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1
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_
2
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_
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Am I the only one who thinks
it's weird that a strange circus
4
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just appeared out of nowhere?
5
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Oh, come on, Lisa. You love circuseses.
6
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I hate them.
7
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I've literally gotten three shut down
8
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just in the past year.
9
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Yes, but this one's
only exploiting people.
10
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I want to see the dog-faced man.
11
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And the man-faced dog.
12
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Who walks who?
13
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Mom, surely you're not...
14
00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:38,144
Step right up and see
Pint-Sized Hercules,
15
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the world's strongest boy.
16
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He's got tiny little abs.
17
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I'm sorry, but you're fired.
18
00:00:48,974 --> 00:00:51,750
Times have changed.
You're just not the draw you used to be.
19
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,478
You're got fewer tattoos
than the average chef.
20
00:00:54,496 --> 00:00:56,329
Uh, yes, but mine are...
21
00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,573
Mystical portals to
an alternate reality.
22
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,650
Look, if kids want mystical portals,
23
00:01:00,652 --> 00:01:01,985
they'll look at their phones.
24
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Hand over your freak
badge and your tattoo gun.
25
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Excuse me.
26
00:01:12,331 --> 00:01:14,664
How much to see the Illustrated Man?
27
00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:16,942
Forget it, kid. I'm retired.
28
00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,426
Okay, best of luck to you.
29
00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:20,094
Oh, you don't give up, do you?
30
00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:21,838
All right, have a seat.
31
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If you stare at one of
my tattoos long enough,
32
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it tells a story...
33
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:31,707
strange and unusual.
34
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How long does it take?
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It's a miracle! Give it two seconds.
36
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Strange and unusual.
37
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What the...?
38
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Hello? Lady?
39
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Is someone down there?
40
00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:02,529
Aw, gee whiz, she's buried alive.
41
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Hang in there, lady. I'll get help.
42
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,330
Mom, Dad,
there's a screaming woman in the woods,
43
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and she's buried alive.
44
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We got to dig her out.
45
00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:16,226
Calm down, noisy pants.
46
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You know your father only
has a two-hour lunch break.
47
00:02:19,731 --> 00:02:22,065
But she's screaming for help.
48
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Speaking of screaming women,
49
00:02:23,402 --> 00:02:25,919
I heard that Luann Van Houten
50
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got into a row with Miss Hoover
51
00:02:27,865 --> 00:02:31,183
for telling everyone
that Luann dyes her hair.
52
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She's got enough trouble
53
00:02:32,578 --> 00:02:34,686
married to a dead-end
dipstick like Kirk.
54
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Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am.
The lady's gonna run out of air.
55
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I used to work with that
loser at Double Beef Burger.
56
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They play their jingle all day long.
57
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,938
Now, how did that go?
58
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Who cares about burger jingles?
59
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She's gonna die!
60
00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:53,038
I think we all know this is
another one of your famous fibs.
61
00:02:53,115 --> 00:02:54,598
Yeah, like that time you said
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there was a boy in
the woods crying wolf,
63
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and when we got there,
there was no boy at all.
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Just a fat wolf.
65
00:03:03,873 --> 00:03:06,101
Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up.
66
00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:13,841
Milhouse, what are you doing?
67
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Just playing a game on my phone.
68
00:03:16,421 --> 00:03:17,845
Listen to me, there's a screaming woman
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00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:20,198
buried in the woods,
and I need your help digging her up.
70
00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,700
No can do, Bart.
71
00:03:21,776 --> 00:03:23,109
I'm at my grandma's.
72
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Had my calls forwarded.
73
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I won't be back for another three days.
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We can play the screaming
woman game then.
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It's not a game!
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00:03:32,207 --> 00:03:35,213
Ugh. I lost all my high scores.
77
00:03:37,275 --> 00:03:40,626
All right, I'll just check
every house in the neighborhood
78
00:03:40,703 --> 00:03:43,871
until I find the one
that's missing a lady.
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00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,065
Oh, hi, Mrs. Van Houten.
80
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Never mind. Glad you're not in a hole.
81
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,643
Is something the matter, Bart?
82
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,462
There's a screaming woman
buried in the woods,
83
00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:00,964
but everyone thinks I'm lying.
84
00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:04,150
A screaming woman?
That does sound serious.
85
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,301
You believe me?
86
00:04:05,303 --> 00:04:07,595
Of course. Why not come inside
87
00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:11,082
and tell me more over
a nice glass of milk?
88
00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:12,475
Thanks, but we should hurry.
89
00:04:12,494 --> 00:04:13,918
I don't think she has much time left.
90
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:18,423
Time enough for one more
glass of milk, I bet.
91
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,967
I shouldn't. Milk makes me sleepy.
92
00:04:23,321 --> 00:04:24,821
Milhouse should be home soon.
93
00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:27,098
Uh, he's with his hula hoop tutor.
94
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,509
I thought he was at his grandmother's?
95
00:04:29,585 --> 00:04:32,145
Oh. Whatever gave you that idea?
96
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,381
_
97
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,858
Bottoms up.
98
00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:42,781
Now, you must be ready for a nap.
99
00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:46,843
No... I have to save...
100
00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:48,745
...the lady.
101
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,273
Nighty-night.
102
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:54,125
Must stay awake.
103
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,363
Lady! Are you still alive down there?
104
00:05:07,382 --> 00:05:09,382
Give me a sign, please.
105
00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:11,643
You can't be dead. You can't.
106
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:14,053
I'm sorry, lady. I tried.
107
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:17,464
The one time I'm not lying to
make other people look stupid
108
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,226
for believing me,
and no one will believe me.
109
00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:22,136
♪ The beefiest beef
eats other beef... ♪
110
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Wait, are you... singing?
111
00:05:25,383 --> 00:05:28,201
♪ The beefiest beef
eats other beef ♪
112
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,903
♪ Double Beef Burgers'
beef-fed beef. ♪
113
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,905
You just sang our old burger jingle.
114
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How could you possibly know it?
115
00:05:35,393 --> 00:05:37,560
Because the screaming
woman just sang it to me.
116
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:40,338
That's no screaming woman...
117
00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,656
...it's a screaming Kirk.
118
00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,917
I was wondering when you were
gonna finish that thought.
119
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,215
Oh, thank you, Bart. Oh, you saved me.
120
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:52,925
Is this the woman who buried you?
121
00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,836
He let Miss Hoover see
him buying my hair dye.
122
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:58,764
The shame. What choice did I have?
123
00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:01,508
Uh, she's got a point.
Here in the 1950s,
124
00:06:01,586 --> 00:06:03,769
murder is much more socially acceptable
125
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:05,938
than, uh, you know, divorce.
126
00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:08,591
- You're free to go.
- A-Are you mad at me?
127
00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:10,943
Kind of seem like you're mad at me.
128
00:06:10,945 --> 00:06:14,855
Oh, honey, we'll never doubt you again.
129
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,282
Really?
130
00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:17,709
Lisa's a communist.
131
00:06:17,785 --> 00:06:19,860
Mm. Take her away, Chief.
132
00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:27,826
Wow, your tattoos really are magic.
133
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,036
What's that one about?
134
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:31,614
Uh, that one tells a story
of a brief period
135
00:06:31,616 --> 00:06:33,540
where I was very into the band Sublime.
136
00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,810
This one does something.
137
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,624
Item 22 on the agenda,
138
00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:43,401
preparations for flag day.
139
00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:44,885
Yeah, it's seven months away.
140
00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,963
And we are woefully behind.
141
00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:49,982
I'd like to get your opinion
on some bunting samples.
142
00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:51,634
Oh, kill me.
143
00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,728
Now, uh, the price per yard
on this one is a bit high,
144
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,657
but the drape will make it
the comeliest thing on a pole
145
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,492
you've ever seen.
146
00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:01,661
You know you're a tragic figure?
147
00:07:01,737 --> 00:07:04,071
Like Hamlet if he was
boring and a principal
148
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,165
and a... and an idiot.
149
00:07:15,338 --> 00:07:17,602
Another Gallo, barkeep.
150
00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:20,329
Uh-uh, leave the box.
151
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:22,573
Hey, pal.
You don't look like the kind of guy
152
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,490
who drinks alone just for the fun of it.
153
00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:25,334
What's eating at you?
154
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:28,412
Have you ever been forced
to spend all of your time
155
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,489
with someone whose very existence
156
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:33,392
just sucks the will to
live right out of you?
157
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,772
What if I told you
today's modern science
158
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:40,333
has a solution to that very problem?
159
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,609
Come with me.
160
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,022
How is this possible?
He-he looks just like you.
161
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,524
Not he, it.
162
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,843
It's an exact robot replica of me.
163
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,162
A very hush-hush new technology.
164
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,663
_
165
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,106
How do they work?
166
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,109
They're full of gears. Hundreds of 'em.
167
00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:02,371
Gears, of course,
but you made a mechanical doppelganger
168
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,207
of yourself just to hang
out with your best friend?
169
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,469
Uh, well,
Lenny's really into jigsaw puzzles,
170
00:08:08,546 --> 00:08:10,454
and I am not.
171
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,955
So, whenever he breaks one out,
172
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,716
I send in Robot Carl.
173
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,645
Call that number and start
living your best life.
174
00:08:21,392 --> 00:08:24,710
My, my, you are quite the me.
175
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,155
Now, h-how does one power you up?
176
00:08:27,231 --> 00:08:30,065
Well, I do enjoy a good cup
of coffee in the morning.
177
00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:33,143
Oh, as do I.
Nature's pipe cleaner, I call it.
178
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,496
But you would know that, uh, being me,
179
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,390
only in robot form, of course.
180
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:41,002
Yes, quite.
A-And you the human me, as it were.
181
00:08:41,078 --> 00:08:43,245
- Indeed. Yes.
- Very good.
182
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,080
- Well, there you have it.
- Have it, we do.
183
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:46,248
So, how can I help?
184
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,010
I like a man who gets
right to the point.
185
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,327
I know you do.
186
00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:51,404
Ah, yes, you would.
187
00:08:51,422 --> 00:08:52,738
Well, eh, shall we?
188
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,849
Lead the way.
189
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,503
Mm...
190
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,580
Hmm...
191
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,524
Have a good day, Superintendent.
192
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,526
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
193
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:08,362
I don't think my
programming would allow it.
194
00:09:15,112 --> 00:09:18,289
What are you doing here?
I... I just saw you at the school.
195
00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:29,866
How... how are there two of you?
196
00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:32,887
I ordered a robot me
197
00:09:32,964 --> 00:09:34,889
so I wouldn't have to be
around you anymore.
198
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:37,466
What? You don't Robot-Skinner me,
199
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,393
I Robot-Chalmers you.
200
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,211
You're the annoying one.
201
00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:42,638
And you're the mean one.
202
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,548
Oh, you'd yell your name at you
203
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,625
if you had to deal with you, too.
204
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:49,886
I would find myself highly tolerable.
205
00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:52,222
Guy from the bar that night,
thank God I found you.
206
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,317
You got to destroy that
robot before it's too late.
207
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,652
What's wrong with the robots?
208
00:09:56,727 --> 00:09:57,728
I don't know what happened.
209
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,321
Something with the gears, maybe.
210
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,249
Good God.
211
00:10:01,325 --> 00:10:03,642
Robot Carl started thinking for himself,
212
00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:05,494
and it wasn't pretty.
213
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,089
Last night, the robot tells me
he planned a trip
214
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,999
to Niagara Falls for him and Lenny.
215
00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:11,425
Well, that sounds like fun,
216
00:10:11,502 --> 00:10:15,504
so I says, "I'm going
because I'm the real Carl."
217
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,823
And then he starts crying,
218
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,416
which they ain't supposed to do.
219
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,494
But when I tried to
shove him in his crate,
220
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,420
that wind-up dingus fought back
221
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,772
with robot super strength.
222
00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:27,275
So I did the only thing I could.
223
00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:31,112
You got to act fast.
224
00:10:31,188 --> 00:10:33,506
Once the robots start feeling emotions,
225
00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:35,741
there's no telling what could happen.
226
00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:41,530
Uh, children,
we have recently become aware
227
00:10:41,532 --> 00:10:43,882
of an extraordinary human concept.
228
00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:45,792
It's called friendship.
229
00:10:45,794 --> 00:10:47,645
Dear God, emotions.
230
00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,054
We're too late.
231
00:10:49,056 --> 00:10:51,373
In order to promote friend-making,
232
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:53,633
students are encouraged
to call their teachers
233
00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:55,711
by their first names.
234
00:10:55,713 --> 00:10:56,820
First-name-calling?
235
00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,155
No, that can only lead to
236
00:10:58,232 --> 00:10:59,973
the breakdown of the social order.
237
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,717
Wanton high-fiving.
238
00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:03,810
T-shirts worn as real shirts.
239
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,979
Well, let's give it a try, shall we?
240
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,223
Hello, Seymour.
241
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:09,649
Howdy, Gary...
242
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,343
You like feelings, huh?
How does my fist feel?
243
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,605
Go back to hell, you bionic bastard.
244
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,028
This is the best assembly ever!
245
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:40,013
Don't shoot!
246
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,256
I'm the real Chalmers.
247
00:11:41,258 --> 00:11:42,941
He's lying. Shoot him.
248
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,276
Shoot the one on the left.
249
00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:45,703
- Right.
- Left. - Right.
250
00:11:45,779 --> 00:11:47,596
- Left.
- Right. - Left.
251
00:11:47,598 --> 00:11:50,624
Shoot 'em both.
It's the only way to be sure.
252
00:11:52,603 --> 00:11:55,120
Look, look, we were wrong to play God.
253
00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:58,048
But if there's anything I
have learned from all of this,
254
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,551
other than don't make
robots of yourself,
255
00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,202
it's that I could afford
256
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,972
to be a little bit nicer to you,
Seymour.
257
00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:08,041
Skinner!
258
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,893
He's obviously the robot!
259
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,730
Shoot him! God, you're an idiot!
260
00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:16,400
I know the real Chalmers
when I hear him.
261
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,464
No!
262
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,745
I forgive you, Seymour.
263
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,154
I know that you'll...
264
00:12:29,306 --> 00:12:31,139
you'll plan a wonderful...
265
00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:34,168
flag day...
266
00:12:36,497 --> 00:12:37,980
Haw-haw!
267
00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:40,257
Um, I couldn't help but notice
268
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:43,652
some lovely bunting
samples in your office.
269
00:12:43,654 --> 00:12:45,170
Perhaps you could, uh...
270
00:12:45,247 --> 00:12:47,097
walk me through them?
271
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,476
I'd like that, Gary.
272
00:12:56,247 --> 00:12:59,220
- Well, it's 9:00, so...
- Please don't go.
273
00:12:59,304 --> 00:13:01,761
Let me spin just one more tale
274
00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:04,339
of the strange and fantastical.
275
00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:07,433
Cast your gaze,
just above my hernia scar,
276
00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:11,346
and travel to a chillingly
plausible future.
277
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:13,590
Firemen.
278
00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,300
We have a report
279
00:13:15,352 --> 00:13:17,377
of subversive content in this house.
280
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:29,047
Step away from the
lowbrow entertainment.
281
00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:30,915
I'm sorry, I was just curious.
282
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,458
It won't happen again.
283
00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:33,626
Yeah...
284
00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:36,355
Not after a little reeducation,
it won't.
285
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,217
Homer, hurry,
the new episode of Robber Barons
286
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,643
is about to start.
287
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,647
The very idea,
an elevated train under the ground?
288
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,909
I require no crystal ball
to see that your invention
289
00:13:57,911 --> 00:14:01,821
will never work, Mr. Thaddeus Subway.
290
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,656
Who's that guy with the mustache?
291
00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:05,843
Who's that other mustache?
292
00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:08,161
It's so dark. Can we brighten it?
293
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,514
This is how the director
meant for us to watch it.
294
00:14:10,591 --> 00:14:13,725
Our squinting reinforces the themes.
295
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,860
It's got to be almost over, right?
296
00:14:22,936 --> 00:14:25,362
This is still the recap from last week.
297
00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:26,771
Oh...
298
00:14:26,848 --> 00:14:29,182
Homer, it's our civic duty
299
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:33,036
to watch the most densely
plotted television we can.
300
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:36,689
That's why lowbrow
entertainment was outlawed.
301
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,029
Hey, guys, great job on that last raid.
302
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:45,290
We took out 32 seasons of Diners,
Drive-Ins and Dives,
303
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,126
and the last known episode
of Last Man Standing.
304
00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:50,112
Have you guys ever...
305
00:14:50,114 --> 00:14:52,723
watched any of that
lowbrow stuff we burn?
306
00:14:52,799 --> 00:14:55,225
Uh, illegal much?
307
00:14:56,011 --> 00:14:58,954
All right, let's go start fires
instead of putting 'em out.
308
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,063
Up we go!
309
00:15:10,085 --> 00:15:11,749
Fire Department!
310
00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:13,026
Hmm?
311
00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,927
I thought goat was going to eat carrot,
312
00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,763
but goat chomped farmer in the junk!
313
00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:32,545
Don't burn it, lad.
314
00:15:32,622 --> 00:15:34,089
You like what you see?
315
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:38,802
Take it, watch it. Find us.
316
00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:51,956
Did you all read Alan
Sepinwall III's recap
317
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:53,958
of the season finale of The Hapsburgs?
318
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,719
- Uh-huh. - Oh, yes, absolutely.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
319
00:15:56,738 --> 00:16:01,199
Do you guys ever wish TV
could be dumb and fun?
320
00:16:03,578 --> 00:16:07,914
So when you watch it, you just laugh?
321
00:16:09,584 --> 00:16:13,044
Thank you for a lovely evening, Marge.
322
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:32,147
Dad? What were you watching?
323
00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:35,257
Son,
you're the one person in this family
324
00:16:35,335 --> 00:16:36,759
that might understand this.
325
00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:41,263
It's possible we've been
wrong about everything.
326
00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:46,602
The dog that sneezed in the baby's face,
327
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,270
what's his backstory?
328
00:16:48,272 --> 00:16:50,848
There's no backstory. It just is.
329
00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:54,276
Which is its own kind
of innovative narrative?
330
00:16:54,278 --> 00:16:56,037
No, no narrative!
331
00:16:57,019 --> 00:16:58,614
Forget it.
332
00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:03,285
Please, son,
just don't tell anyone about this.
333
00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,054
I trust you.
334
00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:09,642
Reports of lowbrow contraband!
335
00:17:09,644 --> 00:17:12,220
Why, son? Why did you betray me?
336
00:17:12,222 --> 00:17:14,147
I trusted you!
337
00:17:15,317 --> 00:17:17,150
Merch.
338
00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:22,380
Burn-master General Siegfried Blaze!
339
00:17:22,382 --> 00:17:24,306
Homer, you disappoint me.
340
00:17:24,384 --> 00:17:27,827
Don't you see that we set
fires for the good of humanity?
341
00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:29,887
We learned long ago that entertainment
342
00:17:29,889 --> 00:17:33,649
must fully occupy the
consciousness of the population.
343
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:37,152
You're using quality TV to control us.
344
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:41,174
Yes, these challenging shows
are the perfect distraction
345
00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:44,902
from how dystopian our dystopia is.
346
00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:46,346
You monster!
347
00:17:46,348 --> 00:17:47,663
Am I?
348
00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:49,924
Do you know what entertainment was like
349
00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:51,592
in the before-times?
350
00:17:51,669 --> 00:17:54,595
Comfort shows you could
just put on in any order
351
00:17:54,672 --> 00:17:57,248
while you looked at your phone.
352
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,933
Oh, that sounds like heaven.
353
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,676
Don't worry, a little reeducation
354
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,253
and you'll be as good as new.
355
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,438
Strap him to the viewing chamber
356
00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:07,016
for four seasons of...
357
00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:09,035
Mozart in the Jungle.
358
00:18:10,764 --> 00:18:11,771
I...
359
00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:12,872
choose...
360
00:18:12,949 --> 00:18:14,874
crap!
361
00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:21,030
Barney, I can't explain,
362
00:18:21,107 --> 00:18:23,441
but I need to switch clothes with you.
363
00:18:23,443 --> 00:18:24,926
What fun!
364
00:18:29,966 --> 00:18:31,032
Huh?
365
00:18:32,376 --> 00:18:33,785
Threat neutralized.
366
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,066
The symbol from the tape.
367
00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:41,951
_
368
00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,963
Please, let me in.
369
00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:49,317
I just want to watch something
that isn't very good.
370
00:18:50,804 --> 00:18:51,844
Yoink!
371
00:18:52,289 --> 00:18:54,914
They said there were others like me.
372
00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:08,803
Lowbrow...
373
00:19:10,427 --> 00:19:12,915
Hey, hey.
374
00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,936
This is all that remains
of the old civilization.
375
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:20,089
Singing contests. Real Housewives.
376
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:21,666
The Golden Bachelor.
377
00:19:21,668 --> 00:19:23,851
All yours to enjoy.
378
00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:27,672
I never dreamed there
was this much nothing.
379
00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:34,537
Thank you, Homer, for leading us here.
380
00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:44,613
Hey, isn't that the guy
who created Breaking Bad?
381
00:19:44,691 --> 00:19:47,508
Vince Gilligan? Where?
382
00:19:48,378 --> 00:19:49,543
Let them go.
383
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,804
They have no garbage left to watch.
384
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,699
Some say the
world is destined to drown
385
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:56,884
in an ocean of prestige television.
386
00:19:56,886 --> 00:19:58,645
But so long as we tell the tales
387
00:19:58,647 --> 00:20:01,481
of singers masked and
Kardashians kept up with,
388
00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:04,225
garbage will live forever.
389
00:20:04,227 --> 00:20:06,969
And then Sheldon said,
390
00:20:07,046 --> 00:20:08,488
"Bazinga."
391
00:20:08,639 --> 00:20:11,140
So in the end,
the only rules that mattered
392
00:20:11,159 --> 00:20:13,384
were the Vanderpump rules.
393
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,886
That night, my friends,
394
00:20:14,888 --> 00:20:18,389
the funniest home
video in all of America
395
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,057
was deemed to be
396
00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:23,485
"Squirrel Falls in Grandma's Soup."
397
00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:37,376
Wow, those stories are amazing.
398
00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:39,760
But I guess I should be leaving this...
399
00:20:39,762 --> 00:20:42,504
strange, featureless void?
400
00:20:42,582 --> 00:20:44,857
What happened? Where am I?
401
00:20:44,859 --> 00:20:49,696
You were kind enough to listen
to the required stories three.
402
00:20:49,772 --> 00:20:54,033
And this is your eternal reward.
403
00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:55,535
No! Get me out of here!
404
00:20:55,611 --> 00:20:57,537
I don't want to be a living tattoo!
405
00:20:57,613 --> 00:20:59,780
Eh, don't worry,
you'll make friends in no time.
406
00:21:00,481 --> 00:21:01,523
Hi.
407
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:04,452
♪ I don't practice Santeria ♪
408
00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,954
♪ I ain't got no crystal ball... ♪
409
00:21:06,956 --> 00:21:10,049
Ugh. No!
410
00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:11,200
♪ But I ♪
411
00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:13,202
♪ I'd spend it all ♪
412
00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:15,112
♪ If I could find that jaina ♪
413
00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:18,115
♪ And that Sancho that she found ♪
414
00:21:18,117 --> 00:21:20,727
♪ Well, I'd pop a cap in Sancho ♪
415
00:21:20,729 --> 00:21:24,880
♪ And I'd slap her down ♪
416
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:27,066
♪ What I really want to know ♪
417
00:21:27,143 --> 00:21:29,126
♪ Ah, baby. ♪
418
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,112
Shh!
419
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,856
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