Original subtitles

Woody Allen: WRITING IS THE GREAT LIFE,

'CAUSE YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

YOU WRITE IN YOUR ROOM.

YOU KNOW, IN THE ROOM,

EVERYTHING IS GREAT, YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO DELIVER.

SO YOU WRITE IT, AND YOU IMAGINE

IT'S "CITIZEN KANE" OR, YOU KNOW,

EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS GREAT.

BUT WHEN YOU HAVE TO THEN TAKE IT OUT AND DO IT,

THEN REALITY SETS IN.

THEN ALL YOUR SCHEMES ABOUT MAKING A MASTERPIECE

ARE REDUCED TO,

"I'LL PROSTITUTE MYSELF ANY WAY I HAVE TO,

TO SURVIVE THIS CATASTROPHE."

[ "SING, SING SING" PLAYING ]

Diane Keaton: [ GIGGLES ]

I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYBODY LIKE WOODY.

I'VE NEVER MET ANYBODY LIKE WOODY.

Larry David: YOU CAN'T COMPARE ANYBODY TO WOODY ALLEN.

Doug McGrath: HIS RANGE IS AMAZING.

YOU HAVE ONLY TO LOOK AT "BANANAS" AND "MATCH POINT."

Scarlett Johansson: IF YOU'D ASKED ME

WHAT DIRECTORS I WANTED TO WORK WITH,

WOODY ALLEN WOULD'VE BEEN AT THE TOP OF MY LIST.

Naomi Watts: HE IS, WITHOUT QUESTION,

THE BEST ACTOR'S DIRECTOR I'VE EVER WORKED WITH.

Martin Scorsese: NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE STAYING POWER,

NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE TENACITY,

AND NOT EVERYBODY HAS SO MUCH TO SAY.

Mira Sorvino: THE DAY THAT HE FINISHES EDITING A FILM

IS THE DAY HE STARTS TYPING THE SCRIPT OF THE NEXT.

HE NEVER TAKES ANY TIME OFF.

Leonard Maltin: FOURTEEN SCREENPLAY NOMINATIONS.

FOURTEEN.

Chris Rock: WHO THE HELL IS GOOD FOR 20 YEARS?

THIS GUY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR 40 YEARS.

HE'S KIND OF PEERLESS.

Sean Penn: IT'S NOT JUST

THAT WE'RE STILL INTERESTED IN WOODY ALLEN.

HE'S STILL INTERESTED IN TELLING STORIES.

Keaton: ON THE ONE HAND, HE'D BE BRILLIANT,

AND HIS INSIGHTS WERE AMAZING,

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, HE'D BE AN IDIOT.

Mariel Hemingway: HE'S ALSO NOT NORMAL.

[Laughs] YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT OF THE NORMAL STOCK.

Marshall Brickman: NEUROSIS, FEARS, PHOBIAS...

Josh Brolin: A BIT ADOLESCENT, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

Keaton: HE IS A LITTLE BIT OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

Johansson: HE'S CRIPPLINGLY SHY.

Tony Roberts: OH, HE'S DEFINITELY A LITTLE NUTTY.

Owen Wilson: HE REALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE.

HE'S A BIG HUGGER.

[Laughs] NO.

Brickman: I REMEMBER WHEN WOODY WAS THE ANTI-CHRIST.

David: AND BY THE WAY, THE ONE THING THAT I DIDN'T MENTION

IS THAT HE'S ALSO VERY FUNNY.

Allen: SO MUCH OF WHAT'S FILTERED OUT

ABOUT ME OVER THE YEARS HAS BEEN COMPLETELY MYTHOLOGICAL.

I MEAN, COMPLETELY, YOU KNOW, EXAGGERATED

OR DOWNRIGHT UNTRUE.

SOME OF IT'S BEEN TRUE, OF COURSE.

WOULD YOU ENTER, MYSTERY CHALLENGER, AND SIGN IN, PLEASE?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

F.X. Feeney: SPEAK OF MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT WOODY ALLEN.

WHICH WOODY ALLEN?

THERE ARE ACTUALLY SO MANY.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE THE STAND-UP COMIC,

THE AUTHOR OF CASUAL PIECES FOR THE NEW YORKER

IN THE TRADITION OF S.J. PERELMAN.

ARE YOU IN THE ENTERTAINMENT FIELD?

[High-pitched voice] YES.

Feeney: YOU HAVE THE CLARINETIST.

ARE YOU A NIGHTCLUB ENTERTAINER?

MM, YES.

Feeney: YOU HAVE THE PLAYWRIGHT.

ARE YOU PRIMARILY KNOWN FOR YOUR WORK IN THE FILMS?

NO.

HE WAS MANY THINGS BEFORE HE BECAME A FILMMAKER.

ARE YOU FEMALE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

NO.

I THINK FILM BECAME INEVITABLE

BECAUSE HE COULD BRING TOGETHER

ALL THE THINGS THAT HE EXCELLED AT.

TO REALLY CONTEXTUALIZE WOODY ALLEN

IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN CINEMA,

ONE DOES HAVE TO GO BACK TO CHARLIE CHAPLIN.

THE IDEA OF AN ACTOR WHO BECOMES THE WRITER,

THE DIRECTOR, THE TRUE AUTEUR,

WHO PLACES HIMSELF

AT THE CENTER OF THAT CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

CONSISTENTLY THROUGH A NUMBER OF FILMS,

SO THAT ULTIMATELY THE PERSONA DOES ENTER THE CULTURE.

I MEAN, THE REALITY IS,

WOODY ALLEN HAS MANAGED TO DO THAT IN OUR OWN TIME.

I USED TO THINK THAT WOODY WAS

ESSENTIALLY A WRITERLY SENSIBILITY.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I'VE SEEN, YOU KNOW,

JUST A STEADY, STEADY GROWTH

IN HIS SKILLS AS A FILMMAKER,

COMPLEMENTING HIS SKILLS AS A WRITER.

I THINK, YOU KNOW, HE'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS WE GET.

MY PARENTS WERE NOT PRO- WOODY GOING INTO SHOW BUSINESS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THEY WANTED HIM TO BE A PHARMACIST.

HE WAS THE WRONG PERSON BORN TO THOSE PARENTS.

THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.

[ SWING PLAYING ]

Allen: MY MOTHER ALWAYS USED TO SAY

I WAS A VERY SWEET, HAPPY KID RIGHT FROM THE START,

AND THEN SOMEWHERE AROUND 5 OR SO,

I TURNED GRUMPIER OR SOUR.

I CAN ONLY THINK, WHEN I BECAME AWARE OF MY MORTALITY,

I DIDN'T LIKE THAT IDEA.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THIS ENDS?

THIS, YOU KNOW, THIS IS --

THIS DOESN'T GO ON LIKE THIS?

NO, IT ENDS.

YOU KNOW, YOU -- YOU VANISH FOREVER.

ONCE I REALIZED THAT, I THOUGHT, "HEY, YOU KNOW, DEAL ME OUT.

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY IN THIS GAME."

AND I NEVER WAS THE SAME AFTER THAT.

HE'S BEEN DEPRESSED.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

WHY ARE YOU DEPRESSED, ALVY?

TELL DR. FLICKER.

IT'S SOMETHING HE READ.

SOMETHING YOU READ, HUH?

THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING.

Dr. Flicker: THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING?

WELL, THE UNIVERSE IS EVERYTHING,

AND IF IT'S EXPANDING, SOMEDAY IT WILL BREAK APART,

AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF EVERYTHING.

WHAT IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS?!

HE'S STOPPED DOING HIS HOMEWORK!

WHAT'S THE POINT?

AND THAT THOUGHT OVER THE YEARS

TOOK DIFFERENT FORMS AS I LATER GOT OLDER

AND ALWAYS USED MY CONCENTRATION CAMP EXAMPLE

OF PEOPLE AROUND ME HAVING FUN, ENJOYING THEMSELVES.

AND I WANTED TO SAY, "BUT DON'T YOU REALIZE

"YOU'RE GOING TO GO UP IN A SMOKESTACK,

"YOU KNOW, IN A SHORT WHILE?

"SO WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?

I MEAN, DOESN'T THAT THOUGHT SORT OF PUT A DAMPER ON THINGS?"

I'M NOT SAYING MY GRIM APPRAISAL IS RIGHT.

OF COURSE, I THINK IT IS,

BUT THIS IS ONLY MY PARTICULAR TAKE ON EVERYTHING --

THAT WE ALL KNOW THE SAME TRUTH,

AND OUR LIVES CONSIST OF HOW WE CHOOSE TO DISTORT IT.

[ TRAIN CHUGS ]

[ GLENN MILLER ORCHESTRA'S "MOONLIGHT SERENADE" PLAYING ]

Allen: WHEN I GREW UP, BROOKLYN WAS A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE.

THERE WAS VERY LITTLE TRAFFIC.

YOU COULD STAY OUT ALL DAY LONG PLAYING BALL ON THE STREET.

AND YOU COULDN'T WALK TWO BLOCKS WITHOUT COMING TO A MOVIE HOUSE.

A 15-MINUTE TROLLEY RIDE TO CONEY ISLAND AND THE BEACH.

KIDS WERE SAFE.

I'D LEAVE THE HOUSE AT 8:00 IN THE MORNING

AND COME BACK AT 7:00 AT NIGHT.

AND WHEN I THINK BACK ON ALL THOSE WONDERFUL STORES,

YOU KNOW, BAKERY STORES AND DELICATESSENS

AND CHINESE RESTAURANTS

AND MOVIE HOUSES AND CANDY STORES...

AND IF YOU COULD CUT BACK

TO WHEN I WAS A BOY IN THE EARLY '40s,

YOU KNOW, IT WAS SENSATIONAL.

WE ALWAYS LIVED WITH RELATIVES.

I LIVED WITH COUSINS AND AUNTS AND UNCLES,

AND WE ALMOST NEVER LIVED ALONE.

YOU KNOW, THIS WAS A CARRY-OVER FROM THE DEPRESSION,

WHEN FAMILIES WERE GETTING TOGETHER.

SO IT WAS ALWAYS VERY LIVELY.

PEOPLE DOING THINGS AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER,

AND ACTIVITY.

IT WAS A MADHOUSE ALL THE TIME.

Letty Aronson: WOODY'S ORIGINAL NAME, BIRTH NAME,

WAS ALLAN STEWART KONIGSBERG.

NOW, MY PARENTS ALWAYS CALLED HIM ALLAN.

THEY NEVER STOPPED CALLING HIM ALLAN.

WHAT WAS THE MOST MISERABLE THING ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD?

PROBABLY THE FACT THAT I WAS YOUNG.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, REALLY?

YEAH.

IT WAS.

IF -- IF I COULD HAVE BEEN OLDER AT THE TIME,

I THINK I COULD'VE CARRIED IT OFF MORE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Allen: MY MOTHER USED TO LEAVE ME WITH THESE MAIDS ALL THE TIME

BECAUSE SHE WAS WORKING.

AND I REMEMBER ONE OF THEM WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND I WAS IN MY CRIB AT THE TIME,

EXPLAINING TO ME THAT IF SHE WANTED TO, SHE COULD KILL ME.

THAT SHE COULD SMOTHER ME, AND SHE DEMONSTRATED IT.

SHE COULD WRAP ME IN A BLANKET,

COMPLETELY CUTTING OFF ALL MY AIR,

AND SMOTHER ME AND THEN JUST DUMP ME IN THE GARBAGE OUTSIDE.

IT WAS JUST -- BUT SHE DID DO IT.

I COULDN'T BREATHE FOR A FEW SECONDS,

AND THEN SHE LET ME OUT,

AND, YOU KNOW, ONE WONDERS HOW CLOSE I CAME.

Man: SO IF THAT NANNY WERE JUST LIKE 10% CRAZIER,

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN...

SURE. SURE.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN,

YOU KNOW, THE WORLD BE POORER

A NUMBER OF GREAT ONE-LINERS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MY GRANDFATHER, ON HIS DEATHBED,

SOLD ME THIS WATCH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Louise Lasser: HIS FATHER WAS THE SWEETEST MAN YOU COULD MEET.

HE WAS JUST SO SWEET, AND HE'D CALL US EVERY DAY.

HE'D SAY, "IT'S GOING TO RAIN.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH CANNED GOODS IN THE HOUSE?"

YOU KNOW, WE KNEW MY FATHER AS MARTIN KONIGSBERG.

BUT ACTUALLY, WHEN -- ONE YEAR

WHEN THEY HAD TO GET BIRTH CERTIFICATES,

MY FATHER'S NAME WAS ACTUALLY MAX.

BUT WE ALWAYS KNEW HIM AS MARTIN.

HE WAS BORN IN 1900 AND LIVED TO 100 YEARS OLD.

MY MOTHER WAS NETTIE CHERRY.

SHE WAS BORN IN 1906.

AND SHE LIVED TILL 96.

[ FOLK MUSIC PLAYING ]

OUR FATHER'S PARENTS CAME TO THE UNITED STATES

FROM RUSSIA BY WAY OF ENGLAND.

OUR MOTHER'S FAMILY CAME FROM AUSTRIA.

BUT OUR MOTHER AND FATHER WERE BORN HERE.

HIS FATHER WAS QUITE WEALTHY

AND AT ONE TIME OWNED THE MOVIE THEATER IN BROOKLYN,

MIDWOOD MOVIE THEATER, AND THEN LOST A LOT OF MONEY.

AND HE WAS LIKE EGG CANDLING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

AND MY MOTHER WAS WORKING FOR HIM.

HE THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, RESPONSIBLE

AND MY FATHER WAS NOT.

ANYWAY, HE INTRODUCED MY FATHER TO MY MOTHER,

AND THEY GOT MARRIED.

THEY NEVER GOT ALONG.

THERE WAS A PERIOD OF YEARS WHEN THEY NEVER EVEN SPOKE

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.

IT GOT BETTER ONCE THEY WERE MUCH OLDER.

THEY WERE MARRIED FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER,

BUT FOR MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD THAT I REMEMBER,

THEY ARGUED OR DIDN'T SPEAK.

MY LITTLE ADORABLE FATHER WORKED FOR THE SAME FIRM FOR 14 YEARS.

THEY FIRED HIM.

THEY REPLACED HIM WITH A GADGET THIS BIG.

DOES EVERYTHING THAT MY FATHER DOES,

ONLY IT DOES IT MUCH BETTER, YOU KNOW.

AND THE DEPRESSING THING IS,

MY MOTHER RAN OUT AND BOUGHT ONE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Man: WHAT DID YOUR FATHER DO FOR A LIVING?

THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

HE DID EVERYTHING OVER THE YEARS...

JEWELRY ENGRAVING...

HE WAS A BOOKMAKER FOR A WHILE.

A WAITER AT SAMMY'S BOWERY FOLLIES.

THEN HE WAS -- HE RAN A POOL ROOM.

HE WAS A TAXI DRIVER.

HE WAS A BARTENDER.

HE WAS A WAITER.

HE WAS A JEWELER.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS UNSKILLED LABOR.

YOU KNOW, HE DID ALL KINDS OF THINGS,

SMALL JOBS OVER THE YEARS.

WHAT DO YOU DO, DAD?

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW WHAT THEIR DADS DO FOR A LIVING.

DON'T YOU HAVE ANY HOMEWORK?

HEY, CAN I HAVE 15 CENTS FOR THE NEW MASKED AVENGER RING?

WHAT AM I, MADE OF MONEY?

Woman: PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR SCHOOLWORK

AND LESS TO THE RADIO.

YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO RADIO.

IT'S DIFFERENT.

OUR LIVES ARE RUINED ALREADY.

YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO GROW UP AND BE SOMEBODY.

YOU THINK I WANT YOU WORKING AT THE JOB I DO?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR JOB IS.

Aronson: MY FATHER WAS NOT THE ONE

SAYING, "YOU HAVE TO STUDY, YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL,

YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, YOU HAVE TO DO THAT."

IT WAS MY MOTHER.

IT WAS MY MOTHER WHO --

WHO REALLY HAD TO PUSH,

YOU KNOW, TO GET ANYTHING ACCOMPLISHED.

YOU WERE A VERY BRIGHT CHILD.

YOU SPOKE YOUNG, YOU WERE -- YOU WERE VERY YOUNG WHEN YOU SPOKE.

YOU WERE ALWAYS RUNNING,

WHETHER IT WAS THE STREET OR THE HOUSE OR YOUR ROOM.

YOU NEVER STAYED PUT FOR FIVE MINUTES.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THAT TYPE OF A CHILD.

YOU WERE TOO -- TOO ACTIVE AND TOO MUCH OF A CHILD FOR ME.

I WASN'T THAT GOOD TO YOU,

BECAUSE I WAS VERY STRICT WITH YOU,

WHICH I REGRET, BECAUSE I THINK IF I HADN'T BEEN THAT STRICT,

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN A MORE -- NOT SO IMPATIENT.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN, WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

NOT "BETTER" --

YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON -- BUT MAYBE SOFTER, MAYBE WARMER.

AND DID YOU TAKE UP BOXING REALLY TO ESCAPE FROM POVERTY

OR JUST BECAUSE YOU ENJOYED IT?

NO, I TOOK UP BOXING SO I COULD DEAL WITH MY MOTHER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, THERE WERE A GREAT MANY SUBJECTS

WE DISAGREED ON, AND FREQUENTLY THE ONLY WAY TO SETTLE MATTERS

WAS TO PUT ON THE GLOVES AND GET INTO THE RING.

AND I USED TO KNOCK HER TEETH OUT ALL THE TIME.

REALLY?

YEAH, AND SHE'S AN OLD WOMAN, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, SO, THAT'S WHY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'LL JUST GRAB MY LID.

GIVE ME A LITTLE PROTECTION.

[ CHUCKLES ]

CAN I GET OUT ON THIS SIDE?

Man: OH, NO, WAIT UP.

Allen: THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT I WAS BORN IN.

AND WE WERE ON THE TOP FLOOR.

THE LANDLORD LIVED ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR.

I REMEMBER AS A LITTLE BOY

INFURIATING THE LANDLORD BECAUSE --

YOU SEE, THE POT THERE

USED TO HAVE BIG RED GERANIUMS IN THEM,

AND I JUST RIPPED THEM ALL OUT SO I COULD HIDE MY SOLDIERS.

I USED TO SIT ON THIS STOOP ALL THE TIME,

AND THIS WAS WHERE -- WHERE WE ROOTED AGAINST THE NAZIS,

YOU KNOW, AND I HAD ALL MY --

YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHERE I FIRST WENT TO SCHOOL,

TO KINDERGARTEN AND THEN FROM HERE.

IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH, BUT IT WASN'T.

I'LL TAKE YOU AROUND THE CORNER

AND SHOW YOU WHERE THE MIDWOOD THEATER,

THE MOVIE HOUSE, WAS.

NOW, GOD, WHEN YOU THINK OF IT, YOU KNOW,

THE AMOUNT OF MOVIES THAT I SAW RIGHT HERE,

I MEAN, IT WAS JUST ASTONISHING.

THIS WAS A VERY GLAMOROUS PLACE AT THE TIME, YOU KNOW,

A VERY PRETTY THEATER WITH PLUSH CARPETS AND SCONCES

AND BEAUTIFUL GLASS FIXTURES,

LINES OF MIDDLE-CLASS PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, ATTRACTIVE GIRLS

AND NICE-LOOKING YOUNG GUYS,

AND ALL GOING TO SEE, YOU KNOW, WHAT NOW WE CONSIDER

OUR CLASSIC MOVIE HERITAGE.

IT WAS ALL -- IT WAS ALL HERE.

NOW, WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT, IT'S NOT AS NICE.

I STARTED ON THE CLARINET AT ABOUT 15.

ACTUALLY, I STARTED ON THE SOPRANO SAXOPHONE,

BECAUSE I WANTED TO PLAY LIKE SIDNEY BECHET,

AND THEN I REALIZED IN THE FIRST TWO OR THREE MINUTES

THAT IT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

AND THEN I STARTED PLAYING THE CLARINET.

I LIKE TO PLAY. IT'S JUST A HOBBY, YOU KNOW.

I ALWAYS LIKED JAZZ.

I LIKED TO LISTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.

I STILL LIKE TO LISTEN, OF COURSE.

BUT THE CLARINET, I MOSTLY PLAYED BY MYSELF.

I CALLED UP A JAZZ MUSICIAN, QUITE A WELL-KNOWN JAZZ MUSICIAN

NAMED GENE SEDRICK, AND ASKED HIM

IF HE WOULD GIVE ME SOME LESSONS,

AND HE USED TO COME TO MY HOUSE,

AND HE WOULD JUST SIT IN MY LIVING ROOM WITH ME

AND PLAY SOMETHING AND SAY, "YOU DO IT NOW."

AND GRADUALLY, I LEARNED HOW TO PLAY.

YOU KNOW, WHEN WE'RE ON LOCATION DOING A FILM,

THERE ARE TIMES HE BRINGS HIS INSTRUMENT WITH HIM

AND PRACTICES IN THE CAR ON A BREAK.

BUT HE PRACTICES ALL THE TIME.

Allen: IT'S A PLEASURABLE THING TO PLAY.

IF YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, IT'S FUN TO PLAY IT,

AND IT'S FUN TO PLAY IT WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

AND AS IT TURNS OUT,

PEOPLE COME AND LISTEN TO US.

HE LOVES GOING TO THE CARLYLE

EVERY WEEK AND PLAYING MUSIC THERE.

HE DOESN'T SEE IT AS, "OH, I HAVE TO GO, IT'S MONDAY NIGHT."

HE LOVES DOING IT.

AND HE'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL HE CAN DO WELL,

AND SO THE PRACTICE IS NECESSARY, AND THAT'S IT.

IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S A FOREGONE CONCLUSION THAT HE'LL DO IT.

Juliet Taylor: HE SAID TO ME

THAT IF HE COULD DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,

HE WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE BEEN A CLARINET PLAYER

MORE THAN A FILMMAKER.

[ PLAYING JAZZ ]

Feeney: HIS SENSITIVITY TO MUSIC

IS KEY TO HIS SUCCESS AS A FILMMAKER,

BECAUSE VERY EARLY ON, RIGHT FROM THE VERY FIRST FILMS,

HE'S GOT A SENSE OF RHYTHM, A SENSE OF TIMING.

RHYTHM AND TIMING ARE KEY TO SUCCESS IN COMEDY.

BUT BECAUSE HE HAS THIS OTHER, SORT OF MELODIC SENSITIVITY,

I THINK IT REALLY MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM

TO NOT ONLY DO EXCELLENT COMEDY,

BUT IT MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO BE EMOTIONAL AS WELL.

Lasser: IT'S MORE DIRECT EXPRESSION OF EVERYTHING,

DON'T YOU THINK, MUSIC?

YOU KNOW, HE ALWAYS WOULD TALK ABOUT SIDNEY BECHET,

AND HE HAS THAT SWEET, WINSOME SOUND.

WOODY HAS THAT SOUND.

IT'S IN HIS PERSONA, HIS PUBLIC PERSONA,

BUT IT'S ALSO IN HIM.

IT'S JUST IN HIM.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Allen: OUR LAST YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL IN MIDWOOD,

YOU KNOW, ALL MY FRIENDS WERE

DECIDING WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES.

THEY WERE GOING TO BECOME DOCTORS AND LAWYERS.

AND SOMEONE SUGGESTED THAT I TRY WRITING GAGS.

AND I DID TRY IT AFTER SCHOOL.

SO HE STARTS SENDING JOKES IN TO THE NEWSPAPER,

AND THEY STARTED PRINTING THEM.

Allen: I WAS SHOCKED.

MY NAME WOULD SUDDENLY APPEAR IN WALTER WINCHELL'S COLUMN

AND EARL WILSON, AND THERE WERE MANY COLUMNISTS AT THE TIME,

FRANK FARRELL, HY GARDNER, LEONARD LYONS.

I DID NOT WANT TO APPEAR IN BROADWAY COLUMNS

AND IN THE NEWSPAPERS WITH MY OWN NAME,

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY

AND SIT IN MY MATH CLASS OR MY HISTORY CLASS

AND HAVE SOME GUY OR GIRL TURN TO ME AND SAY,

"HEY, I SAW YOUR NAME IN WALTER WINCHELL'S COLUMN."

AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS SHY.

I WANTED TO KEEP MY FIRST NAME, ALLAN,

AND I JUST THREW ON THE FIRST THING THAT CAME TO MIND WITH IT.

"WOODY ALLEN" KIND OF HAD A NICE COMEDIC RING TO IT,

AND IT SEEMED THAT THAT WOULD BE

A BETTER GUY TO BE SIGNING GAG LINES

THAN ALLAN KONIGSBERG.

THERE WAS A PRESS AGENT,

A PUBLIC RELATIONS MAN NAMED DAVID ALBER.

AND HIS JOB WAS TO COME UP WITH FUNNY LINES

TO PUT IN THE MOUTHS OF HIS CLIENTS.

AND HE CALLED UP AND SAID, "WHO IS THIS GUY, WOODY ALLEN,

WHOSE NAME I READ ALL THE TIME IN THE COLUMNS?"

AND I THINK IT WAS EARL WILSON

AT THE POST AT THAT TIME THAT SAID,

"HE'S SOME KID IN BROOKLYN

WHO SENDS ME THESE JOKES AFTER SCHOOL."

AND HE HIRED WOODY TO COME IN AT $25 A WEEK AFTER SCHOOL

TO WRITE JOKES.

AND I WAS DOING ABOUT 50 JOKES A DAY FOR A LONG TIME.

IT WAS NOT HARD.

Eric Lax: WELL, HE THOUGHT HE WAS

IN THE HEART OF SHOW BUSINESS.

AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE HE WAS WORKING WITH

WAS A GUY NAMED MIKE MERRICK,

WHO WAS IN HIS EARLY 20s.

AND MERRICK HAD THESE ROUND, BLACK GLASSES.

Allen: AND I THOUGHT, "HEY,

I WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THOSE."

SO I BOUGHT THESE BLACK-RIMMED GLASSES

AND PUT THEM ON AND WORE THEM, AND NEVER GAVE MY GLASSES

A SECOND THOUGHT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

FROM THERE, I WAS ASKED IN TO WRITE SOME JOKES

FOR THE ARTHUR GODFREY PROGRAM,

FOR PETER LIND HAYES AND MARY HEALY --

THEY DID A RADIO PROGRAM.

AND THAT EVENTUALLY GOT TO HERB SHRINER,

WHO WAS A WONDERFUL COMEDIAN, AND I WROTE FOR HIM.

AND I NEVER REALLY STOPPED.

I WAS NEVER OUT OF WORK.

BY THE TIME HE WAS 16 OR 17,

HE WAS MAKING MORE THAN HIS PARENTS,

AND HAS BEEN REGULARLY EMPLOYED EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE SINCE.

[ CLARINET PLAYING JAZZ ]

THIS IS WHERE I WORK.

MY HOUSE IS ALWAYS FULL OF CLARINET REEDS EVERYPLACE.

I BOUGHT THIS WHEN I WAS 16.

IT STILL WORKS LIKE A TANK.

AND IT'S A GERMAN TYPEWRITER, AND IT'S AN OLYMPIA PORTABLE.

I'VE HAD IT MY WHOLE LIFE.

IT COST ME $40, I THINK.

THE GUY TOLD ME IT WOULD BE AROUND LONG AFTER MY DEATH.

AND I'VE TYPED EVERYTHING THAT I'VE EVER WRITTEN --

EVERY SCRIPT, EVERY NEW YORKER PIECE,

EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE, ON THIS TYPEWRITER.

IT USED TO HAVE A METAL PIECE ON TOP, COVERING THIS,

WHICH I LOST 30 YEARS AGO.

Man: ONE ADVANTAGE, OBVIOUSLY, TO A WORD PROCESSOR IS,

YOU CAN ELECTRONICALLY CUT AND PASTE.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE TO CUT AND PASTE?

Allen: IF I'M TYPING SOMETHING, I HAVE MY SCISSORS HERE,

AND I HAVE A LOT OF THESE THINGS,

THESE LITTLE STAPLING MACHINES.

SO IF I'M TYPING SOMETHING,

I TYPE THE PART THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS.

YOU KNOW, NOBODY CAN REALLY TYPE MY STUFF.

IT LOOKS TERRIBLE ON THE PAGE,

SO I HAVE TO TYPE IT, BECAUSE I HAVE ARROWS

AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

BUT WHEN I COME TO A NICE PART,

THEN I CUT THAT PART OFF

AND STAPLE IT ON TO SOMETHING ELSE WITH THIS.

IT'S VERY PRIMITIVE, I KNOW.

BUT IT WORKS VERY WELL FOR ME, AND I CAN TYPE.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I CAN TOUCH-TYPE.

SO THERE'S NO PROBLEM.

Aronson: WOODY DATED A LOT,

BUT DIDN'T REALLY BRING, THAT I RECALL,

DIDN'T REALLY BRING GIRLS HOME UNTIL HE WAS DATING HARLENE,

WHOM HE EVENTUALLY MARRIED.

AND HE WAS VERY YOUNG.

HE WAS I THINK ABOUT 17,

AND THEN 18 WHEN HE MARRIED HER.

Allen: IT'S FUNNY -- WHEN YOU'RE REALLY YOUNG,

YOU KNOW, YOU GO OUT AND YOU GO TO THE MOVIES AND YOU GO BOWLING

AND YOU GO TO THE DRIVE-INS,

AND THEN THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO BUT TO GET MARRIED.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

WE'VE DONE EVERYTHING.

WE'VE EATEN AT ALL THE RESTAURANTS,

AND WE'VE, YOU KNOW, WE'VE SEEN THE MOVIES

AND BEEN TO THE THEATER, THE BALL GAMES,

SO WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?

IT'S 8:00, LET'S GET MARRIED.

SO WE GOT, YOU KNOW, WE GOT MARRIED.

AND WE WERE BOTH KIDS.

AND IT SERVED A VERY GOOD FUNCTION FOR BOTH OF US.

IT GOT US OUT OF OUR PARENTS' HOMES.

IT GOT US UP ON OUR FEET.

AND I SUDDENLY FOUND THAT I WAS 20 YEARS OLD.

I WAS MARRIED AND HAD RESPONSIBILITIES,

BUT WE JUST, YOU KNOW,

WERE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A LIFETIME TOGETHER.

I MARRIED A VERY IMMATURE WOMAN, AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.

SEE IF THIS IS NOT IMMATURE TO YOU.

I WOULD BE HOME, IN THE BATHROOM, TAKING A BATH,

AND MY WIFE WOULD WALK RIGHT IN WHENEVER SHE FELT LIKE,

AND SINK MY BOATS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IN 1956, AFTER WRITING FOR A NUMBER OF COMICS,

WOODY GETS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO TAMIMENT.

IT'S A RESORT IN THE POCONOS THAT SPECIALIZES IN THEATER.

Allen: PEOPLE WOULD FLOOD UP THERE FRIDAY NIGHTS

AND STAY FOR THE WEEKENDS.

AND THEY HAD A STAFF OF WRITERS,

DANCERS, DIRECTORS, CHOREOGRAPHERS,

WHO WOULD PUT ON AN ORIGINAL LIVE REVUE SHOW

EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

I WAS ADVISED TO GO THERE,

BECAUSE YOU REALLY GET EXPERIENCE

WRITING FOR A LIVE AUDIENCE.

HOW TO WRITE NOT JUST INDIVIDUAL JOKES BUT, YOU KNOW,

5-MINUTE SKETCHES, 3-MINUTE SKETCHES, 8-MINUTE SKETCHES.

SO, I WENT AND I DID THREE SUMMERS THERE.

THE FIRST SUMMER, I WROTE SKETCHES.

THE SECOND SUMMER, I WROTE SKETCHES AND DIRECTED THEM.

AND THE THIRD SUMMER, I WROTE SKETCHES AND DIRECTED THEM.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULDN'T SIT IN A ROOM

WAITING FOR YOUR MUSE TO COME AND TICKLE YOU.

MONDAY MORNING CAME, THERE WAS A DRESS REHEARSAL THURSDAY.

YOU HAD TO GET THAT THING WRITTEN.

AND IT WAS GRUELING, BUT YOU LEARNED TO WRITE.

AND FROM THERE, I MANAGED TO GO

DIRECTLY TO THE SID CAESAR SHOW.

SID WAS AN ACKNOWLEDGED COMIC GENIUS,

AND EVERYBODY WANTED TO WRITE FOR HIM.

AND SUDDENLY, I GOT HIRED, AND I WAS JUST, YOU KNOW,

20, 21 YEARS OLD.

AND I FOUND MYSELF WRITING WITH MEL BROOKS

AND WRITING WITH LARRY GELBART AND MEL TOLKIN.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO GO UPSTAIRS

AND GET SOME REST, HUH?

Allen: I SAID, "MY GOD, I'M WRITING FOR SID CAESAR."

AND IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE.

BEST NOT TO TAKE ANY OF THE ROOMS UPSTAIRS,

BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE MEMORIES OF CECILY.

JOHN, PLEASE, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

YOU CAN'T LIVE IN A MANSION --

DON'T SIT IN THAT CHAIR!

CECILY USED TO SIT IN THAT CHAIR.

IT'S LIKE SITTING ON A MEMORY.

JOHN, PLEASE, THIS IS --

DON'T SIT ON THAT CHAIR!

SHE USED TO PUT HER FEET ON THAT CHAIR

WHEN SHE SAT IN THAT CHAIR.

SHE WAS A VERY LONG GIRL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ JAZZ PLAYING ]

Allen: AT THAT TIME, JACK ROLLINS AND CHARLES JOFFE

HAD A MANAGEMENT BUSINESS,

AND THEY WERE THE ROLLS-ROYCE OF MANAGEMENT.

THEY WERE THE ONES THAT EVERYBODY WANTED TO GO WITH.

Rollins: AND WOODY SAID, WOULD CHARLIE AND I

BE INTERESTED IN HIM AS A WRITER?

AND I EXPLAINED TO HIM

THAT WE HAD NEVER HANDLED WRITERS AS SUCH.

WE HANDLED ACTORS AND PERSONALITIES.

WELL, WE ASKED HIM TO READ SOMETHING THAT HE DID.

AND JACK AND I THOUGHT HE WAS HILARIOUS.

HE HAD NEVER PERFORMED IN HIS LIFE.

AND BOTH OF US JUST JUMPED AND SAID,

"DON'T LET THIS GUY OUT OF THE OFFICE."

THE WRITING WAS FINE, BUT HE WANTED ME TO BE A COMIC.

HE JUST FELT I COULD BE A COMIC.

WOODY NEVER DREAMED OF BEING A COMIC.

HE WAS A WRITER.

AND IT WAS NOT EASY.

AND HE SAID TO ME, AND I REMEMBER THIS SO CLEARLY,

HE SAID, "DO ME A FAVOR, JUST TRUST ME.

"YOU JUST WORK AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT,

"AND LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.

"DO WHAT I TELL YOU.

AND LET'S LOOK UP IN A YEAR AND SEE WHERE YOU ARE."

IF YOU TAKE MY ADVICE, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME

ONE OF THE GREAT BALLOON-FOLDING ACTS OF ALL TIME,

REALLY, 'CAUSE I DON'T SEE YOU

JUST FOLDING THESE BALLOONS IN JOINTS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO -- YOU LISTEN TO ME,

YOU'RE GOING TO FOLD THESE BALLOONS

AT UNIVERSITIES AND COLLEGES.

YOU'RE GOING TO -- YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE

YOUR SNAIL AND YOUR ELEPHANT ON BROADWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT THE THING TO REMEMBER IS

BEFORE YOU GO OUT ON STAGE,

YOU GOT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR,

YOU GOT TO SAY YOUR THREE "S's" --

STAR, SMILE, STRONG.

STAR, SMILE, STRONG.

WHEN YOU LOOKED AT THE POPULAR COMEDIANS OF THE TIME,

MORT SAHL WAS COMPLETELY INFLUENTIAL FOR WOODY.

Allen: HE WAS JUST AMAZING.

EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM WAS DIFFERENT.

THE WAY HE DRESSED, THE WAY HE SPOKE, HIS VOCABULARY,

AND THE REFERENCES WERE ALL THE THINGS

THAT EVERYBODY WAS TRULY INTERESTED IN --

ARTISTIC THINGS AND POLITICS

AND THE FLOURISHING OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AT THE TIME,

AND EVERYTHING WAS SO FRESH AND BRILLIANT.

Sahl: OH, RICHARD NIXON'S TRIP TO RUSSIA.

HE'S GOING TO RUSSIA, AND HE SAID

HE HOPES HE GETS ALONG WITH THEM, AND SO...

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, IF HE DOESN'T GET ALONG WITH THEM,

HE'LL KIND OF BE IN TROUBLE, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T --

HE CAN'T CALL ANYBODY A COMMUNIST

AND HURT THEIR CAREER OVER THERE, YOU KNOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SAHL WAS THE LIGHT THAT GOES OFF WITH AN IDEA FOR WOODY.

HE'D SAY, "OH, YOU KNOW, GEE.

"THIS MIGHT BE SOMETHING THAT I CAN DO.

"I CAN'T BE MORT SAHL, BUT I CAN DO WHAT MORT SAHL DOES.

"I CAN ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN I'VE --

THAN I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE."

THE FIRST NIGHT I EVER WORKED AS A COMIC

WAS AT THE BLUE ANGEL.

ONE DAY SOMEBODY SAID, "THERE'S A KID APPEARING --

"THERE'S A LOT OF TALK ABOUT HIM,

AT THE BLUE ANGEL IN NEW YORK."

IT'S ONE OF THE GREAT CHIC OLD NIGHT CLUBS OF NEW YORK FAME --

"AND WHY DON'T YOU GO CHECK HIM OUT?"

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, AND I WENT TO THE BLUE ANGEL,

AND THIS SOMEWHAT GNOMISH MAN CAME OUT, AND HE BEGAN TO TALK.

AND I REALIZED AS LINE AFTER LINE AFTER LINE WENT BY,

"EACH OF THESE IS BETTER

THAN ANY LINE ANY COMIC IN THE BUSINESS HAS."

AND THE AUDIENCE BEGAN TO TALK AMONG THEMSELVES.

THAT'S HOW IT WAS, AND THERE WAS A COMEDIAN ON STAGE.

I WANTED TO KILL THEM.

HE WAS SO SHY.

HE WAS SO UNUSED TO BEING IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE

THAT HE WOULD TIE THE MIC CORD AROUND HIS NECK.

HE WOULD FRIGHTEN PEOPLE.

THEY THOUGHT HE WOULD CHOKE HIMSELF.

HE WAS A NON-PERFORMER.

Joffe: HE COULD HARDLY TALK TO PEOPLE,

NEVER MIND PERFORM FOR THEM.

AND SOME NIGHTS HE WAS GOD-AWFUL,

BUT OTHER NIGHTS HE WAS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

Allen: I MUST PAUSE FOR ONE FAST SECOND

AND SAY A FAST WORD ABOUT ORAL CONTRACEPTION.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS INVOLVED IN AN EXTREMELY GOOD EXAMPLE

OF ORAL CONTRACEPTION TWO WEEKS AGO.

I ASKED A GIRL TO GO BED WITH ME, AND SHE SAID, "NO."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF YOU'RE A JOKE MAKER, IT'S HARD NOT TO MAKE JOKES.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, I'M ALWAYS AMAZED WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY

THAT CAN DRAW A HORSE.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW THEY CAN POSSIBLY DO IT,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THEY ACTUALLY REPRODUCE THE HORSE

WITH A PENCIL AND PAPER, AND IT'S TERRIFIC.

NOW, I CAN'T DRAW A HORSE OR ANYTHING ELSE,

BUT I CAN WRITE JOKES,

AND IT'S HARD NOT TO WRITE THEM.

I MEAN, IF I WALK DOWN THE STREET, IT'S ALMOST --

IT'S LIKE MY NORMAL CONVERSATION.

YOU KNOW, IT JUST COMES OUT THAT WAY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I PLAYED THE BLUE ANGEL AND PLAYED SOME PLACES,

AND THEN SOMEONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS PLACE

CALLED THE BITTER END ON BLEECKER STREET.

I OPENED THE BITTER END IN 1961.

IT WAS LOCATED ON BLEECKER STREET

NEAR WEST BROADWAY.

THE UPTOWN CLUBS WERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

IN THE VILLAGE, THERE WAS JUST COFFEE SHOP KINDS OF PLACES,

AND THE ACTS THAT WERE STARTING TO HAPPEN WERE THE FOLK ACTS.

PETER, PAUL AND MARY, OF COURSE, BROKE IT WIDE OPEN.

THE VILLAGE IN THE '60s WAS THE TIME

WHEN SORT OF EVERYTHING WAS HAPPENING.

IT WAS A TIME WHEN THE BEATS WERE VERY POPLAR.

THE PILL CAME ALONG.

THE MIXING OF THE RACES WAS STARTING THERE,

AND KENNEDY WAS ELECTED.

AND THE VILLAGE WAS SPARKED LIKE IT HADN'T BEEN SINCE THE 1920s.

AND SOME NIGHTS THEY'D PLAY MY CLUB

AND RUN DOWN OVER TO ANOTHER CLUB.

THERE WERE FOUR OR FIVE DIFFERENT ONES.

YOU DIDN'T GET PAID, BUT YOU HAD A PLACE TO WORK.

AND I WOULD GO DOWN THERE EVERY NIGHT WITH JACK AND DO MY ACT.

JACK SAYS, "WAIT TILL YOU SEE HIM,"

AND HE WENT ON, AND HE DIDN'T MAKE IT AT ALL.

NOBODY UNDERSTOOD. THEY DIDN'T GET IT.

AND THEN JACK CAME OVER, AND HE SAID,

"SEE? HE'S AN INDUSTRY!"

THAT WAS THE FIRST THREE WORDS JACK SAID

WHEN HE CAME OFF THE STAGE.

"HE'S AN INDUSTRY."

Rollins: PRETTY SOON, IT BECAME APPARENT

THAT HE WAS A COMPLETELY UNIQUE

NEW FACE AND A VOICE ON THE SCENE.

FOR THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE, I HAD WHAT YOU WOULD CALL

A BAD BASIC ATTITUDE TOWARD MY WIFE.

I TENDED TO PLACE MY WIFE UNDERNEATH A PEDESTAL

ALL THE TIME.

AND WE USED TO ARGUE AND FIGHT,

AND WE FINALLY DECIDED THAT WE WOULD EITHER

TAKE A VACATION IN BERMUDA OR GET A DIVORCE,

ONE OF THE TWO THINGS.

AND WE DISCUSSED IT VERY MATURELY,

AND WE DECIDED FINALLY ON THE DIVORCE,

'CAUSE WE FELT THAT WE HAD A LIMITED AMOUNT OF MONEY

TO SPEND ON SOMETHING, AND THAT A VACATION IN BERMUDA

IS OVER IN TWO WEEKS, YOU KNOW,

BUT A DIVORCE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE, YOU KNOW, SO...

BUT IT TURNS OUT, IN NEW YORK STATE,

THEY HAVE A VERY FUNNY LAW

THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T GET A DIVORCE

UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE ADULTERY.

AND THAT'S VERY STRANGE, BECAUSE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS SAY,

"THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY."

BUT NEW YORK STATE SAYS YOU HAVE TO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I SAID, "IT IS HARD FOR YOU?"

HE SAID HE WAS SUFFERING DOING THIS ACT.

HE WAS NOT A PERFORMER, REALLY.

HE VOMITED A FEW TIMES, HE SAID,

WITHOUT ANY TRACE OF HUMOR IN DELIVERING THAT LINE,

THAT IT REALLY WAS HARD.

Rollins: CHARLIE AND I WOULD HAVE TO LITERALLY

SHOVE HIM ONTO THE STAGE

TO DO HIS LITTLE ACT.

I KEPT SAYING, "I'M NOT FUNNY.

"I'M NOT A COMIC.

"I, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T DO THIS.

"I HATE IT. I DON'T LIKE THE HOURS.

"I'M SHY, AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE

STANDING IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE."

I MEAN, THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT IT I LIKED.

I MEAN, I KEPT SAYING,

"I WANT TO QUIT. I WANT TO QUIT."

AND JACK SAID, "GIVE IT A LITTLE TIME, A LITTLE TIME."

I THINK HIS COMMON SENSE TOLD HIM THAT IF HE BREAKS THROUGH

ON THE LEVEL OF THE PERFORMER,

IT WILL BE A USEFUL THING FOR HIM.

AND THEN ONE NIGHT, HE JUST BOUNDED UP ON THE STAGE,

AND IT WAS WOODY.

HE TOLD THE SAME JOKES, AND THEY WORKED.

AND THE AUDIENCE REALLY LIKED IT.

THE TELEPHONE COMPANY HAS THIS SERVICE

FOR EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED TYPES CALLED DIAL-A-PRAYER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEY HAVE A NUMBER THAT YOU DIAL IF YOU ARE AN ATHEIST,

AND YOU DON'T HEAR ANYTHING ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHEN WOODY WAS THERE ABOUT FOUR OR SIX WEEKS,

THERE WAS AN ARTICLE IN THE TIMES SAYING,

"YOU GOTTA COME DOWN TO THE BITTER END.

"YOU GOTTA SEE THIS NEW PERFORMER.

HE'S GREAT."

AND HE RAVED ABOUT HIM.

IT WAS THE FIRST GREAT REVIEW

THAT WOODY GOT FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES.

I WAS REAL EXCITED ABOUT IT.

THERE WERE LINES OUTSIDE THE BLOCK

THAT WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO McDOUGAL STREET.

NEWSPAPERS STARTED TO BECOME INTERESTED IN ME

AND SEND REPORTERS DOWN TO DO STORIES,

AND OTHER NIGHTCLUB OWNERS WOULD COME AND WATCH

AND BOOK ME FOR PLACES,

AND TELEVISION PEOPLE WOULD COME DOWN

AND BOOK ME ON THE TV SHOWS.

I WAS KIDNAPPED ONCE.

LISTEN TO THIS STORY.

I WAS STANDING BY MY SCHOOLYARD,

AND A BLACK SEDAN PULLED UP, AND TWO GUYS GOT OUT,

AND THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO AWAY WITH THEM

TO A LAND WHERE EVERYBODY WAS FAIRIES AND ELVES AND...

I COULD HAVE ALL THE COMIC BOOKS I WANTED

AND TOOTSIE ROLLS AND CHOCOLATE BUTTONS

AND WAX LIPS, YOU KNOW AND...

I SAID YES.

I GOT INTO THEIR CAR WITH THEM,

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE -- I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HECK?"

YOU KNOW, I WAS HOME THAT WEEKEND FROM COLLEGE ANYHOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Rollins: HE HAD A HEAVY TELEVISION EXPOSURE,

AND THAT, OF COURSE, IS WHAT BUILDS NATIONAL FIGURES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Allen: IN TERMS OF THOSE JOBS, NOTHING WAS BENEATH ME.

I BOXED A KANGAROO.

I SANG "LITTLE SIR ECHO" WITH A TALKING DOG.

♪ LITTLE SIR ECHO, HOW DO YOU DO? ♪

♪ HELLO ♪

[ WHINES ]

♪ HELL-- HELLO ♪

[ WHINES ]

HE SANG IN REHEARSAL.

Allen: THIS WAS PART OF JACK ROLLINS' GAME PLAN,

'CAUSE JACK'S THEORY WAS

TO SATURATE THE COUNTRY WITH ME AS MUCH AS HE COULD

SO -- SO I WOULD BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME.

ONCE HE WAS ON A PRIME TIME SHOW STARING PERRY COMO,

AND IT WAS A BIG PRODUCTION NUMBER,

AND AS THE SCENE OPENED, "WOODY" WAS SPELLED IN 15-FOOT LETTERS

IN THE BACKGROUND, BACKLIGHTED,

AND HE CAME ON IN TAILS AND TWIRLING A CANE AND TOP HAT.

AND I REMEMBER HIS SAYING,

"I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK BACKSTAGE

BEFORE GOING ON."

♪ NOW HERE YOU CERTAINLY ARE ♪

♪ YES, NOW WHEN I DASH ALONG THE BOULEVARD ♪

Allen: AND I REMEMBER THE COLUMNIST JACK O'BRIAN,

WHO WAS A HUGE, HUGE SUPPORTER OF MINE,

HE SAID, "YOU KNOW, WE ALWAYS USE SUPERLATIVES

"WHEN WE WRITE ABOUT WOODY.

"AND I'VE GOT TO SAY HE IS THE WORST SINGER

THAT I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE."

AND I'M SURE I WAS, BECAUSE -- BUT IT DIDN'T MATTER.

THIS WAS ALL PART OF WHAT JACK WANTED.

HE WANTED ME TO SEEP INTO THE PORES OF THE MULTITUDE.

AND HE DID THAT FOR A FEW YEARS

AND WAS MAKING GOOD SUCCESS AT IT,

AND HE BECAME VERY POPULAR ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW."

JOHNNY CARSON LOVED HIM.

HE PERFORMED ON THERE MANY TIMES,

WAS THE GUEST HOST ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS,

AND THEN ALSO BEGAN APPEARING WITH DICK CAVETT

ON HIS SHOW ON ABC.

AND WHAT'S WONDERFUL ABOUT THOSE SHOWS WAS

YOU COULD SEE THAT THE TWO OF THEM KNEW AND LIKED EACH OTHER

AND REALLY ENJOYED PLAYING OFF THE OTHER.

Cavett: I WOULD ALWAYS GRIN

WHEN I COULD LOOK AND SEE HIM IN THE WINGS

ABOUT TO COME OUT, 'CAUSE I KNEW

WE WERE GOING TO HAVE FUN.

AND HE DID SEEM TO ENJOY DOING THE SHOW.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

ALL RIGHT.

Cavett: WOODY'S IMPROV SKILL DESERVES TO BE LEGENDARY.

AND ON THE AIR I WOULD THROW SOMETHING AT WOODY

AND DARE HIM TO GIVE EXAMPLES OF SOMETHING,

AND HE WOULD INSTANTLY GO INTO SOMETHING THAT RANKED

WITH THE VERY BEST OF

SECOND CITY'S VAUNTED IMPROVISERS.

THE IN-- THE BRITISH IN INDIA

INVENTED THE GAME CALLED POONA.

AH, I'VE PLAYED IT.

Cavett: WELL, THEN GOOD, BECAUSE THE QUESTION IS,

IS THE GAME STILL PLAYED? AND IF SO, HOW?

UM, IT REQUIRES TWO CONSENTING ADULTS TO PLAY THE GAME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND ONE IS THE POONER, AND ONE IS THE POONEE.

[ APPLAUSE ]

Cavett: I DON'T KNOW

IF WE NEED TO GO ON WITH THIS OR NOT.

YOU SPIN A DIAL,

AND YOU CAN ADVANCE TWO SQUARES IF YOU LIKE,

AND YOU HAVE TO YELL OUT, "POONEE! POONEE!"

AND THEN THEY GIVE YOU PAPER MONEY,

OR "SCRIPT," AS IT'S CALLED.

AND THEN YOU SMEAR BUTTER ON THE PERSON YOU'RE PLAYING WITH

AND RECITE THE WORD "NUTMEG" SEVEN TIMES.

Cavett: [LAUGHS] THAT'S UNCANNY.

YES. FIRST ONE TO REACH THE -- THE POONATORIUM IS THE WINNER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Cavett: IT WAS JUST BRILLIANT,

AND HE COULD DO THAT ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

Man: WHO WAS THE FIRST MOVIE STAR THAT YOU MET?

CAN YOU REMEMBER?

UH, YES.

I MET TRIGGER,

WHO WAS ROY ROGERS' HORSE, AT A PARTY.

ACTUALLY, I PICKED HIM UP AT A PARTY,

AND WE HAD AN ONGOING RELATIONSHIP

FOR TWO YEARS AFTER THAT,

WHICH I'M VERY PROUD OF.

Man: DID YOU EVER MEET ROY ROGERS AT THAT TIME?

NO, I HAD NO INTEREST IN MEETING ROY ROGERS.

BUT I LOVED LIVING WITH HIS HORSE.

Man: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SMELL?

HE DIDN'T MIND THAT SO MUCH.

THERE WAS ONE TIME

I HAD A SHOW THAT WAS MOSTLY WOODY,

AND THEN THE GREAT RUTH GORDON CAME OUT, IN HER 70s.

AND AS A SURPRISE, GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA APPEARED,

LOOKING GLAMOROUS.

DO YOU KNOW MR. ALLEN? HE'S VERY FUNNY.

THANK YOU. I WAS JUST FIGURING OUT...

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS JUST SITTING HERE TRYING TO FIGURE WHICH --

HOW WE GOING TO SPLIT 'EM UP,

YOU KNOW -- WHO GETS WHICH ONE?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HOW WOODY GOT INTO THE MOVIES WAS, WHEN HE WAS PLAYING

THE BLUE ANGEL, WE HAD A LOT STARS COME IN TO SEE HIM.

SHIRLEY MacLAINE BROUGHT IN A FRIEND OF HERS,

CHARLES K. FELDMAN,

WHO WAS ONE OF THE ALL-TIME

HOLLYWOOD MOTION PICTURE PRODUCERS.

SO THE GREAT CHARLES K. FELDMAN

WAS VERY TAKEN WITH WOODY'S WORK,

YOU KNOW, WISELY.

AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW, MONDAY MORNING,

THEY OFFERED ME $20,000 TO WRITE

THE SCRIPT OF "WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT?"

I WROTE IT AND WROTE A SMALL PART FOR MYSELF IN IT.

Rollins: THAT WAS HIS FIRST ENTRANCE

INTO MOTION PICTURE WORLD.

YEAH.

ABSINTHE. COFFEE.

MINERAL WATER.

DID YOU FIND A JOB?

YEAH, I GOT SOMETHING AT THE STRIPTEASE.

I HELP THE GIRLS DRESS AND UNDRESS.

NICE JOB.

20 FRANCS A WEEK.

NOT VERY MUCH.

IT'S ALL I CAN AFFORD.

THEY HIRED A VERY LOVELY DIRECTOR, CLIVE DONNER,

A VERY NICE MAN AND GOOD DIRECTOR, TO DO IT,

BUT THE STUDIO WOULD NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE.

THEY HAD THEIR HAND IN EVERY PIE,

AND SO THEY WERE TAKING MY SCRIPT AND MANGLING IT.

THERE ARE PLACES WHERE WOODY SHINES THROUGH,

BUT HIS WORK, WHICH HAD ALWAYS BEEN SUCCESSFUL,

WAS SUDDENLY IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE ELSE.

HE HAD NO LEVERAGE WHATSOEVER IN WHAT WENT ON.

AND HE FOUND THAT THE SCRIPT THAT HE HAD PRESENTED

HAD TURNED INTO THIS ANTIC FARCE THAT WAS JUST REALLY

THE ANTITHESIS OF WOODY'S COMEDY.

I HAVE OFTEN SAID THAT IF I COULD'VE DIRECTED THAT,

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD'VE BEEN

A MUCH, MUCH, MUCH FUNNIER PICTURE

BUT MADE MUCH LESS MONEY.

THE FILM WAS SO FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL

THAT I THINK IT WAS THE GREATEST,

BIGGEST-GROSSING COMEDY TO THAT DATE.

IT WAS A BORING PICTURE, AS I RECALL.

Man: I RATHER ENJOYED IT.

YES, BUT YOU'RE MISTAKEN.

CHARLIE JOFFE KEPT SAYING,

"YOU KNOW, SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.

"YOU'RE ACTING IN A MOVIE,

"YOU'RE GETTING YOUR CREDIT ON THIS,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GO FORWARD FROM THIS."

Joffe: I KNEW WOODY WAS GOING TO CONTINUE

TO MAKE FILMS AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE.

AND I KNEW IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE FOR CHARLES FELDMAN.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T EVEN GO SEE IT.

I JUST WAS SO ANGRY AT THE WHOLE THING,

VOWED NEVER TO WORK IN MOVIES AGAIN

UNLESS I COULD BE THE DIRECTOR.

AND HAVE CONTROL, NOT JUST THE DIRECTOR.

AND THE GREAT LESSON THAT CAME OUT OF THAT

WAS THE SENSE OF, NOBODY WAS EVER

GOING TO MESS WITH HIS STUFF AGAIN.

THE NEXT THING I DID WAS,

I WROTE A SCRIPT WITH MY SCHOOL FRIEND, MICKEY ROSE.

FOR "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN."

THE ONLY WAY I WANTED TO GET IT ON WAS ME DIRECTING THAT.

AT THAT TIME, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT PRODUCING,

SO I WANTED TO LEARN TO DO IT SO WE COULD CONTROL IT.

KEEP THE CONTROL AS CLOSE TO US AS WE COULD.

AND JACK WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN MAKING A DEAL FOR HIM

AFTER THAT, WHERE HE DIDN'T SPEND A LOT OF MONEY,

BUT HE HAD CONTROL OF THE FILM.

Rollins: WE SOLD 'EM THE IDEA THAT IF YOU WANT WOODY,

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW TO WORK WITH HIM,

WHICH IS, LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE'S DOING THE MOVIE, AND HE'S DOING IT HIS WAY,

AND NOBODY IS GOING TO ASK QUESTIONS,

AND NOBODY IS GOING TO INTERFERE WITH HIM

AND GET HIM TRIPPED UP IN ANY WAY.

HE WANTS NO CONTACT WITH ANYBODY.

THAT'S WHAT WE GOT IN OUR CONTRACT.

[ LAUGHING ]

HE WAS GOING THE NEXT DAY TO DIRECT HIS VERY FIRST THING,

AND HE WAS NERVOUS ABOUT IT.

AND I WALK INTO THE BEDROOM, AND HE'S SITTING ON THE BED,

YOU KNOW, WITH LEGS UP, HOW YOU SIT ON THE BED AND READ?

AND ON THE FRONT OF THE BOOK IT SAYS, "HOW TO DIRECT."

I DIDN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT FILMMAKING OR --

NOT THE FIRST THING.

I KNEW THIS, THOUGH,

THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE

A PSEUDO-DOCUMENTARY IN STYLE.

SO I HAD A STRUCTURE TO HANG ON TO RIGHT FROM THE START.

Narrator: VIRGIL STEALS TO PAY FOR CELLO LESSONS.

AND ALTHOUGH HE DOES NOT ACHIEVE GREATNESS ON THE INSTRUMENT,

HE IS SOON GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY IN A LOCAL BAND.

David: "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN,"

I SAW WHEN I WAS IN THE ARMY.

IT WAS PLAYING ON THE BASE.

AND, OF COURSE, I HAD JUST BEEN THROUGH LIKE THE WORST HELL

I'D EVER BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE.

LIKE SIX, I CAN'T EVEN --

LIKE, THEY WERE FIRING BULLETS OVER MY HEAD,

I WAS CRAWLING ON THE GROUND, I WAS IN BASIC TRAINING.

SO, ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE GET THIS BREAK

THAT WE CAN GO TO THE MOVIES.

YOU KNOW, AFTER BEING IN THE ARMY

AND GOING TO SEE THAT MOVIE,

IT WAS THE MOST EXHILARATING,

AMAZING EXPERIENCE TO JUST BE ABLE

TO SIT THERE AND LAUGH LIKE THAT

AFTER THE HELL THAT I'D BEEN THROUGH.

AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT, "OH, BOY."

AND I THOUGHT, "BOY, I GOT A CONNECTION TO THIS GUY."

WHAT DOES THIS SAY?

AHEM -- CAN'T YOU READ THAT?

I CAN'T READ THIS.

WHAT'S THIS?

"ACT NATURAL"?

NO, IT SAYS,

"PLEASE PUT $50,000 INTO THIS BAG

AND ACT NATURAL."

Man: IT DOES SAY "ACT NATURAL."

"I AM POINTING A GUN AT YOU."

THAT LOOKS LIKE "GUB."

THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE "GUN."

NO, IT'S "GUN."

NO, THAT'S "GUB."

THAT'S A "B."

NO. SEE, THAT'S AN "N."

IT'S G-U-N.

IT'S "GUN."

GEORGE, WOULD YOU

STEP OVER HERE A MOMENT, PLEASE?

WHAT DOES THIS SAY?

"PLEASE PUT $50,000

INTO THIS BAG AND 'ABT' NATURAL."

WHAT'S "ABT"?

IT'S "ACT."

DOES THIS -- DOES THIS LOOK LIKE "GUB" OR "GUN"?

"GUN."

SEE?

BUT WHAT'S "ABT" MEAN?

IT'S "ACT," A-C-T.

"ACT NATURAL."

PLEASE PUT $50,000 INTO THIS BAG.

ACT NATURAL.

OH, I SEE.

THIS IS A HOLDUP? YES.

MAY I SEE YOUR GUN?

OH.

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE THIS NOTE

INITIALED BY ONE OF OUR VICE PRESIDENTS

BEFORE I CAN GIVE YOU ANY MONEY.

Maltin: "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN"

WAS FINANCED BY PALOMAR PICTURES,

WHICH WAS A DIVISION OF THE ABC TELEVISION NETWORK.

AND WHEN IT WAS FINISHED, THE EXECUTIVES LOOKED AT IT

AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THE FILM.

AND WOODY SAID THAT WHEN HE WAS SCREENING

"TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN" FOR THE EXECUTIVES

THAT AFTER 10 MINUTES OF THE FIRST REEL,

ONE OF THE EXECUTIVES LEANED TO HIM

AND SAID, "IS THE REST LIKE THIS?"

WHEN WE SHOWED IT TO PALOMAR,

THEY SUGGESTED BRINGING IN RALPH ROSENBLUM TO HELP ME.

RALPH WAS A WONDERFUL EDITOR.

AND HE CAME IN AND SAW IT

AND LOOKED AT ALL THE STUFF I HAD TAKEN OUT

AND SAID, "YOU GOTTA PUT ALL THAT STUFF BACK.

ALL THAT STUFF IS FUNNY. WHY DID YOU TAKE IT OUT?"

AND I SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW."

HE SAID, "YOU CAN'T GO, YOU GOTTA GIVE IT A FIGHTING CHANCE.

"PUT IT IN, PUT A PIECE OF MUSIC BEHIND IT.

SHOW IT TO AN AUDIENCE OF PEOPLE."

SO WE DID, AND RALPH WAS RIGHT.

AND THE PICTURE PLAYED VERY WELL.

AND IT OPENED AND WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL, RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

AND THE FILM LAUNCHED MY CAREER.

SO FROM MY FIRST MOVIE ON, "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN,"

WHEN I CERTAINLY HAD DONE NOTHING

TO EARN COMPLETE CONTROL, NOTHING,

I HAD COMPLETE CONTROL,

AND HAVE NEVER DONE A MOVIE IN MY LIFE

WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OF IT.

WHEN WOODY SET HIS SIGHTS ON PLAY WRITING,

HE ENJOYED GREAT SUCCESS WITH HIS VERY FIRST STAGE COMEDY,

CALLED "DON'T DRINK THE WATER," ON BROADWAY,

STARRING LOU JACOBI, WHO LATER TURNED UP

IN SOME OF HIS FILMS.

IT HAD A GOOD RUN.

AND IN IT, PLAYING THE YOUNG ROMANTIC LEAD,

WAS AN ACTOR NAMED TONY ROBERTS WHOM WOODY BEFRIENDED

AND ALSO CAST IN HIS NEXT PLAY,

WHICH WAS "PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM," IN WHICH WOODY STARRED.

♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS ♪

Allen: IT WAS A LITTLE

STAGE PLAY THAT -- THAT I WROTE MANY YEARS AGO,

MOSTLY TO GIVE MYSELF AN OPPORTUNITY

TO APPEAR ON STAGE.

THE FACT THAT THEY ASKED ME

TO PLAY THE MOVIE A COUPLE YEARS LATER,

THAT WAS FINE AND A NICE OPPORTUNITY FOR ME.

I WAS VERY FORTUNATE

THAT HERB ROSS DIRECTED IT

AND DID A VERY GOOD JOB ON IT.

I'M 29.

THE HEIGHT OF MY SEXUAL POTENCY WAS TEN YEARS AGO.

OH, ALLEN,

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.

YOU'RE FREE.

YOU'LL GO OUT. THERE'LL BE GIRLS.

YOU'LL GO TO PARTIES AND HAVE AFFAIRS WITH MARRIED WOMEN,

SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH GIRLS OF EVERY RACE, CREED AND COLOR.

OH, YOU GET TIRED OF THAT.

BECAUSE WE WERE ACTING TOGETHER IN THE PLAY,

WE BONDED, AND WE GOT TO BE FRIENDS AND BECAME CLOSE.

AND OF COURSE, KEATON WAS A LARGE PART OF THAT.

♪ THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS ♪

Roberts: DIANE HAD BEEN IN "HAIR"

RIGHT BEFORE WE STARTED REHEARSALS

FOR "PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM."

AND I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH THAT.

I REMEMBER THAT DIANE WAS THE ONLY ONE

WHO WOULDN'T TAKE OFF HER CLOTHES.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I WAS SENT UP FOR "PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM,"

AND I AUDITIONED, ALONG WITH A LOT OF YOUNG NEW YORK ACTRESSES.

AND THAT'S WHAT I DID, I READ.

AND I GOT THE PART.

AT THE TIME, THEY WERE CONCERNED

BECAUSE I MIGHT BE TOO TALL FOR WOODY.

SO I GOT UP ON STAGE AND WE DID THAT BACK-TO-BACK THING

THAT KIDS DO AT BIRTHDAY PARTIES,

AND WE WERE JUST ABOUT THE SAME HEIGHT.

AND WE LOOKED AT A NUMBER OF OTHER WOMEN DURING THE WEEK,

BUT KEATON WAS IN A CLASS BY HERSELF.

Keaton: WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT WOODY

WAS THAT HE WAS SHORT, AND HE WAS CUTE.

AND THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBERED ABOUT WOODY ON THAT DAY,

WAS JUST THAT, "OH, MY GOD, HE IS..."

I -- YOU KNOW, I JUST HAD A BIG CRUSH, INSTANTLY.

Roberts: THE THREE OF US

HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER.

WE GOT ALONG VERY WELL.

WE HAD A LOT OF FUN.

ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I ALWAYS REMEMBER

IS THAT, YOU KNOW, WOODY SEEMED TO HAVE

NO DISCIPLINE ONSTAGE.

AND HE WOULD SOMETIMES DO HIS IMPRESSION OF JAMES EARL JONES

WHILE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT DURING A MATINEE,

AND I WOULD CRACK UP AND DESTROY THE SCENE.

THAT WAS ALWAYS A LOT OF FUN,

AND WE WOULD HANG OUT AND EAT DINNER TOGETHER,

AND THAT'S HOW I REALLY GOT TO KNOW HIM.

MY GAME PLAN WAS REALLY TO FORCE WOODY TO LIKE ME.

SO I WAS ALWAYS PLOTTING AND SCHEMING ABOUT HOW HE COULD GROW

TO SEE ME AS AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.

I WAS ALWAYS DIRECTING MY ATTENTIONS

TO, "HOW CAN I MAKE HIM LIKE ME MORE?"

NOW, TELL HER SHE HAS THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE EYES

YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

YOU HAVE THE MOST EYES

I'VE EVER SEEN ON ANY PERSON.

ALLEN, YOUR HAND IS TREMBLING.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NEAR."

PARDON ME?

TELL HER THAT.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NEAR.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DON'T YOU?

NOW, TELL HER THAT YOU'VE MET A LOT OF DAMES,

BUT SHE IS REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL.

OH, THAT, SHE WON'T BELIEVE.

OH, NO?

I HAVE MET A LOT OF DAMES,

BUT YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL.

REALLY?

SHE BOUGHT IT.

IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS CRAZY ABOUT HER, ON ALL LEVELS.

YOU COULD SEE THAT HAPPENING, ABSOLUTELY,

ESPECIALLY WHEN I STOPPED BEING ASKED TO DINNER.

SHE WAS ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL AND INCREDIBLY GIFTED.

WE WENT OUT TOGETHER, AND WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR A WHILE.

SHE'S REMAINED A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE TO THIS DAY.

I WORKED IT, YOU KNOW.

I REALLY WORKED TRYING TO GET HIM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

HE DIDN'T QUITE FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,

BUT I WAS AROUND A LOT.

AND WE MADE A GOOD TEAM.

WE WERE A GOOD TEAM.

DAVID PICKER WAS PRESIDENT,

ARTHUR KRIM, CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF UNITED ARTISTS.

AND THIS MAN CAME AND INTRODUCED HIMSELF.

IT WAS DAVID PICKER.

AND HE SAID, "I WANT WOODY TO MAKE PICTURES FOR MY COMPANY."

I SAID, "GREAT."

HE SAID, "WHAT WILL IT TAKE?"

I SAID, "PUT $2 MILLION IN A PAPER BAG,

GIVE IT TO US AND GO AWAY, AND WE'LL BRING YOU A PICTURE."

AND I SAID, "AND DO THAT THREE TIMES."

AND HE SAID, "YOU GOT A DEAL."

AND IT WAS THAT SIMPLE.

COME BACK, BACK, BACK.

MORE, MORE, MORE. BACK, BACK.

[ CRASH ]

I PLAY A CHARACTER WHO LIVES IN NEW YORK

WHO WORKS AS A TESTER OF PRODUCTS.

I TEST NEW PRODUCTS TO SEE IF THEY'RE SAFE FOR THE PUBLIC.

Man: WE CAN SHOW YOU HOW YOU TURN IT OUT.

WE CAN SHOW YOU HOW YOU CAN SAVE MONEY...

OH, BOY, I'D LIKE TO DO THAT OVER.

I GO TO A LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRY,

AND THROUGH A CIRCUITOUS SERIES OF EVENTS,

I BECOME THE LEADER OF THAT COUNTRY DURING A REVOLUTION.

[ EXPLOSION ]

Allen: AND COME BACK TO THE UNITED STATES,

BEARDED AND WELL-TANNED AND EBULLIENT,

AND I GET INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE

WITH THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AS A RESULT.

I AM MR. HERNANDEZ, THE OFFICIAL INTERPRETER.

WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES.

WELCOME TO UNITED STATES.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT?

YES, I DID.

YES, I DID.

WOODY'S LOVE INTEREST IN "BANANAS"

WAS HIS SECOND EX-WIFE, LOUISE LASSER --

A VERY FUNNY WOMAN.

THEY WERE MARRIED ON GROUNDHOG'S DAY IN 1966,

BUT BY THE TIME THEY GOT TO MAKING THE MOVIE,

THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS,

BUT THEY HAD BEEN DIVORCED FOR SOME TIME.

FOR ME, LOUISE WAS SOMETHING THAT STEPPED OUT OF A FANTASY.

HI.

Allen: SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL, VERY GIFTED.

IT WAS JUST OVERWHELMING TO ME.

SHE WAS SUCH A CAPTIVATING FIGURE.

SHE WAS VERY FUNNY.

SHE HAD A NICE LAUGH.

SHE WAS PRETTY, SEXY,

AND SHE, YOU KNOW, WAS PERFECT.

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST SAYING TO SOMEONE THE OTHER DAY

THAT THE SCANDINAVIANS SEEM TO HAVE

SUCH AN INSTINCTIVE FEEL FOR THE HUMAN CONDITION.

IT'S VERY WISE, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S -- I THINK, PITHY.

OH, WELL, IT WAS PITHY.

IT HAD GREAT PITH.

YETH.

PITH.

PITH.

Lasser: I REMEMBER

I HAD PERIODS OF TIME WHERE I COULDN'T SLEEP.

AND I WOULD GET, LIKE, REALLY BORED.

I WOULD GO CRAZY, AND HE WOULD JUST SLEEP.

AND I WOULD THINK, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

"HERE, I'M WITH AMERICA'S FOREMOST HUMORIST,

AND I CAN'T SLEEP, AND I'M BORED," LIKE THAT.

AND I WOULD JUST NUDGE HIM AND GO, YOU KNOW,

"WOODY, WOODY, WAKE UP, I'M BORED.

SAY SOMETHING FUNNY."

WE NEVER WORKED TOGETHER WHILE WE WERE MARRIED,

BECAUSE WE FELT THAT IT WOULD RUIN THE MARRIAGE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO, NOW THAT WE'VE BEEN DIVORCED FOR A YEAR,

WE FELT THAT WE COULD WORK TOGETHER,

AND, OF COURSE, I GOT HER MUCH CHEAPER.

[ MOANING ]

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

OH, SAY IT IN FRENCH.

OH, PLEASE, SAY IT IN FRENCH.

I DON'T KNOW FRENCH.

OH, PLEASE? PLEASE?

WHAT ABOUT HEBREW?

OH.

IF I HAD TO PICK, PERSONALLY, THE FUNNIEST ONE,

I WOULD PICK "BANANAS."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Man: READY, AIM, FIRE.

[ GUNSHOT ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

OH, LET'S SEE.

21. WHO HAS 21?

Man: READY, AIM, FIRE. [ GUNSHOT ]

IN DECEMBER, I'M GOING TO GO INTO PRODUCTION

WITH A FILM THAT I WROTE

BASED ON DR. REUBEN'S BOOK,

"EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX,

BUT WE'RE AFRAID TO ASK."

I'VE WRITTEN A SCRIPT THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED

AS RABELAISIAN AND...

Cavett: WHAT WOULD BE ANOTHER WORD FOR IT?

UH, TRASHY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S AN EXPLORATION OF THE INS

AND OUTS, EVERY LITTLE NOOK

AND CRANNY OF OUR SEXUAL MOTIVATIONS

AND INTERESTS, AND GRAPHICALLY ILLUSTRATED.

IT WOULD BE SEXUAL RELATIONS

IF THE MARX BROTHERS WERE DOING THEM.

HEY! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE BABIES!

[ INDISTINCT MURMURING ]

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE!

I'M NOT GONNA GET SHOT OUT OF THAT THING.

WHAT IF HE'S MASTURBATING?

I'M LIABLE TO WIND UP ON THE CEILING.

NO.

Allen: BUT IN RETROSPECT,

I DON'T THINK IT WAS A VERY GOOD IDEA,

AND WOULD NOT DO IT AGAIN.

IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER, WOULD NOT DO IT AGAIN.

WOODY ALLEN WAS BUILDING A FAN BASE AT THIS TIME

IN THE '70s, BUT HE NEVER BECAME,

YOU KNOW, A HUGE BOX OFFICE ATTRACTION.

BUT HE WAS CLEVER.

HE MADE HIS FILMS ECONOMICALLY,

HE DIDN'T PAY HIMSELF VERY MUCH AT ALL,

IF ANYTHING, AND HE ADOPTED THE PHILOSOPHY

THAT IF HE MADE THE FILMS ECONOMICALLY

AND THEY MADE EVEN ONE DOLLAR,

HE'D BE GIVEN THE GO-AHEAD TO MAKE ANOTHER FILM.

YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT EVERYONE'S TASTE,

AND NEVER WAS.

IT'S ONE THING TO BE APPRECIATED DOWN IN THE VILLAGE

AT THE BITTER END AND ANOTHER ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

MY WORKING WITH HIM PROFESSIONALLY

IN BEING A PRODUCER, IT STILL AMAZES ME LOTS OF TIMES

WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE HIM OR KNOW HIS NAME,

BECAUSE TO ME HE WAS ALWAYS MY BROTHER.

NO, I THINK SHE LOOKS GOOD IN THE CLOTHES.

I THINK THIS IS -- THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

IT LOOKS NICE.

WHEN I WAS BORN, WOODY WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS A VERY DEVOTED BROTHER.

VERY -- WE WERE ALWAYS VERY CLOSE,

YOU KNOW, AND I IDOLIZED HIM.

Allen: SHE WAS JUST A CUTE LITTLE BABY GIRL.

THERE WAS NO SENSE OF COMPETITION OR ANYTHING.

SHE BECAME A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE

RIGHT AWAY AND I GOT ALONG WITH HER SWIMMINGLY.

YOU WERE VERY GOOD TO LETTY.

YOU -- WHEN SHE WENT TO SCHOOL,

YOU USED TO TAKE HER TO KINDERGARTEN AND BRING HER HOME.

THAT WAS YOUR BABY SISTER, YOU ADORED HER.

Lasser: HE WOULD DO A MAGIC ACT,

AND HE PUT HER IN THE AUDIENCE AS HIS SHILL.

SHE WAS LIKE THREE YEARS OLD.

SO HE WOULD DO SOMETHING AND SHE HAD TO SAY,

"LOOK AT HIS RIGHT HAND. LOOK AT HIS RIGHT HAND."

'CAUSE IT WOULD BE THE LEFT, RIGHT? LIKE THAT.

HE FELT THAT HE WANTED

TO EXPOSE HER TO GOOD THINGS

AND HE WOULD JUST TAKE HER ALL AROUND.

I ALWAYS FOUND THAT VERY TOUCHING.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

WE WERE IN THE SAME -- AT P.S. 99 --

THE SAME SCHOOL A SHORT TIME

BECAUSE HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN ME.

I USED TO -- WE'D SNEAK OFF AND PLAY HOOKY

WITH ANY NUMBER OF PEOPLE.

WE USED GO TO THE MOVIES IN MANHATTAN.

THAT WAS ONE OF MY GREAT JOYS IN LIFE.

Aronson: I WAS AWARE OF SOME OF HIS TRUANCY.

I KNEW BECAUSE I HAD BEEN WARNED BY WOODY

THAT WHEN MRS. FLETCHER, THE PRINCIPAL,

CAME TO THE CLASS AND WOULD SAY,

"LETTY KONIGSBERG, IS YOUR MOTHER AT HOME?"

I WOULD KNOW TO SAY, "NO, I'M SORRY, SHE'S NOT AT HOME."

Allen: I DON'T HAVE GOOD THINGS TO SAY ABOUT SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW, I WAS THE WORLD'S WORST STUDENT.

I HATED SCHOOL WITH A PASSION, TO THIS DAY.

AND WHEN I THINK BACK ON IT, IT WAS A CURSE.

WHEN I GOT OLDER, THE NEIGHBORHOOD GOT TOUGHER.

A KID TRIED TO RUN ME OVER IN HERE,

AND I WAS PLAYING BALL AND HE DROVE HIS CAR

FAST RIGHT IN AND TRIED TO HIT ME WITH IT.

AND THAT IRON THING WAS NOT OVER THERE,

AND I WAS ABLE TO GET INTO THAT LITTLE POCKET.

SO HE COULDN'T GET ME WITH THE CAR,

BUT HE CAME REAL CLOSE.

Aronson: WOODY HAD DISDAIN FOR SCHOOL.

THE TEACHERS WERE NOT NICE IN THOSE DAYS.

THEY WERE VERY ANTI-SEMITIC.

THEY WERE ALMOST ALL GENTILES, AND HE WASN'T YOUR BEST STUDENT.

SO, YOU KNOW, HE WAS NOT TREATED NICELY

AND HE HAD NO REGARD FOR IT, HE DIDN'T CARE.

SO FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW,

HE WASN'T INTERESTED IN WHAT THEY WERE INTERESTED IN.

Allen: WE USED TO WRITE COMPOSITIONS IN CLASS,

AND I ALWAYS WROTE WHAT I THOUGHT AT THE TIME

WERE AMUSING ONES.

I WAS WRITING ABOUT THIS GIRL

AND I MADE ONE STANDARD JOKE ABOUT HER.

YOU KNOW, SHE HAD AN HOURGLASS FIGURE

AND I WANTED TO PLAY IN THE SAND,

AND YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THE FUSS THAT THEY MADE.

UGH! HE KISSED ME! HE KISSED ME! YECCH!

THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS MONTH.

STEP UP HERE.

WHAT DID I DO? STEP UP HERE!

WHAT DID I DO? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

Alvy: WHY? I WAS JUST EXPRESSING

A HEALTHY SEXUAL CURIOSITY.

SIX-YEAR-OLD BOYS DON'T HAVE GIRLS ON THEIR MINDS.

I DID. FOR GOD SAKES, ALVY,

EVEN FREUD SPEAKS OF A LATENCY PERIOD.

WELL, I NEVER HAD A LATENCY PERIOD.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

THIS WAS THE FRONT OF THE SCHOOL,

PUBLIC SCHOOL 99,

ISAAC ASIMOV SCHOOL FOR SCIENCE AND LITERATURE.

AND IT'S IRONIC, 'CAUSE YEARS LATER,

ASIMOV WAS A WONDERFUL GUY

AND MARSHALL BRICKMAN AND I SENT HIM THE SCRIPT OF "SLEEPER"

BEFORE WE DID THE MOVIE AND SAID,

"IS THERE ANYTHING IN HERE THAT WE SHOULD BE ALERTED TO

THAT DOESN'T STRIKE YOU AS REAL, OR..."

AND HE READ IT FOR US AND SAID,

"NO, NO, IT'S VERY GOOD," AND IT WAS VERY HELPFUL.

HELLO. I'M RAGS. WOOF. WOOF.

IS HE HOUSEBROKEN, OR WILL HE BE LEAVING

LITTLE BATTERIES ALL OVER THE FLOOR?

Man: BY THE WAY, "SLEEPER" IS

THE FIRST REFERENCE I EVER REMEMBER TO CLONING.

RIGHT. AT THAT TIME -- THAT'S WHY I EXPLAINED IT

IN THE MOVIE, 'CAUSE PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW

WHAT CLONING WAS THEN. THEY HAD NO IDEA.

NOW, IT'S, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY CLONES.

[ LAUGHS ]

ONE DAY, I -- I WAS

WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND THOUGHT, "GOSH,

IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY TO DO A MOVIE

WHERE I GET FROZEN AND WAKE UP IN THE FUTURE."

Miles: I'M A CLARINET PLAYER IN 1973,

I GO INTO THE HOSPITAL FOR A LOUSY OPERATION,

I WAKE UP 200 YEARS LATER, AND I'M FLASH GORDON.

Allen: MY FIRST THOUGHT

WAS THAT IT WOULD BE A THREE-HOUR FILM, A TWO-PARTER.

THE FIRST HALF BEFORE THE INTERMISSION

WAS GOING TO BE THIS GUY'S LIFE IN NEW YORK, CONTEMPORARY.

AND AT THE END OF THE HOUR, THE HOUR AND A HALF,

I WOULD FALL INTO A VAT OF, YOU KNOW,

THE CRYOGENIC VAT AND GET FROZEN.

AND THEN THERE WAS GOING TO BE AN INTERMISSION

WHERE PEOPLE GO OUT AND BUY POPCORN.

Allen: AND WHEN THEY'D COME IN FOR THE SECOND HALF,

WE'D BE TOTALLY IN THE FUTURE.

WE'D BE 200 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.

AND WE VERY SOON WERE DISABUSED OF THAT

FOR A LOT OF REASONS.

Allen: IT WAS SUCH A MASSIVE UNDERTAKING

THAT I SAID,

YOU KNOW, FORGET IT.

WE'LL JUST DO THE FUTURISTIC PART OF IT.

CAN I HELP YOU?

WOULD YOU CHANGE HIS HEAD FOR ME PLEASE?

SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE AESTHETIC.

Man: YOU GOT ROOM IN THERE FOR ANOTHER HEAD CHANGE?

YEAH. SURE.

Allen: ANOTHER PLOY THAT --

THAT INTERESTED ME IN THAT WAS I WANTED TO DO

SOMETHING WHERE I WOKE UP IN A SOCIETY

WHERE NOBODY SPOKE AND I WOULD HAVE HAD TO

HAVE PLAYED THE WHOLE FILM AS A FUGITIVE, BUT SILENT.

AND IT WOULD'VE GIVEN ME AN EXCUSE TO MAKE

A SILENT COMEDY WITHOUT ACTUALLY GOING

AND DOING A THROWBACK.

Brickman: WE WANTED TO DO A MOVIE WITHOUT ANY DIALOGUE.

A VERY, VERY STUPID IDEA.

AND THEN WE REALIZED THAT OUR STRONG SUIT

WAS ACTUALLY DIALOGUE.

WHAT'S IT FEEL LIKE TO BE DEAD FOR 200 YEARS?

IT'S LIKE SPENDING A WEEKEND IN BEVERLY HILLS.

SOME OF THE IDEA OF DOING PHYSICAL COMEDY

DID REMAIN.

THERE ARE THREE OR FOUR SEQUENCES THAT ARE --

YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONE WITH THE LITTLE HELICOPTER BACKPACK.

OF COURSE, THERE'S THAT ONE SEQUENCE WITH THE GIANT BANANA.

OH, MY GOD.

I BEAT A MAN INSENSIBLE WITH A STRAWBERRY.

Man: IS HE USUALLY -- IS HE EASY TO BREAK UP?

NO. NOT, NOT -- BUT WHEN HE DOES, THAT'S IT.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, ONCE HE STARTS LAUGHING,

THEN HE JUST KEEPS LAUGHING.

OKAY. LET'S GO.

Man: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

Allen: KEATON MAKES ME LAUGH PROBABLY

MORE THAN ANY OTHER PERSON, BECAUSE SHE'S SO FUNNY.

Man: AND ACTION.

WHEN WE WERE DOING "SLEEPER," THEY WERE REVIVING ME

BY TRYING TO RECREATE MY HOME LIFE.

THIS WAS SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL PLOY.

BUT KEATON, PLAYING MY MOTHER,

WAS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME THAT I COULDN'T --

I COULDN'T ACT THE SCENE WITH HER.

Keaton: NU, WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE?

COME IN! YOUR FOOD IS GETTING COLD!

[Laughing] I CAN'T.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MILES, I COOKED YOUR FAVORITE,

A NICE BOWL OF HOT SELTZER WATER.

[ LAUGHS ]

Allen: I MEAN, I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

I TRIED AND I TRIED AND I TRIED.

SORRY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Allen: I'D SUDDENLY BE LOOKING AT HER

AND SHE'D BE LOOKING UP AT ME AND I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING.

I WOULD JUST NOT BE ABLE TO STOP.

NU, WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE?

COME IN!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO ONTO ELSE.

I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T DO THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Allen: I RECALL, VERY EARLY, BEING TAKEN TO A DISNEY FILM.

I THINK IT WAS "SNOW WHITE."

I REMEMBER BOLTING OUT OF MY SEAT

TO TRY AND RUN UP THE AISLE AND TOUCH THE SCREEN

'CAUSE I WAS SO FASCINATED WITH WHAT IT WAS.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,

WE DIDN'T -- WE HAD NO IDEA

WHAT THAT PROCESS WAS.

AND SO I WOULD SIT AND A KID NEXT TO ME IN CLASS WOULD SAY,

"I WAS AT THE MOVIE THEATER, YOU KNOW, ON SATURDAY,

AND I FINISHED MY RAISINETS AND I MADE A SPITBALL

OUT OF MY CARDBOARD BOX, YOU KNOW,

WITH A PIECE OF MY CARDBOARD BOX,

AND I THREW THE SPITBALL UP AND HIT THE SCREEN,

AND WHEN IT HIT THE SCREEN, IT BURST INTO FLAME."

SO I SAID, "NO KIDDING, REALLY?"

AND, YOU KNOW, AND I WANTED TO --

I WANTED TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS --

WHAT THAT PROCESS WAS.

AND THERE WAS A MOVIE THEATER HERE

AND I USED THE NAME OF IT IN "PURPLE ROSE."

IT WAS CALLED THE JEWEL.

AND THE JEWEL WAS ONE OF THE FIRST MOVIE HOUSES

IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD TO SHOW FOREIGN FILMS.

I SAW MY FIRST INGMAR BERGMAN FILM THERE.

AND IT WAS RIGHT AROUND HERE --

I THINK IT WAS ON THE NEXT BLOCK.

COULD THIS HAVE BEEN IT?

MAYBE THIS WAS IT.

MAYBE THIS WAS IT.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE JEWEL.

I LIVED IN BROOKLYN IN THIS REPRESSED ERA.

THERE WAS A BERGMAN FILM PLAYING IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

WITH HARRIET ANDERSSON.

IT WAS "SUMMER WITH MONIKA."

AND SHE WAS ALLEGEDLY NAKED IN THE FILM.

SO I BEAT A QUICK PATH

TO THE DOOR AND I WENT TO SEE THAT FILM

JUST SO I COULD SEE A WOMAN WITHOUT HER CLOTHES ON.

AND IT WAS A FABULOUS MOVIE APART FROM THE NUDITY.

THEN A FEW YEARS LATER,

THEY SHOWED "THE SEVENTH SEAL"

AND "WILD STRAWBERRIES" AND "THE MAGICIAN."

Allen: I THOUGHT THAT IT'S POINTLESS FOR ME

TO WORK ANYMORE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVER

BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS.

BERGMAN, YOU KNOW, HAD JUST REACHED THE LIMITS

OF WHAT YOU COULD DO IN FILM,

AND THERE WAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

SO I FOUND MYSELF

IN AN ODD POSITION WHERE I WAS

INFLUENCED BY GROUCHO MAX

AND BOB HOPE AND INGMAR BERGMAN.

I MEAN, THERE WAS NO

RATIONALITY TO IT.

AND SO YOU WOULD GET A FILM LIKE "LOVE AND DEATH,"

FOR EXAMPLE, WHICH WAS A FILM THAT HAS

A BERGMAN INFLUENCE

BUT IS SO CLEARLY A COMIC FILM.

BORIS! BORIS, WHAT HAPPENED?

I GOT SCREWED.

HOW? I DON'T KNOW.

SOME VISION CAME AND SAID THAT

I WAS GONNA GET PARDONED, AND THEY SHOT ME.

YOU WERE MY ONE GREAT LOVE!

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE THAT.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M DEAD.

Allen: AND SO I WAS KICKING AROUND MY HOUSE

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO DO,

AND I JUST HAPPENED TO SEE

A RUSSIAN HISTORY BOOK ON MY SHELF.

I THOUGHT, "GEE, IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO DO A FILM

BASED ON ALL THAT RUSSIAN LITERATURE

AND ALL THOSE RUSSIAN CLICHES."

♪

[ MAN WHISTLES ]

YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A GREAT LOVE

OF HEAVY LITERATURE AND HEAVY THEMES IN GENERAL.

I'M INTERESTED AND ATTRACTED TO THEM

AND ALSO FIND THEM VERY FUNNY.

NON-EXISTENCE,

BLACK EMPTINESS.

Sonja: WHAT'D YOU SAY?

OH, I WAS -- I WAS JUST PLANNING MY FUTURE.

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS AN AREA WHERE I COULD THEN

GET IN A LOT OF SUBJECT MATTER THAT I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT,

PHILOSOPHICAL THEMES AND DEATH AND LONGING,

AND THEN I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN TO DO THAT AND, YOU KNOW,

I THOUGHT I'D DO A BIG CARTOON FILM ABOUT IT

AND TRY TO MAKE IT AS FUNNY AS I COULD MAKE IT AT THE TIME.

BOY, THIS -- THIS ARMY COOKING WILL GET YOU EVERY TIME.

OH, GOD IS TESTING US.

IF HE'S GOING TO TEST US,

WHY DOESN'T HE GIVE US A WRITTEN?

THOUGH I DO I FEEL THAT

THE FIRST GROUP OF FOUR OR FIVE FILMS

THAT I MADE WERE FUNNY FOR THE MOST PART,

THAT ONE COULD SAY

THAT THEY WERE ESSENTIALLY TRIVIAL AND BE RIGHT.

[ LAUGHS ]

IN "LOVE AND DEATH,"

YOU COULD SEE THE INFLUENCE OF BOB HOPE,

BECAUSE YOU SEE PHYSICAL COWARDICE

IN THE TEETH OF WARFARE.

THAT'S A STRONG SUIT OF BOB HOPE'S,

AND WOODY IS ALL OVER THAT

IN "LOVE AND DEATH."

IF YOU SO MUCH AS COME NEAR THE COUNTESS,

I'LL SEE THAT YOU NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN.

IF A MAN SAID THAT TO ME, I'D BREAK HIS NECK.

I AM A MAN.

WELL, I MEAN A MUCH SHORTER MAN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Allen: BOB HOPE

WAS A BIG INFLUENCE ON ME.

I CAN SEE IT ALL OVER ME IN FILMS.

THIS MAN IS MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE, A COMMON BARBER.

ARE YOU GOING TO ACCEPT THAT?

WELL, A MAN'S ENTITLED TO AN OPINION.

SLAP HIM BACK.

YOU'RE LUCKY I HAVEN'T GOT A SWORD.

HMM.

YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS.

Allen: I WOULD GET INTO HIS SUIT,

SO TO SPEAK.

BUT WHEN I DO HIM AND HE DOES HIM,

THERE IS THE WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.

I DO, YOU KNOW, A CLUMSY VERSION.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

[ SIGHS ]

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'D PREFER SOMETHING SEXY, BUT...

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE,

SOMETHING TO PUT YOU IN THE MOOD?

OH, I'VE BEEN IN THE MOOD SINCE THE LATE 1700s.

Allen: IT WAS A TOUGH MOVIE TO MAKE.

I MEAN, IT WAS COLD AND LABORIOUS

AND, YOU KNOW, VERY HARD WORK, I FOUND,

NOT EASY, BUT FUN TO WRITE.

BUT IF THERE IS NO GOD, WELL, THEN LIFE HAS NO MEANING.

WHY GO ON LIVING? WHY NOT JUST COMMIT SUICIDE?

WELL, LET'S NOT GET HYSTERICAL.

I COULD BE WRONG.

I'D HATE TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT

AND THEN READ IN THE PAPERS THEY FOUND SOMETHING.

IT'S REALLY EXCITING TO SEE THE DEVELOPMENT

OF WOODY ALLEN FROM WRITING STAND UP,

MONOLOGUE, TALK SHOW,

"BANANAS," "SLEEPER," TO THE FILMMAKER.

I'M NOT SURE I QUICKLY PERCEIVED THE IMPORTANCE OF "ANNIE HALL"

IN TERMS OF BEING A DEPARTURE FROM

STUFF HE'D DONE BEFORE, BUT I KNEW THAT WE WERE

ON TO SOMETHING SPECIAL SEEING THAT FILM.

YEAH, EVERYBODY DID.

David: I REMEMBER WHEN "ANNIE HALL" CAME OUT,

THERE WAS THIS KIND OF BUZZ IN NEW YORK

THAT WAS ELECTRIFYING.

I HADN'T SEEN THE MOVIE, BUT IT ALMOST FRIGHTENED ME,

THE WAY MY UNCLE TOLD ME,

"DON'T GO SEE 'HOUSE OF WAX' IN 3D."

YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE, "WHAT?"

YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE SOME KIND OF

EARTH-CHANGING EVENT WAS TAKING PLACE.

Allen: UNTIL "ANNIE HALL,"

I HAD BEEN INTERESTED ONLY IN MAKING THE AUDIENCE LAUGH.

AND THERE WERE MANY PEOPLE AROUND ME

THAT SAID, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO

A PICTURE LIKE 'ANNIE HALL' FOR?

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN MAKE AUDIENCES LAUGH

AND BE FUNNY, AND MY FRIENDS AND I,

WE ALL MUCH WOULD RATHER SEE A 'BANANAS'

OR 'LOVE AND DEATH.'"

AND I FELT, "I'LL SACRIFICE

SOME OF THE LAUGHS

FOR A STORY

ABOUT HUMAN BEINGS, AND THEY WILL

GET INVOLVED IN THE STORY

IN A WAY THAT THEY HAD NOT EVER

BEEN INVOLVED BEFORE,

AND IT WOULD BE RICHER

AND IT WOULD BE A BETTER EXPERIENCE FOR THEM

AND FUN FOR ME TO TRY, AND THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN

IS I'LL MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF."

YEAH, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I'M OBSESSED WITH DEATH, I THINK.

IT'S A BIG SUBJECT WITH ME, YEAH.

I HAVE A VERY PESSIMISTIC VIEW OF LIFE.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ABOUT ME IF WE'RE GONNA GO OUT.

YOU KNOW, I JUST FEEL THAT LIFE IS DIVIDED UP

INTO THE HORRIBLE AND THE MISERABLE.

THOSE ARE THE TWO CATEGORIES, YOU KNOW?

THE HORRIBLE WOULD BE LIKE, UM,

I DON'T KNOW, TERMINAL CASES, YOU KNOW,

AND BLIND PEOPLE, CRIPPLES.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GET THROUGH LIFE.

IT'S AMAZING TO ME, YOU KNOW,

AND THE MISERABLE IS EVERYONE ELSE, THAT'S --

SO WHEN YOU GO THROUGH LIFE, YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL

THAT YOU'RE MISERABLE, BECAUSE THAT'S --

YOU'RE VERY LUCKY TO BE MISERABLE.

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT I'D READ

ANYTHING OF WOODY'S THAT WAS SO

PERSONALLY TOUCHING.

IT WAS A LOVE STORY,

AND IT WAS A SHOCK TO READ IT,

AND I JUST THOUGHT,

"THIS IS WONDERFUL."

AND IT WAS -- IT WAS AN EXPRESSION

OF SUCH TREMENDOUS GROWTH FOR WOODY, THAT SCRIPT.

U.A. HAD ALWAYS PRIDED ITSELF ON BEING VERY DIRECTOR-

AND WRITER-FRIENDLY RATHER THAN STAR-FRIENDLY.

ARTHUR KRIM WAS COSIMO DE' MEDICI.

HE HAD KNIGHTED WOODY AS A KNIGHT OF THE CHURCH,

AND ARTHUR KRIM WOULD SIT DOWN AT A TABLE,

LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, DECIDE HOW CRAZY YOU WERE.

HE WOULD ASK YOU HOW MUCH MONEY YOU NEEDED TO MAKE THE MOVIE.

YOU WOULD TELL HIM, HE WOULD GIVE YOU

A LITTLE BIT LESS, BECAUSE IT --

YOU KNOW, IT BUILDS CHARACTER.

THEY WATCHED THE BUDGETS VERY CAREFULLY

AND THEY WERE VERY SUPPORTIVE AND THEY HAD AN AMAZING RUN,

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF THAT.

THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING THAT OCCURRED TO WOODY

WHILE WE WERE MAKING THAT FILM,

THAT, "NOW I SHOULD START MAKING FILMS

A LITTLE MORE MATURE, THAT AREN'T JUST GAGS

AND VIGNETTES THROWN TOGETHER.

LET'S START MAKING THEM, YOU KNOW,

A LITTLE MORE COHESIVE."

AND SO I THINK THERE WAS

A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO PUT SOME

REAL FILMMAKERS TOGETHER TO HELP ACHIEVE THIS.

AT THAT TIME,

THE MOST CELEBRATED NEW YORK CAMERAMAN WAS GORDON WILLIS.

AND GORDY, WHO THEY USED TO CALL

"THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS" --

ALWAYS WENT FOR GREAT DARKNESS --

HE DID "THE GODFATHER."

EVERYONE HAD ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT HIM

AS SUCH A GREAT CINEMATOGRAPHER.

Lauder: PUTTING GORDON WILLIS AND WOODY TOGETHER WAS LIKE

A VERY ODD PAIRING BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WOODY WAS THIS SORT OF

LOOSEY-GOOSEY COMEDIAN AND GORDON WAS THIS

VERY STRICT, DISCIPLINED PHOTOGRAPHER

WHO HAD A CONTROVERSIAL REPUTATION

FOR CRANKINESS, AND IT JUST LOOKED LIKE,

YOU KNOW, "THIS WILL NEVER WORK."

I PROBABLY DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD REPUTATION

AS MR. SMILE, YOU KNOW, SO HE THOUGHT,

"GEE, I'M GETTING INVOLVED WITH A MONSTER HERE."

WE HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY.

WE CHATTED

AND HE WAS VERY SMART AND I LIKED HIM VERY MUCH.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS CLEAR

RIGHT AWAY THAT I HAD A LOT TO LEARN FROM HIM

AND THAT HE WAS

A GREAT CINEMATOGRAPHER IN EVERY WAY.

Keaton: WOODY DID CHOOSE GORDON WILLIS

TO BE THE CINEMATOGRAPHER,

AND FOR A COMEDY, THAT WAS UNHEARD OF.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS

BE THE CINEMATOGRAPHER FOR A COMEDY.

NOBODY COULD BELIEVE IT,

AND SO IT WAS A TERRIFYING PROSPECT,

BUT WOODY TOOK IT ON, AND HE MADE A GREAT CHOICE.

THE FIRST SHOT I EVER DID WITH

GORDON WILLIS IN MY LIFE, THE FIRST SCENE

THAT WE EVER SHOT IN "ANNIE HALL,"

WAS THE LOBSTER SCENE.

HOLD IT, THAT ONE. THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT,

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST CALL THE POLICE,

DIAL 911. IT'S THE LOBSTER SQUAD.

COME ON, ALVY, THEY'RE ONLY BABY ONES, FOR GOD SAKES.

IF THEY'RE ONLY BABIES, THEN YOU PICK THEM UP.

OH, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

HERE. HERE YOU GO.

DON'T GIVE IT TO ME. DON'T! LOOK! ONE --

ONE CRAWLED BEHIND THE REFRIGERATOR.

IT WILL TURN UP IN OUR BED AT NIGHT.

WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT THING?

[ LAUGHS ] JESUS!

TALK TO THEM. YOU SPEAK SHELLFISH.

Willis: ONE OF THE NICE THINGS ABOUT WORKING WITH WOODY

OVER THE TIME THAT WE WORKED TOGETHER WAS IT --

MORE OR LESS LIKE WORKING WITH YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS.

IT'S VERY EASY, PLEASANT.

GORDIE WAS THE ONE WHO SAID TO ME,

"WHEN WE DO THE SPLIT SCREEN WITH THE SHRINK" --

I'M WITH ONE SHRINK AND SHE'S WITH ANOTHER ONE --

HE SAID, "DON'T DO A SPLIT SCREEN.

BUILD IT. BUILD A SET WITH A -- WITH A DIVIDER IN THE MIDDLE,

SO YOU'RE BOTH LIVE.

IT'LL LOOK LIKE A SPLIT SCREEN, BUT IT WON'T BE."

Willis: THAT WAS A REVELATION FOR HIM

AT THAT POINT 'CAUSE IT MEANT

BOTH ACTORS COULD DO THE SCENE, YOU KNOW,

WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED WITH DOING

HALF THE SCENE AND THEN HALF A SCENE

AND PUTTING IT TOGETHER OPTICALLY.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE DID.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP TOGETHER?

Woman: DO YOU HAVE SEX OFTEN?

HARDLY EVER. MAYBE THREE TIMES A WEEK.

CONSTANTLY. I'D SAY THREE TIMES A WEEK.

IT WAS A SOMEWHAT PRECOCIOUS FILM, I THINK,

BECAUSE IT WAS -- AS I RECALL,

THERE WAS A ROUGH CUT THAT WAS WELL OVER TWO HOURS.

I THOUGHT OF IT ONLY AS -- REALLY AS A COMEDY,

YOU KNOW, AND I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS

PUTTING IT TOGETHER ORIGINALLY THAT IT WOULD BE FUN

FOR PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT WENT ON IN MY MIND.

THAT WAS GOING TO BE THE MOVIE.

YOU WERE GOING TO SEE WHAT GOES ON IN HIS MIND,

GOING FROM BIT TO BIT WITHOUT MUCH PLOT.

IT BECAME APPARENT IN THE EDITING ROOM

THAT THE PICTURE WAS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

THE RELATIONSHIP WAS SO STRONG THAT NOBODY

WANTED TO SEE WHAT WENT ON IN MY MIND.

THEY WANTED TO GET BACK TO THIS STORY OF THE TWO PEOPLE.

HI. HI.

OH, HI. HI.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL,

BYE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU PLAY VERY WELL.

OH, YEAH? SO DO YOU.

OH, GOD. WHAT A DUMB THING TO SAY, RIGHT?

I MEAN, YOU SAID, "YOU PLAY WELL,"

THEN RIGHT AWAY, I HAVE TO SAY, "YOU PLAY WELL."

OH. OH, GOD, ANNIE.

WELL...OH, WELL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

LA-DI-DAH, LA-DI-DAH, LA-LA. YEAH.

KEATON WAS SO COMPELLING, YOU KNOW,

THAT WHEN SHE WASN'T ON-SCREEN

OR THE STORY WASN'T ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP,

EVEN IF SHE WAS ON-SCREEN, YOU DIDN'T CARE.

THE WHOLE WORLD FELL IN LOVE

WITH DIANE KEATON, BUT WOODY ALLEN FELL

IN LOVE WITH HER FIRST, AND HE MADE THAT CONTAGIOUS.

HEY, LISTEN. LISTEN.

WHAT? GIVE ME A KISS.

REALLY? YEAH. WHY NOT? BECAUSE WE'RE JUST

GOING TO GO HOME LATER, RIGHT?

AND THERE'S GOING TO BE ALL THAT TENSION,

YOU KNOW, WE NEVER KISSED BEFORE

AND I'LL NEVER KNOW WHEN TO MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE

OR ANYTHING, SO WE'LL KISS NOW,

WE'LL GET IT OVER WITH, THEN WE'LL GO EAT, OKAY?

OH. ALL RIGHT. AND WE'LL DIGEST OUR FOOD BETTER.

OKAY.

OKAY? SO NOW WE CAN DIGEST OUR FOOD, OKAY? YEAH.

HE WAS JUST UNFATHOMABLE, I THINK, MAINLY TO MY PARENTS

AND PARTICULARLY MY GRANDMOTHER.

YOU'RE WHAT GRAMMY HALL WOULD CALL A REAL JEW.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

THANK YOU.

Allen: THERE IS A GRAMMY HALL.

THAT WAS -- THAT'S KEATON'S GRANDMOTHER,

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

JUST AN ELDERLY LADY WHO LIVES IN CALIFORNIA.

Keaton: SHE WOULD CALL HIM THIS ODD JEW,

BUT SHE WAS A TOTAL RACIST, AND SO

I WASN'T REALLY VERY PROUD OF HER

WITH REGARD TO THAT AND HER ATTITUDE ABOUT WOODY,

AND, YOU KNOW, SHE'D SAY THINGS LIKE,

"OH, YEAH, HE'S JUST LIKE A JEW."

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S -- THAT'S WHY HE CAPTURED

THE ESSENCE OF MY FAMILY.

YEAH, NOT -- NOT VERY PRETTY.

"ANNIE HALL" IS THE FILM WHERE

HE MAKES THE DECISION NOT TO LEAD ALWAYS WITH JOKES,

THOUGH IT'S PACKED, PACKED WITH GREAT JOKES.

YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR COLLEGE PROFESSOR,

THAT JERK THAT TEACHES THAT INCREDIBLE CRAP COURSE,

CONTEMPORARY CRISIS IN WESTERN MAN.

EXISTENTIAL MOTIFS IN RUSSIAN LITERATURE.

YOU'RE REALLY CLOSE.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S ALL MENTAL MASTURBATION.

OH, WELL, NOW WE'RE FINALLY GETTING

TO A SUBJECT YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT.

HEY, DON'T KNOCK MASTURBATION.

IT'S SEX WITH SOMEONE I LOVE.

McGrath: IT'S THE FIRST FILM

WHERE IT'S TRULY GROUNDED IN ADULT FEELING.

THIS IS THE ONE WHERE HE THINKS,

"I'M GOING TO GO WITH FEELING FIRST

AND PEOPLE FIRST, AND THE JOKES HAVE TO

COME OUT OF THOSE PEOPLE."

AND SO, YOU KNOW, IT FEELS LIKE A LANDMARK CHANGE.

LET'S FACE IT.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK OUR RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING.

I KNOW. A RELATIONSHIP, I THINK, IS LIKE A SHARK.

YOU KNOW, IT HAS TO CONSTANTLY MOVE FORWARD OR IT DIES.

AND I THINK WHAT WE'VE GOT ON OUR HANDS IS A DEAD SHARK.

THE STORY HE TELLS IS THE STORY OF EVERYBODY WHO FALLS IN LOVE

AND THEN FALLS OUT OF LOVE AND GOES ON,

AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO UNIVERSAL

AND SO MEANINGFUL TO SO MANY PEOPLE.

THE BUILD-UP WAS SUCH THAT -- THAT IT FELT LIKE

A BOMB WAS ABOUT TO GO OFF IN NEW YORK THAT WAS GOING TO

CHANGE THE WAY COMEDIES WERE MADE FOREVER,

AND I GUESS PERHAPS IN A WAY IT DID.

IT WAS -- IT WAS THAT KIND OF MOVIE.

WE SPEAK OF "ANNIE HALL" AS A GAME CHANGER.

IT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A GAME CHANGER FOR WOODY ALLEN,

BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO GO WHERE WANTS TO GO,

BUT IT WAS A GAME CHANGER FOR THE INDUSTRY.

I THINK COMEDY ITSELF BEGAN TO BE REEVALUATED.

DID WE GET A SENSE THAT THIS WAS SOME SORT OF CULTURAL AVALANCHE?

NO. NO.

THERE ARE SUBCULTURES THAT EXIST,

AND SOMETIMES YOU HIT ONTO

ONE OF THEM AND YOU REALIZE

THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THERE THAT WASN'T THERE,

AND I GUESS THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE

READY FOR THIS MOVIE.

HEY, HOW MUCH IS THIS STUFF, INCIDENTALLY?

THAT'S ABOUT $2,000 AN OUNCE.

GOD. REALLY? AND WHAT IS THE KICK OF IT?

WHICH I NEVER --

[ SNEEZES ]

Lauder: I DIDN'T GO TO THE EVENT BECAUSE

IN THE OFFICE POOLS,

"STAR WARS" WAS THE HANDS-DOWN WINNER.

WOODY SAID, "I'M NOT GOING TO GO OUT TO THE AWARDS

BECAUSE I HAVE THE BAND.

I HAVE OUR JAZZ BAND ON MONDAY NIGHTS."

AND I THOUGHT, "OKAY, THAT'S A KIND OF GENIUS.

HE'S REALLY MAKING A VERY SIGNIFICANT STATEMENT

THAT'S GOING TO CARRY HIM A LONG WAY."

I SAID, "BUT I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A STATEMENT.

I WANT TO GO."

MUCH TO OUR SURPRISE, WE PICKED UP FOUR AWARDS,

WHICH WAS ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY,

BEST DIRECTOR FOR WOODY, BEST FILM,

AND BEST ACTRESS FOR DIANE.

Allen: THE NEXT MORNING, I GOT UP, YOU KNOW,

I GOT THE NEW YORK TIMES DELIVERED TO MY APARTMENT,

AND I NOTICED ON THE FRONT PAGE ON THE BOTTOM,

IT SAID THAT "'ANNIE HALL' WINS FOUR ACADEMY AWARDS,"

SO I GO, "OH, THAT'S GREAT."

Cavett: SOMEBODY AT THE JACK ROLLINS OFFICE HEARD

JACK SAY TO WOODY, "WOODY, ARE YOU ADAMANT

ABOUT THIS IDEA THAT YOU DON'T WANT

'ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING FILM,' YOU DON'T WANT THAT PHRASE

IN THE ADS ANYWHERE WITHIN A HUNDRED MILES OF NEW YORK?"

AND HE SAID, "THAT'S RIGHT."

AND JACK SAID, "COULD WE MAKE IT 50, WOODY?"

[ LAUGHS ]

I THINK WHAT YOU GET IN AWARDS IS FAVORITISM.

I MEAN, PEOPLE CAN SAY,

"OH, MY FAVORITE MOVIE WAS 'ANNIE HALL,'"

BUT THE IMPLICATION IS THAT IT'S THE BEST MOVIE,

AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE.

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN MAKE THAT JUDGMENT.

EXCEPT FOR TRACK, TRACK AND FIELD, YOU KNOW,

WHERE ONE GUY RUNS AND YOU SEE THAT HE WINS,

THEN IT'S OKAY.

I WON THOSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,

AND THOSE WERE NICE, 'CAUSE I KNEW I DESERVED THEM.

I WOULD LIKE TO, FOR INSTANCE, IN FILMS,

DO MORE SERIOUS FILMS.

I'D LIKE TO

NOT ACT IN THEM BUT TO WRITE AND DIRECT

MORE SERIOUS THINGS.

HE HAD THEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLORE THAT

IN HIMSELF AS AN ARTIST, RIGHT? OKAY.

HE TOOK IT. OTHER PEOPLE WOULDN'T.

OTHER PEOPLE WOULD STAY WITH WHAT

THEY FEEL IS SAFER, IN A SENSE.

NOT THAT ANYTHING'S REALLY SAFE,

BUT, I MEAN, IT'S TERRITORY THEY FEEL THAT

THEY CAN EXCEL.

BUT TO PUSH AND GO FURTHER,

THAT'S WHY HE HAD TO DO "INTERIORS,"

TO GET TO THAT POINT.

I FEEL I HAVE BEEN A DEDICATED HUSBAND,

A RESPONSIBLE FATHER, AND I HAVEN'T REGRETTED ANYTHING

I'VE BEEN CALLED UPON TO DO.

NOW I FEEL I WANT TO BE BY MYSELF FOR A WHILE.

CONSEQUENTLY, I'VE DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE,

BUT I FEEL IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TRY.

IT'S A SEPARATION,

AND I WANTED TO LAY IT ON THE TABLE

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO THAT EVERYTHING IS OPEN

AND AS DIRECT AS POSSIBLE.

Scorsese: AND HE HAD A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP

WITH UNITED ARTISTS,

WHICH, BY THE WAY,

WAS THE HOME OF INDEPENDENT FILMS.

I WAS, YOU KNOW, INDULGED BY THEM.

THEY SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE EARNED THE RIGHT

TO MAKE ANY FILM YOU WANT TO MAKE, SO,

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A VERY SERIOUS DRAMA, GO AHEAD

AND MAKE ONE."

I TALKED WITH YOUR DOCTOR.

HE FEELS YOU CAN HANDLE THIS.

YOU TALKED TO DR. LOBEL ABOUT THIS BEHIND MY BACK?

NOT BEHIND YOUR BACK. DISCREETLY.

YOU DISCUSSED THIS WITH DR. LOBEL BEHIND MY BACK.

IT'S SO HUMILIATING.

EVE, IT'S YOUR DOCTOR AND MYSELF.

NOW, HOW PRIVATE CAN ONE BE?

[ SIGHS ]

AND HE ASSURED YOU

THAT I CAN HANDLE IT, IS THAT RIGHT?

OH, HOW HUMILIATING!

YOU'RE NOT HUMILIATED.

OH, I JUST WANT TO DIE.

OH, STOP THAT.

[ SIGHS ]

I JUST HATE MY LIFE!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

[ INDISTINCT ARGUING ]

Lasser: BUT HIS DESIRE ALWAYS HAD BEEN AND HAS BEEN

TO BE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY.

AND THE DARK SIDE OF HIM IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF HIM,

IN HIS WORK AND IN HIM.

AND IT'S HIS --

IT'S A GREAT THING AND IT'S A TORTURE.

I PUT A HIGHER VALUE ON THE TRAGIC MUSE

THAN THE COMIC MUSE.

I'VE ALWAYS FELT THAT TRAGIC WRITING,

TRAGIC THEATER,

TRAGIC FILM CONFRONTS REALITY HEAD-ON AND DOESN'T

SATIRIZE IT, TEASE IT, KID IT, DEFLECT IT,

OPT OUT WITH SOME KIND OF A GAG AT THE LAST MINUTE.

IT'S HARDER FOR ME,

I EMBARRASS MYSELF MORE READILY,

BUT I GET MORE PLEASURE OUT OF FAILING IN A PROJECT

THAT I AM ENTHUSED OVER THAN IN SUCCEEDING

IN A PROJECT THAT I KNOW I CAN DO WELL.

Maltin: AFTER TAKING A LOT OF FLACK FOR "INTERIORS"

BEING SO HEAVY AND DRAMATIC,

HE RESPONDED, AND SOME PEOPLE

WOULD SAY REBOUNDED, WITH HIS NEXT FILM.

HAVING DONE "ANNIE HALL,"

WHICH HAD A PARTICULAR KIND OF LOOK,

WE THOUGHT, "OKAY, NOW, HOW DO WE MAKE 'MANHATTAN'

BE A LITTLE MORE DISTINCTIVE VISUALLY?"

♪

THE DECISION TO SHOOT

"MANHATTAN" IN BLACK AND WHITE REALLY WAS

WOODY'S IDEA, BECAUSE I THINK BOTH OF US

PERCEIVE MANHATTAN AS LIKE A BLACK AND WHITE CITY.

IT'S STONE AND CONCRETE AND BLACKTOP.

WOODY ALLEN UNDERSTOOD SOMETHING ABOUT

BLACK AND WHITE THAT HOLLYWOOD HAD FORGOTTEN,

WHICH IS THAT IT ADDS GLAMOUR, AND SO ONE OF

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF "MANHATTAN" IS THAT

IT CREATES A NOSTALGIA FOR THE PRESENT.

HE LOVES NEW YORK SO MUCH.

I MEAN, IT'S HIS CITY.

AND IN THIS FILM, WHICH IS

JUST SUCH A LOVE LETTER TO NEW YORK, IT'S --

NOTHING'S DONE SO EXTRAORDINARILY WELL

THAT'S SAYS NEW YORK.

IT'S CONSTANTLY ALIVE.

IT'S LIKE A CITY THAT'S CONTINUALLY EVOLVING

AND EXTRAORDINARILY CREATIVE.

AND THE RHYTHM OF THE CITY FEEDS DIFFERENT SENSIBILITIES.

I WANTED TO SHOW NEW YORK

IN A VERY BEAUTIFUL WAY, THE WAY I SEE IT.

I NEVER HAD ANY INTEREST

IN SHOWING IT EXCEPT THROUGH MY ROSE-COLORED GLASSES,

MY ROMANTICIZED VIEW OF IT.

IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE HIS WORK.

BUT THEY ARE EXTREMELY FOREIGN TO ME.

IT'S ANOTHER -- NOT ANOTHER WORLD,

ANOTHER PLANET.

THE NEW YORK I KNOW IS REALLY --

YOU LOOK AT "MEAN STREETS," THAT'S MY --

WHERE I GREW UP,

AND "TAXI DRIVER" IS MY STATE OF MIND.

MANHATTAN IS SO BEAUTIFUL, SO YOU'RE SEEING --

EACH SHOT BECAME -- YOU KNOW, IT BECAME A PAINTING.

YEARS FROM NOW, PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO

LOOK BACK AT MY FILMS, AND THE ONLY REAL VALUE OF THEM

IS GOING TO BE THE BACKGROUND SCENERY.

Isaac: NEW YORK WAS HIS TOWN, AND IT ALWAYS WOULD BE.

♪

Allen: "MANHATTAN" WE WANTED TO SHOOT

WIDE SCREEN JUST BECAUSE IT WAS NOT

A WAR PICTURE OR A BIG-SCOPE PICTURE.

IT WAS AN INTIMATE LOVE STORY.

JUST BECAUSE OF THAT,

WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE INTERESTING.

THE GERSHWIN MUSIC IN MANHATTAN

IS REALLY A SECOND PART OF THE MOVIE.

YOU HAVE THE STORY GOING ON OF ALL THESE CHARACTERS,

AND THEN THIS MUSIC WAS JUST ABLE TO

INFORM THE AUDIENCE EMOTIONALLY ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.

IT REALLY MAKES THE MUSIC ANOTHER CHARACTER,

ANOTHER PART OF THE ENSEMBLE.

♪

THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE REGARDED AS COMEDIES

THAT ALWAYS BEWILDER ME.

"MANHATTAN" WAS A ROMANCE,

AND I GUESS IT'S THOUGHT OF AS A COMEDY

BECAUSE THE GENERAL STORY, YOU KNOW, WAS LIGHT.

I MEAN, IT WAS AMUSING.

I WAS IN LOVE WITH A YOUNG GIRL

AND THE GUY WAS

CHEATING ON HIS WIFE, AND IT'S MORE OF

A FOREIGN FILM INFLUENCE.

IN FOREIGN COMEDIES, YOU DON'T GET THOSE

KIND OF "JOKE COMEDIES" VERY OFTEN.

WHAT YOU GET MORE IS REGULAR DRAMATIC STORIES

BUT WITH A LITTLE LIGHT TOUCH TO THEM HERE AND THERE.

WELL, I'M OLD-FASHIONED.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD MATE FOR LIFE,

LIKE PIGEONS OR CATHOLICS.

Maltin: THERE WAS CERTAINLY POTENTIAL AWKWARDNESS

IN THE CASTING OF WOODY OPPOSITE

A TEENAGE GIRL IN "MANHATTAN,"

BUT I THINK THAT WAS DEFUSED IN A LOT OF WAYS

BY HIM FINDING THIS WONDERFUL YOUNG ACTRESS,

MARIEL HEMINGWAY,

WHO WAS JUST 18 AND WHO GAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL PERFORMANCE

AND BROUGHT SUCH FEELING TO IT

THAT SHE EVEN GOT AN OSCAR NOMINATION.

Hemingway: WOODY MADE ME FEEL

AS THOUGH I WAS PART OF THE PROCESS.

HE KNEW THAT I WAS SCARED, HE KNEW I WAS SHY,

HE KNEW I WAS THESE THINGS, SO HE SPENT TIME WITH ME

OFF THE SET, TAKING ME TO MUSEUMS

AND MAKING ME AWARE OF

WHAT I PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN AWARE OF

AS THAT YOUNG GIRL LIVING IN MANHATTAN.

NOW, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN IN A WOODY ALLEN FILM.

YOU KNOW, HE'S LIKE, YOU SHOW UP, YOU'RE THE ACTOR

AND HE FIGURES YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

AND HE LEAVES YOU ALONE, BASICALLY.

SO I THINK HE KNEW UNLESS HE BEFRIENDED ME

OR WE BECAME CLOSE THAT I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND,

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T GET IT.

SO WHEN IT CAME TO THAT SCENE

AT THE SODA FOUNTAIN

AND HE'S BREAKING UP WITH ME,

THERE WAS THIS NATURAL FEELING OF BREAKING APART A FAMILY.

THERE WAS A BREAKING APART OF SOMETHING

THAT HAD BECOME VERY FAMILIAR TO ME,

BECAUSE I REALLY CARED ABOUT HIM AS A FRIEND.

I REMEMBER LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

AND LISTENING TO WHAT HE SAID,

AND LISTENING VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.

THE TRUTH IS THAT I LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE.

YOU DO?

HEY, COME ON, YOU -- WE -- WE --

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TEMPORARY FLING.

YOU KNOW THAT.

YOU MET SOMEONE?

WHY SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THIS?

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I'VE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED YOU TO GO OUT WITH GUYS

MORE YOUR OWN AGE, GUYS -- KIDS FROM YOUR CLASS.

BILLY AND BIFF AND SCOOTER, YOU KNOW,

LITTLE TOMMY OR TERRY. I DON'T --

HEY, COME ON, DON'T CRY.

DON'T CRY.

COME ON, DON'T -- TRACY.

TRACY, DON'T -- COME ON, DON'T CRY, TRACY.

Hemingway: SO WHEN I CRIED, IT WAS REAL.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Hemingway: 'CAUSE I THOUGHT ABOUT,

"OH, THIS TOO WILL END," YOU KNOW.

"THIS FAMILY WILL BE GONE AND I WILL MISS YOU."

[ TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING ]

Feeney: I DON'T KNOW IF THE ACT OF FALLING IN LOVE

HAS EVER BEEN DONE WITH MORE POWER OR MORE ECONOMY

THAN IN THAT MOMENT BY THE 59th STREET BRIDGE

WHERE WOODY AND DIANE KEATON ARE SITTING ON THE PARK BENCH

WATCHING THE DAY COME UP.

IT WAS A PAIN IN THE NECK TO DO

BECAUSE I LIKE TO LIVE A REGULAR SCHEDULE.

I WENT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT AND I HAD TO WAKE UP

AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

PLUS, WE HAD TO BRING OUR OWN BENCH, YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE THERE'S NO BENCH THERE,

AND THEN WE STARTED SHOOTING AS THE LIGHT CAME UP.

♪

Mary: ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL OUT?

Isaac: YEAH, IT'S REALLY --

REALLY SO PRETTY WHEN THE LIGHT STARTS TO COME UP.

OH, I KNOW. I LOVE IT.

[ SIGHS ]

THIS IS REALLY A GREAT CITY.

I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.

IT'S JUST REALLY A KNOCK OUT, YOU KNOW?

WELL, I THINK I'D BETTER HEAD BACK.

Allen: WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD BE ICONIC,

BUT WE KNEW IT WOULD BE PRETTY, BUT NEVER THINKING

THAT ANYTHING WOULD COME OF IT OTHER THAN

IT WOULD BE A NICE SCENE IN THE PICTURE.

♪

Feeney: MOST PEOPLE TAKE IT AWAY

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY WANT TO FALL IN LOVE

OR THEY HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE.

IT EITHER PLAYS TO YOUR MEMORY OR IT PLAYS TO YOUR HOPE.

THAT'S THE SORT OF REAL TWILIGHT

THAT'S OPERATING UNDER THAT SHOT.

AND BECAUSE YOU TAKE IT AWAY WITH YOU,

IT BECOMES, IN SOME WAYS,

THE MOST POWERFUL SHOT IN THE FILM.

ALL RIGHT, WHY IS LIFE WORTH LIVING?

THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

Hemingway: YOU KNOW, THE FINAL SCENE WHEN HE'S

LYING ON THE COUCH AND REMEMBERING ALL THE THINGS

THAT MAKE HIM HAPPY.

TRACY'S FACE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Hemingway: AND THEN STOPPING AND RUNNING

DOWN THE STREET TO THAT MUSIC

AND THEN FINALLY COMING UP TO THAT DOOR

AND SEEING ME ABOUT TO LEAVE.

I MEAN, IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.

♪

AND I'M NOT SAYING, LIKE, "OH, ME!"

THAT WAS A FILM MOMENT WHERE YOU JUST GO,

"WOW. HOW INCREDIBLE IS THAT?"

AND THAT'S WHAT'S INSIDE OF HIM, YOU KNOW.

HE'S A ROMANTIC, HE'S A MUSH.

WHAT'S BEAUTIFUL ABOUT THE FINAL SCENE

IS THAT IT'S SO VULNERABLE.

I MEAN, HE WAS SO HONEST AND PURE IN THAT SCENE,

AND I DO BELIEVE THAT IT SHOWS HOW TALENTED

HE CAN BE AS AN ACTOR.

ALL THE STUFF GOES AWAY, YOU KNOW,

ALL THE "I'M A COMEDIC ACTOR" OR WHATEVER IS GONE

AND HE'S JUST RIGHT THERE WITH YOU,

AND IT WAS SO -- IT WAS SO SWEET

AND IT WAS SO TOUCHING.

[ SIGHS ]

DO YOU STILL LOVE ME, OR WHAT?

DO YOU LOVE ME?

WELL, YEAH, THAT'S WHY -- YEAH, OF COURSE.

THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW?

I'VE GOT TO MAKE A PLANE.

COME ON, YOU -- COME ON.

YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO...GO.

WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BROUGHT THIS UP LAST WEEK?

TRACY...

SIX MONTHS ISN'T SO LONG.

NOT EVERYBODY GETS CORRUPTED.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN PEOPLE.

♪

Hemingway: IT'S SUCH A SIMPLE LINE,

"HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN PEOPLE."

AND IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING THAT HE KNEW.

♪

THAT'S A HUGE STATEMENT FOR HIM.

I MEAN, HE WROTE THE LINE, YOU KNOW?

I DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP.

♪

Man: TELL ME ABOUT THE CRITICAL

AND PUBLIC RECEPTION TO "MANHATTAN," GENERALLY.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

WAS IT GOOD? THEY LIKED IT?

OH, WELL, WE GOT SOME VERY GOOD REVIEWS.

EVERYBODY LOVED "MANHATTAN."

JUST AS "ANNIE HALL" HAD BEEN A DEEPENING

OF WHAT HE'D BEEN DOING, I THINK PEOPLE THOUGHT,

"WOW, 'MANHATTAN'S' AN EVEN DEEPER

DEEPENING OF WHAT HE'D BEEN DOING."

THIS FILM WAS BIG.

THERE WAS A GROUND SWELL THAT HAPPENED AFTER CANNES

THAT JUST WENT CRAZY.

EVERYBODY WENT CRAZY FOR THIS FILM.

I REMEMBER ITS OPENING IN NEW YORK.

I MEAN, YOU JUST --

THERE WERE LINES AROUND THE BLOCK

AND THE REVIEWS WERE FANTASTIC.

WHEN I WAS FINISHED WITH IT, I DIDN'T LIKE THE FILM AT ALL.

AND I SAW IT AND...

AND I SPOKE TO UNITED ARTISTS AT THAT TIME

AND OFFERED TO MAKE A FILM FOR THEM FOR NOTHING

IF THEY WOULD NOT PUT IT OUT.

I JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE,

IF THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO,

THEY SHOULDN'T GIVE ME MONEY TO MAKE MOVIES."

WOODY'S NOTION FOR THE FILM WAS SO MUCH MORE AMBITIOUS,

I THINK, THAN WHAT HE GOT IN THE END,

OR WAS SO DIFFERENT FROM IT,

THAT HE WAS EXTRAORDINARILY DISAPPOINTED.

AND IT'S INTERESTING HOW AUDIENCES HAVE RESPONDED,

'CAUSE THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HIS HOPE OR DREAM WAS FOR THIS.

THEY JUST TOOK THIS AND JUST COMPLETELY

LATCHED ONTO IT IN A WAY THAT I THINK

STILL MYSTIFIES HIM.

AFTER "MANHATTAN," THE AUDIENCE WAS READY

TO FOLLOW WOODY ALLEN ANYWHERE.

ANYWHERE EXCEPT "STARDUST MEMORIES."

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE FUNNY MOVIES ANYMORE.

THEY CAN'T FORCE ME TO.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T FEEL FUNNY.

I LOOK AROUND THE WORLD AND ALL I SEE IS HUMAN SUFFERING.

I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN "STARDUST MEMORIES,"

I SAW IT THREE TIMES THE WEEK IT OPENED, RIGHT?

'CAUSE I KEPT FEELING IT'S MY FAULT,

BECAUSE HE WAS UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING

EVEN IF I COULDN'T QUITE BUY IN.

I WANTED TO. I WANTED TO FIND A WAY PAST.

AND THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THAT FILM

THAT IS UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL.

THAT WAS MY FAVORITE FILM FOR A WHILE.

IT WAS MY LEAST POPULAR FILM,

BUT IT'S CERTAINLY MY OWN PERSONAL FAVORITE.

Feeney: I WOULD BET YOU THAT

WOODY'S FAVORITE MOVIES WERE THE ONES

WHERE HE FELT HE PULLED OFF SOMETHING STYLISTIC,

WHERE WE PULLED OFF AN AMBITIOUS MAGIC TRICK.

"STARDUST MEMORIES," I THINK, IS A BIG MAGIC ACT.

YOU KNOW, QUITE APART FROM ITS INFLUENCE BY FELLINI,

IT'S ESSENTIALLY, HE'S JUST WORKING HIS MAGIC

AND IN A SENSE MAKING A STATEMENT ABOUT

BEING A MAGICIAN, SO TO SPEAK.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT,

THE AUDIENCE DIDN'T FEEL THAT THEY COULD RELATE TO IT

AS PERSONALLY AS THEY DID TO THE OTHER FILMS.

YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO TRY AND MAKE A FILM

ABOUT A MAN WHO HAD

PRESUMABLY TO THE OUTSIDE EYE, EVERYTHING.

HE HAD MONEY AND HE WAS FAMOUS,

AND YET, HE HAD COME TO A POINT IN LIFE WHERE

HE REALIZED STILL THAT HE WAS STILL GOING TO WIND UP

ON THE JUNK HEAP WITH EVERYBODY ELSE

AND HIM COMING TO TERMS WITH THAT IDEA

OVER THE COURSE OF THIS WEEKEND WHICH REALLY

HAPPENS IN HIS MIND FOR THE MOST PART.

A YEAR OR TWO BEFORE HE MADE IT, HE HAD GONE WITH JUDITH CRIST,

WHO WAS THE FILM CRITIC FOR NEW YORK MAGAZINE AT THE TIME,

TO A WEEKEND SEMINAR THAT SHE DID ON FILM

AT AN ESTATE TURNED INTO A HOTEL UP THE HUDSON

ABOUT AN HOUR FROM NEW YORK, AND HE CAME

AND HE WAS THE GUEST FOR THE WEEKEND THERE.

AND OUT OF THAT CAME THIS WHOLE NOTION

THAT HE DID OF THE GUY HAVING THE CRACK-UP.

WE LOVE YOUR WORK.

MY WIFE HAS SEEN ALL YOUR FILMS.

I ESPECIALLY LIKE YOUR EARLY, FUNNY ONES.

MANY PEOPLE SAW THAT FILM AS

ME ATTACKING MY FANS AND SAYING THE PEOPLE OUT THERE

THAT ARE ENJOYING MY FILMS ARE CLAWING AND PAWING

AND SILLY LOOKING, BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH THE FILM AT ALL.

Lax: THE FILM IS REALLY ABOUT PROBLEMS OF

AN ARTISTIC SENSIBILITY

AND HOW YOU'RE IN YOUR MIND OR OUT OF YOUR MIND.

WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO SAY IN THIS PICTURE?

Sandy: I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HAD YOU STUDIED FILM MAKING IN SCHOOL?

Sandy: NO, NO, NO.

I DIDN'T STUDY ANYTHING IN SCHOOL.

THEY STUDIED ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Kavner: I KEPT A FILE OF PHOTOGRAPHS

OF WOODY ALLEN FACES.

THERE WAS SOMETHING HUMOROUS ABOUT THEM THAT WAS DISTINCTIVE.

SO I WOULD HAVE DRAWERS OF PICTURES THAT I SAVED

SPECIFICALLY FOR WOODY.

WE REALLY, YOU KNOW,

LOOKED FOR VERY ECCENTRIC,

STRANGE, HUMOROUS PEOPLE.

THAT WAS PROBABLY OUR MOST AMBITIOUS

STYLE PIECE TO THAT DATE.

IT WAS A LITTLE MORE EXOTIC AND FLAMBOYANT

BECAUSE HE WAS

MORE IMPRESSED BY DIRECTORS WHOSE STYLE

WAS MORE VISUALLY STIMULATING AND INTERESTING,

YOU KNOW, BERGMAN AND FELLINI.

Willis: HE HAS GREAT ADMIRATION

FOR A LOT OF FOREIGN DIRECTORS AND A LOT OF FOREIGN MOVIES.

HE'S NEVER MADE A SECRET OUT OF THAT.

YOU GET BLAMED FOR

COPYING OTHER MATERIAL, OR, YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE DOING BERGMAN AND YOU'RE DOING FELLINI

AND YOU'RE DOING "8 1/2."

BUT WE NEVER DISCUSSED ANYTHING AT THAT LEVEL EVER,

ANYBODY ELSE'S MOVIES.

THERE'S NO QUESTION OF FELLINI'S INFLUENCE ON WOODY.

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

Feeney: CRITICS WERE OVEREDUCATED 'CAUSE

THEY'D ALL SEEN "8 1/2" AND THEY THOUGHT,

"OH, HE'S JUST REMAKING '8 1/2.'"

I THINK AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHO DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT "8 1/2" WERE JUST SORT OF PUT OFF

BY THE STRANGE BUSYNESS OF IT.

YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE POINT OF THE MOVIE

IS THAT NOBODY IS SAVED.

SANDY, THIS IS AN EASTER FILM.

WE DON'T NEED A MOVIE BY AN ATHEIST.

ONE MORE, SIR. TO YOU I'M AN ATHEIST.

TO GOD, I'M THE LOYAL OPPOSITION.

[Laughing] JESUS.

I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN. I THINK YOU'RE TERRIFIC.

THANK YOU.

HIS PUBLIC ADORES HIM.

YEAH. TODAY THEY ADORE YOU

AND TOMORROW IT'S ONE OF THESE.

Allen: "STARDUST MEMORIES" IS A COMPLETELY MADE-UP STORY,

AND I WAS SURPRISED THAT, YOU KNOW,

THAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK THAT THAT WAS ME.

THE PRESS HATED IT.

HE GOT TERRIBLE REVIEWS FOR IT.

THE TRUTH IS WOODY DIDN'T READ REVIEWS.

SO HE WASN'T TERRIBLY AFFECTED BY REVIEWS.

I READ ALL OF THEM.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU GUYS GOT TO TELL ME.

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HUMAN SUFFERING?

THIS IS UNANSWERABLE.

IS THERE A GOD?

THESE ARE THE WRONG QUESTIONS.

LOOK, HERE'S MY POINT.

IF NOTHING LASTS, WHY AM I BOTHERING

TO MAKE FILMS OR DO ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER?

WE ENJOY YOUR FILMS,

PARTICULARLY THE EARLY, FUNNY ONES.

THE PUBLIC WAS VERY, VERY GENEROUS WITH ME

AND THE CRITICS WERE VERY GENEROUS WHEN I STARTED.

THEY OVERLOOKED ALL MY MISTAKES,

THEY ONLY WROTE THE NICE THINGS,

AND NOW I THINK I'M AT THAT STAGE WHERE

I MUST PAY MY DUES AND BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

FOR THE MANY TERRIBLE THINGS THAT I DO.

AND I THINK THAT IN FUTURE YEARS,

I HAVE A CHANCE TO -- TO COME BACK AGAIN.

AFTER "STARDUST MEMORIES," I THINK MANY IN HIS AUDIENCE

WERE SAYING, YOU KNOW, "HAS HE PLAYED HIMSELF OUT?

WHAT CAN HAPPEN NOW?

IS THIS THE END OF HIM?"

WHEN ARGUABLY, HIS BEST WORK IS YET TO COME.

♪

Feeney: WE'RE SO USED TO CONCEIVING OF WOODY ALLEN

AS A NEW YORK FILMMAKER

THAT IT'S ACTUALLY COME AS QUITE A SHOCK

TO FIND HIM MAKING FILMS

IN ENGLAND OR IN SPAIN, BUT THE TRUTH IS

HE'S STILL THE SAME FILMMAKER.

I MEAN, HE WAS A METROPOLITAN FILMMAKER

AND HE'S BECOME

A COSMOPOLITAN FILMMAKER.

YOU KNOW, HE'S STILL WOODY ALLEN,

BUT HE'S JUST CHANGED -POLITANS.

Insdorf: THE INSPIRATION OF LONDON FOR "MATCH POINT,"

OF BARCELONA FOR "VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA,"

OF PARIS FOR "MIDNIGHT IN THE PARIS" --

AND HIS NEXT FILM WILL BE SET IN ROME --

I THINK THESE ARE PROVIDING A WONDERFUL WAY

FOR WOODY ALLEN TO RECHARGE HIS CINEMATIC BATTERIES.

FOR EXAMPLE, WE THINK WE'VE SEEN EVERYTHING OF PARIS ONSCREEN,

PROBABLY, BY NOW, AND MAYBE WE HAVE,

BUT, IN "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS," IT'S THE NOCTURNAL CITY

THAT OBVIOUSLY ANIMATES NOT ONLY THE CHARACTER GIL,

BUT WOODY ALLEN'S IMAGINATION.

IT'S THOSE WINDING DARK STREETS,

THIS GEOGRAPHICAL OR SPATIAL DISLOCATION

THAT CREATES THE TIME WARP IN "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS."

IN OTHER WORDS, IT COMES FROM THE PLACE

THAT, SUDDENLY, WE'RE TRANSPORTED TO THE 1920s.

OH, HI, MR. HEMINGWAY.

THE ASSIGNMENT WAS TO TAKE THE HILL.

THERE WERE FOUR OF US -- FIVE, IF YOU COUNTED VICENTE,

BUT HE HAD LOST HIS HAND WHEN A GRENADE WENT OFF

AND COULDN'T FIGHT AS HE COULD WHEN I FIRST MET HIM

AND HE WAS YOUNG AND BRAVE AND THE HILL WAS SOGGY

FROM DAYS OF RAIN AND IT SLOPED DOWN TOWARD A ROAD

AND THERE WERE MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS ON THE ROAD

AND THE IDEA WAS TO AIM FOR THE FIRST GROUP AND,

IF OUR AIM WAS TRUE, WE COULD DELAY THEM.

WERE YOU SCARED?

OF WHAT?

GETTING KILLED.

[ SCOFF ]

YOU'LL NEVER WRITE WELL IF YOU FEAR DYING.

DO YOU?

YEAH, I DO.

I'D SAY IT'S PROBABLY

MY GREATEST FEAR, ACTUALLY.

WELL, IT'S SOMETHING ALL MEN BEFORE YOU

HAVE DONE, ALL MEN WILL DO.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

HAVE YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO A TRULY GREAT WOMAN?

ACTUALLY, MY FIANCEE IS PRET-TY SEXY.

AND WHEN YOU MAKE LOVE TO HER,

YOU FEEL TRUE AND BEAUTIFUL PASSION

AND YOU, FOR AT LEAST THAT MOMENT,

LOSE YOUR FEAR OF DEATH.

NO, THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

Insdorf: THE VERY GEOGRAPHY OF THE WORLD

IS INSPIRING WOODY ALLEN IN THIS PHASE OF HIS CAREER,

MUCH LIKE NEW YORK CITY INSPIRED HIS FIRST 25, 30 YEARS.

HE SAID, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE GOOD THINGS

ABOUT LEAVING NEW YORK IS THAT HE SHOT

JUST ABOUT EVERY STREET CORNER THAT HE COULD.

Lax: HE CAME TO THE POINT WHERE, SUDDENLY,

IT BECAME MORE DIFFICULT TO MAKE FILMS IN NEW YORK

BECAUSE THEY'RE SO EXPENSIVE TO DO

AND HE WAS GETTING MONEY TO GO ABROAD TO DO IT.

BUT I THINK, IN THE END, THE FILMS ARE THE FILMS,

THE STORIES ARE THE STORIES.

SO, INSTEAD OF FROM LONG ISLAND, PEOPLE CAME FROM LONDON.

Aronson: I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT SIDNEY ZION DIED.

WHO? WHAT?

SIDNEY ZION.

OH, SIDNEY ZION DIED? OH!

AND GWATHMEY.

CHARLIE GWATHMEY DIED?

YES, HE HAD ESOPHAGEAL CANCER.

REALLY?

YES, SO THAT'S MY NEWS OF THE DAY.

OH, MY GOD.

REALLY?

ONE AFTER THE OTHER, THE DEATHS HAVE JUST BEEN

MOUNTING UP, IT'S AWFUL.

WELL, THERE WERE ALWAYS ALL THOSE DEATHS,

THESE JUST HAPPEN TO BE PEOPLE YOU KNOW.

IT'S NOT LIKE THERE WAS EVER A LULL

IN THE NUMBER OF DEATHS.

I KNOW THEM ALL.

[ "STOMPIN' AT THE SAVOY" PLAYS ]

Allen: I DON'T DO ANY PREPARATION.

I DON'T DO ANY REHEARSALS.

MOST OF THE TIMES, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO SHOOT.

WHEN I COME, THEY HAND ME THE COUPLE OF PAGES,

THE MATERIAL THAT WE'RE GOING TO DO FOR THE DAY,

AND I SEE WHAT IT IS THAT I'M IN FOR.

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I DON'T READ THE SCRIPT

AFTER I'M FINISHED WITH IT AND I REWRITE IT.

I DON'T READ IT AGAIN

BECAUSE IT GETS STALE TO ME AND I START TO HATE IT.

HE HAS A GREAT FEELING FOR STAGING.

YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHERE THE CAMERA SHOULD BE

IN ORDER TO TELL WHAT THE SCENE IS ABOUT

AND HE HAS A GREAT FEELING ABOUT WHERE THE CAMERA SHOULD BE

AND THEN WHAT PART OF THE SET

YOU WANT TO SEE.

HE DOESN'T LIKE TRICKS,

HE DOESN'T LIKE EFFECTS, HE DOESN'T USE GADGETS.

HE LIKES COLLABORATORS AROUND HIM.

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST ONE WORD,

ACTUALLY, I WOULD SAY, IT'S "SIMPLICITY."

HE IS A DIRECTOR WHO BELIEVES IN THE WRITTEN WORD.

IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. THIS IS NOT QUANTUM PHYSICS.

IF YOU'RE THE WRITER OF THE STORY,

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO SEE

BECAUSE YOU'VE WRITTEN IT.

IT'S JUST STORYTELLING AND YOU TELL IT.

THERE'S NO BIG DEAL TO IT.

[ "STOMPIN' AT THE SAVOY" PLAYS ]

Cavett: ONE NIGHT, WE WERE IN TRADER VIC'S AND WE

UNCHARACTERISTICALLY STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE.

HE USED THE PHRASE "I HAVE ENDLESS IDEAS FOR MOVIES"

AND I REMEMBER IT FELT LIKE THE EARTH MOVED.

I JUST THOUGHT, "IT WOULD TAKE ME A YEAR

"TO HAVE ONE IDEA ABOUT A MOVIE,

AND HE'S ABLE TO THINK OF MAKING ONE OR TWO OR THREE OR... MANY?"

I MIGHT EVEN HAVE THOUGHT, SOMEWHAT CONDESCENDINGLY,

"WELL, HE MAY FIND OUT THAT IT'S NOT ALL THAT EASY."

THIS IS

MY COLLECTION.

THIS IS HOW I'LL START

AND THERE'S ALL KINDS OF SCRAPS

AND THINGS THAT ARE WRITTEN ON HOTEL THINGS

AND I'LL, YOU KNOW, PONDER THESE THINGS.

I'LL PULL THESE OUT AND I'LL DUMP THEM HERE LIKE THIS.

I GO THROUGH THIS ALL THE TIME,

EVERY TIME I START A PROJECT,

AND I SIT HERE LIKE THIS AND I'LL LOOK AT --

OH, DON'T LIKE THAT.

RIGHT.

NO.

Man: READ ME ONE NOTE

OFF OF ONE PIECE OF PAPER.

A NOTE HERE WOULD BE

"A MAN INHERITS ALL THE MAGIC TRICKS

OF A GREAT MAGICIAN."

NOW, THAT'S ALL I HAVE THERE, BUT I COULD SEE, YOU KNOW,

A STORY FORMING WHERE SOME LITTLE JERK LIKE MYSELF,

AT AN AUCTION OR AT SOME OPPORTUNITY,

BUYS ALL THOSE ILLUSIONS AND, YOU KNOW,

BOXES AND GUILLOTINES AND THINGS,

AND LEADING ME TO SOME KIND OF INTERESTING ADVENTURE,

GOING INTO ONE OF THOSE BOXES AND MAYBE SUDDENLY SHOWING UP

IN A DIFFERENT TIMEFRAME OR IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY

OR IN A DIFFERENT PLACE ALTOGETHER

OR, YOU KNOW, SOME KIND OF THING.

AND, YOU KNOW, I'LL SPEND AN HOUR OF THINKING OF THAT

AND IT'LL GO NO PLACE AND THEN I'LL GO ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

IF HE HAS AN IDEA -- AND HE HAS A LOT OF IDEAS --

IF HE HAS AN IDEA AND HE STARTS TO WRITE IT

AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S GOING TO WORK OUT,

THE WRITING OF IT DOESN'T TAKE HIM VERY LONG.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY WRITE SO FAST

AND PERHAPS THAT EXPLAINS, TO A LARGE EXTENT,

WHY HE'S MADE SO MANY FILMS.

IF YOU WANT TO COMPARE WOODY ALLEN,

IN THE REALM OF PRODUCTIVITY,

YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO REACH BACK AN ERA.

YOU HAVE TO REACH BACK TO THE 1930s,

WHEN JOHN FORD AND HOWARD HAWKS AND RAOUL WALSH

AND GUYS LIKE THAT WERE MAKING MORE THAN ONE FILM A YEAR.

THEY WE'RE DOING IT UNDER THE STUDIO SYSTEM.

THEY WERE BASICALLY PART OF THE DREAM FACTORY.

NOW, WOODY ALLEN IS DOING A FILM A YEAR

AND WRITING A FILM A YEAR FOR 40 YEARS.

THAT'S UNHEARD OF.

THAT'S ALMOST WITHOUT PRECEDENT, EXCEPT FOR INGMAR BERGMAN.

WHO THE HELL IS GOOD FOR 20 YEARS?

THIS GUY'S BEEN GOOD FOR 40 YEARS.

WHO'S GOOD FOR 10 YEARS?

FIVE YEARS?

HE'S KIND OF PEERLESS.

THE CLOSEST FIGURE TO WOODY ALLEN WOULD BE BABE RUTH.

BABE RUTH LED THE AMERICAN LEAGUE

WITH 54 HOME RUNS ONE YEAR.

THE NEXT GUY HAD 13.

NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE STAYING POWER,

NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE TENACITY,

AND NOT EVERYBODY HAS SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT LIFE CONTINUALLY.

SO, FROM A PURELY ENDURANCE

POINT OF VIEW, LONGEVITY AND QUANTITY

IS AN ACHIEVEMENT, YES, BUT NOT THE VALUABLE ONE.

THE ACHIEVEMENT THAT I'M GOING FOR IS

TO TRY AND MAKE A GREAT FILM

AND THAT HAS ELUDED ME OVER THE DECADES.

Maltin: AFTER A PRETTY AMAZING 10-YEAR RUN

OF BUILDING GOODWILL WITH CRITICS AND AUDIENCES ALIKE

AND THEN EXPERIENCING THIS MISFIRE,

AS IT WAS SEEN IN MANY CIRCLES,

WITH "STARDUST MEMORIES" --

IT WAS CLEAR THAT HE WAS NOT GOING TO BE BOXED IN

TO ANY KIND OF CORNER OR PIGEONHOLE,

HE WAS GOING TO DO WHAT HE FELT LIKE DOING,

SO THE QUESTION REMAINED -- "WHAT'S NEXT?"

I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE TO MAKE FUNNY FILMS.

I MEAN, I WAS NOT TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM IT --

IN FACT, PROBABLY THE NEXT FILM I MAKE.

I HAVEN'T MADE A REALLY FUNNY FILM FOR A WHILE.

I WOULD LIKE TO TRY THAT AGAIN.

IF "STARDUST MEMORIES" WAS A MISSTEP, THEN

"A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SEX COMEDY" WAS A RETURN TO STRENGTH.

HE WAS ACTUALLY GOING BACK TO A KNOWN AREA,

WHICH WAS PURE COMEDY.

"A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SEX COMEDY" IS THE FIRST FARCE

HE'S DONE, REALLY, SINCE "LOVE AND DEATH."

[ CLATTER ]

IT WAS RELEASED AS A SUMMER MOVIE.

PEOPLE THOUGHT, "AH," YOU KNOW, "HERE COMES WOODY AGAIN."

AND I THINK THAT THE STUDIO BACKERS, YOU KNOW,

HAD TO BE HEAVING A SIGH OF RELIEF

THAT IT WAS IN COLOR AS WELL.

AND I THOUGHT I'D LIKE TO DO SOMETHING

IN THE COUNTRY, JUST FOR FUN,

JUST TO SEE THE COUNTRY AS A BEAUTIFUL THING,

THE WAY I SEE THE CITY, JUST FOR AMUSEMENT.

Willis: AND SOMEBODY

SAW THE MOVIE AND SAID, "IT WAS THE FIRST TIME

I'VE EVER COME OUT OF A MOVIE WHISTLING THE PHOTOGRAPHY,"

YOU KNOW, SO I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.

THE OTHER ASPECT OF "A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SEX COMEDY"

IS THAT IT INTRODUCES MIA FARROW TO HIS BODY OF WORK.

YES, WE'VE MET BEFORE.

ARIEL TOLD ME ABOUT YOU.

IT WAS SUCH A FUNNY COINCIDENCE

WHEN LEOPOLD SAID

THAT YOU WERE HIS COUSIN'S HUSBAND,

BECAUSE I TOLD HIM WE WERE OLD FRIENDS.

ACQUAINTANCES.

WE'RE LIKE --

Allen: MIA WROTE ME SOME FAN LETTERS OVER THE YEARS.

THEN, ONCE, I HAD A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY

AND I SAID, YOU KNOW, "WHY DON'T WE HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME?"

AND SHE SAID, "SURE."

BOY, IF I HAD ONLY ACTED THAT TIME, YOU KNOW,

WHEN WERE AT THE BROOK THAT NIGHT!

YEAH. IT JUST HAUNTS ME.

YEAH, ME TOO.

YOU KNOW, NOT A WEEK HAS GONE BY

THAT I HAVEN'T DREAMT ABOUT YOU.

WE MADE A DATE, WE HAD LUNCH, AND THEN WE STARTED GOING OUT.

[ SNEEZE ]

HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

Allen: EVENTUALLY, WE STARTED GOING OUT

IN A MORE SERIOUS WAY AND THEN,

I GOT TO KNOW HER AS AN ACTRESS.

WELL, YOU KNOW, FOR A WOMAN,

THE YEARS SLIP AWAY QUICKLY.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GETTING SCARED.

MAYBE.

BUT WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND CHARMING.

YOU COULD GET ANY MAN THAT YOU WANTED.

NOT YOU.

ME?

I THINK, AMONGST ALL THE LOVE AFFAIRS

I WAS RUNNING THROUGH IN THOSE DAYS,

YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON THAT COULD'VE STOPPED ME.

Allen: SHE WAS VERY NERVOUS

WHEN WE FIRST STARTED WORKING TOGETHER.

SHE NEEDN'T HAVE BEEN

AND IT WAS A PLEASURE TO WORK WITH HER.

SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, ALWAYS EASY TO WORK WITH.

IF YOU LUSTED AFTER ME SO,

WHY WEREN'T YOU ALSO IN LOVE WITH ME?

CAN THE TWO FEELINGS REALLY BE SEPARATE?

Feeney: MIA FARROW BECAME HIS MUSE

AND HE BEGAN TO SHOW US A RANGE IN MIA FARROW

THAT HAD BEEN DENIED US BY, SAY,

"ROSEMARY'S BABY" OR "HURRICANE," YOU KNOW,

JUST SIDES OF HER WE WERE NOT BE ABLE TO SEE,

AND WOODY ALLEN WAS ABLE TO BRING HER OUT

IN ALL HER RAINBOW OF COLORS.

AND THROUGH HER, HE EXPLORED

A NUMBER OF WONDERFUL MODES OF FILMMAKING.

AND, IN A WAY, BY SO DOING, HE'S ALSO TESTING HIS OWN RANGE,

HE'S FULFILLING EVERY KEY ON THE PIANOBOARD THAT HE'S GOT.

HE JUST RUNS THE SCALES

IN HIS OWN TALENT THROUGH THE '80s

WITH MIA FARROW AS HIS PARTNER.

SHE WAS AN EXCELLENT ACTRESS WITH A VERY BIG RANGE.

YOU KNOW, SHE COULD PLAY COMEDY AND BROAD COMEDY,

SHE COULD PLAY SERIOUS THINGS, AND I FELT

NO ONE HAD REALLY EXPLOITED HER MUCH

ON THE SCREEN AND SO I WROTE ROLES FOR HER

AND SHE NEVER DISAPPOINTED, SHE ALWAYS CAME THOUGH

AND DID A TERRIFIC JOB FOR ME.

THAT'S WHAT "MUSE" IS, YOU KNOW,

THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND THE PERSON,

THEN YOU CAN BRING OUT THESE DIFFERENT QUALITIES IN THEM,

YOU KNOW, AND HE DID IT WITH MIA FOR YEARS.

LIKE, WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT THAT MIA COULD BE

THIS ACTRESS IN SOME OF THESE FILMS?

"BROADWAY DANNY ROSE" -- I MEAN,

WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT SHE COULD'VE PLAYED

THESE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS WITH THOSE ACCENTS?

I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T THINK OF MIA

AS THAT KIND OF ACTRESS, BUT HE KNEW HER.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER FEEL GUILTY.

I JUST THINK YOU GOT TO DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.

YOU KNOW? LIFE'S SHORT.

YOU DON'T GET ANY MEDALS FOR BEING A BOY SCOUT.

Allen: WE ALWAYS ATE UP AT RAO'S,

AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT UPTOWN, AND MRS. RAO, ANNIE RAO,

WOULD, YOU KNOW, COME AND SIT AT THE TABLE WITH US AND CHAT.

SHE ALWAYS HAD THE HIGH BLONDE HAIR AND SMOKED A CIGARETTE

AND WORE THE SUNGLASSES

AND SHE WAS A GREAT CHARACTER, A WONDERFUL WOMAN.

AND MIA SAID TO ME,

"BOY, I'D LOVE TO PLAY A WOMAN LIKE THAT SOMETIME.

IT'D BE GREAT."

AND THEN, WHEN I WAS GOING TO DO "BROADWAY DANNY ROSE,"

IT WAS PERFECT.

JOHNNY'S ALL RIGHT -- HE WAS REALLY NICE TO ME

WHEN MY MARRIAGE FELL APART.

YES? AND WHAT DID YOUR HUSBAND DO?

UM, A LITTLE BOOKMAKING,

SOME LOAN SHARKING, EXTORTION, LIKE THAT.

SO HE'S A PROFESSIONAL MAN.

WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU DIVORCED HIM

OR YOU GOT A SEPARATION, OR WHAT?

UNH-UNH, SOME GUY SHOT HIM IN THE EYES.

REALLY, HE'S BLIND? DEAD.

HE'S DEAD, OF COURSE,

BECAUSE THE BULLETS GO RIGHT THROUGH.

Maltin: BY THIS TIME, IF YOU WERE FOLLOWING WOODY,

YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO COME NEXT,

WHAT TONE IT WOULD TAKE, WHAT SHAPE IT WOULD TAKE.

AND WHO WOULD THINK THAT THE SAME MAN

WHO MADE "BROADWAY DANNY ROSE" WOULD ALSO GIVE US "ZELIG"?

THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE PRIVATE PERSON TO CELEBRITY

IS THE THEME THAT HE INAUGURATES IN "STARDUST MEMORIES,"

BUT WHICH HE CONTINUES IN "ZELIG."

Narrator: LEONARD ZELIG

CONTINUES TO ASTOUND SCIENTISTS

AT NEW YORK'S MANHATTAN HOSPITAL,

WHERE NUMEROUS TESTS HAVE LED NOWHERE

IN DETERMINING THE NATURE

OF THIS ASTONISHING MANIFESTATION.

AND IT'S DONE IN MORE RADICAL COMEDIC TERMS.

THERE'S A STYLISTIC THING -- HE DISCOVERED

THIS OPTICAL PROCESS WHERE HE COULD BLEED HIMSELF INTO

ALL THESE ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF WOODROW WILSON AND WHOMEVER.

I WANTED TO DO IT LIKE A REAL,

ACTUAL DOCUMENTARY, WHERE YOU JUST ABOUT

COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

HIS TRANSFORMATION INTO A RABBI

IS SO REALISTIC THAT CERTAIN FRENCHMEN SUGGEST

HE BE SENT TO DEVIL'S ISLAND.

AND I THOUGHT THE THEME OF THE CHARACTER

WHO WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO BE

WHO HE WAS AROUND

WAS A UNIVERSAL PSYCHOLOGICAL THEME.

AS THE MEN DISCUSS THEIR OBESITY,

AN INITIALLY RETICENT ZELIG JOINS IN,

SWELLING HIMSELF TO A MIRACULOUS 250 POUNDS.

NEXT, IN THE PRESENCE OF TWO NEGRO MEN,

ZELIG RAPIDLY BECOMES ONE HIMSELF.

WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

AND I FELT THAT THAT, ULTIMATELY,

WOULD LEAD TO FASCISM BECAUSE

YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE SAYING WHAT THE CROWD WANTED TO HEAR

AND GIVING UP YOUR OWN BELIEFS AND PERSONALITY.

Maltin: THERE IS LEONARD ZELIG, SITTING NEXT TO ADOLF HITLER,

AND THE MIA FARROW CHARACTER SEES HIM BLENDING IN, AS USUAL,

AND YET, IT'S HIM NOTICING HER WAVING AT HIM

THAT SNAPS HIM OUT OF THAT.

SO, ULTIMATELY, IT'S LOVE THAT BRINGS HIM BACK TO EARTH.

Lauder: I LIKE "PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO" VERY MUCH.

THE MIA FARROW CHARACTER HAS A TERRIBLE EXISTENCE.

HER HUSBAND, DANNY AIELLO, IS AN ABUSER.

THE ONLY RELIEF SHE GETS IS MOVIES,

SO SHE GOES TO SEE THE SAME MOVIE

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

SHE CAN'T FIND ANY MEANING IN HER DAY-TO-DAY EXISTENCE,

BUT THE ESCAPISM THAT MOVIES PROVIDE IS THE ONLY MEANING,

OKAY, THAT'S IT, BUT AT LEAST SHE HAS THIS.

THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT ENCOURAGES HER TO HOPE.

THINGS ARE BAD, BUT IT'S GOING TO TURN OUT OKAY.

I THINK THAT'S SUCH A CLEVER FILM.

I INTENDED IT, YOU KNOW,

ON A MUCH MORE PRETENTIOUS, DEEP LEVEL, YOU KNOW,

THAT PEOPLE ARE FACED, IN LIFE,

WITH CHOOSING BETWEEN REALITY AND FANTASY

AND IT'S VERY PLEASANT TO CHOOSE FANTASY,

BUT THAT WAY LIES MADNESS

AND YOU'RE FORCED, FINALLY, TO CHOOSE REALITY

AND REALITY ALWAYS DISAPPOINTS, ALWAYS HURTS YOU.

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS WHAT MADE ME DO THE FILM AND, OF COURSE,

THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE COMES OFF THE SCREEN,

THAT WAS THE GIMMICK.

YOU KNOW, I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT,

24 HOURS AGO, I WAS IN AN EGYPTIAN TOMB.

I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE,

AND HERE I AM NOW, I'M ON THE VERGE OF

A MADCAP MANHATTAN WEEKEND.

MY GOD, YOU MUST REALLY LOVE THIS PICTURE.

ME?

YOU'VE BEEN HERE ALL DAY AND I'VE SEEN YOU HERE TWICE BEFORE.

YOU MEAN ME?

YES, YOU, YOU!

THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME YOU'RE SEEING THIS.

Henry, come here, quickly.

I GOT TO SPEAK TO YOU.

[ Woman gasps ] Man: OH, MY GOD!

AAH!

LISTEN, OLD SPORT, YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE.

Rita: TOM, GET BACK HERE!

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORY!

LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M GOING TO HAVE A LOOK AROUND.

YOU GO ON WITHOUT ME. WHO ARE YOU?

C-CECILIA.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND GO SOMEWHERE WE CAN TALK.

BUT YOU'RE IN THE MOVIE.

WRONG, CECILIA, I'M FREE!

AFTER 2,000 PERFORMANCES

AND THE SAME MONOTONOUS ROUTINE, I'M FREE!

Henry: CALL FATHER DONNELLY!

TOM!

OH, BOY!

SO THAT'S WHAT POPCORN TASTE LIKE.

BEEN WATCHING PEOPLE EAT IT

FOR ALL THOSE PERFORMANCES.

Lax: THE ROLE OF THE HANDSOME YOUNG GUY IN THE PIECE

WAS PLAYED BY JEFF DANIELS,

WHO WAS REALLY QUITE WONDERFUL IN IT.

WOODY'S NOT AFRAID TO CHANGE CAST MEMBERS

AS HE GOES ALONG, IF SOMETHING DOESN'T WORK OUT,

AND THE BEST EXAMPLE OF THIS IS

MICHAEL KEATON IN "PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO."

Taylor: HE GREATLY ADMIRED MICHAEL KEATON AND STILL DOES,

BUT NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO MEET HIM AND THEN,

ONCE HE WAS THERE, JUST FELT HE WAS SO CONTEMPORARY

FOR A MOVIE THAT TOOK PLACE IN THE 1930s,

THAT IT JUST DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT.

AND THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER INSTANCES WHERE,

FOR WHATEVER REASON, AN ACTOR HASN'T WORKED OUT.

I WOULD SAY THAT THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN,

BUT, WHEN IT DOES,

HE'S NOT AT ALL AVERSE TO SAYING,

"WE JUST NEED TO START THIS OVER."

HE SHOT "SEPTEMBER" TWICE,

WITH DIFFERENT CASTS, AND THAT,

I THINK HE WOULD SAY, WAS A WRITING PROBLEM,

HE JUST FELT HE DIDN'T NAIL IT.

Lax: SO HE COMPLETELY RECAST THE MOVIE, FOR THE MOST PART,

AND MOVED PEOPLE AROUND, AS IF IT WERE A REPERTORY COMPANY.

CASTING WAS JUST

A PROCESS THAT HE HAD VERY LITTLE PATIENCE FOR.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST STARTED, I NEVER EVEN MET THE ACTORS.

I HAD MY ASSISTANT DIRECTOR MEET THEM AND I WOULD SIT BACK

IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM SOMEWHERE AND LOOK.

AND ONLY OVER THE YEARS DID I GRADUALLY START

TO SPEAK TO THE ACTORS, AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO THEM.

WE USED TO HAVE THREE PEOPLE, EVERY FIVE MINUTES,

IN TO MEET HIM BECAUSE

HE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE MUCH CONVERSATION.

THAT WAS VERY PAINFUL FOR HIM, VERY HARD FOR HIM.

FOR THE SMALLER ROLES,

THE MEETINGS WERE VERY, VERY QUICK.

I ALWAYS FELT BAD FOR THESE ACTORS

THAT WOULD COME IN TO THE OFFICE,

THEY WERE BEING SENT UP FOR A ROLE.

THEY'D RING THE BELL, I'D LET THEM IN,

THEY'D WAIT FOR A SECOND, AND WE'D GO IN

AND I'D INTRODUCE THEM -- "THIS IS SO AND SO."

AND THEY WOULD COME MARCHING INTO THE OFFICE, LIKE,

EXPECTING, YOU KNOW, A HALF-HOUR WITH MR. ALLEN.

AND WOODY WOULD STAND UP AND REMAIN STANDING AND SAY,

"OH, HI," YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A LOOK AT YOU

"AND JULIET THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR SOMETHING

AND, OKAY, SO THAT'S IT."

THE WHOLE THING IS AWKWARD. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. THEY'RE BEING LOOKED AT.

THEY FEEL FAT, YOU KNOW. [Laughs] IT'S TERRIBLE.

AND HE WOULD SORT OF, LIKE, SHAKE THEIR HANDS AND SAY,

"THANK YOU FOR COMING"

AND THEY'D BE READY TO SIT DOWN AND THAT WAS IT.

SO I'D WALK OUT AND THEY WOULD ALWAYS LOOK AT ME

AT THE END LIKE, "ARE YOU KIDDING? IS THAT IT?"

AND I'D SAY, "THAT'S IT."

YOU KNOW, 10 SECONDS, SOMETIMES.

AND, OF COURSE, WOODY FEELS "BUT I'M DOING THEM A FAVOR.

"THEY CAN GO ON WITH THEIR DAY. THEY'VE OTHER THINGS TO DO.

THEY DON'T WANT TO HANG AROUND HERE."

AND I KEEP SAYING, "OH, YES, THEY DO,

THEY'D LOVE NOTHING MORE."

SOMETIMES, FOR THE BIGGER ACTORS,

THEY WERE JUST FLAT-OUT OFFERED A ROLE.

Banderas: HIS PRODUCTION OFFICE CONNECTED

WITH MY PEOPLE IN LOS ANGELES

AND THEY JUST OFFERED ME THE PART.

I GOT A CALL FROM MY AGENT, ASKING ME IF I WAS AVAILABLE

FOR A WOODY ALLEN MOVIE AND I SAID,

"YEAH. YEAH, I'M AVAILABLE."

WE HAVE THIS VERY ELABORATE DROPOFF SYSTEM.

THE MATERIAL DOES NOT GO THROUGH THE AGENTS.

THE MATERIAL GOES RIGHT, DIRECTLY, TO THE ACTOR.

OF COURSE, IT WAS VERY SECRETIVE

AND SO THE SCRIPT WAS BROUGHT OVER.

SOMEONE WHO FLEW FROM NEW YORK WITH IT

AND THEN DROVE TO MY HOUSE IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA.

THEN HE TOLD ME, "YOU'RE GOING TO GET A SCRIPT.

"IT'S GOING TO BE HAND-DELIVERED.

"YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT AT 10:30

AND YOU HAVE TO RETURN IT BY 4:30."

AHEM. I GO, "ALL RIGHT."

SOMEONE LITERALLY SITS ON THE STOOP OF THEIR BUILDING,

WAITING 'TIL THEY FINISH IT,

OR, OCCASIONALLY, LETS THEM KEEP IT OVERNIGHT.

ALL I REMEMBER IS THAT THE SCRIPT ARRIVED

AND IT CAME HAND-DELIVERED AND I HAD TO HAND IT BACK

AND IT WAS ALL A VERY SECRET PROCESS.

HE ALWAYS INCLUDES A HANDWRITTEN NOTE

WITH THE SCRIPT TO THE ACTOR.

THE NEXT DAY, I WAS IN THE OFFICE,

THE SCRIPT WAS DELIVERED, AND THERE'S A COVER LETTER.

AND THERE WAS A LETTER FROM WOODY.

HE SENT ME AN E-MAIL.

I GOT A LETTER. A NOTE, FROM HIM.

IT'S OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON A TYPEWRITER.

HANDWRITTEN.

WITH THE ODD MISTAKE, YOU KNOW, Xed OUT.

I ACTUALLY PRINTED IT OUT AND I PUT IT ON MY WALL.

I WILL FRAME THAT LETTER.

I PROBABLY HAVE THE LETTER IN A DRAWER.

AND IT SAID THAT "YOU MAY REMEMBER ME.

YOU DID A MOVIE CALLED 'MELINDA AND MELINDA.'

I WAS THE DIRECTOR." [Laughs]

"I PLAN ON SHOOTING THIS FILM 'MATCH POINT'

IN LONDON THIS SUMMER."

"I HAVE THIS MOVIE THAT I WROTE."

"I THINK YOU'D BE

REALLY GOOD FOR THE PART OF BORIS."

"I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO PLAY

THE PART OF NOLA RICE."

"I'D BE INTERESTED IN YOU DOING IT.

"YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT. YOU MAY LIKE IT.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, IT'S FINE."

"I HOPE I CAN GET TO WORK WITH YOU

IN THIS LIFETIME."

"IF YOU FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING THERE

THAT YOU WANT TO DO, THAT WOULD BE GREAT."

"FEEL FREE TO MODIFY SOME

OF THE LINES, IF YOU FEEL LIKE."

"IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE LINES, THAT'S FINE WITH ME."

"PLEASE READ IT AND I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETHING

TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS PART."

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE I MADE THAT PART UP.

AS A FAN OF HIS MOVIES, EVERY TIME I GO,

I SEE THAT THE CAST ALWAYS WORKS.

IT'S LIKE EVERYBODY'S PERFECT FOR EACH CHARACTER

AND HE CAN MAKE THOSE DECISIONS IN FIVE SECONDS.

JUST SAYING, "HI, NICE TO MEET YOU" TO SOMEBODY,

HE KNOWS IF THAT PERSON IS RIGHT FOR THAT CHARACTER.

WELL, THAT'S THE WHOLE SECRET, IS IF YOU HIRE GREAT PEOPLE

AND YOU DON'T MESS THEM UP WITH A LOT OF ANALYSIS

AND CONVERSATION AND SPECULATION AND NONSENSE,

IF YOU JUST GET OUT OF THEIR WAY AND SHUT UP,

THEY GIVE YOU THE PERFORMANCE THAT HAS MADE THEM

THE GREAT PERFORMER THAT THEY ARE.

ARE YOU ANGRY WITH ME?

NO.

DO YOU FEEL, UM --

ARE YOU DISENCHANTED WITH OUR MARRIAGE?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS, THE GESTAPO?

NO.

WELL, WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?

WHAT KIND OF INTERROGATION --

SUPPOSING I SAID, "YES, I AM DISENCHANTED,

I AM IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE"?

ARE YOU?

NO!

Allen: I USED TO ALWAYS WRITE

FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE MALE

AND ALWAYS A PARTICULAR PERSPECTIVE,

THE COMIC MALE, THE WISECRACKING COMIC MALE,

AND THEN I MET DIANE KEATON,

I GOT A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE,

I SAW A LOT OF THINGS THROUGH HER EYES

AND I STARTED WRITING FOR WOMEN.

AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I GAINED WAS

A FEMALE'S PERSPECTIVE

AND IT WAS, EVENTUALLY,

MORE INTERESTING TO ME

THAN THE MALE PERSPECTIVE

AND I ATTRIBUTE THAT TO MY EXPERIENCE WITH HER.

Hannah: HOLLY -- I JUST WANT A SALAD.

YOU REALLY THINK I'M A LOSER, DON'T YOU?

WHAT DO -- YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

Lee: YOU ARE, HOLLY. STOP IT.

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A LOSER.

HOW?

YOU NEVER HAVE ANY FAITH IN MY PLANS,

YOU ALWAYS UNDERCUT MY ENTHUSIASM.

NOT SO, NO,

I THINK I'VE BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE.

I TRY TO GIVE YOU HONEST, CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE,

I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO HELP YOU FINANCIALLY,

I THINK I'VE GONE OUT OF MY WAY

TO INTRODUCE YOU TO INTERESTING SINGLE MEN.

Holly: LOSERS! ALL LOSERS.

YOU'RE TOO DEMANDING!

YOU KNOW, I COULD ALWAYS TELL WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF ME

BY THE TYPE OF MEN YOU FIXED ME UP WITH.

YOU'RE CRAZY! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

HEY, HANNAH, I KNOW I'M MEDIOCRE.

[Crying] OH, WILL YOU STOP ATTACKING HANNAH?

SHE'S GOING THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW.

WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN PICKING ON HER

EVER SINCE SHE CAME IN HERE.

NOW JUST LEAVE HER ALONE FOR A WHILE.

I'M JUST SUFFOCATING.

Feeney: I THINK "HANNAH AND HER SISTERS"

IS THE MOVIE THAT PEOPLE EXPECTED AFTER "MANHATTAN"

AND WHEN HE SATISFIED THAT, HE WAS BACK

TO EVEN DEEPER STRENGTH THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE.

NOW, HE'S IN THE BERGMAN ZONE, QUITE LITERALLY.

HE'S GOT MAX von SYDOW IN THERE, BUT IN A VERY RELAXED WAY.

THERE'S NOTHING IMITATIVE OF BERGMAN.

THEY'RE SIMPLY, YOU KNOW,

DRINKING FROM BERGMAN'S CUP AT BERGMAN'S DINNER TABLE, BUT,

AT THE SAME TIME, BRINGING WOODY ALLEN'S

SENSIBILITY TO THE PROCEEDINGS.

BUT THE WORST ARE

THE FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHERS,

THIRD-RATE CON MEN,

TELLING THE POOR SUCKERS THAT WATCH THEM

THAT THEY SPEAK FOR JESUS

AND TO PLEASE SEND IN MONEY.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

IF JESUS CAME BACK AND SAW

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HIS NAME,

HE'D NEVER STOP THROWING UP.

Greenhut: MY FAVORITE IS "HANNAH AND HER SISTERS."

IT HAD ONE COMPONENT WHICH I LOVE,

WHICH WOODY LOATHES, MUCH OF THE TIME,

WHICH IS SOME SENTIMENT.

Allen: IT'S ONLY OPTIMISTIC IN THE SECTIONS THAT I FAILED.

I MEAN, I WANTED IT TO BE A MELANCHOLY FILM,

FOR THE MOST PART, BUT, FOR SOME REASON --

INCOMPETENCE IN THE DIRECTING OR THE WRITING OR SOMETHING --

THE EMPHASIS SHIFTED SO THAT IT WAS PERCEIVED BY AUDIENCES

AS MORE UP AND OPTIMISTIC THAN I HAD INTENDED.

EARLY ON IN THE FILM, THERE'S SOME SUSPICION

HE HAS A BRAIN TUMOR.

[ Thinking ] IT'S OVER.

I'M FACE-TO-FACE WITH ETERNITY.

NOT LATER, BUT NOW.

I'M SO FRIGHTENED,

I CAN'T MOVE OR SPEAK OR BREATHE.

WELL, YOU'RE JUST FINE.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HERE AT ALL.

AND, FINALLY, HE FINDS OUT HE'S OKAY

AND HE COMES OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

AND HE'S JUMPING THROUGH THE STREET

AND THEN HE STOPS AND HE REALIZES THAT, YOU KNOW,

"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE FROM THIS BRAIN TUMOR NOW,

BUT I'M GOING TO DIE SOMEDAY"

AND THEN, HE GOES BACK INTO A BLUE FUNK.

AND THEN HE BEGINS TO LOOK AROUND AT DIFFERENT RELIGIONS

AND HE'S THINKING OF BECOMING A CATHOLIC,

SO HE GOES TO SEE A PRIEST, THE PRIEST GIVES HIM SOME BOOKS.

AND THEN WE GET A SCENE, HE'S AT A HIGH MASS.

HE'S WAY IN THE BACK, HE'S THE OUTSIDER LOOKING IN,

THE NONBELIEVER LOOKING IN.

THE CHARACTER WANTS TO BELIEVE, BUT HE JUST CAN'T.

MOM, COME OUT!

OF COURSE THERE'S A GOD, YOU IDIOT.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD?

BUT IF THERE'S A GOD,

THEN WHY IS THERE SO MUCH EVIL IN THE WORLD?

JUST ON A SIMPLISTIC LEVEL. WHY WERE THERE NAZIS?

TELL HIM, MAX.

HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW WHY THERE WERE NAZIS?

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE CAN OPENER WORKS.

I DO THINK IT'S ON HIS MIND.

I DO THINK THAT HE THINKS ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

I THINK THAT, WHEN YOU'RE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE,

WHICH IS WHAT HE IS,

YOU'RE VERY IN TUNE WITH WHAT LIFE IS

AND IT HAS TO END AND IT CAN BE VERY CRUEL.

AND I THINK THAT THESE ARE THE ISSUES THAT HAUNT HIM.

I DO BELIEVE THAT'S THE REASON WHY IT'S A THEME IN HIS MOVIES,

IS BECAUSE HE DOES THINK ABOUT IT A LOT.

WOODY HAD SAID, YOU KNOW, MAKING A FILM PREOCCUPIES HIM

AND SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY

THINKING ABOUT THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE,

BUT HE SPENDS THE DAY MAKING A FILM

ABOUT THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE.

SO IT DOESN'T DISTRACT HIM, IN THE USUAL SENSE,

I MEAN, HE'S NOT OUT, PLAYING GOLF OR PLAYING TENNIS,

HE'S WORKING THESE THEMES INTO HIS FILMS.

THIS WOMAN'S GOING TO DESTROY

EVERYTHING I'VE BUILT.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, JUDAH.

IF THE WOMAN WON'T LISTEN TO REASON,

THEN YOU GO ON TO THE NEXT STEP.

WHAT, THREATS, VIOLENCE?

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT, HERE?

SHE CAN BE GOTTEN RID OF.

I MEAN, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE.

MONEY'LL BUY WHATEVER'S NECESSARY.

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO COMMENT ON THAT.

THAT'S MINDBOGGLING.

JUDAH ROSENTHAL, THE CHARACTER I PLAYED

IN "CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS," IS A PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY,

HE'S GOT A FAMILY, HE'S RESPECTED,

BUT HE HAS AN AFFAIR

WITH THIS STEWARDESS

PLAYED BY ANJELICA HUSTON

AND SHE BECOMES A LOOSE CANNON IN HIS LIFE.

YOU TOLD ME, OVER AND OVER AGAIN,

YOU'D LEAVE MIRIAM! WE MADE PLANS!

I DIDN'T! YOU DID!

I GAVE UP THINGS FOR YOU, BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES!

OH, PIPE DREAMS!

HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT

AND HE CALLS HIS BROTHER,

WHO'S A LITTLE ON THE SHADY SIDE,

AND HE RESOLVES IT

IN A WAY THAT IS HORRENDOUS, REALLY.

WHEN I SEE HER,

I'M OVERWHELMED BY IT.

HE HAS A GREAT DEAL OF DIFFICULTY LIVING WITH IT

AND FLASHES BACK ON A SEDER,

PASSOVER DINNER, THAT HE REMEMBERED,

WHERE A LOT OF RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY IS DISCUSSED.

Man: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, MAY,

THERE'S NO MORALITY,

ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

LISTEN, FOR THOSE WHO WANT MORALITY, THERE'S MORALITY.

NOTHING'S HANDED DOWN IN STONE.

SOL'S KIND OF FAITH IS A GIFT.

IT'S LIKE AN EAR FOR MUSIC OR THE TALENT TO DRAW.

HE BELIEVES AND YOU CAN USE LOGIC

ON HIM ALL DAY LONG AND HE STILL BELIEVES.

MUST EVERYTHING BE LOGICAL?

AND IF A MAN COMMITS A CRIME, IF HE --

IF HE KILLS?

THEN, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, HE WILL BE PUNISHED.

IF HE'S CAUGHT, SOL.

NO, NO, NO! WHETHER IT'S THE OLD TESTAMENT

OR SHAKESPEARE, MURDER WILL OUT.

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MURDER?

YOU DID.

DID I?

WOODY WALKS A REAL TIGHTROPE IN "CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS,"

BECAUSE HE'S TELLING, ESSENTIALLY,

A VERY SERIOUS STORY,

YET HE KNOWS TO COUNTERBALANCE IT WITH A LIGHTER STORY,

INVOLVING HIM AND MIA FARROW AND ALAN ALDA.

AND IT'S THAT VERY DEFT COMBINATION

THAT MAKES THE MOVIE WORK.

IT'S AMAZING -- I COULDN'T GRADUATE

AND THE SAME SCHOOL NOW TEACHES A COURSE

IN EXISTENTIAL MOTIFS IN MY SITUATION COMEDIES.

Halley: REALLY?

YEAH.

I COULD'VE DONE THE WHOLE PICTURE

JUST AS THE MURDER STORY

AND VERY OFTEN REGRETTED THAT I DIDN'T

BECAUSE I FOUND MARTY LANDAU'S STORY SO COMPELLING

AND SO INTERESTING AND MINE SO UNINTERESTING.

AND THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT,

IF MY CHARACTER MADE THE FILM ABOUT ALAN ALDA,

IT TIED THE WHOLE THING UP BECAUSE IT WAS A FUNNY IDEA,

THAT I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THIS AGGRANDIZING DOCUMENTARY

ABOUT THIS GUY THAT I COULDN'T STAND.

THE THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT COMEDY IS

IF IT BENDS, IT'S FUNNY;

IF IT BREAKS, IT'S NOT FUNNY.

SO YOU GOT TO GET BACK FROM THE PAIN, YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

ISSUES OF WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT AND WHY WE'RE HERE

AND WHY IT'S SO PAINFUL

AND RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THE HUMAN BEING

AND HIS EXISTENCE AND HUMAN LONELINESS,

THAT NEVER GETS RESOLVED

AND SO IT'S OF CONSTANT INTEREST TO ME.

HI, CLIFF. CLIFF! HELLO.

Allen: AND I CAN SEE, IF I LOOK BACK ON MY WORK,

I SEE SOME OF THOSE THEMES CREEP IN ALL THE TIME.

I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS LETTER BACK.

IT'S MY ONE LOVE LETTER.

I'M CURSED WITH THE CLOWN'S APPROACH TO IT

AND I ALWAYS HAVE TO APPROACH IT IN A COMIC WAY.

I PLAGIARIZED MOST OF IT FROM JAMES JOYCE.

YOU PROBABLY WONDERED

WHY ALL THE REFERENCES TO DUBLIN.

I WISH I HAD BEEN BORN

A GIFTED AND GREAT TRAGEDIAN, BUT I WASN'T.

WHAT ARE YOUR VIEWS ON DIVINE MATTERS?

EXCUSE ME, ME?

I'M ASKING YOU IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD.

IT'S INCREDIBLE, THAT'S THE THIRD TIME TONIGHT

SOMEBODY ASKED ME THAT EXACT SAME QUESTION.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE TO,

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW I WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER.

YEAH, BUT YOU CAN'T.

I CAN'T, NO, IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW --

YOU DOUBT HIS EXISTENCE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE

THE LEAP OF FAITH NECESSARY.

LISTEN, I CAN'T MAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH NECESSARY

TO BELIEVE IN MY OWN EXISTENCE.

Woman: HERE'S YOUR DRINK, KLEINMAN.

THAT'S FINE, THAT'S TRICKY.

YOU KEEP MAKING JOKES UNTIL THE MOMENT COMES

AND YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO FACE DEATH.

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON SUCH A MORBID SUBJECT?

I JUST, YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE FUTURE.

Woman: IF I THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS NOTHING

EXCEPT THIS, I'D KILL MYSELF.

I'VE THOUGHT OF IT.

BELIEVE ME, THERE HAVE BEEN MANY TIMES

WHEN MY BRAIN HAS SAID "WHY NOT?"

I MEAN, THERE'S NO POINT TO ANYTHING.

BUT, SOMEHOW, MY BLOOD ALWAYS SAID "LIVE, LIVE,"

AND I ALWAYS LISTEN TO MY BLOOD.

Cusack: WOODY ALLEN,

HE'S ALWAYS SWIMMING AROUND THE SAME PHILOSOPHICAL ISSUES.

THERE'S STILL THAT THING YOU CAN DO WITH HIS FILMS

WHERE THEY'LL GET YOU THINKING AND TALKING

OR THEY'LL SPUR SOMETHING IN YOU THAT,

YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD MEDICINE.

I THINK THAT WOODY ALLEN ASKS THESE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS,

"IS THERE A GOD? ISN'T THERE A GOD?

IS THERE LIFE BEYOND THE GRAVE?"

MAKES HIM UNIQUE AMONG CONTEMPORARY FILMMAKERS,

BUT ALSO MAKES HIM UNIQUE

IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN CINEMA.

THESE ARE THE TWO KEY QUESTIONS

AND HE JUST KEEPS HAMMERING AWAY AT THEM.

YOU KNOW WHO HAS THESE THOUGHTS ALL THE TIME?

IS SCHULTZ THE TAILOR.

HE THINKS THAT NOTHING IS REAL AT ALL

AND THAT EVERYTHING EXISTS ONLY

IN THE DREAM OF A DOG.

BUT THIS IS REAL, ISN'T IT?

AND BEAUTIFUL.

Lax: SO WOODY AND MIA HAD THIS KIND OF IDYLLIC LIFE --

CERTAINLY, IN THE PUBLIC MIND.

HERE WERE TWO ACCOMPLISHED ARTISTS,

THEY HAD THIS STRANGE RELATIONSHIP

WHERE HE LIVED IN HIS PLACE, SHE LIVED IN HER PLACE,

BUT SHE WAS IN ALL HIS MOVIES AND HE WAS THERE EVERY DAY

AND THEN THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER AND THEN THEY HAD A SON

AND IT SEEMED KIND OF THE PERFECT THING.

YOU KNOW, THEY'D TALK ABOUT HOW THEY COULD EACH GO

OUT THEIR WINDOWS OR THEIR BALCONIES

AND WAVE AT EACH OTHER ACROSS THE PARK

AND THIS CAME TO A CRASHING END

DURING THE FILMING OF "HUSBANDS AND WIVES."

THINGS FELL APART AT THE VERY END OF THE SHOOTING.

REALLY, THERE MAY HAVE BEEN TWO OR THREE DAYS LEFT OF SHOOTING.

SHE MUST HAVE CALLED HIM

AND I REMEMBER HIM ANSWERING THE PHONE

BECAUSE WE WERE, LIKE, WAITING FOR HIM TO SHOOT THE SEQUENCE

AND I COULD TELL SOMETHING DISTURBING WAS HAPPENING

ON THE OTHER END OF THIS PHONE CALL.

MIA DISCOVERED THAT WOODY WAS HAVING THIS AFFAIR

WITH ONE OF HER ADOPTED KIDS.

MIA HAD GONE OVER TO WOODY'S APARTMENT FOR SOMETHING AND,

ON A MANTELPIECE IN A ROOM,

DISCOVERED SOME NUDE POLAROIDS OF HER ADOPTED DAUGHTER SOON-YI.

IT TOOK ME

TWO OR THREE DAYS TO CONVINCE MIA

TO COME BACK TO WORK AND FINISH THE FILM

BECAUSE HER REACTION WAS "THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY

I COULD SEE THIS PERSON ANYMORE."

AND, YET, THEY HAD TO, IN THE MIDST

OF THIS TERRIBLE EMOTIONAL THING FOR BOTH OF THEM,

BEHAVE IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER TO FINISH THE WORK.

SO SHE, LIKE A TROOPER,

CAME AND FINISHED HER JOB.

WE WERE GOING TO THE FACULTY DINNER --

AND I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS --

AROUND FIFTH AVENUE AND IT WAS JUST

AN ICY BLACK NIGHT, WE WERE WALKING DOWNTOWN.

REMEMBER THAT? AND THEN, SUDDENLY,

WE DECIDED NOT TO GO TO THE DINNER,

JUST SAID, "THE HELL WITH IT."

IT WAS JUST SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

WE WALKED INTO CENTRAL PARK.

IT WAS, YOU KNOW, SO SNOWY THAT NIGHT.

I REMEMBER HOW COLD IT WAS.

WE COULD SEE EVERY STAR.

YOU WERE SO BEAUTIFUL IN THAT BLACK DRESS.

REALLY -- MMM.

DON'T DO THAT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IT'S OVER AND WE BOTH KNOW IT.

Brickman: WHEN THE GREAT COSMIC RIFT OCCURRED,

YOU KNOW, ACROSS THE PARK

WOODY WAS THE ANTICHRIST

ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEW YORK POST EVERY DAY.

Lax: THEIR LIFE BLEW UP AND THIS JUST BECAME FODDER

FOR THE GOSSIP MAGAZINES

AND FOR TELEVISION AND FOR NEWSPAPERS.

IT WAS INTENSELY COVERED.

THE 12-YEAR RELATIONSHIP OF WOODY ALLEN

AND MIA FARROW HAS COME TO A BITTER END.

DIRECTOR WOODY ALLEN HAS CONFIRMED HE IS

IN LOVE WITH MIA FARROW'S ADOPTED DAUGHTER.

THE ACRIMONIOUS BREAKUP CAUSED BY ALLEN'S AFFAIR

WITH FARROW'S ADOPTED DAUGHTER SOON-YI.

[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]

Lax: AND WHEN IT BECAME A CUSTODY BATTLE BETWEEN THEM,

IT WAS ALMOST LURID, IN THE WAY THAT IT WAS HANDLED.

THERE WAS NOTHING TOO SMALL THAT WASN'T SCOOPED UP.

WOODY ALLEN AND MIA FARROW HAVE A DATE TOMORROW...

IN COURT.

PEOPLE EVERYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY

ARE TALKING ABOUT AN UGLY CHILD CUSTODY BATTLE.

THE MUD THICKENED TODAY

IN THE CHILD CUSTODY BATTLE

BETWEEN WOODY ALLEN AND ACTRESS MIA FARROW.

THAT BITTER BATTLE BETWEEN WOODY ALLEN

AND MIA FARROW OVER VISITATION

AND CUSTODY RIGHTS TO THEIR CHILDREN

HEATED UP AGAIN TODAY.

HIS BREAKUP WITH LONGTIME COMPANION MIA FARROW

AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT FIGHT OVER CHILD CUSTODY

HAS TURNED HIS PRIVATE LIFE INTO A PUBLIC SOAP OPERA.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DIDN'T THINK

I WAS THAT FAMOUS, TO WARRANT SUCH COVERAGE.

I WAS ON MAGAZINE COVERS.

I'M THINKING, "YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

I'M NOT THAT BIG A DEAL, TO WARRANT THIS INTEREST."

BUT, APPARENTLY, IT WAS A GOOD, JUICY STORY,

A VERY JUICY STORY AND, YOU KNOW,

IT TOOK A LITTLE EDGE OFF MY NATURAL BLANDNESS.

YOU REALIZE HOW THESE CELEBRITY CASES COME TO PLAY,

THAT NOTHING CAN BE MORE IMPORTANT IN THE COUNTRY

AT THAT MOMENT THAN WHATEVER CELEBRITY CASE IS PLAYING

AND IT WILL LAST UNTIL THE NEXT ONE COMES ALONG.

A JUDGE HAS REFUSED WOODY ALLEN'S REQUEST

FOR CUSTODY OF HIS THREE CHILDREN --

ONE BIOLOGICAL, TWO ADOPTED.

Aronson: THE CUSTODY ISSUE WAS --

WAS TERRIBLE.

THAT WAS -- YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T --

HE NEVER CARES WHAT THEY WRITE ABOUT HIM IN THE NEWSPAPER.

EVEN THOUGH I CARE AND PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT HIM CARE,

HE DOESN'T CARE AND HE DOESN'T READ IT SO IT DOESN'T,

YOU KNOW, IMPACT HIM IN THE SAME WAY.

NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE HIS KIDS

WAS TERRIBLE FOR HIM.

Taylor: ALL THROUGH THIS UPSET WITH MIA

AND THE SCANDAL SURROUNDING IT,

HE WAS NEVER LATE FOR A MEETING.

WE WOULD HAVE A CASTING SESSION

BEFORE HE'D GO TO COURT, HALF THE TIME.

HE NEVER MISSED A BEAT.

IT WAS ALMOST AS IF

WOODY HAS DREADED SO MANY BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO HIM IN LIFE

THAT, WHEN SOMETHING REALLY BAD DID HAPPEN TO HIM,

HE WAS TOTALLY PREPARED.

EVERYBODY HAD AN OPINION ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE,

WHICH I FELT THEY WERE ALL FREE TO HAVE

AND FREE TO RESPOND IN ANY WAY THAT MADE THEM HAPPY.

THEY COULD SYMPATHIZE WITH ME, NOT SYMPATHIZE WITH ME;

THEY COULD DISLIKE ME, THEY COULD LIKE ME;

THEY COULD, YOU KNOW --

IT COULD HAVE NO EFFECT ON WHETHER THEY SAW MY FILMS,

THEY COULD NEVER SEE MY FILMS AGAIN.

NONE OF THAT MATTERED TO ME.

I REALLY, AT THE TIME, THOUGHT,

"OH, MY GOD, IS THIS REALLY THE RUINATION OF WOODY?"

BUT, YOU KNOW,

HE WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE HIS WORK AND HIS CAREER,

WHICH, TO ME, IS THE MAIN THING.

HOW MUCH I ENVY HIS ABILITY TO COMPARTMENTALIZE.

HE WAS ABLE TO CONTINUE TO WORK ALL THE TIME --

WOODY HAS THE ABILITY TO COMPARTMENTALIZE HIS LIFE.

SO HE WAS ABLE TO SORT OF COMPARTMENTALIZE --

WOODY'S ABILITY TO COMPARTMENTALIZE --

HE CAN COMPARTMENTALIZE HIS LIFE.

I'M VERY GOOD AT COMPARTMENTALIZING,

FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

WHEN WE WERE WRITING "BULLETS OVER BROADWAY,"

THE CUSTODY TRIAL WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

AND SO THERE WERE, OF NECESSITY,

A LOT OF INTERRUPTIONS IN OUR WORK.

WE'D BE TALKING THROUGH THE SCENES,

AS WE WOULD DO WITH EACH OTHER,

AND THEN THE PHONE WOULD RING AND HE'D SAY,

"OH, EXCUSE ME, I GOT TO TAKE THIS" AND THEN HE'D GO OVER

AND YOU WOULD HEAR A VERY HUSHED "HELLO," YOU'D HEAR, YOU KNOW,

"DETECTIVE" AND MAYBE "GET A SAMPLE."

YOU KNOW, YOU'D HEAR KIND OF HAIR-RAISING PHRASES

AND THEN HE'D HANG UP AND HE'D COME BACK AND HE'D GO,

[ Snaps fingers ] "OKAY, LET'S GO BACK TO WORK."

I JUST REMEMBER THIS ONE DAY, WE HAD BEEN INTERRUPTED

THREE TIMES AND, AFTER THE THIRD TIME,

WHEN THERE'D BEEN SOME OTHER GRISLY EXCHANGE ON THE PHONE,

HE CAME BACK AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND HE GOES,

"OKAY, BACK TO WORK ON OUR LITTLE COMIC BAUBLE."

WE GOT THE MONEY! WE CAN DO THE PLAY!

WHAT?! WHEN?! HOW?!

A SINGLE BACKER GOING FOR THE WHOLE SHOW.

AND NO HITCHES?

WELL, UH...

WE'LL MEET TOMORROW AND DISCUSS IT, ALL RIGHT?

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A FUNNY IDEA,

THAT A GUY WANTS TO PUT ON A SHOW

AND A GANGSTER, YOU KNOW, BANKROLLS IT

AND MAKES HIS GIRLFRIEND THE STAR OF IT,

OR ONE OF THE STARS OF IT.

Nick: HEY, DAVE, SHE READ YOUR PLAY. Olive: YES, YES --

SHE THINKS IT'S GREAT.

IT'S THRILLING, TURBULENT, A PAGE-TURNER.

CHARMED, CHARMED, CHARMED, CHARMED.

SHE'S A GREAT LITTLE ACTRESS, YOU KNOW.

SHE JUST NEEDS AS BREAK.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN IN, MISS, UH...?

OLIVE, OLIVE, OLIVE. CALL ME OLIVE, HONEY.

OLIVE. YOU'RE -- WELL, YOU'RE EXPERIENCED?

WELL, I HAD A LITTLE EXPERIENCE.

OH, SHE AIN'T GOT NO EXPERIENCE.

I DO, TOO. I HAVE, TOO! SHE'S A NATURAL.

THEY AIN'T TALKING DANCING, OLIVE.

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

YOU DON'T MEAN DANCING, DO YOU?

SHE USED TO WIGGLE AT THIS JOINT IN HOBOKEN, YOU KNOW,

PICK UP QUARTERS OFF THE TABLETOPS WITH HER --

HEY! HEY! HEY!

I'M JUST TRYING TO BREAK THE ICE, ALL RIGHT?

BUTT OUT, WHY DON'T YOU! THEY'RE TALKING TO ME!

WHO WANTS A DRINK? I'LL HAVE A DOUBLE ANYTHING.

"BULLETS OVER BROADWAY" IS JUST --

I JUST THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL MOVIE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY,

"WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW" -- WELL.

IT MUST BE DIFFICULT, GETTING A WORK LIKE THIS ON.

IT'S A SAD REALITY OF THE MARKETPLACE,

I'LL TELL YOU.

WE'VE NEVER REALLY HAD A CHANCE TO TALK.

NO. HI, FOLKS. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

TWO MARTINIS, PLEASE, VERY DRY.

HOW'D YOU KNOW WHAT I DRANK?

OH, YOU WANT ONE, TOO? THREE.

McGrath: WE SPOKE A LOT BY PHONE WHEN HE WAS MAKING "BULLETS"

AND SO I'D SAY, "HOW'S THE MOVIE GOING?"

AND HE'D SAY, "EVERYTHING'S GOING GREAT,"

BUT, AT FIRST, DIANNE WIEST,

WHOM I HAD FELT, RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING,

WAS WRONG FOR THAT PART -- AND HAD NO TROUBLE TELLING HIM.

I KEPT SAYING, "DIANNE WIEST FOR THAT VAIN, HAMMY ACTRESS?"

BECAUSE YOU KNOW,

SHE'S SO SWEET AND VULNERABLE AND, YOU KNOW,

IT SEEMED SO NOT LIKE DIANNE WIEST.

AND HE KEPT SAYING,

"NO, SHE HAS TO DO IT. SHE CAN DO ANYTHING."

SO I THOUGHT, "OKAY, GO AHEAD, SINK YOUR OWN PICTURE,

WHAT DO I KNOW?"

WHAT HAPPENED WAS THIS -- WE SHOT FOR TWO DAYS.

HE SAID, "TONIGHT, COME AND SEE THE DAILIES WITH ME."

I SAT THERE AND I SAW THIS PAINFUL, PAINFUL ATTEMPT

FOR ME TO DO THIS ROLE, PATHETIC, PATHETIC.

HE SAID, "DO YOU SEE?" AND I SAID, "YEAH, I DO."

HE SAID, "WELL," YOU KNOW, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"

AND I SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO PICK UP THE PHONE

"AND YOU'VE GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO CAN DO THIS.

IT'S NOT ME. YOU'VE GOT TO REPLACE ME."

HE SAID, "NO, NO, NO, NO.

THERE'S SOMETHING WE CAN DO. THERE'S SOMETHING."

WHEN I WAS TALKING TO HER, SHE WAS CONVINCED

SHE WAS GOING TO GET FIRED.

AND WITH THE FIRST COUPLE THINGS WE RESHOT,

SHE DIDN'T HAVE THAT DEEP BARITONE VOICE

AND I THINK SHE WAS SORT OF FINDING THAT.

OR THEY WERE FINDING IT TOGETHER.

WITHOUT MY OWN VOICE, I WAS FREE TO DO

THIS MAD, CRAZY, YOU KNOW, PSYCHOTIC WOMAN.

HELEN, HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I SAID BEFORE,

ABOUT THE WAY I FEEL? Don't speak.

BUT I WANT TO EXPRESS --

Don't speak, don't.

THERE'S JUST A FEW THINGS THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU --

DON'T SPEAK, NO, NO.

WHEN WE FIRST MET, I WAS THINKING --

DON'T SPEAK. PLEASE, DON'T SPEAK, PLEASE.

DON'T SPEAK! NO! NO, NO, NO!

GO, GO, GENTLE SCORPIO, GO!

YOUR PISCES WISHES YOU EVERY HAPPY RETURN.

JUST ONE --

DON'T SPEAK!

SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT I WANTED HER

TO PLAY IT SO BROADLY,

AND I DID, I WANTED HER TO PLAY IT

LIKE NORMA DESMOND, JUST AS BROAD AS COULD BE.

SHE WENT STRAIGHT FROM THERE TO HER,

I THINK, SECOND ACADEMY AWARD.

Lax: AND SO IT'S ODD --

HE'S A DIRECTOR WHOSE ACTORS GET

TREMENDOUS NUMBERS OF AWARDS OR NOMINATIONS FOR AWARDS,

BUT IF YOU WATCH HIM ON THE SET,

HE'S THE LEAST DIRECTIVE DIRECTOR YOU CAN IMAGINE.

I LOVE HIS DIRECTING STYLE BECAUSE, HONESTLY,

A DIRECTOR WHO HAS CONFIDENCE IN HIS ACTORS

AND WHO DOESN'T TRY AND MUSCLE THEM AROUND THE SET,

ALLOWS THEM TO BLOSSOM AND MAKES THEM TAKE

THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR PERFORMANCE.

SEE, THE THING IS, IF YOU'RE WITH SOMEBODY WHO SAYS,

"IT'S ALL YOU NOW, GO," IT REALLY THEN

PUTS THE BALL IN YOUR COURT, YOU GOT TO COME WITH THE GOODS.

SO LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION --

ARE YOU EVER FRIGHTENED THAT,

WHEN A GUY COMES OVER YOUR HOUSE AND PAYS YOU,

THAT HE'S GOING TO, YOU KNOW,

MAYBE LIKE TIE YOU UP AND KILL YOU?

OH, NO, I ALWAYS GET PAID IN ADVANCE.

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

COME ON.

HE SAID THAT HE DIDN'T REALLY LIKE TO REHEARSE,

UNLESS I WANTED TO, AND I WAS LIKE, "NO, THAT'S OKAY,"

BECAUSE I ACTUALLY DIDN'T REALLY LOVE REHEARSING EITHER.

HE SAID, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANY

OF THE WORDS I'VE WRITTEN, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO"

AND I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE I WAS LIKE,

THIS IS THE BEST, GENIUS, COMEDY WRITER WE HAVE.

HIS SCRIPT IS SO FANTASTIC, WHY WOULDN'T I SAY THE WORDS?

AND HE SAID, "NO, THE SCRIPT IS JUST A BLUEPRINT.

"IT'S WHATEVER MAKES YOU

"AS REAL, NATURAL, AND FUNNY AS POSSIBLE.

"SO IF YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING ELSE,

GO AHEAD AND SAY IT."

AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF JUST GETTING A REGULAR JOB?

WELL, YEAH, SURE I DID. NO, I DID THINGS.

I WAITED ON TABLES, I WORKED

IN A MASSAGE PARLOR, I DID PHONE SEX.

NOW AND THEN, I WOULD, YOU KNOW,

TURN A FEW TRICKS

IN ORDER TO MAKE SOME DOUGH.

AND ONE DAY, MY FRIEND SUZIE CALLS ME

AND SHE ASKS ME IF I WANT TO BE IN A FILM,

SOMETHING CALLED "SNATCH HAPPY,"

AND I SAID SURE AND I REMEMBER

I WAS VERY NERVOUS BECAUSE I'D NEVER DONE IT

IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WITH A CAMERA BEFORE,

YOU KNOW, AND SO, THERE I AM ON THE FIRST DAY,

ON THE SET, AND THERE'S THIS GUY

FUCKING ME FROM BEHIND, RIGHT?

AND THERE'S THESE TWO HUGE GUYS DRESSED LIKE COPS

IN MY MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME

AND I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF,

"I LIKE ACTING. I WANT TO STUDY."

I NEVER EXPECTED TO WIN THE OSCAR, NEVER.

AND I WAS, LIKE, PREPARING TO BE HAPPY

FOR WHOMEVER'S NAME THEY CALLED,

AND THEN THEY CALLED MINE.

I THINK THE SECRET IS

THAT EVERYBODY WANTS TO WORK FOR HIM SO BADLY

THAT THEY KNOW THEY HAVE TO DO THEIR BEST

AND I THINK THEY BRING THEIR VERY BEST

TO THE SET EVERY DAY ON A WOODY ALLEN FILM.

THEY DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT.

Allen: WE GAVE SEAN GUITAR LESSONS.

SIX MONTHS BEFORE THE MOVIE,

WE SENT A GUITAR -- WE PAID FOR A GUITAR TEACHER

TO GO OVER TO EUROPE AND STAY WITH HIM.

SO, I DIDN'T HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, DO ONE OF THOSE SHOTS

WHERE YOU ALWAYS HAD TO CUT AWAY TO SOMEONE ELSE'S HAND.

THAT WAS SEAN.

Penn: HE DIDN'T ASK TO SEE OR KNOW ANYTHING

UNTIL HE ROLLED THE CAMERA.

HIS FEELING IS THAT THE BEST, COMPLETE THING HE'S GOING TO GET

IS GOING TO COME OUT OF THE ACTOR'S INSTINCT

AND THAT WHAT HE FINDS OUT ON DAY ONE IS

WHETHER OR NOT HE CAST IT WELL.

REALLY, I'M NOT ONE OF THESE GUYS

WHO GETS HIS HEAD TURNED

EVERY TIME SOME DAME WALKS BY.

I'VE HAD PLENTY OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

AND I ALWAYS PUT 'EM IN THEIR PLACE.

YEAH, "LOVE 'EM AND LEAVE 'EM,"

THAT'S MY MOTTO.

"LOVE 'EM AND DON'T LOOK BACK."

I NEVER ONCE REGRETTED -- NOT ONE TIME

DID I EVER REGRET DUMPING A BEAUTIFUL DAME.

BECAUSE YOU GOT TO KEEP YOUR GUARD UP.

YOU DON'T, THEM PRETTY ONES

GET THEIR WORMS IN YOU

AND THEN IT'S OVER, YOU'RE DONE.

PARTICULARLY IF YOU'RE AN ARTIST.

NAH, I'VE SEEN TOO MANY GUYS CRYING IN THEIR BEER.

ME? I'M GOING TO BE A STAR.

Penn: AFTER THE "CUT" WAS CALLED,

I LOOKED AT HIM TO SAY, YOU KNOW,

"SHOULD I CHOOSE WINDOW OR AISLE ON MY WAY HOME

OR AM I STICKING AROUND?"

AND HE WAS ALREADY LOOKING AT SOMEBODY ELSE,

GETTING, YOU KNOW, READY TO JUST, YOU KNOW, DO ANOTHER TAKE,

OR DO SOMETHING, AND THERE WAS NEVER A COMMENT AT ALL.

TO THIS DAY, I'VE NEVER HEARD HIM MAKE

A SPECIFIC COMMENT ABOUT THE CHARACTER THAT I PLAYED.

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO DIRECTING AN ACTOR,

IT'S A BARE-BONES CLARITY THAT ANY PERSONALITY

CAN UNDERSTAND AND INTERPRET.

I CAN'T WRITE ALL NIGHT

AND THEN DRIVE IN THE DAYTIME!

YOU KNOW, I FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL.

OH, GOD. WELL, ARE YOU OKAY?

DID ANYONE GET HURT?

LOOK, I NEED TIME TO WORK ON MY BOOK.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT BOOK?

LIKE THAT?

Y-YES, PHYSICALLY LIKE THAT,

BUT WHAT'S MISSING FROM IT IS

THE ARGUMENTATION.

Watts: I THINK I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT HE IS

THE BEST ACTOR'S DIRECTOR I'VE EVER WORKED WITH,

AND I'VE WORKED WITH SOME REALLY GOOD ONES,

SO I SAY THAT

AFTER A LOT OF THOUGHT.

AND SO, WHILE HE'S GIVING US A LOT OF FREE REIN,

HE'S STILL GOING FOR SOMETHING VERY SPECIFIC,

THE WAY HE'S OFFERING THESE SUGGESTIONS ALL THE TIME,

BUT THEN SORT OF BACKTRACKING AND SAYING,

"BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO," AND, YOU KNOW,

"IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT,

THEN FORGET I EVER SAID IT,"

SO IT CAN JUST BE REAL LIFE.

I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU WRITE

AND TEAR UP AND REWRITE THESE CHAPTERS?!

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE SCARED TO FINISH.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M GUN-SHY, I CAN'T HANDLE IT,

IF IT'S CONFIRMED, YET AGAIN,

THAT ALL THOSE NICE THINGS PREDICTED ABOUT ME WERE WRONG.

THAT I WAS, WHAT, A FLASH IN THE PAN?

WELL, STALLING IS NOT THE ANSWER.

ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE FAMILY!

CAN I DO THAT?

YEAH, SURE, YEAH.

SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.

WARN ME.

AND YOU SHUT THE DOOR

BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO CUT IN HERE.

I'M ANYTHING BUT COMFORTABLE ON THIS SET, FOR SURE.

I'VE SPENT A WEEK AND A HALF HERE GETTING READY TO START

AND IT'S BEEN THE MOST TORTUROUS WEEK AND A HALF OF MY LIFE

BECAUSE HE'S ONE OF THESE GUYS THAT YOU WANT TO PLEASE,

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY WANT TO PLEASE HIM.

IT'S LIKE GOING BACK TO, YOU KNOW, ACTING SCHOOL,

YOU KNOW? I FEEL LIKE I KNOW NOTHING

AND I JUST WANT TO PLEASE THIS GUY'S VISION.

AND SHE'S SIPPING HER DRINK, CHATTING.

Brolin: RIGHT HERE. AND I'M --

YOU'RE IN HERE WITH HER.

"WHY?" YOU ASK.

UH-HUH.

NO, I DIDN'T ASK WHY, I JUST ASKED WHERE.

I MEAN, "WHY?" IS ALWAYS THE QUESTION,

WHY WE DO HAVE TO BE ALONE TOGETHER?

THAT I CAN NEVER FIND THE ANSWER TO.

WHAT COULD YOU DO IN HERE?

JUST BE UNCOMFORTABLE.

OKAY.

I MEAN, WHAT COULD I DO AS AN ACTION,

WHAT COULD I DO AS A...?

I MEAN, YOU CAN COME IN --

I MEAN, YOU CAN COME IN FOR YOUR CIGARETTES,

YOU KNOW, GET THEM WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

YOU CAN COME IN AND SIT DOWN

IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR SALAD.

YOU KNOW, IF THEY SAY TO ME,

"WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO IT THIS WAY?"

OR "WAS I TOO MEAN IN THAT?"

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T JUST STARE BACK AT THEM AND NOT ANSWER,

SO I HAVE TO SAY "YES" OR "NO."

YOU DO GET ACTORS THAT WANT A LITTLE FEEDBACK

AND THEY DO ASK QUESTIONS

AND I GIVE THEM A SHORT ANSWER,

A SHORT, FLATTERING ANSWER -- "OH, YOU WERE GREAT,"

YOU KNOW, "DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING,"

OR SOMETHING, AND THEY'RE FINE.

DO IT THAT WAY AND LET'S SEE.

THIS WAS QUITE GOOD.

NOW, IF YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CAN BE

EVEN MORE NATURAL, FINE, THAT NEVER HURTS ANYTHING,

BUT THIS WAS NOT --

IF YOU SAW THIS, YOU WOULDN'T THINK,

"OH, IT'S NOT AUTHENTIC" OR "IT'S ARTIFICIAL."

RIGHT. WELL, THAT'S WHAT I DON'T WANT, BY ANY MEANS.

IT LOOKS PERFECTLY NATURAL.

Brolin: I ASK HIM A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

HE SAYS, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW," YOU KNOW, "LEARN YOUR LINES

AND I'LL POINT YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND YOU'LL BE FINE."

HE DOESN'T REALLY GO INTO MOTIVATION OR,

LIKE, ACTING STUFF, LIKE,

YOU KNOW, "WHAT'S THE BACK HISTORY, WHAT'S THE STORY?"

HE DOESN'T REALLY GO INTO ANY OF THAT.

I THINK -- I'M NOT SURE --

I THINK HE ONCE GAVE A STANDARD DIRECTION,

"DO IT FASTER."

WE DIDN'T MEET UNTIL THREE DAYS BEFORE FILMING,

WHEN I SHOWED UP IN PARIS,

AND WE SHOOK HANDS AND HE ASKED ME HOW MY FLIGHT WAS

AND IT WAS A GOOD FLIGHT AND UNEVENTFUL

AND HE SAID, "GREAT. THIS WILL BE THE LAST YOU HEAR FROM ME."

THE WORDS I THINK YOU HEAR MOST OFTEN ON SET ARE

"MAKE IT UP. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

PUT IT IN YOUR OWN WORDS. IF YOU GET AN IDEA, GO WITH IT."

EVEN IF I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "WOODY, NOBODY SAYS

'VALISE,'" YOU KNOW, "I CAN'T SAY 'VALISE.'"

AND HE'LL SAY, "WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?"

"I HAVE A SUITCASE," HE'LL SAY,

"FINE, SAY 'SUITCASE.' IT DOESN'T MATTER.

"SAY WHATEVER YOU THINK,

AS LONG AS IT HAS THE SAME INTENTION AS THE LINE."

SOME OF THE DIRECTIONS WOULD BE LIKE, YOU KNOW,

"WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS VERY GOOD BUT, YOU KNOW,

THERE'S A KNICKS GAME AND... SPEED IT UP."

"YOU'VE GOT TO MOVE THIS ALONG BECAUSE I'VE GOT TO LEAVE.

THE KNICKS ARE PLAYING." SURE.

I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF PATIENCE, IN LIFE, OR IN GENERAL,

SO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DO ANOTHER TAKE.

IF I'VE GOTTEN WHAT I WANT,

THEN I WANT TO MOVE ON, FINISH, AND GO HOME.

I DON'T HAVE THE CONCENTRATION OR THE DEDICATION

THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE A GREAT ARTIST.

I'D RATHER BE HOME, WATCHING THE BALLGAME.

HE IS A VERY EFFICIENT WORKER AND RUNS HIS SET IN A WAY

WHERE EVERYONE'S WORKING HARD, BUT NOBODY'S TAXED

OR NO ONE'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH,

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ON ANOTHER 18-HOUR DAY."

YOU ONLY DO A HANDFUL OF TAKES.

HE GETS MOST OF HIS FOOTAGE IN MASTER SHOTS,

SO HE'LL SHOOT A 4- OR 5-PAGE SCENE ALL IN ONE SHOT.

I'D BE CONSCIOUS OF "OKAY, ONE PAGE TO GO.

YOU GOT A LINE COMING UP, YOU GOT A LINE COMING UP."

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SCREW UP BECAUSE THEN YOU

HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO MESS UP THE TAKE.

IT'S DAUNTING.

ALMOST A HUNDRED YEARS AFTER THE ABOLITION OF SLAVERY,

A MAN COULDN'T PLAY A GAME OF BASEBALL

IN THE BIG LEAGUES IF HIS SKIN COLOR WAS BLACK, OKAY?

YOU'RE HARPING ON ONE POINT.

OKAY, FORGET BLACKS! TAKE JEWS.

WHAT? HERE WE GO.

FOR YEARS, THEY RESTRICTED THE NUMBER OF JEWS

IN SCHOOL -- MEDICAL SCHOOL.

IN AMERICA, AS MUCH AS THEY HATED BLACKS,

THEY HATE JEWS EVEN MORE.

WHY?

BLACKS, THEY WERE SCARED HAD TOO BIG A PENIS.

JEWS, THEY HATED, EVEN WITH LITTLE PENISES.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M EATING!

AFTER I DID MY FIRST SCENE, HE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID,

"THAT WASN'T HORRIBLE."

[ LAUGHS ]

BUT THIS NOTION THAT I HEAR THAT HE DOESN'T DIRECT,

I MEAN, THAT'S KIND OF RIDICULOUS.

HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS.

THE THING ABOUT WOODY, AS A DIRECTOR,

WAS "JUST GO, BE THERE AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT

AND MESS UP THE LINES AND TURN YOUR BACK TO THE CAMERA

AND LET'S GRAB IT HERE AND LETS GO."

YOU GOT TO GO BACK TO YOUR SHRINK.

I WANT YOU TO SEE DR. BALLARD AGAIN.

LARRY, I WENT FOR TWO YEARS!

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW HOW

GENERAL MOTORS WILL RECALL DEFECTIVE CARS?

YOU GOT TO GO IN FOR A TUNEUP.

LARRY, WE'LL BE IN AND OUT IN FIVE MINUTES, HONEY.

NO, NO, I'M TELLING YOU!

I'M YOUR HUSBAND. I COMMAND YOU TO SLEEP!

WELL, I -- SLEEP!

NO! I COMMAND IT! I COMMAND IT!

IT WAS SO EASY.

IT WAS SO SIMPLE AND RELAXED AND FUN

AND NO PRESSURE AND NOBODY EXPECTED ANYTHING

AND I'VE NEVER WORKED WITH ANYBODY LIKE THAT, EVER.

THIS MUSICAL WE DID, "EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU,"

WE HAD A VERY INVOLVED SEQUENCE WITH GOLDIE HAWN

WHICH INVOLVED DANCING WITH WIRES IN PARIS.

AS FAR AS WOODY WAS CONCERNED,

"OH, WE'LL JUST SHOW UP AND DO IT ON THE DAY."

I SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S, LIKE,

ALL THESE FLYING RIGS AND, YOU KNOW, DANCE CHOREOGRAPHY

AND, I MEAN, THIS ALL HAS TO BE WORKED OUT.

WE JUST CAN'T SHOW UP ON THE DAY WITH, YOU KNOW,

WITH A HUNDRED GUYS ON THE QUAY."

I USED TO HAVE TO, LIKE, DRAG HIM, KICKING AND SCREAMING,

FOR, LIKE, ONE OR TWO REHEARSALS FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

♪ JUST YOU ♪

♪ JUST ME ♪

♪ LET'S FIND A COZY SPOT ♪

♪ WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE ♪

Allen: I WANTED TO DO THE OLD- FASHIONED KIND OF MUSICAL,

WHERE I USED OLD-FASHIONED SONGS.

I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING MORE INNOVATIVE OR MODERN,

I JUST, YOU KNOW, WANTED TO GET PEOPLE WHO, YOU KNOW,

LIKE TO SING IN THE SHOWER OR COULDN'T SING.

NONE OF THAT MATTERED TO ME.

♪ WHAT ARE MY ARMS FOR? ♪

♪ USE YOUR IMAGINATION ♪

♪ JUST US ♪

♪ JUST THE TWO OF US ♪

Allen: THAT FILM HAS GOT ITS FANS,

BUT IT WAS NOT A HUGE SUCCESS.

I DID IT, LIKE ALL MY FILMS,

FOR THE FEW PEOPLE WHO LIKE IT.

Feeney: IT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE OF THE AUTEUR THEORY,

THERE WERE A LOT OF FILMMAKERS WHO FELT,

"NO, I HAVE TO MAKE A GREAT FILM."

PEOPLE FELT OBLIGED TO TOP THEMSELVES.

WOODY ALLEN HAS NEVER FELT OBLIGED TO TOP HIMSELF.

HE'S FELT OBLIGED TO DO WHATEVER INTERESTS HIM MOST,

TO GO THERE WITH A FULL COMMITMENT,

BUT WHEN HE'S DONE, HE MOVES ON,

AND HE JUST -- HE MOVES RIGHT INTO THE NEXT THING.

Allen: "DECONSTRUCTING HARRY" WAS BASED ON THE PREMISE

THAT YOU LEARNED ABOUT THE CHARACTER AND HIS LIFE

FROM WHAT HE WROTE.

SO HARRY WAS A WRITER WHO'S HAVING A WRITER'S BLOCK

AND WAS GOING THROUGH BAD CHILD CUSTODY STUFF WITH HIS EX-WIFE.

SICK, SICK, SICK [BLEEP] BASTARD.

AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING,

THAT WHAT HE WROTE WAS TELLING

AND MAYBE EVEN SOMETIMES MORE TELLING ABOUT HIM

THAN HOW HE CARRIED ON IN HIS ACTUAL LIFE.

I LIKE IT.

A CHARACTER WHO'S TOO NEUROTIC TO FUNCTION IN LIFE,

THAT CAN ONLY FUNCTION IN ART.

Allen: NOW HARRY'S NOTHING LIKE ME.

I'VE NEVER HAD A WRITER'S BLOCK IN MY LIFE.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD NEVER HAVE THE NERVE

TO KIDNAP A CHILD IN A CUSTODY THING.

I -- THAT'S NOT MY LIFE.

WHAT'S THE MAN LIKE?

IT'S ME, THINLY DISGUISED.

IN FACT, I-I DON'T EVEN THINK

I SHOULD DISGUISE IT ANYMORE.

IT'S -- YOU KNOW, I-IT'S ME.

UH-HUH.

IN THE LATE '90s AND THEN INTO THE TURN OF THE NEXT CENTURY,

SOME PEOPLE WERE STARTING TO WRITE HIM OFF,

SAYING THAT HE WAS PLAYED OUT.

THERE'S A PERIOD THAT COMES AFTER "DECONSTRUCTING HARRY"

WHERE I JUST HAD TO THINK OF IT AS WOODY ADRIFT,

BECAUSE HE WAS MAKING A FILM A YEAR.

THEY WERE COMING OUT STEADILY,

BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS OFF IN FILM AFTER FILM.

YOU KNOW, AND THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE SOMETHING THAT WAS ON

IN FILM AFTER FILM AT THE SAME TIME.

BUT YOU'D SEE AND YOU'D GO INTO EACH NEW WOODY ALLEN FILM

AND HOPE, 'CAUSE YOU NEVER DO KNOW.

I SUGGESTED ONCE TO HIM,

"WHAT IF YOU WERE ONLY MAKING ONE FILM EVERY TWO YEARS?

"WOULDN'T THAT BE MORE OF AN EVENT?

"WOULDN'T PEOPLE JUST FEEL LIKE

THERE WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT IT?"

AND HE SAID, "NO, THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL."

HE JUST HAS TO BE OUT THERE MAKING FILMS.

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A PERSON WHO'S DONE WHAT HE WANTED,

WHETHER IT WAS MOVING FROM "BANANAS" TO "ANNIE HALL"

OR MOVING FROM "ANNIE HALL" TO "INTERIORS."

THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN...

HIS CAREER HAS BEEN GUIDED PURELY BY HIS SENSE

OF WHAT'S THE RIGHT THING FOR HIM TO DO,

NOT "WHAT DOES THE AUDIENCE WANT ME TO DO?"

AND HE'S NOT AFRAID TO FAIL. THAT'S THE THING, TOO.

LIKE, FAILURE DOES NOTH-- HE KIND OF --

YOU CAN TELL

HE KIND OF APPROACHES IT LIKE A BASEBALL PLAYER.

LIKE, "OKAY, I'LL GET 'EM THE NEXT TIME."

I'M WILLING TO FAIL WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM WHATSOEVER.

I JUST -- I DRAW THE LINE

AT AN OBVIOUS, FLAGRANT COMMITTING SUICIDE.

I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT COMMERCIAL SUCCESS,

AND THE END RESULT IS I RARELY ACHIEVE IT.

SEE, THAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT WOODY.

HE REALLY DOESN'T GIVE A HOOT WHAT ANYBODY SAYS ABOUT HIM,

YOU KNOW, WHICH I THINK

IS THE HALLMARK OF AN ARTISTIC SENSIBILITY,

AS OPPOSED TO KIND OF A MORE NORMAL MOVIE-MAKING SENSIBILITY.

YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU GET TOO CAUGHT UP

IN REVIEWS OR HOW THE MOVIE'S DOING

IF YOU'RE ALREADY ON TO YOUR NEXT MOVIE?

WHICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD WAY TO BE,

'CAUSE IT KIND OF PROTECTS YOU A LITTLE BIT FROM, YOU KNOW,

"HOW'S THIS DOING?"

OR "WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS ON THIS?"

IT'S AN ARTIST

WHO CONTINUALLY PAINTS

AND HAS TO BE HEARD FROM AND HAS TO --

MAYBE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS,

BUT DO YOU DO IT SO THAT YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

AND YOU WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

AND YOU'RE STILL THINKING

AND YOU'RE STILL IN THERE PUNCHING?

YOU KNOW, I THINK PROBABLY THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

HOW MANY GREAT FILMS HAS HE MADE?

A LOT. YOU KNOW, SO HE'S MADE

A FEW CLUNKERS, BUT EVEN THE CLUNKERS,

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING ABOUT THEM.

ALWAYS.

THAT'S ART.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE QUANTITY THEORY.

I FEEL IF I KEEP MAKING FILMS AND JUST KEEP MAKING THEM,

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, I'LL GET LUCKY

AND ONE WILL COME OUT, AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS.

I JUST WILL NEVER FORGET, YOU KNOW,

AFTER "CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION,"

AFTER "ANYTHING ELSE,"

AFTER ALL THOSE FILMS THAT SEEMED TO WANDER...

IN A THEATER, SEEING A MOVIE.

OKAY, HERE'S A COMING ATTRACTION

FOR A FILM THAT'S SET IN BRITAIN.

IT'S A THRILLER,

AND IT LOOKS REALLY INTENSE, AND IT'S GOT A GOOD CAST.

PEOPLE ARE NUDGING, "HEY, LET'S SEE THIS."

Man: SO YOU'RE THREATENING ME?

IF I DON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY, YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO MY WIFE.

HELLO?

WHO KEEPS CALLING?

YOU LIED TO ME.

YOU'RE A LIAR!

YOU CAN LEARN TO PUSH THE GUILT

UNDER THE RUG AND GO ON.

OTHERWISE, IT OVERWHELMS YOU.

[ GUNSHOT ]

Feeney: AND THEN, SUDDENLY, BOOM --

"WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY WOODY ALLEN."

"MATCH POINT." HELLO, WHAT'S THIS?

I GREW UP ON WOODY ALLEN MOVIES,

SO, FOR ME, WORKING WITH WOODY WAS ALWAYS --

THAT WAS LIKE, YOU MADE IT.

YOU HAVE TO LEAN IN

AND HIT THROUGH THE BALL.

I WAS DOING JUST FINE UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP.

AH, THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

SO TELL ME,

WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG AMERICAN PING PONG PLAYER

DOING MINGLING AMONGST THE BRITISH UPPER CLASS?

DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU

YOU PLAY A VERY AGGRESSIVE GAME?

DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU YOU HAVE VERY SENSUAL LIPS?

EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE.

"MATCH POINT" IS SEXY.

IT'S A SEXY, SEXY MOVIE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I MEAN -- I MEAN, IT'S MORE SEXUAL

THAN ANYTHING FROM GUYS HALF HIS AGE.

THIS CAN'T LEAD ANYPLACE.

Johansson: IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING

"MATCH POINT," WE SHOT THAT SCENE IN THE WHEAT FIELD,

AND IT'S POURING RAIN,

AND I'M, OF COURSE, ALLERGIC TO WHEAT.

WOODY KNOWS THIS AND THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS, I'M SURE.

I'M DYING AND SINUS-Y AND MUCOUS-Y

AND ITCHY AND FEELING NOT SEXY AT ALL.

NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS

TOTALLY SPLIT MY LIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCENE

WITH HIS TOOTH.

WOODY WOULD SAY THINGS LIKE, "IT LOOKED -- IT LOOKED --

"NO, I SAW THE DAILIES THE OTHER DAY, AND THEY WERE GOOD.

"VERY -- I-I LIKED -- I THINK IT'S -- I THINK IT'S --

I THINK IT'S WORKING. I THINK IT'S WORKING."

YOU KNOW, AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE, "OKAY, WOODY, I--

"WELL, IF YOU THINK IT'S WORKING, THEN IT MEANS

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY RESHOOTS OF THAT LAST SCENE."

IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST SUMMERS OF MY LIFE SHOOTING THAT MOVIE.

I HAD SUCH AN INCREDIBLE TIME.

AND PART OF THAT WAS REALLY JUST FORMING A FRIENDSHIP WITH WOODY.

WE JUST WERE TWO PEAS IN A POD.

I FEEL VERY LUCKY

TO BE SITTING ON THIS COUCH WITH --

WITH A PROVEN GENIUS.

YOU KNOW, I WEAR THE MANTLE OF GREATNESS WITH HUMILITY.

I MEAN, I THINK YOU HAVE TO.

IT IS LONELY AT THE TOP. WHOEVER SAID THAT KNEW.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF SHE WAS --

IF I WAS A LITTLE LESS INTELLIGENT,

OR MAYBE SHE WAS SLIGHTLY BRIGHTER OR SOMETHING...

OR IF YOU HAD KIND OF BROWN -- MORE BROWNISH HAIR.

YEAH, MAYBE IF I HAD BROWNISH HAIR OR IF I WAS --

YOU KNOW, WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED?

SCARLETT, YOU KNOW, IS A CRIPPLER.

BUT LIKE ANY ARTIST, YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING.

IT CAN'T ALL BE TECHNIQUE.

AND WITH SCARLETT

AND PENéLOPE, THEY'RE SAYING SOMETHING.

I THOUGHT WE COULD GO FOR A RIDE TO THE COUNTRYSIDE LATER.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THE WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL.

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

IN ENGLISH.

OH, NO, IT'S FINE.

YOU SPEAK NO SPANISH?

NO, I-I, UH, STUDIED CHINESE.

CHINESE?

WHY?

WHEN WE WERE IN BARCELONA,

AND THEY TOOK PENéLOPE AND JAVIER AND WHATEVER,

THEY WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT GETTING FIRED.

I KEPT ON SAYING, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

"YOU TWO ARE SO GREAT.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT."

THAT WAS THEIR MAIN CONCERN,

'CAUSE WOODY HAS THAT REPUTATION.

[ ARGUING IN SPANISH ]

Cruz: HE COMPLETELY TRUSTED JAVIER AND I

WITH THE TRANSLATION FROM THE ENGLISH TO SPANISH,

BECAUSE WE DID THE TRANSLATION OURSELVES,

AND WE IMPROVISED SO MUCH.

AND HE WAS ALWAYS WALKING AROUND THE SET --

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THESE TWO ARE SAYING, BUT I TRUST THEM."

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAID.

I MEAN, THEY COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT,

YOU KNOW, BUILDING AN ATOMIC BOMB OR SOMETHING.

I MEAN, I JUST KNOW THE MOVIE SEEMED TO GO OVER WITH PEOPLE,

SO THEY MUST HAVE BEEN DOING SOMETHING CORRECT.

IS IT REASONABLE OF ME TO ASK YOU

IF YOU WILL BOTH JOIN ME IN MY ROOM?

I'M ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED.

I HAVE A HANDSOME, LOVELY FIANCé WHO I MAKE LOVE WITH

AND ALSO HOLDS A VERY REAL PLACE IN MY HEART,

AND TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK, JUAN ANTONIO,

IF I WERE THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT PLAYED AROUND,

I DON'T THINK IT'S IN THE CARDS FOR US.

AND YOU?

I'LL GO TO YOUR ROOM, BUT...

YOU HAVE TO SEDUCE ME.

HE LOVES WOMEN, HE APPRECIATES WOMEN.

HE HAS WRITTEN SOME OF THE BEST FEMALE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME.

AND I LOVE HOW WELL HE KNOWS NEUROTIC WOMEN.

I KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO SETTLE

TILL I FIND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

WHICH IS WHAT?

UM...

SOMETHING ELSE.

I WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SOMETHING MORE,

SOME SORT OF...

COUNTERINTUITIVE LOVE.

MEANING?

MEANING...

[ Chuckling ] I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.

I ONLY KNOW WHAT I DON'T WANT.

AND IF YOU DON'T START UNDRESSING ME SOON,

THIS IS GOING TO TURN INTO A PANEL DISCUSSION.

Feeney: HE'S CAST THAT SCENE SO PERFECTLY

THAT THOSE TWO ACTORS CAN BRING OFF THEIR OWN HEAT,

BUT THEY ALSO ARE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH THE BRAININESS

OF THE THINGS THEY'RE SAYING.

IT FEELS LIKE A MUCH YOUNGER FILMMAKER

BECAUSE IT FEELS SO IMMEDIATE.

BUT IT'S ALSO SOMEBODY IN HIS 70s KNOWING WHAT LOVE IS,

KNOWING WHAT ATTRACTION IS,

AND BEING ABLE TO REPRESENT IT WELL.

YOU AGE, BUT YOU DON'T --

UNTIL YOU'RE REALLY PUT OUT OF COMMISSION,

YOU CAN STILL DO THAT STUFF, AND YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN RETALIATION ALL THE TIME.

SO, I HAVEN'T REACHED THE AGE YET

WHERE ALL THAT'S BEHIND ME.

BUT THERE WILL COME A DAY WHEN I'LL JUST BE ABLE TO SAY,

"WHAT? WHAT?

CAN YOU MOVE YOUR LIPS? WHAT?"

YOU KNOW. [LAUGHS]

AND THEN -- THEN I WON'T --

I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THOSE SCENES IN MY LIFE,

SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE THEM SO WELL.

THERE ARE A LOT OF SURPRISES THAT HAPPEN BETWEEN WRITING IT,

DOING IT, AND SEEING IT ON THE SCREEN.

MOST SURPRISES ARE NEGATIVE.

MOST SURPRISES ARE THAT YOU THOUGHT SOMETHING

WAS GOOD OR FUNNY, AND IT'S NOT.

I'VE MADE JUST ABOUT 40 FILMS IN MY LIFE,

AND SO FEW OF THEM HAVE REALLY BEEN WORTH ANYTHING

BECAUSE IT'S NOT EASY.

IF IT WAS EASY, IT WOULDN'T BE FUN,

IT WOULDN'T BE VALUABLE.

McGrath: HE GAVE ME THIS THEORY THAT STAYED WITH ME EVER SINCE,

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GREAT.

HE SAID, "EVERY MOVIE HAS A SORT OF AMOUNT OF TIME

THAT AN AUDIENCE WILL SIT FOR THAT STORY."

SO HE IS RUTHLESS ABOUT LOOKING AT EVERYTHING AND SAYING,

"IT'S GOOD, BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH. IT'S OUT."

LET'S RUN THROUGH IT A LITTLE BIT.

I THOUGHT JUST THE SPARKLER AND THE TEST TUBES.

Man: YOU WANT TO GO BACK

AND MAKE SOME MORE OF THOSE OTHERS THEN?

YEAH, LET'S GO BACK.

LET'S TRIM THE CUT BEFORE THAT.

I WOULD JUST USE THAT AND THAT'S IT.

I WOULDN'T USE ANYTHING AFTER THAT.

I'D MOVE IN TO THAT AND LOSE ALL THE FOOTAGE AFTER THAT.

Allen: WHEN I FIRST STARTED EDITING,

WE EDITED WITH A MOVIEOLA,

WHICH IS REALLY, UH, LIKE AN OLD MODEL T.

AND WE SPLICED, AND THE FILM WAS SPLICED,

AND WE LOOKED AT IT,

AND ALL THOSE FILMS GOT MADE ON MOVIEOLAS

AND STEENBECKS FOR DECADES.

AND THEY WERE FINE, THEY WERE NO PROBLEM.

AND IT WAS MORE TEDIOUS, AND IT WOULD TAKE WEEKS.

NOW I CAN EDIT A PICTURE IN FOUR OR FIVE DAYS,

FROM A TECHNICAL POINT OF VIEW, WITHOUT A PROBLEM

BECAUSE MY EDITOR IS PUNCHING IN KEYS,

AND IT GOES VERY, VERY FAST.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN WHAT YOU SET OUT TO MAKE

AND WHAT YOU MAKE ALMOST EVERY TIME.

Man: HER EX-HUSBAND, ALFIE SHEPRIDGE.

HE AWOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,

THOUGHT ABOUT ETERNITY, BROKE OUT IN A SWEAT,

AND IT'S BEEN JOGGING AND HEALTH FOODS EVER SINCE.

IS THAT THE BEST -- IS THAT THE BEST ONE WE HAVE ON HIM

OR DO WE HAVE -- DO WE HAVE A MORE --

ANGLES.

LET'S JUST CHECK AND SEE IF WE HAVE AN ANGRIER ONE.

JUST THE "THAT'S ENOUGH" WOULD DO IT.

SO IT'S A FAST CUT TO HIM.

[ SPEAKING IN REVERSE ]

THAT'S ENOUGH. STOP IT.

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

YOU KNOW, BY THE TIME YOU GET THE THING TOGETHER,

IT'S SUCH A MESS,

AND YOU'RE FLITTING AROUND THE EDITING ROOM

MAKING ALL SORTS OF COMPROMISES AND SAYING,

"OH, GEE, IF I PUT THE LAST SCENE FIRST

"AND THE MIDDLE SCENE, YOU KNOW, AT THE END OF THE PICTURE

"AND GET A NARRATOR AND USE DISSOLVES

"AND DO OPTICALS, AND PUT THIS IN SLOW MOTION

AND USE TITLES HERE."

AND YOU'RE STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL.

AND I STILL SCREW UP A LOT OF THE TIMES.

SO THAT'S WHY I'VE OFTEN SAID --

AND IT SOUNDS FACETIOUS, BUT I'M SERIOUS --

THAT THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN GREATNESS AND ME IS ME.

YOU KNOW, THERE IS NO EXCUSE.

Man: MY QUESTION IS FOR MR. WOODY ALLEN.

YOUR FILM SAYS MANY THINGS ABOUT DEATH,

SO I'D LIKE TO ASK, HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH DEATH NOW?

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DEATH REMAINS THE SAME.

I'M STRONGLY AGAINST IT

AND, UM...

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

Aronson: WOODY IS NOT HAPPY TO HAVE TO PROMOTE THE FILMS.

HE DOESN'T LIKE DOING INTERVIEWS,

AND HE ALSO IS A BIG BELIEVER

THAT NONE OF THE PUBLICITY EVER HELPS.

WOODY COMPLAINS

ABOUT DOING THE RED CARPET IN CANNES

OR IN ANY FESTIVAL OR ANY PREMIERE THAT WE HAVE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A BRIEF PERIOD OF TIME,

AND I DON'T THINK IT'S AS TERRIBLE AS HE LIKES TO PORTRAY.

THE WHOLE THING

IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE FOR ME,

BUT MY WIFE LIKES CANNES,

THE KIDS LIKE CANNES.

THE DISTRIBUTORS OF THE FILM, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM.

AND SO, YOU KNOW, I DO IT.

IT'S A SURREAL, PREPOSTEROUS THING,

BECAUSE THERE'S NO EXPERIENCE IN REALITY

WHERE YOU'RE IN A TUXEDO AND YOU'RE WALKING UP

A RED CARPET.

HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE

ARE SCREAMING YOUR NAME, AND FLASHBULBS GOING OFF.

THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO A SCHOOLTEACHER

OR A COLLEGE PROFESSOR, OR A DOCTOR OR -- YOU KNOW.

IT HAS NO REALITY TO IT.

WOODY!

WOODY!

WOODY!

WOODY!

WOODY!

WE'LL BE PASSING AMONG THEM,

THROWING SOME RAW MEAT IN A LITTLE WHILE.

[ LAUGHS ]

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PERFORMER, AS WELL,

SO, FOR ME, IT'S NOT DIFFICULT.

I CAN ADDRESS, YOU KNOW,

200 PEOPLE OR 100 PEOPLE

AND SIT AT ROUND TABLES WITH PEOPLE DOING INTERVIEWS.

YOU KNOW, I'M USED TO IT.

AND I'M USED TO DOING TWO AND THREE SHOWS A NIGHT

AND DOING NIGHTCLUBS AND, SO, YOU KNOW,

IT'S NOT -- NOT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME.

Man: WOODY ALLEN!

Allen: WHEN YOU GO TO A SCREENING

LIKE HERE IN CANNES, THE PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY,

THEY'RE ROOTING FOR YOU.

THEY LOVE YOU.

THEY'RE, YOU KNOW, IN A FESTIVE MOOD,

AND THEY'RE HERE TO SEE FILMS.

AND SO THE FACT THAT THEY'RE CLAPPING AND ALL OF THAT,

AND THE STARS OF THE FILM THAT THEY'VE JUST SEEN

ARE RIGHT THERE LIVE, AND THEY STAND UP.

OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO BE SUPPORTIVE

JUST OUT OF COMMON POLITENESS.

YOU HAVE TO LEARN NOT TO TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY.

WELL, IT WAS A COMPLETELY FAKE REACTION BY THE AUDIENCE.

THEY FAKED IT VERY WELL?

THEY FAKED IT, YEAH. THEY'RE GOOD AT THAT.

THAT'S HOW THEY KEEP THE FESTIVAL GOING.

Allen: NOBODY EVER COMES UP TO YOU AND SAYS ANYTHING BAD,

SO YOU LEARN TO DISREGARD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS THAT YOU GET

BECAUSE THEY NEVER MEAN ANYTHING.

YEAH, GERMANY LOVES YOU.

OH. WHO, GEMMA?

GERMANY.

OH, GERMANY! THE ENTIRE COUNTRY?

ENTIRE COUNTRY.

GREAT. A LOT OF PEOPLE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I'D LOVE TO COME UP WITH AN IDEA

THAT PLEASED MULTITUDES

AND, YOU KNOW, HUGE SWARMS OF PEOPLE TURNED OUT

AND SAW THE PICTURE TWO AND THREE TIMES,

AND IT BROKE BOX OFFICE RECORDS,

BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S EVER GOING TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFETIME.

Tenenbaum: "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS" HAS GONE ON TO BE

THE LARGEST GROSSING MOVIE

THAT WOODY ALLEN HAS EVER HAD,

WORLDWIDE AS WELL AS IN AMERICA.

AT THE PRESENT TIME,

"MIDNIGHT IN PARIS" HAS CROSSED THE $50 MILLION MARK

IN BOX OFFICE.

WORLDWIDE, IT'S AT ABOUT $106 MILLION.

SO MY GUESS IS WE'LL BE WELL ABOVE $120,

$125 MILLION BEFORE WE'RE DONE.

Wilson: IT'S LIKE IT'S A SMASH.

IT'S LIKE HE'S MICHAEL BAY ALL OF A SUDDEN.

[ LAUGHS ]

I DON'T THINK HE HAS A GREAT EXPECTATION

OF HIS MOVIES ARE GOING TO, YOU KNOW, MAKE MUCH MONEY HERE.

I THINK A LOT OF IT'S THE TITLE.

HE SAID THAT HE CAME UP WITH THE TITLE "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS"

BEFORE HE HAD ANY STORY.

AND SO, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE LOVE, YOU KNOW, THAT CITY,

AND IT HAS SUCH A HOLD ON PEOPLE'S IMAGINATION.

AND IT'S GOTTEN SOME GOOD REVIEWS,

AND SO IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE TURNING OUT FOR THIS ONE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I...

I DID FEEL, FOR A MINUTE THERE WHILE I WAS DOING IT,

LIKE I WAS IMMORTAL.

BUT YOU LOOK SO SAD.

BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO MYSTERIOUS.

THIS IS THE TIME WE LIVE IN.

EVERYTHING MOVES SO FAST,

AND LIFE IS NOISY AND COMPLICATED.

Allen: IT'S A HAPPY ACCIDENT,

BECAUSE YOU TRY AND MAKE A GOOD FILM EVERY TIME OUT.

AND FOR SOME REASON, "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS"

WAS AFFECTIONATELY EMBRACED BY PEOPLE.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.

Aronson: I DO BELIEVE

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I'VE EVER KNOWN WOODY.

HE'S IN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, HE HAS TWO LOVELY CHILDREN,

HE'S VERY DEVOTED TO THEM.

HE SEEMS TO ENJOY HIS LIFE.

HE'S DOING THE WORK THAT HE LIKES.

THIS IS DEFINITELY THE HAPPIEST I'VE SEEN HIM.

I LOVE THAT HIS FATHER LIVED TO BE 100

AND HIS MOTHER LIVED TO BE 96,

BECAUSE HE'S CLEARLY TAKING GREAT CARE OF HIMSELF ANYWAY,

AND WITH THOSE KIND OF GENES, IT MEANS THAT WE MIGHT HAVE

WOODY ALLEN AT THE AGE OF 105 STILL MAKING A FILM A YEAR.

GLOOMY AS HE IS ABOUT THE PROSPECTS OF IMMORTALITY,

I THINK HE HAS A FAIR CHANCE,

WITH A HANDFUL OF OTHER FILMMAKERS OF ROUGHLY HIS TIME,

TO HAVE A NICE LITTLE PLACE IN HISTORY.

I HAVE REFERRED TO WOODY ALLEN IN THE PAST AS ALBERT CAMUS,

AS COMEDIAN.

CAMUS SAID, "I DO NOT WANT TO DIE.

"I DO NOT WANT ANYONE I LOVE TO DIE.

"I AM GOING TO DIE, AND EVERYONE I LOVE IS GOING TO DIE,

AND THAT MAKES LIFE ABSURD."

AND WOODY BELIEVES THAT, BUT HE'S ABLE TO WEAVE IN HUMOR.

NOW, I THINK IT PROBABLY DOES MAKE IT A BIT MORE PALATABLE.

BUT I WOULD WANT TO ASK HIM, IF LIFE REALLY IS ABSURD

AND HORRIBLE AND BRUTAL, WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?

BUT SHOULDN'T I STOP MAKING MOVIES

AND DO SOMETHING THAT COUNTS,

LIKE HELPING BLIND PEOPLE

OR BECOMING A MISSIONARY OR SOMETHING?

LET ME TELL YOU, YOU'RE NOT THE MISSIONARY TYPE.

YOU'D NEVER LAST.

AND INCIDENTALLY, YOU'RE ALSO NOT SUPERMAN.

YOU'RE A COMEDIAN.

YOU WANT TO DO MANKIND A REAL SERVICE?

TELL FUNNIER JOKES!

YEAH, BUT I-I'VE GOT TO FIND MEANING.

Allen: WHEN I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE,

I'VE BEEN VERY LUCKY THAT I'VE LIVED OUT

ALL THESE CHILDHOOD DREAMS.

I WANTED TO BE A MOVIE ACTOR, AND I BECAME ONE.

I WANTED TO BE A MOVIE DIRECTOR AND A COMEDIAN, I BECAME ONE.

I WANTED TO PLAY JAZZ IN NEW ORLEANS,

AND I PLAYED IN STREET PARADES AND JOINTS IN NEW ORLEANS

AND PLAYED IN OPERA HOUSES AND CONCERTS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

THERE WAS NOTHING IN MY LIFE THAT I ASPIRED TOWARD

THAT HASN'T COME THROUGH FOR ME.

BUT DESPITE ALL THESE LUCKY BREAKS,

WHY DO I STILL FEEL THAT I GOT SCREWED SOMEHOW?

[ LAUGHS ]