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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,200 My name is Cara. Do I have to say my whole name? 3 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,960 No. Be ridiculous. 4 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,760 Model, check. Activist/actor, check. 5 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,080 Privileged western white woman, check, check, check. 6 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,200 That's a lot of labels. 7 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,120 But sexual identity... well, like loads of us, 8 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,080 I'm still working all that out. 9 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:42,480 I date men, but, oh, do I love women and everyone in between. 10 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,360 I was born female, but often feel like a guy. 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,560 - Wow. - Wow. 12 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,720 My sex life, my gender... 13 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,800 I'm just living off this queer energy. 14 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,800 ... my relationships. 15 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,200 A pussy sandwich. 16 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,240 All a bit of a hot mess. 17 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,680 This is the first time I've spoken like this ever in my life. 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,880 So sexy queer-tastic people of the world... 19 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,080 - My vagina. - That's your vagina! 20 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,400 ... I'm coming to get ya. 21 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,040 - And I want answers. - Very quickly. 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,720 Like, how many sexual identities are there? 23 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:19,840 Yay! 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,360 Is monogamy dead? 25 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,560 He's definitely not faithful. Look at that guy. 26 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,760 What makes us hot... or not? 27 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,160 Stunning! 28 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,200 And how can we pleasure seekers get our hands on more orgasms? 29 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,600 Start masturbating now. 30 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,840 The most important thing about life is connections with other humans. 31 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,640 Is that not the point of being alive? 32 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,760 A land of clits. 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,360 We don't talk enough about how we can help each other. 34 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,960 Most people won't have ever had these conversations. 35 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,560 So let's talk about it. 36 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,920 Oh, hello! 37 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,320 Yes, just casually judging a queer twerking competition. 38 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,400 In the absolute effing hottest place on Earth 39 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,560 and having a jolly good time, thank you very much. 40 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,960 Nice crowd. Loving the crowd's vibe today! 41 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,120 Why am I here? 42 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,840 Well, there's so much to know about the world of sex, 43 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,440 but I want to start with sexual orientation. 44 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,120 We love lesbians! 45 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,400 Where does it come from? Is it fixed or fluid? 46 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,040 I want to meet people who live openly and authentically, 47 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,040 to unlearn the shame I've struggled with for years 48 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,920 and accept my identity. 49 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,920 Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy queer ride folks. 50 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,400 We're just gonna talk about being gay. 51 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,560 Go gay. Queers here. 52 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,680 - Cara Dele-queer. - Yes. 53 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,080 Serious. 54 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,440 How would I define my sexual identity? 55 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,760 I'm a Q for sure, I don't know. 56 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,520 I always have kind of believed in the no labels thing, 57 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,560 but have spent a lot of time then saying, 58 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,480 "I'm bisexual. I'm pansexual." 59 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,800 I am queer. 60 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,200 I'm a hundred percent can tell you that I'm queer. 61 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,560 I just don't know what else I can say other than that. 62 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,160 What do you think you'll discover 63 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,120 in this amazing journey we are on about your sexualities? 64 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,680 Even though I've been queer, 65 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,080 I haven't really been able to live a queer life. 66 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,720 You know, the internalised shame or the kind of homophobia 67 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,240 is slightly there still. 68 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,480 When you are in this job or when you are famous, 69 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,640 or something, it stunts a lot of things, 70 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,320 and, like, I didn't really develop my queerness. 71 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,360 So I think I'm just coming to it all very late. 72 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,720 Does that make sense? Cool. 73 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,480 I don't know where I expected this journey to begin, 74 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,400 but it wasn't slap bang in the middle of the desert. 75 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,560 What do I know about Palm Springs? 76 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,640 It's hot. It's a desert. 77 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,800 This is a place where old people go to die. 78 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,160 Joking. That's a joke. 79 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,680 It's hot. It's so hot. Why do people come here? 80 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,120 It's so hot! 81 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,360 Well, apparently, if you're LGBTQ+, this is the place for us. 82 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,040 Once a desert hangout for the 1960's Hollywood Rat Pack, 83 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,800 Palm Springs is now one of the queerest towns in America 84 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,680 and was the first to have an all LGBTQ+ council. 85 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,920 So it's a good place to dip my toe in the water, 86 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,960 at the mother of all queer women events. 87 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,760 - I'm checking in, please. - Yeah, of course. 88 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:12,280 Delevingne. D-E-L-E... V-I-N-G-N-E. 89 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,000 It's hard to spell. 90 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,360 Yes, it's true. 91 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,120 I've still never been to Pride or anything like that, 92 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,640 so this will be my very first proper queer day out. 93 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,120 Sheesh. 94 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,440 So, do you come here often? 95 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,080 So scared. Scared. 96 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,880 - Where are you going? - Where am I going? 97 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,240 - Am I meant to go this way? - I'm a Cancer. 98 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,040 - I like long walks on the beach. - So do I. 99 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,160 Okay, deep breath. 100 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,160 You guys are, like, the least subtle posse ever. 101 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,560 Like this is not it. Yeah. 102 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,520 I don't really know what to expect. 103 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,920 Go round. A board. 104 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 But how intense could it be? 105 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,520 Are we gonna go in, though? 106 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,840 This is the Dinah Shore Weekend, 107 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,120 the biggest lesbian pool party in the world. 108 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,240 15,000 women, trans and non-binary folk 109 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,720 out here in the desert. 110 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,880 You're coming in and you just see 111 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,760 an ocean of women and titties and glitter and pasties. 112 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,640 A lot of dancing, a lot of twerking, 113 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,600 a lot of making out, a lot of happy times. 114 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,560 Different body types. Different ethnicities. I love it. 115 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,440 It's like Disneyland for lesbians. 116 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,040 It's clear I won't survive unless I find friends ASAP. 117 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,400 Luckily, I got me some neighbours, Kimber and Lilly, to hold my hand. 118 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,240 - All right, Dinah on three. - One, two, three! Dinah! 119 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,280 Oh, my God. 120 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,240 That was the gayest thing I've ever done. 121 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,120 Really? I don't believe you. 122 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,640 - Let's go! - Welcome to Dinah Shore. 123 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,040 Soak it in. 124 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,760 And then a twerking contest. 125 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,920 Yeah! 126 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,080 Nice crowd. Loving the crowd's vibe today! 127 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,880 Look, the whole thing was face-meltingly loud, 128 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,760 so you'll have to read the next bit. 129 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,240 - This makes me emotional so much. - Why? 130 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,520 I have never been to anything like this. 131 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,600 Just here's, like, hot and amazing and fun. 132 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,040 And, like, just like... 133 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,280 There's nothing hotter than people living their best life. 134 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,760 But being here with this gorgeous, 135 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,000 colourful smorgasbord of queer people 136 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,200 has been intense. 137 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,880 What just happened? What didn't happen? 138 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,160 I don't know, I think... I guess... I.. I don't know. 139 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,040 I'm out and I'm proud, you know, to a certain extent. 140 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,800 But in my own life, I didn't really find a community. 141 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,760 I didn't really speak, like, experience these sort of things. 142 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,840 I did it in the public eye, which again allowed myself to be... 143 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,280 pointed fingers at, 144 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,760 or feel more of the hate than I guess the love. 145 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,000 So it's a lot. It's just a beautiful place. 146 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,880 Obviously, when you look at the footage, 147 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,520 it's arses and everyone dancing and having the best time, 148 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,520 but for me it feels so much more than that, 149 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,720 'cause it's just so much love and that, you know. 150 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,680 Oh, God, this is the journey. 151 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,880 This is the discovery of... I don't know, yeah. 152 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,720 Like, I feel... This is... Like, I'm feeling things. 153 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,080 I don't usually do that. 154 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,920 I didn't realise until now how reassuring it is 155 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,360 to be with people who share the same feelings as me. 156 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,720 I've been living in my own world, 157 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,360 when there's this whole big LGBTQ+ wonderland out there. 158 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,760 In today's queer kaleidoscope, 159 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,720 there are a lot of ways to define yourself. 160 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,880 Bears have a flag. I love that. 161 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,720 And dozens of different types of sexual orientation. 162 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,760 So chic, darling. 163 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,200 Don't know the difference between your As and bis and pans? 164 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,720 Don't worry, I'll call a doctor. 165 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:55,080 Dr Ronx is an ER medic, queer activist and educator. 166 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,840 They'll help me straighten it all out. 167 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,280 Well, not straight-straighten. Look, you know what I mean. 168 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,920 I love your trainers, babe. 169 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,320 Just to be clear, gender is how you feel inside. 170 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,680 Sexual orientation, that's who you fancy... or not. 171 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,240 Okay, let's go! 172 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,480 "Lesbian." 173 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,200 A lesbian is a woman who is attracted to another woman. 174 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,760 - "Gay." - A term men use 175 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,240 to say that they are attracted to other men. 176 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,200 It's also an umbrella term 177 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,920 for anybody that is not heterosexual. 178 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,200 - "Bisexual." - Bisexual people 179 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,760 - fancy men and women. - "Pansexual." 180 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:38,120 People who are attracted to other people, 181 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,240 regardless of their gender identity. 182 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:48,160 - "Asexual." - People who are not sexually attracted 183 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,840 - to other individuals. - "Queer." 184 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,480 Everybody under the LGBTQI umbrella, 185 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,200 but not everybody identifies as queer. 186 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,240 We've evolved and so has our flag, 187 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,640 from a simple rainbow to a cornucopia of colours. 188 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,720 Now called the Progress Flag. 189 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,800 It symbolises where as a society we aim to progress to, 190 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,800 encompassing the whole spectrum of sexual and gender identities. 191 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,600 I love that there's so many more types of sexuality 192 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,000 being recognised than ever before, 193 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,920 and more openly queer people on the planet. 194 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,880 36% of Gen Z say they feel some level of same sex attraction, 195 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,520 twice as many as their grandparents' generation. 196 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,760 What's driving this big queer leap? 197 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,840 I think it's because so many more of us 198 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,760 are unlearning the shame and standing up to be counted. 199 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,520 Here's what I love about Tokyo. 200 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,280 A busy modern city and yet bang in the middle of it, 201 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,480 ancient traditional scenes like this. 202 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,120 And this the ceremony hall. 203 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,920 Kodo Nishimura is the master of this Buddhist temple. 204 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,400 - It's like a wedding ceremony. - I know, look. 205 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,080 I feel like we could be married. 206 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,720 We have shared beliefs. 207 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,800 He grew up right here in this temple. 208 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,120 But even as a child, Kodo felt different from the other kids. 209 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,360 I noticed that I shouldn't talk about my interest in boys publicly, 210 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,840 and I felt like a perverted person. 211 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,240 I was constantly feeling 212 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,840 like there was a huge black cloud above my head. 213 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,880 Back then, gay people couldn't live as openly in Japan. 214 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,240 Kodo needed to find a place that accepted who he was. 215 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,360 Moving to the US was such a liberation for me. 216 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,840 I was learning about the history of LGBTQ community, 217 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:04,680 how people in the past have vote for our rights. 218 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:09,040 So if I can bring that to Japan, I felt that would be cool. 219 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:17,280 Kodo returned to Tokyo in 2013 to champion gay rights, 220 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,280 and discovered to his surprise the old family business of Buddhism 221 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,240 had been ready to welcome him in all along. 222 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,880 What I later found out, Buddhism is very embracing. 223 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,720 It says the mercy of Buddha is just like the moonlight. 224 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,280 Anybody who looks up to the moon can appreciate the beauty. 225 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,920 We can prioritise our uniquenesses and shine in our own colour. 226 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,640 - Here you go. - Oh, my gosh! 227 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,960 - Wonderful style of shirts. - Do you want to open these too? 228 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,160 Oh, my gosh, she loves the jewellery! 229 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,920 I think the courage to speak up 230 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,280 is actually cooler than pretending to be perfect. 231 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,720 - Yes, I completely agree with you. - So... Yeah. 232 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,280 - So... - High five to that. 233 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,000 So, now I'm gonna transform and... 234 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,560 Transform away. I will leave you. I will love you and leave you. 235 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,160 Okay, cool. 236 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,920 Today Kodo is a celebrity in his homeland 237 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,040 and not just as a Buddhist monk, 238 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,240 but something totally extra. 239 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,360 For his powers of glam as a makeup artist. 240 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,760 I can approach people's hearts with Buddhist teachings, 241 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,160 and I can also approach their outer attributes using makeup. 242 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,040 They both help people to gain confidence or balance. 243 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,880 Yes, gorgina. 244 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,040 - Oh, my God, you look amazing. - Thank you. 245 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,400 One foot in fashion and one foot in ancient tradition. 246 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,520 And, for Kodo, it works. 247 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,560 What would you like for the future and for the future of Japan? 248 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,960 If I can inspire leaders of the world, 249 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:02,360 also religious leaders, to lift laws against LGBTQ people, 250 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,440 that would be wonderful, because we have to be safe to be us. 251 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,280 And we're not going anywhere. 252 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,520 Society grows naturally like a tree. 253 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,360 So if you just keep watering, it's gonna grow, and I have hope 254 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,120 that all communities can learn diversity 255 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,760 and celebrate its beauty. 256 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:27,280 What an incredibly strong but also wise person he is. 257 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,440 No matter how much the traditional side 258 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,720 has probably stopped him from wanting to be the certain way, 259 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,560 his heart and his light shone through. 260 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,040 And I really... I've just learnt a lot from him. 261 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,600 It made me very emotional. It made me just so proud. 262 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,640 Being happy in yourself within yourself 263 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,320 gives you the resources to be able to help other people, 264 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000 and that's what is most important in the world. 265 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,160 There are just little glimpses into people 266 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,360 who are really brilliant and radical and rebels, 267 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,800 and it's a beautiful thing. 268 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,640 Radicals and rebels made same sex relationships legal 269 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,640 in my home country 50 years ago. 270 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,560 But growing up, the messaging from the people around me 271 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,480 could still be heard loud and clear. 272 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,680 I couldn't talk to anyone about it, and I definitely had 273 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,480 a lot of, like, internalised homophobia and shame. 274 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:21,840 I thought that I was, like, abnormal and I... that I wasn't right. 275 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,720 Everyone else was right and I was wrong, 276 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,280 'cause I wasn't like everyone else. 277 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,360 I thought about ending my life. Like, I had, like, multiple times. 278 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,280 And, like, I'm so glad I didn't 279 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,320 because if I can help any other kid, that means the world to me, 280 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,200 that means the world to that little queer kid 281 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,200 that I was or am. 282 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,280 The thing is, I've always wondered 283 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,120 why I feel so much shame about my sexuality. 284 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,840 Because, honestly, people, this stuff is not new. 285 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,320 Since humans have walked the Earth, there have been queer folk. 286 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,160 From famous gays like Ancient Greek Alexander the Great 287 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,920 to Aztec god of homosexuality, Xōchipilli. 288 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,680 Through plenty of British kings, who are apparently queens. 289 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:11,040 Two Williams, two Richards, an Edward, a James, 290 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,760 and, of course, Queen Anne. 291 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,640 Same sex attraction has been around 292 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,040 for a long time and in a lot of places. 293 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,920 So what shapes our sexual orientation? 294 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,880 Is it nature or is it nurture? 295 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,800 Is it something that happened to me growing up, or was I born this way? 296 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,720 Well, there are plenty of ideas flying around, 297 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,600 but one person who studies this area is Dr Gerulf Rieger. 298 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,680 He believes answers lie in our biology. 299 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,400 Think about it like this. The majority of us are straight. 300 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,560 We need our sexual orientation 301 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,120 to create babies and continue to thrive as a species. 302 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,800 So the idea that the social environment 303 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,640 has such profound influences on something so important to us 304 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,160 just doesn't make any sense. 305 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,160 Everything from overbearing mothers, boarding schools, 306 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,360 being in the Navy and having older sisters 307 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,880 has been blamed for turning people gay. 308 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,550 But if society really makes you gay, 309 00:18:10,551 --> 00:18:13,160 wouldn't there be a load more of us? 310 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,680 Gerulf thinks our sexual orientation is set much earlier, 311 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,800 before we're even born, in fact. 312 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,160 - Hello. How's everybody doing today? - Good, thank you. 313 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,560 Let's get one thing straight. 314 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,400 There's no one factor that makes us gay, 315 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,720 just a big biological cocktail of bits 316 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,400 that shape whether you swing this way, that way, or another way. 317 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,040 First up, there are numerous genes involved. 318 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:47,400 Recently we've had complex work done on the human genome 319 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,120 that suggests that there are several genes 320 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,080 that could influence a homosexual orientation. 321 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,480 There's not just one. 322 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,000 Hormones matter too. 323 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,480 Our number one educated guess is, 324 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,680 it's the level of testosterone that we're exposed to or react to 325 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,360 as an unborn child. 326 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,040 Let's say a baby girl that was exposed 327 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:13,320 to unusually high levels of testosterone 328 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,360 is more likely to become homosexual. 329 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,960 Okay, and do you want to know the baby's gender? 330 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,720 - Yes, please. - Okay. 331 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,240 - Well, it's definitely a girl. - Perfect. 332 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,680 Then it gets even weirder. 333 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,280 Another theory is mothers produce antibodies 334 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,280 in response to male babies. 335 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,720 Maybe we should call them "mantibodies." 336 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,840 When the mother is pregnant for the first time with a son, 337 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,760 she actually gets exposed to male typical proteins, 338 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,200 which is something that her own body isn't used to. 339 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,560 These antibodies stay in the mother's system. 340 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,680 Then they can affect the development of the second son 341 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,480 and could therefore disrupt 342 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,040 the regular development of his sexual orientation. 343 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,080 This suggests the greater number of older brothers you have, 344 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,040 the more likely you are to be gay, 345 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,240 only by a few percent, 346 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,480 but it's still a vital clue in this big queer puzzle. 347 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,520 So what does this all add up to? 348 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,520 Well, with so many factors involved in our sexual orientation, 349 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,920 it's no wonder there's so much diversity 350 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,800 and so many shades of gay. 351 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,440 When it comes to the question of how innate 352 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,360 is somebody's sexual orientation, 353 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,920 my educated guess is probably a hundred percent. 354 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,760 It's something that really comes from within the person. 355 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:37,600 What exactly are the ingredients, that's the million dollar question. 356 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,000 You're born this way. I'm born this way. 357 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,080 So you can pack that judginess away, thank you very much. 358 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,800 It's not a choice, which is a relief, to be honest. 359 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,920 And it's nothing me, other queer folk 360 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,720 or our parents did wrong. 361 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,560 All right, okay, but next question. 362 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,080 Is our sexuality fixed from birth, 363 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,040 or is it something that evolves and changes throughout life? 364 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,080 I still am of the belief 365 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,400 that sexuality is definitely a spectrum, 366 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,880 and I feel like mine wavers. 367 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,760 But also I'm probably definitely more on the side of women. 368 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,840 But I like having sex with men. I just don't date them. 369 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,840 I might, though. You never know. 370 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,160 But, again, I think it's a beautiful 371 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:30,000 unwavering wavering beautiful boo. 372 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,600 But if biologically speaking there are so many shades of gay, 373 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,800 how do I know for sure which one I am? 374 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,840 And what about my fluctuating sexual fluidity? 375 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,480 Is it my mind choosing who I want to have sex with 376 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,040 or who my body reacts to? 377 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,680 Sexologist Dr Marieke Dewitte 378 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,680 is an expert on what turns us on. Meow. 379 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,920 - Are you Flemish? I'm Flemish. - I'm Flemish. 380 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,200 - Fellow Flem. - Yeah. 381 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,000 So I signed up to her sex lab to watch a lot of porn, 382 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,040 all in the name of science. 383 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,400 Who wouldn't be excited by watching a whole lot of porn today? 384 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,640 Come in and welcome to our sex lab. 385 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,160 As you can see, we try to create kind of a living room effect, 386 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,960 a little bit more cosy. 387 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,560 So, we are going to present several video clips. 388 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,360 You know what I thought about? My parents watching this. 389 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,640 Well, maybe you should have thought about that before. 390 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,200 Try to ignore it. The main thing 391 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,680 is actually what you need to do, is just sit, relax 392 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,120 and try not to touch yourself and sit still. 393 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,480 Try not to? I can contain myself. 394 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,480 Try not to touch yourself and just watch the screen, yeah? 395 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,800 - Okay, perfect. - Have fun, Cara. 396 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,640 - I will. I will try. Fuck. - Yeah, definitely. 397 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,640 I'm sorry, this is what? And it goes where? 398 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,560 When you get sexually aroused, 399 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,280 more blood is being pumped into your vagina, 400 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,040 and, therefore, the colour of your vagina wall changes. 401 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,680 And this device 402 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,840 measures the amount of blood in your vagina cavity. 403 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,800 - Can I ask a question? - Sure. 404 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,840 Can you read my mind through my vagina? 405 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,880 - No. - It's going in now. 406 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,960 Right. Jesus! 407 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,760 - Can you guys see that it's in? - I can see your signal. 408 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,000 Oh, my God! My signal? What the fuck is happening? 409 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,920 I can see your vagina pulse, yes. 410 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000 Great. I love that for us. 411 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,720 Okay, try not to think about my parents 412 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,120 or about the camera 12 inches from my face. 413 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,920 My frankly ridiculous task is to watch different kinds of porn, 414 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:45,120 while Marieke's vag monitor records how aroused I am down below, 415 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,520 and I yank a lever 416 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,160 to rate how turned on I feel up above in my mind. 417 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:55,240 Okay, fire it up. First, two guys shagging each other. 418 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:59,040 Like, I can feel my breath shortening or whatever crap. 419 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,200 We can see there's something happening. 420 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,960 Then lesbian sex. 421 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,880 Yeah, okay. 422 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,720 My body feels that shivering feeling again. 423 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,640 Great. Weird. This is strange. 424 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,760 Just had a real big influx of horniness 425 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,960 and then a real big influx of shame. 426 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,680 How bad is that still? Why? 427 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,280 Straight sex. 428 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,080 He's not very good at this. 429 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,880 There's men masturbating. 430 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,200 I'm less horny than I thought I was. 431 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,600 Oh, Lord. 432 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,200 Women masturbating. 433 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,120 That just seems uncomfortable. So fake nails, bro. 434 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,080 You're gonna say something different, aren't you, vagina? 435 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,800 Then a surprise little bonus clip of some hairy monkey sex. 436 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,920 Okay, this is properly weird now. 437 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,560 Oh, my God, what's it doing? 438 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,680 It's called oral sex. 439 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,280 This is wild. Literally. 440 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,040 An hour later, thank God, that's it, I'm done. 441 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,360 I don't even know how to feel anymore. 442 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,080 - So there she is. How was it? - Do I look traumatised? 443 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,880 Not at all. Did you find it traumatising? 444 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,400 No. Maybe. 445 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:13,120 But what the F does this all mean when it comes to sexual orientation? 446 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,680 What did you see? 447 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,360 We could clearly see that your body 448 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,080 automatically reacted to a sexual stimulus. 449 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,200 So the moment there was something sexual, 450 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,760 you had this automatic genital arousal response, 451 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,000 because your body, your brain, recognises this as sexual, 452 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,240 you've learned this is sexual, so you react. 453 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,600 So it sounds like my genitals 454 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,000 find everything, human and animal, sexy. 455 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,680 But is this to be expected? 456 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,680 Your response actually matched 457 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,120 with what we saw in previous research, 458 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,080 that the genital arousal response of women 459 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,520 is rather non specific. 460 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,720 It kind of shows that for women it's sexual activity that matters. 461 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,160 It says nothing about your sexual orientation or identity. 462 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,960 'Cause matters of the genitals are not matters of the heart. 463 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,120 So sometimes women who don't identify as being lesbian, 464 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,680 they get turned on by the women, 465 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,680 and it's like, "Oh, my God, is this... ?" 466 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,120 They get confused. 467 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,400 But it's just this diversity of... 468 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,920 Yeah, women get aroused by different stimuli. 469 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,880 Phew, so this isn't some secret lust for monkeys. 470 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,080 It's a primal bodily response to sexual stuff, 471 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,040 one shared by females. 472 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:20,240 But what was my mind saying about all of this? 473 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,840 Your reactive sexual arousal clearly differed 474 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,360 depending on the type of porn you were watching. 475 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,160 And what we saw in your pattern, 476 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,400 it seems that, especially the lesbian porn in specific, 477 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,760 really turned you on in terms of reactive arousal. 478 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,640 Does it match your sexual orientation? 479 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,800 - For sure. - Do you feel attracted to women? 480 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:44,040 So generally I think women are my preferred gender, I suppose. 481 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,640 How you feel, the mental component, 482 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,680 we see that in women, it's more specific, 483 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,440 that what really turns you on 484 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,600 is kind of a little bit more tied to what you also prefer. 485 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,120 My mind is much more in sync with my own sexual orientation. 486 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,040 For males, though, it's a different story. 487 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,080 Their bodies react only to the stuff that turns on their minds. 488 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,583 Men actually only respond to stimuli 489 00:27:09,584 --> 00:27:11,160 that match their sexual orientation, 490 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,480 but in women there's much more fluidity 491 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,080 and erotic plasticity, as we call it. 492 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,440 Women's sexuality can change throughout life, 493 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,400 and they're much more diverse. 494 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,080 So both our bodies and minds 495 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,520 feed into this thing we call sexual orientation. 496 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,800 And women are more fluid and varied than men. 497 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,760 But, crucially, none of it is a choice. 498 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720 I think it's also asking yourself, or thinking, 499 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,840 "However you're feeling is not natural." 500 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,000 But it is natural because it's happening. 501 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,320 That's always what I would think, growing up with a lot of shame, 502 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,080 is thinking, "This isn't normal. this isn't human." 503 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,600 - But it's, like, it is. - Yeah. I mean... 504 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,600 Yeah, that's the sticky bit, the shame. 505 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,040 The pressure from society and the world around me growing up 506 00:27:56,120 --> 00:28:00,400 doesn't have the slightest impact on our innate sexual orientation, 507 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,880 but it sure does affect how you feel about your sexual identity. 508 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:06,720 I wrestled with that today. 509 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,800 It did bring up little silly feelings of self-identifying 510 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,440 and, like, guilt or shame, and that kind of stuff. 511 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,200 And it kind of also made me silence myself in that way 512 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,400 because I'm, like, so bored of that kind of self-projection 513 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,520 and, like, self... battery. 514 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,960 The more I tried to deny the fact that I was in any way homosexual, 515 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,480 the more I hated myself. 516 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,240 What you also try to deny 517 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,120 then kind of rears its head even more. 518 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,600 The thing is, you could say my sexuality is natural. 519 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,240 I can say, "I'm born this way. Accept it." 520 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,800 But the truth is I can still feel the stigma and the shame. 521 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,360 And I know there are many people out there 522 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,920 who have grown up in far more difficult circumstances than me. 523 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,720 I want to meet people who have lived 524 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,320 through societal shame and rejection, and fought back 525 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,760 so I can understand how to be more self-accepting. 526 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,640 Sound check. 527 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,000 My name is The Darvish, 528 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,240 and I am a Syrian performance artist, 529 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,560 an event organiser, 530 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,680 community changer and an LGBTQIA+ rights advocate. 531 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,760 And I consider myself a force of nature. 532 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,440 - Hello. - Hello, my love. 533 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,800 - My man, indeed. - Hi, my love. Oh, my goodness. 534 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,240 - How are you, my man? - Pleasure meeting you. 535 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,200 We're now entering the club. 536 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,920 We need to create some magic. 537 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,800 The Darvish is from Syria, 538 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,040 where same sex relationships are still illegal. 539 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,000 - Whoo, honey. - Honey. 540 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,680 We need a little bit of techno, and that's it basically. 541 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,080 It's literally all you need. 542 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:04,880 I realised when I'm queer probably in the age of 14. 543 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,320 Up and straight and you drop it. One and two. 544 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:13,480 And then the journey started of me immediately realising 545 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,840 that this is a taboo in the country that I am in right now, 546 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:22,080 and that it is dangerous for me to, you know, own it. 547 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,800 So, yeah, started living, um... 548 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,040 more carefully and cautiously, but gracefully. 549 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:35,200 And, yella, yeah. Use the hands, okay. 550 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,760 She's getting it. Okay. 551 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:42,040 When ISIS overtook parts of Syria, The Darvish had to make a choice. 552 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,360 The war got really serious. 553 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,160 Persecutions and executions and stuff like that. 554 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,880 That's where it really hit us we cannot be visible at all. 555 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,760 The decision over me leaving Syria, that was the hardest thing. 556 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,320 Choosing my life. 557 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,360 And... 558 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,720 Yeah. 559 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,720 One second. 560 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,480 I focused on imagining how my life would be. 561 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,560 You don't have to live a double life. 562 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,640 You don't have to pretend anymore. You don't have to act. 563 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,120 You can be you. Free. 564 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,640 The Darvish has now been safe in Berlin for six years. 565 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,440 Your mum, she understood, though, you leaving, or not? 566 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,880 Well, she didn't want to. She didn't want to understand. 567 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,720 It was very hard for her, for me to leave, 568 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,960 but I think I made my point very clear 569 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:49,320 that if I stay, there is no future for me, you know? 570 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,200 - It got too dark. - Yeah. 571 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,800 Right? I don't like it. 572 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,000 Oh, no. I thought you meant life. 573 00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,760 I said, "Yes." 574 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,280 I disagree, honey. 575 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,800 I actually have a little something for you. 576 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,840 This is for you. This is a little dervish. 577 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,160 - Yeah, whirling dervish! - Yes. 578 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:21,000 So, this is to say that you mean a lot to the community 579 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,040 and we really appreciate you, 580 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,800 and thank you so much for being with us tonight. 581 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,920 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 582 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,480 I am a whirling dervish. 583 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,360 - Perfect, I'm happy you like it. - Oh, that's so cute! 584 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,760 Tonight The Darvish will be performing 585 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,840 with their collective called Queens Against Borders, 586 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,800 working for the Trans and Queer Refugee Community. 587 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,560 Hello! 588 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,720 Okay. Thank you so much everyone 589 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,840 for being here with us at this fundraiser. 590 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,560 We're very glad that you're here. 591 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,760 Welcome to the stage, Dornika and her bad bitch Tram. 592 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,120 Yes. 593 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,480 Whoo! 594 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,600 I think finding and building a community anywhere in the world, 595 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,280 whatever community it is, is super vital. 596 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,520 The community that I have built 597 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,680 brought to me everything that I could ever imagine, 598 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,920 which is me being me. 599 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,480 Yeah! 600 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,640 Please, put your hands together 601 00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:15,080 for the gorgeous, the stunning, the beautiful, 602 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,280 the one and only, The Darvish! 603 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:30,120 I never really had any interest of politics, 604 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,680 but being the person I am is a political statement by itself. 605 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,920 I am a walking... politician, let's say. 606 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:55,680 I choose my dance and my passion and my performances 607 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,160 to say something. 608 00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:00,520 I am trying my best to have the visibility here 609 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,680 in order later to mobilise it there, in Syria. 610 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,920 I'm beginning to understand what I've been missing 611 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,400 by not being more active like The Darvish. 612 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,120 They've unlearned the shame and surrounded themselves with love. 613 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,280 It's given me so much to think about. 614 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,800 I don't really go to gay bars. I don't really know... 615 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,800 I mean, I'm a shit gay person. 616 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,440 Also because I think that comes from a deep line 617 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,680 of like not really wanting to be gay that much. 618 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,800 But like I do, it's just with every story there's been... 619 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,040 It's been plagued with some sort of, some element of heartbreak, 620 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,880 but then some massive amount of joy, you know. 621 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,720 And that's the magic of queer people. 622 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:51,040 I mean, it's an amazing gift and a curse in so many ways. 623 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,000 It's a double edged sword. 624 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,280 But that's what I always leave feeling, is joy, 625 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,800 which is... that's the rainbow, that's the community. 626 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,080 Today, across the world, 627 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,960 there are trailblazing countries where marginalised LGBTQ+ folk 628 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,080 can find that community and that joy. 629 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,160 And South Africa is a known haven for queer refugees. 630 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,360 One of the first countries to legalise same sex marriages, 631 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,400 and the only one in Africa. 632 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,280 There are LGBTQ+ church groups... 633 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,720 To find an LGBT ministry within South Africa, 634 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,960 it just makes everything better. 635 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,960 ... and queer festivals... 636 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:39,480 I actually love it because I can be whoever that I feel like. 637 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:46,680 Well, I'm a homosexual, very gay, over the top, extremely flamboyant. 638 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,560 Spaces like this are definitely important 639 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,280 because I don't know, I just feel so much more need. 640 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,880 We wanna get married and just settle down 641 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,840 and just live a beautiful life. 642 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,560 And have furry babies, 'cause I don't want actual ones. 643 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,960 I mean, come on, why wouldn't you want 644 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,320 to be a part of this big old queer family 645 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,200 when it looks like so much fun? 646 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,600 Yet, it's no wonder so many of us LGBTQ+ folks 647 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,000 still feel shamed, 648 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,880 given that even in so-called liberal countries, 649 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,800 there are laws being tabled against queer people. 650 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,040 Don't say "gay," right? 651 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,280 Which is why we need events like Dinah Shore, 652 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,120 not just to party, but as a refuge. 653 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,120 I'm back with my new friends, Kimber and Lilly. 654 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,920 I wish I could go back to myself, back when I was younger, 655 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,920 and just kind of figuring out my sexuality, 656 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,760 and I wish I could show myself what my life is today. 657 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,120 I grew up in Tennessee, 658 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,680 in a very conservative family, very religious, 659 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,360 and being gay was just, like, absolutely not acceptable. 660 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,960 Here I am all these years later, 661 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,680 and I have an unbelievable queer community around me. 662 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,440 It's just so important to not feel alone, 663 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,880 and I feel like a lot of queer people feel alone. 664 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,760 And you're not gonna feel alone here. 665 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,920 Where we live, there's not very many places... 666 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,800 - It's better now. - They're starting to accept it, 667 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,440 but you still get a little bit of a look here and there. 668 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,600 Like, do you walk down the street holding hands? 669 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,720 Probably not. 670 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,160 It's amazing for me, 671 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,840 especially, like, I didn't come out until later in life. 672 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,840 - So... - I'm an old lesbian. 673 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,120 So, yeah, for me, like, it's, um... 674 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,880 It just feels like very less, I don't know, stressful. 675 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,040 Like, I don't feel like I need to hold back. 676 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,120 I'm just... I'm pretty much me everywhere, 677 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,080 but here it's just a little extra. 678 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,480 - Like, just total. - It's emotional. 679 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:52,840 Yeah. 680 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,280 Yeah. 681 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,120 She's having a good time. That's all that matters. Sorry. 682 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,800 It's incredible to be free just for a few hours. 683 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,000 It feels like a weight has been lifted. 684 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,400 - Hey, Cara! - Yes? 685 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,200 Welcome to Palm Springs! 686 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,600 Thank you! 687 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,640 Yeah! 688 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,200 We love lesbians! 689 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,000 I now have gay friends. 690 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,960 - What have you learnt? - So, wait, I'm confused. 691 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,040 Okay, pass me back that. I need it. 692 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,680 Okay, so what have I learnt about myself? 693 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,080 I love being queer. 694 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,600 You know, this, like, internalised homophobia 695 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,040 or this repressed, you know, whatever, um... 696 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,680 Yeah, I don't know why I said that. Being here, I don't know why. 697 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,040 It's something that I put on myself, not generally to other people. 698 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,440 It's about myself. 699 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,600 But then this experience has really... 700 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,920 I've felt like I've made friends with that in myself. 701 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,640 I think that's what I've learnt, 702 00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:08,240 which is a whole roundabout way of saying, um... 703 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 I shouldn't be shameful, I suppose. 704 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,920 So I guess that's my story over, right? 705 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,960 My own journey of self-acceptance done and dusted 706 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,040 thanks to the amazing queer people I've met 707 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,880 and the wet and wild world of Dinah Shore. 708 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,520 Well, not quite. 709 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,320 The thing is LGBTQ+ festivals 710 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,440 are kind of a closed world, a cosy safe refuge. 711 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,000 It's time to stop hiding 712 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,520 and do what I said at the start that I've never done. 713 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,920 It's time to go out there and be visible in a city I love. 714 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:54,080 Yes, at last, I'm gonna go to fricking Pride! 715 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,520 I want that outfit. You look amazing. 716 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,200 Look at those models' faces. 717 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,720 The fame. 718 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,440 Do you mind if I interview you? 719 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,160 I'd love to interview you as well. 720 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:12,880 - I can do that. - Okay, good. 721 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,880 I've never been to Pride before, so this is my first Pride. 722 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,800 I've been out for a while, but yeah. 723 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,480 - Happy Pride. - Happy Pride! 724 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,920 Tell me a bit about your experience as drag queens. 725 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,320 How old you were when... ? 726 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,640 - But we're still only 15. - Yeah, exactly. 727 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,200 - Me too. - I'm 12. 728 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,680 - I'm 12. - No, you aren't. 729 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,160 When did you come out? 730 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:35,600 26, 27. Don't ask me how old I am. 731 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,720 I wouldn't ask a lady that. Yeah, I know. 732 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:44,280 - The last ten years, changing a lot. - It's changing a lot. 733 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,400 But now marriage, family, kids. It's wonderful. 734 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:49,800 Yeah. It's possible. 735 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,600 It's always that one month of Pride or Pride Week or Pride, 736 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,520 but I think we need to be proud every day. 737 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,640 - But thank you so much. - And thanks for spreading the word. 738 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,120 It's a really big deal. 739 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,240 It's a duty, I feel. I haven't done it until now. 740 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,320 - Happy Pride! - Happy Pride! 741 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,160 It's emotional for me a little bit, 742 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:11,040 'cause I think when you're queer 743 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,280 and you spend so much time being quiet and being silenced, 744 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,080 Pride allows a space for people to come and feel safe. 745 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,040 The rainbow's a perfect example of showing their true colours, 746 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,800 showing who they really are, being able to be loud. 747 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,240 Oh, my God! 748 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,960 Pride has now been running for more than 50 years. 749 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,240 Since the first one in New York in 1970, 750 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,880 there are dozens of Pride events around the world every year. 751 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,880 Here, the weather might be gloomy, but there are rainbows galore, 752 00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,920 and I've just seen a familiar face. 753 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,640 - Hello, again! - Hi! Oh, my gosh! 754 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:06,360 - Sorry. How are you? - Hi. 755 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,320 This is amazing, yeah. 756 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,840 Yesterday I saw two men holding hands 757 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,280 for the first time in my life, and... 758 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,520 Anybody who sees them will be like, "Oh, this is... " 759 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,800 - This is normal. Not weird. - Yeah. 760 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,480 What Pride has taught me is, in so many places in the world, 761 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,920 you can find LGBTQ+ community. 762 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,160 Many of us have been on similar journeys. 763 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,360 Some individuals can make a difference. 764 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,520 I've met them, and they've inspired me 765 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,200 to say goodbye to that shame once and for all. 766 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,720 I feel so much more comfortable, and I feel very proud. 767 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,920 I mean, not just because it was Pride. 768 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,360 It's not like it's changed me. 769 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,400 It's not like I've discovered new elements of myself. 770 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,040 It's just me being able to be myself in these situations. 771 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,920 It's just been a real revelation. 772 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,280 I just want to keep being in this Planet Sex mode. 773 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,760 Meeting people from around the world, 774 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,720 connecting, listening to people's stories, 775 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,600 trying to imagine their situation, trying to understand, 776 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,280 and through that, understand more about myself, 777 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,600 and hopefully ignite or inspire others 778 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,440 to have similar conversations. 779 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,360 I've just never done anything so personal. 780 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,240 It makes me realise what's important 781 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,320 and how much more active I want to be 782 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,920 in terms of trying to make some sort of small difference. 783 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,520 Any difference is still better than nothing. 784 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,760 Okay. No, I'm sad. Is it over? 785 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,840 It's never over. Pride's never over. Here's to coming out. 786 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,040 It's a really beautiful experience, and I'm so thankful for it. 787 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,520 Don't, I'll get fucking emotional. I hate emotions. 788 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,360 What do you want? Just say can't. 789 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:53,960 Yes. 790 00:45:06,321 --> 00:45:11,321 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 64074

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