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1
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The land of the samurai.
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There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
3
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With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space
4
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and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.
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In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
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His name is Gintoki Sakata, a reckless Jack of All Trades with a sweet tooth.
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Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shinpachi Shimura, ended up working here.
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The three of us slice up a corrupt Edo.
9
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Wait, is that really the story?
10
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[Suspected for the bombing, the Odd Jobs gang are under police questioning.]
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[By the way this man is the "Boss", and he's holding a glass of brandy.]
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["Keep Your Promise Even If It Kills You"]
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[Oedo Police Station]
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Hey, hey, enough already.
15
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We had nothing to do with it, I'm telling you.
16
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I've told you that a million times.
17
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Some things never change.
18
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It's always the perpetrator who claims he had nothing to do it.
19
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How many times are you going to ask me?
20
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I've explained everything from the very beginning to the very end.
21
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Yeah, yeah. All the guilty ones say that.
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"My kid would never do that," or "I don't remember."
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You're just as hard to believe as the people who say those things, don't you think?
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Come on, confess already.
25
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We're not running a charity here, you know.
26
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Or is it that you guys think you'll get off if you keep holding out on us?
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Ain't gonna happen.
28
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I've had enough, you shithead!
29
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We're telling you, we're innocent!
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Quit wasting your breath and let us out of here right now!
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We have places to go!
32
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Violent Four-Eyes.
33
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Hey, his personality is changing!
34
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I risk my life getting rid of that bomb and they rake me over the coals for three days.
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Rotten cops!
36
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I think you've kept us long enough.
37
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Thanks to me, at least we're not on their most wanted list anymore.
38
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But why'd they release us after Shinpachi freaked out like that?
39
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Because they know someone normally docile is more difficult to deal with when they crack under the pressure.
40
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They piss me off.
41
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So piss on them.
42
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Okay, I'll puke on 'em.
43
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Stop that! This is TV! Control yourselves!
44
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There'll be no end to the number of times I'll be arrested if I hang around you guys.
45
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I'm going on home!
46
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Don't get lost on the way home, you morons!
47
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Hey, hey, we can't have an anime without a straight man.
48
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I don't have a choice then.
49
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I'll be the straight man this week.
50
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You...watch where you're puking!
51
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Whadda stench!
52
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Whadda stench!
53
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Hey...
54
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Stop him! He's an escaped convict.
55
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Phew!
56
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Yes?
57
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Stand back!
58
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Don't you care what happens to barf babe here?
59
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You scum!
60
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Just for today, I'm...
61
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Hey you, with the naturally wavy hair.
62
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Can you drive a car?
63
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Yeah.
64
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Damn it! Do you think you can get away with defying the law?!
65
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He's got me!
66
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I'm scared.
67
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I have no choice but to do as he says.
68
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Come on, come on, outta my way.
69
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After him! Don't let him get away!
70
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Well, that was exhilarating.
71
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But do you really think you can get away with this?
72
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Never mind. Just turn right.
73
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These days, escaping from prison is tougher than winning the lottery.
74
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I have no intention of getting away for good.
75
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Just for today. I'll be happy if I can be free for just one day today.
76
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Today, is a special day.
77
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A special day, eh?
78
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If you're captured immediately after breaking out of prison,
79
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it'll be a special day you'll never forget for the rest of your life.
80
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Step on it! I can't get caught now!
81
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As you wish. Boost!
82
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I'm a new teahouse maid, sir.
83
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So cute.
84
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Move, move, move!
85
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Pull over, damn it. You can't get away!
86
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Can't get away, you say?
87
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When you say that, it makes me want to prove you wrong!
88
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The suspect is heading for the Terminal Tower.
89
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Request a block at Moe Moe intersection.
90
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Ten-four.
91
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The road, it's...
92
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We're not done yet.
93
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Here goes...
94
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Go!
95
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We did it!
96
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We did it!
97
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Crap! A stroller!
98
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Pa.
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My son and I walk a path of darkness and evil.
100
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We are in a hurry, so allow us our leave.
101
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Damned wolf. Doesn't he know cars can't stop so quickly?
102
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There they are!
103
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Damn it!
104
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Hey, Pops.
105
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This way!
106
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Damn. Where'd they go?
107
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Find them! They couldn't have gone far.
108
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Hey, come on, wake up!
109
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It stinks!
110
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Why're you helping me?
111
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I'm not sure.
112
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It doesn't make sense. Now you're all wrapped up in this mess. And yet...
113
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Well, yeah, but part of it is that I hate the police.
114
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Maybe I just want to see you through
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your special day.
116
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We're almost there. Let's hurry!
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Right!
118
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Everybody...
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Thank you all for coming to my pooformance!
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Pooformance!
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Today, forget about your worldly cares, and just have fun, okay, necromancer!
122
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Necromancer!
123
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Okay, for my first song,
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"Your Father is Bleep-Bleep".
125
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Please enjoy!
126
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What the hell...is this?
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It's the first live performance by today's up-and-coming pop idol, Tsu Terakado.
128
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You jerk. Is this your idea of life?!
129
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You broke out of from prison for a pop idol?!
130
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You'd ruin your entire life for a moment's pleasure?
131
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That's the kind of the mentality that got you thrown in jail, you fool!
132
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It's precisely because I ruined my entire life for a moment's pleasure
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that I realize this an important moment that I can't miss.
134
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So come on, let's have fun! L-O-V-E O-tsu-u!
135
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L-O-V-E!
136
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I can't take any more. We're going home, Kagura.
137
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Aww, I wanna stay for more... son of whore.
138
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Don't let it influence you.
139
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This is like a cult.
140
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The air is rank with human stank.
141
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L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
142
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Louder!
143
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Okay!
144
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L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
145
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Hey, pay attention! Shout it out.
146
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Sorry, Chief!
147
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Hey, since when did you become their captain?
148
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I've been a captain of Otsu's fan club from the day I was born.
149
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Gyahh! Why're you here, Gin?
150
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That's what I'd like to know.
151
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You go for this teeny-bopper crap, too?
152
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How am I going to explain this to your sister?
153
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I can do whatever I like! I'm not a little kid!
154
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You there.
155
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Please don't leave your seat during the performance.
156
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:46,040
You're spoiling it for the rest of the audience.
157
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Sorry, Ms. Manager. I'll throw him out.
158
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Oh, you're from the fan club? No problem, then.
159
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Today is her first live show, so we have to make sure it's a success.
160
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L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
161
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L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
162
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You.
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We do-do!
164
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Everyone says it,
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but when the time comes, I just can't say it.
166
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Bleep-bleep! Bleep-bleep!
167
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Otsu Terakado's second single.
168
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" Your Father is Bleep-Bleep," in stores soon!
169
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If you don't buy it, I'll rip off your mole.
170
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I see.
171
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So you're Otsu's manager.
172
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The two of you, mother and daughter, made it this far.
173
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Impressive.
174
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Hearing that from you doesn't make me happy.
175
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I'm surprised you have the nerve to show your face after all this time.
176
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Aren't you still supposed to be in jail? Why are you even here?
177
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I've had it with you.
178
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I can see you haven't changed a bit.
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You live your life however you please,
180
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but do you ever think about the people who suffer for it? Like your daughter and me?
181
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For no other reason than being your daughter, Otsu's had to endure so much.
182
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Otsu, what's the key selling point of your second single, " Your Father is Bleep-Bleep"?
183
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I'd say it's the hidden meaning behind the "bleep-bleep."
184
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I'd be happy if you could appreciate its more mature implications.
185
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Tomorrow is your first solo concert, right?
186
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How're you feeling about that?
187
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I'll do my very best!
188
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Come to think of it, Otsu, your mother is your manager, isn't she?
189
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Yes.
190
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What does your father have to say about your concert?
191
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My father...
192
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Her father died. Thirteen years ago.
193
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Is that true, Otsu?
194
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It's your fault for making Otsu suffer like that.
195
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Just go away, please. And never come back.
196
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Don't force her to relive painful memories like
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the fact that her father is a murderer.
198
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Stick of gum?
199
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Why would I want a kiddy thing like that?
200
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The secret to enjoying life is to hold on to the kid inside you.
201
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Well, busting out of jail just to see your daughter's big moment on stage
202
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is something you can't do unless you're a childish idiot.
203
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That's not how it is, dumbass!
204
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I made a promise to her a long time ago.
205
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I want to be an idol ~ La-la-la-la...
206
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You must be my kid! A voice that awful has gotta be hereditary.
207
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Just you wait.
208
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I'll practice and get better, and then one day I'll be an idol singer.
209
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,910
If you can become a professional singer,
210
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then there's even hope for the crickets.
211
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:39,600
Shut up, you meanie!
212
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If I say I'll be an idol singer, then I will, I'm telling ya!
213
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How 'bout that!
214
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Well, listen, if you ever go pro...I'll bring a million roses to your first concert.
215
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:50,890
You absolutely mean that?
216
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Yeah, I promise.
217
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She's forgotten by now, I'm sure.
218
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That was thirteen years ago.
219
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Even if she still remembered, she wouldn't want to.
220
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Not when she knows her pop's a killer.
221
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No telling how much she's suffered because of me.
222
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She probably doesn't even want to see my face.
223
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I'm going back. Besides, I forgot to buy the roses.
224
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Sorry for all the trouble.
225
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Gin!
226
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:28,670
What's up?
227
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Some guest went kablooey and freaked!
228
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,980
Speak normally.
229
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I can't understand a word you're saying.
230
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In the concert hall. You see, there was an Amanto.
231
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And to make things worse,
232
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he was one of those Love-Cannibal-Clan Amanto that captures and feeds on the people he likes when he gets excited.
233
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L-O-V-E O-tsu-u!
234
00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:58,030
I can't control myself anymore!
235
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,080
And that's why I came to report it to you.
236
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,070
Why're you speaking standard Japanese now?
237
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:14,630
Chief! Member number 49 has gone berserk!
238
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,080
He was one of us?
239
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,850
I thought he was some kind of inflatable mascot!
240
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Stop it, you bastard!
241
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Otsu!
242
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I'm so hungry.
243
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Otsu. Become one with me...in my stomach.
244
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Oh no, Otsu's in danger!
245
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:42,200
Let's get out of here quickly, Otsu!
246
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,440
I can't. My legs won't move. What'll I do?
247
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,850
Wh-Who is that?!
248
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,520
Otsu, run away. Quick!
249
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Go! We've got to protect Otsu!
250
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:13,130
Hang in there!
251
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,180
Hang in there!
252
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:20,650
Ah, he's awake.
253
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What kind of nut are you? Pulling stunt like that?
254
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Uh...who are you?
255
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,150
Just a fan of yours.
256
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:42,980
Kagura!
257
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:46,000
Came to help. Four straight weeks at the top.
258
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:48,000
What're you doing?
259
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,010
That's what I want to ask you, Dining-kitchen.
260
00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:54,310
Gin!
261
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:57,950
Stop getting in my way!
262
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:02,300
It's time you left the building. All the yakiniku you can eat.
263
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:11,590
Hold it right there!
264
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:15,770
Otsu, I'll protect you! The Daruma rolls!
265
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,450
That guy...
266
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,660
Hey, old man.
267
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,730
That was all I could find.
268
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:48,630
It's not quite a million, so you'll really need to talk 'em up.
269
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,160
Bastard.
270
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:58,610
There's no way she'd remember that promise.
271
00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:07,990
But at this point, does it really matter if she remembers or not?
272
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,530
I'll keep my promise for myself.
273
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:19,920
Otsu!
274
00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:22,480
Take it all the way to the top.
275
00:20:26,210 --> 00:20:27,460
Um...
276
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,610
next time, bring roses, okay?
277
00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:37,150
Until then, I'll be waiting on the stage, Dad.
278
00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:48,390
Yo. Tearful parting go okay, pops?
279
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,200
Idiot. This ain't a farewell.
280
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,780
I'll come back to see you again for sure.
281
00:20:58,910 --> 00:21:04,240
Everyone! A lot's happened, but let's start over again! Figure-four lock.
282
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,250
Over again!
283
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:08,500
Okay, please listen.
284
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,930
I dedicate this song to my father.
285
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,610
"Your Father is Bleep-Bleep."
286
00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:17,290
Please listen. Indian Death Lock.
287
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:58,880
Next time, I'll come with my head held high.
288
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:05,050
[New Television Program]
289
00:24:00,460 --> 00:24:04,490
In Kabukicho, Japanese hosts are on the decline
290
00:24:04,490 --> 00:24:07,060
due to the emergence of good-looking foreign hosts.
291
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:12,290
But here are two men sporting their god-given gifts of blonde hair and butt-chin.
292
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,060
The mysterious vagabond, Kintoki Sakata,
293
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:17,670
and the former No. 1 host, the butt-chinned Shinpachi.
294
00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:20,890
Having gained a female Chinese Mafia boss as a their patron,
295
00:24:20,890 --> 00:24:24,070
the two men knife their way through the corrupt streets at night!
296
00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:27,470
A new show, "Kintama" starts next week!
297
00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:29,680
We're not even doing a show like that!
298
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:36,530
[Episode 1: "This isn't cosmetic surgery, I was born with a butt-chin."]
299
00:24:36,530 --> 00:24:39,910
[The real next episode trailer as follows. Stay tuned!!]
300
00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:43,830
[Preview]
301
00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:42,760
In Kabukicho, Japanese hosts are...
302
00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:45,330
Gin! Please be serious and tell us about the next episode!
303
00:24:45,330 --> 00:24:47,930
All right. Man, what a pain.
304
00:24:47,930 --> 00:24:53,250
The next episode: "Responsible Owners Should Clean Up After Their Pets."
305
00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:54,570
Clean up after your pet, for Chrissakes!
23125
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