Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
2
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,200
My name is Cara. Do I
have to say my whole name?
3
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,960
No. Be ridiculous.
4
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,760
Model, check. Activist/actor, check.
5
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,080
Privileged western white
woman, check, check, check.
6
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,200
That's a lot of labels.
7
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,120
But sexual identity...
well, like loads of us,
8
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,080
I'm still working all that out.
9
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:42,480
I date men, but, oh, do I love
women and everyone in between.
10
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,360
I was born female, but
often feel like a guy.
11
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,560
- Wow.
- Wow.
12
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,720
My sex life, my gender...
13
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,800
I'm just living off this queer energy.
14
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,800
... my relationships.
15
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,200
A pussy sandwich.
16
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,240
All a bit of a hot mess.
17
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,680
This is the first time I've
spoken like this ever in my life.
18
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,880
So sexy queer-tastic
people of the world...
19
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,080
- My vagina.
- That's your vagina!
20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,400
... I'm coming to get ya.
21
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,040
- And I want answers.
- Very quickly.
22
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,720
Like, how many sexual
identities are there?
23
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:19,840
Yay!
24
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,360
Is monogamy dead?
25
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,560
He's definitely not
faithful. Look at that guy.
26
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,760
What makes us hot... or not?
27
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,160
Stunning!
28
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,200
And how can we pleasure seekers
get our hands on more orgasms?
29
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,600
Start masturbating now.
30
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,840
The most important thing about life
is connections with other humans.
31
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,640
Is that not the point of being alive?
32
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,760
A land of clits.
33
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,360
We don't talk enough about
how we can help each other.
34
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,960
Most people won't have ever
had these conversations.
35
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,560
So let's talk about it.
36
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,920
Oh, hello!
37
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,320
Yes, just casually judging
a queer twerking competition.
38
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,400
In the absolute effing
hottest place on Earth
39
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,560
and having a jolly good
time, thank you very much.
40
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,960
Nice crowd. Loving
the crowd's vibe today!
41
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,120
Why am I here?
42
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,840
Well, there's so much to
know about the world of sex,
43
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,440
but I want to start
with sexual orientation.
44
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,120
We love lesbians!
45
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,400
Where does it come from?
Is it fixed or fluid?
46
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,040
I want to meet people who
live openly and authentically,
47
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,040
to unlearn the shame I've
struggled with for years
48
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,920
and accept my identity.
49
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,920
Hold on, it's going to be
a bumpy queer ride folks.
50
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,400
We're just gonna talk about being gay.
51
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,560
Go gay. Queers here.
52
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,680
- Cara Dele-queer.
- Yes.
53
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,080
Serious.
54
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,440
How would I define my sexual identity?
55
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,760
I'm a Q for sure, I don't know.
56
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,520
I always have kind of believed
in the no labels thing,
57
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,560
but have spent a lot
of time then saying,
58
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,480
"I'm bisexual. I'm pansexual."
59
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,800
I am queer.
60
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,200
I'm a hundred percent can
tell you that I'm queer.
61
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,560
I just don't know what else
I can say other than that.
62
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,160
What do you think you'll discover
63
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,120
in this amazing journey we
are on about your sexualities?
64
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,680
Even though I've been queer,
65
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,080
I haven't really been
able to live a queer life.
66
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,720
You know, the internalised
shame or the kind of homophobia
67
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,240
is slightly there still.
68
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,480
When you are in this job
or when you are famous,
69
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,640
or something, it stunts a lot of things,
70
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,320
and, like, I didn't really
develop my queerness.
71
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,360
So I think I'm just
coming to it all very late.
72
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,720
Does that make sense? Cool.
73
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,480
I don't know where I expected
this journey to begin,
74
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,400
but it wasn't slap bang in
the middle of the desert.
75
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,560
What do I know about Palm Springs?
76
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,640
It's hot. It's a desert.
77
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,800
This is a place where
old people go to die.
78
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,160
Joking. That's a joke.
79
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,680
It's hot. It's so hot.
Why do people come here?
80
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,120
It's so hot!
81
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,360
Well, apparently, if you're
LGBTQ+, this is the place for us.
82
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,040
Once a desert hangout for
the 1960's Hollywood Rat Pack,
83
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,800
Palm Springs is now one of
the queerest towns in America
84
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,680
and was the first to have
an all LGBTQ+ council.
85
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,920
So it's a good place to
dip my toe in the water,
86
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,960
at the mother of all queer women events.
87
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,760
- I'm checking in, please.
- Yeah, of course.
88
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:12,280
Delevingne. D-E-L-E... V-I-N-G-N-E.
89
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,000
It's hard to spell.
90
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,360
Yes, it's true.
91
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,120
I've still never been to
Pride or anything like that,
92
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,640
so this will be my very
first proper queer day out.
93
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,120
Sheesh.
94
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,440
So, do you come here often?
95
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,080
So scared. Scared.
96
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,880
- Where are you going?
- Where am I going?
97
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,240
- Am I meant to go this way?
- I'm a Cancer.
98
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,040
- I like long walks on the beach.
- So do I.
99
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,160
Okay, deep breath.
100
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,160
You guys are, like, the
least subtle posse ever.
101
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,560
Like this is not it. Yeah.
102
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,520
I don't really know what to expect.
103
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,920
Go round. A board.
104
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000
But how intense could it be?
105
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,520
Are we gonna go in, though?
106
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,840
This is the Dinah Shore Weekend,
107
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,120
the biggest lesbian
pool party in the world.
108
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,240
15,000 women, trans and non-binary folk
109
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,720
out here in the desert.
110
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,880
You're coming in and you just see
111
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,760
an ocean of women and titties
and glitter and pasties.
112
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,640
A lot of dancing, a lot of twerking,
113
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,600
a lot of making out,
a lot of happy times.
114
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,560
Different body types. Different
ethnicities. I love it.
115
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,440
It's like Disneyland for lesbians.
116
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,040
It's clear I won't survive
unless I find friends ASAP.
117
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,400
Luckily, I got me some neighbours,
Kimber and Lilly, to hold my hand.
118
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,240
- All right, Dinah on three.
- One, two, three! Dinah!
119
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,280
Oh, my God.
120
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,240
That was the gayest
thing I've ever done.
121
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,120
Really? I don't believe you.
122
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,640
- Let's go!
- Welcome to Dinah Shore.
123
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,040
Soak it in.
124
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,760
And then a twerking contest.
125
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,920
Yeah!
126
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,080
Nice crowd. Loving
the crowd's vibe today!
127
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,880
Look, the whole thing
was face-meltingly loud,
128
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,760
so you'll have to read the next bit.
129
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,240
- This makes me emotional so much.
- Why?
130
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,520
I have never been to anything like this.
131
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,600
Just here's, like, hot
and amazing and fun.
132
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,040
And, like, just like...
133
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,280
There's nothing hotter than
people living their best life.
134
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,760
But being here with this gorgeous,
135
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,000
colourful smorgasbord of queer people
136
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,200
has been intense.
137
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,880
What just happened? What didn't happen?
138
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,160
I don't know, I think...
I guess... I.. I don't know.
139
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,040
I'm out and I'm proud, you
know, to a certain extent.
140
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,800
But in my own life, I didn't
really find a community.
141
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,760
I didn't really speak, like,
experience these sort of things.
142
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,840
I did it in the public eye, which
again allowed myself to be...
143
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,280
pointed fingers at,
144
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,760
or feel more of the hate
than I guess the love.
145
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,000
So it's a lot. It's
just a beautiful place.
146
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,880
Obviously, when you look at the footage,
147
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,520
it's arses and everyone dancing
and having the best time,
148
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,520
but for me it feels
so much more than that,
149
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,720
'cause it's just so much
love and that, you know.
150
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,680
Oh, God, this is the journey.
151
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,880
This is the discovery
of... I don't know, yeah.
152
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,720
Like, I feel... This is...
Like, I'm feeling things.
153
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,080
I don't usually do that.
154
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,920
I didn't realise until
now how reassuring it is
155
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,360
to be with people who share
the same feelings as me.
156
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,720
I've been living in my own world,
157
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,360
when there's this whole big
LGBTQ+ wonderland out there.
158
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,760
In today's queer kaleidoscope,
159
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,720
there are a lot of
ways to define yourself.
160
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,880
Bears have a flag. I love that.
161
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,720
And dozens of different
types of sexual orientation.
162
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,760
So chic, darling.
163
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,200
Don't know the difference
between your As and bis and pans?
164
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,720
Don't worry, I'll call a doctor.
165
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:55,080
Dr Ronx is an ER medic,
queer activist and educator.
166
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,840
They'll help me straighten it all out.
167
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,280
Well, not straight-straighten.
Look, you know what I mean.
168
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,920
I love your trainers, babe.
169
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,320
Just to be clear, gender
is how you feel inside.
170
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,680
Sexual orientation, that's
who you fancy... or not.
171
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,240
Okay, let's go!
172
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,480
"Lesbian."
173
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,200
A lesbian is a woman who is
attracted to another woman.
174
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,760
- "Gay."
- A term men use
175
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,240
to say that they are
attracted to other men.
176
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,200
It's also an umbrella term
177
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,920
for anybody that is not heterosexual.
178
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,200
- "Bisexual."
- Bisexual people
179
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,760
- fancy men and women.
- "Pansexual."
180
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:38,120
People who are attracted
to other people,
181
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,240
regardless of their gender identity.
182
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:48,160
- "Asexual."
- People who are not sexually attracted
183
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,840
- to other individuals.
- "Queer."
184
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,480
Everybody under the LGBTQI umbrella,
185
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,200
but not everybody identifies as queer.
186
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,240
We've evolved and so has our flag,
187
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,640
from a simple rainbow to
a cornucopia of colours.
188
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,720
Now called the Progress Flag.
189
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,800
It symbolises where as a
society we aim to progress to,
190
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,800
encompassing the whole spectrum
of sexual and gender identities.
191
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,600
I love that there's so
many more types of sexuality
192
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,000
being recognised than ever before,
193
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,920
and more openly queer
people on the planet.
194
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,880
36% of Gen Z say they feel some
level of same sex attraction,
195
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,520
twice as many as their
grandparents' generation.
196
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,760
What's driving this big queer leap?
197
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,840
I think it's because so many more of us
198
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,760
are unlearning the shame and
standing up to be counted.
199
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,520
Here's what I love about Tokyo.
200
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,280
A busy modern city and yet
bang in the middle of it,
201
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,480
ancient traditional scenes like this.
202
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,120
And this the ceremony hall.
203
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,920
Kodo Nishimura is the master
of this Buddhist temple.
204
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,400
- It's like a wedding ceremony.
- I know, look.
205
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,080
I feel like we could be married.
206
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,720
We have shared beliefs.
207
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,800
He grew up right here in this temple.
208
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,120
But even as a child, Kodo felt
different from the other kids.
209
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,360
I noticed that I shouldn't talk
about my interest in boys publicly,
210
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,840
and I felt like a perverted person.
211
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,240
I was constantly feeling
212
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,840
like there was a huge
black cloud above my head.
213
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,880
Back then, gay people couldn't
live as openly in Japan.
214
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,240
Kodo needed to find a place
that accepted who he was.
215
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,360
Moving to the US was
such a liberation for me.
216
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,840
I was learning about the
history of LGBTQ community,
217
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:04,680
how people in the past
have vote for our rights.
218
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:09,040
So if I can bring that to
Japan, I felt that would be cool.
219
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:17,280
Kodo returned to Tokyo in
2013 to champion gay rights,
220
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,280
and discovered to his surprise
the old family business of Buddhism
221
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,240
had been ready to
welcome him in all along.
222
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,880
What I later found out,
Buddhism is very embracing.
223
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,720
It says the mercy of Buddha
is just like the moonlight.
224
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,280
Anybody who looks up to the
moon can appreciate the beauty.
225
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,920
We can prioritise our uniquenesses
and shine in our own colour.
226
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,640
- Here you go.
- Oh, my gosh!
227
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,960
- Wonderful style of shirts.
- Do you want to open these too?
228
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,160
Oh, my gosh, she loves the jewellery!
229
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,920
I think the courage to speak up
230
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,280
is actually cooler than
pretending to be perfect.
231
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,720
- Yes, I completely agree with you.
- So... Yeah.
232
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,280
- So...
- High five to that.
233
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,000
So, now I'm gonna transform and...
234
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,560
Transform away. I will leave you.
I will love you and leave you.
235
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,160
Okay, cool.
236
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,920
Today Kodo is a
celebrity in his homeland
237
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,040
and not just as a Buddhist monk,
238
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,240
but something totally extra.
239
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,360
For his powers of glam
as a makeup artist.
240
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,760
I can approach people's
hearts with Buddhist teachings,
241
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,160
and I can also approach their
outer attributes using makeup.
242
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,040
They both help people to
gain confidence or balance.
243
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,880
Yes, gorgina.
244
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,040
- Oh, my God, you look amazing.
- Thank you.
245
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,400
One foot in fashion and one
foot in ancient tradition.
246
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,520
And, for Kodo, it works.
247
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,560
What would you like for the
future and for the future of Japan?
248
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,960
If I can inspire leaders of the world,
249
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:02,360
also religious leaders, to
lift laws against LGBTQ people,
250
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,440
that would be wonderful, because
we have to be safe to be us.
251
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,280
And we're not going anywhere.
252
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,520
Society grows naturally like a tree.
253
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,360
So if you just keep watering,
it's gonna grow, and I have hope
254
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,120
that all communities can learn diversity
255
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,760
and celebrate its beauty.
256
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:27,280
What an incredibly strong
but also wise person he is.
257
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,440
No matter how much the traditional side
258
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,720
has probably stopped him from
wanting to be the certain way,
259
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,560
his heart and his light shone through.
260
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,040
And I really... I've just
learnt a lot from him.
261
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,600
It made me very emotional.
It made me just so proud.
262
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,640
Being happy in yourself within yourself
263
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,320
gives you the resources to
be able to help other people,
264
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000
and that's what is most
important in the world.
265
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,160
There are just little
glimpses into people
266
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,360
who are really brilliant
and radical and rebels,
267
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,800
and it's a beautiful thing.
268
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,640
Radicals and rebels made
same sex relationships legal
269
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,640
in my home country 50 years ago.
270
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,560
But growing up, the messaging
from the people around me
271
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,480
could still be heard loud and clear.
272
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,680
I couldn't talk to anyone
about it, and I definitely had
273
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,480
a lot of, like, internalised
homophobia and shame.
274
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:21,840
I thought that I was, like, abnormal
and I... that I wasn't right.
275
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,720
Everyone else was right and I was wrong,
276
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,280
'cause I wasn't like everyone else.
277
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,360
I thought about ending my life.
Like, I had, like, multiple times.
278
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,280
And, like, I'm so glad I didn't
279
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,320
because if I can help any other
kid, that means the world to me,
280
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,200
that means the world
to that little queer kid
281
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,200
that I was or am.
282
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,280
The thing is, I've always wondered
283
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,120
why I feel so much
shame about my sexuality.
284
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,840
Because, honestly, people,
this stuff is not new.
285
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,320
Since humans have walked the
Earth, there have been queer folk.
286
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,160
From famous gays like Ancient
Greek Alexander the Great
287
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,920
to Aztec god of
homosexuality, Xōchipilli.
288
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,680
Through plenty of British
kings, who are apparently queens.
289
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:11,040
Two Williams, two Richards,
an Edward, a James,
290
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,760
and, of course, Queen Anne.
291
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,640
Same sex attraction has been around
292
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,040
for a long time and in a lot of places.
293
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,920
So what shapes our sexual orientation?
294
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,880
Is it nature or is it nurture?
295
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,800
Is it something that happened to me
growing up, or was I born this way?
296
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,720
Well, there are plenty
of ideas flying around,
297
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,600
but one person who studies
this area is Dr Gerulf Rieger.
298
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,680
He believes answers lie in our biology.
299
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,400
Think about it like this. The
majority of us are straight.
300
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,560
We need our sexual orientation
301
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,120
to create babies and continue
to thrive as a species.
302
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,800
So the idea that the social environment
303
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,640
has such profound influences
on something so important to us
304
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,160
just doesn't make any sense.
305
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,160
Everything from overbearing
mothers, boarding schools,
306
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,360
being in the Navy and
having older sisters
307
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,880
has been blamed for turning people gay.
308
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,550
But if society really makes you gay,
309
00:18:10,551 --> 00:18:13,160
wouldn't there be a load more of us?
310
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,680
Gerulf thinks our sexual
orientation is set much earlier,
311
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,800
before we're even born, in fact.
312
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,160
- Hello. How's everybody doing today?
- Good, thank you.
313
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,560
Let's get one thing straight.
314
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,400
There's no one factor that makes us gay,
315
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,720
just a big biological cocktail of bits
316
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,400
that shape whether you swing this
way, that way, or another way.
317
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,040
First up, there are
numerous genes involved.
318
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:47,400
Recently we've had complex
work done on the human genome
319
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,120
that suggests that
there are several genes
320
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,080
that could influence a
homosexual orientation.
321
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,480
There's not just one.
322
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,000
Hormones matter too.
323
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,480
Our number one educated guess is,
324
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,680
it's the level of testosterone
that we're exposed to or react to
325
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,360
as an unborn child.
326
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,040
Let's say a baby girl that was exposed
327
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:13,320
to unusually high levels of testosterone
328
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,360
is more likely to become homosexual.
329
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,960
Okay, and do you want to
know the baby's gender?
330
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,720
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
331
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,240
- Well, it's definitely a girl.
- Perfect.
332
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,680
Then it gets even weirder.
333
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,280
Another theory is
mothers produce antibodies
334
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,280
in response to male babies.
335
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,720
Maybe we should call them "mantibodies."
336
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,840
When the mother is pregnant
for the first time with a son,
337
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,760
she actually gets exposed
to male typical proteins,
338
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,200
which is something that
her own body isn't used to.
339
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,560
These antibodies stay
in the mother's system.
340
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,680
Then they can affect the
development of the second son
341
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,480
and could therefore disrupt
342
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,040
the regular development
of his sexual orientation.
343
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,080
This suggests the greater number
of older brothers you have,
344
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,040
the more likely you are to be gay,
345
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,240
only by a few percent,
346
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,480
but it's still a vital clue
in this big queer puzzle.
347
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,520
So what does this all add up to?
348
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,520
Well, with so many factors
involved in our sexual orientation,
349
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,920
it's no wonder there's so much diversity
350
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,800
and so many shades of gay.
351
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,440
When it comes to the
question of how innate
352
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,360
is somebody's sexual orientation,
353
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,920
my educated guess is
probably a hundred percent.
354
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,760
It's something that really
comes from within the person.
355
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:37,600
What exactly are the ingredients,
that's the million dollar question.
356
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,000
You're born this way. I'm born this way.
357
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,080
So you can pack that judginess
away, thank you very much.
358
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,800
It's not a choice, which
is a relief, to be honest.
359
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,920
And it's nothing me, other queer folk
360
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,720
or our parents did wrong.
361
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,560
All right, okay, but next question.
362
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,080
Is our sexuality fixed from birth,
363
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,040
or is it something that evolves
and changes throughout life?
364
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,080
I still am of the belief
365
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,400
that sexuality is definitely a spectrum,
366
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,880
and I feel like mine wavers.
367
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,760
But also I'm probably definitely
more on the side of women.
368
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,840
But I like having sex with
men. I just don't date them.
369
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,840
I might, though. You never know.
370
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,160
But, again, I think it's a beautiful
371
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:30,000
unwavering wavering beautiful boo.
372
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,600
But if biologically speaking
there are so many shades of gay,
373
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,800
how do I know for sure which one I am?
374
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,840
And what about my
fluctuating sexual fluidity?
375
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,480
Is it my mind choosing
who I want to have sex with
376
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,040
or who my body reacts to?
377
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,680
Sexologist Dr Marieke Dewitte
378
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,680
is an expert on what turns us on. Meow.
379
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,920
- Are you Flemish? I'm Flemish.
- I'm Flemish.
380
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,200
- Fellow Flem.
- Yeah.
381
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,000
So I signed up to her sex
lab to watch a lot of porn,
382
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,040
all in the name of science.
383
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,400
Who wouldn't be excited by
watching a whole lot of porn today?
384
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,640
Come in and welcome to our sex lab.
385
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,160
As you can see, we try to create
kind of a living room effect,
386
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,960
a little bit more cosy.
387
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,560
So, we are going to
present several video clips.
388
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,360
You know what I thought about?
My parents watching this.
389
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,640
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that before.
390
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,200
Try to ignore it. The main thing
391
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,680
is actually what you need
to do, is just sit, relax
392
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,120
and try not to touch
yourself and sit still.
393
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,480
Try not to? I can contain myself.
394
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,480
Try not to touch yourself and
just watch the screen, yeah?
395
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,800
- Okay, perfect.
- Have fun, Cara.
396
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,640
- I will. I will try. Fuck.
- Yeah, definitely.
397
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,640
I'm sorry, this is
what? And it goes where?
398
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,560
When you get sexually aroused,
399
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,280
more blood is being
pumped into your vagina,
400
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,040
and, therefore, the colour
of your vagina wall changes.
401
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,680
And this device
402
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,840
measures the amount of
blood in your vagina cavity.
403
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,800
- Can I ask a question?
- Sure.
404
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,840
Can you read my mind through my vagina?
405
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,880
- No.
- It's going in now.
406
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,960
Right. Jesus!
407
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,760
- Can you guys see that it's in?
- I can see your signal.
408
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,000
Oh, my God! My signal?
What the fuck is happening?
409
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,920
I can see your vagina pulse, yes.
410
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
Great. I love that for us.
411
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,720
Okay, try not to think about my parents
412
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,120
or about the camera
12 inches from my face.
413
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,920
My frankly ridiculous task is
to watch different kinds of porn,
414
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:45,120
while Marieke's vag monitor
records how aroused I am down below,
415
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,520
and I yank a lever
416
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,160
to rate how turned on I
feel up above in my mind.
417
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:55,240
Okay, fire it up. First,
two guys shagging each other.
418
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:59,040
Like, I can feel my breath
shortening or whatever crap.
419
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,200
We can see there's something happening.
420
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,960
Then lesbian sex.
421
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,880
Yeah, okay.
422
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,720
My body feels that
shivering feeling again.
423
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,640
Great. Weird. This is strange.
424
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,760
Just had a real big influx of horniness
425
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,960
and then a real big influx of shame.
426
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,680
How bad is that still? Why?
427
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,280
Straight sex.
428
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,080
He's not very good at this.
429
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,880
There's men masturbating.
430
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,200
I'm less horny than I thought I was.
431
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,600
Oh, Lord.
432
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,200
Women masturbating.
433
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,120
That just seems uncomfortable.
So fake nails, bro.
434
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,080
You're gonna say something
different, aren't you, vagina?
435
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,800
Then a surprise little bonus
clip of some hairy monkey sex.
436
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,920
Okay, this is properly weird now.
437
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,560
Oh, my God, what's it doing?
438
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,680
It's called oral sex.
439
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,280
This is wild. Literally.
440
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,040
An hour later, thank
God, that's it, I'm done.
441
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,360
I don't even know how to feel anymore.
442
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,080
- So there she is. How was it?
- Do I look traumatised?
443
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,880
Not at all. Did you
find it traumatising?
444
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,400
No. Maybe.
445
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:13,120
But what the F does this all mean
when it comes to sexual orientation?
446
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,680
What did you see?
447
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,360
We could clearly see that your body
448
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,080
automatically reacted
to a sexual stimulus.
449
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,200
So the moment there
was something sexual,
450
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,760
you had this automatic
genital arousal response,
451
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,000
because your body, your brain,
recognises this as sexual,
452
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,240
you've learned this is
sexual, so you react.
453
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,600
So it sounds like my genitals
454
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,000
find everything, human and animal, sexy.
455
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,680
But is this to be expected?
456
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,680
Your response actually matched
457
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,120
with what we saw in previous research,
458
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,080
that the genital
arousal response of women
459
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,520
is rather non specific.
460
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,720
It kind of shows that for women
it's sexual activity that matters.
461
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,160
It says nothing about your
sexual orientation or identity.
462
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,960
'Cause matters of the genitals
are not matters of the heart.
463
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,120
So sometimes women who don't
identify as being lesbian,
464
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,680
they get turned on by the women,
465
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,680
and it's like, "Oh,
my God, is this... ?"
466
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,120
They get confused.
467
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,400
But it's just this diversity of...
468
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,920
Yeah, women get aroused
by different stimuli.
469
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,880
Phew, so this isn't some
secret lust for monkeys.
470
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,080
It's a primal bodily
response to sexual stuff,
471
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,040
one shared by females.
472
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:20,240
But what was my mind
saying about all of this?
473
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,840
Your reactive sexual
arousal clearly differed
474
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,360
depending on the type of
porn you were watching.
475
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,160
And what we saw in your pattern,
476
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,400
it seems that, especially
the lesbian porn in specific,
477
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,760
really turned you on in
terms of reactive arousal.
478
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,640
Does it match your sexual orientation?
479
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,800
- For sure.
- Do you feel attracted to women?
480
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:44,040
So generally I think women are
my preferred gender, I suppose.
481
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,640
How you feel, the mental component,
482
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,680
we see that in women,
it's more specific,
483
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,440
that what really turns you on
484
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,600
is kind of a little bit more
tied to what you also prefer.
485
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,120
My mind is much more in sync
with my own sexual orientation.
486
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,040
For males, though,
it's a different story.
487
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,080
Their bodies react only to the
stuff that turns on their minds.
488
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,583
Men actually only respond to stimuli
489
00:27:09,584 --> 00:27:11,160
that match their sexual orientation,
490
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,480
but in women there's much more fluidity
491
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,080
and erotic plasticity, as we call it.
492
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,440
Women's sexuality can
change throughout life,
493
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,400
and they're much more diverse.
494
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,080
So both our bodies and minds
495
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,520
feed into this thing we
call sexual orientation.
496
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,800
And women are more fluid
and varied than men.
497
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,760
But, crucially, none of it is a choice.
498
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720
I think it's also asking
yourself, or thinking,
499
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,840
"However you're feeling is not natural."
500
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,000
But it is natural
because it's happening.
501
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,320
That's always what I would think,
growing up with a lot of shame,
502
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,080
is thinking, "This isn't
normal. this isn't human."
503
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,600
- But it's, like, it is.
- Yeah. I mean...
504
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,600
Yeah, that's the sticky bit, the shame.
505
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,040
The pressure from society and
the world around me growing up
506
00:27:56,120 --> 00:28:00,400
doesn't have the slightest impact
on our innate sexual orientation,
507
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,880
but it sure does affect how you
feel about your sexual identity.
508
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:06,720
I wrestled with that today.
509
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,800
It did bring up little silly
feelings of self-identifying
510
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,440
and, like, guilt or shame,
and that kind of stuff.
511
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,200
And it kind of also made me
silence myself in that way
512
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,400
because I'm, like, so bored
of that kind of self-projection
513
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,520
and, like, self... battery.
514
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,960
The more I tried to deny the fact
that I was in any way homosexual,
515
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,480
the more I hated myself.
516
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,240
What you also try to deny
517
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,120
then kind of rears its head even more.
518
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,600
The thing is, you could
say my sexuality is natural.
519
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,240
I can say, "I'm born
this way. Accept it."
520
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,800
But the truth is I can still
feel the stigma and the shame.
521
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,360
And I know there are
many people out there
522
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,920
who have grown up in far more
difficult circumstances than me.
523
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,720
I want to meet people who have lived
524
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,320
through societal shame and
rejection, and fought back
525
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,760
so I can understand how
to be more self-accepting.
526
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,640
Sound check.
527
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,000
My name is The Darvish,
528
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,240
and I am a Syrian performance artist,
529
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,560
an event organiser,
530
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,680
community changer and an
LGBTQIA+ rights advocate.
531
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,760
And I consider myself a force of nature.
532
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,440
- Hello.
- Hello, my love.
533
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,800
- My man, indeed.
- Hi, my love. Oh, my goodness.
534
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,240
- How are you, my man?
- Pleasure meeting you.
535
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,200
We're now entering the club.
536
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,920
We need to create some magic.
537
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,800
The Darvish is from Syria,
538
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,040
where same sex relationships
are still illegal.
539
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,000
- Whoo, honey.
- Honey.
540
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,680
We need a little bit of
techno, and that's it basically.
541
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,080
It's literally all you need.
542
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:04,880
I realised when I'm queer
probably in the age of 14.
543
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,320
Up and straight and you
drop it. One and two.
544
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:13,480
And then the journey started
of me immediately realising
545
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,840
that this is a taboo in the
country that I am in right now,
546
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:22,080
and that it is dangerous
for me to, you know, own it.
547
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,800
So, yeah, started living, um...
548
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,040
more carefully and
cautiously, but gracefully.
549
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:35,200
And, yella, yeah. Use the hands, okay.
550
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,760
She's getting it. Okay.
551
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:42,040
When ISIS overtook parts of Syria,
The Darvish had to make a choice.
552
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,360
The war got really serious.
553
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,160
Persecutions and executions
and stuff like that.
554
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,880
That's where it really hit us
we cannot be visible at all.
555
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,760
The decision over me leaving
Syria, that was the hardest thing.
556
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,320
Choosing my life.
557
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,360
And...
558
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,720
Yeah.
559
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,720
One second.
560
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,480
I focused on imagining
how my life would be.
561
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,560
You don't have to live a double life.
562
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,640
You don't have to pretend
anymore. You don't have to act.
563
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,120
You can be you. Free.
564
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,640
The Darvish has now been
safe in Berlin for six years.
565
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,440
Your mum, she understood,
though, you leaving, or not?
566
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,880
Well, she didn't want to.
She didn't want to understand.
567
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,720
It was very hard for
her, for me to leave,
568
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,960
but I think I made my point very clear
569
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:49,320
that if I stay, there is
no future for me, you know?
570
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,200
- It got too dark.
- Yeah.
571
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,800
Right? I don't like it.
572
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,000
Oh, no. I thought you meant life.
573
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,760
I said, "Yes."
574
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,280
I disagree, honey.
575
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,800
I actually have a
little something for you.
576
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,840
This is for you. This
is a little dervish.
577
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,160
- Yeah, whirling dervish!
- Yes.
578
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:21,000
So, this is to say that you
mean a lot to the community
579
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,040
and we really appreciate you,
580
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,800
and thank you so much
for being with us tonight.
581
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,920
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
582
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,480
I am a whirling dervish.
583
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,360
- Perfect, I'm happy you like it.
- Oh, that's so cute!
584
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,760
Tonight The Darvish will be performing
585
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,840
with their collective called
Queens Against Borders,
586
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,800
working for the Trans and
Queer Refugee Community.
587
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,560
Hello!
588
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,720
Okay. Thank you so much everyone
589
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,840
for being here with
us at this fundraiser.
590
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,560
We're very glad that you're here.
591
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,760
Welcome to the stage, Dornika
and her bad bitch Tram.
592
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,120
Yes.
593
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,480
Whoo!
594
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,600
I think finding and building a
community anywhere in the world,
595
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,280
whatever community
it is, is super vital.
596
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,520
The community that I have built
597
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,680
brought to me everything
that I could ever imagine,
598
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,920
which is me being me.
599
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,480
Yeah!
600
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,640
Please, put your hands together
601
00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:15,080
for the gorgeous, the
stunning, the beautiful,
602
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,280
the one and only, The Darvish!
603
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:30,120
I never really had any
interest of politics,
604
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,680
but being the person I am is a
political statement by itself.
605
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,920
I am a walking... politician, let's say.
606
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:55,680
I choose my dance and my
passion and my performances
607
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,160
to say something.
608
00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:00,520
I am trying my best to
have the visibility here
609
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,680
in order later to mobilise
it there, in Syria.
610
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,920
I'm beginning to understand
what I've been missing
611
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,400
by not being more
active like The Darvish.
612
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,120
They've unlearned the shame and
surrounded themselves with love.
613
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,280
It's given me so much to think about.
614
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,800
I don't really go to gay
bars. I don't really know...
615
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,800
I mean, I'm a shit gay person.
616
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,440
Also because I think that
comes from a deep line
617
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,680
of like not really wanting
to be gay that much.
618
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,800
But like I do, it's just with
every story there's been...
619
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,040
It's been plagued with some sort
of, some element of heartbreak,
620
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,880
but then some massive
amount of joy, you know.
621
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,720
And that's the magic of queer people.
622
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:51,040
I mean, it's an amazing gift
and a curse in so many ways.
623
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,000
It's a double edged sword.
624
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,280
But that's what I always
leave feeling, is joy,
625
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,800
which is... that's the
rainbow, that's the community.
626
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,080
Today, across the world,
627
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,960
there are trailblazing countries
where marginalised LGBTQ+ folk
628
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,080
can find that community and that joy.
629
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,160
And South Africa is a known
haven for queer refugees.
630
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,360
One of the first countries to
legalise same sex marriages,
631
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,400
and the only one in Africa.
632
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,280
There are LGBTQ+ church groups...
633
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,720
To find an LGBT ministry
within South Africa,
634
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,960
it just makes everything better.
635
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,960
... and queer festivals...
636
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:39,480
I actually love it because I
can be whoever that I feel like.
637
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:46,680
Well, I'm a homosexual, very gay,
over the top, extremely flamboyant.
638
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,560
Spaces like this are
definitely important
639
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,280
because I don't know, I
just feel so much more need.
640
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,880
We wanna get married
and just settle down
641
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,840
and just live a beautiful life.
642
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,560
And have furry babies, 'cause
I don't want actual ones.
643
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,960
I mean, come on, why wouldn't you want
644
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,320
to be a part of this
big old queer family
645
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,200
when it looks like so much fun?
646
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,600
Yet, it's no wonder so
many of us LGBTQ+ folks
647
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,000
still feel shamed,
648
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,880
given that even in
so-called liberal countries,
649
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,800
there are laws being
tabled against queer people.
650
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,040
Don't say "gay," right?
651
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,280
Which is why we need
events like Dinah Shore,
652
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,120
not just to party, but as a refuge.
653
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,120
I'm back with my new
friends, Kimber and Lilly.
654
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,920
I wish I could go back to
myself, back when I was younger,
655
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,920
and just kind of
figuring out my sexuality,
656
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,760
and I wish I could show
myself what my life is today.
657
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,120
I grew up in Tennessee,
658
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,680
in a very conservative
family, very religious,
659
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,360
and being gay was just, like,
absolutely not acceptable.
660
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,960
Here I am all these years later,
661
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,680
and I have an unbelievable
queer community around me.
662
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,440
It's just so important
to not feel alone,
663
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,880
and I feel like a lot of
queer people feel alone.
664
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,760
And you're not gonna feel alone here.
665
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,920
Where we live, there's
not very many places...
666
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,800
- It's better now.
- They're starting to accept it,
667
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,440
but you still get a little
bit of a look here and there.
668
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,600
Like, do you walk down
the street holding hands?
669
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,720
Probably not.
670
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,160
It's amazing for me,
671
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,840
especially, like, I didn't
come out until later in life.
672
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,840
- So...
- I'm an old lesbian.
673
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,120
So, yeah, for me, like, it's, um...
674
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,880
It just feels like very
less, I don't know, stressful.
675
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,040
Like, I don't feel like
I need to hold back.
676
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,120
I'm just... I'm pretty
much me everywhere,
677
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,080
but here it's just a little extra.
678
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,480
- Like, just total.
- It's emotional.
679
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:52,840
Yeah.
680
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,280
Yeah.
681
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,120
She's having a good time.
That's all that matters. Sorry.
682
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,800
It's incredible to be
free just for a few hours.
683
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,000
It feels like a weight has been lifted.
684
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,400
- Hey, Cara!
- Yes?
685
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,200
Welcome to Palm Springs!
686
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,600
Thank you!
687
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,640
Yeah!
688
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,200
We love lesbians!
689
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,000
I now have gay friends.
690
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,960
- What have you learnt?
- So, wait, I'm confused.
691
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,040
Okay, pass me back that. I need it.
692
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,680
Okay, so what have I
learnt about myself?
693
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,080
I love being queer.
694
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,600
You know, this, like,
internalised homophobia
695
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,040
or this repressed, you
know, whatever, um...
696
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,680
Yeah, I don't know why I said
that. Being here, I don't know why.
697
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,040
It's something that I put on myself,
not generally to other people.
698
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,440
It's about myself.
699
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,600
But then this experience has really...
700
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,920
I've felt like I've made
friends with that in myself.
701
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,640
I think that's what I've learnt,
702
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:08,240
which is a whole roundabout
way of saying, um...
703
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000
I shouldn't be shameful, I suppose.
704
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,920
So I guess that's my story over, right?
705
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,960
My own journey of
self-acceptance done and dusted
706
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,040
thanks to the amazing
queer people I've met
707
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,880
and the wet and wild
world of Dinah Shore.
708
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,520
Well, not quite.
709
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,320
The thing is LGBTQ+ festivals
710
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,440
are kind of a closed
world, a cosy safe refuge.
711
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,000
It's time to stop hiding
712
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,520
and do what I said at the
start that I've never done.
713
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,920
It's time to go out there and
be visible in a city I love.
714
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:54,080
Yes, at last, I'm gonna
go to fricking Pride!
715
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,520
I want that outfit. You look amazing.
716
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,200
Look at those models' faces.
717
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,720
The fame.
718
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,440
Do you mind if I interview you?
719
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,160
I'd love to interview you as well.
720
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:12,880
- I can do that.
- Okay, good.
721
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,880
I've never been to Pride before,
so this is my first Pride.
722
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,800
I've been out for a while, but yeah.
723
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,480
- Happy Pride.
- Happy Pride!
724
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,920
Tell me a bit about your
experience as drag queens.
725
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,320
How old you were when... ?
726
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,640
- But we're still only 15.
- Yeah, exactly.
727
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,200
- Me too.
- I'm 12.
728
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,680
- I'm 12.
- No, you aren't.
729
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,160
When did you come out?
730
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:35,600
26, 27. Don't ask me how old I am.
731
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,720
I wouldn't ask a lady
that. Yeah, I know.
732
00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:44,280
- The last ten years, changing a lot.
- It's changing a lot.
733
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,400
But now marriage, family,
kids. It's wonderful.
734
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:49,800
Yeah. It's possible.
735
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,600
It's always that one month of
Pride or Pride Week or Pride,
736
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,520
but I think we need
to be proud every day.
737
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,640
- But thank you so much.
- And thanks for spreading the word.
738
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,120
It's a really big deal.
739
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,240
It's a duty, I feel. I
haven't done it until now.
740
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,320
- Happy Pride!
- Happy Pride!
741
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,160
It's emotional for me a little bit,
742
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:11,040
'cause I think when you're queer
743
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,280
and you spend so much time
being quiet and being silenced,
744
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,080
Pride allows a space for
people to come and feel safe.
745
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,040
The rainbow's a perfect example
of showing their true colours,
746
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,800
showing who they really
are, being able to be loud.
747
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,240
Oh, my God!
748
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,960
Pride has now been running
for more than 50 years.
749
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,240
Since the first one in New York in 1970,
750
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,880
there are dozens of Pride events
around the world every year.
751
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,880
Here, the weather might be gloomy,
but there are rainbows galore,
752
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,920
and I've just seen a familiar face.
753
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,640
- Hello, again!
- Hi! Oh, my gosh!
754
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:06,360
- Sorry. How are you?
- Hi.
755
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,320
This is amazing, yeah.
756
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,840
Yesterday I saw two men holding hands
757
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,280
for the first time in my life, and...
758
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,520
Anybody who sees them will
be like, "Oh, this is... "
759
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,800
- This is normal. Not weird.
- Yeah.
760
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,480
What Pride has taught me is,
in so many places in the world,
761
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,920
you can find LGBTQ+ community.
762
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,160
Many of us have been
on similar journeys.
763
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,360
Some individuals can make a difference.
764
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,520
I've met them, and they've inspired me
765
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,200
to say goodbye to that
shame once and for all.
766
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,720
I feel so much more comfortable,
and I feel very proud.
767
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,920
I mean, not just because it was Pride.
768
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,360
It's not like it's changed me.
769
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,400
It's not like I've discovered
new elements of myself.
770
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,040
It's just me being able to
be myself in these situations.
771
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,920
It's just been a real revelation.
772
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,280
I just want to keep being
in this Planet Sex mode.
773
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,760
Meeting people from around the world,
774
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,720
connecting, listening
to people's stories,
775
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,600
trying to imagine their
situation, trying to understand,
776
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,280
and through that,
understand more about myself,
777
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,600
and hopefully ignite or inspire others
778
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,440
to have similar conversations.
779
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,360
I've just never done
anything so personal.
780
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,240
It makes me realise what's important
781
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,320
and how much more active I want to be
782
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,920
in terms of trying to make
some sort of small difference.
783
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,520
Any difference is still
better than nothing.
784
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,760
Okay. No, I'm sad. Is it over?
785
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,840
It's never over. Pride's never
over. Here's to coming out.
786
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,040
It's a really beautiful experience,
and I'm so thankful for it.
787
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,520
Don't, I'll get fucking
emotional. I hate emotions.
788
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,360
What do you want? Just say can't.
789
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:53,960
Yes.
790
00:45:06,321 --> 00:45:11,321
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
64074
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.