

-Obnoxious?
-I was gonna say sensitive.

Oh, sensitive.

Especially when I
want to do something
on my own.

Oh. Do you really
think he's obnoxious
and irritating?

No. No, no, no,
I was just trying to imagine

what you know,
you were feeling.

Well, I feel frustrated a lot.

You know,
you try to have a rational
conversation with him,

and he just gets all, like,
stubborn and selfish.

And then he acts like
you're the one
behaving like a child.

-Exactly.
-Right? Yeah, exactly.

Words get used
and twisted around,

and yet,
he uses that against you.

Yes, that is so Roland.

And you get the reputation
for being hot-headed,

and he gets to push
every button he can.

You are so right.

You know,
I thought that I might
be ready to forgive him,

but I think he needs a couple
more nights at that motel.

But, on the other hand,

maybe it's through
your forgiveness

that you teach him a lesson.

Right, and the sooner
you forgive him,

then the better
it's gonna be for you.

-♪ Don't cry out loud ♪
-Roland!

-Roland!
-(MUSIC STOPS)

ROLAND: Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. Moira, this isn't
a good time, um...

Jocelyn and I are about
to make brunch.

You can give up the act.

You and I need to talk.

Close the door,
honey, will you?

You're lettin' my flies out.

-(GROANS)
-(COUGHS)

Ugh. It's time for you
to go home and apologise.

Oh, okay.

I'll do that. Um...

Just one question.
Where's Johnny?

I imagine he's at work.

Because he seemed
pretty angry this morning.

I don't know. Maybe you need
to go home and apologise.

(LAUGHS)

Sorry, sweetheart.
These walls are pretty thin.

Oh, yes, I know.

The only reason
John and I had words

is because we were exhausted

from being
kept up all night.

It seems someone in the motel
was playing loud
music until 4:00 A.M.

I'm sorry,
are you complaining

about the quality
of the free lodging

that I arranged for you
this past year?

I think we're a very
courteous guest, Roland,

and have tried to
contribute to this town

in whatever way we could.

This town,
which is, quite frankly,
woefully mismanaged.

Oh, ugh, ew. I hate that!

Ugh! That is just
the kind of arrogance
that I can't stand.

You come in here and you think
you know everything.

Ooh. Oh!

No, but I think if I was
in your position,

I would be open
to new ideas.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Right. Of course you would.
Sure.

-I would.
-(LAUGHS) Yeah.

(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
"Hello, everyone.

"I'm Moira Rose,
and I know famous people,

"so I really can't talk
to the common folk.

"Excuse me, all.
Coming through."

So I'm assuming this place
comes fully furnished?

(LAUGHING)

No, this is all
completely staged.

Hmm, it must be very expensive
to furnish a place like this.

Not really, if you get it
second hand.

Or, uh, maybe you get up
early on Tuesdays,

which is garbage day,
and find
a discarded couch or sofa.

Mmm-hmm.
Um, well, you know what,

I don't even really need
that much stuff.

I kinda like the minimalist
look anyway, so...

DAVID: It's very quiet
in here, Ray.

It's, like,
alarmingly quiet.

The apartment was soundproofed
by the previous owner.

But the irony is
the people next door
are completely deaf,

so you could literally
scream for hours,

and no one would hear you.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

Did you hear that?

You could scream for hours
and no one would hear you.

Okay, well, think about
how much fun that will be
for parties, David.

Um, and what about parking?

Okay, you don't even
have a car.

Oh, my God, if you want
the place so badly, David,

why don't you just say it?

-Who says I want it?
-So you don't want it?

-No.
-So if I said that I
didn't want the place,

you wouldn't...
You wouldn't want it?

Okay, so you don't
want the place?

Okay,
I'm just trying to figure out
if you want the place.

Oh, okay, okay.
I think I know what all
the hesitation is about.

Yes, someone did take their
own life in this space,

but the good news is,
we've replaced
the ceiling fan,

it's now a break-away model.

And to answer your question,
yes, there is parking.

Uh, oh, and they
also allow cats.

(DAVID CLEARS HIS THROAT)

Oh? Oh? You wanna
drop the gloves?

Let's drop the gloves,
Roland.

You are
an emotionally stunted,

self-absorbed man-child.

You lord this counterfeit
power of yours over others
like a schoolyard bully.

Okay, well, you're
a phoney-baloney blowhard,

who's desperately scared
of being thought of
as a regular person.

I used to be
a regular person.

You're just a stuck-up
pencil skirt with
clown makeup,

and a janitor's mop
on your head.

You are an inexplicably
cocky imbecile!

Your marriage
is as blighted as this town,

and you have no one to blame
but yourself.

-Whoa!
-Oh.

-Well, hold on.
-I went too far.

-Yeah.
-Well...

-Well, I mean, come on.
-In the spirit of things.

Yeah, but still,
that was kind
of over the line.

I like Jocelyn,

and I know you two have
a very special relationship.

Well, we...
I mean,
we have our differences.

Oh, God, who doesn't?

I was just riffing.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES SOFTLY)

John?

Oh, sweetheart,
I didn't mean to wake you.

Don't hear any
music next door.

No, I think he tuckered
himself out.

Oh, well, that's good,
that's good.

I suppose he just needed
to spout off for a while.

Yeah, well, Jocelyn
will be glad to hear that.

She just came by
to pick him up.

-Really?
-Yeah.

I think she just needed
some alone time,

you know, to clear her head.

That's understandable.

JOHNNY: Hmm.

It's unfortunate
they can't communicate
those needs to each other.

Yeah, well, they don't have
what we have.

I can't argue with that.

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

I thought you said Jocelyn
came back to make up!

She did.

That happens to be
their wedding song.

Just admit that
you wanted the place.

I was just asking questions

to help you make
the right decision.

Well, you're
a terrible liar, David.

It's a pretty
good deal, though.

Seriously though,
would you wanna
live in a house

where someone
killed themselves?

I can almost guarantee you
that someone's killed
themselves in this room.

Ew, David.

-Okay, good night.
-Good night.

Ugh.

You know, sometimes at night,
I see things.

Oh, my God, David.

Yeah, yeah.
Like, dark things.

Like, sometimes, there's
this old woman that
paces back and forth

by your bed, waving her
hands over your face.

I don't think her
bony fingers ever touch
your mouth, though.

(GASPS) Mom?

Do you ever wake up
with chapped lips?

Dad!

(WHISPERS) Dad's dead.

Oh, you're such
a dick, David!

(GROANING)

Stop!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)