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♪
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00:00:08,024 --> 00:00:11,004
Here's your ticket
to witness history.
3
00:00:10,999 --> 00:00:13,069
Chuck Wildler breaking
the pitching record
4
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:17,692
- for most batters
knocked unconscious.
- Mm-hmm!
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00:00:17,687 --> 00:00:19,687
Upper deck. We're so far away.
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00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:22,673
I wanted to see teeth fly.
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Relax, nobody comes
to Isotopes games.
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We'll move into the empty seats
behind home plate.
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You'll be so close
to the carnage,
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00:00:29,589 --> 00:00:31,629
you'll have flashbacks
for the rest of your life.
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00:00:31,628 --> 00:00:34,068
What the heck?
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00:00:34,069 --> 00:00:35,979
Why is it so crowded?
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And why are they all girls?
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And why are they all checking
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00:00:39,117 --> 00:00:40,857
each other's teeth
for lipstick?
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00:00:40,856 --> 00:00:42,656
- Do I have lipstick?
- Is it gone?
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00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:45,002
ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): First up,
a young slugger batting .320
18
00:00:45,002 --> 00:00:46,842
with a hat size of 11...
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00:00:46,841 --> 00:00:47,981
Tork "Lollipop" Williams.
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00:00:47,977 --> 00:00:53,457
(laughs)
Wildler hates this guy's head.
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00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,070
FEMALE VOICE: Your jumbotron
is now under the control
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00:00:56,068 --> 00:01:00,578
of the Ashlee Starling
Murmur Nation.
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00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,252
(girls cheering)
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00:01:02,253 --> 00:01:04,563
Why are you all standing
at the same time?
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00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:10,280
That's not how the wave works.
You've got to undulate.
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00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:13,957
Ashlee's album Squeeze Play
drops now.
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00:01:13,955 --> 00:01:16,755
Featuring her
hit single "Glitter!"
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00:01:16,764 --> 00:01:18,034
- ♪
- (girls cheering)
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What the hell
is an Ashlee Starling?
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Ashlee Starling
is a whiny pop singer
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for whiny girls
who love to whine.
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00:01:26,694 --> 00:01:28,604
♪ Yeah, yeah,
you broke my heart ♪
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00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:30,869
♪ Into a million pieces ♪
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00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:34,053
♪ And like glitter
those pieces shine ♪
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00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:37,228
♪ They reflect all the
bad things you said and did ♪
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♪ And I can't get them
out of my mind ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
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♪ I'm not bitter,
now I'm glitter ♪
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- (grumbles) Ah! (grumbles)
-♪ You threw me away
like litter... ♪
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Stop this stupid
well-planned thing!
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00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:54,543
-♪ I'm not bitter,
now I'm glitter ♪
- (both groaning)
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00:01:54,544 --> 00:01:56,994
(gasping)
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- HOMER: Oh, my God,
it's happening.
-♪ Bet your new girl will find ♪
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00:01:59,057 --> 00:02:02,797
- For the record! And... Oh.
-♪ Pieces of me everywhere ♪
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00:02:02,802 --> 00:02:05,512
-♪ Like glitter. ♪
- HOMER: D'oh!
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00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:08,180
- (grunts)
- We missed it.
- (girls exclaiming)
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00:02:08,184 --> 00:02:10,464
Childhood officially ruined.
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00:02:10,457 --> 00:02:14,267
Let's get a dozen hot dogs
and head home.
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00:02:14,269 --> 00:02:15,339
- (gasps)
- Oh...
50
00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:17,038
- What?
- Do I have hot dog?
51
00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:18,554
- Am I good?
- (indistinct chatter)
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00:02:18,549 --> 00:02:21,589
Oh, I should have hot dog
in my teeth.
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Sir, how long have you been
a proud member
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00:02:23,832 --> 00:02:25,072
of the Murmur Nation?
55
00:02:25,068 --> 00:02:26,238
Since never.
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00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:28,338
Ashlee Starling
is a whiny pop singer
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for whiny girls
that love to whine. Right, boy?
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00:02:31,186 --> 00:02:32,856
I disagree.
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00:02:32,859 --> 00:02:33,929
Ashlee Starling's
well-crafted songs
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00:02:33,929 --> 00:02:37,869
speak to the inner lives
of teens and tweens alike.
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00:02:37,873 --> 00:02:40,313
- But you said...
- I've never met this man.
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00:02:40,314 --> 00:02:42,654
If I knew him,
I would teach him to love Ashlee
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00:02:42,654 --> 00:02:44,134
by sharing that one song
about how you're beautiful
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00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:48,165
no matter what
your face looks like.
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00:02:48,171 --> 00:02:50,341
Why are you talking like that?
(gasps)
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00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,354
Did one of them bite you?
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00:02:52,349 --> 00:02:54,659
Do you have any idea
what you just mobilized?
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00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:57,827
You insulted Ashlee Starling
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on camera.
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00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:03,017
I am looking into the eyes
of a dead man.
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00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:06,325
Wha...?
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00:03:06,325 --> 00:03:09,665
(vocalizing)
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00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,438
MARTY (over radio):
Looking for the fifth caller
to win all you can eat bread
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00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:15,323
- at Yeasties Doughhouse and...
- (radio static)
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- Huh?
-♪ I'm not bitter... ♪
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What? Oh... You again.
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00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,173
Not on my radio.
(grunts)
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00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,752
-♪ I'm not bitter... ♪
-♪ Not bitter... ♪
- What's happening?
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00:03:24,748 --> 00:03:26,988
-♪ You threw me... ♪
-♪ Threw me... ♪
- (grunting)
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00:03:26,987 --> 00:03:36,777
-♪ Like glitter. ♪
- (screaming)
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Glitter?
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(whimpering)
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00:03:43,871 --> 00:03:45,241
Eh, who's there?
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I-I see you.
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00:03:47,248 --> 00:03:48,918
(panting)
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00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:49,760
(gasps)
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00:03:49,756 --> 00:03:52,256
(girl's laughter echoing)
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00:03:52,262 --> 00:03:54,042
What the...
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00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:55,705
(whimpering)
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00:03:55,706 --> 00:03:56,506
(gasps)
A seed cake?
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00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:59,249
Well, you know my motto:
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even the worst cake
is still cake.
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00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:03,032
(shrieking)
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00:04:03,029 --> 00:04:11,349
(screaming)
95
00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:12,223
(shaky breathing)
96
00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:16,203
- Aah!
- (screeches)
97
00:04:16,202 --> 00:04:17,612
"Love" is in quotes.
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00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:20,346
What were you thinking?
99
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,347
You've made
the nuclear power plant
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00:04:22,352 --> 00:04:24,632
a very dangerous place to work.
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00:04:24,626 --> 00:04:27,596
You have become the target
of a highly organized,
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00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:30,712
newly-hormonal fan army.
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00:04:30,712 --> 00:04:33,292
Because of you,
I have to wear this T-shirt.
104
00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:37,095
In case anyone's wondering,
I don't agree with Homer.
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00:04:37,097 --> 00:04:40,307
Whew. You don't know
these fan armies.
106
00:04:40,306 --> 00:04:42,446
They're all ruthless psychos.
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00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:44,486
Except for the BTS ARMY,
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00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,485
- who are just and pure of heart.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:49,804
(groans softly)
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Dad, if you ever want to breathe
un-glittered air again,
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00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:55,222
you have to repent and devote
your life to Ashlee.
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00:04:55,218 --> 00:04:58,258
Oh, you're blowing this
out of proportion.
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00:04:58,260 --> 00:04:59,460
Everything's gonna be f-f...
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00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:03,114
(sneezes)
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Unrelated.
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I got glitter in every fold,
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00:05:06,484 --> 00:05:08,834
crack and wedge.
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00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:11,566
I really need
the comforting burn
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00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:14,277
of Flaming Hot Oreos.
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00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:14,735
(screeching)
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(whimpering)
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00:05:18,387 --> 00:05:19,317
Oh, God.
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00:05:19,324 --> 00:05:27,824
No!
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00:05:27,815 --> 00:05:30,585
We did it.
We have broken him.
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00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:31,761
You sure you're cool with this?
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Totally.
My dad has to pay
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00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:41,088
for what he said about Ashlee.
128
00:05:41,089 --> 00:05:43,729
Great job, Murmur Nation.
We've got D'oh-boy on the ropes.
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00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,440
I feel bad for the ropes.
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00:05:45,435 --> 00:05:47,805
We couldn't have made it
this far without you, Lisa.
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00:05:47,809 --> 00:05:51,449
I'm doing it for Ashlee.
I'm a hardcore Starling fan.
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00:05:51,453 --> 00:05:55,373
She encourages girls everywhere
to speak truth to power
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00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:57,535
and never date John Mayer.
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00:05:57,538 --> 00:05:59,478
But selling out your own dad?
135
00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:03,287
That is Stone Cold Creamery,
and I'll take two scoops.
136
00:06:03,288 --> 00:06:06,798
I love my dad,
but you guys are my besties.
137
00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,369
(gasps)
I've never used the plural
138
00:06:09,373 --> 00:06:11,013
of bestie before.
139
00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:14,323
Marge, did you get the paper?
(groans)
140
00:06:14,321 --> 00:06:17,501
Once again, Marge is out living
it up at the grocery store.
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00:06:17,498 --> 00:06:22,308
(grunting)
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00:06:22,312 --> 00:06:24,152
Ooh, lawn burger.
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00:06:24,152 --> 00:06:25,322
Mm?
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00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:28,461
(grumbling)
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00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:32,113
(gasps)
The mothership.
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00:06:32,109 --> 00:06:33,479
Mm...
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00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:37,489
Oh!
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00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,230
(grunts)
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00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:42,210
I'm still waiting
on cheese fries.
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00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:44,446
(grumbles)
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00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,615
(scoffs)
Just as I thought,
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Ashlee what's-her-face.
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00:06:48,691 --> 00:06:50,601
I'm not Ashlee.
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00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:51,998
Aah!
What's your face?
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00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:54,951
I'm pop sensation,
U.N. AmbassaDiva
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00:06:54,945 --> 00:06:57,785
and lip gloss spokesmouth,
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00:06:57,786 --> 00:06:59,386
- (echoing): Echo.
- Mm?
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00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:03,140
I had my name
legally changed to do that.
159
00:07:03,135 --> 00:07:06,205
I hear the birdbrain fans
of Murmur Nation
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00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,780
have been giving you trouble.
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00:07:07,782 --> 00:07:10,192
I haven't had a single day's
sleep at work.
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00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:13,429
Miss Ashlee and I have
the standard megastar feud.
163
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:17,312
We released dueling diss tracks
then diss sketches on SNL.
164
00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,920
We both diss-dated
Pete Davidson.
165
00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:21,915
That guy's got big diss energy.
166
00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:24,604
I've always believed
the frenemy of my frenemy
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- is my ene-friend.
- Obviously.
168
00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:30,484
Why don't we team up
and clip some Starling wings?
169
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,263
I have my own fan army.
170
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:34,995
(echoing):
The Echolaliacs.
171
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,037
Hmm...
An eye for an eye.
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00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,450
(gasps)
Everyone wins!
173
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Let's do it.
174
00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:43,962
Oh, careful...
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00:07:43,957 --> 00:07:44,927
- (gasps)
- 'Sup, Books.
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00:07:44,926 --> 00:07:47,536
Ooh, looks like
you're making a glitter bomb.
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00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,435
Don't be ridicu...
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00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,910
(coughs) ...lous.
179
00:07:50,911 --> 00:07:52,881
Look, I know
you're part of the army
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00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,664
that's driving dad bananas.
181
00:07:54,656 --> 00:07:56,556
- I want in.
- No way.
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00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:58,772
You don't believe
in the power of music
183
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,739
and weaponizing breakups.
184
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,211
Lisa, I have spent years
185
00:08:02,211 --> 00:08:04,621
thinking of ways
to screw with dad,
186
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:06,929
and they're all right here.
187
00:08:06,926 --> 00:08:09,596
Hmm.
Skunk vendors,
188
00:08:09,601 --> 00:08:11,671
atomic whoopee cushions.
189
00:08:11,673 --> 00:08:12,883
This is exactly what we need.
190
00:08:12,877 --> 00:08:15,817
But why would you help us?
191
00:08:15,819 --> 00:08:17,089
Because, for the first time,
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00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:19,700
you have something I want:
an army.
193
00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:20,827
I can finally bring my wildest
194
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,644
prank dreams to life
on a grand scale.
195
00:08:23,643 --> 00:08:24,913
Like this. I call it
196
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:29,803
the Alley Oops.
197
00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:31,495
Okay, as soon as
the Fat Lebowski
198
00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:34,379
sticks his fingers in the ball,
they'll be Krazy-Glued in
199
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,675
and he'll bowl himself
down the greased alley
200
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,962
right into the waiting pool
of garbage juice.
201
00:08:38,955 --> 00:08:40,525
The pool's in place.
202
00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:44,837
We drained
every dumpster in town.
203
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,420
- Yes!
- Got him.
204
00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:50,457
Whoa.
What's happening?
205
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:52,726
Oh, God!
My fingers seem to be...
206
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:55,110
(grunts)
207
00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,645
...great at bowling.
208
00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,285
- (gasps) He must be on to us.
- Abort!
209
00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,726
- Everyone back to HQ.
- Go.
- But quietly.
210
00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:04,596
My mom's got an Herbalife thing.
211
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,340
Hm?
212
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:07,905
♪
213
00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:08,909
(gasps)
214
00:09:08,912 --> 00:09:10,382
Homer Simpson is now
215
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,733
under the protection
of my Echolaliacs.
216
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:19,037
(echoing):
Echolaliacs.
217
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,782
(coughs)
They're smoke bombing us
218
00:09:21,784 --> 00:09:23,624
with her signature scent,
219
00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:24,322
Reverb by Echo.
220
00:09:24,324 --> 00:09:29,574
- (coughing)
- KID: My lungs!
221
00:09:29,574 --> 00:09:32,154
Your dad has made an alliance
with the Echo fan army.
222
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:34,418
Maybe we should leave him alone.
223
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:36,391
No. We can't back down.
224
00:09:36,394 --> 00:09:39,204
Ashlee isn't just
a singer we like.
225
00:09:39,202 --> 00:09:41,412
She's the photo in our locker.
226
00:09:41,409 --> 00:09:43,319
She's our one and only
Google Alert.
227
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:46,785
She's the tattoo
I've been designing
228
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:48,962
for when I turn 18.
229
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:51,314
We aren't just fans of Ashlee,
230
00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:54,145
we are Ashlee!
231
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:57,218
ALL:
We are Ashlee!
232
00:09:57,223 --> 00:09:59,863
Lis, are you really gonna
whip up these psychos
233
00:09:59,864 --> 00:10:02,004
into a full-fledged fan war?
234
00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:03,414
- Yeah.
- Cool.
235
00:10:03,408 --> 00:10:07,818
You psychos heard my sister.
It's war.
236
00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:10,662
(cheering)
237
00:10:10,664 --> 00:10:13,074
♪
238
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:17,620
- (phone dings)
- (grumbles)
239
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,858
(growls)
240
00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:20,785
(grunting)
241
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:21,634
D'oh!
242
00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:23,570
(grunts, sighs)
243
00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:26,509
The winner is Ashlee Starling.
244
00:10:26,512 --> 00:10:28,082
(cheering, applause)
245
00:10:28,082 --> 00:10:34,172
- (grunts) Yoink!
- BOTH: Oh!
246
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:38,947
Huh? (exclaiming)
247
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:41,088
Ew, carrot.
248
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:43,658
Glitter war is sparkly hell.
249
00:10:43,662 --> 00:10:46,002
Mrs. Simpson, are you proud
of what your husband
250
00:10:46,002 --> 00:10:47,742
- has done to this town?
- No.
251
00:10:47,741 --> 00:10:49,281
The thing I hate most
about armies,
252
00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:53,159
fan or otherwise, is the mess.
253
00:10:53,157 --> 00:10:55,257
I love my husband,
but I disagree
254
00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:56,674
with him about Ashlee.
255
00:10:56,669 --> 00:11:00,079
I listened to one of her albums.
It was great.
256
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:03,957
She sure knows which of
her boyfriends were bad for her.
257
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:06,026
- All of them.
- (laughs)
258
00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:09,169
You heard it here first.
Ashlee Starling is great,
259
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:11,453
but not as great
as BTS or their fans,
260
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:15,155
- who are sane and perfect.
- Mm-hmm.
261
00:11:15,156 --> 00:11:16,386
I got the family size.
262
00:11:16,394 --> 00:11:18,204
This'll make enough slime
to fill his toilet
263
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,870
and his secret toilet.
264
00:11:19,871 --> 00:11:21,171
Maybe we could work in
265
00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:23,354
Tabasco toilet paper.
266
00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:26,318
- Whoa, that's messed-up.
- Thanks. (chuckles)
267
00:11:26,323 --> 00:11:28,303
I'm learning from you.
(chuckles)
268
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,536
This has been really great.
269
00:11:30,537 --> 00:11:32,977
Who would have thought
that you and I could connect
270
00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:37,156
- on such a deep level?
- (phone dings)
271
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,455
- You're out of the group.
- What?!
272
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:42,240
Yeah. Mackenzie said you weren't
excited enough to meet her dog.
273
00:11:42,238 --> 00:11:44,978
But-but who names
their dog Greg?
274
00:11:44,979 --> 00:11:46,279
That's a man name.
275
00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:48,223
And why didn't you
stand up for me?
276
00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:49,463
Meh, sheroes before bros.
277
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:53,470
- I'll tell dad everything.
- If you do,
278
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:56,251
then I'll show him
your little notebook of pranks.
279
00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:59,216
Dad would be so surprised
to learn that the handsome pills
280
00:11:59,222 --> 00:12:02,162
he's been taking are actually
281
00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:04,473
the dog's heartworm medication.
282
00:12:04,471 --> 00:12:06,141
- Oh...
- (doorbell rings)
283
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,052
(gasps)
284
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:09,921
It's the Wingmen!
285
00:12:09,921 --> 00:12:13,831
Ashlee Starling's
live-in aerialists.
286
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:17,083
Oh!
287
00:12:17,076 --> 00:12:19,416
Aah!
288
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,556
What?
What happened?
289
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:24,297
Ashlee Starling wants
to have dinner with me.
290
00:12:24,298 --> 00:12:26,298
Aah!
291
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:28,213
She sent a dress for me to wear.
292
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,448
Whee! (grunts)
293
00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:34,702
"Hope this fits you, Marge"?
294
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:37,196
(gasps) It's for me?
295
00:12:37,202 --> 00:12:39,282
She must have heard me tell
Kent Brockman
296
00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,315
that I listened
to her song once.
297
00:12:41,315 --> 00:12:43,285
What? I mean...
298
00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,597
(laughs)
299
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:48,995
I have been a very dedicated fan
300
00:12:49,004 --> 00:12:49,844
since I was four,
301
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,150
but you... you just made
one comment.
302
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,590
(laughs) Good for you.
303
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:58,869
I'm having dinner
with a famous person.
304
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:02,438
(giggles)
I'm team Sparrow.
305
00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:03,824
It's Starling!
306
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:07,426
As a great man once said,
"Haw-haw."
307
00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:10,596
I can't believe you're
having dinner with my nemesis,
308
00:13:10,604 --> 00:13:12,584
after all the handsome pills
I take for you.
309
00:13:12,576 --> 00:13:14,916
- (helicopter approaching)
- That's my ride.
310
00:13:14,916 --> 00:13:18,426
(gasps)
311
00:13:18,426 --> 00:13:20,366
Hello, Marge.
312
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:22,865
- I'm Ashlee Starling.
- I know.
313
00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:25,583
We hired a look-alike of you
for Lisa's birthday.
314
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:29,262
You're taller.
She had bigger boobs.
315
00:13:29,258 --> 00:13:31,498
Ooh, thank you.
316
00:13:31,499 --> 00:13:33,469
- Ooh, wow!
- (chuckles)
317
00:13:33,472 --> 00:13:35,952
It's my own line
of sparkling whiskey.
318
00:13:35,946 --> 00:13:37,316
Mmm, yum.
319
00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:38,315
Mmm, mmm. (smacks lips)
320
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,330
Look at your sweet family.
321
00:13:41,328 --> 00:13:42,498
I'm sure your husband
322
00:13:42,499 --> 00:13:44,169
- is perfect.
- (kids growling)
- Stop it!
323
00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:44,809
(laughs)
324
00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:48,045
Homer is far from perfect.
325
00:13:48,048 --> 00:13:51,188
Really?
Tell me everything.
326
00:13:51,191 --> 00:13:53,261
Mmm, ooh.
327
00:13:53,264 --> 00:14:00,454
(grunting)
328
00:14:00,452 --> 00:14:01,892
(laughs)
329
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:04,400
Ashlee said
the funniest thing at dinner.
330
00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,397
No one wants to hear
about your thrilling night
331
00:14:06,404 --> 00:14:07,374
with a vengeful pop diva.
332
00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:09,813
Lisa, sweetie, delight us
333
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:12,254
with one of your little stories
about how the planet
334
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:13,364
is choking on plastic.
335
00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,028
Don't "sweetie" her.
336
00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,039
She's the one behind
those Murmur Nation
337
00:14:17,035 --> 00:14:18,635
- attacks on you.
- (gasps)
338
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:20,951
(gasps)
Lisa. Wh...
339
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:24,057
But you're the one kid
I had on purpose.
340
00:14:24,056 --> 00:14:28,666
Well, Bart was part of it, too,
and he doesn't even like Ashlee.
341
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,410
He did it just for the fun
of torturing you.
342
00:14:30,408 --> 00:14:31,878
(gasps)
You?
343
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:34,689
The person I would most suspect?
344
00:14:34,689 --> 00:14:37,429
I never could have
seen it coming.
345
00:14:37,429 --> 00:14:39,639
Kids, how could you do that
to your father?
346
00:14:39,637 --> 00:14:43,417
What? You're the worst
betrayer of all.
347
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:46,415
Dad, you should see
the video Ashlee just dropped
348
00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:48,863
after her night of girl talk
349
00:14:48,864 --> 00:14:50,544
with Mom.
350
00:14:50,537 --> 00:14:59,797
♪
351
00:14:59,797 --> 00:15:02,967
♪ When we first got together ♪
352
00:15:02,973 --> 00:15:05,413
♪ I didn't see your flaws ♪
353
00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:07,754
♪ But then I saw you
eating ChapStick ♪
354
00:15:07,754 --> 00:15:09,864
♪ And it kind of gave me pause ♪
355
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:13,470
♪ Your man-boobs
you call cha-chis ♪
356
00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:15,511
♪ Your fontanelle
that never fused ♪
357
00:15:15,511 --> 00:15:17,891
♪ When I thought
that you were perfect ♪
358
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:23,265
♪ I must've been confused ♪
359
00:15:23,266 --> 00:15:25,036
♪ And it's hard to ignore it ♪
360
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:29,149
♪ When you burp-talk
in your sleep ♪
361
00:15:29,151 --> 00:15:30,661
♪ Somehow, you've got
athlete's foot ♪
362
00:15:30,656 --> 00:15:34,536
♪ On both of your knees ♪
363
00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:36,505
♪ Whoa, oh ♪
364
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:37,878
♪ Oh ♪
365
00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:41,688
♪ We had dinner
with my sisters ♪
366
00:15:41,689 --> 00:15:43,959
♪ And it turned into a fight ♪
367
00:15:43,963 --> 00:15:46,273
♪ You kept insisting
that the Moon ♪
368
00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:49,079
♪ Was just the Sun at night ♪
369
00:15:49,077 --> 00:15:50,717
♪ Seeing you the way they do ♪
370
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,856
♪ Makes me realize ♪
371
00:15:53,859 --> 00:15:58,939
♪ You're far from perfect ♪
372
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:02,051
♪ When we moved in together ♪
373
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,660
♪ I learned things
I never knew ♪
374
00:16:04,658 --> 00:16:07,428
♪ That you sit for number one ♪
375
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:09,142
♪ But you stand for number two ♪
376
00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:11,648
♪ Not even close,
it's kind of gross. ♪
377
00:16:11,646 --> 00:16:14,016
That last one is not true.
378
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:16,359
I hover 'cause I'm afraid
of being flushed.
379
00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,199
Oh, my God.
380
00:16:18,197 --> 00:16:19,467
Ashlee took the things
I told her
381
00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:20,908
in new-friend confidence
382
00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:25,317
and made it into
a bad boyfriend song.
383
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,589
This has been quite the morning.
384
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:30,544
But I'm most disappointed
in you, Maggie.
385
00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:32,036
Mm? Eh?
386
00:16:32,039 --> 00:16:35,379
Evil triumphs
when good babies do nothing.
387
00:16:35,382 --> 00:16:38,762
I'm leaving.
388
00:16:38,761 --> 00:16:41,941
Homer? What happened? Aw.
389
00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:44,406
I can't believe
they would do this to me.
390
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:45,679
Hey, could I use
391
00:16:45,681 --> 00:16:48,961
your billion-dollar
entertainment complex
392
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:51,667
to produce a diss track
to take them all down?
393
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,036
You should be careful with that.
394
00:16:53,036 --> 00:16:55,106
When my dermatologist
wouldn't fly to Japan
395
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:56,649
to remove a culturally
insensitive mole,
396
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:59,288
I hit him with my single
397
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:01,628
"Mole Check, Soul Check."
398
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,369
It destroyed him.
399
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:05,867
Do you want to do that
to your family?
400
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:08,254
No. I love them.
401
00:17:08,248 --> 00:17:11,628
Homer, music isn't just
for dissing people.
402
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:13,056
Wha...?!
403
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:15,043
Why don't we make a video
that tells your family
404
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:15,935
how much they hurt you?
405
00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:18,748
An "I've been dissed" track,
406
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:23,997
- if you will.
- I will.
407
00:17:23,996 --> 00:17:25,996
It's been three days.
408
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,582
Dad's never
stayed mad this long.
409
00:17:28,577 --> 00:17:30,647
Maybe we should
run the can opener.
410
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,659
He always comes
when he hears that.
411
00:17:32,656 --> 00:17:33,656
I tried that already.
412
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,858
- (whimpers)
- (burps)
413
00:17:35,864 --> 00:17:40,014
Tomorrow, we'll start
calling theme park jails.
414
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:42,820
- Homie!
- Dad!
- Where you been?
415
00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:47,899
- LISA: Hmm?
- MARGE: Hmm.
416
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,111
♪ One opinionated man ♪
417
00:17:50,107 --> 00:17:51,977
♪ Doesn't stand a chance ♪
418
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,959
-♪ Against an army of tweens ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Damn tweens ♪
419
00:17:54,955 --> 00:17:57,895
♪ It's like trying to fight
an angry hill of ants ♪
420
00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,328
♪ Flying on the backs ♪
421
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:04,224
-♪ Of killer bees ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Killer bees ♪
422
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,986
HOMER:
♪ I don't change ♪
423
00:18:05,989 --> 00:18:08,629
♪ My shorts no more ♪
424
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,270
♪ Glitter bombs inside my ♪
425
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:12,507
-♪ Undie drawer ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Undie drawer ♪
426
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,248
♪ The word "family"
has a bitter ring ♪
427
00:18:15,249 --> 00:18:16,789
ECHO:
♪ Bitter ring ♪
428
00:18:16,787 --> 00:18:19,187
HOMER:
♪ It's my family who's been ♪
429
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:23,474
-♪ Glittering ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Glittering ♪
430
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:30,933
♪ It's my family ♪
431
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:31,900
Breakfast and betrayal.
432
00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:34,709
Pancakes bitter in my mouth,
433
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,818
yet I ate seven.
434
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,087
You sent an army
435
00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:42,827
against those who are me.
436
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,802
You three took.
437
00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:46,144
Three-took,
438
00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:48,852
the opposite of for-give.
439
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:57,070
Yet, I forgive.
440
00:18:57,074 --> 00:19:00,594
-♪ Marge ♪
- ECHO: ♪ You brought
joy and dinner to my life ♪
441
00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:02,825
♪ You're still
a Fudgie Whale of a wife ♪
442
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:05,935
-♪ Even when I do things wrong ♪
- HOMER: I wrong do things!
443
00:19:05,935 --> 00:19:09,445
ECHO: ♪ Like pass out
on the lawn at crack of dawn ♪
444
00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:11,415
- HOMER: ♪ Bart ♪
- ECHO: ♪ This verse
goes out to Bartholomew ♪
445
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,687
- HOMER: Why, you little...!
- ECHO:
♪ When I smell mothballs ♪
446
00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:15,131
♪ Now I think beef stew ♪
447
00:19:15,128 --> 00:19:18,708
♪ Why, you little... You ♪
448
00:19:18,707 --> 00:19:21,377
♪ You're kind of cool,
stay in school ♪
449
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:24,360
- HOMER: ♪ Lisa ♪
- ECHO: ♪ You don't suffer fools
or eat baloney ♪
450
00:19:24,355 --> 00:19:27,865
- HOMER: ♪ Mmm, baloney ♪
- ECHO: ♪ Just jamming on your
brass saxo-ma-phony ♪
451
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,237
♪ You're my little
lampshade girl ♪
452
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,860
♪ In white pearls,
you're my world ♪
453
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:36,755
♪ 'Cause we ♪
454
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:39,571
♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪
455
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,439
♪ Can bring this war down ♪
456
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,810
HOMER:
♪ Can bring this war down ♪
457
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:46,322
ECHO:
♪ Can bring this war down,
we, me ♪
458
00:19:46,322 --> 00:19:48,702
♪ You three and Maggie ♪
459
00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,707
-♪ Will be okay now ♪
- HOMER: ♪ Will be okay now ♪
460
00:19:51,706 --> 00:19:54,306
ECHO:
♪ We going to be okay now,
if we ♪
461
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:57,893
♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪
462
00:19:57,891 --> 00:20:00,131
-♪ Just stick together ♪
- HOMER: ♪ If we just ♪
463
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,130
♪ If we stick together ♪
464
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,983
ECHO:
♪ We, me ♪
465
00:20:04,978 --> 00:20:08,188
♪ You three and Maggie
could stop ♪
466
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:11,597
♪ A meltdown ♪
467
00:20:11,598 --> 00:20:13,768
To stop this war,
468
00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:15,811
we don't need a grand gesture.
469
00:20:15,811 --> 00:20:17,981
We don't need to make a stand.
470
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:22,504
We just need
to sit down together.
471
00:20:22,496 --> 00:20:24,266
(crying)
472
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:26,639
I'm sorry I betrayed you.
473
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,853
We're all sorry
Lisa betrayed you.
474
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,493
ALL:
Mm.
475
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,130
LISA:
Sorry! Accident.
476
00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:34,299
Forgot where I put them all.
477
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,269
There's probably more.
478
00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:37,411
(all coughing)
479
00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:39,978
LISA:
That's gonna happen for a while.
480
00:20:39,983 --> 00:20:42,123
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
481
00:20:42,122 --> 00:20:43,632
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
482
00:20:43,627 --> 00:20:44,897
and TOYOTA.
483
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:51,618
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
484
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,757
- (doorbell rings)
- Mr. Simpson,
485
00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:56,629
the Murmur Nation has decided
to stop attacking you.
486
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:57,702
My video made you think, huh?
487
00:20:57,703 --> 00:21:00,513
No. It was super cringe,
488
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:02,581
like watching
two teachers make out.
489
00:21:02,584 --> 00:21:04,124
I understand. Been a pleasure
doing war with you.
490
00:21:04,122 --> 00:21:08,702
May psychotic super-fandom
always lend meaning
491
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:12,012
to your otherwise
anonymous existence.
492
00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:13,153
BOY: Hmm.
493
00:21:13,149 --> 00:21:14,819
(all grunting)
494
00:21:14,821 --> 00:21:17,761
It's crazy that
I believed in someone
495
00:21:17,763 --> 00:21:21,613
so much that I got
swallowed up in groupthink.
496
00:21:21,608 --> 00:21:24,048
I know. So scary.
497
00:21:24,048 --> 00:21:26,318
(gasps) Oh, my God,
we're late for church!
498
00:21:26,322 --> 00:21:31,442
I'll get nice, crisp dollars
for the donation basket.
499
00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,937
Shh.36315
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