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1
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_
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_
3
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Congratulations, sir...
it's eight puppies.
4
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,380
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,
5
00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,957
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.
6
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052
Excellent, eight purebred puppies
7
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,461
descended from the first litter
8
00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,222
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann himself.
9
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,299
Smithers,
you're in charge of their training.
10
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,635
Teach them all the classic commands.
11
00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:03,303
Sit, stay...
12
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,565
and bite striking workers
with your "wittle teefers."
13
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,958
Yes, Mr. Burns.
14
00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:10,143
And you've allowed the training dummies
15
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,053
to fall into terrible disrepair.
16
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,772
So I've ordered a new one.
17
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,390
Here he is now.
18
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,182
Um, I was told there'd be a taco truck?
19
00:01:18,217 --> 00:01:20,137
Don't worry,
their adult teeth haven't come in yet.
20
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,581
Just look out for their
much sharper baby teeth.
21
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,629
Hmm. Hmm.
22
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,075
Ah, I guess
"Executive Kennel Supervisor"
23
00:01:34,169 --> 00:01:36,169
is all I'll ever be to Mr. Burns.
24
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,171
Nothing... ow... worse... ow...
25
00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:40,324
than not being respected... ow...
26
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:41,749
at work! Ow!
27
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,605
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow.
28
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,608
Ow. Ow. Ow.
29
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,277
- Ow.
- Aw!
30
00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,010
Ah, the puppies are finally
31
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,436
murderous enough to be doled out
32
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,364
to my rich and powerful
allies who need watchdogs.
33
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:06,533
Now to look through the pile of bribes
34
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:10,184
and see who's begging hard
enough to earn a puppy.
35
00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:13,857
Warren Buffett sent this
box of broken wooden pieces.
36
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:15,175
Sir, that's a puzzle.
37
00:02:15,722 --> 00:02:16,726
It certainly is a puzzle.
38
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,975
What's his game,
sending me these misshapen bits?
39
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,204
Uh, well,
it's an activity people do for fun.
40
00:02:23,239 --> 00:02:25,277
With their friends.
Perhaps you and I could...
41
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,229
Perhaps you could stop
assuming familiarity
42
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,471
with your betters.
43
00:02:28,624 --> 00:02:30,232
Now de-gunk the puppies' eyes!
44
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,485
Oh, if only I'd been born
in a litter of puppies,
45
00:02:42,638 --> 00:02:44,729
then maybe someone would love me.
46
00:02:45,646 --> 00:02:46,790
Simpson!
47
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:51,494
Come on, Mr. Smithers,
you don't have to be lonely.
48
00:02:51,647 --> 00:02:53,496
You've totally got it going on.
49
00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:56,091
You've got that bow
tie and those glasses
50
00:02:56,318 --> 00:02:59,152
and that hunky nasal voice.
51
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,596
Oh, sadly,
the Springfield dating pool is
52
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,339
pretty bleak.
53
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,583
It's always guys who
don't want to commit,
54
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,178
or straight guys who are
going through a phase.
55
00:03:08,807 --> 00:03:10,087
Disco Stu is
56
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,423
hetero-flexible. Ooh!
57
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,259
I just want someone
to be there when I get home.
58
00:03:15,353 --> 00:03:18,095
Someone who loves me unconditionally.
59
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,097
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
60
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,192
It's the conditions that'll kill ya.
61
00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:25,507
Mr. Smithers,
I'm gonna find you a man-Marge.
62
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,748
Look at this guy... he seems perfect!
63
00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:28,873
That's me.
64
00:03:29,699 --> 00:03:32,586
Oh, yeah.
Well, it is a much younger picture.
65
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,780
Goodbye. Thank you for the oil.
66
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,023
I love it.
67
00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:38,282
Excellent.
68
00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:40,284
Well, that's the last of the litter.
69
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:43,196
Oh, except for you.
70
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,365
You're no killer, with those soft eyes
71
00:03:45,383 --> 00:03:46,958
and kind disposition.
72
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,677
You've brought shame to the
very notion of inbreeding.
73
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,128
Go on, bite him.
74
00:03:51,223 --> 00:03:53,398
Bite his doughy face.
75
00:03:56,378 --> 00:03:58,545
Who's gonna take you home?
76
00:03:58,714 --> 00:04:00,380
I hope they find you a dictator
77
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:01,990
who's as sweet as you are.
78
00:04:02,695 --> 00:04:05,760
Or... how about
a Fortune 500 fashion designer
79
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:09,146
who's already made a
matching suit for the puppy?
80
00:04:09,224 --> 00:04:12,000
Good muscle tone, needy,
with a slight drooling problem.
81
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:14,711
Reminds me of my last boyfriend.
82
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:18,840
His last girlfriend was a boy?
83
00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:22,301
Your last girlfriend was a boy?
84
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,591
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...
85
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,760
Negotiating the sale of
excess Kilowatt hours
86
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,187
to a Chinese server farm.
87
00:04:32,414 --> 00:04:35,098
- And you got a very good deal.
- Mm.
88
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,359
I also speak Mandarin.
I'm Michael de Graaf,
89
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:40,420
and I flew here from my villa
in Milan to claim this puppy.
90
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,590
I can offer Burns a priceless
Impressionist painting.
91
00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:46,593
Mr. Burns' collection
could use a Manet...
92
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:50,205
Well, I've got a Monet and a
guy who can change O's to A's.
93
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,615
Mm, Mr. Burns would never
know the difference.
94
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:55,693
He hates art...
he just wants to keep it out of museums.
95
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,243
But first I told him
you have some questions
96
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:01,572
about what the puppy's
looking for in a companion.
97
00:05:01,607 --> 00:05:04,093
Well, uh, this is an unusual Dobermann.
98
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:07,021
Uh, are you prepared
for a dog that's sweet,
99
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:10,132
maybe a little shy,
but just wants to give his heart
100
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,417
to someone who loves him?
101
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,586
He sounds like a dream come true.
102
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,697
Okay, the puppy's yours, Mr. de Graaf.
103
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,532
Please, it's Michael.
104
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:19,367
This calls for a celebration.
105
00:05:19,594 --> 00:05:21,185
Are you free for dinner tonight?
106
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,378
I'm sorry?
107
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:23,946
You're talented, smart as a whip,
108
00:05:24,099 --> 00:05:27,208
and hot in a 1960s Cape
Canaveral kind of way.
109
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:29,435
I'd love to take you on a date.
110
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,437
Well, I'd love...
111
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,007
to say yes!
112
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:39,629
I love this place! It's so old school.
113
00:05:39,781 --> 00:05:42,390
It reminds me of my childhood...
laminated menus,
114
00:05:42,617 --> 00:05:45,785
fossilized Parmesan, problematic murals.
115
00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:48,229
Welcome-a to Luigi's.
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00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:50,857
Italiana food for everybody.
117
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,735
I put a-salt and a-pepper on the table,
118
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,978
but for you, such a handsome couple,
119
00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:58,889
if you want-a pepper and-a pepper,
120
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,467
hey, that's a-wonderful, too!
121
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,414
Vintage vinyl.
122
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,416
Add some spikes to it,
and you've got half
123
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:10,309
of Vivienne Westwood's career.
124
00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:12,812
Okay, that was a fake laugh.
125
00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:15,665
I was afraid to admit I don't
know anything about fashion.
126
00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:18,259
Oh, that's so refreshing.
127
00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:20,987
People usually want to
date me to get into GQ,
128
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,540
meet Anna Wintour,
or co-parent Anderson Cooper's baby.
129
00:06:24,575 --> 00:06:26,601
I guess that was just Anderson Cooper.
130
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:30,688
Waylon, you are like
no one I've ever met.
131
00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:37,612
Mamma, no! God-a loves everybody!
132
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,010
But what about Uncle
Benito and the roommate
133
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,362
he always-a brings to Easter supper?
134
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:51,184
Mamma, no!
Do not put a hex on their ziti!
135
00:06:54,355 --> 00:06:56,297
_
136
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,860
People like me should spend
more time in flyover country,
137
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,045
see what America's really like.
138
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:05,640
More like fly-around country.
Planes won't go near us
139
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:08,643
because of all the teens
with laser pointers.
140
00:07:12,442 --> 00:07:13,797
It's a shame you have to leave tomorrow.
141
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:15,391
Oh, I'm canceling my flight.
142
00:07:15,912 --> 00:07:17,877
- Why?
- Because it would be much harder
143
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,989
to fall in love with you from Milan.
144
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,886
Homer, what happened?
145
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,738
I can feel it... my fix-up is working.
146
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:31,407
I changed the destiny
of two human beings.
147
00:07:31,559 --> 00:07:34,486
I am a gay matchmaking God!
148
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,896
What about some straight
matchmaking for us?
149
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,882
I'm a God, not a miracle worker.
150
00:07:45,849 --> 00:07:47,590
And he posted you on his Instagram?
151
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:50,426
Cute caption? Gay couple emoji?
152
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,669
I'm excited!
153
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,022
What was that?
154
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,581
Oh, just guy stuff.
155
00:07:55,674 --> 00:07:57,674
Smithers was updating
me on his boyfriend.
156
00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,676
- Boyfriend?
- Yeah, no big deal.
157
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:02,513
I kind of fixed Smithers
up with a dude I know.
158
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,032
Now they're going steady. No big deal.
159
00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,350
Wait, wait, I just have one question.
160
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,277
Can I ask you a thousand questions?
161
00:08:08,371 --> 00:08:10,747
Sorry, Marge, late for work.
162
00:08:13,768 --> 00:08:15,768
Tell me everything!
163
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,212
Um, they've been dating
for six weeks or so.
164
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,380
You probably don't even know him.
165
00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:20,773
He's some fashion designer guy.
166
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,124
Michael de Graaf.
167
00:08:22,277 --> 00:08:23,384
What?
168
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:26,431
Smithers is dating Michael de Graaf,
169
00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:29,706
the judge on seasons ten through
15 of America's Got Fabric?
170
00:08:30,101 --> 00:08:32,918
He has my favorite catchphrase!
171
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:35,345
Now, that is avant-gorgeous.
172
00:08:35,439 --> 00:08:37,531
Oh, my God, honey, you got catchphrased.
173
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,943
And he's even more famous
for his savage zings.
174
00:08:41,112 --> 00:08:43,262
I don't know.
It's a little Sex and the City.
175
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,707
If there were no sex and
the city was Milwaukee.
176
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:51,045
They dress so bad in Milwaukee.
177
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:52,195
I assume.
178
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:53,215
Hmm?
179
00:08:56,219 --> 00:08:58,444
I have to meet Michael de Graaf!
180
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:01,204
Okay, okay.
When they come back from their trip.
181
00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:03,949
Ooh, whisked off by a billionaire.
182
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:06,394
How romantic. Where did they go?
183
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,045
Well, Smithers says they're
too young for Provincetown,
184
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:10,973
too monogamous for Fire Island
185
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,792
and you know how Waylon
gets in Palm Springs.
186
00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:14,902
No, I don't!
187
00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:17,446
I don't know anything!
188
00:09:22,319 --> 00:09:23,577
Yeah, it's pretty sweet
189
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,563
to completely alter the
course of people's lives.
190
00:09:26,641 --> 00:09:28,565
If it goes great, I'm a genius.
191
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:29,658
If it goes south,
192
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,994
I just turn off my phone.
193
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:35,330
Ah, a beautiful resort,
194
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:36,757
a turquoise ocean.
195
00:09:36,984 --> 00:09:38,651
The only thing missing
is Christine Baranski
196
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,152
singing "Dancing Queen."
197
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:42,504
I thought you might say that.
198
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,010
♪ Friday night and
the lights are low ♪
199
00:09:48,162 --> 00:09:51,922
♪ Looking out for a place to go ♪
200
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:54,090
Oh, my God! How much did that cost?
201
00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:55,443
Less than you might think.
202
00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:57,686
- Oh, and I got you something else.
- Oh.
203
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,188
I call it the Waylon.
204
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,765
Like you,
it's sophisticated yet playful,
205
00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:03,842
as blue and sparkling as your eyes.
206
00:10:03,861 --> 00:10:05,360
Okay, I've got to go.
207
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:08,847
I'm helping a 13-year-old
boy come out to his parents.
208
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:11,200
To Jacksonville!
209
00:10:11,352 --> 00:10:16,522
♪ Digging the dancing queen...! ♪
210
00:10:18,526 --> 00:10:19,858
_
211
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:22,261
Sorry I'm late, sir.
212
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,530
A-And sorry I wasn't
available this weekend.
213
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,289
Or last weekend. I was...
214
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:27,624
You were gone?
215
00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:29,384
Who cares? I figured it out.
216
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:31,312
These pieces are designed to interlock.
217
00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:33,296
But to what purpose?
218
00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:34,707
Sir, it is a puzzle.
219
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:36,041
Not for long, man.
220
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,985
Monty Burns is on the case.
221
00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:42,573
The obvious first step is to
sort every piece by weight.
222
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:47,828
Waylon!
223
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:50,723
Marge? Why are you
in the executive parking lot?
224
00:10:50,741 --> 00:10:51,815
Who cares?
225
00:10:51,909 --> 00:10:54,226
Tell me all about Michael de Graaf!
226
00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:57,396
Well, Michael's kind of perfect.
227
00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:59,231
Attentive, treats me like an equal,
228
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,916
has never trap-doored
an entire Girl Scout troop
229
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:02,401
because they were out of Thin Mints.
230
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,254
I mean, it's nice to finally
be in love with someone...
231
00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:07,848
- good.
- I'm dying to meet him.
232
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,909
What if we threw you two a party?
233
00:11:10,928 --> 00:11:12,594
A party. That's what people do
234
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,688
when they finally have
something worth celebrating.
235
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,915
- Let's do it!
- Yes!
236
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,752
This makes me part of
your couple origin story.
237
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:20,853
I'm in!
238
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,592
Just what I always wanted for him,
239
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,685
a handsome billionaire boyfriend.
240
00:11:28,779 --> 00:11:30,037
So happy.
241
00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:32,689
Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf,
242
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,267
we love your wicked zingers on the show.
243
00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:36,310
Could you?
244
00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:37,411
My pleasure.
245
00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:39,288
Wow, it was so kind of Estelle Getty
246
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,198
to donate her wardrobe for your
production of The Crucible.
247
00:11:43,277 --> 00:11:45,778
Hello and welcome to Grey Gardens.
248
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,704
At least those ladies had a look.
249
00:11:47,723 --> 00:11:49,557
You have a "don't look."
250
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:52,593
Do you like my top?
251
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,044
Yes, I love the shoulder pads.
252
00:11:54,212 --> 00:11:56,972
Is something I would have said in the
'90s but not about that.
253
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,566
Do you like my top?
254
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,818
Yes. He seems very nice.
255
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,071
Is it wrong to enjoy being envied?
256
00:12:04,222 --> 00:12:06,315
Because I am savoring it.
257
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,817
When did you first realize
that Homer was the one,
258
00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,819
the great love of your life?
259
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:13,396
Well, after he got me pregnant,
260
00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:16,417
I just knew he was someone
I was gonna have kids with.
261
00:12:16,644 --> 00:12:18,143
Aw. Mwah.
262
00:12:18,236 --> 00:12:20,737
Young lady,
I like your quirky fashion sense.
263
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,998
That zigzag dress hem is everything.
264
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:25,984
Thanks, but I don't really
pay attention to fashion.
265
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,987
It doesn't seem... super important.
266
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,414
I'd like to suggest some alterations.
May I?
267
00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:34,509
I mean, it's a waste of your time,
but fine.
268
00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:37,255
Wearing the same thing
every day is a choice,
269
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,681
so I can free up my mind to
think about important things,
270
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,758
rather than "Am I on trend?"
271
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,777
Ha, whatever that means.
272
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,687
You know who didn't care about fashion?
273
00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:47,114
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
274
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,830
She slapped on a doily
and that was enough.
275
00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:52,527
This obsession with
appearance in our culture...
276
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:54,461
Did you make me taller?
277
00:12:54,496 --> 00:12:55,963
I feel so confident.
278
00:12:55,998 --> 00:12:59,184
I don't even have a job,
but I'm going to ask for a raise.
279
00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,297
A toast to our hosts.
280
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:04,873
And to Marge's hair,
281
00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:07,283
which is avant-gorgeous.
282
00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:08,710
Oh!
283
00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:10,471
And I want you to be
the first to hear...
284
00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,865
I've decided to manufacture
my new retail line
285
00:13:12,883 --> 00:13:14,383
right here in Springfield,
286
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:17,703
in the factory that used
to make fidget spinners.
287
00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:19,221
Spin-ners!
288
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,874
And if anyone needs a job,
there are applications
289
00:13:21,892 --> 00:13:25,560
right next to the best
coleslaw I've ever had.
290
00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:27,154
Ooh-hoo!
291
00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:31,900
Mamma, everyone is-a happy.
292
00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:35,162
Why are you so against this-a love? Why?
293
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:36,722
I hate...
294
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,315
because I hate-a myself!
295
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,060
I... I love-a the women.
296
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,338
No, Mamma, you are beautiful.
297
00:13:44,565 --> 00:13:47,174
You love-a the women,
and I love-a the you.
298
00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:53,588
I had a pillow of-a Gina Lollobrigida
299
00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,073
that I used to, oh...
300
00:13:57,261 --> 00:13:59,978
Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma!
301
00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:04,091
Look, it's Michael's new factory!
302
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,475
So modern.
303
00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:06,735
Can we look inside?
304
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,887
Yeah, do you know
anybody that works there?
305
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,573
Ha, well, they hired
most of the desperate saps
306
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,982
who've been unemployed forever.
307
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:14,484
So, yeah, I'm friends with all of 'em.
308
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:17,671
This week's trend is
glitter on sunglasses.
309
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:19,548
So we got right on it.
310
00:14:28,183 --> 00:14:30,425
What happens to all the toxic stuff?
311
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:32,811
It gets off-glittered
through the chimney.
312
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,420
Hey, look at me, I'm a working stiff!
313
00:14:42,439 --> 00:14:45,090
Very stiff. These chemicals
are giving me a condition
314
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:48,285
my doctor calls "living rigor mortis."
315
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,245
_
316
00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:54,524
No wonder fast fashion
is so inexpensive.
317
00:14:54,618 --> 00:14:56,877
This place is terrible
for the environment.
318
00:14:57,028 --> 00:14:58,620
And it's a sweatshop!
319
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:01,715
No, sweetie, it's a sweatpants shop.
320
00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:05,052
Which are made with Lycra,
which leaches into the sea.
321
00:15:05,203 --> 00:15:08,055
Our oceans are now ten percent spandex.
322
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:10,223
Well, then they'll fit
the Earth more snugly.
323
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:11,892
Dad, how can Michael allow this?
324
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,803
I thought gay people were
supposed to be better than us.
325
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,045
You mean our boss?
326
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,164
He knows.
327
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:20,600
_
328
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,737
No. Michael's the
perfect guy for Smithers.
329
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,721
I picked him out!
330
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:27,390
I fixed them up!
331
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:31,244
My gay matchmaking reputation is ruined!
332
00:15:31,471 --> 00:15:33,872
The human suffering is bad, too.
333
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,830
How do I tell Smithers
that the love of his life
334
00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:43,406
is running a sweatshop?
335
00:15:43,425 --> 00:15:45,474
Hey, look, you tried to play God,
336
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,614
and now, like God,
337
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:50,488
you get to stand back and laugh
at all the losers' suffering.
338
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,157
Ha-ha.
339
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,767
Ah, losers.
340
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:57,604
Oh, who knew gay relationships
could be complicated?
341
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:02,758
Man, tough day on the line.
342
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:07,096
Another guy lost an arm to
the spaghetti strap slicer.
343
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,357
Oh, I don't feel so good.
344
00:16:09,451 --> 00:16:12,844
I think I spent too much
time in the tie-dye chamber.
345
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,105
You think that's bad?
346
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,875
I got to go break a guy's heart.
347
00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,278
There he is!
348
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:23,779
The man who showed me that love is real
349
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:26,691
and there is a man at
the end of the rainbow.
350
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:30,303
Oof. Speaking of showing
you things you didn't know,
351
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:32,848
look what his factory's
done to Lake Springfield.
352
00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:35,867
Wha...?
353
00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:38,203
It's gone plaid.
354
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,296
M-Michael must have an explanation.
355
00:16:40,315 --> 00:16:41,397
He-He's a good man.
356
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:43,041
Uh, I just need advice
357
00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:44,818
from someone who understands
the ethical challenges
358
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,878
faced by business leaders.
359
00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:50,215
Smithers, I've made amazing progress.
360
00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:52,217
By giving this enigma
my undivided attention,
361
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:55,069
I've proven conclusively
these pieces form...
362
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,979
a secret image.
363
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,556
I can't believe I'm asking you this,
364
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:01,559
but I-I have a question about, uh...
365
00:17:01,578 --> 00:17:02,669
my love life.
366
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:04,838
Indeed. Tell me about the lucky lady.
367
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,247
- Man.
- Oh. What's her...
368
00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:07,415
- His.
- ...name?
369
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:09,992
- Michael.
- Michelle. Such a lovely name.
370
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:11,160
And, uh, what does she...
371
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:12,328
- He.
- ...do?
372
00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:13,571
Well, that's just it, sir.
373
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,498
He's the CEO of a major company.
374
00:17:15,592 --> 00:17:17,258
He's wonderful to me, but I-I'm worried
375
00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:20,245
he might ruthlessly care
about nothing but profit.
376
00:17:20,263 --> 00:17:21,688
Ooh, don't tell me,
377
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,172
is it Sheryl Sandberg?
378
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:24,691
No, it's Michael de Graaf.
379
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:27,085
Michael de Graaf? Smithers, you fool.
380
00:17:27,178 --> 00:17:28,586
Marry that man right now.
381
00:17:28,605 --> 00:17:31,923
- What?
- So you have to pretend to be gay... who cares?
382
00:17:31,942 --> 00:17:33,274
He's a billionaire.
383
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,285
Come, you must see.
384
00:17:36,112 --> 00:17:37,579
A denim fire?
385
00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:40,540
De Graaf's discovered the secret.
386
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:44,102
Fast fashion is far more
toxic than nuclear power.
387
00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:47,196
- It's worse?
- Nuclear energy gives people warmth and light.
388
00:17:47,257 --> 00:17:50,108
This guy is profiting off
a product nobody needs:
389
00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:52,794
a constant stream of
brand-new skinnied jeans
390
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,222
and be-cropped tops.
391
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,850
Look what they've done to Blinky.
392
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,897
Our toxins may have created
the three-eyed fish,
393
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:05,623
but we never managed to kill it.
394
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,767
You've got yourself one hell of a guy.
395
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,445
Don't let him slip away.
396
00:18:17,687 --> 00:18:19,320
I always thought
a Chernobyl in Springfield
397
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,322
would be caused by my horrible boss,
398
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,541
not my perfect boyfriend.
399
00:18:41,212 --> 00:18:42,894
Something's clogging the engine!
400
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:45,246
My God, it's loungewear.
401
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:47,715
Loungewear!
402
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:53,012
Michael, your factory is
literally a toxic workplace.
403
00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,422
Don't worry, sweetie.
404
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:56,832
I've got an amazing
crisis management company.
405
00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:58,743
They're the ones who squelched the story
406
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:01,771
that Peloton seats are
made from dolphin faces.
407
00:19:04,732 --> 00:19:06,083
If I'm making clothes
408
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:08,010
for Tommy Target and Wendy Walmart,
409
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,195
they have to be cheap.
410
00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:10,438
Because in fast fashion,
411
00:19:10,532 --> 00:19:12,681
whoever cuts the most corners wins.
412
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:16,202
I can't believe I
fell in love with a monster.
413
00:19:16,353 --> 00:19:19,931
Really? It seems to me that you
have a pretty consistent type.
414
00:19:19,945 --> 00:19:20,946
Ah.
415
00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:23,358
Exquisite.
416
00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:24,526
Is that acid?
417
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:26,379
No, molten sports bra.
418
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,789
Waylon, you deserve Milan, Paris,
419
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:31,384
at the very least,
a town with a Chipotle.
420
00:19:31,611 --> 00:19:33,444
I love that you care about what's right,
421
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,722
but, for once, do what's right for you.
422
00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:38,616
Come away with me and be adored.
423
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,769
Adored would be a nice change.
424
00:19:45,808 --> 00:19:48,309
To seeing the best in each other
425
00:19:48,403 --> 00:19:50,385
and ignoring everything else.
426
00:19:50,405 --> 00:19:52,646
I'll drink to that.
427
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,298
Ooh! Idiot!
428
00:19:54,317 --> 00:19:58,060
These pants are made of
cashmere and shredded Picassos.
429
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:10,097
Buck up, pal.
430
00:20:10,149 --> 00:20:12,166
Beautiful jet-setting gay billionaires
431
00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:14,093
are a dime a dozen in this town.
432
00:20:14,902 --> 00:20:16,578
It's gonna take some
time to get over Michael.
433
00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:19,289
But I did get one thing
out of the relationship.
434
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:22,343
Someone to be there when I come home,
435
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:25,012
who will love me unconditionally.
436
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:30,610
You're the one hound I'll never release.
437
00:20:34,231 --> 00:20:37,395
_
438
00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:54,950
The last piece.
You will reveal your secrets to me.
439
00:20:55,044 --> 00:20:57,878
Good Lord!
All this time, it was a hot-air balloon!
440
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:59,955
Yes, sir,
just like the picture on the box.
441
00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:02,716
There was a picture?
Well, that could have saved me months!
442
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:04,718
Oh, well. Now I can get back
to crushing unions,
443
00:21:04,813 --> 00:21:06,887
fouling the air and
garbaging the Pacific.
444
00:21:07,598 --> 00:21:08,648
Sir, before you do that,
445
00:21:08,799 --> 00:21:10,483
maybe you'd like to try another puzzle?
446
00:21:10,634 --> 00:21:11,709
This one's a little harder.
447
00:21:11,802 --> 00:21:13,802
It's a hundred pieces, and, uh,
448
00:21:13,896 --> 00:21:15,563
two of the unicorns look pretty similar.
449
00:21:15,715 --> 00:21:17,806
Clear my calendar! Lock the door!
450
00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:19,325
Turn up the Wagner.
451
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,780
Shh!
452
00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:37,422
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