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1
00:00:18,871 --> 00:00:20,608
Listen up, ya pukes.
2
00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,446
You're only calling us that
'cause we puked in the van.
3
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,284
You've been sentenced
to complete.
4
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,622
"The Highland Trek
for Troubled Truants"
5
00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:29,526
by the juvenile court.
6
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,195
So why are you in charge?
7
00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:34,402
Because this is my sentence
from the adult court!
8
00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:36,339
Now watch the video.
9
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:39,245
Welcome, wayward teens
and aspiring criminals.
10
00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:41,584
The Highlands Trek will
teach you resilience,
11
00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:44,355
team-building,
collective mindfulness...
12
00:00:44,422 --> 00:00:45,725
Stupid buzzwords!
13
00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:47,027
They mean nothing.
14
00:00:47,127 --> 00:00:49,800
Just get your sorry arses
to Ankle Rock
15
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,469
by tomorrow at noon.
16
00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:53,440
Uh, I'm not really
seeing the ankle.
17
00:00:53,507 --> 00:00:56,346
The ankle doesn't care
what ya see!
18
00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:06,399
Oh, man, this is so lame.
19
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,312
They're just picking on us
because we're thugs
20
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,775
and badasses, right, guys?
21
00:01:10,842 --> 00:01:13,446
Nice backpack, Simpson.
22
00:01:13,514 --> 00:01:16,787
What do you got in there,
ladies' underwear?
23
00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:21,062
Lovely, you've already
isolated the weak one.
24
00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:24,368
But there's
still one more delinquent
25
00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:27,174
to join your scurvy crew.
26
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,086
Hello, fellows.
27
00:01:33,153 --> 00:01:36,225
Oh, my!
I seem to have turtled myself.
28
00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:40,400
Now, Martin, don't forget
your nightly tick check.
29
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,772
You know how they love
the little fat folds
30
00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:44,676
- in your tum-tum.
- Yes, Mother.
31
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:48,116
My magnifying glass and tweezers
are in my toiletry pouch.
32
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,222
Thank you, God!
33
00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:52,759
You sent me a dork so dweeby
34
00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:54,128
even I can pick on him.
35
00:01:54,228 --> 00:01:56,332
Nice backpack, Martin.
36
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:58,938
What do you got in there,
ladies' underwear?
37
00:01:59,005 --> 00:02:00,908
Good one.
38
00:02:02,478 --> 00:02:04,750
Come on, Simpson,
let's get this over with.
39
00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:08,223
Oh, and as you wander aimlessly,
freezing, hungry
40
00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:11,462
and weeping for your mothers,
keep your eyes open.
41
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:14,101
Along the way,
you might just find
42
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:17,509
the greatest of all treasures.
43
00:02:17,575 --> 00:02:18,577
Whoa, treasure.
44
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:20,280
This death march
to stay out of prison
45
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,484
just got interesting.
46
00:02:22,552 --> 00:02:24,556
They're so screwed.
47
00:02:24,656 --> 00:02:27,562
Well, better get off
to me side hustle.
48
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:32,572
Woof, woof! Birthday Dog
says, "Happy birthday."
49
00:02:36,513 --> 00:02:38,183
So, Simpson,
50
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,055
what did you do
to get stuck on this perp hike?
51
00:02:41,155 --> 00:02:42,726
Let's just say I got
a little creative
52
00:02:42,826 --> 00:02:44,896
with some laundry pods.
53
00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:55,518
Not bad.
Juvenile, but delinquent.
54
00:02:55,585 --> 00:02:58,289
Not half as cool
as what I did, though.
55
00:03:04,335 --> 00:03:07,241
What can I say?
I love dining al fresco.
56
00:03:07,341 --> 00:03:09,980
Who doesn't?
But check out what I did.
57
00:03:16,325 --> 00:03:19,165
I wonder what Princey Pants
did to get stuck here?
58
00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:21,770
Nothing. I chose to be here.
59
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,837
Wha...?
60
00:03:22,872 --> 00:03:24,108
This extracurricular activity
61
00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:27,381
will give me an edge with the
most exclusive middle schools.
62
00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:29,418
Carvingsley,
Thistleberry Hall...
63
00:03:29,519 --> 00:03:32,024
Stop being you.
64
00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:34,161
Included in the shoving circle.
65
00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:36,199
Could this day get any better?
66
00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:38,203
Wisteria Country Day...
67
00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:41,610
Hey, Marjorie,
without the boy around,
68
00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:43,814
- maybe we can...
- Mm.
69
00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:45,417
And...
70
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,221
And...
71
00:03:49,191 --> 00:03:51,229
Oh, Homie,
I like two of those things.
72
00:03:51,295 --> 00:03:53,333
And I'll consider the third.
73
00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,174
Non-problem child!
74
00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:59,579
Mom, Dad, with Bart away,
75
00:03:59,679 --> 00:04:03,253
I can now fulfill a dream
I never dared speak aloud.
76
00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:06,192
For one fleeting weekend,
I want to live as...
77
00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:08,062
an only child.
78
00:04:08,129 --> 00:04:10,668
"Only child"? What about Maggie?
79
00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:14,375
Um, I kind of made
alternate arrangements for her.
80
00:04:14,442 --> 00:04:17,281
Time for
a Flip This Bathroom marathon.
81
00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:20,721
Ooh, baby, Mama loves
her terra cotta.
82
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,830
As you can see
on this pie chart,
83
00:04:24,896 --> 00:04:28,403
this is the time you spend on
my older and younger siblings.
84
00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:30,975
So, if you'll just humor
a middle child's
85
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:32,679
most frivolous whimsy,
86
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:35,283
I would like you to spend
the entire weekend
87
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:37,856
focusing only on me.
88
00:04:37,922 --> 00:04:39,158
- No.
- Homer!
89
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:40,761
Of course we will.
90
00:04:40,828 --> 00:04:42,164
Oh, it's wonderful!
91
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:43,767
Oh, and for the next two days,
92
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:46,305
I would like you
to call me Jules.
93
00:04:46,439 --> 00:04:48,711
I think an only child
would have a name
94
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:50,781
like Jules.
95
00:04:51,717 --> 00:04:54,321
Okay!
Our first only-child activity
96
00:04:54,388 --> 00:04:55,958
is gonna be playing horsey.
97
00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:58,062
Start working on your neighs.
98
00:05:28,657 --> 00:05:30,528
Don't worry, guys.
99
00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:33,299
I got this.
100
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:36,940
What the hell was that?
101
00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:39,011
It's a baby goat.
102
00:05:39,078 --> 00:05:40,748
In a cage.
103
00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,421
Yeah, okay, okay.
The best thing to do
104
00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:46,392
is just kick it and leave.
105
00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:49,265
Hold on, goat... G-O-A-T.
106
00:05:49,331 --> 00:05:51,603
This has to be
the "greatest of all treasures"
107
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:54,275
that janitor guy
was talking about.
108
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,978
What kind of treasure is a goat?
109
00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:58,684
Trust me, I've done
all the disciplinary courses.
110
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:02,391
Outward Bound, Inward Pummel,
Empathy Boot Camp.
111
00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,529
They always have
stupid word puzzles,
112
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:06,098
and this is one of them.
113
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:09,238
We got to take the goat
with us back to Ankle Rock.
114
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,677
Hell no...
I don't trust that thing.
115
00:06:11,743 --> 00:06:13,547
Look at those frog-ass eyes.
116
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,618
Which way is he even
supposed to be looking?
117
00:06:17,221 --> 00:06:18,423
Tough nards, goat-scroat.
118
00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,026
It's coming with us.
119
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,665
Welcome to the Troubled Truants.
120
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,522
You know,
this goat's pretty cool.
121
00:06:34,589 --> 00:06:37,595
I think we should call him... Axel.
122
00:06:37,729 --> 00:06:40,501
No way! That name's
reserved for Axl Rose,
123
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,404
the god of heavy metal.
124
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,943
Well, this Axel eats metal.
125
00:06:45,043 --> 00:06:47,582
My hearts of palm!
126
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:50,420
Whoa! Axel likes nerd grub.
127
00:06:50,487 --> 00:06:52,424
Let's see what other
128
00:06:52,491 --> 00:06:53,894
stupid stuff it eats.
129
00:06:53,961 --> 00:06:55,230
My smoothie-shaker!
130
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:56,934
My graphing calculator!
131
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:58,704
My night crocs!
132
00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:04,481
Guys, maybe we should let him
keep some of his stuff?
133
00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:06,553
You're sticking up
for this dorkus?
134
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,391
Maybe you're not the jerk
we thought you were.
135
00:07:11,897 --> 00:07:15,203
Return our sacrificial goat.
136
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:18,644
Or my scythe shall reap
your souls.
137
00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:30,133
Return our goat or die!
138
00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,290
Haw-haw! Haw-haw!
139
00:07:42,357 --> 00:07:43,961
Haw-haw!
140
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,504
I think those skull-heads
were Satanists.
141
00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:51,442
Ah, great,
we finally meet someone cool,
142
00:07:51,543 --> 00:07:53,580
and they want
to chop us in half.
143
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,885
According to the map,
this river goes
144
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,588
right by Ankle Rock.
145
00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:59,491
And, look, Dame Fortune
146
00:07:59,559 --> 00:08:01,797
has gifted us a canoe.
147
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,671
Let's splash this thing.
148
00:08:06,907 --> 00:08:08,911
Come on, Axel, get in the boat.
149
00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:11,850
Forget that stupid chomp horse.
150
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,252
Just leave him.
151
00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:15,190
Yeah, bros before goats.
152
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:18,530
But you said he was
the greatest of all treasures.
153
00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:20,200
I'm allowed to change my mind.
154
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,605
I contain multitudes, dingus.
155
00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:25,343
But if the Satanists find Axel,
they'll slaughter
156
00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:27,515
every last hair
on his chinny chin chin!
157
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:30,020
We can just walk...
It'll take a little longer,
158
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,359
but I can always use
more steps on my FatBit.
159
00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:34,896
- Walk?
- No way!
160
00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:37,034
Okay, Simpson,
you got to choose.
161
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,071
Boat or goat?
162
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:45,083
I guess I'm with Axel.
163
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,187
And... Martin.
164
00:08:48,791 --> 00:08:51,262
Your funeral, nard-bags.
165
00:08:51,362 --> 00:08:53,567
Okay, river, to Ankle Rock.
166
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,805
It's just you and me, chum.
167
00:08:55,871 --> 00:08:58,476
And, good news,
the footbridge across the river
168
00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:00,748
is only eight kilometers away.
169
00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:03,887
This day
just keeps getting better.
170
00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:06,526
This day just keeps
getting better!
171
00:09:06,593 --> 00:09:08,463
Ha! My roll again.
172
00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:10,366
Boy, my turn comes
so much quicker
173
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,605
when there's
only the three of us.
174
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,578
This is pretty fun, Lisa.
175
00:09:15,644 --> 00:09:18,116
I mean, Jules, Jules.
176
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,521
I didn't even know
we had Suffragette Monopoly.
177
00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,892
And there's the box.
178
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:25,263
Because it's been buried
under the games
179
00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:27,100
Bart always gets to play.
180
00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:29,873
And there are the boxes.
181
00:09:29,973 --> 00:09:30,908
Ha! Yay!
182
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,179
You landed on my protest corner.
183
00:09:33,246 --> 00:09:35,049
$250, please.
184
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,185
Fine, here's
185
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:39,258
two Lucretia Motts
and an Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
186
00:09:39,324 --> 00:09:41,262
But I want to wear the hat.
187
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,600
Is that the time?
188
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:44,869
We're way behind on my list
189
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,807
of only-child activities.
190
00:09:46,873 --> 00:09:49,077
Hmm, "stuffed animal high tea,
191
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:50,714
toenail painting party?"
192
00:09:50,815 --> 00:09:52,618
Do I even have toenails?
193
00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,354
Our sourdough should have been
194
00:09:54,455 --> 00:09:56,459
in the proving drawer
20 minutes ago!
195
00:09:56,492 --> 00:09:58,229
Honey, relax.
196
00:09:58,329 --> 00:09:59,766
We have plenty of time.
197
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,970
Bart will be back in 18 hours.
198
00:10:02,037 --> 00:10:03,540
Now, let's get moving, people.
199
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:04,909
If this bread doesn't rise,
200
00:10:04,976 --> 00:10:07,047
you're gonna see a side of Jules
201
00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:08,951
you never knew existed.
202
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:11,322
I'm scared of Jules.
203
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:15,396
- Stupid oars.
- Stupid river.
204
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:28,456
"Welcome to our Airbnb."
205
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:29,792
What the hell's that?
206
00:10:29,859 --> 00:10:31,706
It's when rich people rent
their extra houses out
207
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:34,702
- for lots of money.
- Extra houses?
208
00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,732
Al fresco!
209
00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:54,909
My parents won't let me watch
Itchy and Scratchy.
210
00:10:54,943 --> 00:10:58,015
But I do watch Caillou,
a Canadian educational program
211
00:10:58,082 --> 00:11:01,455
about a bald boy fascinated
by the world around him.
212
00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:03,927
Sounds great.
213
00:11:04,027 --> 00:11:07,467
Hey, my Code Orange
Nuclear Cheezee Thingz!
214
00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:09,606
That's my breakfast,
lunch and dinner.
215
00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:14,014
You know, Bart, this summer,
my family's going
216
00:11:14,081 --> 00:11:17,153
to visit Grandmother Didi
and her friend Carol
217
00:11:17,254 --> 00:11:18,757
on Sanibel Island.
218
00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:20,761
Mother and Father said
I can bring a chum.
219
00:11:20,895 --> 00:11:23,232
What say that chum were you?
220
00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:24,869
Shut up!
221
00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:28,009
Just because we both like this
goat doesn't mean I like you.
222
00:11:28,075 --> 00:11:30,581
I mean, come on,
you're a loser nerd
223
00:11:30,681 --> 00:11:32,384
and I'm King Stink.
224
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:36,158
We have nothing in common,
and we can never be friends.
225
00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:43,507
Lisa...
226
00:11:43,574 --> 00:11:45,644
Uh, Jules, slow down.
227
00:11:45,711 --> 00:11:47,582
There's plenty of ice cream.
228
00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:49,151
No way.
229
00:11:49,218 --> 00:11:51,856
Bart always eats
all the Mint Choco Smash.
230
00:11:51,923 --> 00:11:54,161
And I...
231
00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:56,398
don't get any.
232
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,537
Now I'm gonna finish it.
233
00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:03,312
Oh, my gosh, it's time
for my only-child beat poetry.
234
00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:05,483
Okay, Mom, you're on bongos.
235
00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,788
Dad, you snap.
236
00:12:09,191 --> 00:12:10,995
A room to myself.
237
00:12:11,095 --> 00:12:13,767
Becomes a womb to my self.
238
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,742
A solitary tree
in this only-child family.
239
00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:20,179
Not lonely, but singular.
240
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,616
Ya dig?
241
00:12:21,716 --> 00:12:24,087
Okay, okay, okay, next activity!
242
00:12:24,187 --> 00:12:26,826
Hey, we didn't get
to do my poem.
243
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,066
There's no time!
244
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,105
We still have
Daddy-daughter piggyback ride.
245
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:34,642
Giddyap!
246
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,546
Oh, this is great!
It's so great!
247
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:39,251
I'm finally an only child.
248
00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,288
Faster, faster!
249
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:48,436
Jules doesn't feel so good.
250
00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:50,206
I'm sorry.
251
00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,375
That's okay, sweetie.
252
00:12:51,442 --> 00:12:54,616
All my best nights end
with throwing up, too.
253
00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:03,634
Where be our goat?
254
00:13:05,504 --> 00:13:07,007
But we don't have the goat.
255
00:13:07,073 --> 00:13:09,044
The other losers have it.
256
00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:11,650
Banish them to the dungeon.
257
00:13:15,123 --> 00:13:17,895
Let us out!
258
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:21,035
There's old lawn chairs
down here!
259
00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:24,007
So... what time tomorrow
260
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:25,944
do you think we'll make it
to the rock, buddy?
261
00:13:26,045 --> 00:13:27,414
I'm not your buddy.
262
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,784
I don't have any buddies.
263
00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,888
Well, you could.
264
00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,560
Just pretend to like stuff
regular kids like.
265
00:13:33,627 --> 00:13:36,065
Dial down the dork a little bit.
266
00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:37,601
You think it's that easy?
267
00:13:37,702 --> 00:13:39,147
You don't know the hell
I'm living in!
268
00:13:39,171 --> 00:13:41,041
My parents have me
in a pressure cooker!
269
00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:42,978
Classical Greek club,
waltzing lessons.
270
00:13:43,045 --> 00:13:44,816
I'm going to explode.
271
00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:47,688
And I have problems, Bart...
Scary problems!
272
00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,625
I see two therapists!
273
00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,428
They email each other about me.
274
00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:54,535
And I'm on drugs...
Focusyn to help me focus,
275
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:56,673
Somnicrank to help me sleep!
276
00:13:56,706 --> 00:13:58,342
I hope you take those with food.
277
00:13:58,442 --> 00:14:01,448
And don't forget Intriginol
to lift my spirts.
278
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,553
Because they're low, Bart.
279
00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:05,691
Ever so low.
280
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,095
Dude, you're freaking us out!
281
00:14:08,162 --> 00:14:10,734
And I didn't volunteer
for this juvie-jaunt.
282
00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:13,072
Like you, I was sentenced to it.
283
00:14:13,139 --> 00:14:16,178
Because of what I did.
284
00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:19,122
I broke into that pharmacy
285
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:21,121
to steal more drugs,
286
00:14:21,221 --> 00:14:23,894
because I still wasn't focused
enough to please my parents.
287
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,866
Never enough focus
for Gareth and Gloria.
288
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,438
Whoa, you may not be cool,
289
00:14:29,505 --> 00:14:32,410
but you're psycho, and that
makes you kind of awesome.
290
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:34,949
Your words of praise
are but honey drizzled
291
00:14:35,049 --> 00:14:37,287
- on bitter greens!
- Huh?
292
00:14:37,387 --> 00:14:39,759
You're only nice to me
when no one's around.
293
00:14:39,826 --> 00:14:41,763
Which makes you worse
than a bully.
294
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:44,602
It makes you a coward
and a conformist.
295
00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:47,173
You're not a rebel or a bad boy.
296
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:50,914
You're nothing but a follower.
297
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:53,319
Come on, Axel, let's go.
298
00:14:53,385 --> 00:14:56,391
Axel, no, you can't
choose him over me.
299
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:11,623
Axel!
300
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:12,992
I knew
you'd come back for me.
301
00:15:13,092 --> 00:15:15,697
Oh, I love you too, goat,
302
00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:18,469
with your wet slimy kisses.
303
00:15:18,537 --> 00:15:20,006
Ew, slugs!
304
00:15:22,511 --> 00:15:24,749
Hmm. Oh, right.
305
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,786
I've been ditched, I'm lost,
306
00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:29,692
and the only people
looking for me are...
307
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:31,529
Satanists.
308
00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:33,834
Let us out!
309
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,171
We'll do Satan stuff for you!
310
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:39,377
Like grow pointy beards
or draw them on with eyeliner!
311
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:41,883
I ask you a final time.
312
00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:44,589
Where is our sacrifice?
313
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:47,494
We told you, we don't know
where the goat is.
314
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:50,233
Then prepare to die!
315
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,372
How?
316
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,355
What time is it? What happened?
317
00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:04,161
Oh, sweetie,
you got a little overexcited
318
00:16:04,227 --> 00:16:06,733
and barfed yourself to sleep.
319
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,037
Wait, I spent all night
sleeping in bed
320
00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:12,277
between Mom and Dad,
center spoon?
321
00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:15,684
It doesn't get more
"only child" than that.
322
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:18,924
Wait, there's still time for us
to do "a gender-blind production
323
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:21,830
of The Crucible,"
whatever those words mean.
324
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,867
Meh, that's
kind of a Jules thing.
325
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:26,305
Right now, I'd kind of rather
just stay in bed
326
00:16:26,405 --> 00:16:27,975
and be a Lisa.
327
00:16:42,805 --> 00:16:44,441
I don't need that stupid Martin.
328
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:46,311
I can make it
to Ankle Rock on my own.
329
00:16:46,378 --> 00:16:48,617
Compass, which way do I go?
330
00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:50,319
Compass?
331
00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:52,457
Must not be getting a signal.
332
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,964
Ew, it's poop.
333
00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:58,202
Nuclear orange poop...
334
00:16:58,235 --> 00:17:00,707
Just like those Cheezee Thingz
Axel ate.
335
00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:03,547
This is goat poop.
336
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,906
Martin. Martin! Oh, my God.
337
00:17:16,973 --> 00:17:18,777
He's dead!
338
00:17:18,843 --> 00:17:21,114
Oh, you're alive!
339
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,987
Man, you're a heavy sleeper.
340
00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:26,559
That would be the Somnicrank.
341
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:30,299
Listen man, that stuff
you said to me, you were right.
342
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,303
I shouldn't care
what those bullies think of me.
343
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:34,775
Well, I'm glad you've learned
that their approval
344
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:37,648
- is meaningless.
- Help!
345
00:17:37,748 --> 00:17:40,587
Satanists are gonna kill us!
346
00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:43,192
Oh, my God,
I've got to save those bullies.
347
00:17:43,292 --> 00:17:44,996
Then they'll think I'm awesome.
348
00:17:45,062 --> 00:17:47,500
No, then they'll think
we're awesome.
349
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,688
Cut!
350
00:17:57,755 --> 00:18:01,663
You can turn off
the voice-changing app, Madison.
351
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,238
Those little kids ruined
the shot.
352
00:18:06,338 --> 00:18:09,210
Wait? This is just a movie?
353
00:18:09,277 --> 00:18:11,114
They're not Satanists,
they're...
354
00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:13,687
...film students.
355
00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:15,991
The only thing worse
356
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:18,195
than nerds are film nerds.
357
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,166
My cousin went to film school.
358
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,538
And now he walks dogs
for a living.
359
00:18:22,638 --> 00:18:24,274
Stupid kids!
360
00:18:24,341 --> 00:18:26,144
Now we'll never get
into Splatter Fest.
361
00:18:26,178 --> 00:18:28,115
Let alone win the Palme D'gore!
362
00:18:34,027 --> 00:18:35,427
You knocked
the blade off its track!
363
00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:38,637
Those little dudes are
gonna get sacrificed for real.
364
00:18:39,505 --> 00:18:41,576
Now we're getting
the performance.
365
00:18:41,643 --> 00:18:43,278
That's the fear.
366
00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:45,984
Oh, that crazy blade's
going everywhere.
367
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,022
What do we do?
368
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:52,665
The movements of the pendulum
may seem random,
369
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,236
but it actually swings
in the exact pattern
370
00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:57,173
of Strauss' "Blue Danube."
371
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,477
Bart, waltz with me.
372
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:16,178
It's okay, it's okay,
we can make this work.
373
00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,616
We can just add
the kid corpses in post.
374
00:19:19,985 --> 00:19:21,121
Oh, God, no!
375
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:23,425
Our entire film was on that!
376
00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:27,033
My footage, my beautiful
faked found footage!
377
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:32,811
I can't go back to selling
essential oils on Facebook.
378
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:35,617
No one knows what they are.
379
00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:37,621
Haw-haw!
380
00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:39,725
Baa-baa!
381
00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:43,232
So then the po-po showed up
382
00:19:43,298 --> 00:19:45,169
and hauled me away.
383
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:46,739
I hate the po-po!
384
00:19:46,873 --> 00:19:48,308
Prince, you're a certified
385
00:19:48,409 --> 00:19:50,614
pre-owned bad-ass.
386
00:19:56,391 --> 00:19:58,663
I was sure you'd get lost
387
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:01,301
and eat the wee fat one,
but you made it.
388
00:20:01,435 --> 00:20:04,107
And that earns you
the greatest of all treasures.
389
00:20:04,174 --> 00:20:06,144
And it's right behind you.
390
00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:09,250
It's the land you traversed,
391
00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:11,421
the journey you made,
392
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:14,094
and the character you built.
393
00:20:14,194 --> 00:20:16,431
Are you freaking kidding me?
394
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,104
That's not treasure,
that's garbage.
395
00:20:19,204 --> 00:20:21,141
Nature is garbage.
396
00:20:24,582 --> 00:20:27,487
Step away from those bad kids, Martin.
397
00:20:27,588 --> 00:20:29,491
You'll be late
for your violin lesson.
398
00:20:29,592 --> 00:20:31,829
By the way, you play that now.
399
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,035
Yeah, they are bad kids.
400
00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:36,304
Just like me.
401
00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:39,010
And bad kids ride in the van.
402
00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:41,749
If it makes you nervous,
take a pill.
403
00:21:04,093 --> 00:21:06,398
Maggie, honey,
play nice with the kitty.
404
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,603
I just have to...
405
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,874
Oh, aah, the cat!
406
00:21:10,941 --> 00:21:12,981
- Oh, my God, aah!
- Bart, Bart, you come back here.
407
00:21:13,078 --> 00:21:15,750
Bart!
408
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:17,220
Almost gotcha.
409
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,455
Oh, come back here!
410
00:21:18,590 --> 00:21:20,059
- Oh! Let go! Ow!
- Yum.
411
00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:21,629
I'm gonna send you back
412
00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:22,598
to Willie
if you don't stop this.
413
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,635
You stop right now.
414
00:21:24,735 --> 00:21:26,414
- Why is no one helping me?!
- Give me that
415
00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:27,473
tub of ice cream.
416
00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:28,910
Does anybody even see this?!
417
00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:35,690
Ow! Oh, let go!
418
00:21:35,757 --> 00:21:38,362
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION.
419
00:21:38,428 --> 00:21:41,836
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
420
00:21:43,272 --> 00:21:46,178
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
421
00:21:46,244 --> 00:21:48,750
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org29510
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