Original subtitles

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[in Chinese] Here. Put this piece here.

And…

This…

Push.

Harder.

Great! It's done!

Nice work!

This is me.

This one is Mom.

This one is you.

So we're a family.

You are my father.

Shu, don't say silly things.

I didn't.

Don't say that, okay?

Don't say what?

It's okay. [chuckles softly]

It's getting late. Let's go home now.

Say thanks to Senpai.

But I'm not done yet.

It's all done, right? We're done playing.

I want to play for a little while longer.

No way. It's too late. We might miss the bus home.

Where would you sleep if we miss it?

We'll sleep here.

We can't. This is Senpai's place. Let's go home.

Hey, can we sleep at your place?

[Lu] Shu, you're being silly.

Let's go home. Come on.

[Shu] No.

Come on.

Just a little longer!

Let's go home.

Just a little longer!

Uh, it's all right. Let him play a little longer.

If it's too late, and you miss the bus, I can give you a ride home.

Shu, do you want to keep playing?

-[Shu] Mmm. -Just a little longer, huh?

Say thanks.

Thank you.

All right.

Every time is like this.

-Sit still. -[Zeng] Sit still.

Now, let's sort them by color.

-All right. -And…

Shu, you get all the white ones.

Lu, you get the yellow ones.

-Mmm. -I'll take the blue ones.

-A yellow one. -Senpai.

Let's see who can sort them fastest! White's fast. White.

[gentle music plays]

This…

You're messing them up.

-How about we build a house? -Okay.

A house.

This is small.

Get a bigger one.

This is still farmland. I thought they would have built a house here by now.

-Hey. -Mmm?

We found the bathtub there.

-Yeah. -[both chuckle]

You were nuts! Who rides a scooter with a tub?

You're the crazy one. Who told me to do it?

Come on. You could have refused.

Refused? How could I?

You were so excited,

saying, "Great, we can use it as decoration. It's perfect."

You wouldn't listen. It was like you had bricks in your ears.

You kept asking me to "hang in there."

-Hang in there." -[honking]

[upbeat music plays]

[man yelling]

Hang in there. We're almost there.

No way! I'm dying here.

It's so heavy!

Hold the bathtub.

My neck is about to snap!

[yelling] I'm going to die.

I'll go to hell with you if you die, so stop whining.

Hold on tight.

I am!

[groans]

[groaning]

-Eh? What was that? -Nothing.

-Yeah, I can feel it crawling. -No, it's just dirt.

-No. -Yeah, some soil fell into your shirt.

-It's a cockroach. I can feel it! -No, it isn't.

-Yeah, I can feel it crawling. -No, it's just dirt.

-Some dirt fell in there! -No, it's crawling!

-No. -Help me get rid of it.

-Come on. -Focus on driving, okay?

-Get rid of it. -It's just dirt.

Paul Chang!

Screw that.

-You were heartless. -[scoffs]

I was worried you'd be scared. What if you fell?

Oh. So I owe my life to you now, huh?

Thanks a lot.

-Anytime. -[scoffs]

Remember that typhoon?

When the campus flooded and the water went halfway up the first floor.

[chuckles] I couldn't leave the editing room.

How could I forget? The sports field became an ocean.

A-Wan and I saved you in a rubber boat!

All the scooters were soaked. It was terrifying.

The stuff in the toilet was floating out.

Eh. Do you remember when A-Wan kept yelling…

[both] "Poop's floating! Poop's floating!"

You were even dumber.

You watched the poop float

-and still asked me… -"Want to be together?"

Yeah.

That was so lame.

-The timing was awful. -How was that lame?

You still remember that, right? That means it was unforgettable.

I thought you were joking back then.

Joking?

I was so serious.

I kept asking you, "Want to be together?"

I was being serious, but you just laughed.

What do you say?

To what?

Want to be together?

[gentle music plays]

Should we go to my room or yours?

I'm fine with either.

Let's go to your room.

[theme music playing]

THEY SAY OUR BRAINS PRODUCE MORE THAN 6,000 THOUGHTS A DAY

AND THAT IT'S MORE COMPLEX THAN THE UNIVERSE.

SO, IT'LL TAKE A LIFETIME TO UNDERSTAND IT.

[phone chimes]

[pleasant music playing on screen]

[woman on laptop] Your presence fills me with happiness.

I want to be with you every day,

past, present, and future.

Please let me form part of your happiness.

What if…

We switch it up?

If…

Let me try again.

If I could do it over…

You want another version?

Stop cutting!

Let me finish. Do you have bricks in your ears again?

[Lin] Mmm.

Say it. What's on your mind?

"What if" what?

Would we still

be together…

if we could do it all over again?

Where do you want to start over?

After graduation or…

When you went to London to get your master's degree

and disappeared into thin air?

Or when you got married, then divorced, and vanished for ten years?

Okay, I deserved that.

I had no clue what I was doing. I was just wandering around.

Until I returned and heard you were going to get married.

That was when I realized what I'd lost.

[music playing on laptop]

Okay, what if…

What if, when I came back,

you were single?

Would we be together today?

[woman on laptop] Don't come near me. You're so annoying.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe?

Does "maybe" mean yes or no?

It's…

fifty-fifty.

Really that low?

That's sky-high! How much more do you want?

100%, of course!

Eh! I'm so talented.

[scoffs] Really?

Absolutely!

And…

We would've gotten hitched right away. We would've had a wedding to remember!

[upbeat music playing]

[yelling]

Move!

Go on stage.

Come on! Come on!

Get on stage.

You… Get on all fours!

Do it! On your knees!

Do it!

Get down!

[crowd chanting]

[yelling]

[groaning]

Whoo!

That'd be insane!

Awesome, right?

-[sighs] That's great! -Mmm.

Could we have gone to Paris for our honeymoon?

Of course.

We could go every year.

[both] Mmm.

Can we not live with your parents?

Of course!

My mom is not a fan of living with me.

Let's…

stay childfree

forever.

-Mmm. -Perfect, right?

Perfect.

[pleasant music plays]

Ew!

What? What's wrong?

You thought of all this?

Ew!

I just thought about it. I didn't do anything.

Ew!

Stop saying "ew!" You love eating poop, huh?

Okay, no more jokes.

-Is there anything else to change? -I'm not joking.

-[keyboard clacks] -I'm serious.

It's no use.

All your "what ifs" are hypothetical.

You can't replay your life in a click.

No matter how good it could've been… There's no going back.

Any more thoughts to share? If not, let's sign off on the cut.

That's it then.

[Paul] Mmm.

[Lin] Mmm.

[whispering] Bye.

-Thanks for everything. -Okay.

Bye.

Call us if you need anything.

Here.

I can take it.

Got it?

-[Zeng] Lu… -[Lu] Mmm?

[Zeng] …this is for Shu.

You're so kind, but it's okay. I'll buy him one.

It okay. He can have it. I bought a few more.

A few more?

-I got four of them. -[chuckles]

Thanks, Senpai.

-You're welcome. I'll put it here. -Okay.

Uh, what do you usually like to eat?

Nothing special.

Oh, any special dietary requirements?

I guess not.

Do you prefer rice or noodles?

Rice, I guess.

Mmm. Okay.

♪ The summer breeze ♪

♪ Hugs us ♪

[Zeng humming]

♪ Both ♪

♪ You're my ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ You love me ♪

-Sorry. Were you hurt? -No.

-Were you hurt, Shu? -No.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

[gentle music plays]

[inaudible conversation]

I-LING: DID YOU EAT?

XUE-YOU: YUP.

I-LING: ARE YOU OKAY?

NO ANSWER.

I'M TAKING THE TRAIN HOME THIS AFTERNOON

[sighs]

[in English] Coffee, tea, or me?

Coffee.

[Pau in Chinese] Here you go.

[sighs]

Tie your robe properly, okay?

Why?

You think I'm too sexy?

Whatever you say.

Haven't you met anyone decent on the dating apps?

Yeah, lots.

Just no one I like.

When I heard you were getting married,

I prayed.

I prayed that you'd marry a jerk

and get divorced fast.

Damn, you're so mean!

I can't help it.

I hate Zeng Xue-you so much. How can someone be like that?

Like what?

-What's so bad about him? -Everything.

Have you ever heard him swear? Have you heard him badmouth someone else?

Nope, never.

He thinks everyone is nice.

He treated me like a friend when we first met.

If I were a scammer…

I'd mess with him all the time. I'd ruin him.

But no, he'd just be chill about it.

You're so harsh on him every day, even I pity him.

Oh, yeah? So what do you actually hate about him?

I hate him because he's too nice.

I wish he were a jerk.

I think you actually like him.

Should I help you tell him?

No, thanks. I'm a pro at telling people I like them.

I've been doing that since nursery school.

Stop acting so tough.

Men are simple.

Give him some encouragement sometimes,

and he's all yours, fully at your disposal.

Encouragement?

What do you mean?

What you do and say means a lot.

Just smile and soften up.

He'll be fine.

Just look at Aragaki Yui.

When she smiles, she's so cute and sweet.

Men kneel down before her.

-Just smile? -Yeah, try it.

[laughs sarcastically]

[Paul sighs]

-Are your clients happy? -Yeah, they are.

Thanks to her.

She grinned like Annabelle.

You want me to laugh again?

That's how you laugh when you're possessed by a devil.

[eerie music plays]

Any questions about this new cut?

[cracking]

No questions at all!

[laughing]

[laughter echoing]

Take her for an exorcism now. Don't bring the bad vibes home.

Didn't you need to poop?

Why the slow goodbye? Bye!

You don't want your laptop after work?

You've been doing well.

If you two divorce,

I'll be the first in line to marry you.

What are you talking about?

Why are you still here? Go away now. Hurry back home. Goodbye.

-[Paul] Bye. -Bye.

[Paul] Bye.

[gentle music plays]

This is for you.

I am sorry.

I…

I was being inconsiderate.

It's my fault. I should've spoken to you first.

Thank you.

I'm sorry too.

So what should we do now?

Wing it like a bird.

That joke is old. Even Dad wouldn't tell it.

I think it's funny.

Why's this shorter? Did you lend it to someone?

A coworker borrowed it.

I'll talk to Mom later.

Mmm.

Let's go.

[indistinct conversation]

You're home.

Hello, Aunt.

Hi, Aunt.

-Hi, Aunt. -You look great.

-Hi, Cousin. -Hello.

Hi, Aunt.

So sweet of you.

-So sweet. -Hello.

So sweet.

-Hi! -You're the perfect match.

-So handsome. -Dad.

-Hello, Uncle! -Hello, Uncle!

Hi, Dad.

-Hello, Uncle! -[Zeng] Hi.

We're heading upstairs. You all can talk.

I looked around.

The best spot for bearing a son…

is here.

So, Master, you mean we should put their bed here?

Mmm.

Sure.

You can try this, the talisman for bearing a son.

This Kylin will bring blessings for a son.

-These have been consecrated. -[gasps]

Place them by their bedside.

It will help them.

But for the best effect,

their bed should be here.

This is the best spot to bear a son. The success rate is 90%.

Great!

Thank you.

Thank you, Master.

Thank you, Master.

Thank you.

Thank you, Master.

Thank you.

-Thank you, Master. -[yells]

[in English] What the fuck?

[in English] To Rain…

[in Chinese] …if one person has more than 6,000 thoughts a day,

imagine a group of people all together.

The universe would explode!

[woman] A house filled with grandchildren!

[all laughing]

[Ms. Wu] No touching. Thank you, Master…

[theme music playing]

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