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[in Chinese] Move forward a bit.

Hey! Hey!

Here. Want me to go further?

[sighs]

-Zeng Xue-you! -Ah?

Bring it back to me!

[comical music plays]

What? What?

Move forward a bit.

Move your butt forward.

Sorry.

How did I end up with you?

-Ready? -Yep.

Hold on tight.

TO SUNNY: MAYBE IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO'S FASTER OR SLOWER.

MAYBE YOU'RE GOING DIFFERENT PLACES.

[theme music playing]

[ticking]

Time to clock out!

Time to clock out.

Time to clock out.

Bye, everyone.

-Bye, A-chi. Bye. -Bye.

Work is done.

[gunshots on screen]

[laughter on phone]

[Zeng] Wives often wonder

why their husbands work overtime.

[sighs]

The answer is actually simple.

It's because… they just don't want to go home.

[cell phone chimes]

SPACIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE

THE KING OF BUILDING BLOCKS

-I'll leave this to you. -Oh.

Sorry, I have to go pick up my kid.

-Okay. -Thank you.

Bye.

-Bye. -Bye.

Bye.

Are you working overtime today?

Yeah, that's rare.

Don't you usually eat at home?

My wife is mad at me.

-Whoa! -Mad about what?

She's mad mom won't let us move out.

[man 1] Not only is your wife upset, but your mom is upset too.

-[man 2] Oh, no! -[cell phone chimes]

Awesome! Everyone, my wife took our daughter to her mother's.

[man 2] Congratulations!

Lu, is your son at Healthy Daycare?

-Yep. -Awesome!

The stir-fry place next door to the daycare is great, everyone!

Everyone, this is a great moment.

Whoa!

-Boss. -Here.

Here are your beers. Tell me if you want more.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

-Hey. -Mmm?

How long is your wife visiting her mom?

Three days.

Three days.

-Let's celebrate! -[all whooping]

Shu,

I'll drink juice with you.

Don't any of you like to go home?

It's not that I don't like going home,

but sometimes, after working all day, I just want to collapse on the couch.

My wife will say,

"Baby, will you check the kids' homework?"

"I've been talking business all day. Can I just rest at home?"

Let me rest." But then she gets upset.

"I also have to work. I'm tired too. Blah, blah, blah."

Yeah. Everyone knows you're tired.

-Right? -We are tired too.

-Yeah. -Right?

Do clothes need to be washed every day? The dishes can wait.

Listen to this. My wife says dirty dishes attract cockroaches.

-Right. -Then I won't wait until tomorrow.

But I can rest for a bit first. It's not like I'm not helping.

"Just wait a second."

Hey, hey. Never! If my wife hears "wait a second…"

[mimics explosion]

What do you talk about at home?

What can we talk about? We say the same few words every day.

"Did you buy dinner? Pick up the kid?"

"Did you pay the mortgage? Take out the trash?"

Every day's the same thing.

Seriously, the same few sentences.

What about A-chi? He leaves as soon as work ends.

He's different. No.

-Before he picks up his kid… -He waits three hours.

[all laughing]

Three hours?

He waits in the car to kill time.

What does he do in there?

Nothing really. He sleeps, plays games, watches the NBA…

He seems more at home in his car.

You know how his desk is super messy?

He piles up a lot of trash,

but his car is super clean.

[gentle music plays]

He also has an air purifier in it.

And he even uses essential oils.

[exhales deeply]

He loves his car more than his wife.

-[Zeng] Mmm. -[all laughing]

Hey, what about your wife?

Yeah.

She…

She scolds me sometimes.

But I think…

it's scarier when she's quiet.

[tense music plays]

-[water running] -[humming]

[tense music swells]

[tense music swelling]

[sighs]

-[music stops] -[urine trickles]

[whistling]

-[urine trickles] -[whistles]

[urine flowing]

[sighs]

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

I'm drinking from a glass.

[tense music plays]

Trust me, when I peed just now, I sat down.

[tense music swells]

I took a shower this morning.

[tense music intensifies]

Why get so worked up about it?

Why should she be mad?

I just didn't notice.

Right? Right?

-[man 1] Mmm. -[Lu] Mmm.

[man 1] Mmm. Mmm.

Let's cheers!

-Right? -Yeah. Be careful next time, okay?

Look carefully. Check next time.

All right, it's fine.

Let's drink.

But women work long hours like men,

and then handle the kids and housework.

It's exhausting.

No.

-Actually, this is a social issue. -True.

Women can say they're tired,

or that they have cramps,

or they feel moody.

But guys can't complain.

We're expected to bear the weight of responsibility.

Women are usually loud,

but cry when something happens and expect us men to fix it.

In fights, we have to apologize,

even when it's not our fault, or we risk an argument that lasts all night.

[man 2] Please, no.

She brings up old stuff to scold me.

It's exhausting.

We men are taught to endure pain.

Since childhood, we've been taught that men do not shed tears.

But sometimes, I just want to cry.

We're mentally tired too. At home, I just want to slack off.

-It's not too much to ask! -It's not too much to ask!

All right. Let's drink.

Cheers!

-[man 3] Let's drink. -Cheers!

[man 3] Cheers!

Eat shit!

Men love to make excuses

for being lazy and stupid.

Men intentionally mess things up

to irritate you, so you have to intervene.

Jerks.

Don't be angry.

Forgive them.

Men are slow to mature.

They mature at 40.

I don't think they're mature even at 40.

That's because they start aging quickly.

After everyone sings "Happy Birthday" on their 40th birthday,

they immediately start aging.

They're only mature for one day?

No, dear, I'm telling you

there's no perfect partner.

Good men are raised.

It's like teaching a dog.

You throw him a piece of meat, then say "shake."

Throw him more, say "shake."

Look. That's his reflex.

Right?

He eventually connects meat with "shake."

Then he understands what you mean.

I gave him meat all right.

What else does he want?

If he wants me to do tricks, we need to move out first.

For you, moving out is freedom,

but for him, it's disrespecting his parents.

Think about him, okay?

Disrespectful my ass!

He says it's respect, but he just enjoys being babied by his mom.

If you move out, you'll become his mom.

I want to move out and help him become independent.

But when we're living at home, anything I do is stopped by his mom.

He's lived at home for 30-plus years.

Asking him to move out is like forcing him to cut ties.

You're forcing him to choose you and his mom.

Could you choose?

Mmm, mmm. That's so reasonable… Not!

I'm not asking him to never see his mom.

After moving out, he can still go home whenever he wants.

I want a divorce.

-Divorce. -Divorce.

-[NaNa] Divorce. -Divorce.

-Divorce. -[Chi] Divorce.

Those who threaten divorce every day never do it.

[NaNa] Mmm-hmm.

What are you doing here?

Drinking.

-You have no wine at home? -No 10k wine at home.

10,000 TWD?

This bottle costs 10,000?

Who bought it?

I got it from a vendor.

Does he like you?

Yeah.

Ugh.

I've tried not to smile at him.

Wow. Lucky you!

Breakfast with a secret admirer.

Bus rides with strangers that flirt with you…

You're a man magnet!

Chi, if I were you,

I would date a guy with every zodiac

and every star signs.

-Ah! -No.

Dating is so troublesome.

Debating on restaurants takes forever.

If he wants something I don't, I still have to go along.

Then I pay for food I don't even want.

It's such a bad deal.

Food should be something you crave.

Not sure why she's talking about food, but what she said is inspiring.

She's happy every day!

What are you doing here?

Drinking wine worth 10,000 TWD.

Don't you have any friends?

I have friends, okay!

I have a friend who fucking loves whining. She does whatever she wants.

If her husband weren't so nice, he would've killed her by now.

To clarify, who does whatever they want?

Says the one who wanted to take home a bathtub she found.

There you go, bringing up college stuff again!

It would've come in handy as a great movie prop.

-Riding a moped with a bathtub? -We could've put it on our heads.

It's dangerous.

Oh! You two were friends in college?

They also dated.

Ooh!

Did you make out?

We never did that. We broke up after a week.

A week? It was more than a month.

Thirty-seven days!

Really?

Thirty-seven days?

How could I be that nice?

[NaNa] So you two…

So lame!

Thirty-seven days without…

-It was so sad. -[coughs]

No.

We didn't party or drink.

I'm coming straight home.

-Bye. -Bye.

-I catch the bus there. -Uh-huh.

-Bye. -Bye.

Let's go home now.

Let's go play on the slide!

Shu.

Has it been a month since you joined us?

Mmm. One month exactly.

So far, so good?

Mmm. I still have a lot to learn.

Sorry for clocking out immediately every day.

No worries. I know you need to pick up Shu.

Thank you.

-Can I ask you a question? -Mmm?

-Uh, here it goes. -Mmm…

Are you…

divorced?

Oh… [chuckles]

I never got married.

-Huh? -[chuckles]

Sorry.

Mmm. After I graduated from college,

and I came to Taipei with Shu's dad to find a job.

Only to find that I was pregnant when I got the job.

[melancholy music plays]

I wanted to marry and kept the baby, but he wasn't ready.

He kept asking me to get an abortion, and we argued a lot.

One day, when I came home,

all his stuff was gone.

He just left.

He didn't say anything.

[sighs]

Did…

Did he know you had baby Shu?

But… he never showed up.

Later, I found out that…

he got married soon after he left.

Once, Shu asked me…

"Why don't I have a dad?"

Is it because I'm bad?"

Sometimes,

seeing other families together makes me sad.

[sniffles, sighs]

Did I make the wrong choice?

I didn't give Shu a full family.

[sniffing]

I'm being emotional. [chuckles]

I'm sorry.

Sorry, I couldn't find any tissue.

[laughs]

What about you?

Don't you want kids?

-Me? -Mmm.

I really do.

But my wife…

doesn't want kids.

Before marriage, I knew she didn't want them.

But…

I've always wondered if

she'd change her mind later.

She hasn't?

Mmm. No.

[kids chattering, laughing]

What is this? Is this for me?

Mom, I want to marry you.

You want to marry me?

Yes, I want to marry Mommy.

But I want to date someone else.

You'll have your own wife.

-I'll divorce her first. -[chuckles]

Are you done playing? Ready to go home?

[all yelling]

-[Lu] I'm going to catch you. -I'm right here.

[Lu] I 'm going to catch you.

[man] Your son runs so fast.

Where are you? Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

[pleasant music plays]

Give me your umbrella.

-Thank you. -Okay.

-I'll hold it. -It's fine. I can manage.

[NaNa] Do you need a ride?

No need.

Go to sleep now.

-I'm going to sleep. -Me too.

You should go home.

I will.

Good night.

-Good night. -[NaNa] Ah! I am really tired.

I am tired.

IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO'S FASTER OR SLOWER. MAYBE YOU'RE GOING DIFFERENT PLACES.

[Yi-Ling in English] To Rain.

[in Chinese] Why would they head to different places?

MAYBE NO ONE ASKED HIM WHERE HE WANTS TO GO.

Or maybe he changed his mind on the trip.

Isn't that how travel works?

After walking for a while, you might want to go other places too.

Then why didn't he say it?

Maybe

doesn't want to ruin a fun trip.

Where are you from?

-Taipei. -[Yi-Ling] Oh.

Maybe we'll meet someday.

We might have met before.

Like what Eileen Chang said about love.

"When you meet the one among the millions,"

"when amid millions of years,

"across the borderless wastes of time, you happen to catch him or her,

"neither a step too early

"nor a step too late,

"what else is there to do

"except to ask softly,

"Oh…

So you're here too?"

Why does it… sound a bit sad?

Because love is unpredictable.

When you meet the one, seize the moment.

Once lost, it's gone.

We better not meet.

Why?

If we meet,

you'll discover that I'm a blunt, wild person.

Not mother material.

You… don't like kids?

[sighs]

I have a sister and two brothers.

My family sells red tortoise cakes

at the market.

When I was young, my parents were busy.

They didn't have time for us.

I had to take care of my siblings.

I've been a mom since I was ten. I raised three kids.

I feel like I've had enough.

[somber music plays]

-[baby crying] -[mock crying]

I don't want to eat veggies!

[Yi-Ling] Mom, my sister isn't eating her veggies again.

-I don't want to eat veggies. -[Yi-Ling] Eat it!

I don't want to eat veggies!

[boy crying]

[Yi-Ling] Mom, my little brother took his diaper off again!

[girl] I don't want to eat veggies.

[Yi-Ling] Baby?

Baby?

Mom, the baby's gone!

Mom!

Mom, baby--

Mom, I stepped in poop!

Mom!

[gasps]

What should we have for breakfast?

It's morning already?

[in English] Shit!

[in Chinese] All right, I'll poop for you later.

[gasps] Can I borrow your motorcycle?

Calm down. I told Xue-you you stayed here.

I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about his mother!

Oh!

[engine revving]

[upbeat rock music playing]

[Yi-Ling in English] To Rain.

[in Chinese] Even in a million years, we won't meet

because I'm going to die today!

[in English] Shit!

[woman 1 in Chinese] Ms. Wu, I didn't see your son's wife today.

She didn't come home yesterday.

[woman 2] Really?

Where did she stay?

At her friend's.

Why are young people so casual now?

[woman 1] Ms. Wu, is her friend a guy or a girl?

I didn't ask.

It's young people stuff. Let's not gossip.

[woman 1] Ms. Wu, you're too kind.

That's why she's getting bossier.

How can a married person sleep away from home?

Is this okay?

Times are different now.

Young people want their own lives.

We must respect them.

Don't mind, don't ask, don't nag.

If you overreact, they'll be unhappy.

But no one does that.

-[woman 1] See you around. -[Ms. Wu] Okay.

[woman 1] I heard she doesn't want kids.

-She just wants to have fun. -[woman 2] Her son is so pitiful.

-[woman 3] Who are we talking about? -[woman 2] Ms. Wu.

Her son's wife slept at someone's place.

[woman 1] Yeah.

[woman 3] Her son's wife slept at someone else's place?

You slept with people! Your whole family slept with people!

-[woman 2] Is this her son's wife? -[woman 1] Yeah.

[Yi-Ling in English] Shit!

[woman 2 in Chinese] That's what she said.

[Yi-Ling in English] Shit!

[in Chinese] I'm doomed. [sighs]

I'm doomed. I'm doomed. I'm doomed. I'm doomed.

I'm doomed--

[pleasant music plays]

Are you okay?

[theme music playing]

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