Original subtitles

Here they come.

Hi.

Hi, Kate.

Hi, Anne.

Here, let me take that. I'll get that out of your way.

- Kate? - Hi, babe.

Oh, look at this.

No, don't do that. It's for tomorrow.

Well, for him there's no tomorrow.

Jack, control yourself. Please.

Hey, what are you doing?

I waited 20 minutes in line for that. Come on.

All right. Give me some of that. Come on.

Are we all here?

Yeah. Let's go.

Hey!

The guy is going away for a weekend

and he's bringing his whole wardrobe.

Be careful.

Don't worry about the eggplants.

I got five of them.

You got five eggplants?

What do you mean, the baby ones?

Baby ones? They're like salamis.

13 eggplants.

Isn't that kind of a lot?

You can never have too many eggplants.

Hi, how are you? Hi.

Claudia's at her studio.

Turn left on Christopher, right on Hudson.

Hey, what happened to the bread?

What is this, you started without me?

Need help?

I'm okay.

Hi, Claudia.

Hi.

Hi, Claudia.

You brought your work.

I stopped my work for the weekend.

Danny, please. You're a dentist.

Do you hear this?

I can sculpt a bicuspid that would fool God himself,

but I'm just a dentist.

Do we... Do we have any ginger?

I got two pounds of ginger and a pound of garlic.

Anne, didn't you have a tree there?

Yeah, but we just... We had to cut it down.

I miss it. You could see it from the bedroom.

Hey, we have locks, right?

Two locks. A big lock and a little lock.

Oh, I love those flowers.

I forgot my cleaver.

That's all right, I got a cleaver.

Would you believe this?

They've been organizing this one meal for two weeks?

I believe it.

God, look at that.

Wait a minute. Look at this. How did you trace this?

What do you do, throw them up in the air?

I took a piece of glass

put the vegetables on the glass, and I got...

Wait. That's... That one I want.

Oh, isn't that gorgeous?

Is this the way this goes?

Yes.

It looks like a face.

It does looks like a face.

The nose, the eyes, the ears.

Did you try the Pegasus Gallery in SoHo?

Yes. I just... I can't believe that man.

I just... I told him that I had been working

on this series of pictures for three years,

and do you know what he said?

He said, "Three years photographing vegetables?

"Don't you think that's a little constipated?"

Do you believe that?

Well, that all depends on the vegetables.

What you gonna do with the cover?

Take it off. Please take it off.

The chili pepper's cooking. They have to be charred.

Okay. It will be charred.

Oh, come on.

Cook or laugh, what is this?

Well, do something with it. Pour water on it.

Pour water on hot oil. You're kidding, right?

My eyes are tearing. I can't see what I'm doing.

We're gonna have chopped knuckles and hot garlic sauce.

Here, here. I really can't see.

Wait. Come here, come here. How is that? Is that better?

Oh, terrific.

You rubbed it in real good. I'm blind.

The oil's not hot enough.

Then why have I lost my eyesight?

It's not hot enough.

You cannot cook Chinese food unless the oil is 480 degrees.

Oh, damn. It's a scientific fact.

Did Einstein say that?

Newton. Isaac Newton. The inventor of Mu Shu Pork.

Hey, Anne? Mmm-hmm?

The magazine is doing a piece

on the top 10 executives in the country.

How would you like to photograph them for us?

Oh, God, I'd love to be in Fortune.

When do you need them?

By July.

You mean of this year?

Anne, that's two months from now.

Yes, dear, I know that.

I just...

I don't work that fast.

Anne, how are you ever going to get published?

You have to move.

What's the matter with you?

Just do a story on the top 10 broccoli in the country.

Chicken salad. You got the rice things?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do it now and they'll all be ready at the same time.

I've got this timed out scientifically.

Yes, sir. Watch this. Watch this. You ready?

Yeah. Watch out.

Watch this. Here we go.

Isn't that beautiful?

That's incredible.

Okay. First course.

And Chinese beer.

Bravo!

Bravo! Bravo!

Thank you.

Did you leave out the MSG?

No MSG. Grab your sticks and eat.

Here's some rice. Pass it around.

Wait, wait. Start with the appetizers.

That's the chicken salad.

Oh, my God, Danny. That's fantastic.

Wait. Pass it around!

Danny's my genius!

The shrimp is incredible.

Okay. I have a toast.

Toast. To Nick and Anne.

Yeah.

And to this dinner which is wonderful.

Watch it, watch it, watch it.

And to the reason we're here tonight.

Not just to celebrate your anniversary,

but to that deeper thing that brings us all close together.

To what bonds us, and... and

makes us huddle against the cold winds of divorce

that have blown through the lives of our friends.

Oh, that's lovely.

- Really nice. - Nice, nice.

Thanks, Jack.

May I say something?

Yes.

I just wanna say that I...

That was the most depressing goddamn toast

that I have ever heard in my life.

Why? Why?

What's wrong with that?

He got to the heart of it.

He faced it. He told us his fears.

That's why we're here.

That's why I'm in analysis, you know.

It's not why I'm eating dinner.

Well, I think he's right.

That's what brought us together.

I don't get this close with all my patients.

We didn't meet through you.

Sure we did! Oh!

We did! We did!

Didn't I do some legal work for you?

Then we all got to know one another, started going out together.

No. I remember going over your statement.

We did not meet through the men at all.

No. They think everything revolves around them.

Anne is absolutely right.

You and I,

we met at a women's photographers exhibition

and then Anne and I met Claudia at an art gallery.

You didn't get at their teeth until months later.

Uh, we met seven years ago.

It was the third week. Thank you.

The third week in July.

And my first appointment with Danny was, uh, for a filling.

It was, uh, September 8,

And it was a Wednesday.

How can you remember that?

Oh, uh, I remember things like that

because I feel they're important.

Look, the point is what brings us together.

- Right. That's the point. - Right?

That's the point.

We owe the depth, breadth and height of this friendship

to the world's most ancient emotions:

Fear and panic.

Am I right? Am I right?

I love you. Am I right?

Listen, I spent three hours buying this

and four hours chopping it into little pieces.

I'm not just gonna eat it, I'm gonna make love to it.

You keep talking. I'll eat yours.

Wait. Come on. Cut it out.

Come on, he's down in the orchard.

I... I can't get this damn fender straightened.

I'll see you down there.

Yeah.

Hey, you look great.

Don't get too close. Watch your foot.

Come on. I'll race you.

I'm going fast enough. I just wanna dry my hair.

Come on. We'll see who gets to the house first.

Let's just see if we can get there. How about that?

Hey, you want a helmet?

Of course I want a helmet.

Oh, that's better. That's nice.

Hey, Danny!

Hey! You wanna race?

No.

Come on. Let's race a little.

Look, leave me alone, will you?

You look great on that thing.

Come on. What do you say?

I don't wanna race!

Good. You ready?

Go!

Go, Danny. Go! Go! Go!

Whoa!

Watch out! Watch out!

I won!

I won! I did it! I did it! I won!

I won! I won!

What happened? Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?

I am the greatest!

The sexy dentist won!

I won!

Danny, you're wonderful! I love you!

How, how about Indian food next time?

We can... We can make our own mango chutney,

we can fry a little chapati.

How about Indonesian?

We could do a whole rice table.

Oh, yeah. That will be great.

I love that.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I got it.

What?

It's 1:00.

Homemade pasta,

Yeah?

Florentine Chicken,

Mmm-hmm.

...on a... on a bed of spinach.

Oh, yeah.

And a hot antipasto of mussels

in marinara sauce. How about that?

Is that good?

Danny, please. I'm Italian.

Oh, you don't think we can do it, huh?

Didn't we make a great Chinese meal last night?

Yeah. Well, look, we're not Chinese. You know?

By us it was Chinese. What do we know?

Danny, please. She's Italian.

Yeah.

I can make a better sauce than your mother.

My poor mother has arthritis.

Of course you make a better sauce than her.

Before her arthritis.

Will you guys shut up? You're depressing the birds.

How's your leg?

Oh, fine.

I've been banged up so many times I hardly even notice it.

In college he played football with a broken wrist

and then two big guys picked him up

and threw him on his head

and he was unconscious for three hours.

Those were the days.

Hey. Hey.

Listen to the water lapping against the sides of the boat.

To be with friends sipping wine,

this is what it is to be happy.

This, and being incredibly rich.

I'm a lifetime member of Equitable's Million Dollar Roundtable.

Gimme some cheese, will you?

I'm one of the most successful estate planners in New York.

But that's nothing compared to this.

Nick, please. I wish that you would relax.

Please. He's always selling.

What are you talking about?

You're an estate planner?

You're an insurance salesman.

I don't plan estates?

I'm not on the Million Dollar Roundtable?

Oh. Do you know what you get

for being in the Million Dollar Roundtable?

What? What?

A plastic statue and a weekend,

a weekend at the La Cucaracha Hotel in Puerto Rico.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna make a toast.

Again? Not another one?

Here's to us.

Here's to apple trees,

to cheese...

Here's to cheese?

...and wine and friends and laughter,

And life itself.

That's beautiful. Sit down.

Carefully.

Oh, shit.

What, again?

I don't want this afternoon to disappear

without something to remember it by.

Some memorial of our affection for one another.

Yeah. Terrific.

But just don't wave your arms, okay?

This is for all of you

so that we'll never forget this day.

Yeah.

I don't believe it!

What are you doing in the lake?

All right. I accept that gesture from my friend.

He's not gonna be alone in doing it.

My only regret is that

I'm not wearing my $500 suit.

I'll just jump in with my bread.

Hey, uh...

Hey.

You all right?

Sure.

You look distracted.

I'm okay.

You know,

I think we're close enough to say anything to each other.

Really. Anything.

You and Kate happy?

Yeah. Very.

I mean, happy.

Can you honestly say you're really happy?

Yeah, but not every minute.

It comes in waves.

At times you hit lows

and you can't stand things about each other.

Like the way her teeth click when she eats.

The way I smell my sweatshirt before I put it on.

Sometimes we drive each other crazy.

And then there are times

we go through a period like the one we're in now.

It comes over us like an unexpected wave,

puppy love.

I can't wait to see her.

And then when I'm with her my heart beats faster.

I'd expect it with somebody who's a stranger,

but not somebody I've spent half my life with.

It's wonderful.

I wish I could feel that.

Oh, you will. It'll come back. Just give it time.

No. I've never felt it.

I shouldn't have married Anne.

I was crazy as a kid.

I figured she'd be some kind of stability for me.

Well, she certainly is stable.

I mean, she's a decent woman, she's a good mother

but she doesn't do anything.

Doesn't think anything.

I've never heard one stimulating idea

come out of her mouth ever.

When she took up photography,

I thought, finally she's gonna do something.

She spent three years photographing vegetables.

She's not just stable, she's inert.

So work on it with her. Talk to her about it.

Jack, I've tried for 20 years. I get nothing.

Do you know how painful it is to want to love someone?

You've no idea how lonely I've been.

Look at her. Look at her.

She gets obsessed with that.

She'll pace up and down all day long

with the same thought, turning it over and over

in her head.

She remembers the day she got her tooth filled.

Can you remember that?

Christ. I can barely remember the first time I got laid.

I come home from a day's selling,

she wants to talk about her work.

Fine. You know what she talks about?

Vegetables.

For a year and a half we talked about zucchini.

Then for a year, green peppers.

That was a nice change.

Last night was the end of 21 years.

And that's enough.

Today's the beginning of a new life for me.

What?

That's it. It's over.

You can't just quit. What... what are you...

What are you talking about? What's the matter with you?

I want to make a new start. I want a new family.

What about your old family?

Lisa's 18. She can handle this.

I want a woman I can be excited by.

You've got somebody else, don't you?

You got somebody waiting in the wings.

No, I don't. I swear I don't have anybody waiting in the wings.

Why are you making this so difficult for me?

I thought I could tell you anything.

How can you just throw her away after 21 years like this?

I mean, what is she supposed to do now?

Oh, boy.

I thought if I told you, you'd be happy for me.

I even had this fantasy that you'd handle the divorce.

That I would handle the divorce?

In the first place, I'm not a divorce lawyer

and if I were, I'd probably represent Anne.

I can't believe you would do this.

Jack, please.

This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life.

All right. I'm sorry.

Oh, God. Nick, this is awful. Jesus.

Come on, let's go.

Want some more of these?

Oh, yes. Thank you. Good, good.

You know, beans are very much misunderstood.

They have a complex set of amino acids.

If you eat beans together with rice,

you never have to eat meat.

Danny loves to talk about beans.

Go ahead, sweetheart. Talk.

It's the combination that counts. Here, you want some of these?

Yeah, I do.

You know, I've been thinking about that.

About what?

Photographing vegetables in combinations,

not just one at a time. You know?

I'm not sure yet.

Hey, I did some research on sailboats for the summer.

That's great.

Already?

We only talked about it a couple of days ago.

I got it in here someplace. Here it is.

Nick, you ought to check this out.

You're the sailor in the group.

Where did you get all this stuff?

Called a couple of boat brokers.

- No kidding. - Let me see one.

We can rent one in St. Thomas and sail around the islands

and fly home. The whole thing will take two weeks.

This woman's fantastic.

Nick, isn't this beautiful?

What a boat.

Oh, is that the galley?

Yes.

And you know what?

I think it looks... It looks a little small to me.

Gorgeous.

Yeah, right.

Oh, I... I think we'll manage very well,

don't you?

Oh, I think it's beautiful.

Oh, look at that.

Can't you sleep?

Nick is getting a divorce.

How do you know?

He told me yesterday when we were getting firewood.

Jeez.

Is there somebody else?

He says there isn't anybody.

Why does he have to leave her? Why can't they fight it out?

Hold me?

Good morning.

You got up early.

Oh, god. It's gorgeous down there.

Yeah? There's this enormous turtle.

You didn't try to ride him, did you?

Ride a turtle that big? Are you kidding?

I was thinking of it, but I got scared.

Oh. Good morning.

Hey, could you sleep last night?

Not very well. What is it with them?

I don't know, boy.

Oh, I thought I smelled coffee.

Good morning, Danny.

Thank you. Good morning. How are you?

It's great.

Oh my God. Daylight.

Claudia thinks she's seasick.

Are you?

No.

I'm just trying out this new green makeup.

Claudia, you're not nauseated.

Danny, how come you're allowed to have

all these psychosomatic illnesses,

but when I throw up into my tote bag at 2:00 in the morning,

it's just my imagination?

Did anyone sleep last night?

You're kidding, right?

With all those mating calls coming from the master bedroom?

All night long.

I mean, who could have guessed

that it would be so distressing

to listen to other people humping?

Hi, gang.

Good morning. Morning.

What a morning!

Oh, boy, smell that air. Huh?

Yeah.

Now, this is how the whole world should live.

Uh-huh?

I slept like a baby last night.

Wasn't that a great night?

Oh, yeah. It was great. Yeah.

Wasn't it peaceful bobbing around on the water like that?

Yeah, well, some parts of the boat bobbed more than others.

Hey, honey, throw on your suit and come on up!

Coffee's on.

- Hi! - Good morning.

Good morning.

Did anybody hear anything about the weather?

Oh, yeah, did you listen to the radio yet?

Yeah, it's supposed to be clear.

After breakfast, should we head for St. Croix?

Wait a minute. You wanna move the boat?

Come on, once you get used to it

you'll be the most intrepid sailor of the bunch.

I don't see how we're gonna go anywhere

unless we can get the anchor up.

Well, we'll just pull it up. Pull it up?

Isn't that why we had to stay here last night,

because we couldn't pull the anchor up?

Nah, if the three of us give it a yank, it'll come up. Come on.

You boys go pull on your anchor for a while.

We'll be back here.

If that anchor comes up out of the water, there is no God.

Nick just amazes me.

I mean, he's so accomplished.

He can sail. He knows how to choose wines.

Do you know that he's just about

the most successful estate planner in New York?

Is that so?

Yeah.

He's a life member in the Million Dollar Roundtable.

I hear they send you to Puerto Rico for that.

Oh, yeah. He goes all over the place.

We met on my flight to L.A.

I sat with him for an hour after the dinner service and...

God, I had just never met anybody

who knew so much about actuarial tables.

He's a charmer.

Yeah.

How about Danny? Has he been sailing long?

No.

Well, how about Jack?

Jack saw Two Years Before The Mast when he was 12.

One, two, heave ho!

Come on. We're not gonna make it.

This is like pulling a building.

Okay. Come on. Danny, watch your foot.

Watch out. Watch out.

It's stuck on something.

There's a big plant down there or something.

I'll run her over. Tell me when it's vertical.

You're gonna what? I'm gonna start up the engine.

You tell me when this rope is straight up and down, okay?

Do you know what the hell he's talking about?

Hey.

What?

Maybe we shouldn't go anywhere.

Everybody's worried that we don't know what we're doing.

I know what I'm doing.

Hey, your nose is getting red.

You better put something on it.

Well, I just think that if anybody's nervous about it

we should stop and talk about...

What is this?

I don't know. Open it up.

Oh, my God.

Shalimar?

Oh, my God.

You are the sweetest man.

Look at this.

He's given me a present

every single day since we left St. Thomas.

You could make me fall in love with you pretty easily.

You mean it could get worse?

Excuse me.

Okay. I'm gonna move her up. Tell me when.

More, more, more.

More, more.

More, more, more, more...

Hold it.

Thank you.

You don't have to worry about the anchor any more.

Come here.

You want us down there?

Yes.

At that end of the boat?

Come here and ready this sail.

Come on, Ollie.

They're really gonna move it.

I doubt it.

Okay, what do you want us to do?

I want you to raise the mizzen.

I'll close the lid.

Close the lid, we'll kill ourselves.

Close the hatch.

Where will I stand?

Right there. Just pull on the rope like we did yesterday.

I got it. I got it. Like yesterday.

Okay. I got the ribbons out here.

Ribbons? The gaskets.

I'm pulling the ropes.

Okay. Okay?

There she goes!

Jack!

Oh, my God!

Here. Grab that.

Are you all right?

What the hell are you trying to do?

Here, take this line.

Oh, my God. The boat's moving.

What? What?

Turn the wheel.

Not on my boat. Don't touch anything!

Turn the wheel.

Jesus Christ!

You go ahead, folks. I'll catch up.

What's that? I think we're stuck.

She's gone aground. We're on a sandbar.

On the ground?

We're stuck. Yeah. Look at that.

Oh, shit.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sorry.

I'll just get these into the water.

Oh, Jesus! They're so dirty.

Look, my lettuce water.

I gotta clean them.

Oh, now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, No salt, okay?

Just put the salt

on the sides of whoever wants to poison themselves.

He doesn't eat salt.

Salt is bad for you?

I haven't used salt or mucus products for three years

and I feel just great.

Who eats mucus?

He means cheese and milk.

Danny, say what you mean, will you please?

You're talking to humans here.

Don't worry about it, Danny.

This recipe doesn't call for mucus.

- Got a knife? - Excuse me.

Where's a knife?

Excuse me.

I think I'm gonna die from the sun.

Why does my nose always have to bother me?

Here, Danny, let me get in here.

I got something that'll make you feel better.

Here you go. You put this...

Oh, no, no, no. What?

You're not gonna put that green, thorny thing on my nose.

For God's sakes. You take the jelly out of it.

It's an aloe plant. It'll make it just fine.

What?

You stabbed me with that goddamn Hawaiian plant.

Be careful.

I'm sorry. It's crowded in here.

Excuse me. Would you excuse me, please?

I'm doing the best I can.

Well, don't put it in my lettuce.

Okay.

Jack and Kate owe Nick and me $123 each for provisions,

except for the wine and beer which Nick brought,

which everybody owes him $47 each for.

Why don't we just subtract the $47 from the $123?

No, no, no, no, no. That's gonna screw it up.

I've worked this out very carefully.

And I'd just like to tell you that we are now

$350 over budget each.

All right, all right.

I don't see any trip to St. Croix

unless we have a meeting first.

I don't picture us seeing St. Croix unless it floats by.

I can't believe he brought her.

How could he do that to Anne?

How could he do it to us?

But she's really nice, you know.

I mean, I like her.

She's wonderful.

I can't even enjoy hating her.

Who the hell needs that?

Danny is driving me crazy.

He has to be the expert on everything.

What's the matter with him?

He's very needy. That's all.

Needy?

He's hypochondriacal, stingy, bossy, selfish,

compulsive, and paranoid.

He's the Muhammad Ali of mental illness.

Shh. Quiet.

Look, if they don't want me to keep the finances, I won't.

But there's something wrong with them.

These people are vicious. They're ill.

We're traveling with a group of ill people.

I just can't believe that he would bring her

on the boat with us.

Every time I make a suggestion,

every time I say something they're ignorant of,

do you see the way they look at each other?

They discuss me behind my back.

I mean, she walks around with that hanky on her hips

that's supposed to be a bathing suit.

Oh, God.

I get so depressed every time I look at her.

These people are vicious. Vicious and ill.

I don't believe it. They're at it again.

They never stop.

Those two are gonna kill themselves.

They're driving me crazy.

Talk about something else.

Something serious and complex.

We won't even... We won't even notice it.

All right. Okay.

Something serious. Okay, go ahead.

Something serious and complex.

Tell me about the Simmons suit.

The, uh, Simmons suit.

The Simmons suit.

Yeah. Okay.

The Simmons suit.

Well, it all depends how the judge interprets

The, uh,

environmental impact study.

Oh, yes.

Part of the problem with inflation

Is that the production of goods and services

Per man hour of work

is falling at a rate of three percent a year.

What is she doing to him?

You're not listening.

Now, will you just listen?

If productivity falls three percent,

then wages have to fall three percent.

Are you listening?

Then the cost of production rises.

What goes up must come down.

So...

Again.

Oh, no, not again!

I can't take anymore of this.

Do you want some breakfast?

I'm too sleepy to eat. Those people are killing me.

I'm gonna make some coffee and see if I can wake up.

Maybe if I lie in the sun I can go back to sleep.

Oh, my God.

What?

Down here. Quick.

Oh, my God.

Is the coffee ready?

I can't get my eyes open this morning.

Maybe this'll get your eyes open.

They're swimming already? Where do they get the energy?

Keep looking at them.

What am I supposed to see?

A-ha.

What's the matter? Is everybody sick?

Come here, come on.

Oh, my God.

You know, when you really think about it,

there isn't anything sexual about it.

It's natural.

People go to their doctor's offices,

they take off their clothes,

it doesn't mean a thing.

Meanwhile, he hasn't taken his eyes off her for a second.

I almost got you.

Hi!

Hi!

Hi. Hi.

Oh, they're swimming over.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Lord.

Just act casual.

What you mean, like you?

I'm gonna make breakfast.

I don't wanna look at my friends naked.

It makes it hard to have dinner with them later.

Yeah. I'm gonna go sit in the shade.

And I think, maybe, I'll read a book.

Okay, Danny, we've all got something to do.

What's everybody getting so crazy about?

You can't see anything.

Then what are you standing there for?

He's hoping she'll turn over and do the backstroke.

I was just enjoying their playfulness.

They're like a couple of porpoises.

It's a pure animal pleasure of having fun, that's all.

Danny, will you, for Christ's sake, sit down?

What's the matter with this woman?

Huh! Shit.

Hold it. Okay, hold it there.

Now give me a hand with this.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay, Danny, start the winch. Crank it up.

Okay.

That's it.

Kate, make sure that tail line is taut.

All right, come on, keep going. Heave!

Keep cranking. Keep cranking.

All right, Ginny,

I wanna put a little more pressure on it.

Hoist that sail.

Okay!

That's it.

Danny. Yeah?

That's it, darling.

Now put a little muscle into it.

Haul it away. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it!

Yeah, yeah. It's working!

Terrific! It's working!

Yes! Yes!

Where the hell are they going?

Hey, wait for us!

Claudia! Claudia, back it up!

We're headed out to sea!

Isn't this terrific?

Put it in reverse!

Okay, tell me when.

Good, good. Thank you. Thanks, honey.

Why do you think we love this boat so much?

I don't know.

Do you know why I think we like this boat so much?

I knew it. What?

I knew it.

He only asked us so he could tell us his feelings.

Oh, come on.

Go ahead. Go ahead, sweetheart, tell us.

Why do we love this boat so much?

Because it represents our primeval desire to control water.

Ah. See?

No, think about it.

All our beginnings were wet.

Sloshing around in the womb, baptism,

first life that came from the warm soup of the ocean.

From the moment we rose from the slime as alligators,

we've been trying for dominion over water.

You know?

Mmm-hmm?

Jack loves ideas

and he can do so much with them.

I have seen him take one idea at a dinner party

and bring the conversation of a dozen people

to a complete halt.

Ladies and gentlemen. Clams Casino.

Oh, my God. I love them.

I have this insatiable need to have dominance over the clam.

Take forks.

It so happens

that Venus rose from the sea on a clam shell.

Sexuality was born in wetness.

It's easier that way.

Hey.

Mine's all closed up.

How'd that happen?

I don't know. Open it.

Lodge your finger in it. Right.

Oh, Nick.

That must be some clam.

Look what he gave me.

What a guy.

I'm beginning to feel left out.

Hmm. You got something, too?

Sand!

Oh! Oh, Jack.

That's all right.

I'm gonna go down below for a few minutes.

I think I'll see if she's all right.

Do you think they're gonna do it again?

You know,

I'm real pissed off at him for what he did to Anne,

but I have to tell you,

I get a funny feeling

watching two people who are that much in love.

How do you suppose we lost that?

We didn't.

Just 'cause they're bumping into the furniture and we're not,

that doesn't mean that we've lost interest.

Is he still thoughtful?

Yes, Jack is thoughtful.

Does he observe good bathroom etiquette?

Like what?

Well, like does he leave the seat up or does he put it down?

It's funny how people tend to forget little things like that.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're not talking about me.

I always put the seat down.

Sure, after I yelled at you.

Do you know how many times in the dark

I've fallen that extra inch onto the porcelain?

Anyway, I don't find them all that adorable.

They're making this trip very difficult.

They're not even on this trip.

They walk around mooning all the time making goo-goo eyes.

My God, if one of them farts, the other thinks it's Guy Lombardo.

I think it's kind of nice.

I don't know. I...

I want us all to feel like we did before.

Hmm.

I wanna feel like them.

God, I love that woman. She just kills me.

Honey?

What?

It's not the same anymore. Everybody's different.

Have you noticed that?

Yeah.

What is it? Is it me or something?

No. Are you sure?

You're not doing anything.

You're a little jealous of Nick.

No, I'm not.

Sure you are.

I'm not. What are you... What are you talking about?

Look, honey, it's only natural.

Look, she's a beautiful, young, adoring woman, right?

Yeah.

And she believes every single thing he tells her about himself.

Now, it's only natural for you to want that.

Well, but I... I'm jealous?

You preen for her. I do not.

You do, too.

I don't. Jack.

Come on. You walk around here

you're holding in your stomach all the time.

You... you shave. You comb your hair.

Well, I... No, I think you've misinterpreted something.

No, now, excuse me, I... Look, forget it.

Enjoy your fantasies.

I don't have any fantasies about her.

Yeah? Well, no serious fantasies.

Well, you know, for somebody who likes to get to the heart of things,

you have this incredible knack

for denying your own feelings.

You wish I were jealous of him.

Why?

'Cause that would alleviate what you feel about her.

Hey, you're getting angry. No, no, no. I'm not. No.

If you're angry, would you do me a favor and just be angry?

I am not angry.

Don't start with the analyzing.

I am not angry!

And you're not clenching your teeth either, right?

Okay, all right, that's a problem I have.

Sometimes when I get angry, I... I analyze.

You certainly do.

You know why I do that?

I don't care why!

Look, you got a little hate going there, right?

Admit it.

I am not angry and I don't hate,

so just shut up about that, okay?

Come on, shut up.

Will you slow down?

Do you know where the brake is?

We got plenty of time.

You don't understand the soul of a car like this.

It was born for speed.

I'm in complete control.

What are we cramped up in here for?

We could've used their station wagon.

A station wagon is a car.

A Mercedes is a thoroughbred.

Every so often,

it needs to be taken on the open road and challenged.

Want some? Yeah, I'd love a bite.

Don't eat! What?

Don't eat! Why?

The crumbs go down in the upholstery.

You'll never get it out.

The car will look like the bottom of a bird cage.

Isn't that crazy?

I'm starving.

One loaf of French bread

and the resale value goes down $500.

You wanna eat a $500 sandwich, it's up to you.

How about if I just eat the insides for $1?

Can you make it?

Claudia, once we find our kids,

why don't you and Danny drop us off?

Then you can go see Mike at Wesley.

We'll see him tomorrow. It's Saturday night.

He's probably out trying to get laid.

What makes you think your son's always doing something sexual?

Please, I'm Italian.

Hi! There she is!

Bethie!

Hi, guys.

Hi!

God, you look marvelous.

Hi!

Hello, honey. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

Lisa's down there somewhere.

Where?

Down there. Come on, I'll show you.

Guess what? I got an "A" in History.

And this teacher is such a jerk, you wouldn't believe it.

He wouldn't even tell us what to write about.

I had to figure the whole thing out by myself.

You don't think he was trying to get you to think for yourself?

No, Mom, no. This guy is really a jerk.

If the jerks had their own country, this guy would be president.

There she is. Lisa! Lis!

I'll... I'll go get her. Hold on, will you?

Wait right there.

Okay.

Oh, God, she's wonderful.

That kid sure takes a real bite out of life.

Hiya, babe.

Hi, Dad.

Hi. You look great.

Hi, Lisa.

Hi.

Hi, Lisa. Hi.

It's good to see you again.

Hi, Lisa. Hi.

Doesn't she look good?

Oh, you look terrific. Just great.

Thanks.

Oh, I have a present for you.

Right.

Yeah. I'll... I'll go get it. Okay?

So, you're getting enough sleep, and food and everything?

You look just great.

Thanks.

Can you have lunch with us now?

We're gonna have lunch at the Inn, okay?

Sure. You got a ride over there, right?

Yeah, I'm going with Beth in her car.

You know the way? Yeah, yeah, of course.

There's a return slip, if it's the wrong size or anything.

Thank you.

See you later, Lisa.

Okay, we'll see you later. Bye-bye.

See you later, girls.

Bye-bye.

Oh, boy, does she look great.

You don't think she looked a little depressed?

Who? You mean Lisa?

Yeah, Lisa.

No, no, no, no. She has a slow metabolism.

That's up. She's up today.

Maybe you should have a talk with her.

What's the matter with you people?

I tell you, the kid is a survivor.

Just a little talk.

It'll make her feel so much better.

Okay.

Do you lock it now or what?

You wanna hang onto your purse? No.

Got your purse.

This is...

Did you know Anne is here this weekend?

Anne is here? Oh, no.

Are you sure? Beth told me.

My God, how did that happen?

Anne's grown up. She can take it.

What makes you think we can?

Did you know she was coming?

When I talked to her Tuesday,

she said she was gonna work it out with Nick.

I called her when we said we were coming up here

just so this wouldn't happen.

Well, I don't understand.

Nick, you didn't tell her you were coming with Ginny

and she didn't tell you?

I don't know. She might have mentioned she was thinking of it.

She never does what she says she's gonna do. She's unreliable.

I don't listen to her half the time.

That might be a small problem right there.

You know, I don't wanna talk her down

but she is unreliable.

I mean, Nick has made three appointments

to meet her down at his lawyer's office

and she's never shown up.

She hasn't even called.

Now, wait a minute.

No offense, Ginny, but 21 years ago Nick said he would be there

on the other side of the bed every morning and for the last six months

he hasn't kept his appointment, either!

Okay, uh, look... look, let's calm down.

It's not all that bad. It's just a little embarrassing.

I don't see what the big problem is.

We're all adults.

We'll just say "Hello," and, uh...

Have a nervous breakdown.

Ginny, I'm sorry.

The... the... This... there is a lot of strain on the situation

and I get passionate sometimes.

That's okay.

I know you're just trying to be fair to everybody.

You're the one I wanted to make cry.

Why do you have to open up your mouth again?

Danny, it's over and done with, please. Come on.

Let's have a nice quiet time, just once.

We're gonna have... All right, let's get a move on.

Shh. Please, not now.

Hey, you okay? Yeah.

You sure? I'm okay.

Do you have a reservation for Callan, please?

You're all registered, Mr. Callan.

I'm all registered?

Mrs. Callan checked in a few minutes ago.

Everything all right?

Oh, yeah, everything's terrific.

Do we have our rooms?

Wait a minute.

Uh, could I see you over here for a minute, please?

Could I see you over here for a minute, please?

What's the matter?

As far as I can make out,

Anne has just checked into our room.

Oh, no, I knew it. Oh, my God.

Look, we can just go someplace else.

On Parents' Weekend,

everything's booked within 50 miles of here.

Well, then I'll sleep in the car.

I could sit up all night in the diner.

Maybe the earth will just open up and swallow me.

Hi, everybody.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. How are you?

I'm fine.

Oh, that's a nice kiss.

This is wonderful.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you.

It's great to see you.

Uh, hi.

Did you see Lisa? No, I haven't yet.

Oh, she looks terrific. She does?

Oh, yeah. Oh, good. I miss her.

Hi. I'm Ginny.

Oh, this is Ginny Newley.

How do you do? I... We've spoken on the phone, I believe.

Yes, I... I think we have.

Okay, I got that taken care of.

Oh, hi, Anne, how are you?

Fine, Nick, I'm fine. How are you?

I'm fine.

Well, now that we all know we're fine,

is there anything else we ought to talk about?

Jack, don't, uh, don't try to get to the heart of things,

just let it lay there.

Why are we all pretending we're not embarrassed?

Why don't we just say how we feel?

I feel, uh, like I wish you would just sort of shut up.

Okay.

Lisa's on her way over here.

I'm gonna have lunch with her, okay?

Okay. I'll... I'll have dinner with her.

Fine.

Fine.

More fine, good. That's great.

Hmm.

Listen, it's lovely to see you all. It really is.

Okay, goodbye.

Talk to you later, honey. Take care.

It was very nice to meet you.

Of course. Thank you, Miss Newley.

See, what was wrong with that?

Claudia, come on.

Do you have my room? Dr. Zimmer?

There won't be any more Zimmers coming in, will there?

Better not be.

Anne? Hold on. Wait a second, huh?

Anne.

God, that must've been murder for you in there.

I'll get used to it.

Shall we talk? I have a feeling we should talk.

Well, uh...

Actually I have the feeling

that, um, you're all deserting me.

Deserting you?

Yes.

You had that, uh, party on Labor Day

and you asked Nick but not me.

Anne! That's because he was with her.

We couldn't invite you both to the same party.

We would've been nervous wrecks.

Anne, we love you.

Uh, look, next week why don't we have dinner?

We'll... we'll go see a movie. Huh?

Good, I would like that.

You know, you're right, it's true.

We've talked to you on the phone a few times

but in the last couple of months,

we have let you drift out of our lives.

Has it been really tough?

Not bad.

Actually, um, it's been pure shit.

But it could be worse.

How do you get through the day?

I work.

But I tend to, uh, lose track.

I get on the bus and I forget where I'm going

and I watch the streets go by

and I just hope to God

that one of them will remind me what I'm there for.

Oh, it's not as bad as all that.

I've been trying to get out of my rut.

I am thinking

about, uh, uh, going to Czechoslovakia.

Why?

Because I've never wanted to go to Czechoslovakia.

And it's something new,

and I'm trying very hard, you know, to be less, uh, what, uh, compulsive.

To be a little bit more spontaneous.

Last week, I bought a snake.

You bought a snake?

It felt kind of strange at first, but, uh,

once you get used to him, he's lovely. He's lovely.

He's a nice pet.

Yeah? Yeah.

He's disgusting to start with because he eats mice alive.

You've really been through the wringer, haven't you?

Uh, I'm all right. I really am all right.

In fact, in some ways I think I'm stronger than ever.

The only thing is that

every time I think about going to Czechoslovakia

I, uh, I start to cry.

I'll... I'll stop by for Lisa later.

And we're gonna call you Monday for dinner, okay?

Okay. Anne?

What?

Will you call me at the office?

Because I think I can get an assignment for you.

I love you.

Do me a favor

and don't tell Nick about the snake, all right?

No.

He thinks I'm crazy as it is.

I'll tell you what.

To hell with Nick.

Tell him, uh, it's a goddamn boa constrictor.

I don't understand him.

How could he do that to her?

He's got a long history of doing that to her.

He's been having affairs with other women all along. Dozens!

Oh, you're kidding.

How could you not know?

They even slept at your apartment once.

Where was I?

You gave him your keys so he could feed your cat

and water your plants when you went away for the weekend.

Didn't you notice the funny look on the cat's face

when you came home?

That son of a bitch.

He told you all this?

He told me some of it.

Some of it came out when he was under gas.

I don't know.

Jeez!

I've lost all my illusions about that guy.

Every time I think about him I get angry and depressed.

I just can't believe that of him.

Ah, maybe it's this time of the year.

Always hated autumn.

Everybody says it's so beautiful

but for me it's just... just another time of death.

I always get psoriasis in autumn.

Danny, believe me, you're not gonna die from psoriasis.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just trying to comfort you. Don't get paranoid.

How come everyone thinks I'm paranoid?

You discuss this behind my back, don't you?

Danny, relax, would you?

Come on, come on, I'm sorry.

If you could just realize what a terrific person you are

you wouldn't think everybody was out to get you.

Don't try to analyze me, okay?

First, I'm not your patient.

Second, you're not a doctor.

I'm just trying to help.

You're not helping, you're patronizing me.

So cut it out, okay? Okay. Okay.

Don't... don't get so overwrought.

What can I do for you?

First of all, you can take your arm off my shoulder

and stick it up your ass.

Look, sweetheart, I know what you're going through.

My parents separated when I was a kid, too.

I hated them for it.

I promised myself that when I grew up

I'd remember what it was like and never do that to one of mine.

Trouble is, now I see it from the other side.

But you've very mature for your age. You're resilient.

This will pass and in no time you'll be singing and laughing.

Believe me, you're gonna be laughing.

Look, your entire world doesn't revolve around me.

You've got your own life to live.

You've made some friends at your dorm, right?

Not really.

Most of the people I've met here

have a peculiar idea of a good time.

Like what?

They get drunk and piss off the balconies.

What about the girls?

I'm talking about the girls.

You're kidding me, right?

I'm kidding you?

You think it's a joke to have to walk home

on a clear night with an umbrella?

Haven't you got any friends here?

They don't interest me.

Oh, come on. There must be somebody.

Hey!

What about that kid from, uh, Ohio?

Yeah, Marilyn Oupenski.

Yeah. She was great.

She was a lot like me. A lot like me.

Her parents made her go home.

Why?

She tried to swallow a bottle of pills.

Why didn't you tell me?

What for?

Lisa, if the one person you identify with in this place

happens to swallow a bottle of pills

don't you think I'd be mildly interested?

You keep making all these decisions

that affect my life without asking me.

That doesn't seem to bother you.

You know what this is? This is emotional blackmail.

I'm trying to appeal to your sense of intelligence and maturity

you sit there like the Bride of Frankenstein talking about suicide.

Come on, sweetheart.

You're not as morose as all that and you know it.

You got a great big smile down there somewhere

and you just won't let it out.

Come on, give in.

Let's have a nice big smile.

I know you got one in there.

I can see it sitting there, dying to come out.

Here it comes.

I can see it curling up at the corner of your mouth.

Come on, here it comes.

Here comes the smile.

Smile, Goddamn it!

All right, don't.

I think you should apologize to her.

For what?

I got excited, I spoke my mind

I said I was sorry and it's over and done with.

I don't understand how you can hurt someone

as guileless and vulnerable as Ginny.

She sure took on a lot of mystical qualities

once you saw her swimming naked.

How can you say that?

I just say what I think. Mmm-hmm.

Well, maybe that's the problem.

Why do you always have to say what you think?

You think your thoughts should just fall down from your brain

onto your tongue like a gumball machine!

Danny, I am not gonna start watching what I think

or what I feel! I am Italian!

I know you're Italian!

I don't wanna hear any more how you're Italian!

Wait. Wait, here.

Wait. Just wait, wait, wait.

Hello out there! This woman is Italian!

All right!

You no longer have to announce

your ethnic origin in this state!

Everybody in Connecticut knows you're Italian!

And when we cross the border,

I'll take out an ad in the New York Times.

What's with him?

I don't know.

What's with you?

I'm sorry. I just feel very let down by you.

Why? What have I done to you?

What is your idea of a close intimate friendship?

What does that mean to you?

I don't understand.

I've hurt you in some way?

I happen to know you betrayed your wife dozens of times.

If I did, that's what I did to her. What did I do to you?

You didn't tell either of us.

Hey, wait a minute.

Let's take you one at a time.

You can understand my not telling her, right?

I can't understand you saying on the one hand

that you could tell me anything.

And on the other hand not telling me a goddamn thing except what suits you.

I feel as betrayed as she does.

Jack, all I've ever gotten from you

is judgment and disapproval.

You expect me to come and tell you

every time I've had an affair with a hatcheck girl?

That's who you were having affairs with?

Hatcheck girls?

No!

They were all intelligent, worthy women. The top in their field.

I can't tell you their names

but two of them were Margaret Thatcher and Indira Gandhi.

When you wanna talk intelligently, I'll talk.

Otherwise, forget it.

When did you get this?

Couple of weeks ago.

Do you have any good friends here?

Mmm-hmm, I like this.

Who are your friends?

People.

Good.

What about Lisa?

Forget it.

When you were in high school

you were on the phone with her almost every night.

Not anymore.

What's the problem?

She's such a bitch sometimes!

Sh-she just gets... I don't know.

She says she'll meet me someplace

and she doesn't show up.

Sometimes she'll just sit there for an hour

without talking.

It's like she's trying to test me

and see how much shit I'll take.

She probably is.

I hate it!

Hey, babe, come here.

What if, uh,

what if you just accepted her for what she is, huh?

I do.

Trouble is, what she is, is a bitch.

Oh.

When she acts like that, maybe you...

maybe you could just laugh at her.

You know, like she was a character in a story.

Mom, that's impossible.

Why?

Because it is. Forget it. Change the subject.

Okay.

What other friends do you have?

Oh, stop it! Be quiet! Time to stop talking now!

I'm closing off your breath! Here we go!

This is so good.

Mmm, I hope this is homemade.

Just look at all those calories.

Do you want a bite?

Oh, God, I got too much in my mouth.

Thank you.

You are such a slob.

Okay. That's $23 from Nick

$24.50 from Jack and $16 from me

But let's split it three ways.

Then why tell us what everybody spent?

Because if there's a discrepancy in anyone's share

it will benefit everyone to know about it.

How can I know what my share was unless I compulsively added up

my bill the whole time I was eating?

Oh, now I'm compulsive.

10 minutes ago, I was paranoid.

Give me the check, I'll pay it.

I'm sorry. I'm not a member of the Million Dollar Roundtable.

You want the check? Here, you got it.

Come on, you're a successful dentist.

That's right.

And this is a checkup and cleaning.

Takes me a long time to scrape, polish,

and poke to make this.

Hey, Danny, calm down.

Please don't tell me to calm down.

This is the second time today somebody's told me to calm down.

I'm sorry, it's only my first.

If he wants to keep the books, let him keep them.

I don't want to keep the books.

I'll pay the check.

Again, I am not upset.

Don't get upset.

I told you, I was not upset.

Here, take the check.

I don't want the check. I'm not upset.

Don't get him upset, will you?

I didn't get him upset! You got him upset.

I told you, I'm not upset.

This is ridiculous. Why do you...

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

It really took off a lot of skin.

What are you doing?

I've been out in the cold all day and my skin is dry.

I wonder if they have any ice down the hall.

Gee, I don't know. Why don't you go see?

Are you mad at me?

You got it.

You picked a hell of a time to get irrational.

Oh, I'm not irrational. Rational people get angry!

Irrational people pretend they don't.

Okay, just stop it right there!

I have a very bad temper! Don't make me use it!

Use it.

I don't happen to think there's anything wrong with anger.

I'm going to be very calm about this.

Why do you resent me?

Because when you fight you get calm.

You don't like that?

It drives me nuts.

I also don't like having to guess your every need

when you don't give a damn about mine.

I don't like that a lot!

What needs do you have that I don't give a damn about?

Don't you ever feel like going someplace alone with me?

You want to take a vacation without them?

I have this perverse desire to be married to one person at a time.

I don't know, it excites me!

I thought... I thought you liked them.

I adore them, but it's getting so I can't breathe!

Anne doesn't know how lucky she is to be out!

You know,

Danny probably has his ear pressed

to that door listening to everything.

Danny dear,

please don't be offended. You know how fond I am of you

but I think your Mercedes sucks.

You the one who organizes these trips.

And I hate it.

Doesn't it ever occur to you that sometimes

I'd like to be the one with the sore knee?

No.

You handle everything like the most efficient people I know!

Uh, nobody can do what you do.

My God, you're perfect.

How dare you call me that?

How dare I call you perfect? Yes.

Yes, isn't that what I heard?

What's wrong with perfect? How can you get upset?

Because when I'm perfect, I cease to exist!

Y-you don't have to hug me when... when I'm low

or cheer me up with a bunch of $2 daffodils.

I don't surprise you with daffodils?

You know I do. You know I do.

When you feel like it!

When it makes you feel good, but not when I need them!

Goddamn it! I'm standing here bleeding!

Blood is running down my leg and we're talking about daffodils!

Because I also resent you for hurting yourself.

Oh, oh, oh.

And that's not irrational, huh?

You think I like to see you so jealous of Nick

that you have to tackle him?

You think that makes me feel good?

We should get to the heart of this.

The heart of this

is that you wish you had some blonde nymph

adoring you like he does.

So go on! Go find one!

Christ, how long you going to hang on to these fantasies?

The reality is you're married to a middle-aged woman

with a good sense of humor and dry skin!

And if you don't like it then go find yourself a nymph.

Just do me the courtesy of telling me.

In other words, and I mean this in the most loving way,

shit, or get off the pot!

Katherine, I'm sorry to say this.

What? Say it!

You 're making me furious.

You're furious now?

I'm enraged.

How can you tell? I can't see the difference!

Maybe you could learn to stamp your foot as a signal.

Look, try this!

Will you shut up?

You know how that voice carries?

When you're mad at me, I expect to see it.

I don't want to read about it

two years from now in your goddamn diary!

You know how our good times together come in waves?

Right now I would say we were in a very deep trough.

Hi, guys.

How you doing?

Great.

God, is Nick sore.

Poor guy.

He just loves to be babied.

Think that's enough?

- Well, see you tomorrow. - Hurry up!

I'm coming! Bye.

Good night.

Jack! What do you say?

Come on! Come on!

Oh, shit!

Wait right out there.

The doctor wants us to wait outside.

He really amazes me.

We'll see you in five minutes.

You all right, babe? I'll see you around.

What's this? Crutches!

Crutches are havoc.

What's that?

What?

That. The limping stuff? What is it?

I got a blister.

Excuse me.

Doctor?

Ginny, I don't...

Could you look at his leg, too, please?

Sure. After we're finished here.

You can hop up on the table.

There's nothing wrong with me!

You landed awful hard once. I saw you.

Nick, I saw it, too.

- We saw it! - I saw that, too.

All right. All right. All right.

You want to take an X-ray of my foot, go ahead.

Take my picture. Which one?

I'll tell you the funniest sight in the world was.

It was you going on that jump.

You looked like a dying turkey.

The arms and the legs started to go. I thought I would die!

Listen, the thing to do is take the boat

from Southampton when you're traveling.

Oh, yeah?

And take...

It's climbing a quarter of a degree an hour.

I'm not going out in that cold anymore.

That's exactly half of us felled by disaster on our first day.

So what do you suppose we should do now?

How about if we talk?

Talk?

Ever since we saw the kids up at school, we've been walking on eggs.

I'm gonna get coffee. What do you mean?

We have dinner, we talk about the kids, we talk about the news

but we... we don't really talk.

About what?

About us.

You're gonna jump over me but I think we should clear the air.

Oh, no!

Please, some of us aren't feeling too well, do you mind?

We should sit down for a while and hash this thing out.

I'd rather have my teeth drilled.

What do you want to open up a big can of worms for?

Because I thought it was worth it. Forget it.

All right!

Okay, that's it.

Did you see this?

I saw it.

Anne's got pictures in it.

Yeah.

She's making friends, she's working, she's never been better.

And you'll notice, these are pictures of people,

not kumquats.

I saw it.

Hey, guys,

why don't we have some fun?

You know that roadhouse, about 15 miles from here?

Yeah?

They're going to have music tonight, right?

I mean, we can't all dance

but we could sit and have a beer, listen to the music.

Here we go. I'd like to get out of here.

I think that's a swell idea.

I'm not against having a good time.

Let's have fun.

Don't hurt yourself laughing.

When are you going to forgive me for marrying Ginny, ever?

You can do anything you want.

Oh, thanks.

Where's the warmth you're always talking about?

You're as cold as that frozen lake.

I adore Ginny. I have nothing but the deepest affection

for both of you.

But you won't forgive me?

Is this man crazy or what?

No, he's not crazy.

You want us to level with one another?

The truth is we're all mad at you.

We love Ginny but we're upset because Anne isn't here.

Maybe they're mad, but I'm not.

Well, good.

As long as we're all honest and open.

Is this the fun part? Are we having fun yet?

Ow!

Damn it!

% %

What can I get you, folks?

Beer for me.

And I'll have a J&B on the rocks, too.

Great band.

You know, I always wondered what happened

to the old Glen Miller arrangement.

So you don't think I'm honest, huh?

Okay, Jack, forget it. I'm sorry I said it.

No, say what you think.

Do you really want me to? Yeah.

Well,

I think sometimes you are a little cold.

There's a little part of you always, uh,

that hangs back and judges.

You always want to get to the bottom of things

but only so long as you can make the rules.

Mmm-hmm. I see.

That's all right, it's human.

Okay, fine, I'm human. I don't mind being human.

As long as we realize you're human, too.

Yeah, I'm human.

As long as we realize that

it's also human to be the world's foremost authority

on everything from the roast beef

to the nervous system of the newt.

To be so completely obsessed with your own body

that you take your temperature at the dinner table!

Look, I think maybe you better just cool it.

No, it's all right, don't worry.

You're going a little too far.

No, it's all right.

Let me tell you something, Jack.

I'm 10 years older than you, right?

All right, I just hope that when you get to be my age

you don't smell the foul breath of death and disintegration

hanging over your shoulder the way I find it hanging over mine.

I mean, I go to sleep at night

on an ache so bad

that it simply will not go away.

I wake up in the middle of the night sweating

hearing my own bones decaying.

I have shifted into a state of entropy

that's progressing geometrically.

You see, "entropy,"

"progressing geometrically."

Y-you talk like a bad textbook.

Why don't you just speak English?

Goddamn it! I just told you my deepest fear!

Why can't you listen to what I'm saying

instead of how I'm saying it?

I mean, do you have any idea, any idea,

what it is to be afraid of death?

I can't eat my bowl of cereal anymore

because I have an irrational fear of milk.

I stand there in hallways...

I stand there in hallways

afraid to press strange elevator buttons.

I almost threw away my jockey shorts because I have this fear of elastic.

Don't laugh at him.

Go on, go on, what?

Laugh, good. I'm a fool, right?

No, Danny.

I'm a collection of eccentricities.

You think because I'm quirky, I don't hurt?

No. Well, you have it wrong.

I'm quirky because I hurt.

Oh, Danny, I'm sorry.

All right.

Come on.

Are you really afraid of your underwear?

I'm dying, she's laughing.

We're not laughing, Danny. Honest.

We are.

Forget it. Forget it. Let's listen to the music.

No, it's all right. Forget it.

Okay, come on. Danny, let's dance.

Come on.

No, thanks. No. I don't want to dance.

Danny!

Dance. Come on.

Go head, dance. Go on, dance.

Go boogie.

I'm having one hell of a time.

All right!

% In the night%

% %

% Strangers in the night% %

% %

% %

Fire.

I'm dying for some coffee.

Oh, get us some coffee.

Coffee! Hello!

Anybody home? Coffee!

Come on, give us a little smile. Come on.

Coffee!

That's nice.

You trying to get us thrown out?

There's nobody here.

I bet we're the only people in this building.

Throw me the newspaper.

Want some coffee?

Who wants coffee? You want coffee?

Danny wants coffee.

Danny needs some coffee.

% %

What? What?

Oh, God.

I think Danny's upset.

Oh, he'll be all right.

We've been joking around all night and he hasn't joined in.

I think he's hurt. I think maybe we owe him an apology.

What, because I laughed at him?

Well, yeah.

Look, Ginny,

when people have been friends as long as we have

it's not such a terrible thing

to kid somebody out of a depression.

So don't get upset about what you don't understand.

I've just about had it with you people.

What's the matter?

I'll tell you what's the matter. I'm mad.

Ginny?

I fall in love with this man,

and all of a sudden, in addition to him

I've got four constant companions!

I have to work out a new relationship

with somebody who is going through

the worst period of his life, only I can't do it alone

I've got to do it in front of four other people!

And it's not as if my privacy was invaded,

you all have let me know every single day

that I have been intruding on your territory!

Let me tell you something. As far as I'm concerned

you're all demanding and unforgiving, every single one of you.

Everybody is sweet and warm and simple

but everybody ignores me.

I'm like a leper.

I'm... I'm a blank spot where Anne used to be.

I'm going to go take a run in the snow.

I hope she'll be all right out there.

Wish I hadn't said that.

What happened?

Ginny! Ginny!

I'm going after her!

Nick!

You got a broken ankle.

She might fall down in the dark.

So what? She fell down in the daylight, she didn't hurt herself.

In the dark she might hurt herself.

Nick, she'll be okay. Rest your foot.

I'm not going to run the risk of her falling down out there.

Why not? Because she's pregnant.

Because she's pregnant?

Watch this.

Here's some real heartwarming acceptance.

You're 43 years old, you're going to start having babies?

I don't believe this.

I have to check everything with you?

As a matter of fact, I told you I wanted to start a new family.

With babies?

With what? Airedales?

Look, do what you want.

Oh, thanks very much. I really appreciate that.

Fellows, come on back inside.

It's freezing out here.

Come on, you can't go after her like that.

Come on. Come on.

Nick, please! Come on.

It's starting to get bright. Where the hell is she?

You know,

when she ran out of here I started to think of

all the friends we've had over the years

who've jogged out of our lives.

All the ones who've, uh,

who've been inconvenient to stay friendly with and it scares me.

They move to another state or they've gotten a divorce

or else we've just gotten friendly enough with them

to realize they're a kind of a pain in the ass

and pretty soon we never see them again.

I'll tell you something, Jack.

I don't want to be one of two people

alone in the world at the end of my life.

I want to have friends.

When I get old

I'd like you all to still be there.

Okay?

Why can't we just let them be?

In other words, I'm the problem?

I have to have everything my way.

I'm unforgiving and cold and judgmental, right?

Right.

Right.

We're talking about me?

Jack, you know those probing questions

you ask all the time?

You're the only one who answers them.

Everybody dances to your tune!

That makes me sound like a tyrant.

Well, so what?

I am not a tyrant, Goddamn it!

No matter what crap I get from people,

all I ever give back is a smile.

I never give a response that's anything

but fair and rational and cheerful!

Be careful! Be careful!

Why don't you let your anger out once in a while?

You want anger? There! How's that?

Is that angry enough for you?

How about that?

Is that angry enough for you? Now is that angry enough?

Here, how about this?

What the hell you doing?

You know what I expect from you.

I expect closeness

and warmth and unconditional acceptance.

And all I get from you is secretiveness

and neurosis and a lot of...

Goddamn it! Jesus Christ!

Put it down!

I'm not paying for this! This is your expense!

Yeah, bet your life!

All right, stop that! Is that angry enough for you, huh?

Stop that! All right, stop it!

Stop it! That's enough! That's all, stop it!

Come on! Settle down!

Come here. Sit down.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

I wonder what other people do on their vacations?

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Jesus, look what I did.

So you freaked out a little.

So what?

I lost complete control of myself.

Jack, nobody cares.

Hey. What?

You're not the best little boy in the world.

I hate to break this to you, but you're not the worst little boy, either.

You know, sometimes when you say things like that

I really hate you.

Thank you.

You know, sometimes I hate you.

Nick, what are you doing?

I got to go find her.

Wait a minute. You stay.

I'll go find her.

No, I can do it.

Nick, look, please. I want to.

Let me go, please.

Thanks, but I can do it.

No, I'll do it.

No, I'll do it!

You sit down and wait for me.

I'll be right back!

Will you get out of my way?

Jack! Don't be ridiculous!

He's got a broken ankle!

You've got a torn ligament.

You guys wouldn't get 10 feet in that snow.

I'd get farther than he can.

I'd get farther than both of you.

What do you guys think a pregnant woman is? An invalid?

I'll be back in two minutes.

Better start fixing up this place.

That moose is going to cost a fortune.

Ginny! Don't move, I'll be right there!

Stay right there!

Oh!

Hey, wait! Help me!

Help me!

Run to the lodge! Go get help!

I can't get out!

Run! Go faster, faster!

Help! Help!

Are you all right?

Danny went through the ice and he can't get out!

Jack! Please help.

Help! Help!

Quick!

Jack, don't go too far out!

Okay. Danny!

Lift up your arms!

This side.

Wait a minute.

Ready here!

Get your arm around that! Get it under your elbow!

God damn it, lift your arm up!

Danny, get it around!

Okay, hold onto the rope.

I got the blanket.

Okay, go!

Back it up.

Okay, go back. Go ahead.

Go back slowly.

Easy! Easy! Easy!

Pull the rope!

Easy.

That's it, Danny.

Go on, keep going!

Keep going!

All right, hold it!

Danny!

Danny!

Danny? How is he?

Danny!

Don't say that!

Danny?

Danny?

Breathe, honey!

Little more! Rub... rub his legs.

Come on. Come on, sweetheart.

Thank God!

Danny, are you all right?

Are you all right, honey?

You almost drowned.

Keep covered up.

Thanks, I'm okay. I'm okay. Thank you.

I almost died, and thank you.

Get him up!

Oh, my God! My Mercedes!

How could you drive my Mercedes on thin ice?

Oh!

Danny, come on, get up.

Come on.

Oh, God!

Get off the blanket.

It was brand new!

In three years, I could have gotten twice what I paid for it!

Danny, Danny, we'll get someone to fish it out for you.

What the hell am I going to do with a rusty Mercedes?

It's gone!

It's gone.

It sank like a stone.

Danny!

You are alive. You have your life.

You have us and we love you, so shut up!

Come on, Dan.

Go in. You're going to freeze to death.

Get into the lodge and get warm.

Sorry. I just got a little crazy.

I'm sorry. What do I care about the car.

It's you I care about.

Let's go! Come on!

To hell with the car, thank you.

Oh, my God, you sank my car!

Get back.

Get back to the lodge and shut up!

All right, I'm okay. To hell with the car.

It's you I love.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Why'd you have to take it on the ice?

Will you shut up, for Christ's sake!

We just saved your goddamn life!

What were you trying to rescue me for, anyway?

I was fine!

I'm sick of this macho bullshit!

No more stunts, okay?

Okay, yeah.

You guys really piss me off, you know that?

Yeah, we heard you.

It's gone. I'll never see it again.

Please, Danny.

I say we come back next winter.

Will you listen to me. Follow this...

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