All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 34x03 - Lisa the Boy Scout.WEB.HULU.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,605 (tires screech) 2 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,382 D'oh! 3 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,246 -(tires screeching) -(grunting) 4 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,586 ♪ 5 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,672 I am so excited for the scout jamboree this weekend. 6 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,536 Dad, hand over the family bugle! 7 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,836 Here she is! 8 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,837 Old Blowy. 9 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,069 (blows bad note) 10 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,983 -(fanfare playing) - Hmm? 11 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,976 What? You're not a boy! 12 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,848 You can't join the Boy Explorers! 13 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,777 And that's a flugelhorn! 14 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,982 Yes. It's the hardest horn. 15 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,994 And, FYI, I did join. 16 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,516 And I already have three badges... 17 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,892 environmentalism, 18 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,960 badge-receiving, 19 00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,888 and sibling rivalry. 20 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,563 Come on, you two... 21 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,962 MALE HACKER (distorted): Attention, corporate overlords, 22 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,204 we are Pseudo-nonymous, 23 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,340 and we have taken over this broadcast. 24 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:12,536 We are the anarchist collective of nameless hacktivists 25 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,539 who published the internal emails of Waffle House 26 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,552 and brought Home Depot's "Find a store near you" feature 27 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,046 to its knees. 28 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:25,188 FEMALE HACKER: Now we have hacked into the Disney Corporation's servers 29 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:29,255 and seized hundreds of hours of never-before-aired footage 30 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,256 from the television show The Simpsons. 31 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,699 Stories so ill-conceived, 32 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,195 so idiotic 33 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,226 that their exposure would destroy 34 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,442 the value of the very I. P. itself. 35 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,605 Until we are paid a ransom of $20 million in Bitcoin, 36 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,736 we will air these show-destroying scenes 37 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,112 one after another, 38 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,250 starting now. 39 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,115 No, no, it can't be true! 40 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,947 It is true, Carl. 41 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,022 There never was a Lenny. 42 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,661 So Lenny was just a figment of my imagination? 43 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,288 I... I made him up? 44 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,403 Yeah, your psyche created "Lenny" 45 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,955 to help you deal with a terrible trauma there. 46 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,644 - What trauma? - Finding out your previous best friend wasn't real. 47 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,235 It's kind of a thing with you. 48 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:19,566 Huh. Hey, I haven't seen you in here before. 49 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,243 I'm Carl. What's your name? 50 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,081 Nice to meet you, Steven. 51 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,276 Aw, crap, here we go again. 52 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,553 Now you see we mean business, Disney. 53 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:32,549 You will submit $20 million in Bitcoin to our crypto wallet 54 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,623 at the following address. 55 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,991 Until the payment arrives, 56 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,729 we will keep playing these nonsensical clips 57 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,055 no one was ever meant to see. 58 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,927 What's his name? 59 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,172 Number Eight. 60 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,536 I mean, Santa's Little Helper. 61 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:49,995 (thunder crashes) 62 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,873 Greetings, lamewads from the past! 63 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,383 I have come back in time to reveal the events of the future, 64 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,106 so that you can amaze the world 65 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:03,222 with your uncannily accurate predictions! 66 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,347 Less yelling, more foretelling. 67 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,592 My first shocking prediction is, 68 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,888 in 2016, 69 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:12,589 the Nobel Prize in Economics will go to... 70 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,603 Bengt R. Holmstr öm! 71 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,025 Why would anyone care if we predicted that? 72 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,400 I don't know, but they will. 73 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,098 Do you have anything a little more... 74 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,000 oh, impressive? 75 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,602 Donald Trump is gonna be president. 76 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,544 (screams) Less impressive! Less impressive! 77 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,680 Okay, let's see. You're gonna want to mention gas hoarding, 78 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:30,876 pandemics, 79 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,908 Germany beats Brazil in the 2014 World Cup, 80 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,124 Disney buys Fox. 81 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,975 And then they both go under?! 82 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,354 No, they're both absorbed by Panda Express. 83 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,063 Pretty much everything now is Panda Express. 84 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,485 - That makes sense. - I get it. 85 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,560 Ooh! Orange chicken. 86 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,828 Arr. 87 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,843 Yarr. 88 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,395 Aye. 89 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,673 - Yarr! - Aye! 90 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,435 (gulping) 91 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,580 Yarr? 92 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,035 (chuckles): Aye. 93 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,953 Yarr! 94 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,348 Aye! 95 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,649 Aye? 96 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,524 Yarr. 97 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,662 Aye? 98 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,687 Yarr! 99 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,259 Aye? 100 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,160 Yarr! 101 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,901 - Aye! Aye! - Yarr! Yarr! 102 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,227 - Aye! - Yarr! 103 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,267 Aye! 104 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,069 (sighs): Aye! 105 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,710 (sighs): 106 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,335 Yarr. 107 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:38,084 - Yarr, yarr, yarr, yarr...! - Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye! 108 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,615 Till the morrow, chums! 109 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,518 (groans) 110 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,119 -(children laughing) -(humming happily) 111 00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,390 (groans) 112 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,331 WOMAN (New York accent): Is that you, babe? 113 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,497 (New York accent): Yeah, yeah, I'm home. 114 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:58,395 - Daddy! Daddy! How was school? - Hey. 115 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,628 It ain't school for Daddy, sweetheart. 116 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,774 It's work. 117 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:05,008 Soul-sucking, grueling work. 118 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,365 Then why don't you quit? 119 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,943 Always with the quitting, this one. 120 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,382 I can't do that, Doreen! 121 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,878 The police department needs someone inside the school! 122 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,993 So why's it got to be you? 123 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,045 Look at me, Didi. 124 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,052 I'm the only 36-year-old 125 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,024 who can pass for ten! 126 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,033 How 'bout passing for a good father? 127 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,525 The kids hardly know you. 128 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,697 You're out every afternoon till 3:00 p. m. 129 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,626 4:00 if there's chess club. 130 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,032 You think I want to be there? 131 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,573 Martin likes chess! 132 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,398 Not me! 133 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:41,741 I don't know where Martin ends and my Reggie begins! 134 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,982 (crying) 135 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,675 Aw, maybe you're right. 136 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,494 Maybe I am in too deep. 137 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,856 It's just, when I was diagnosed with... this, 138 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,156 I said, "I'm not gonna let it beat me. 139 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,258 I'm gonna use it for good!" 140 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,860 I'm doing good, aren't I? 141 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,033 You are, Reg. 142 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,831 You're a great role model for your kids. 143 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,844 All three of 'em. 144 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,636 (gasps) You mean...? 145 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,937 I do. 146 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,009 (distorted): They still haven't paid the ransom. 147 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,338 Did they not see the nonsense we just released? 148 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,514 How is Martin Prince an adult cop? 149 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,753 (distorted): Well, maybe I overestimated 150 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,918 how much Disney cares about Lenny. 151 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,587 No, it's not your fault. 152 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,216 You're the finest digital terrorist I know. 153 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:31,932 Your malware shut down the Portland Airport for two weeks. 154 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,125 (chuckles) Everyone missed Thanksgiving. 155 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,398 It's sweet you remembered. 156 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,867 Aw, you're sweet, too. (chuckles) 157 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,498 We should probably get back to... 158 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,643 (non-distorted): blackmailing the major corporation. 159 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,938 Wait! Why did the voice-changing app switch off? 160 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:51,311 (non-distorted British voice): Bollocks. I didn't upgrade to the premium edition, 161 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,851 and the free trial period ran out, I'm afraid. 162 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,747 I am so daft. 163 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,349 Oh, my God, you're British? 164 00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,991 That must be delightful for your wife or girlfriend. 165 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,388 Oh, no, I'm painfully single. 166 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,089 Nary a romantic appointment in my "shed-you-ul." 167 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,992 Say that last part again. 168 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,264 You mean... "shed-you-ul"? 169 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,103 (sultrily): Shed-you-ul. 170 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,069 MALE HACKER: Shed-you-ul. 171 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,735 -(moaning) -(masks clacking) 172 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,110 Oh! We're back on! We're live! 173 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,308 Well, I-I suppose we should threaten them some more. 174 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,950 How about I just run another batch of show-ruining clips 175 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,077 so we can... 176 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,051 Topple the capitalist system 177 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,650 and its bought-and-paid-for... 178 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,562 Political enablers. 179 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,987 (speaking French) 180 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,191 (chuckles) 181 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,725 OPERATOR: Do you speak English? 182 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,209 We're trapped! Someone get help! 183 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,654 I can't help if I can't understand you. 184 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,117 Won't anyone do something?! 185 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,701 (groans) Never mind. 186 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,670 Let me get this straight. 187 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,681 You mowed down all that corn to build a football field, 188 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,845 hoping it would lure the ghosts of former players 189 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,805 down from football heaven? 190 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,284 Uh-huh. And look! 191 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,188 Hey, I don't recognize any of these guys. 192 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,918 Why are there two 50-yard lines? 193 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,194 Aw, damn it! 194 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,332 I built a Canadian field! 195 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,601 Oh. Sorry, hoser. 196 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,696 My bad, eh? 197 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,127 Hey, nice rouge there, Gordo. 198 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,103 Hey, Homer! Throw you a Hail Mary? 199 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,402 Shut up, Flutie. 200 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,676 Uh, yes. (clears throat) The day is Sol, uh, 150. 201 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,806 I am stranded on Mars. 202 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:08,951 I suspect my fellow astronauts left me behind on purpose, 203 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,479 as from the bathroom 204 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,694 I did hear the giggling and the shushing 205 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:16,186 and the "Blast off quick before he's done tinkling." 206 00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:19,790 I have a mere three days of air and water remaining. 207 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,233 There is no hope. 208 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,229 Unless I glayvenate the hydrogen, 209 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,771 flavenize the oxygen, 210 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,366 and, yes, yes, poopulate the soil! 211 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:31,408 It was a simple matter of applying pseudoscience 212 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:35,275 and phantasmagorical engineering to the problem. Yes. 213 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,345 Oh, yes, I also cloned myself for company. 214 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,475 And my fellow Frinks have built us all 215 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,350 an escape rocket. Isn't that wonderful? 216 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,419 (clones laughing, chattering) 217 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,889 Leaving! 218 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,757 (gasps) 219 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,055 Aw, flayvin me in the glayvin! 220 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,363 Hello. This is Homer Simpson. 221 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,431 From the bottom of my heart, I apologize 222 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,670 to the great, great, great people of Finland 223 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:00,696 for what I said. 224 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,671 I have done many, many, 225 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,809 many, many, many episodes, 226 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,735 and in one of those... just one... 227 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,380 I mixed you up with Norway. 228 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:13,005 And I have so, so, so, so, so much love and respect for... 229 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,923 I think "Finns" is what you're called. 230 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,675 And if I ever... I mean ever... 231 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,493 ever, ever, ever thought 232 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,215 that an innocent slip of the tongue 233 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,960 is something that an entire nation 234 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,215 could get worked up about, 235 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,433 I would've kept my mouth shut. 236 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,325 And the scary, scary, scary, oh-so-scary lawyers 237 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,669 of the giant, giant... I mean giant... 238 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:35,095 so, so giant, scary corporation I work for 239 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,802 would not have had to draft this statement. 240 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,114 God bless you 241 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,976 and all the peoples of South America, 242 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,475 for you are a... What? 243 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,878 What do you mean I have to record it again? 244 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,150 What did I say? 245 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,958 You're chewing too loud. 246 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,887 From now on, only two chews per bite. 247 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,603 One, two, swallow. One, two, swallow. 248 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:07,196 I think I've misplaced my appetite, mother. 249 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:13,136 I need to see you right now. 250 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,111 I deserve this. 251 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,552 I deserve to feel like a man. 252 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:26,189 Only with you do I truly feel alive. 253 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,686 I made this just for you. 254 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,019 Thank you, Mother. 255 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:35,504 Anything for my son. I am so proud of you. 256 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,195 Oh, Mommy. I can't wait another second. 257 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,898 You know I need it. 258 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,100 (sultry music playing) 259 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,790 I almost forgot to give you this. 260 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,688 Leave it on the dresser. 261 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,930 If only that were my real mother. 262 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:14,270 (groans) If only that were my real son. 263 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,509 (Homer humming happily) 264 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,565 I don't mean to be unneighborly, but, uh, 265 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,384 you wouldn't know what happened to my old nostril skirt? 266 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:27,207 Mustache you say? Hmm, let me think. 267 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:30,684 Stroking this goatee I've always had. 268 00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,424 Stroking, stroking... 269 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,089 That's it. Boys, we're Jewish now. 270 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,629 - ROD: L'chaim! - TODD: To life! 271 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,764 Mmm. (swallows) 272 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,973 From bun to pickle, a masterpiece. 273 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:49,435 The exquisite flavor is matched only by the peerless mouthfeel. 274 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,696 Five stars. 275 00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,244 Bravo, Harvey Comics, bravo. 276 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,710 A stunning addition to the Casper-verse. 277 00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,679 No notes. Ten stars. 278 00:12:57,678 --> 00:13:00,148 With this level of sour cream in your blood, 279 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,177 your brain is completely starved of oxygen. 280 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,423 Consequently, you're a moron. 281 00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:09,019 A perfect explanation. Succinct and devastating. 282 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,792 Infinite stars! 283 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,501 Best. Diagnosis. Ev... (groaning) 284 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:21,944 Give me a beer, pally. 285 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,935 Hey, I know you, don't I? 286 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,407 Nah, must be thinking of someone else, slim. 287 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,736 No, I've definitely seen you around town. 288 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:30,983 Sign here, chief. 289 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,748 Here's your passport, gorgeous. 290 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,676 Brake pads are shot, tough guy. 291 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,051 Want that toasted, honcho? 292 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,849 Found your car keys, big shot. 293 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,321 Those were all you! 294 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,149 I don't know what to tell you, slick. 295 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,494 Just got that sort of face. 296 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,597 ALL: Pally-pally-pally-pally-pally- 297 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:53,595 pally-pally-pally-pally-pally- pally-pally-pally-pally-pally... 298 00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:56,898 (moaning, smooching) 299 00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,414 (exclaims) 300 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,735 - Oh, my God, you're beautiful. - You're more beautiful! 301 00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,143 Oh. Oh, dear. 302 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,314 The world has seen our exquisite symmetrical faces. 303 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,624 Then they've also seen that we're... in love? 304 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,817 My God. Yes. 305 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,718 Yes, that's what it is, isn't it? 306 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,560 It is. (stammers) It is stunning. 307 00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,726 As stunning as this list of abandoned episodes 308 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,495 that started as clever titles and went nowhere. 309 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,497 ♪ Hopin' for the dream ♪ 310 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,900 ♪ Hopin' ♪ 311 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,701 ♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪ 312 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,874 ♪ I'll keep fighting till I want something great ♪ 313 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:37,084 ♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪ 314 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,682 ♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪ 315 00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:46,293 -♪ Hopin' ♪ -♪ To someday, somehow have a goal ♪ 316 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,516 ♪ I'll keep fight... ♪ 317 00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,062 Are we crazy? 318 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,527 Can two people, forbidden from sharing 319 00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:56,196 any personal information, really make a life together? 320 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,196 I do think we owe it to each other to try, 321 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,368 um... whoever you are. 322 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,797 I can't wait 323 00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:05,412 until we're Mr. and Mrs. Redacted. 324 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,205 -(banging on door) - AGENT: FBI. 325 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,738 Surrender, hacker scum! 326 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,183 If we're going down, we'll take The Simpsons with us. 327 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:16,420 - I'm gonna play the dog scene. -(exclaims) 328 00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,394 (upbeat voice): Good morning, Homer. 329 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,732 It's morning?! 330 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,228 -(banging on door) - AGENT: FBI. 331 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,773 We've got you cyberterrorists surrounded. 332 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,998 This is it, darling. 333 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,043 I've cued up the very worst-of-the-worst clips 334 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,308 to play one by one. 335 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,276 When we push this button, The Simpsons dies. 336 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,706 - Together, then? - Together. 337 00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:49,147 The lies... stop... now. 338 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,819 - Aah! -(gasps) 339 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,987 I know Eddie is Ralph's father. 340 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,516 Look at the hair. Look at the hair! 341 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,262 No, Clancy, I swear to you it's not true. 342 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,628 My son's breath smells like cat food. 343 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,158 Okay, you got me. 344 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,235 (quietly): I'll have the veal. 345 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:12,666 The lies... stop... now! 346 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:14,113 (grunts) 347 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,107 I did a DNA test. 348 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,849 I'm not your son. 349 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,845 Luann, how could you?! 350 00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:21,477 I'm not hers either. 351 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,081 We're not your parents? 352 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,594 - All right. - Oh, thank God! 353 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:28,416 - Yes! - Oh... 354 00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:32,663 (weakly): The lies... stop... now. 355 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,029 -(grunts) - Ow! 356 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,157 -(groans) - Marge, 357 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,073 I'm not your sister. 358 00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,825 I'm... your mother. 359 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,773 But... but... wait, what? 360 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:45,938 I was young and briefly hot. It was a different time. 361 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:49,609 Back then, we solved things with huge lies. 362 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,050 Then, who was my real father? 363 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,145 His name was Disco... (grunts) 364 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,048 Disco... (groans) 365 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,691 Disco who? Disco Who? 366 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,788 The lies... stop... now! 367 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,961 (grunts) 368 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,099 Rake-y, I'm not your real father. 369 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:11,055 And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh! 370 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:14,134 Oh, don't turn your back on me. 371 00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:17,135 ♪ 372 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,567 MAN: T-minus one minute to launch. 373 00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:22,543 Ooh. (chuckling) 374 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,183 All for you, baby. 375 00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:25,978 -(growling) - Aah! 376 00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:29,149 Aah! Aah! 377 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,789 ♪ We are the jockeys, jockeys are we ♪ 378 00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:36,986 ♪ We live underground in a fiberglass tree. ♪ 379 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,730 -(screams) - Opa! 380 00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,763 (Simpsons theme playing) 381 00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,295 (grunting) 382 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,000 (screams) 383 00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:52,272 It's still me on the inside. 384 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:59,445 Sin-ner! Sin-ner! 385 00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:05,092 Oh, Homie. You're awake. 386 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,385 - What happened? - You've been in a coma 387 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:10,417 ever since you tried to jump Springfield Gorge. 388 00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:11,464 How long? 389 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,288 Two days ago. 390 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:16,703 Two days? But... I had so many adventures. 391 00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:18,297 More than 700. 392 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:22,198 Those were all coma dreams. None of them ever happened. 393 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,512 (gasps) The "B" stories, too? 394 00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:25,965 (sobbing) 395 00:18:25,973 --> 00:18:28,743 I never had a pet lobster? 396 00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,942 I never went to space? 397 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,354 What about the Halloweens?! 398 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,178 Drop your code and move away from the Internet! 399 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,824 You're both under arrest. 400 00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,189 On what charge, grand theft heart? 401 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,288 Conspiracy to commit to love? 402 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,330 Willfully endangering each other's loneliness? 403 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,956 Take one more step and I'll blow this I. P. 404 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,132 to Magic Kingdom come. 405 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,871 Go ahead. You've already released all the Simpsons files. 406 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,067 No one cared. 407 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,368 The only people still watching that show 408 00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:59,040 are football fans who passed out with the TV on. 409 00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,679 I am not talking about The Simpsons. 410 00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:03,905 We've hacked into all of Disney. 411 00:19:03,911 --> 00:19:07,151 That means Star Wars, Marvel, Pixar. 412 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,477 We've even got... 413 00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,422 Nat Geo. 414 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,747 You monsters. 415 00:19:11,752 --> 00:19:14,792 If I press this button, the only Hulk that exists 416 00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,458 will be Edward Norton. 417 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,086 It'll be like Ruffalo never happened. 418 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:20,462 You're bluffing. 419 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:23,000 I'll delete Baby Groot, Baby Yoda, 420 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,796 and their brand-new top secret character... 421 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,670 Baby Jeff Goldblum. 422 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,809 On the one hand, uh, "goo," 423 00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:37,905 but I'd be remiss if I didn't also mention, uh, "gaa." 424 00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,611 Oh, my golly. 425 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,123 It's me as a baby. 426 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,115 Good God, she's not bluffing. 427 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:45,987 Stand down. Let 'em go. 428 00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:49,186 I'll do it. 429 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,829 Um... we now return you to your regularly 430 00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,455 "shed-you-uled" programming. 431 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,530 (sighs): Oh. 432 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:58,565 How do you lose two children?! 433 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,435 What kind of jamboree are you running here? 434 00:20:01,435 --> 00:20:03,735 (both shuddering) 435 00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:04,737 (Homer and Marge gasp) 436 00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:06,308 HOMER: Yeah, you're back. 437 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:09,206 (smooching) 438 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,239 Ew. 439 00:20:10,244 --> 00:20:13,214 When we get home, can we turn on the TV 440 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,283 and never, ever go outdoors again? 441 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,224 - Please? - Pretty please? 442 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,560 I've never been prouder of you two. 443 00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:24,927 While you were gone, 444 00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,385 your mom and I almost got divorced 445 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,163 over something insignificant. 446 00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:30,931 Luckily, your dad apologized. 447 00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,971 Yup, I got it down at this point. 448 00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,266 It's all about the eye contact. 449 00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,569 MARGE: He knows what works. 450 00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:40,311 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 451 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,807 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 452 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,279 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 453 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,879 (female hacker whoops, laughs) 454 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:52,554 Maybe we didn't get the Bitcoin, 455 00:20:52,553 --> 00:20:54,223 but we've got each other. 456 00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:55,521 Oh, darling, I think we should do it, 457 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,832 I think we should tell each other our real names. 458 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,355 My name is Ashley. 459 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,630 -(tires screeching) - No! So is mine. 460 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,859 - Oh... - Ashley. 461 00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:05,104 Oh, Ashley. 462 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,638 - Ashley, Ashley. - Oh, oh, British Ashley. Mmm... 463 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,415 Shh!32351

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