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THOMPSON: Here we are.
95,000 square feet of government storage space
surrounded by 60 acres of protected wilderness.
This place is a fortress built inside a mountain.
No one gets in, nothing gets out.
Pretty impressive, huh? No perimeter fence, I see.
Sir, the entrance to this storage facility is fortified
with four feet of reinforced concrete.
Not to mention two state-of-the-art vault doors
that each require two-factor biometric authentication.
But no fence.
(exhales)
Is there a problem, petty officer?
No, sir. It's just when Senator Edison--
Addison. When your boss
called my boss about a routine security check,
I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
And just when I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.
Excuse me? Monty Python.
Is that your CEO?
I'll just get the door. (exhales)
What's in there that requires congressional oversight anyway?
That's need-to-know. And you don't.
(door rings, latch clicks)
MEEKS: What the hell?
Are you okay, sir?
Sir, can you hear me?
Stay back.
Sir?
He's dead.
This is Chief Petty Officer Thompson
requesting-- (shouts)
No. No, don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me. Please, don't hurt me. (grunts) (grunts)
(groaning)
♪ ♪
It's a, it's a Man-Time Monday.
It's a juice... All right, give me that.
A juice hang.
McGEE: Delilah. Hey, hon. It's me.
Just dropped the kids off at school.
I'm stuck in the parking lot.
Again.
Anyway, I forgot the permission slip for the fall festival,
so if you could grab that off the kitchen counter
that would-- Whoa, hey!
Thanks, bro! Jackass!
Sorry, honey.
Some... (exhales) ..."bro dad"
pulled out in front of me.
I swear, some of these parents
can be a little...
...much.
Got to go. Bye, babe.
Morning, Tim.
Morning... Carter.
Maddie's dad.
Uh...
We met the last time I was traffic volunteer.
Um, should I get going here?
Ah, no, that's okay, man.
They can go around. Come on.
Thank you. Come on.
Hey, I-I-I wanted to give you one of these.
Here you go. Uh...
McGEE: "Man-Time Monday"?
CARTER: It's an informal hang
for school dads at a local juice bar.
I have a deal with the manager to get five percent off.
You should come.
We dads got to stick together.
(both chuckling softly)
McGEE: Well, you know, I would. But I, I got work.
Oh, that's right, you're an NCIS agent.
(chuckling) Me and the other dads would love to hear
some cool crime stories. I bet.
Yeah, they really would. (phone chimes)
Actually, that may be one now. Huh? Oh, okay.
Come on, Margie, let's go.
Yes, you.
Hey... You. (chuckles)
Can I go? One sec, one second.
White car, your move.
Lady in blue, coming thru. Come on.
JIMMY: Severely wrinkled digits.
Mm.
Rules out using a fingerprint scanner for ID.
I'd settle on a cause of death.
There's nothing obvious here, but the fingers
do suggest extreme dehydration.
From what? You know, it's hard to say.
But rigor mortis has passed, so this man has been dead
for at least 36 hours.
Well, that's a long time to be stuck down here.
No wonder his missing buddy was so eager to escape.
Who gets themselves into a government storage bunker
but then can't get themself out?
Thieves. Thieves.
Thieves who aren't very good at their job.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
I got held hostage by a, uh, chatty school dad.
Discussing minivans and comparing dad bods?
No, we prefer the term "father figures."
But, uh, no. I wish.
Unfortunately, this guy just wanted to talk about
the usual-- you know, dead bodies, murder.
The job. Yeah.
People do treat us like their own personal episode
of Dateline. TORRES: If I have to hear
another theory about the O.J. trial...
McGEE: Exactly.
(chuckles softly)
Talking shop gets old.
People are fascinated by death.
I always end up changing the subject.
Yeah? To what?
Well, anything, you know?
Uh, kids. Sports. Weather.
You mean, small talk?
Mm-hmm. I don't know.
That sounds worse than death.
THOMPSON: The second intruder must have been waiting for us
to open the door.
I never saw him coming, sir. What about
Beltway Bob over here? Legislative Aide Meeks.
Wasn't much help.
But he did say the man who hit me
was a white male with medium build
and a slight limp.
Whatever that means. Means we can put out a BOLO.
I don't understand it.
When we arrived, there were no signs of a break-in.
No alarms. No lights.
And even if the intruders got in with proper ID,
the security panel would have still shown an entry event.
Any idea what they were after? No, sir.
And the inner vault door was still closed and locked.
We're gonna need it unlocked. I'll call you back.
Excuse me.
NCIS does not have authorization
to enter this storage facility.
This is a murder investigation. And the contents
of this vault are a matter of national security.
Says who? Me.
And my boss. Senator Addison.
I see.
Would that be the Senator Addison
who's currently under investigation for taking bribes?
Those charges are totally false.
Well, the obstruction of justice charge won't be.
We're going inside that vault. Fine.
But whatever you see in there, it stays quiet.
KNIGHT: Lead the way, Nic Cage.
National Treasure?
Finds a hidden vault full of government gold?
Whoa.
I don't think we're looking at gold.
At least not the kind that you can spend.
You got to be kidding me.
McGEE: What do we got here? Chemicals? Drugs?
Hmm. Ugh. Oh...
KNIGHT: Nope.
That's cheese.
Yeah, and the barrel is filled with it.
They all are.
I-I assure you, NCIS will be discreet, Senator.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Uh, appreciate the call.
Will someone explain to me why the hell I'm getting
angry calls on my personal cell about cheese?
Bet that's a new sentence for you.
One I would rather not repeat.
Well, Director, early this morning two men
were found inside a government storage vault.
They apparently broke in
just to find themselves trapped inside.
Was our security that good, or the thieves that bad?
Well, that's a good question,
especially given what was inside the vault.
Yeah, and this is where it gets weird.
McGEE: Turns out, this bunker is one
of several across the country where the U.S. government
stores 1.4 billion pounds of surplus cheese.
I'm sure they have a reason.
Many reasons, actually.
Trade disputes. Declining dairy consumption.
Overproduction.
So the U.S. government is subsidizing the dairy industry.
It costs the taxpayers a pretty penny.
Hence the phone calls. PARKER: Congress doesn't want to
advertise the program. Or their personal involvement,
since it usually involves lobbyists and kickbacks.
VANCE: In other words, this cheese stinks. KNIGHT: I was gonna say
it's "no gouda."
(phone ringing)
(chuckles softly) Yes, Senator.
Y-Yes.
Cheese puns? To the director?
I think he appreciated it.
Well, I'd appreciate answers.
Starting with why the hell our thieves
were after cheese in the first place.
Maybe cheese wasn't the intended target.
According to the security record,
vault B-117 had cheese.
But six miles away, P-117
had a different kind of government surplus.
Weapons.
McGEE: Experimental grenade launchers,
to be exact.
Worth more than dairy.
Well, not only our cheese bandits got locked inside.
It was the wrong vault. Hope they don't quit their day jobs.
Speaking of day jobs, let's do ours. Right.
I will add extra security to vault P-117. (exhales)
Cheddar safe than sorry.
Okay, that's... Wow.
There we go.
Much better.
Sounds like progress, doc.
Practice makes progress.
It took 16 saline injections,
but I finally got a usable print.
And our vault victim is...
...Tyson Perkins.
Long arrest record.
Includes breaking and entering,
grand larceny...
He's a career thief.
Picked the wrong career. Yeah.
Known associates?
Well, it's a long list.
This guy's worked with all the greats.
He's like the Forrest Gump of criminals.
So no help in IDing his missing partner.
What about cause of death?
Well, like 65% of the world's population,
this man is lactose intolerant.
Didn't know that was fatal.
It's not. Usually.
But his food allergy was unusual.
You see,
dairy particles got into his airways
which caused bronchospasms.
Again,
very rare, but not typically fatal.
Unless you're trapped in a sealed room with no fresh air. Exactly.
The added stress triggered an underlying thyroid condition
which caused the extreme dehydration
until, eventually, his body gave out completely
and there was nothing he could fondue.
(chuckles)
You and Knight are rubbing off on each other.
(nervous laughter): What? What?
No, no one's, no one's rubbing...
things.
I also found this. This is pityriasis capitis.
(clears throat)
Dandruff?
It was all over his clothing.
But...
this man does not have a dry scalp.
So it might belong to his partner. Kasie ran DNA.
There's no hits. Well, we can update our BOLO.
Right, so NCIS is now looking for a white male, medium build,
with a possible limp and... flakes.
KASIE: Wow.
Proper data validation. Reduced user freedom.
It's beautiful.
And this proprietary encryption algorithm
actually improves program security.
Mm. Rare. Oh, so rare.
Mm. So boring.
How long have you been sitting there?
Long enough to question your taste in art.
What is all this? Oh, this is root code.
Used in the storage bunker security software.
It controls the vault doors.
Oh, so it's how our bad guys got in. KASIE: Actually, no.
This software is unhackable
because the person who wrote it is an artist.
Genius.
A digital da Vinci.
Ooh. TORRES: Okay, so...
how did our thieves get into the vault
without tripping the alarm?
Well, it turns out they had a key.
And not just any key.
Remember, there was no record
of anybody entering that vault.
Which means someone had to tamper with the root code.
And the only way to do that
is with the original encryption key.
That sounds important. KASIE: It is.
Because the only person who has it
is the one who created it--
Our digital da Vinci.
McGEE: Which means the thieves
either stole the key from him...
Or da Vinci willingly gave it to them,
which makes him an accomplice.
Yep.
And the security company
just sent over the personnel file
for their lead software engineer.
Meet our digital da Vinci,
Carter Landegraff.
You've got to be kidding me.
KASIE: You know this man?
Yeah, he's a dad at my kids' school.
KASIE: Well, he's also a genius.
And now a robbery suspect.
No, no, that-that can't be right.
Well, I say we find him and ask him.
Actually, you know what?
We don't need to find him.
I know exactly where he is.
TORRES: Looks like that invite came in handy.
Chatty school dad involved in a
deadly attempt at robbery? I don't know.
Well, the best criminals are the ones you don't see coming.
McGEE: Yep. Whoa! Oh, wait.
Sorry, my dudes.
(chuckles) Wait.
Uh... Tim.
Johnny and, uh, Morgan's dad, right?
Scott's dad?
Yeah, yeah, Owen.
Good to see you again, man. Good to see you.
Uh, by the way,
don't go in there. That, uh, chatty dad,
Carter, he's inside.
He will talk your ear off. (chuckles)
Yeah, we hope so.
Blueberry cream. Extra cream.
(chuckling): You're the best, Sam.
Thanks. SAM: I'll put it on your tab.
(giggles) Hey Tim!
You came!
And you brought a friend. Cool.
(laughs) Sam.
Uh...
Two super fruit smoothies for my new best friends.
On me.
(chuckles) What do you guys want?
Acai? Goji?
We want to talk to you back at NCIS.
Now.
Tim, is this a joke?
Of course it's a joke. (laughs)
Uh...
Okay, not-not a joke.
Um, sh-should I call my family
and tell them I'll be late for dinner?
I'm-I'm sure this won't take long.
I'm not.
All right. Well, do you mind if I put this away first?
I promised my daughter I'd bring home balloons.
Just parked right over there.
Yeah, just make it quick.
Okay. Yeah, balloons are
a big thing with my daughter. I rem...
(Carter shouts)
(shrieks)
♪ ♪
How's he doing? He's still shaken up from the blast.
But, thankfully, no one was hurt. (door closes)
We got a cause yet?
No cameras outside of the juice bar,
but we did find this melted onto the gas tank.
VANCE: Explosive device.
KNIGHT: Car's being towed into NCIS.
School dad is lucky to be alive.
I knew I shouldn't have ignored that check engine light.
He does know that minivans
don't spontaneously combust, right?
Is this some kind of act?
I don't even know anymore.
I mean, vault robberies, car bombs...
Dad is into something bad.
Yeah, I'm beginning to think our friendly chat
in the drop-off line wasn't so friendly after all.
He was asking about NCIS.
KNIGHT: Maybe fishing for info
on our trapped thieves? VANCE: School parents.
Can't say that I miss
the days of trying to decipher their motives.
As the head of a federal agency, you must've been popular.
Well, I like to think it was my charm
and not parents simply looking for favors.
How could you tell the difference?
Time, Agent McGee.
Given the chance,
people eventually show you who they really are.
(door opens)
Uh, look, I-I don't mean to sound naive...
Too late.
...but does NCIS think I did something wrong?
McGEE: Look familiar?
CARTER: Oh, that's my code.
For vault access control and physical security.
PARKER: Security that failed.
Two thieves broke into a vault
without tripping the alarm. Wow.
Well, you know it wasn't a software failure.
My code is...
It's unhackable. Oh, we know. No, it's...
it's a work of art.
(chuckling): You think so?
McGEE: Actually, I'm dying to know
how you, uh, hide your data structures.
It is a funny story. PARKER: Yeah, one that can wait.
Our point is, someone got into that vault
without leaving a record.
Well, that would require altering the root code...
...and they would need the original encryption key.
And I would have had to have given them
my original algorithm.
So... Did you?
(chuckles) Of course not.
The algorithm is proprietary
and I'm an independent contractor.
I would never give away my livelihood.
Especially not to thieves.
And outside a safe-deposit box,
the only place I store my original work
is in a hidden and locked...
...partition on my, um...
Huh.
There a problem?
No. No.
Okay, 'cause I'll be honest with you.
Sounds like there's a problem.
Um... (chuckles)
I lent my laptop to a friend.
Uh, it was an emergency situation.
But I created a secure partition, so...
This friend have a name?
(smacks lips)
I don't want to get them in trouble.
Wow. You're a good friend.
Thank you.
But if it was my minivan that blew up,
I'd be less worried about my friends
and more worried about me and my family.
I'll tell you everything.
Um...
I recently lost some money, okay?
A lot of it, actually. In-in cryptocurrency?
Yeah, volatile market.
Yes. But I didn't lose the money
due to supply and demand.
I lost it because it was stolen.
One day it was there, the day next it was gone.
Everything.
McGEE: How's that?
You're a coder for a security company.
CARTER: True. But everybody has their blind spots.
And even I don't fully understand the blockchain.
When I went to the police
with decentralized assets and full nodes,
their eyes just kind of glazed over.
Like his are doing right now.
Hey, hey, I understand the blockchain.
Mostly. CARTER: Well, luckily,
I have a close friend with connections.
He agreed to help me get the money back.
Let me guess. By using your laptop?
Hello? Secure partition.
Just give us a name.
My friend is Kingston Reinhardt.
The Kingston Reinhardt? The gangster?
CARTER: I've heard of his supposed legal troubles.
But I swear, Rhino's really a good guy.
PARKER: Yeah. Right up until he took your laptop
and used it to commit a robbery.
Yeah, and when that went wrong, he tried to kill you.
You think... You think he double-crossed me?
Guys, no. Rhino wouldn't do that. He wouldn't lie.
Why not?
Well, friends don't do that.
Right?
I am pretty sure Carter and Reinhardt are not friends.
I mean, look at this.
Just think if Carter's daughter had been inside.
Yeah, I'd rather not. From what I can tell,
the explosive was made using all generic parts.
Nothing remotely traceable.
Someone knew what they were doing.
You mean, like a known gangster?
Ah. Kingston Reinhardt.
Mid-level street enforcer with a rap sheet a mile long.
Weapons theft, weapons trafficking,
weapons use...
Mm. A bad guy who likes guns. Yeah.
So why does our school dad like him?
Well, Carter said
they met at an underground poker game. They...
they really hit it off.
School dad is also a card shark?
I guess parents have hobbies.
Looks like this hobby double-crossed him,
then tried to kill him.
Yeah, Carter's husband and daughter
have been put into protective custody
until we find the man responsible.
How's that going, by the way?
I was hoping you had something.
Oh, you mean like...
a known address or a vehicle?
Maybe a bank account we could use to track him?
You have that? No!
Kingston Reinhardt is a criminal who lives in the shadows.
Off the grid. Underground.
Guy's a ghost. In more ways than one.
Our gangster is dead. What? Says who?
Says someone who does business with the Reinhardt family.
See, unlike McGee,
I actually make small talk with my friends,
so I reached out, she texted back.
And, apparently, our very bad man had a very bad heart attack
early yesterday morning. That would mean
he died and tried to blow up Carter on the same day?
That's a heck of a coincidence.
Or maybe instant karma?
Or maybe we're missing something.
We need to take a look at the body.
My friend might have a problem with that.
NCIS wants to perform an impromptu autopsy
in my place of business
and you thought I might have a problem?
Dee, it is just a quick look.
For a friend?
I blame you.
Hey, I just made the introduction, all right?
You two decided to be tennis buddies. (exhales)
BOTH: Pickleball.
What do you expect to find that the local coroners didn't?
Doctor?
I'll know when I see it? Well, start seeing
because the viewing starts in five minutes
and the family is about to arrive.
Mm-hmm, the crime family.
KNIGHT: Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, we're just... TORRES: Oh, yeah, so we're
just making some final arrangements.
Five minutes in the lobby. Thank you.
There's sugar cookies over there, yeah.
There goes my Yelp rating.
Okay, if I wanted to kill you
and make it look like a heart attack,
how would I do it? Based on your BMI,
I'm guessing you were on some sort of beta blockers,
which interact with a whole host of drugs.
Most of which cannot be detected
and some of which would cause a myocardial infarction.
Especially if injected.
Jimmy, I've seen every inch of this body.
There were no needle marks.
Did you check under all of the fingernails?
Or how about between the toes?
DEE: Don't you dare. (groans)
Do you know how hard it is to get those on?
Oh, come on. JIMMY: No.
No, no, no.
Um... does he have any tattoos?
On his chest. Why?
The coroner would've noticed a chest puncture.
No, not if it's hidden in the ink.
It could be the tiniest pinprick.
Almost invisible.
There it is.
Here.
This was murder.
So what does that mean?
It means this body is ours now.
(banging on door) MAN: What the hell is
going on in here? Oh.
Apologize, sir.
It's gonna take another minute.
This is might sound kind of weird...
Do you have a limp?
I said I don't know about any robbery.
Well, I'm sure your DNA will say otherwise.
You know that's treatable?
KNIGHT: Julian Reinhardt.
Related to the deceased?
He's my uncle.
(sobbing)
Poor Uncle Rhino.
Julian, are you crying?
It's a funeral, okay?
Yeah. Yours.
So we know that you tried to steal weapons.
But then got stuck in the wrong vault
where you ended up watching your partner in crime
slowly die.
What we don't know is
who tried to blow up Carter.
What?
That school dad? After the robbery went wrong,
someone tried to take out
everyone in connection to the heist.
We just gotta to find out who did it.
You or dear Uncle Rhino.
You don't talk about him that way.
Not at his own funeral. The man was like a father to me.
Yeah, and you never got to say goodbye.
Because your dumb ass got stuck in a vault.
That was an accident!
Shh.
The vault may have been an accident,
but the car bomb was not.
You got it all wrong.
I would never hurt Carter.
And neither would Rhino.
And why not?
Because Carter and my uncle were friends.
That's how this all started.
Carter asked Rhino to find some stolen money.
He agreed to help.
So Carter is telling us the truth.
JULIAN: All I know is that Rhino was a good guy.
You know, it's Carter who's a little shady.
And why would you say that?
Because. You know that money that Carter was looking for?
That wasn't his in the first place.
He took the money from his kid's school.
Oh, McGee is gonna love this.
You need a wingman in there? Nah. I got this one.
Tim, why are we, uh... why are we back in here?
That.
CARTER: The school fundraiser?
McGEE: You were the chairperson to a $500,000
campaign to build an innovation lab
so the students can learn how to code.
A campaign that I donated money to.
Generously, I might add.
So you can understand why I'm upset.
You stole the fundraising money.
I-- Wait, what?
That money that was stolen out of your crypto account?
It didn't belong to you. It belonged to the school.
Uh, no, I can explain--
You stole the fundraising money.
No, I didn't... And you lied to me.
No! I thought "friends don't do that," huh?
We're not friends, okay?
That's why I didn't tell you about the fundraising money.
You're the only school dad that actually talks to me
and I was afraid that if I told you the truth,
you'd jump to conclusions.
Like-like you're doing. You lied.
I withheld a minor detail that didn't seem relevant.
Well, it is.
Carter, did you take the fundraising money or not?
No.
But...
it's my fault that it's gone.
When I volunteered to chair the fundraising committee,
I didn't realize that I'd be the only volunteer.
I was all alone.
And after two years, despite all the bake sales
and the car washes and the silent auctions,
we were only halfway to the 500K.
I needed to come up with a creative way to raise money.
So instead of using a low-yield savings account,
I moved the funds into a crypto account.
$250,000?
It's supposed to be like a bank.
Like all the ads say.
I thought I was doing something good.
Yeah.
And then a lot of, a lot of bad happened.
The robbery, the... the car bomb.
And, I mean, and now Rhino's dead? Yes.
And according to his nephew,
he was killed trying to find the stolen school money.
Well, don't get too teary.
He was a bad guy.
Even if he wasn't the one trying to kill you.
So who was?
Well, that's what we need to find out.
Well, i-if Rhino started tracking down the money,
maybe he found a lead.
And maybe NCIS could follow that lead using my laptop.
Except we can't find your laptop.
Carter, you didn't tell any other "friends"
about this crypto account, right? No.
No, of course not. No.
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Okay.
Unless you count Owen.
McGEE: Owen Belfort.
Wait, the preppy dad from the juice bar?
Apparently, he was bragging about cryptocurrency
in the school parking lot
and Carter asked for investment advice.
So Preppy knew about the money.
And he was at the juice bar
right before the bomb went off.
KNIGHT: This guy is full of surprises.
Looks like preppy dad Owen
is a real estate investor
and his last project went bust.
How much did he lose? KNIGHT: Personally?
Almost 300K. With interest.
Well, that sounds like motive to me. We should bring him in.
Really? The guy ties
a sweater around his neck for a DMV photo.
If we're gonna get him to talk,
we'll need concrete evidence first.
What does a sweater have to do with it?
Anybody who dresses like that's got a good lawyer
on speed dial. KNIGHT: So we need to find
a way to tie Preppy directly to Reinhardt's murder.
Or the stolen money.
I will start working on a warrant for bank records,
but I'm guessing he's got a good accountant, too.
Cashmere and perfect posture do not pay for themselves.
Wait a second.
I might have a better idea.
Kase.
Do you still have that
posture-correcting device that I gave you?
The one that vibrates when you slouch. Oh, my gosh.
Have it? I am wearing it right now.
I love this little thing.
Oh, you don't want it back, do you?
I just need to check something. Okay.
Thank you.
KASIE: Ugh, what a mess.
Whoever wrote this code was no da Vinci.
Just what I thought.
Company still hasn't corrected that security flaw.
What security flaw?
Every time the device vibrates,
it sends data to the user's cell phone, right?
Mm-hmm. Including GPS.
Oh, yeah. It's how I know
when and where I slouch the most.
Hint-- It's while I'm working. (laughs)
Oh. (clears throat)
Point is, that info is supposed to be private,
but because of the security flaw,
anyone nearby can intercept the data.
And why are you just now telling me about this?
Because we are going to use it to find out
where our suspect was during the murder.
Owen wears the exact same device.
And you know this because...
We got it from the exact same place.
A chiropractor dad gave them away
in goodie bags at a school event--
"Doughnuts with the Doc."
Parents really like alliteration.
If we can get
within two feet of Owen, when he slouches...
Then we can get his GPS data.
We just have to find an excuse to invade his personal space.
Yeah, without drawing attention.
Oh. Wait. I might know a way.
I have been combing through Owen's social media.
He is hosting an event
at his house tonight and all school dads are invited.
Oof. Another dad event. Oh, come on.
You're the one who was complaining
that all they ask you about is your job.
Look at this as an opportunity for them
to get to know you better.
This could be a whole new bonding experience.
-(upbeat music playing) -(indistinct chatter)
Whoa.
Fantasy Football & Father's Night.
How am I supposed to bond with these guys?
I don't know the first thing about fantasy football.
(over comms): Or reality football.
PARKER: Leave that to us, McGee.
KNIGHT: We are right here with you.
Well, there's our target.
Looks like it would be easy enough to get close.
KNIGHT: Except he looks like the life of the party.
PARKER (over comms): Just, uh, just ease your way
into their conversation.
What am I supposed to say to a bunch of overaged frat boys?
KNIGHT (over comms): Just tell them the truth.
Your jersey is from the evidence garage
and the barbecue stain on your sleeve is actually blood.
Dudes love that.
Hey, hey, O.J.
Didn't expect to see you here.
First time? Yeah, yeah.
Hey. Good to see ya.
Good to see you.
Uh, name is Tim, actually. Hey.
He's talking about your jersey.
O.J. Simpson wore number 32.
Yeah, though I'd like to think Jim Brown wore it better.
Franco Harris? (blows raspberry)
Not helping.
You know, speaking of O.J.,
I've always had this theory--
Hear me out. MKUltra
and the Illuminati...
If the glove fits... uh?
OWEN: All right, everybody, listen up.
Listen up. Settle down.
We've come to my favorite part
of Fantasy Football & Fathers Night.
The part where we turn off the football
and talk about being fantasy fathers.
Now, society loves
to shove us into these boxes, right?
Well, this is our chance to break out of those boxes
and talk about the people that we really want to be.
So join me in the share circle, get yourself comfortable,
and, uh, remember, this is a safe space.
(snorts)
OWEN: Tim, as our first-timer,
why don't you come sit next to me? Sorry, buddy. Okay.
Sure.
(muttering): Don't know what is happening here.
Looks like our frat dads are actually enlightened modern men.
Unexpected, but refreshing.
This is your chance, McGee. He's slouching.
Start downloading the GPS data.
Larry, why don't you kick us off? Oh, all right, here we go.
Hot seat. Yes, thanks, O-dawg.
Ah... Let's see, this week
I was not exactly a fantasy father.
I snapped at my son during his math homework again...
You know, "a quick temper makes a fool of you soon enough."
Wise words from Master Bruce Lee.
Think fast, Timbo! Ooh.
Thanks. Um...
(smacks lips)
I'm, I'm gonna pass. (chuckles)
OWEN: Oh... (chuckles) House rules.
You can't pass the feelings football
until you've shared your feelings.
You got this.
I... think you're on your own, McGee.
All right. (exhales)
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, actually, I have been wanting to talk about
something other than the job.
(phone beeps) Wh...
Uh, you know what?
Actually, I have to take this.
Um, would you mind holding this for a second?
I'll, uh, I'll be right back.
Thanks, guys.
What happened? Did McGee get the info?
KNIGHT: Not sure.
There was a problem with "the feelings football."
Huh? The what? (phone ringing)
McGee, you okay?
Yeah, I'm good. I just sent you the data. KNIGHT: Got it.
Putting up GPS tags now.
Okay, we've got preppy dad Owen at the juice bar.
All right. Well, that's opportunity for the car bomb.
Now all we need is Preppy Dad next to Reinhardt
and we got opportunity for the murder.
KNIGHT: Well, that might be a problem.
GPS puts Preppy in a remote corner
of the Blue Ridge Mountains for the past six days.
Well, what's in the Blue Ridge Mountains?
TORRES: Uh, it's a spiritual retreat that specializes
in mind-altering experiences.
(scoffs)
Aka a sweat lodge for rich people to drop acid.
Not only was Preppy Dad not in the same city,
he wasn't even in the same dimension.
He's not our killer.
DAD BRO: You know, he always was kind of standoffish.
Do you think that was a real phone call?
I think he just needs a second.
Or maybe Cop Dad thinks he's too good for us.
What a poser.
(dads laughing)
Yeah. All right, thanks.
That was the manager to the spiritual retreat.
He confirmed that the suspect was there last week.
So, not our killer. No.
And according to his financial records,
there's no sign of stolen school money.
Money doesn't just disappear.
I'm not so sure.
I've been trying to track Carter's cryptocurrency account.
Now, crypto transaction data is public,
accessible to everyone.
That's what makes the blockchain secure.
Well, yeah, usually.
But whoever stole the coin
modified the verification conditions
to hide their identity.
You know, I've got Mempool data
given to me by Kasie here,
but it's going to take me forever to sort through.
Damn.
I don't know what that means.
It means I'm not gonna be able to find the missing money
without Carter's laptop.
I guess the school will have to update their goal chart.
PARKER: $250,000 all the way down to zero.
Yeah, when school parents find out about this,
they're gonna be looking for blood. TORRES: Yeah.
Carter's. Poor guy.
Poor guy?
I thought you were one of those angry parents.
Yeah, I was, but...
I don't know, maybe I jumped to conclusions.
Did something happen last night at that, uh, share circle?
Well, let's just say I know what it feels like to be misjudged.
Right? Carter is very Carter. But, you know, he means well.
You should tell him that. What? Now?
I mean, the man's still our best lead.
Our only lead.
You think he still knows something?
Or he doesn't know what he knows.
Maybe a friendly chat would knock something loose.
You mean small talk?
It's a risk of the job.
Hmm. Sweet or savory...?
Whatever you choose, I'm buying.
(clears throat)
(quietly): I got him.
So, uh...
it's nice weather we've been having lately, huh?
(chuckles) Why are you being social?
Friends do that.
Do they?
So I've heard. (chuckles softly)
Hey, let me ask you something. Okay.
What is up with Mrs. Cringler?
I mean, she's giving homework? (stammers) In kindergarten?
Thank you. Let them be kids, right?
Yeah, really. That's what I say.
But, you know, Johnny and Morgan seem to love her.
And Maddie, too. She even insisted on
dressing as Miss Cringler last week.
Yeah? You got pictures?
Yeah, she got the glasses right
And the wig. (chuckles)
There you go.
McGEE: Beautiful daughter.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm very fortunate.
As an independent contractor, I get to make my own hours
and basically be a stay-at-home parent, so...
Huh.
That's why I volunteer to do so many things at school.
Like, uh, Man-Time Mondays? (chuckles)
Yeah, sometimes I just got to talk to somebody
outside of the house who isn't five years old. Yeah.
And seeing as how Fantasy Football Night isn't my thing,
I do the juice bar.
It's just a shame that no one ever comes.
Never? Well, Larry came a few times.
You know, that Dad Bro who drives the convertible?
Yeah, the one with all conspiracy theories?
Yeah. He's actually nice to me.
He even considered cochairing the fundraising committee.
Did you ever tell Larry about the crypto investment?
You're still looking for a break in the case?
Well, I hate to disappoint you,
but I didn't tell anybody else about the account.
Sorry.
In fact, I never even used
my laptop in public unless I was alone.
Didn't want anybody looking over my shoulder.
And when I did sign on, I made sure I used a VPN.
Wait.
You used the Internet in the juice bar?
Yes.
Uh...
Since nobody ever comes to Man-Time Monday,
I would usually get some work done.
But like I said,
I made sure there were no customers in there.
I'm not worried about the customers.
(blender whirring)
(entry bell jingles)
Hey, Sam.
Carter. Hey. Where you been, man?
I haven't seen you since that explosion out on the street.
What happened?
It's a long story.
But I've been working with NCIS
and they said it was some kind of bomb.
Crazy, right?
Yeah.
The usual? Oh, yeah, you know it.
You got it.
Just have to grab some more whipped cream from the back.
Okay.
So, a bomb, huh?
NCIS know who did it?
At first they thought it was this gangster type,
but not anymore.
Yeah.
CARTER: They said they have another suspect,
but wouldn't tell me anything else.
SAM: Uh-huh.
I'm sure they'll catch the guy, though.
Everything okay back there?
Yeah.
I think we're all out of whipped cream.
PARKER: On second thought...
hold the whipped cream.
Uh-uh. It's over, Sam.
Or should we call you Hans?
PARKER: Bet you haven't heard that name in a while.
KNIGHT: Turns out, Sam the manager is actually Hans Bjurstrom.
A former mercenary
wanted for killing two police officers
in Stockholm in 2007.
He's been hiding in the U.S. ever since.
Working various jobs, keeping a low profile.
Then things got a little too boring,
so Hans decided to use the juice bar Wi-Fi
to spy on people's computers.
He saw Carter's crypto account and password.
Let me guess. He figured that 250K was
his ticket out of the service industry?
And into early retirement.
That is, until Carter went to
a dangerous gangster for help.
But then, Hans got nervous and took him out.
And then tried to blow up Carter.
He counted on police blaming Reinhardt, which we did.
Until we found out the gangster wasn't all bad.
And the juice bar manager wasn't all good.
Well, time reveals all.
Almost, Director.
The school money's still missing.
We recovered Carter's laptop from Hans's apartment.
But McGee and Kasie have not been able to trace the account.
(phone chimes) That's McGee.
Did they find the money?
Not exactly.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh. I was afraid you weren't gonna come at all.
You haven't been answering my texts, so...
Well, I've been a little busy.
Right. Trying to find the money. Um... Yeah.
How's that going?
Well, we were, uh...
we were able to find the account that the money was moved to.
Well, hey, that's good. Yeah, but then it got
a little complicated.
(exhales) Okay, that's bad.
Yeah.
By the, by the time we were able to find the money
and seize the account,
there really wasn't $250,000 left in it.
(exhales)
Tell me there was at least some money left?
There was.
$527,000.
(scoffs) Did you say $500...?
And $27,000.
Turns out that Hans, your juice bar buddy,
moved the stolen money into his own crypto account.
Well, what can I say? It's a volatile market.
Wh-- And the school gets to keep it all?
We had to pull some strings, but, uh...
Yeah, I think you met your fundraiser goal.
(laughing)
Thank you, Tim. I--
I-I swear, next time,
I'm gonna stick to bake sales and car washes.
Yeah, I know you are, because next time
I'm gonna be your cochair.
In that case, I'm buying. Come on.
Deal. All right.
Hey, you know what? Let's go get some coffee.
Come on. Really?
Give the juice a rest. Yeah, come on.
What's wrong with juice?
Nothing wrong with juice, but you know,
coffee is kind of a special thing.
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