Original subtitles

♪ Who's the improbable duo that you heard about? ♪

♪ Faster than a scooter Stronger than metal ♪

♪ Who's the little girl And her domesticated rodent? ♪

♪ Who's still standing when You see the dust settle? ♪

♪ It's Hamster Hamster, Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ If they can't do it Then nobody can ♪

♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ There's also Kevin in the minivan ♪

I can't wait to see Kevin.

I know it's only been two weeks, but it feels like it's been forever.

What type of camp did he go to again?

It was just like a retreat where people go to de-stress.

Well, he definitely needed it.

What with his disastrous date with Hiromi.

Exclamation's big elbow suit monster.

The much greater evil coming to destroy us all.

Yeah, it all kind of did a number on him.

[screaming]

[screaming and gurgling]

Anyway, I bet he'll be more laser-focused than ever.

You know, back to being our Kevin.

Uh...

Ah...

My nears and dears.

Reunion circle?

[inhales and exhales deeply]

Where are your regular clothes?

They're in a suitcase on the...

bus.

Oh, well, clothes are just the woven shackles of society.

All right. Who are you and what have you done with Kevin?

I'm a changed man.

I went on a magical journey.

♪ When your whole world is falling apart ♪

♪ When your phone won't charge and your car won't start ♪

♪ You can let it pile up and get you down ♪

♪ Or you can listen to us We'll turn it around ♪

♪ You've got so many things you're going through ♪

♪ Take it from us ♪

♪ We've been there, too ♪

♪ You just stress in a ball, it's a mess after all ♪

♪ You could use a break ♪

♪ Here's the best advice you can take ♪

♪ Don't sweat it ♪

♪ Don't sweat the small stuff ♪

♪ Just forget it ♪

♪ Don't you know it's all stuff ♪

♪ You don't have to worry about ♪

♪ Get out of your head ♪

♪ Yeah, we'll teach you how to... ♪

♪ Don't sweat it, don't sweat the small stuff ♪

♪ Now you get it ♪

♪ Now that's big enough ♪

♪ For you to have to worry ♪

♪ And we already said it ♪

♪ So, don't sweat it ♪

All that planning and overthinking was driving me nuts.

I'm totally chill now.

No girlfriend, no powers, no problem.

But what about the much greater evil that's coming?

Those are the alien's exact words.

Meh, the universe has a way of sorting things out.

No, Kevin, this might be the big one!

Worse than everything so far.

Don't sweat it, Gretel.

Oh, speaking of sweats, you should all join me at the beach yoga class today.

It will really center you guys.

I'm good, thanks.

I'm not taking life advice from a man wearing a macaroni necklace.

It's rigatoni.

[sniffing]

[sighs] Hello, little flower.

You know how to enjoy life, don't you?

So, Kevin, I'm really happy that you're way less stressed now

and that you've discovered flowy cotton separates.

- But shouldn't we be- - Gretel, Gretel, Gretel.

Take in the scenery and enjoy the beckoning horizon.

There's no need to worry.

I'm not the one who worries. I'm not good at it.

Worrying is your thing.

And someone at some point will need to worry.

Not today. It's a perfect worry-free day.

I'm gonna go and get us some chamomile flan before yoga starts.

Oh!

- [squawking] - [sighs]

I was looking to unplug anyway.

Enjoy the family bundle, Mr. Seagull.

Are you freaking out?

Because I'm kind of freaking out.

Breaking news. I'm still single.

And so are all these other desperate, desperate people

here at the largest singles event in the tri-state area.

I'll be joining the cruise today in a professional and personal capacity.

[chuckles] One, please.

This is gonna be your year.

[Clem] Foolish singles looking for love.

Not on my watch.

Time to make this boat go ca-clamo!

You know, like ka-blamo but with clams.

[laughs mischievously]

Who am I talking to? I crack myself up.

Hmm, hamster, i hate to make assumptions,

but that large shouldered guy

just pulled out an evil looking device.

- Should we go check it out? - Probably.

As you breathe in the downward dog position,

consider what kind of dog you are.

Kevin, there's a really weird guy on the boat--

[everyone shushes]

Gretel, I am trying to find my inner basset hound.

- Let me mellow. - But-- but I'm worried that--

Don't be worried.

- Just be calm. - [all] Om...

[sighs] Fine. Let's go, Hamster!

Your form is terrible.

And that's how I got into reporting.

That's nice.

I sell loose piano keys for a living.

I mean, it's not a very lucrative profession, but I really enjoy it.

Hey, hey, do you need an F sharp--

Oh, not again.

I should have been a famous astronaut like my brother.

Do you want a moon rock?

Maybe...

I don't see him anywhere, Hamster.

Maybe Kevin is right.

Maybe we should just go with--

[exclaiming]

[all screaming]

No!

Come here often?

Come on, Hamster!

[gulping]

Hey, let go of that wheel!

[Clem] Hamster and Gretel?

[captain, muffled] Hamster and Gretel?

Slow this boat down right now!

[Clem] What's that you say?

Go even faster?

[laughs]

Who are you?

[Clem] The name's Clem.

Clem Clam.

So what we thought were broad shoulders was just your clam head

stuffed into a jacket, and what we thought was your head

I was just a mannequin head stuck on top of your clam head?

Yes.

Weirdest catfishing ever.

Okay, so why are you doing whatever it is you're doing?

Let me explain.

Yeah, I think we're going to need to sit down for this one.

I wasn't always a man with a clam for a head.

I was a man with a head for a head.

One day I went to a singles event at Clam Bake.

I was hoping to meet the love of my life

over some baked bivalves as you do.

- I know we just met-- - Yes!

[Clem] I didn't match with anyone.

Sad, hungry and still single,

I sat under a pier feeling sorry for myself.

Unaware that right above me,

the guy was dumping a bag of clam chowder.

I ordered clam powder, not clam chowder!

[Clem] At the same time, some other guy was pouring out of a vat of toxic waste.

I ordered toxic paste, not toxic waste!

[Clem] It all mixed together, turning me into the creature that stands before you.

And then no one wanted to date me.

So your solution is to sail too fast?

Yeah, I don't follow.

[Clem] You fools!

I've set up a toxic clam chowder device

which is linked to the boat's GPS.

When we reach international waters,

it'll go off turning all these singles into freaks like me,

drastically increasing my dating pool.

And I'll get away with it, too, because there are no laws

on international waters, baby!

As far as I understand it anyway.

Not on our watch!

Clam dude punch!

Ow!

How's about some pearls?

I don't have the heart to tell him

that pearls come from oysters!

This is Veronica Hill

reporting from yet another date that has gone horribly awry.

It seems a half man, half clam creature has hijacked the boat.

Looks like he's heading to international waters where there are no laws, baby.

That's my understanding of it anyways.

[sighs] I'm sure Gretel can handle it.

- Can you handle it? - Well, I'm really trying,

but this guy keeps shooting pearls and my super punches aren't working.

Oh. At least she has Hamster.

Breaking news, the clammy creature

has trapped superhero Hamster inside of its mouth.

Oh, no, I wonder how this works into the universe's plan.

[Veronica] The universe must have it out for Gretel.

It does not look like she will win this one.

If only she had someone who cared enough to worry about it.

[straining]

- Gretel! - Breathe into this perfect worry-free--

[yelling]

[man groans]

Hey!

[panting]

Whoa! Who are you?

Just go, go, go!

Who are you?

Just keep going!

Just keep going.

You'll never get away with this.

Let Hamster go!

[gasps]

- Kevin! - [seagull squawks]

What's going on?

Bad clam trapped Hamster inside.

Need to disable device before international waters or chowder explosion.

Okay, I'll take care of the device and Hamster.

You go slow down the boat.

Yoink!

You want it back? You'll have to catch me.

[panting]

What's going on? Where's Hamster?

- Wait for it. - Wait for what?

Didn't you know steam makes clams open up?

Oh, Hamster, you're okay! Hamster?

Give me a second. I'm trying to beat my high score.

Wow, We really went through something together today.

Will you marry me?

Yeah. Okay.

[Veronica] Darn it!

The one that got away.

In addition to the many others that got away.

But there is one who didn't get away today.

You can't arrest me.

I was on international waters.

Sorry, pal.

You were three nautical millimeter short.

At least that's my understanding of it anyways.

Hey, Kev. I'm sorry I took you out of your chilled out vibe.

- But-- - It's okay, little G.

- Don't sweat it. - But I want to sweat it.

You don't have to do the worrying all on your own.

I can worry a little for you and you can hero a little for me.

We'll split it.

Deal. That way, I could be a little bit more laid back and...

My phone! No! Drop it!

Drop it! No, no, no!

Don't drop it! Land! Land!

And he's back.

[Kevin screaming]