Original subtitles

Oh, there's a woman in here

who couldn't afford a Persian rug,

so she painted one on her tiled floor.

And the magazine is celebrating her ingenuity.

Well, it sounds like a creative solution.

A creative solution would be a lobotomy

to make one forget they like nice things.

It's all so bleak.

Good night, John.

Sleep well, sweetheart.

(MELISSA MANCHESTER'S DON'T CRY OUT LOUD PLAYING)

♪ Don't cry out loud

♪ Just keep it inside ♪

David, could you turn that down, please?

DAVID: As if you think that's what I listen to.

David, Alexis, turn the music down!

It's coming from the other side.

What?

♪ We almost had it all

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

Could you turn the music down, please?

♪ Just keep it inside

♪ And learn how to hide your feelings ♪

Hello?

We're trying to sleep in here!

ALEXIS: Stop yelling.

I'm trying to turn the music down!

DAVID: Can you stop banging on the wall?

David, stop yelling at your father!

Hello?

ALEXIS: Why is everybody screaming?

Alexis, enough!

The music's too loud!

DAVID: Then get them to turn it down!

Well, that's what I'm trying to do!

(ANGUISHED SCREAM)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

MOIRA: (SIGHS) John.

John!

John, do you have any idea

what a terrible night's sleep does to one's face?

What, you couldn't sleep?

How could I sleep with that noise?

What noise? They turned it off.

No, you just fell asleep,

and stayed asleep with no regard for my well-being.

Now my eyes are puffy. Are they puffy?

No, they look like they usually look, Moira.

So now my eyes are usually puffy.

Oh, Moira, they're fine.

These bags are like gypsy caravans,

packed to the brim.

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

Oh, my God. This can't be happening.

All right. I'll take care of it.

♪ Learn how to hide your feelings

♪ Fly high and proud ♪

Could you turn the music down, please?

My wife hasn't slept all night.

(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)

Oh! Hey, Johnny.

-Roland. -Hey, uh...

-Yeah. -What are you doing here?

Well, we're doing some renos on the, uh, house,

so we're gonna shack up here until they're all done.

Um, honey, don't hog all the hot water, okay?

-Thank you. -Jocelyn's here?

(STAMMERING) Yeah, no, Johnny's here.

Yeah, yes, I will say hi to him for you.

Jocelyn says hi, John.

You didn't hear us last night?

-Nope. -Banging away?

Pal, whatever you and the missus do after hours,

that's your business, not mine.

On the walls, Roland, with our fists.

And if you're into that kind of stuff,

that doesn't bother me at all.

-That is fine. -All right, stop, stop.

-What? Oh. -Stop it. What are you doing here?

I told you, our basement flooded.

You said, "Renovations."

Yes, renovations, because our basement flooded.

What? Yes, you're absolutely right, honey,

it is time that we asked Johnny to leave.

So, Johnny, I think you should...

Is Jocelyn really here?

(LAUGHING) Did you hear that, sweetheart?

He doesn't think you're really here.

Would you please tell him?

Thank you. Satisfied?

-Jocelyn? -Okay, look, Johnny,

unless you have a warrant, okay?

Jocelyn and I are gonna be shutting our door now.

-Jocelyn? -Okay, that's fine.

So you think Jocelyn's at the root of this?

Yeah, well, I think obviously they...

They had a fight, Moira.

You know, I just don't know how she puts up with him.

And now he's living next door.

I've never pretended to like this motel,

but at least it provided a buffer between us, and those people.

Yeah.

How long do you think he'll be here?

Well, I hate to think.

Oh, God, this is the last thing we need, John.

We're barely hanging on as it is.

Well, what does that mean, Moira?

"We're barely hanging on?"

I mean, living in a space this limited,

is trying enough on a marriage

without having Roland wallowing next door.

This is going to bring us to a breaking point.

Oh, Moira, it's not gonna bring us to the breaking point.

I think we've done an amazing job since we've been here.

I mean, I barely remember an argument between us.

That's my point.

In a room this tiny, we've just got to ignore

the little irritants of the other,

or you'd go insane.

Little irritants? What, uh...

What little irritants? I have little irritants?

Yes, we all do.

Peccadilloes, cloying habits.

Like what, for instance?

All right, John. I...

I drink a little too much tea sometimes.

And that's it for you? You, uh...

You drink tea?

Well, it calms me,

so I suppose you would say that's because I'm inclined to get nervous or insecure.

No, I would say you're sometimes a little defensive,

and, uh, perhaps a tad paranoid.

That would only be after you've taken

that condescending father tone with me.

-Father tone? -There it is.

You think I have a father tone?

John, I wish you could hear yourself talk.

But of course, you never do.

And that's the other thing I guess.

I never listen to myself?

Look, it's by not engaging in this kind of tit-for-tat

that we keep our marriage afloat.

And you have no faults other than drinking tea?

John, I just admitted that I can get a little defensive.

But only when you act like a big child.

I act like a child?

Yes, John, and now is not the time for you to throw one of your tantrums.

Moira, of the two of us,

I'm not the one who throws tantrums.

I will not engage.

I do not want to see him get the better of us.

And I'm sorry, obviously this has worked you up

into some kind of fit of pique.

Okay, you know what?

I need some air.

That's another thing, Mr Rose,

you never finish your fights.

Oh, this one's finished.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Stevie, you look like

you would know about affordable housing.

Is this legit?

It's an ad for an apartment.

I know, it's cute though, right?

I wouldn't really describe any apartment as cute in this town.

Hi.

Um, hi.

There's a collection of undershirts

hang drying outside of my room.

Um, is there any way they could be removed,

or is there like, a Texas Chainsaw movie

being filmed out there that I'm not aware of?

Actually, Roland is staying here for a few days.

-Ew. -That's disgusting.

What's going on over here? Let me see that. What is this?

Charming studio apartment for rent in Lower SC.

What's Lower SC?

I thought this town was just one long street.

I'm thinking about getting a place.

I have some money coming in, and it's just...

It's not really a cute look to be this age and live at home.

No offence, David.

Okay, it's not like I have a lot of say in the matter.

Okay, well, you're a full-grown man,

who's much older than me, living at home.

So it's just a little bit embarrassing.

Mmm, available immediately.

I wonder if you could move out tonight?

Uh, no, because I'm gonna be using my half of the room as a guest bedroom.

Oh, better yet, you could sublet it.

I'm sure there's plenty of vagrants

looking for temporary housing.

Speaking of which, David, I'm gonna need you to come

and look at the apartment with me.

(IMITATING ALEXIS) "Okay, why would I do that?"

Because, David, as an attractive, single female,

I don't feel comfortable going to look at an apartment by myself.

Well, what if the person who's showing you the apartment

is like, a super-cute single real estate guy?

Mmm, that person doesn't exist in this town.

Okay, well, if that's the case,

then David, you have to come with me.

And if I like the place,

then you can have the whole motel room to yourself, okay?

Okay. She's nuts.

Um, if you could just figure out the undershirt situation,

there's just so many of them, and it's a lot for me.

-Bye. -You know, for my eyes.

Mmm-hmm.

(JOHNNY SIGHS HEAVILY)

-Hey, Johnny. -Oh, Jocelyn. Hi.

-How are you? -Fine, thank you.

-Really? -Yes.

I couldn't help but notice that you seemed a little sad sack-y today.

Sad sack-y?

Well, maybe that's because your husband is occupying

the room next to us at the motel.

I thought he might end up there.

That's where we had our honeymoon.

Had a lot of great times in that room.

I don't think this is one of them.

He was playing Don't Cry Out Loud

loud at 2:00 in the morning.

I'm so sorry.

That's our wedding song.

It was actually the first song that we ever made...

Okay, I really don't need the details on that.

Listen, I would ask you to sit, but I am not...

Absolutely, yes.

So...

You two are going through a little bit of a thing?

We had a tiff, and, uh,

I just said, I need some space.

Well, I'm glad you have your space,

and I'm glad Roland has his space.

I'll tell you who's now having a major problem with their space.

Okay, Johnny. Sometimes it's a lot easier to blame others

than it is to maybe kinda turn it inwards on ourselves, isn't it?

Meaning...

Well, it's kinda obvious that you and Moira

are a little bit rocky right now.

No, no, things are not rocky.

Things are not rocky, and if they are,

it's because your husband is driving us...

So you're telling me that there are no issues between you two right now?

No. No. No issues.

Well, by issues, If you mean peccadilloes,

-if you mean little irritants. -Mmm-hmm.

Maybe.

-Uh-huh. -But, uh, no, we're...

-We're good. -Good.

Right this way.

As you can see, it's light and breezy.

And by breezy, I mean, there's a slight, but steady draught

I'm told you only notice in the winter. (CHUCKLES)

This is so cute for me.

Oh, and there's a lovely window here

through which you can see all of the town.

The cafe, the garage,

a tree of some kind just, uh, over there.

This is cute, right?

I think this is super-cute.

(IMITATES ALEXIS) "Wait, is it cute?"

'Cause I know that it's light, and spacious and airy in here,

but I just wasn't sure if it was cute.

Oh, it's cute.

Are these original mouldings?

Yes, but we can rip those out.

Okay, well, I'm the one that should be asking the questions.

Okay, be my guest.

Okay, so...

When does, um...

Is this a functioning fireplace?

Yes, we found an incinerated squirrel carcass there last week.

Um, what are you doing, David?

You wanted my help, so I'm helping.

-Mmm, okay. -What's the rent?

Uh, they want $275, but I think they're dreaming.

-A week? -No, no, no, a month.

But again, I think we can talk them down.

Wait, $275 a month for this?

That's cheaper than my PO Box in New York.

Do you think I should take it?

Well, I mean, it is... It is very old.

I think that I would like to see the lease agreement.

I thought you'd never ask.

Oh, you know, it actually kind of reminds me of your old, um,

office space that you had in the West Village.

-Mmm-hmm. -Remember?

-Yep. -So cute.

JOCELYN: You know what I think brought all this on?

That darn election.

It's really hard on couples.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really appreciate

how involved Roland wants to be in my campaign.

It's just that, sometimes, he can be so...

-Irritating? -No.

-Obnoxious? -I was gonna say sensitive.

Oh, sensitive.

Especially when I want to do something on my own.

Oh. Do you really think he's obnoxious and irritating?

No. No, no, no, I was just trying to imagine

what you know, you were feeling.

Well, I feel frustrated a lot.

You know, you try to have a rational conversation with him,

and he just gets all, like, stubborn and selfish.

And then he acts like you're the one behaving like a child.

-Exactly. -Right? Yeah, exactly.

Words get used and twisted around,

and yet, he uses that against you.

Yes, that is so Roland.

And you get the reputation for being hot-headed,

and he gets to push every button he can.

You are so right.

You know, I thought that I might be ready to forgive him,

but I think he needs a couple more nights at that motel.

But, on the other hand,

maybe it's through your forgiveness

that you teach him a lesson.

Right, and the sooner you forgive him,

then the better it's gonna be for you.

-♪ Don't cry out loud ♪ -Roland!

-Roland! -(MUSIC STOPS)

ROLAND: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. Moira, this isn't a good time, um...

Jocelyn and I are about to make brunch.

You can give up the act.

You and I need to talk.

Close the door, honey, will you?

You're lettin' my flies out.

-(GROANS) -(COUGHS)

Ugh. It's time for you to go home and apologise.

Oh, okay.

I'll do that. Um...

Just one question. Where's Johnny?

I imagine he's at work.

Because he seemed pretty angry this morning.

I don't know. Maybe you need to go home and apologise.

(LAUGHS)

Sorry, sweetheart. These walls are pretty thin.

Oh, yes, I know.

The only reason John and I had words

is because we were exhausted

from being kept up all night.

It seems someone in the motel was playing loud music until 4:00 A.M.

I'm sorry, are you complaining

about the quality of the free lodging

that I arranged for you this past year?

I think we're a very courteous guest, Roland,

and have tried to contribute to this town

in whatever way we could.

This town, which is, quite frankly, woefully mismanaged.

Oh, ugh, ew. I hate that!

Ugh! That is just the kind of arrogance that I can't stand.

You come in here and you think you know everything.

Ooh. Oh!

No, but I think if I was in your position,

I would be open to new ideas.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Right. Of course you would. Sure.

-I would. -(LAUGHS) Yeah.

(IN BRITISH ACCENT) "Hello, everyone.

"I'm Moira Rose, and I know famous people,

"so I really can't talk to the common folk.

"Excuse me, all. Coming through."

So I'm assuming this place comes fully furnished?

(LAUGHING)

No, this is all completely staged.

Hmm, it must be very expensive to furnish a place like this.

Not really, if you get it second hand.

Or, uh, maybe you get up early on Tuesdays,

which is garbage day, and find a discarded couch or sofa.

Mmm-hmm. Um, well, you know what,

I don't even really need that much stuff.

I kinda like the minimalist look anyway, so...

DAVID: It's very quiet in here, Ray.

It's, like, alarmingly quiet.

The apartment was soundproofed by the previous owner.

But the irony is the people next door are completely deaf,

so you could literally scream for hours,

and no one would hear you.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

Did you hear that?

You could scream for hours and no one would hear you.

Okay, well, think about how much fun that will be for parties, David.

Um, and what about parking?

Okay, you don't even have a car.

Oh, my God, if you want the place so badly, David,

why don't you just say it?

-Who says I want it? -So you don't want it?

-No. -So if I said that I didn't want the place,

you wouldn't... You wouldn't want it?

Okay, so you don't want the place?

Okay, I'm just trying to figure out if you want the place.

Oh, okay, okay. I think I know what all the hesitation is about.

Yes, someone did take their own life in this space,

but the good news is, we've replaced the ceiling fan,

it's now a break-away model.

And to answer your question, yes, there is parking.

Uh, oh, and they also allow cats.

(DAVID CLEARS HIS THROAT)

Oh? Oh? You wanna drop the gloves?

Let's drop the gloves, Roland.

You are an emotionally stunted,

self-absorbed man-child.

You lord this counterfeit power of yours over others like a schoolyard bully.

Okay, well, you're a phoney-baloney blowhard,

who's desperately scared of being thought of as a regular person.

I used to be a regular person.

You're just a stuck-up pencil skirt with clown makeup,

and a janitor's mop on your head.

You are an inexplicably cocky imbecile!

Your marriage is as blighted as this town,

and you have no one to blame but yourself.

-Whoa! -Oh.

-Well, hold on. -I went too far.

-Yeah. -Well...

-Well, I mean, come on. -In the spirit of things.

Yeah, but still, that was kind of over the line.

I like Jocelyn,

and I know you two have a very special relationship.

Well, we... I mean, we have our differences.

Oh, God, who doesn't?

I was just riffing.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES SOFTLY)

John?

Oh, sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you.

Don't hear any music next door.

No, I think he tuckered himself out.

Oh, well, that's good, that's good.

I suppose he just needed to spout off for a while.

Yeah, well, Jocelyn will be glad to hear that.

She just came by to pick him up.

-Really? -Yeah.

I think she just needed some alone time,

you know, to clear her head.

That's understandable.

JOHNNY: Hmm.

It's unfortunate they can't communicate those needs to each other.

Yeah, well, they don't have what we have.

I can't argue with that.

♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

I thought you said Jocelyn came back to make up!

She did.

That happens to be their wedding song.

Just admit that you wanted the place.

I was just asking questions

to help you make the right decision.

Well, you're a terrible liar, David.

It's a pretty good deal, though.

Seriously though, would you wanna live in a house

where someone killed themselves?

I can almost guarantee you that someone's killed themselves in this room.

Ew, David.

-Okay, good night. -Good night.

Ugh.

You know, sometimes at night, I see things.

Oh, my God, David.

Yeah, yeah. Like, dark things.

Like, sometimes, there's this old woman that paces back and forth

by your bed, waving her hands over your face.

I don't think her bony fingers ever touch your mouth, though.

(GASPS) Mom?

Do you ever wake up with chapped lips?

Dad!

(WHISPERS) Dad's dead.

Oh, you're such a dick, David!

(GROANING)

Stop!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)