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1
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,504
♪
2
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,011
[both laughing]
3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,313
Marge, I love
when you grab my butt
4
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,282
with your cold, stiff fingers.
5
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:18,084
Homie,
I'm not touching your butt.
6
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,488
- Ew!
- Ew! Ew! Ew!
7
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,023
Save me, Baywatch!
8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,026
♪ Ah ♪
9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:30,664
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah ♪
10
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,266
[vocalizing]
11
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:42,008
♪ Hot bodies and murder ♪
12
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:48,315
♪ Rich, sexy people
behaving badly ♪
13
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:53,153
♪ Makes you feel better
about being broke and unknown ♪
14
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:57,557
♪ Symbolic statues
and endless brunch ♪
15
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:03,163
♪ How do they eat like that
and still look great naked? ♪
16
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:08,001
♪ Are they on O-O-O-Ozempic? ♪
17
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:12,205
[vocalizing]
18
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,577
- [seabirds squawking]
- [horn blows]
19
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,713
The Yellow Lotus,
a luxury, five-star resort,
20
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:23,550
has opened its teakwood doors to
Springfield's neediest minority:
21
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,285
the wealthy elite.
22
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,487
[chuckling]
And in breaking news...
23
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:28,788
This just in...
24
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,225
my mouth. Mmm!
25
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,660
- Mmm!
- [horn blows]
26
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:40,300
Are you sure
this is the timeshare we bought?
27
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,269
It's the exact same address.
28
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,938
We've been paying into it
for ten years.
29
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:48,475
It just seems too good a place
for us to have a reservation.
30
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,813
[slurping]
31
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,148
Read it and weep.
32
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:57,384
For joy... 'cause it's good.
33
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,189
Now, I'm legally forbidden
to say
34
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,924
that this is a good investment.
35
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,560
But this is
a very good investment.
36
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,895
[groans]
37
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:10,597
Homer, I'm uncomfortable.
38
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,700
The baby's using my womb
as a trampoline,
39
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,469
and Consumer Repo says
40
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:19,139
timeshares are the worst
investment in real estate.
41
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,675
Hey, I am not
selling you real estate.
42
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,143
I'm selling you something
43
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,612
that is much more valuable
than property.
44
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,080
Points.
45
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,216
Hmm. Points, eh?
46
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:33,654
Points that you can trade in
for a dream vacation any time,
47
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,155
except on blackout dates.
48
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,490
Your unborn children
will inherit your points.
49
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,892
And your fees.
50
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,561
It's a steal. For me.
51
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,295
Woo-hoo! Why, you!
52
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,833
Yeah, quick question.
Is he mooning me?
53
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,269
The baby's behind speaks
for us all
54
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,339
when it says
we should leave now!
55
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,542
Well, of course.
You're not prisoners.
56
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,744
But if you leave,
you are breaking the law,
57
00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:01,147
and you'll end up in prison
unless you sign this contract.
58
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,686
[wheezing]
59
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,557
Oh, no. My husband is having
a severe allergic reaction.
60
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,826
He needs to get
to the hospital immediately!
61
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,395
[grunting]
62
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,202
Another free breakfast,
63
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,471
and all I had
to do was risk death.
64
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,839
[laughs] Ow.
65
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:30,143
Homer, I see you eyeing
this delicious croquembouche.
66
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,913
85 choux puffs.
67
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,182
You think
I would sign a lifetime contract
68
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,384
for a stupid dessert?
[laughs]
69
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,752
Never again.
70
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,654
Not after Spectrum cable.
71
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,056
[majestic
instrumental music plays]
72
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,192
My friend, this is America.
73
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,827
Just because you can't possibly
afford something
74
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,730
doesn't mean
that you can't buy it.
75
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:54,201
Luxury vacations are not just
for the rich and the famous.
76
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,904
They're for average schlubs
like you.
77
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,272
- Like me?
- Of course!
78
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:03,010
Homer, what is more important:
to feel rich or to be rich?
79
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,778
To be rich!
80
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,912
Guess again.
81
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,748
To feel rich!
82
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,550
Exactly. Now sign.
83
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,454
Or don't and commit your family
to the worst life of all:
84
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,389
one with nothing
to look forward to.
85
00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:20,894
♪
86
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,496
[Marge mouthing]
87
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,198
Oh.
88
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,665
You get a free boombox.
89
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,500
- Done!
- Oh!
90
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,104
Huh?
91
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,874
But when can we use
the timeshare?
92
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,411
[chuckles]
The answer to that is...
93
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:41,215
♪ Waiting is the hardest part ♪
94
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:44,218
♪ Every day,
you see one more... ♪
95
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:46,186
[gasps]
The croquembouche!
96
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,489
Homer, you were right.
97
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,290
I can't believe it.
98
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,159
The monthly fees,
the maintenance fees,
99
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,527
the fee-calculating fees.
100
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,663
All worth it!
101
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:57,931
[dogs growling]
102
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,968
Welcome, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Smithers.
103
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,736
Who's a good boy?
104
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,271
[growling]
105
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,707
Heel, heel! Stop biting my heel!
106
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,876
These dogs have been working
hard and need a vacation.
107
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,411
They need
to be pampered, pedicured
108
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,681
and anally expressed
twice a day.
109
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,149
Relax the hounds!
110
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,652
Yes, sir. Excuse me.
111
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,758
Everything here is
for guests only,
112
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,759
including the view.
113
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,260
[groans softly]
114
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,831
Howdy.
115
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,332
You can't do this to us!
116
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,168
We may not have much money,
117
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,904
but we're rich in what counts
around here: points!
118
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,007
Ah, yes, right.
Well, that timeshare company
119
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,043
no longer owns this property.
120
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,346
But as a courtesy,
we do honor those points.
121
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,481
[Marge and Homer gasp loudly]
122
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,518
I'll see you at checkout.
123
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,754
Mm.
124
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:07,067
This is going to be the most
wonderful week of our lives.
125
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,535
[loud knocking]
126
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,371
Checkout time.
Back away from the minibar.
127
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,146
Uh, excuse me.
May I remind you
128
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:23,417
we have accumulated
450 million points.
129
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,219
Which equals 20 minutes.
Your stay is over.
130
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,656
This room now belongs
to Dr. and Mrs. Hibbert.
131
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,293
[Marge groans softly]
132
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,430
Oh, you think you've won, eh?
133
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,768
We are taking the free shampoo!
134
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,070
[grunting]
135
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,704
Stupid shampoo!
136
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:49,342
Why is everything
I want to steal bolted down?!
137
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:54,147
Check... mate.
[scoffs]
138
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,584
We requested a sober room.
No minibar.
139
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,087
My wife has gone a whole year
without a drink.
140
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,889
Oh, thank you, Julius.
141
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,490
Please tell everybody.
142
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,559
I won't mention
how you have your nurse
143
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,761
finish your operations
so you can go play golf.
144
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,362
Oops.
145
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,631
[laughs]
146
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,232
[grumbles]
Woman.
147
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,671
Don't worry about me.
148
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,874
I know how to cope
perfectly well without drinking.
149
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,510
I'm so glad I married a doctor.
150
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:25,545
[Marge groans]
151
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,015
Welcome to the Yellow Lotus.
152
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,418
I'm Shauna.
You're Tasha.
153
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,754
Yes, I know my name. Usually.
154
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,191
I also ordered
a welcome massage.
155
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:39,193
Not Swedish, shiatsu.
156
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:41,394
Also, it hurts when I smile.
157
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,330
Can you help?
158
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,699
I love the Yellow Lotus resorts.
159
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,601
So many beautiful bodies.
160
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,136
Especially the dead ones.
161
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,406
Whatever... I can do to help,
let me know.
162
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:56,042
I have three connecting
diamond lotus suites.
163
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,746
One for me, one for my husband
164
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,748
and one for my luggage.
165
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,282
[boat horn blowing]
166
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,452
That woman's luggage
gets a room, but we don't?!
167
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,788
Is this why
we defeated the Nazi zombies
168
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,690
in Call of Duty: World at War?
169
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,159
We could sneak into
the rich lady's luggage room,
170
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,761
and stay there for a week.
171
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,762
But Mom would never...
172
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,564
We are doing that!
173
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,767
Oh, I love it
when you break bad.
174
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,569
Hey, how'd you get the key, boy?
175
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:25,539
The real question is not
how did I get a key,
176
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:29,643
but how did I get a machine
that makes keys?
177
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,011
He's got you there, Marge.
178
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,779
I didn't ask anything.
179
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,749
[excited chatter, laughter]
180
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,084
[Bart]
Higher! Higher!
181
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,351
Ow! Too high!
182
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,954
[quietly]
Marge, come here.
183
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,455
I have to show you something
184
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:44,091
that I never dreamed
was possible.
185
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,694
There's a TV in the mirror.
186
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:52,299
It's always been my dream
to watch me watching TV.
187
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,433
Wow!
188
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,804
She's got to be
the happiest woman in the world.
189
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:59,406
[Tasha]
Oh. You're always leaving me!
190
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:02,409
Where are you going now?
Another secret phone call?
191
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,412
[Sideshow Bob]
She suspects nothing.
192
00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:07,681
She won't know until the minute
my hands are around her neck.
193
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,217
[laughing]
194
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:17,524
♪
195
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,297
We have to warn that poor woman
she's in danger!
196
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,165
But we're on vacation.
197
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,735
And Bob's only
an attempted murderer.
198
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,202
Attempted.
199
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,471
My ears are burning.
200
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,809
[all]
Sideshow Bob!
201
00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:37,611
Hello, Simpsons. Bart.
202
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,813
Don't "Bart" me, man.
203
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,748
What's your evil plan this time?
204
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,684
I might ask the same of you.
205
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,685
I believe you
and your sticky-fingered family
206
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:50,157
are squatting in a luxury suite
meant for my wife's luggage.
207
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,026
How do we know
you're not just after her money?
208
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,028
Now, Marge, that hurts.
209
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,363
I have my own fortune.
210
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,565
I invented a rake
with a collapsible handle.
211
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,700
No more head bonks.
212
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,537
[grunts, laughs, grumbles]
213
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,739
Now, let's see
what your options are.
214
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,808
A: You expose my past to my wife
215
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,676
while I get you arrested
for trespassing.
216
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,780
B: Everyone keeps quiet,
and we all enjoy...
217
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,685
[Bart]
Who am I to judge you, Bob?
218
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,886
Okay. Fine. One week.
219
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,056
But if your wife turns up dead,
220
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,290
even once,
221
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,958
we're calling the cops.
222
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,162
[Tasha]
Bob, who are you talking to?
223
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:29,563
Ah, my pet. [chuckles]
224
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,332
I was just doing vocalizations
in the other room
225
00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:33,033
so I wouldn't disturb you.
226
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,334
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
227
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,869
Oost, ohst, ost, est, east.
228
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,405
Badagaga, badagaga,
badagaga, badagaga.
229
00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:39,473
♪ La-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la, la. ♪
230
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,009
Well, I guess
we're trusting the psychopath.
231
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,877
Sociopath.
232
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,279
Two distinct diagnoses.
233
00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:48,014
With a slight touch of...
234
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,250
the narcissist.
235
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,287
[groaning]
236
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,889
[laughing]
237
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:56,923
[Tasha]
Hello.
238
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,059
Oh!
[chuckles]
239
00:10:58,059 --> 00:11:00,227
[stammering]
Hi.
240
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,295
I see you're reading Barbra.
241
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,764
Yeah. After I put it
in my suitcase,
242
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:07,234
I had no room for anything else.
243
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:10,137
I've got the audiobook.
244
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,273
I had to delete
all the photos on my phone
245
00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,008
so I'd have enough memory.
246
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,677
Who needs my memories
when I have Barbra's?
247
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,245
Let's listen together.
248
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,683
- [Lisa] You're it! [laughing]
- [Bart laughing]
249
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,419
[gasps]
250
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,559
Kids! [quietly] We're trying
to be inconspicuous.
251
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:32,759
No problem!
252
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:33,761
[quietly]
Marco.
253
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:34,761
[whispers]
Polo.
254
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,796
- Marc--
- Polo!
255
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,235
You don't belong here.
256
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:42,603
[gasps]
257
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,471
This is an adults-only pool.
258
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,907
The hotel will take these kids
off your hands
259
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,642
for the rest of your trip, sir.
260
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,611
Oh! It's about time.
261
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:52,546
Thank you!
262
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,214
Polo! [whoops]
263
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,682
- Ah! Jerk!
- [others exclaim]
264
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,384
♪
265
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,522
[gulps]
266
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,026
Excuse me.
I don't mean to bother,
267
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,696
but can I please get
a vegan option?
268
00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:10,297
What the hell are you doing?
269
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:13,200
I mean saying "excuse me"
and "please."
270
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,002
Rich kids talk like that.
271
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,403
Hello?
272
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,039
Do I have to color in
this drawing myself?
273
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,875
Inside the lines, dum-dum!
274
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,677
You'll never blend in, Lis.
275
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:25,145
[exhales]
276
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,014
You call these crudités?
277
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,882
I want farm-to-table.
278
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:31,117
[attendant gasps]
279
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,821
Isn't it grand?
280
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:39,893
Our kids are getting spoiled
in a way we could never afford.
281
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,029
Have you noticed something,
Homer?
282
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,665
We're the only happy people
here.
283
00:12:44,665 --> 00:12:48,903
♪
284
00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:51,238
[slurping]
285
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,309
Wow. Well, these rich jerks
286
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,611
may not appreciate
how good they have it,
287
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,013
but we do.
288
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:01,481
And we're gonna have it all.
289
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,652
Do you have a masseur
for the plus-sized man?
290
00:13:06,654 --> 00:13:09,022
Oh, baby.
291
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,024
I'd like
292
00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:11,759
a full-body sage scrub,
293
00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:13,494
seaweed foot mask,
294
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:14,795
pumpkin face mask,
295
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,063
cedar oil hair mask
296
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,399
and toxin release mud bath.
297
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:20,934
Ditto.
298
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,603
[sighs, moans]
299
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,610
[Lindsey]
We're clear.
300
00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:30,811
[sighs]
301
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,147
Finally, I can relax.
302
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:36,484
[fortune teller]
Somebody here is going to die.
303
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,484
Gah!
304
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,153
Who will it be?
305
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,021
The Poisoned Queen?
306
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,158
- The Suffering Toady?
- Mm.
307
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:47,795
Or is it the Hanged Bride?
308
00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:48,929
[gasps]
309
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,397
Beware.
310
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,298
Beware?
311
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,567
Is it
"existential crisis" beware?
312
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,503
Or is it beware
like the egg salad's gone bad?
313
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,471
Oh, don't worry.
314
00:13:57,471 --> 00:14:01,308
These hotel fortune tellers
are always fakes.
315
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,677
Mama, we need you
in the kitchen, eh?
316
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,880
Just as I predicted.
317
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,881
[sighs]
Oh.
318
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,617
There's something
I'm afraid I have to tell you.
319
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,952
Something bad.
320
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,355
Sounds like I'm gonna need
a macaron.
321
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,623
Better take the whole plate.
322
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:21,629
I think you may be married
to a murderous psychopath.
323
00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:22,896
Sociopath.
324
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,164
[spits]
What?
325
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,832
That's crazy.
326
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,901
Bob married my sister
for her money,
327
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,404
and she has way less than you.
328
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:33,206
Well, I've got
an ironclad prenup.
329
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,641
If we get divorced,
330
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,076
Bob gets no money.
331
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,310
Unless I'm murdered.
332
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,746
But he told me
that's just boilerplate.
333
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:40,881
[playing piano]
334
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,550
♪ Killing her softly ♪
335
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:45,286
♪ With my words ♪
336
00:14:45,286 --> 00:14:49,490
♪ Ending her whole life
with my knife ♪
337
00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:54,027
♪ Choking her softly
with rope... ♪
338
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,562
And now for my next request,
339
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,232
I'd like to ask security
to take out two trespassers
340
00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:02,169
who, not coincidentally,
went back on their word to me.
341
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,338
Uh, you're still here?!
342
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,606
Security!
343
00:15:05,606 --> 00:15:07,041
♪
344
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,508
[Homer and Marge gasp]
345
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,110
[grunts]
346
00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:18,652
[exclaims] Throw spaghetti sauce
in my eyes!
347
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,886
[grunts]
348
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,622
That's-a better.
349
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:24,524
♪
350
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,032
Oh, there she is again.
351
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,034
Doesn't a hotel manager
have better things to do?
352
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,035
[both gasp]
353
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,904
I have to protect the brand!
354
00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:38,739
The brand!
355
00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:41,374
Marge, do what I do.
356
00:15:45,613 --> 00:15:49,650
Damn it, Bernice. Do you want to
leave this resort in a body bag?
357
00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:52,052
The only hard part
will be getting her
358
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,221
to the top of the cliff.
359
00:15:55,056 --> 00:15:56,691
If the hounds
don't taste blood soon,
360
00:15:56,691 --> 00:15:58,159
I fear they'll go mad.
361
00:15:58,159 --> 00:16:00,327
[growling, barking]
362
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,362
This resort is filled
with psychos,
363
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:05,066
murderers and mild neurotics!
364
00:16:05,066 --> 00:16:06,333
Oy, my leg hurts...
365
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,001
[grunts]
whenever there's fog.
366
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,936
[gasps]
Oh, my God, Marge.
367
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,139
It's the worst one of all!
368
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,741
Who here has ever wanted
to take a vacation
369
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,876
and earn money at the same time?
370
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,378
[both scream]
371
00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,490
[humming]
372
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:35,162
You sold us
a worthless timeshare!
373
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,164
Uh, you're gonna have
to narrow that down.
374
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,433
You remember this? Huh?
375
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:42,402
Lady, do you know how many
pregnant women I have defrauded?
376
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,938
That baby is now ten years old.
377
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,474
Oh, yeah.
I'll never forget that ass.
378
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,544
You guys must have accumulated
a hell of a lot of debt.
379
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:53,280
Look, I'm not in that business
anymore, okay?
380
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,083
Now I get people out
of timeshare scams.
381
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,051
Is that also a scam?
382
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,886
Yeah. Much more profitable.
383
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,956
I'm going to do something now
I should have done back then.
384
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,158
[grunts]
385
00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:06,193
Hey, I need that for evil!
386
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,796
You have some very bad karma, mister.
387
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,065
Ooh, ooh, I have bad karma.
388
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,034
Oh, I'm so scared!
389
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:14,868
[grunting]
390
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:18,271
Oh, please don't hurt me,
Hindu gods!
391
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,740
[laughing]
392
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,408
Don't be a smart aleck.
393
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,812
When you do something bad,
it always catches up with you.
394
00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:26,280
Gotcha! Moochers!
395
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,448
- Moochers?
- They're despicable.
396
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,885
I've been watching
you all be miserable in paradise
397
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,887
and take everything for granted.
398
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,755
So you may be wealthier,
399
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,092
but we're rich in what counts.
400
00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:41,295
- Points?
- The ability to go on vacation
401
00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:44,898
and have fun without plotting
to kill our loved ones!
402
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,199
And now, lady,
403
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:49,203
I'm going to take in the view!
404
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,238
♪
405
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,279
You know, Homie,
406
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,348
the ferry doesn't come
for a while.
407
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,117
- How 'bout one last swim?
- [chuckles]
408
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,490
Mwah.
409
00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:12,259
♪
410
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,561
[groans]
411
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,031
You've played me for a fool,
Bernice.
412
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,165
But no more!
413
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,601
There's only one way
to end this.
414
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,603
[grunts]
415
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:23,637
Oh, no!
416
00:18:26,474 --> 00:18:27,942
I love you, Bernice.
417
00:18:27,942 --> 00:18:30,277
And we're not coming down
until you're clean.
418
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,179
Also, not until I figure out
419
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,615
how to get this balloon back
to land.
420
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,350
[chuckling]
421
00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:38,385
♪
422
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,021
No! Stop!
423
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:43,156
Nice Dobermans!
424
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,325
[snarls]
425
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,495
Thank God
I brought my spare bone.
426
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,097
[poshly] D'oh!
427
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:55,502
For you, my darling.
428
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,604
[gasps]
429
00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:00,040
Oh, wow.
430
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,277
All the secret phone calls
were to arrange this?
431
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:05,412
[chuckles]
Like all sociopaths,
432
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,149
all I really needed
was the love of a good woman.
433
00:19:08,149 --> 00:19:09,816
And the proper medication.
434
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,019
Now all I want to do
is smother you
435
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:13,487
with kisses
436
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,921
and set you ablaze
437
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,357
with passion.
438
00:19:16,357 --> 00:19:17,425
[moaning]
439
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:18,625
Mwah!
440
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,026
Well, I'll be.
441
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,896
He's as great a husband as I am.
442
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,832
Now, my dear, may I serenade you
443
00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:27,434
with the divine
Gilbert and Sullivan?
444
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,137
♪ A wandering minstrel I ♪
445
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:34,007
♪ A thing of shreds
and patches ♪
446
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,743
♪ Of ballads, songs
and snatches ♪
447
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,744
Wha--
448
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,413
Tasha, why?
449
00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:42,082
- I'm a fast-cycling
manic-depressive!
- [groaning]
450
00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,684
Oh, no, Bob! What have I done?
451
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,753
[groaning]
452
00:19:50,024 --> 00:19:51,959
- Bob.
- Mel.
453
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,160
My best to Krusty.
454
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,229
The three of us
should have lunch.
455
00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:56,229
Yes, but not this week.
456
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,430
I'm doing a cleanse.
457
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,835
Ah. Your colon will thank you.
458
00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:03,737
So I guess everyone's fine!
459
00:20:04,772 --> 00:20:07,674
Except for the body.
460
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,477
♪
461
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,512
[gasps]
A shark.
462
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,651
Oh, it's just an adorable
little otter.
463
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,186
[hisses]
464
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:21,889
Oh!
[yelling]
465
00:20:21,889 --> 00:20:24,124
♪
466
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,929
Timeshare salesman
turned retired scoundrel
467
00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,564
Nick Callahan is dead,
468
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:34,468
leaving behind a fortune
valued at 80 billion points.
469
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,003
In "otter" news...
470
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:37,605
My chai!
471
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:39,639
♪
472
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,384
[woman vocalizing]
473
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:59,693
♪ Once again, we've seen
rich people act despicably ♪
474
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:03,297
♪ And feel better
about ourselves ♪
475
00:21:03,297 --> 00:21:07,334
♪ Like Fantasy Island
and Glass Onion ♪
476
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,337
♪ And even Lord of the Flies. ♪
477
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,138
[vocalizing]
478
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:16,142
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
479
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:20,146
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
480
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:24,151
and TOYOTA.
481
00:21:24,151 --> 00:21:27,621
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
482
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,522
Shh!32728
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