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1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,712
- Don't pick it.
- D'oh!
2
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,727
498...
3
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,295
499...
4
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,397
It's time.
5
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,004
It's time.
6
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,211
I'm sorry. We're going to have
to pull the plug.
7
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,013
It's time.
8
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,815
See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha!
9
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,722
All ears on me!
10
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,092
For 37 years,
we've played shuffleboard
11
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:01,195
against our crosstown rivals.
12
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,097
The Golden Exits
Retirement Farm.
13
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,068
Those rich snobs think
they're better than us,
14
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,671
with their yoga classes,
15
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,706
and their aquacise,
16
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,676
and their name-brand applesauce.
17
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,547
But today we show them
18
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,149
what we can do!
19
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,985
Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts!
20
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,287
Can't lose!
21
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:34,361
Aw, they want something.
22
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,849
No fair.
The other team's got a ringer.
23
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,619
We win!
24
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,255
Yet somehow I feel guilty.
25
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,796
That woman won't stop
staring at me.
26
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,631
I'm not surprised, Marge.
27
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,534
You are a senior home ten.
28
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,004
Do I... know you?
29
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,306
Margie the Meanie?
30
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,508
You've caused me enough trouble!
31
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,210
No! Oh...
32
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,712
Mom, what don't we know
about you?
33
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,448
Marge Bouvier,
34
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,617
you ruined my life!
35
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,754
I never want to see you again!
36
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,494
That is my old principal.
37
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:17,664
Mom, she's treating you like
you were a bad kid in school.
38
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,434
But that's impossible.
39
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,503
Unless...
40
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,305
Well, I... not really.
41
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,909
You were a bad kid in school!
42
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,578
High five. And now you're
trying to lie about it!
43
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,347
We're the same!
44
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,191
We're the same! We're the same!
We're the same!
45
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,651
Oh, I finally have
a parent I am proud of.
46
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,154
Marge.
47
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,924
You must've run
into Principal York.
48
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,827
You made her life a living hell.
49
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,329
It started in middle school.
50
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,631
Middle school.
51
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,667
That's when we were
sopranos in the choir.
52
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,541
Ah! Still got it.
53
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,578
In seventh grade,
I had to switch schools.
54
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,123
We wear top and bottom eyeliner.
55
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,891
Check out this tattoo.
56
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,226
Is that press-on?
57
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,727
Henna.
58
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,599
They were so nasty to me.
59
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:30,938
And then one day,
60
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,906
against a checked-out principal,
61
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,308
you won them over.
62
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,476
The mean girls are
picking on me again.
63
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,345
Well, what do you
expect me to do,
64
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,048
start some kind
of anti-bullying policy?
65
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,483
Also no standing during lunch.
66
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,792
I'll do a lot better
with the next person I hire.
67
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,328
He'll be a win-ner!
68
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,297
The new girl did that.
69
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,932
It was cool.
70
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,034
Cool girl! Cool girl!
71
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,870
I am a cool girl.
72
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,738
Don't check with my old school.
73
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,507
You pranked the principal?
74
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,142
I embarrassed her,
but I shouldn't have.
75
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:12,179
But that didn't stop you
from doing it again.
76
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:18,552
Oh, my God!
We saw the principal's bra.
77
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,187
We've entered...
78
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:21,488
...puberty!
79
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:22,789
And again.
80
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,659
It's not even grammatical.
81
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,931
Oh, my God, Mom,
you're not perfect.
82
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,866
You're so not perfect.
83
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,301
Bart, I'm not...
84
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,104
This is the first hug where
you've ever hugged me back.
85
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,806
Hug you back?
I started the damn hug.
86
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,743
Language, but aw...
87
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,484
Two customers
in the shop at once.
88
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,452
Call the fire marshal.
89
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,254
I want to buy a Batman.
90
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,390
Um, not so fast. Which era?
91
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,725
Which artist?
Dark Knight or Adam West?
92
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:02,296
Sometimes I regret
not finishing medical school.
93
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,998
I was one credit away. One.
94
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,968
I want the one
where Batman eats lasagne.
95
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,571
That is Garfield,
who is not a bat, but a cat.
96
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:14,074
How can someone with such
a big head be so stupid?
97
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:17,110
That is so cruel,
picking on that poor Wiggum boy.
98
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,613
Someone should teach him
a lesson.
99
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,215
Someone who's not afraid
100
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,584
to be a hero to her son.
101
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,853
Do it, Marge. Prank that guy.
102
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,287
Superman?
103
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,891
Uh, for legal reasons,
you can call me Uber Hombre.
104
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,093
Once again
the lack of clear copyright
105
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,162
in my country has screwed me.
106
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,964
My copyright expired.
107
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,966
Would you like to be
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
108
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,701
No, thank you.
109
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,503
Maybe something should be done.
110
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,040
Why, look,
if it isn't Lex Loser.
111
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,843
Stop working the package to see
112
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,845
what the middle comic is
in the three-pack.
113
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,514
Take your chances like a man.
114
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,283
But I want to see
if the middle one is valuable.
115
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:58,318
The middle comic is
never valuable.
116
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,088
It's there to take up space
like lettuce on a hamburger,
117
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,190
a seat filler at the Emmys,
118
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,358
or you.
119
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,299
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy?
120
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,301
I have more money
than you've ever seen
121
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,136
in this store.
122
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,773
Yes, sir,
and may I offer you a snack?
123
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,175
You serve snacks?
124
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,910
For valued customers, yes.
125
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,012
Have a mint, or if you prefer,
126
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,347
a near mint.
Could I interest you
127
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:30,150
in this very emotional
Spider-Man, in which
128
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,520
Peter Parker confronts and
forgives the spider who bit him?
129
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,456
A comic book's arch enemy!
130
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:37,891
Cola! No!
131
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,593
Oh, God! Oh!
132
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,129
Oh, God! Ah!
133
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,531
To quote the immortal Shaggy:
134
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,466
"Zoinks!"
135
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,856
What's so funny?
136
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,457
Mom and I...
137
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,627
...did a prank together.
138
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,028
Shh! Sweetie.
139
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,230
Whoa, wait a minute.
140
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,198
So Bart gets his wild side
141
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,734
from his mother?
That makes no sense.
142
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,536
Boys get stuff from their dads,
143
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,205
like their favorite
baseball team, mental disorders,
144
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,008
and the lame joke
they tell every waiter.
145
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,710
Say, Maggie?
146
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,912
Why don't you get this one?
147
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,316
Imagine, a baby paying a check.
148
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,852
Well, maybe Bart's
pranking allele
149
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,854
is on the maternal chromosome.
150
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,524
The only part
of that I understood
151
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:44,825
was "allele."
152
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,460
I'm talking Mendelian genetics.
153
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,496
Young lady, we do not discuss
that at the dinner table.
154
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,365
Now pass the peas.
155
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,469
Hmm. How come
one quarter are yellow?
156
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,572
So Bart's not like me,
157
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,140
Lisa's not like me.
158
00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:02,943
There will be no evidence
I was ever on this earth.
159
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,312
Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie.
160
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,621
How many times
I got to tell you, Homer?
161
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,757
No outside peas.
162
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,328
It's just that I realized the
kids totally take after Marge.
163
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,664
- Nothing from me.
- Come on, Homer.
164
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,266
There's got to be something
you passed on to your kids.
165
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,569
That adorable way you pout?
166
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,038
Uh, the way you can burp-sing
167
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:32,306
the national anthem?
168
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,308
Great chiming in today, guys.
169
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,144
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
- Appreciate it.
170
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,948
There is something
we have in common, Dad.
171
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,683
That we're both made
out of beer?
172
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,385
No, something deeper. Profound.
173
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,920
Dark beer?
174
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,889
You'll have
to figure it out yourself.
175
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,625
Oh, I hate
when foam makes me think.
176
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,429
Hey, you guys have forgotten
one thing.
177
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:57,164
Lisa Simpson.
178
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,766
She is 100% scientific proof
179
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,134
that I exist.
180
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:03,871
To Lisa "What's
Her Middle Name" Simpson.
181
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,907
Daddy's little girl.
182
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,076
No clinking? What's wrong?
183
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,611
Yeah, well, truth be told,
184
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:14,047
uh, none of us was positive
Lisa was really your kid.
185
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,016
She's smart as a whip.
186
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,885
- Wha...?
- She can control her temper.
187
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,553
Why, you...!
188
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,154
You look exactly like her
189
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,391
if she was a big, fat,
bald guy, which she's not.
190
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,726
In the least.
191
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,194
For your information,
192
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:29,096
I'm gonna find a wonderful bond
193
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,131
between myself
and my little girl.
194
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:35,302
And you childless loners
are gonna be so jealous.
195
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,872
You losers will never have this!
196
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,007
Losers!
197
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,875
Oh, right, Maggie's in the car.
198
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,178
Shut the damn door!
199
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,916
Marge, I see you're buying.
200
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,018
Slaughterhouse Sweepins
brand hot dogs.
201
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,619
It must be so easy to shop
202
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:55,923
when anything's good enough
for your family.
203
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,259
No. No more pranking.
204
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,629
Now we've got to buy food
before the prices go up.
205
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,801
Timothy and I prefer
Opera House Franks.
206
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,703
Maybe you've seen
their commercials?
207
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,271
Oh, wait,
they're only advertised
208
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:14,308
on premium cable channels.
209
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,291
I need a price check on a pack
210
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,594
of Gassy Granny Underwear.
211
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,028
That's not mine.
212
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,064
How did it get in my cart?
213
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,433
I also need a price check
214
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,603
on a gallon of Sober by Six
Day Drinker's Gin,
215
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,138
Lady Stinkfoot Insoles,
216
00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:48,008
The Marvelous Mrs. Miser's
Week-Old Bread,
217
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,310
Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment,
218
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,514
FEMA Brand Emergency
Toilet Paper...
219
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,950
and Garbage Mouth Bad Breath
Neutralizing Suppositories.
220
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,863
Vegetarians like food?
221
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,799
Is that pulled pork
dripping with cheese?
222
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,435
Uh, yes,
except instead of cheese,
223
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,305
I'm using cashew paste
with nutritional yeast
224
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:20,908
and for pork,
I'm substituting jackfruit.
225
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,576
No pork?
226
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,012
Jackfruit is vegan, abundant,
227
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,947
and no plucking,
so it's cruelty-free.
228
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,549
Try some.
229
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,985
Hmm, not bad, not bad.
230
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,688
This is it... food is our thing.
231
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,223
Well, if you like jackfruit,
232
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,792
I know a place you will love.
233
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,462
It's probably
not what you're thinking.
234
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,501
Please give me the best
kombucha you have on tap,
235
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:50,771
and a bottle
of your finest liquid aminos.
236
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:53,574
You got it. Namaste.
237
00:12:56,577 --> 00:12:59,379
Mmm. Jicama sticks.
238
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,116
Dad, do you like this food?
239
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,819
Oh, sweetie, I love this meal.
240
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,055
I hated that meal.
241
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,657
Oh, thank God I keep
an emergency sausage
242
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,492
beside the bed.
243
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,127
Ew, what is this?
244
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,863
It's a ground-up kickball.
245
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,031
I pranked you.
246
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,469
Why, you little...!
247
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,406
Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge?
248
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,509
That's why we shouldn't have
books in the house.
249
00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:31,378
Do you think
I like doing this pranking?
250
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,047
When I'm done laughing,
I hate myself.
251
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,916
I'm behaving like a little brat
252
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,018
and it's made me
a better mother.
253
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,387
But pranking isn't like you,
it's like me.
254
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,389
We can't have two of me
in this marriage.
255
00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:44,324
One of me is enough
for three of us.
256
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:47,461
But I can't stop, 'cause
I've never been closer to Bart.
257
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:51,398
I've waited for a connection
like this for so long.
258
00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:53,767
Longer than
the new Avatar movie.
259
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,135
It's coming, Marge.
260
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:56,770
You've got to have faith.
261
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,939
You sound like James Cameron, Homer.
262
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,708
What if we never see
Pandora again?
263
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,645
The real unobtanium
is the sequel.
264
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,714
Have faith, have faith.
265
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,884
Oh, sorry.
No one's allowed in the store
266
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,953
while Mr. Burns shops
for the right chewing gum.
267
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,721
Are you for real?
268
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,757
I am. He doesn't want to, quote,
269
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,158
"Catch your poverty."
270
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,426
Double mint?
271
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,595
A little too strong
for my liking.
272
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:23,931
My baby has a rash!
273
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,133
And it makes her
a wiggle monster.
274
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:30,070
Babies. When will you learn
that old people are our future?
275
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,773
Please!
276
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,675
Sorry,
I have a medical condition
277
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,343
where I don't give a damn.
278
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:47,621
He'll just fall
279
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,923
into that soft grass over there.
280
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:08,308
Oh, my God, Bart.
We went too far.
281
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,944
You mean you went too far.
282
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,212
We've never been closer!
283
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,986
Marge, you're incredibly lucky
Mr. Burns is okay.
284
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,954
It taught me a lesson, Smithers.
285
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,990
- Life could end at any moment.
- Mm-hmm.
286
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,025
So we have to jam as much evil
287
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,661
as possible
into each remaining day.
288
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,807
What are you looking at?
289
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,442
Marge, I don't understand.
290
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:44,711
What made you attack
that hateful,
291
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,947
nasty, hateful old man?
292
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,149
Um, I was taught that a lady
293
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,085
should never express
or experience emotions.
294
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,821
And I don't,
except every couple of decades
295
00:15:54,855 --> 00:15:57,824
I snap.
Otherwise I'm just simmering,
296
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:59,593
simmering,
simmering, simmering,
297
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:02,272
- simmering, simmering...
- You must have been such a good little girl.
298
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,731
I don't want to talk
anymore today.
299
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:08,135
Well, it's up to you. We can
do this over 20 costly years,
300
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:10,070
or you can have
your breakthrough now.
301
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,606
Oh, people can have
instant breakthroughs?
302
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,641
Not people with good insurance,
303
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,343
but yours is lousy.
304
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:19,947
Oh, my God!
305
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,616
It's okay. It's okay.
306
00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:24,618
Therapists almost
never give useful advice,
307
00:16:24,685 --> 00:16:27,187
but here's what you do:
Just find your old principal,
308
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,356
make your peace,
and you'll feel better.
309
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:30,624
Are you sure?
310
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:34,328
As sure as I am I really
don't want to see you again.
311
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,699
Bart, I-I'm sorry.
312
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,434
Pranking is selfish and unkind.
313
00:16:40,534 --> 00:16:43,537
Even if it's hilarious.
I'm done.
314
00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:44,738
Mom, no!
315
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,773
I don't know
who I am without pranking.
316
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,308
It's in our blood.
317
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,378
Like when you had me,
that was a total prank on Dad.
318
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,282
If you give it up,
you're giving me up!
319
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,156
Okay, fine.
320
00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:06,093
I think I have
one more prank left in me.
321
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:09,263
And it's gonna be a real doozy.
322
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,933
I love the way you say cool
things in lame ways.
323
00:17:15,936 --> 00:17:18,305
This is great. So great.
324
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,841
I would kill the Easter Bunny
for one meatball.
325
00:17:20,941 --> 00:17:23,410
- Now, we shred in some kale.
- Oh, no.
326
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,346
- And Brussels sprouts, tofu,
- You're killing me.
327
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,882
- Bell peppers, mushrooms,
- I'm gagging! Oh!
328
00:17:29,016 --> 00:17:31,218
- Broccolini, artichokes.
- Don't say... oh!
329
00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:33,187
- Want some blueberries?
- Ew! Yuck!
330
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:34,621
Ooh, sunflower seeds.
331
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,399
You know, if a bag of
pig knuckles fell in there,
332
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,091
it wouldn't be
the end of the world.
333
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,694
Dad, I love you,
but I don't want to do this
334
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,462
if you're gonna... Homer it up.
335
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,032
My name is a verb,
meaning "to ruin"?
336
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,000
- That is pretty Homer-ed up.
- I'm sorry.
337
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:49,069
Just try a sip.
338
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,304
What do you think?
339
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:51,905
Soggy and underseasoned.
340
00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:54,474
I'm sorry. I hate this.
341
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:58,245
I have no similarities
with any of my offspring.
342
00:17:58,312 --> 00:18:00,380
My tongue is swelling, too!
343
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,851
Hey! Look at us! Our throats
are closing as one.
344
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,753
Aw. Want to share an ambulance?
345
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:08,856
Yes.
346
00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:10,324
It turns out you two have
347
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,726
many common allergies, including
348
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:14,628
allspice, dust, feathers, fur,
349
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:16,930
the stuff in peanut butter
that isn't peanuts,
350
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:20,033
also peanuts, animal dander,
Irish Spring...
351
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,502
The season and the soap...
352
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:24,738
And the smell of honeysuckle
on a dark Georgia night.
353
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:27,007
What's wrong, Dad?
354
00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:29,009
You're such a great kid.
355
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,612
Sorry I passed down
all those bad parts.
356
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,882
Dad, you passed down the most
important part of yourself.
357
00:18:34,982 --> 00:18:36,550
Your kind heart.
358
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:40,220
I'm afraid
I'm allergic to treacle.
359
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:46,460
I'm here to apologize.
360
00:18:46,527 --> 00:18:49,663
Let me guess,
there's bees inside.
361
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,866
Please, I just want you
to know I'm a good person.
362
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,501
I really am.
363
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,304
Just sniff the flowers,
you'll see.
364
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,408
Oh! Meanie!
365
00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:04,878
We got you!
366
00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:07,981
I've always hated children.
367
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:10,751
¡Ay, caramba!
368
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,424
You're going to juvie
369
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:19,092
and you're going
to women's prison.
370
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,661
And the victim is gonna
be buried
371
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,130
with deceased members
of the Blue Man Group,
372
00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:25,899
which there are
way more than you'd think.
373
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,102
All died in hilarious ways.
374
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,972
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
Please be alive.
375
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,541
I'll never prank again. Never!
376
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,610
We got ya!
377
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,449
Uh-oh, Lou. We have got
a zombie situation here.
378
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,052
Aim for the brain.
It's the only way.
379
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:47,020
Just teaching
a lesson to my son.
380
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,122
She was never dead.
381
00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:50,490
She's a zombie lover, Lou!
382
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,926
Aim for both their heads.
It's the only way.
383
00:19:52,993 --> 00:19:54,595
They're not zombies, Chief.
384
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,663
And neither were the Wilsons.
385
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,932
Uh, don't mention the Wilsons.
386
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:00,799
So, Mom, you taught me
the dangers of pranking
387
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,569
while pulling an awesome prank.
388
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:03,770
Lesson learned.
389
00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:05,005
Have some peanut brittle.
390
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:07,074
Mm-hmm, no snakes?
391
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:09,643
I took out the snakes and
actually put in peanut brittle.
392
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,145
That's how much I respect you.
393
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,986
Well, you know I love you
and I always will.
394
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,054
But enough with the pranking.
395
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,323
Enough with the pranking.
396
00:20:48,215 --> 00:20:49,483
"Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry
397
00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:50,950
"I put laxatives
in your dog's food.
398
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:52,686
"Then secretly filmed it.
399
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:56,190
"Then sent it to America's
Worst Carpet Disasters.
400
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:59,960
"Then I won. And used the prize
money to buy more laxatives.
401
00:21:00,027 --> 00:21:02,696
Sincerely, Marge."
402
00:21:02,796 --> 00:21:05,866
Another one done.
403
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,535
Well, that's the A's.
404
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,270
"Dear Bernice..."
405
00:21:10,404 --> 00:21:12,940
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION.
406
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,976
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
407
00:21:16,043 --> 00:21:19,213
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
408
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,716
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