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WEBVTT
00:08.560 --> 00:14.080
And this device measures the amount
of blood in your vaginal cavity.
00:14.080 --> 00:15.760
I'm sorry, what?!
00:15.760 --> 00:17.440
Can I ask a question? Sure.
00:17.440 --> 00:21.000
Can you read my mind
through my vagina?
00:21.000 --> 00:22.240
No.
00:22.240 --> 00:24.920
It's going in...now.
00:24.920 --> 00:26.400
Jesus.
00:26.400 --> 00:27.880
Can you guys see that it's in?
00:27.880 --> 00:29.560
I can see your signal.
00:29.560 --> 00:31.200
Oh, my God, my signal?
00:31.200 --> 00:33.000
The BLEEP is happening?
00:33.000 --> 00:34.360
Good question.
00:34.360 --> 00:37.800
Just how did I end up in
a sex lab in the Netherlands
00:37.800 --> 00:40.120
with a probe up my vagina?
00:40.120 --> 00:41.800
I can see your vaginal pulse, yes.
00:41.800 --> 00:43.840
Great! I love that for us.
00:43.840 --> 00:48.480
Well, I'm on a very personal
journey into my own sexuality.
00:48.480 --> 00:49.880
You may or may not know,
00:49.880 --> 00:52.320
I've had relationships with
both men and women.
00:54.400 --> 00:57.920
But, I still struggle with
being open, really open about
00:57.920 --> 01:00.600
just how much I love women.
01:00.600 --> 01:02.800
Growing up with a lot of
shame and thinking,
01:02.800 --> 01:04.800
"This isn't normal,
this isn't human" -
01:04.800 --> 01:06.600
but it's, like, it is.
01:06.600 --> 01:10.640
Will exploring the science of
sexuality help me accept who I am?
01:10.640 --> 01:12.920
Oh, my God what's it doing?!
01:12.920 --> 01:15.200
The moment there was
something sexual,
01:15.200 --> 01:18.280
you had this automatic
genital arousal response.
01:18.280 --> 01:20.200
My full, glorious queer self?
01:21.920 --> 01:25.320
Can meeting other queer people
from across the globe teach me
01:25.320 --> 01:28.000
how to be out, loud and proud?
01:28.000 --> 01:30.520
I think we need to be
proud every day.
01:30.520 --> 01:33.320
Put your hand together
for The Darvish!
01:33.320 --> 01:34.960
CHEERING
01:33.320 --> 01:34.960
Stunning!
01:34.960 --> 01:36.640
Well, I'm a homosexual.
01:36.640 --> 01:38.760
Very gay, over-the-top.
01:38.760 --> 01:40.200
Extremely flamboyant.
01:41.640 --> 01:43.240
Hold on to your seats,
01:43.240 --> 01:44.640
buckle in,
01:44.640 --> 01:47.200
it's going to be a bumpy,
wild ride, folks.
01:47.200 --> 01:49.560
Loving the crowd's vibe today.
Loving you guys!
01:49.560 --> 01:50.600
CHEERING
01:57.400 --> 02:00.120
OFF CAMERA: Are you ready to go
talk about being ga-a-ay?
02:00.120 --> 02:02.360
Eey. Go gay.
02:02.360 --> 02:03.960
Queer is here.
02:03.960 --> 02:05.560
Cara Dele-queer.
02:05.560 --> 02:07.840
Serious, serious.
02:07.840 --> 02:11.560
I always have, kind of,
believed in the no-labels thing,
02:11.560 --> 02:13.920
but again, have spent a lot
of time then saying,
02:13.920 --> 02:16.120
"I'm bisexual, I'm pansexual".
02:16.120 --> 02:17.560
I am queer.
02:17.560 --> 02:19.880
I'm 100%, can tell you
that I'm queer.
02:19.880 --> 02:23.360
I just don't know what else
I can say other than that.
02:23.360 --> 02:24.960
Even though I've been queer,
02:24.960 --> 02:27.400
I haven't really been able
to live a queer life.
02:27.400 --> 02:30.840
You know, the internalised
shame or the, kind of,
02:30.840 --> 02:33.520
homophobia's slightly there still.
02:33.520 --> 02:36.560
When you are in this job or when
you are famous, or something,
02:36.560 --> 02:38.040
it stunts a lot of things.
02:38.040 --> 02:39.800
I never really was in the community.
02:39.800 --> 02:42.480
Like yes, I, kind, of came out,
but then, afterwards,
02:42.480 --> 02:43.920
I never went to Pride.
02:43.920 --> 02:45.520
I never went to these parties.
02:45.520 --> 02:48.640
I never met all of these people
and, like, I didn't really
02:48.640 --> 02:50.600
develop my queerness.
02:50.600 --> 02:53.960
So, I think I'm just coming
to it all very late.
02:53.960 --> 02:56.440
Does that make sense? Cool.
02:56.440 --> 02:57.480
Ahem.
03:04.040 --> 03:06.360
Well, no time like the present.
03:06.360 --> 03:10.000
I'm diving straight in at
the deep end, headfirst.
03:10.000 --> 03:13.120
I don't know where I expected
this journey to begin,
03:13.120 --> 03:16.520
but it wasn't slap-bang
in the middle of the desert.
03:16.520 --> 03:18.960
Palm Springs. What do I know
about Palm Springs?
03:18.960 --> 03:20.680
It's hot. It's a desert.
03:20.680 --> 03:24.000
This is a place where
old people go to die.
03:24.000 --> 03:26.360
Joking! That was a joke.
03:26.360 --> 03:28.080
It's hot. It's so hot.
03:28.080 --> 03:30.560
No wonder...what?
Why do people come here?
03:30.560 --> 03:31.600
It's so hot!
03:32.640 --> 03:38.280
Well, apparently if you're LGBTQ+,
this is the place for us.
03:38.280 --> 03:42.160
Once a desert hang-out
for the 1960s Hollywood Rat Pack,
03:42.160 --> 03:46.000
Palm Springs is now one of the most
progressive towns in America -
03:46.000 --> 03:50.200
and the first to have an
all-LGBTQ+ council.
03:50.200 --> 03:53.720
So, it's a good place
to dip my toe in the water -
03:53.720 --> 03:58.480
at the uniquely massive mother
of all lady-loving events.
03:58.480 --> 03:59.920
I'm checking in, please.
03:59.920 --> 04:03.120
Yeah, of course, and what's
the last name? Delevingne.
04:03.120 --> 04:09.000
D-E-L-E-V-I-N-G-N-E...
it's hard to spell.
04:09.000 --> 04:10.760
Yes, it's true -
04:10.760 --> 04:13.880
I still never have been to Pride,
or anything like that.
04:13.880 --> 04:15.560
I think I went the wrong way.
04:16.760 --> 04:21.400
Here it comes - my very first
proper, big lesbian day out.
04:21.400 --> 04:22.880
Bloody Nora.
04:22.880 --> 04:25.480
So...do you come here often?
04:30.560 --> 04:32.840
So scared...scared.
04:34.800 --> 04:37.320
I'm a Cancer, and I like
long walks on the beach.
04:37.320 --> 04:38.760
So do I. With you.
04:40.960 --> 04:43.160
OK, deep breath.
04:43.160 --> 04:45.520
Don't really know what to expect.
04:45.520 --> 04:46.840
Go round, go round.
04:46.840 --> 04:49.880
Abort, abort, abort mission.
04:49.880 --> 04:51.920
How intense can it be?
04:56.920 --> 05:00.520
This is the Dinah Shore weekend -
05:00.520 --> 05:03.760
the biggest lesbian
pool party in the world!
05:03.760 --> 05:08.240
15,000 women, trans, and nonbinary
folk out here in the desert
05:08.240 --> 05:12.120
unleashing their true
sexual selves at a rare place
05:12.120 --> 05:15.080
that all can feel safe and free.
05:15.080 --> 05:19.640
You're coming in, and you just see
an ocean of women and titties,
05:19.640 --> 05:21.800
and glitter, and pasties.
05:21.800 --> 05:25.400
A lot of dancing, a lot of
twerking, a lot of making out,
05:25.400 --> 05:26.920
a lot of happy times.
05:26.920 --> 05:29.520
Different body types,
different ethnicities,
05:29.520 --> 05:30.880
I just love it.
05:30.880 --> 05:34.000
It's like Disneyland for lesbians.
05:34.000 --> 05:38.440
It's clear I won't survive
unless I find friends ASAP.
05:38.440 --> 05:39.480
Hi!
05:39.480 --> 05:43.040
Luckily, I got me some neighbours -
Kimber and - Lily to hold my hand.
05:43.040 --> 05:45.160
All right, "Dinah" on three.
One, two, three...
05:54.840 --> 05:59.800
Any hope I had of staying under
the radar goes way out the window...
05:59.800 --> 06:03.120
..as I'm hauled up on stage to
judge a twerking contest.
06:05.000 --> 06:06.640
How is this my job?
06:24.160 --> 06:27.200
Nice crowd. Loving the crowd's
vibe today, loving the vibe!
06:27.200 --> 06:29.280
Loving you all!
06:27.200 --> 06:29.280
CROWD CHEERS
06:33.520 --> 06:36.400
This place is wild - and loud -
06:36.400 --> 06:38.480
so you're going to have
to read the next bit.
06:48.520 --> 06:52.120
Honestly, I feel accepted as myself.
06:52.120 --> 06:54.320
Perhaps for the very first time.
06:57.040 --> 06:58.400
What just happened?
06:58.400 --> 07:00.120
What didn't happen?
07:00.120 --> 07:03.080
I don't know. I think,
I guess I...I don't know.
07:04.240 --> 07:07.680
I'm out and I'm proud, you know,
to a certain extent,
07:07.680 --> 07:11.120
but in my own life,
I didn't really find the community,
07:11.120 --> 07:12.760
and I didn't really speak, like,
07:12.760 --> 07:14.960
experience these sort of
things, you know?
07:14.960 --> 07:19.040
I, kind of, did it in a public eye,
which again, allowed myself to be,
07:19.040 --> 07:21.520
you know, pointed fingers at,
or feel more of the hate than,
07:21.520 --> 07:24.040
I guess, the love, I suppose.
So, it's a lot.
07:24.040 --> 07:26.520
There's so much love
in there, you know?
07:26.520 --> 07:29.800
Oh, God, this is the journey,
this is the discovery of...
07:29.800 --> 07:31.320
I don't know. Yeah.
07:33.240 --> 07:36.960
Like, I feel this is - it gives me
like, I'm feeling things.
07:36.960 --> 07:38.120
I don't usually do that.
07:39.800 --> 07:42.960
It's Kimber's first time
at the festival, too.
07:42.960 --> 07:46.800
I wish that I could go back
to myself back when I was younger,
07:46.800 --> 07:49.200
and just, kind of,
figuring out my sexuality.
07:49.200 --> 07:52.480
And I wish I could show myself
what my life is today.
07:52.480 --> 07:56.680
I grew up in Tennessee in a
very conservative family,
07:56.680 --> 07:59.240
very religious,
and being gay was just, like,
07:59.240 --> 08:01.840
absolutely not acceptable.
08:01.840 --> 08:06.480
Here I am, erm, all these years
later, and I have an unbelievable
08:06.480 --> 08:09.120
queer community around me.
08:09.120 --> 08:12.280
It's just so important
to not feel alone.
08:12.280 --> 08:15.240
And I feel like a lot of queer
people feel alone in that.
08:15.240 --> 08:17.680
And you're not going
to feel alone here.
08:17.680 --> 08:20.560
Where we live, it's a little -
there's not very many places.
08:20.560 --> 08:23.440
OFF CAMERA: Like, do you walk
down the street holding hands?
08:23.440 --> 08:25.360
Er, probably not.
08:25.360 --> 08:28.440
It's amazing for me, especially,
like, I didn't come out until,
08:28.440 --> 08:32.000
like, later in life so...
I'm an old, I'm an old per...
08:32.000 --> 08:33.320
Old lesbian.
08:33.320 --> 08:36.760
So, yeah, for me, like, it's, erm...
08:36.760 --> 08:40.600
It just feels, like, very less,
I don't know, stressful.
08:40.600 --> 08:43.680
Like, I don't feel like
I need to hold back.
08:43.680 --> 08:46.880
I'm just - I'm pretty
much me everywhere,
08:46.880 --> 08:50.280
But here, it's just a little extra,
like, just total...
08:50.280 --> 08:53.200
It's emotional.
08:50.280 --> 08:53.200
SHE SNIFFLES
08:53.200 --> 08:54.240
Yeah.
08:58.760 --> 09:00.600
So.
09:00.600 --> 09:03.160
She's having a good time.
That's all that matters.
09:03.160 --> 09:04.200
Sorry.
09:07.480 --> 09:11.320
It's incredible to be free
just for a few hours.
09:11.320 --> 09:13.280
It feels like a weight
has been lifted.
09:14.920 --> 09:15.960
Yes?
09:16.960 --> 09:18.320
Thank you!
09:18.320 --> 09:20.680
THEY CHEER
09:20.680 --> 09:23.840
Whoo! Yeah!
09:29.320 --> 09:31.240
I now have gay friends.
09:31.240 --> 09:34.080
OFF CAMERA: What have you learned?
So, wait, I'm confused.
09:34.080 --> 09:36.560
Gig, pass me back, that I need it.
09:36.560 --> 09:40.240
OK, so what have
I learned about myself?
09:40.240 --> 09:41.800
I love being queer.
09:47.360 --> 09:51.160
I just didn't realise until now
how reassuring it is to be
09:51.160 --> 09:55.880
in this safe space with people
who share the same feelings as me.
09:55.880 --> 09:57.920
But I still have a lot to learn.
10:00.600 --> 10:04.320
Bears have a flag? I love that!
10:04.320 --> 10:07.840
There are loads of queer
identities to explore.
10:07.840 --> 10:09.360
Isn't she chic, darling?
10:09.360 --> 10:12.400
With all these different
types of sexual orientation,
10:12.400 --> 10:16.880
even the LGBTQ+ community
can get confused.
10:16.880 --> 10:21.040
So, you don't know the difference
between your As, Bis, and pans?
10:21.040 --> 10:23.240
Don't worry, I'll call a doctor.
10:29.280 --> 10:33.560
Dr Ronx is an ER medic,
queer activist, and educator.
10:33.560 --> 10:36.160
They'll help me
straighten it all out.
10:36.160 --> 10:38.720
Well not straight-straight...
look, you know what I mean.
10:38.720 --> 10:40.080
I love your trainers, babe.
10:40.080 --> 10:44.120
I want the quickfire highlights
of a very complex subject -
10:44.120 --> 10:46.240
sexual orientation!
10:46.240 --> 10:47.880
OK, let's go, let's go, let's go.
10:49.560 --> 10:51.120
Lesbian.
10:51.120 --> 10:55.040
A lesbian is a woman who is
attracted to another woman.
10:55.040 --> 10:56.160
Gay.
10:56.160 --> 10:58.240
Basically, men who sleep with,
10:58.240 --> 11:01.560
or who are romantically
attracted to other men.
11:01.560 --> 11:04.600
Also can be extended to women
who are attracted to women.
11:04.600 --> 11:05.960
Bisexual.
11:05.960 --> 11:09.960
I guess traditionally, bisexual
people fancy men and women.
11:09.960 --> 11:11.160
Pansexual.
11:11.160 --> 11:15.400
People who are attracted
to other people,
11:15.400 --> 11:18.760
regardless of their gender identity.
11:18.760 --> 11:20.160
Asexual.
11:20.160 --> 11:27.120
People who are not sexually
attracted to other individuals.
11:27.120 --> 11:28.280
Queer!
11:28.280 --> 11:33.040
For me, it's anybody
who is not heterosexual.
11:33.040 --> 11:35.640
I think it has to be that simple.
11:35.640 --> 11:40.040
OK, so we've got to grips with
just a few of the bazillion
11:40.040 --> 11:42.160
sexual identities out there.
11:42.160 --> 11:46.440
But for me, there's one big
question hanging over it all.
11:46.440 --> 11:49.200
Was I born this way?
11:49.200 --> 11:51.640
What is it that shapes our
sexual orientation?
11:51.640 --> 11:54.480
Is it nature or nurture?
11:54.480 --> 11:57.760
Gerulf Rieger has studied
this subject for years.
11:57.760 --> 11:59.360
Think about it like this.
11:59.360 --> 12:01.320
The majority of us are straight.
12:01.320 --> 12:04.400
We need our sexual orientation
to create babies
12:04.400 --> 12:06.960
and continue to thrive as a species.
12:08.440 --> 12:11.400
So, the idea that the social
environment has such profound
12:11.400 --> 12:16.160
influences on something so important
to us just doesn't make any sense.
12:20.640 --> 12:24.520
Gerulf thinks our sexual
orientation is innate and set
12:24.520 --> 12:26.480
before we're even born.
12:26.480 --> 12:29.800
Hello, hello, hello.
How is everybody doing today?
12:31.160 --> 12:36.640
He believes there's no one factor
that decides our sexual orientation.
12:36.640 --> 12:42.760
Just a big biological cocktail that
shapes a spectrum of sexualities.
12:42.760 --> 12:46.520
First up, it's partly down
to your genes.
12:46.520 --> 12:49.320
If you look at identical twins,
12:49.320 --> 12:54.360
which are genetically literally
identical, if one is gay,
12:54.360 --> 12:58.120
the chance that the other one
is gay is much, much higher.
12:58.120 --> 13:02.320
If one twin is gay, there's
a 24% chance their identical
13:02.320 --> 13:04.640
sibling will be, too.
13:04.640 --> 13:09.040
But in nonidentical twin pairs,
if one is gay, there's just
13:09.040 --> 13:12.680
a 15% chance their sibling
will share their sexuality.
13:13.800 --> 13:18.440
Conclusion - genes play a part,
but they're not everything.
13:19.440 --> 13:23.760
In fact, the latest research on
half a million people showed that
13:23.760 --> 13:27.440
genes only account for up
to 25% of the whole
13:27.440 --> 13:28.960
"what makes us gay" business?
13:30.720 --> 13:32.920
So, what's next, Gerulf?
13:32.920 --> 13:37.600
Well, he believes it's also hormones
we're exposed to in the womb.
13:37.600 --> 13:39.000
One in particular.
13:40.520 --> 13:44.040
So, we do think that testosterone
has a huge impact on
13:44.040 --> 13:46.000
our sexual orientation.
13:46.000 --> 13:51.080
But if you take newly-born rats and
you inject them with testosterone,
13:51.080 --> 13:55.040
if they're female, then you can
almost perfectly turn them around
13:55.040 --> 14:00.120
in their behaviour, including the
fact that this female now wants
14:00.120 --> 14:01.840
to mate with other females.
14:03.560 --> 14:05.520
So, it's definitely a girl.
14:05.520 --> 14:07.440
Perfect.
14:07.440 --> 14:11.320
Lastly, he thinks
antibodies play a part.
14:11.320 --> 14:15.560
Females who've had boy babies
before are programmed to produce
14:15.560 --> 14:19.400
these fighty immune system
proteins against you men.
14:19.400 --> 14:23.320
When the mother is pregnant
for the first time with a son,
14:23.320 --> 14:27.240
she actually gets exposed to
male typical proteins,
14:27.240 --> 14:30.720
which is something that
her own body isn't used to.
14:30.720 --> 14:34.160
These antibodies stay in
the mother's system.
14:34.160 --> 14:37.640
And if she's pregnant again
with a second son, erm,
14:37.640 --> 14:39.520
those antibodies are waiting.
14:39.520 --> 14:43.920
There's a certain chance that
they attack tissue around his brain,
14:43.920 --> 14:46.640
and could therefore disrupt
the regular development
14:46.640 --> 14:48.640
of his sexual orientation.
14:48.640 --> 14:52.120
That could be why the more
older brothers you have,
14:52.120 --> 14:54.040
the more likely you are to be gay.
14:55.160 --> 14:57.920
So, look, this is all
very interesting,
14:57.920 --> 14:59.760
but what does it add up to?
15:01.120 --> 15:04.200
When it comes to the question
of how innate is somebody's
15:04.200 --> 15:09.200
sexual orientation,
my educated guess is probably 100%.
15:09.200 --> 15:13.520
It's something that really comes
from within the person.
15:13.520 --> 15:16.400
What exactly are the ingredients?
15:16.400 --> 15:18.760
That's the million-dollar question.
15:18.760 --> 15:21.840
You can pack that judginess away,
thank you very much.
15:21.840 --> 15:24.240
Sexuality isn't a choice.
15:24.240 --> 15:27.640
For me, it's hugely reassuring
to hear, to be honest.
15:27.640 --> 15:29.320
I was born this way.
15:29.320 --> 15:32.200
What way? Well,
kind of all the ways.
15:32.200 --> 15:33.320
Oh!
15:33.320 --> 15:35.720
Sexuality is definitely a spectrum,
15:35.720 --> 15:38.080
and I feel like mine waivers.
15:38.080 --> 15:42.680
But also, I'm probably definitely
more on the side of women.
15:42.680 --> 15:47.160
But I don't - I like having sex
with men, I just don't date them.
15:47.160 --> 15:49.520
I might, though, you never know.
15:49.520 --> 15:53.760
But again, I think
it's a beautiful, unwavering,
15:53.760 --> 15:56.360
wavering, beautiful...
15:56.360 --> 15:57.520
..moo.
15:58.880 --> 16:01.160
It feels like,
over the last few years,
16:01.160 --> 16:04.800
there's been a new kind of openness
and acceptance of this spectrum
16:04.800 --> 16:06.680
by young people.
16:06.680 --> 16:10.240
And I really wish
I could've been a part of it.
16:10.240 --> 16:14.880
Today, only 54%
of UK Gen Z'ers identify
16:14.880 --> 16:16.720
as exclusively heterosexual.
16:17.720 --> 16:19.280
Welcome!
16:19.280 --> 16:22.840
But the big change
seems to be amongst women.
16:22.840 --> 16:27.840
In 2011, 77% of US
university-age women were
16:27.840 --> 16:30.280
exclusively attracted to men.
16:30.280 --> 16:34.640
Yet, by 2019, that fell to 65%.
16:34.640 --> 16:37.160
But, guys, your numbers
have stayed constant -
16:37.160 --> 16:41.320
with 85% of you totally straight...
apparently.
16:45.400 --> 16:48.240
It seems like,
particularly for women,
16:48.240 --> 16:53.040
working out your sexual identity
isn't always straightforward.
16:53.040 --> 16:56.720
And that might be because,
when it comes to who we find sexy,
16:56.720 --> 17:00.680
our bodies and minds aren't
always on the same page.
17:00.680 --> 17:05.680
Dr Marieke Dewitte is
an expert on sexual arousal.
17:05.680 --> 17:07.840
Are you Flemish? Yeah, I'm Flemish.
17:07.840 --> 17:10.040
I'm Flemish! A fellow Flem. Yeah.
17:11.680 --> 17:16.200
And I've signed up to her sex lab
to dig deeper into what turns us on.
17:16.200 --> 17:18.160
By watching porn!
17:18.160 --> 17:20.000
All in the name of science,
mind you.
17:21.120 --> 17:23.840
The watching porn part is going
to be the really hard part, I think.
17:23.840 --> 17:26.800
Yeah, probably. Yeah, who wouldn't
be excited by watching
17:26.800 --> 17:29.400
a whole lot of porn today?
17:29.400 --> 17:32.200
Come in, and welcome to our sex lab.
17:32.200 --> 17:35.760
So, what we'll do is we are going
to present several video clips.
17:35.760 --> 17:37.480
Do you know what
I just thought about?
17:37.480 --> 17:38.920
My parents watching this.
17:38.920 --> 17:41.840
OK, well, maybe you should've
thought about that before.
17:41.840 --> 17:43.240
Try to ignore it.
17:43.240 --> 17:46.320
The main thing is actually
what you need to do is just sit,
17:46.320 --> 17:49.040
relax, and try not to touch
yourself and sit still.
17:49.040 --> 17:51.720
Try not to... Try not to.
I can contain myself.
17:51.720 --> 17:54.200
Not touch yourself, and just watch.
17:54.200 --> 17:55.760
Yeah? OK, perfect.
17:55.760 --> 17:57.320
Have fun, Cara. I will.
17:57.320 --> 17:58.840
Yeah, definitely. I will try.
17:58.840 --> 18:00.800
SHE CHUCKLES
17:58.840 --> 18:00.800
Fuck.
18:00.800 --> 18:02.560
I'm sorry, this is what?
18:02.560 --> 18:04.040
And it goes where?!
18:04.040 --> 18:07.440
Basically, when you get
sexually aroused, more blood
18:07.440 --> 18:09.920
is being pumped into your vagina.
18:09.920 --> 18:13.400
And therefore, the colour
of your vaginal wall changes.
18:13.400 --> 18:18.120
And this device measures the amount
of blood in your vaginal cavity.
18:19.120 --> 18:20.800
Can I ask a question? Sure.
18:20.800 --> 18:24.120
Can you read my mind
through my vagina?
18:24.120 --> 18:25.440
No.
18:25.440 --> 18:28.600
It's going in...now.
18:28.600 --> 18:29.640
Great.
18:29.640 --> 18:31.040
Jesus.
18:31.040 --> 18:32.840
Can you guys see that it's in?
18:32.840 --> 18:35.760
I can see your signal.
Oh, my God, my signal?!
18:35.760 --> 18:38.960
The fuck is happening?
I can see your vaginal pulse, yes.
18:38.960 --> 18:41.000
Great! I love that for us.
18:42.240 --> 18:45.160
OK, try not to think
about my parents.
18:45.160 --> 18:48.520
Or about the camera
12 inches from my face.
18:48.520 --> 18:52.800
My frankly ridiculous task is
to watch different kinds of porn.
18:54.320 --> 18:58.640
While Marieke's monitor records
how aroused my genitals are,
18:58.640 --> 19:02.200
I rate my subjective arousal,
what I'm thinking,
19:02.200 --> 19:07.080
on a sliding scale from
completely ice-cold to smoking hot.
19:08.200 --> 19:10.680
OK, fire it up!
19:10.680 --> 19:13.360
First, two guys shagging each other.
19:13.360 --> 19:16.920
I can feel my breath shortening,
or whatever crap.
19:16.920 --> 19:19.320
We can see that there is
at least something happening.
19:19.320 --> 19:21.240
The peaks are closer to each other.
19:21.240 --> 19:23.680
Then, lesbian sex.
19:23.680 --> 19:25.720
Yeah, OK.
19:25.720 --> 19:28.840
My body feels, like,
that shivery feeling again.
19:28.840 --> 19:30.600
Great.
19:30.600 --> 19:32.560
Weird. This is strange.
19:32.560 --> 19:35.320
Just had a real big influx
of horniness, and then,
19:35.320 --> 19:37.280
a real big influx of shame.
19:37.280 --> 19:40.480
How bad is that still? Why?
19:40.480 --> 19:43.480
Now there seem to be
a little bit more peaks.
19:43.480 --> 19:45.160
Straight sex.
19:45.160 --> 19:48.720
He's not very good at this.
19:45.160 --> 19:48.720
SHE LAUGHS
19:48.720 --> 19:50.320
There's men masturbating.
19:50.320 --> 19:52.960
I'm less horny than I thought I was.
19:52.960 --> 19:57.000
Oh, Lord. Her body is reacting
here to the gay porn.
19:57.000 --> 19:59.600
You can see the peaks going up.
19:59.600 --> 20:01.240
Women masturbating.
20:01.240 --> 20:02.800
This seems uncomfortable.
20:02.800 --> 20:04.480
It's those fake nails, bro!
20:04.480 --> 20:07.480
You are going to say something
different, aren't you, vagina?
20:07.480 --> 20:10.960
And then, a surprise little bonus
clip of some hairy monkey sex.
20:12.600 --> 20:14.640
OK, this is properly weird now.
20:14.640 --> 20:16.960
Oh, my God, what's it doing?!
20:16.960 --> 20:19.160
It's called oral sex.
20:19.160 --> 20:21.880
This is wild. Literally.
20:23.400 --> 20:25.640
An hour later, that's it, I'm done.
20:25.640 --> 20:27.840
I don't even know
how to feel any more.
20:29.120 --> 20:31.480
So, there she is. How was it?
20:31.480 --> 20:34.160
Do I look traumatised? Not at all.
20:34.160 --> 20:35.720
Did you find it traumatising?
20:35.720 --> 20:37.720
No. Maybe.
20:37.720 --> 20:42.560
But what the F does this all mean
when it comes to sexual arousal?
20:42.560 --> 20:44.400
What did we learn? What did you see?
20:44.400 --> 20:46.880
So, the moment there was
something sexual,
20:46.880 --> 20:49.440
you had this automatic
genital arousal response.
20:49.440 --> 20:52.280
You've learned this is sexual,
so you react.
20:52.280 --> 20:55.520
So, it sounds like
my genitals find everything -
20:55.520 --> 20:57.560
human and animal - sexy.
20:57.560 --> 20:59.480
But is this to be expected?
20:59.480 --> 21:03.400
Your response actually matched with
what we saw in previous research -
21:03.400 --> 21:07.160
that the genital arousal response
of women is rather nonspecific.
21:07.160 --> 21:11.360
It kind of shows that for women,
it's sexual activity that matters.
21:11.360 --> 21:14.760
It says nothing about your sexual
orientation or sexual identity.
21:14.760 --> 21:17.760
Cos also, matters of the genitals
are not matters of the heart.
21:17.760 --> 21:21.160
So sometimes, women who do not,
kind of, identify as being lesbian,
21:21.160 --> 21:23.440
they get turned on by the woman,
and it's like,
21:23.440 --> 21:25.720
"Oh, oh, my God, is this" -
they get confused.
21:25.720 --> 21:27.800
Women get aroused by
different stimuli.
21:27.800 --> 21:31.320
So, it's not some secret
lust for monkeys,
21:31.320 --> 21:34.560
but a primal evolutionary response.
21:34.560 --> 21:38.720
Surprisingly, women's genitals
react to a wide range of sexual
21:38.720 --> 21:42.720
activity that has little to do
with their sexual orientation.
21:42.720 --> 21:47.320
But our minds? Well, that's a
completely different story.
21:47.320 --> 21:50.920
Your subjective sexual arousal
clearly differ depending on
21:50.920 --> 21:53.200
the type of porn you were watching.
21:53.200 --> 21:57.360
And what we saw in your pattern,
it seems that especially the lesbian
21:57.360 --> 22:00.960
porn in specific really turned you
on, in terms of subjective arousal.
22:00.960 --> 22:03.160
Does it match your sexual
orientation? For sure.
22:03.160 --> 22:05.920
Do you feel more attracted to women?
22:05.920 --> 22:11.240
And so, generally, I think women
are my preferred gender, I suppose.
22:11.240 --> 22:13.880
How you feel, the mental component -
22:13.880 --> 22:16.120
we see that in women,
it's a bit more specific,
22:16.120 --> 22:19.280
that what really turns you on is,
kind of, a little bit more tied
22:19.280 --> 22:20.840
to what you also prefer.
22:22.640 --> 22:26.320
My mind is much more in sync
with my own sexual orientation -
22:26.320 --> 22:32.040
but men only react physically to the
stuff that turns them on mentally.
22:32.040 --> 22:34.640
So, men actually only respond
to stimuli that match
22:34.640 --> 22:36.040
their sexual orientation.
22:36.040 --> 22:39.320
For men, when they don't like it,
they don't get an erection.
22:39.320 --> 22:41.880
So then, nothing is
possible any more.
22:41.880 --> 22:46.040
So, in a nutshell, both our bodies
and minds feed into this thing
22:46.040 --> 22:48.240
we call sexual orientation.
22:49.360 --> 22:53.120
And Marieke's experiment
may show why women appear more
22:53.120 --> 22:54.840
sexually fluid than men.
22:56.000 --> 23:01.400
Crucially, none of it's a choice -
and for me, that's a relief.
23:01.400 --> 23:05.560
I think it's also asking yourself,
or thinking whatever you're doing,
23:05.560 --> 23:08.040
however you're feeling is
not natural. Exactly.
23:08.040 --> 23:11.240
Always what I would think,
growing up with a lot of shame,
23:11.240 --> 23:13.920
is thinking, "This isn't normal,
this isn't human" -
23:13.920 --> 23:15.080
but it's like, it is.
23:15.080 --> 23:16.560
Yeah, I mean at this point...
23:16.560 --> 23:19.720
Yeah, that's what it
always comes back to.
23:19.720 --> 23:21.000
The shame.
23:21.000 --> 23:24.960
The pressure from society
and the world around me.
23:24.960 --> 23:28.560
Shame doesn't change your innate
sexual orientation,
23:28.560 --> 23:31.720
but it sure does affect how you
feel about your sexual identity
23:31.720 --> 23:33.440
when you're not straight.
23:35.200 --> 23:38.920
In the UK, male same-sex
relationships were decriminalised
23:38.920 --> 23:40.880
55 years ago.
23:40.880 --> 23:44.800
But laws banning talking about
gay love in schools -
23:44.800 --> 23:50.240
the infamous Section 28 -
were only lifted when I was 11.
23:50.240 --> 23:54.200
Growing up, the messaging
was loud and clear.
23:54.200 --> 23:57.520
I couldn't talk to anyone about it,
23:57.520 --> 24:01.800
and I definitely had a lot of, like,
internalised homophobia and shame.
24:01.800 --> 24:04.800
I thought that I was,
like, abnormal.
24:04.800 --> 24:06.800
Everyone else was right
and I was wrong,
24:06.800 --> 24:09.040
cos I wasn't like everyone else.
24:09.040 --> 24:12.120
I thought about ending my life,
like, I had multiple times.
24:12.120 --> 24:15.400
And, like, I'm so glad I didn't
because if I can help any other kid,
24:15.400 --> 24:17.240
then that means the world to me.
24:17.240 --> 24:21.400
That means the world
to that little queer kid...
24:21.400 --> 24:22.920
..that I was - or am.
24:27.480 --> 24:30.120
I know I shouldn't feel shame.
24:32.160 --> 24:37.440
But I truly believe there are
souls all over the world like me,
24:37.440 --> 24:40.040
battling internalised homophobia,
24:40.040 --> 24:41.800
feeling lost and alienated.
24:43.920 --> 24:47.040
I want to meet people
who can help me move on
24:47.040 --> 24:48.800
and accept myself for who I am.
24:50.160 --> 24:54.280
Come on, take me somewhere fucking
cool and sort me out, people!
25:01.240 --> 25:03.600
Here's what I love about Tokyo.
25:04.720 --> 25:08.680
A busy modern city - and yet,
bang in the middle of it,
25:08.680 --> 25:12.480
ancient traditional
scenes like this.
25:12.480 --> 25:16.360
This land of contrast is
the only country in the G7
25:16.360 --> 25:20.040
that doesn't officially recognise
same-sex unions.
25:20.040 --> 25:24.440
And when tradition and religion is
deeply embedded in your family life,
25:24.440 --> 25:27.240
growing up gay can be a scary thing.
25:27.240 --> 25:28.880
And this is the ceremony hall.
25:36.000 --> 25:40.200
Kodo Nishimura grew up right here,
in this Buddhist temple.
25:40.200 --> 25:42.960
It's like a wedding is ceremony.
I know, look!
25:44.040 --> 25:45.640
I feel like we could be married.
25:47.000 --> 25:48.720
We have shared beliefs.
25:50.440 --> 25:54.480
Even as a child, Kodo felt different
from all the other kids.
25:55.840 --> 26:00.120
I noticed that I shouldn't talk
about my interest in boys publicly,
26:00.120 --> 26:04.200
because most of the time,
homosexual people were portrayed
26:04.200 --> 26:09.440
as villains or creepy in animes
for children.
26:09.440 --> 26:13.280
I was constantly feeling like
there was a huge black cloud
26:13.280 --> 26:15.600
above my head.
26:15.600 --> 26:18.760
Kodo feared that his religion
would never accept him.
26:20.200 --> 26:24.840
So, I was really rebellious and...
26:24.840 --> 26:28.200
Yeah, I really didn't want to be
associated with Buddhism.
26:28.200 --> 26:32.880
He needed to find community in
a place that understood who he was.
26:32.880 --> 26:35.920
Moving to the US was such
a liberation for me.
26:35.920 --> 26:40.880
I kept seeing LGBTQ
Pride parades or TV shows,
26:40.880 --> 26:43.720
and male clerks selling make-up,
26:43.720 --> 26:46.120
and I saw somebody who are like me,
26:46.120 --> 26:49.960
struggling with similar situations,
thriving.
26:49.960 --> 26:54.440
So, to see these representation
really helped me
26:54.440 --> 26:56.680
to reset my normal.
27:00.720 --> 27:02.320
But as time went on,
27:02.320 --> 27:06.680
Kodo felt the pull of the
old family tradition of Buddhism.
27:06.680 --> 27:10.160
I had questions, like,
what happens if I die?
27:10.160 --> 27:11.640
Or why do we have to be good people?
27:11.640 --> 27:16.040
Right. I felt that, well,
I don't like Buddhism,
27:16.040 --> 27:22.480
but I should face what it's like
and see how I can evolve.
27:22.480 --> 27:27.040
In 2013, he returned to train as
a monk, apprehensive about
27:27.040 --> 27:29.480
whether he'd ever fit in.
27:29.480 --> 27:32.440
What I discovered was surprising.
27:32.440 --> 27:36.160
When I was talking to
a master about my sexuality,
27:36.160 --> 27:39.760
he said that Buddhism
is very embracive.
27:39.760 --> 27:43.560
It says, "The mercy of Buddha
is just like the moonlight".
27:43.560 --> 27:47.840
We can prioritise our uniquenesses
and shine in our own colour.
27:48.920 --> 27:51.560
I felt that I was really protected.
27:51.560 --> 27:56.480
And because I got this teaching,
I felt that it is my responsibility
27:56.480 --> 28:00.240
to spread this message of
equality in Buddhism
28:00.240 --> 28:02.800
to people in the world.
28:02.800 --> 28:05.680
The sense of community
he was searching for
28:05.680 --> 28:08.680
had been in Japan all along.
28:08.680 --> 28:10.760
Here we go. Oh, my gosh!
28:10.760 --> 28:12.640
Wonderful style of shirt.
28:12.640 --> 28:14.920
Oh, my God, I'm obsessed!
28:14.920 --> 28:20.280
I think the courage to speak up
is actually cooler than
28:20.280 --> 28:22.960
pretending to be perfect.
Yes. I completely agree with you.
28:22.960 --> 28:26.280
So, yeah, so I will...
High five to that.
28:26.280 --> 28:29.240
So now, I'm going to
transform and...
28:29.240 --> 28:31.400
Transform away. I will leave you.
28:31.400 --> 28:33.360
I will love you and leave you.
OK, cool.
28:34.560 --> 28:38.320
Today, Kodo is a celebrity
in his homeland,
28:38.320 --> 28:42.760
using his skills as an author,
activist, and make-up artist
28:42.760 --> 28:44.760
to spread the message of harmony.
28:46.280 --> 28:49.000
I think what I find
so inspiring about him
28:49.000 --> 28:51.040
is that just by being visible,
28:51.040 --> 28:53.800
he's changing society around him.
28:55.520 --> 28:57.520
Yes, gorgina!
29:00.440 --> 29:03.560
Oh, my God, you look amazing.
Thank you.
29:03.560 --> 29:06.800
What would you like for the future,
and for the future of Japan?
29:06.800 --> 29:10.480
If I can inspire leaders of
the world, also religious leaders
29:10.480 --> 29:15.560
to lift the laws against LGBTQ
people, that would be wonderful.
29:15.560 --> 29:18.520
Because we have to be safe to be us.
29:18.520 --> 29:20.160
And we're not going anywhere.
29:21.520 --> 29:26.560
What an incredibly strong,
but also wise person he is.
29:26.560 --> 29:29.960
No matter how much the traditional
side has probably stopped him
29:29.960 --> 29:32.120
from wanting to be the certain way,
29:32.120 --> 29:34.320
his heart and his light
have shone through.
29:34.320 --> 29:35.880
I've just learned a lot from him.
29:35.880 --> 29:39.200
Being happy in yourself, within
yourself gives you the resources
29:39.200 --> 29:40.880
to be able to help other people.
29:40.880 --> 29:43.200
And that's what is
most important in the world.
29:43.200 --> 29:44.840
Thank you.
29:44.840 --> 29:50.880
Kodo got his happy ever-after
returning home to a warm welcome.
29:50.880 --> 29:54.080
It's the coming-out story
everyone dreams of.
29:54.080 --> 29:56.360
And I guess me, too.
29:56.360 --> 30:01.280
But the truth is, so many people
don't get to go home. Ever.
30:04.800 --> 30:08.160
I want to meet those brave
people who've travelled
30:08.160 --> 30:12.200
across the world to live
an out, queer, proud life.
30:15.520 --> 30:18.040
Where's a force of nature
when you need one?
30:19.280 --> 30:21.680
BUBBLE GUM POPS
30:19.280 --> 30:21.680
Sound check.
30:21.680 --> 30:24.200
My name is The Darvish,
30:24.200 --> 30:29.520
and I am a Syrian
performance artist,
30:29.520 --> 30:33.080
a event organiser,
community changer,
30:33.080 --> 30:35.840
and an LGBTQIA+ rights advocate.
30:35.840 --> 30:39.640
And, erm, I consider myself
a force of nature.
30:40.720 --> 30:42.840
Hello. Hello, my love.
30:42.840 --> 30:45.080
My man, indeed! Hi, my love,
30:45.080 --> 30:49.600
Oh, my goodness. My man!
Hello there. Hi. How are you?
30:51.080 --> 30:57.160
I realised when I'm queer
probably in the age of 14.
30:57.160 --> 30:59.320
Up and straight, then you drop it.
30:59.320 --> 31:00.600
One and two.
31:00.600 --> 31:05.680
And then, the journey started
of me immediately realising that
31:05.680 --> 31:09.120
this is a taboo in the country
that I am in right now.
31:09.120 --> 31:14.000
And that it is dangerous for me
to, you know, own it.
31:14.000 --> 31:20.120
So, yeah, started, er, living
more carefully and cautiously
31:20.120 --> 31:22.360
but gracefully.
31:20.120 --> 31:22.360
LAUGHTER
31:24.600 --> 31:27.240
Yeah, use the hand, OK!
31:27.240 --> 31:29.360
She's getting it! OK.
31:29.360 --> 31:34.640
Same-sex relationships in Syria are
punishable by three years in prison.
31:34.640 --> 31:37.360
But when Isis overtook
parts of Syria,
31:37.360 --> 31:42.320
this situation became even
more desperate for LGBTQ+ people.
31:42.320 --> 31:44.600
And The Darvish had
to make a choice.
31:44.600 --> 31:46.400
The war got really serious.
31:46.400 --> 31:50.000
Persecutions and executions,
and stuff like that.
31:50.000 --> 31:52.000
That's where it really hit us.
31:52.000 --> 31:54.400
We cannot be visible at all.
31:55.560 --> 31:59.560
The decision of me leaving Syria,
that was the hardest thing.
31:59.560 --> 32:01.840
Choosing my life.
32:05.760 --> 32:07.400
And...
32:09.120 --> 32:11.080
Yeah.
32:11.080 --> 32:12.520
One second.
32:14.440 --> 32:18.240
For The Darvish, their imagination
became their refuge.
32:21.520 --> 32:24.920
I focused on imagining
how my life would be.
32:24.920 --> 32:27.760
You can be you...
32:27.760 --> 32:29.480
..free.
32:29.480 --> 32:33.600
The Darvish has now been safe
in Berlin for six years.
32:33.600 --> 32:39.000
The minute I arrived here,
I was able to let go of everything.
32:39.000 --> 32:43.240
Yeah. Start the journey
of self-discoveration,
32:43.240 --> 32:44.800
and what a journey.
32:46.800 --> 32:50.400
Your mum, she understood,
though, you leaving? Or not?
32:50.400 --> 32:52.320
Well, she didn't want to.
32:52.320 --> 32:53.880
She didn't want to understand.
32:53.880 --> 32:57.160
It was very hard for her, for me
to leave, but I think I made
32:57.160 --> 33:05.040
my point very clear that if I stay,
there's no future for me.
33:05.040 --> 33:07.280
Yeah. You know?
33:07.280 --> 33:10.360
It got too dark, right?
33:10.360 --> 33:12.080
I don't like it. Oh, no.
33:12.080 --> 33:15.040
I thought you meant life.
33:12.080 --> 33:15.040
THEY LAUGH
33:19.040 --> 33:21.360
The Darvish was supported
by their community
33:21.360 --> 33:23.280
when they arrived in Germany,
33:23.280 --> 33:24.920
and now they're giving back.
33:26.200 --> 33:29.360
Tonight, they'll be performing
with their collective called
33:29.360 --> 33:32.560
Queens Against Borders, working
for trans and queer refugees.
33:32.560 --> 33:35.920
Hello, hello, hello, hello!
33:35.920 --> 33:38.360
CHEERING
33:38.360 --> 33:43.360
Woohoo! Oh, OK!
33:43.360 --> 33:45.920
Thank you so much, everyone,
for being here with us
33:45.920 --> 33:47.320
tonight in this fundraiser.
33:47.320 --> 33:49.720
We're very, very glad
that you're here.
33:49.720 --> 33:51.400
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
33:52.600 --> 33:53.960
Yes!
33:55.320 --> 33:56.800
Whoo!
34:00.680 --> 34:04.640
Finding and building a community
anywhere in the world,
34:04.640 --> 34:08.120
whatever community it is,
is super vital.
34:16.800 --> 34:21.120
The community that I have built
brought to me everything
34:21.120 --> 34:24.840
that I could ever imagine,
which is me being me.
34:33.240 --> 34:37.680
Please put your hands together,
for the gorgeous, the stunning,
34:37.680 --> 34:41.160
the beautiful,
the one and only The Darvish!
34:41.160 --> 34:43.800
CHEERING
34:43.800 --> 34:46.400
ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS
34:49.440 --> 34:52.320
THROBBING DANCE MUSIC
34:52.320 --> 34:54.520
CHEERING CONTINUES
34:55.840 --> 35:02.720
I choose my dance and my passion,
my performances to say something.
35:02.720 --> 35:07.080
I am trying my best to have
the visibility here in order later
35:07.080 --> 35:09.320
to mobilise it there in Syria.
35:13.640 --> 35:16.840
I'm beginning to understand what
I've been missing by not being
35:16.840 --> 35:18.360
more active like The Darvish.
35:20.760 --> 35:24.680
By expressing their true selves,
they manage to shed the shame.
35:26.200 --> 35:29.520
Look, my struggle's nothing
compared to The Darvish.
35:29.520 --> 35:33.560
But they have given me
so much to think about.
35:33.560 --> 35:36.800
I don't really go to gay bars.
I mean, I'm a shit gay person.
35:36.800 --> 35:39.960
Also because I think that comes
from a deep line of, like,
35:39.960 --> 35:42.160
not really wanting to
be gay that much.
35:42.160 --> 35:45.480
With every story, there's been...
35:45.480 --> 35:49.960
It's been plagued with some,
sort of, element of heartbreak,
35:49.960 --> 35:53.960
but then, some massive amount
of joy, you know?
35:53.960 --> 35:56.400
And that's the magic
of queer people.
35:59.840 --> 36:04.240
All over the world, there are
communities of LGBTQ+ people
36:04.240 --> 36:07.120
creating islands of hope.
36:07.120 --> 36:10.280
And perhaps none more so
than in South Africa.
36:11.680 --> 36:16.160
In 1996, the new constitution
was the first in the world
36:16.160 --> 36:20.160
to outlaw discrimination on
the basis of sexual orientation.
36:20.160 --> 36:24.880
And the country was fifth in the
world to legalise same-sex marriage
36:24.880 --> 36:28.120
in a continent where
no other country has.
36:28.120 --> 36:33.880
No wonder South Africa is
a haven for LGBTQ+ refugees.
36:35.080 --> 36:38.120
In Johannesburg a support
group at the, well,
36:38.120 --> 36:41.680
perhaps surprising location
of the Holy Trinity Catholic Church
36:41.680 --> 36:43.680
brings them together.
36:43.680 --> 36:47.560
My name is Victor Motlasa.
36:47.560 --> 36:50.960
I was born in Lesotho,
I'm 24 years old.
36:50.960 --> 36:55.160
I stopped going to church because I
was facing a lot of discrimination,
36:55.160 --> 36:56.560
a lot of hate.
36:56.560 --> 36:59.840
You, as a flamboyant gay man,
in coming into South Africa,
36:59.840 --> 37:01.200
was there a change?
37:01.200 --> 37:04.120
Coming to South Africa,
I think it was a blessing
37:04.120 --> 37:05.920
because you got to be yourself.
37:05.920 --> 37:08.120
You got to express yourself
the way you want.
37:08.120 --> 37:10.920
I couldn't even wear a crop top
in Lesotho, or like, why,
37:10.920 --> 37:12.720
why would I do that, or a short?
37:12.720 --> 37:16.640
Because I have to - they have
an ideal man that you have to be,
37:16.640 --> 37:18.360
you have to dress like this.
37:18.360 --> 37:20.400
You have to walk like this person.
37:20.400 --> 37:25.040
You have to go play soccer, or you
have to go look after the cows.
37:25.040 --> 37:28.840
THEY LAUGH
37:25.040 --> 37:28.840
Imagine, imagine!
37:28.840 --> 37:31.760
Every morning, every morning,
I will have to be here.
37:31.760 --> 37:33.280
I will have to go...
37:33.280 --> 37:38.120
I find a group, like, as a family
because I think they provide
37:38.120 --> 37:42.600
a safe space where you can
literally talk about your problem.
37:44.160 --> 37:52.760
Today, an estimated 634,000
identify as LGBTQ+ in South Africa.
37:52.760 --> 37:56.040
In communities like these,
to quote The Darvish,
37:56.040 --> 37:59.120
people can be themselves - free.
37:59.120 --> 38:01.200
And you kiss and kiss,
and kiss up until...
38:01.200 --> 38:03.560
Kiss another boy.
Kiss another boys, have fun.
38:03.560 --> 38:08.680
If we get, like, spaces where we can
enjoy as the queer community,
38:08.680 --> 38:13.000
like, we get to feel
that love within ourselves.
38:18.200 --> 38:22.080
Spaces like this are definitely
important because, I don't know,
38:22.080 --> 38:25.440
I just feel so much more me.
38:25.440 --> 38:30.040
Well, I'm a homosexual, very gay,
over-the-top,
38:30.040 --> 38:33.000
extremely flamboyant.
38:33.000 --> 38:35.280
We want to get married
and just settle down,
38:35.280 --> 38:36.880
and just live a beautiful life.
38:36.880 --> 38:41.360
And have fur babies, cos
I don't want, like, actual ones.
38:41.360 --> 38:44.640
Every one of these people has been
brave enough to put themselves
38:44.640 --> 38:48.920
out there, despite all
the challenged they've faced.
38:48.920 --> 38:50.480
So, what about me?
38:50.480 --> 38:52.960
I may have been open about
being into women,
38:52.960 --> 38:56.320
but boy, have I missed out
on a bigger picture.
38:57.600 --> 39:00.640
A life-affirming queer community.
39:00.640 --> 39:06.400
It's all been a very interesting
journey of meeting wonderful people,
39:06.400 --> 39:11.240
you know, plagued with quite
horrible circumstances sometimes.
39:11.240 --> 39:18.200
It's just made me really want to be
louder about what I believe in.
39:18.200 --> 39:19.560
Moshi, moshi!
39:21.400 --> 39:23.240
But what do I do, really?
39:23.240 --> 39:26.520
How can I stand up
and fight for my community,
39:26.520 --> 39:30.400
and live that true proud, out life?
39:30.400 --> 39:33.200
Well, there's one
small thing I can do.
39:33.200 --> 39:34.760
I can show up.
39:34.760 --> 39:38.240
It's time to stop hiding and
do what I said at the start
39:38.240 --> 39:40.600
that I've never done before.
39:40.600 --> 39:44.440
Yes, at last, I'm going to go
to freaking Pride!
39:46.200 --> 39:48.640
I want that outfit!
You look amazing!
39:51.000 --> 39:53.440
Darling, look at those model faces.
39:53.440 --> 39:55.080
The fame, the fame!
39:55.080 --> 39:57.160
Do you mind if I interview you?
39:57.160 --> 40:00.800
I would love to interview you,
as well! I can do that. OK, good.
40:00.800 --> 40:04.560
I've never been to Pride before,
so this is my first Pride.
40:04.560 --> 40:05.840
I've been out for a while.
40:05.840 --> 40:07.920
But, yeah, happy Pride.
Happy Pride!
40:07.920 --> 40:10.080
Tell me about your experience
as drag queens.
40:10.080 --> 40:12.200
Like, how old you were
when you discovered...?
40:12.200 --> 40:15.880
But we're still only 15.
Yeah, exactly, me too!
40:15.880 --> 40:18.440
I'm 12. Me too. I'm 12.
No, you aren't.
40:18.440 --> 40:21.840
When did you come out? 26-7.
40:21.840 --> 40:25.280
Don't ask me how old I am.
40:21.840 --> 40:25.280
THEY LAUGH
40:25.280 --> 40:27.720
I wouldn't ask a lady that question!
40:29.000 --> 40:31.360
The last ten years,
I think, changing a lot.
40:31.360 --> 40:32.640
It's changing a lot.
40:32.640 --> 40:35.240
But now, marriage, family, kids -
it's on the table.
40:35.240 --> 40:38.640
It's all possible.
Yeah, it's possible.
40:38.640 --> 40:42.880
The first Pride was held
in New York in 1970.
40:42.880 --> 40:47.240
But Tokyo didn't see
a parade until 1994.
40:47.240 --> 40:51.560
And just like in New York,
it began as a political protest.
40:51.560 --> 40:54.840
Until the late 2000s,
some marchers disguised themselves
40:54.840 --> 40:57.360
with masks and shades.
40:57.360 --> 41:00.760
But this year,
there were 66,000 people,
41:00.760 --> 41:02.640
and the only masks were...
41:02.640 --> 41:04.280
Well, you know why.
41:04.280 --> 41:06.040
Thank you. Happy Pride! Happy Pride.
41:07.400 --> 41:10.800
It's emotional for me a little bit,
cos I think when you're queer and
41:10.800 --> 41:13.840
you spend so much time
being quiet and being silenced,
41:13.840 --> 41:16.560
Pride allows a space for people
to come and feel safe
41:16.560 --> 41:19.440
showing who they really are,
being able to be loud.
41:19.440 --> 41:20.880
Oh, my God!
41:23.000 --> 41:27.280
Here, the weather might be gloomy -
but there are rainbows galore.
41:27.280 --> 41:29.200
And I've just seen a familiar face.
41:30.800 --> 41:32.840
Hello again! Hi.
41:32.840 --> 41:34.160
Oh, my God! Hi, sorry.
41:34.160 --> 41:35.880
How are you? Hi, how are you?
41:35.880 --> 41:38.280
Oh... This is amazing, yeah!
41:38.280 --> 41:43.200
Yesterday, I saw two men holding
hands for the first time in my life,
41:43.200 --> 41:45.200
in Shibuya, and I was like...
Oh, my gosh!
41:45.200 --> 41:49.000
Anybody who sees them would
be like, "Oh, this is..."
41:49.000 --> 41:50.800
This is normal, it's not weird.
41:53.240 --> 41:57.120
What Pride has taught me is
in so many places in the world,
41:57.120 --> 42:00.160
you can find a queer community.
42:00.160 --> 42:03.200
And many of us have been
on similar journeys.
42:03.200 --> 42:05.520
There's strength in numbers,
42:05.520 --> 42:09.000
but individuals
can make a difference.
42:09.000 --> 42:13.440
I've met them, and they've
inspired me to say goodbye
42:13.440 --> 42:16.040
to that shame once and for all.
42:18.040 --> 42:22.000
I feel so much more comfortable,
and I feel very proud.
42:22.000 --> 42:24.120
I mean it, not just
because it was Pride.
42:24.120 --> 42:25.720
It's not like it's changed me.
42:25.720 --> 42:28.200
It's not like it's, erm,
made me someone else,
42:28.200 --> 42:30.120
or I've discovered new
elements of myself.
42:30.120 --> 42:32.680
It's just me being able to be
myself in these situations.
42:32.680 --> 42:34.400
It's just been a real revelation.
42:35.920 --> 42:40.560
I just want to keep being in
this Planet Sex-mode.
42:40.560 --> 42:43.720
Meeting people from around
the world, connecting, listening
42:43.720 --> 42:46.640
to people's stories, trying
to imagine their situation,
42:46.640 --> 42:50.240
trying to understand and, through
that, understand more about myself,
42:50.240 --> 42:52.360
and hopefully ignite
or inspire others
42:52.360 --> 42:54.040
to have similar conversations.
42:54.040 --> 42:56.680
I've just never done anything
so personal.
42:59.840 --> 43:02.640
It just makes me realise
what's important, and how much
43:02.640 --> 43:05.320
more active I want to be,
in terms of trying to make
43:05.320 --> 43:07.800
some sort of small difference.
43:07.800 --> 43:10.080
Any difference is still
better than nothing.
43:10.080 --> 43:12.120
OK, now what? I'm sad!
43:12.120 --> 43:14.960
Is it over? Is it over?
43:14.960 --> 43:17.200
It's never over.
Pride is never over.
43:17.200 --> 43:18.400
Coming out.
43:18.400 --> 43:20.280
It was just a really
beautiful experience,
43:20.280 --> 43:21.520
and I'm so grateful for it.
43:21.520 --> 43:25.120
Oh, don't, I'm going to get
fucking emotional. I hate emotions!
43:25.120 --> 43:27.720
What do you want? Just say "cut"!
43:27.720 --> 43:30.040
Just...
43:27.720 --> 43:30.040
SHE LAUGHS
51884
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