Original subtitles

MOSFILM

Second Artistic Association

OPERATION "Y" & OTHER SHURIK'S ADVENTURES

Children up to 16 years old are admitted

Alexander DEMYANENKO as Shurik

Written by Ya. KOSTYUKOVSKY, M. SLOBODSKOY, L. GAIDAI

Directed by Leonid GAIDAI

Director of Photography Konstantin BROVIN

Production Designer A. BERGER

Music by A. ZATSEPIN Conductor - V. VASSILYEV

PARTNER

Bully - A. SMIRNOV, Foreman - M. PUGOVKIN, Policeman - V. BASOV

With: E. GELLER, R. ZELYONAYA, V.URALSKY, G.AKHUNDOV, S.AGEYEVA

Bus stop ''Knitted Wear Factory''

Seats for passengers with children and invalids

- Please, be seated, dear. - No, thank you. You sit.

Mister, let her sit. Stand up!

If I stand up, you'll lie down.

Mister, these seats are reserved for children and invalids.

Is she a child or an invalid?

- She's an expecting mother. - And I'm an expecting father.

What nonsense are you talking?

Here comes an invalid.

An invalid! What do you say now?

- Excuse me... - Well, if that's the law!

Please, be seated.

Thank you very much.

So you can see... Not for long now!

- Do you corroborate it? - Yes, we do.

So you're the victim...

- You work at a construction site? - Part time.

- What do you mean? - I'm a student.

Student!

Fifteen days of obligatory community work!

Dear alcoholics,

hooligans and parasites...

Where do you wish to work?

Today we have assignments for

a sand pit - two persons.

Read out the whole list, please.

Sand pit - two persons, street cleaning - three persons.

Meat-processing factory...

today... sent in no summons.

There's an assignment for construction of an apartment house, a cement plant...

Anything for a wine distillery?

Police

Foreman's office Construction site No. 61

Please...

Watch your step...

First of all, I want you to meet our wonderful collective of workers,

into which you'll be temporarily integrated.

- For how long will he be integrated? - For full fifteen days.

Half a month. Great! Goodbye. See you soon.

- Don't be late with my lunch. - Sure.

I'm sure that this half month

we'll spend in an atmosphere of friendship and mutual understanding.

Well...

It's cork... A present from Africa.

This way please.

Use your imagination and visualize a living complex to be erected here...

In it alone there will be installed 740 gas ranges,

exactly 740 times as many as our whole city had before 1913.

Please!

Well... Just a minute...

It's all right!

Isn't it romantic?

If we take the total of all floor work done by us in the 1st quarter,

and stack those floors one upon the other, we'll get a building

twice as tall as the world-renowned Eiffel Tower,

or thrice as tall as the famous Notre Dame de Paris...

which means, as translated from French, the Cathedral of Paris Mother of God.

- Whose mother? - Paris... Mother of God...

Please!

Our BAT has built the amount of living space

that equals all the living space of a city like Chita,

of ten cities like Khvalynsk, or thirty-two towns like Kryzhopol.

It makes you gasp when you think...

...than in America. Therefore, you too can contribute your small share

to the glorious labor deeds of our BAT.

''BAT'' is a building and assembling trust.

- What trust? - Assembling trust.

- I'm ready! - Thank you.

Well...

Shurik!

- Yes, Pavel Stepanovich! - Shurik, here's your work partner!

At last, Pavel Stepanovich! Thank you.

Now we shall work.

We'll work well together!

I can see you two will get on. Get up, Shurik.

I wish you many successes in your work and happiness in personal life!

Thank you for your attention.

Listen, have you had any accidents here?

- No. None so far. - You'll have them. Come on.

O Lord, be merciful... O Lord, be merciful...

- What is in there? - Quiet!

Where have you been? I'm looking for you everywhere.

- No work is being done! - No work done, but time is ticking.

Your work is counted in money, and mine in days.

Keep our streets clean!

Shurik, how is your partner?

- Being rehabilitated. - Fine.

- Why do you whisper? - He's sleeping.

Sleeping?!

As our spaceships plow the Universe...

Not surprising that all continents are applauding our Bolshoi Ballet...

...As folk wisdom teaches us, little strokes fell great oaks!

Work is done, time for fun! A cat in gloves catches no mice!

Don't do today what you can... No, that's not it...

Don't give a damn!

- And the compote? - The compote!

Your hands... have you washed them?

Oh, yes...

Well... now to the sand pit!

- Shall we begin?.. - Bon appetite!

- What? - He who doesn't work he eats well.

Learn from me, student!

Look here, student...

One should treat people gently now,

and have a broader view of things.

You think it's me who got fifteen days of work?

No, it's us who got fifteen days.

And for what purpose? For you to educate me...

and for me to develop my conscience...

Come on, spin your yarn

about spaceships plowing... the Bolshoi Theatre.

And I'll take a nap...

Right. Keep the flies away.

What are you doing?

- A fly. - Good for you.

Got stuck, four-eyes?

It was only an advance. That's it!

Get prepared, student, soon they will put a wooden mackintosh on you,

and music will be playing in your house, but you'll never hear it...

Give me some water!

Thank you.

Wait, I'm going to whack you, student!

This is hooliganism! You'll get fifteen days.

I'll file a complaint against you.

- Are you going to beat me? - No.

What, then?

To educate you.

- Are you a Komsomol member, Shurik? - Yes, I am.

This is not one of our methods. What about humanism? Brotherhood?

Can't you understand, Shurik, that as spaceships are plowing...

- What's your name? - Fedya... And you're Shurik.

- Are you married? - Yes.

I have a wife, Lyuba, and two kids, Lenochka and Alyoshka.

- So you've got a family? - Yes.

- And how old are you? - Forty one.

Listen, Shurik, don't do it!

I promise to be good.

No, Fedya, I'll do it. I have to.

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Dear alcoholics, parasites and hooligans...

- Who wants to work? - I do!

Wait.

Today we have assignments... For the sand pit - two persons...

- I do! - Wait, I said!

Will you read out the whole list, please?

- So, the cement plant... - I do!

- Coal loading... - I do!

- Stables cleaning... Besides... - I do!

Wait, mister!

For you we've got a special assignment. For the full fifteen days.

He's yours!

STRANGE IMPRESSION

N. SELEZNYOVA as Lida, V.RAUTBART as Professor, V.PAVLOV as Oak

With V. NOSIK, V. GEORGIYU, N.GITSEROT, Z.FYODOROVA, S.ZHIRNOV

Quiet! Examination is on!

Polytechnic Institute

- Have you passed? - Yes.

- What's your mark? - Five.

- Give me your summary or I'll flunk. - I gave it to those guys to read.

You may turn it over now.

Question No.7, part one:

The principle of synchrophasotron operation.

Kostya, do you read me?

Do you read me? Over.

Roger. I read you well.

The answer to Part one, Question 7.

The underlying principle...

of synchrophasotron operation is

the electrostatic acceleration of the particles by a magnetic field...

By a field... Now we go on...

Oak!

- Do you have a summary? - No, I don't. Don't bother me.

- What are you listening to? - Van Cliburn! Get lost!

Library

- Do you have it? - What?

Yes, I've asked you already.

- Be careful, please! - Don't get distracted!

Excuse me...

Next stop: Garden Street.

Come on, we're getting off.

Take it!

For whom?

Hi, aunt Zoya! Will you give me the key, please?

Don't you have an exam today?

Yes. I've got three hours before it. We're going to study with my friend.

Mustard...

It's so hot... Don't turn it over.

Ira, unzip it, please.

It's too hot. Strip!

It's time.

Quiet! The examination is on!

Well, have you passed?

Four!

What's the matter?

- Calm down! - I see.

Take a question.

Professor, may I take another one?

Go ahead.

- And still another? - Go on.

Now you!

- What do you mean, ''now you''? - Excuse me, Professor.

No, you excuse me. You'd better come some other time.

I've gone too far.

A beautiful woman's heart is given to treachery...

One, two, three... It's a test...

Kostya, do you read me? Three, two, one... Over!

- How do you do, Professor. - How do you do.

Are you all right?

I have an ear ache.

- Can you take an exam with this? - Yes, I can. Don't worry, Professor.

It will only help. No noise will distract me.

And why this? Do you celebrate something today?

To me... each examination...

is a celebration, Professor.

Very good.

Take a question, please.

Question No. 9... Over!

- What did you say? - What?

- Why ''over''? - I said I'm overjoyed...

At the question and its mathematical problem.

I see. Go get ready.

All right.

Oak, do you copy? Do you read me?

Did that fool suspect something?

Here's the answer to Part One, Question 9.

- What's the matter? - Something wrong with my ear.

All right then... I'll give you 5 for your ingenuity,

and for the subject I'll give you ''unsatisfactory''.

Of course, the professor is a fool, but he's got the equipment.

Do you copy? Do you read me?

- Here. - Thank you very much.

Shurik!

Kharkov

Have you passed?

- Who is that? - Where?

Over there... floating.

Oh, that's Lida, from the parallel group.

Lida...

An amazing girl...

Why have I never seen her before?

- Want me to introduce you? - No.

Oh, come on... Lida!

May I speak to you for a minute?

- What did you get? - Five!

- Congratulations! - Thanks.

Meet my friend here.

- Lida. - Petya... Oh no, Shurik.

Lida.

Please.

Well, I'll be going.

Now I'm home.

- Do you live here? - My windows are over there.

This is a very good neighborhood. I've never been here before.

- Don't be afraid. - It must be the new neighbors' dog.

- How shall I get home now? - It's easy. A diversionary maneuver.

- I'll distract the dog, and you go. - All right.

Doggy!

Jack!

Smokey... Blondie... Blackie!

Blackie! Doggy! Doggy! Doggy!

Go!

Don't lose hope.

- Do you have sausage by any chance? - I do. It's bologna.

Come on, give me some.

It was bologna, it will be mortadella.

- What's that? - Sleeping pills.

- Will they hurt him? - No, they're harmless.

Let's begin. Doggy!

No, it's for our doggy... Doggy!

In three minutes he will be in deep sleep.

Look.

Ah, you don't want to?

We'll see who wins here. Just a minute...

- How are you going to leave now? - We'll do it this way.

On my signal you open the door, but remember, after my signal.

Hold it.

Let's take our positions.

Open it!

That's it! But you'll have to walk up.

I'm used to it. Our elevator is often out of order. Thank you.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, Lida.

- It was nice meeting you. - For me, too. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Shurik! What's that?

- Where? - There.

- That dog! - Come with me. I'll mend it.

- No, I can't go like this... - Come on.

- No, no way. - Come on.

- You left our things unattended! - Rex is there. He'll keep watch.

- It's my throat... - Your throat?

- And your brainless head. - And my brainless head.

- Hello. - Hello. How was your exam?

- I've got 5. - Good girl!

- And your friend? - I don't know.

- Come on. - Goodbye.

Turn around. I'll sew it.

- No, I'd better do it myself. - As you wish.

Well, I'll leave you alone.

Lida! Everything's all right.

Coming.

Lida, you know what poem by Yaroslav Smelyakov I like best?

- Which one? - Listen.

A line of small, white-painted houses,

The fragrant acacias' smell.

And here, on South-West Road, Lives Lida, a wonderful gal.

She goes about unhurried, As would her reflection infer...

What? Have you forgotten it?

She goes about unhurried, As would her reflection infer.

- A wonderful gal who's called Lida... - And what's so good about her?

The answer you'll get from a young boy That lives in a house close by.

That name's on his lips when he rises, That name is his night lullaby.

Upon the concrete, solid pavement, Still bearing her steps so rare,

''A wonderful, dear girl, Lida'',

He wrote in an act of despair.

The boy's stubborn, amorous ardor May only move our hearts.

The same way might Pushkin been enamoured...

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

- Where was I? - About Pushkin.

Yes, Pushkin...

What marvels there! A mermaid sitting...

Excuse me, what mermaid?

Lying... high in a tree...

I think you have overworked.

May I...

No... I haven't overworked,

it's something else...

Lida, I'd like to ask you a serious question.

It's very important to me.

Go ahead, ask it.

Does it ever happen to you? You come somewhere for the first time,

but you feel as if you've already been here?

Everything looks familiar, objects, smells, sounds...

- Does it ever happen to you? - No, never.

I always remember where I've been, when and with whom.

And to me, I think, it happens.

Even now I have a strange impression I was here before.

- What do you mean, Shurik? - Yes, I've already seen all this.

Look... I'm going... to open... this curtain,

and behind it, there will be a crystal decanter.

I was here before!

Shurik! It means you're a psychic!

- Volf Messing! - You think so?

- Absolutely! Let's try it. - All right.

You leave the room,

and I will write down my wish, and then we'll check it.

When you come back, I'll order you, in my mind, to execute my wish.

- All right? - All right.

Find the teddy bear. Lida.

Come in!

Did I guess it right?

Almost.

Let's try it again, okay?

It's time.

- Till tomorrow. - No, the day after tomorrow.

- My exam is on the day after tomorrow. - Mine, too.

- Tomorrow I'll be studying. - Me, too.

So the day after tomorrow, after the examination?

Yes, the day after tomorrow, after the examination.

OPERATION ''Y''

Yu. NIKULIN as Booby, G. VITSIN as Coward, Ye. MORGUNOV as Experienced

V. VLADISLAVSKY as Depository Director M. KRAVCHUNOVSKAYA as Granny

Zarechensk Farmers' Market

You just moved in? Culture calls!

Hang smart rugs On freshly painted walls.

No modernism! No abstractionism!

Protect your walls from mildew, And yourself from rheumatism!

Hurry! Be smart! Buy fine art!

I recommend this classical subject, ''Mermaid''.

Based on the titular opera. Music by Dargomyzhsky, lyrics by Pushkin.

- Shameless! - Just a minute.

We have a neutral subject,

recommended for use even in children's institutions.

No, not this... Just a second... Excuse me...

Here, please.

Have it wrapped.

If you're a very good kid, You will have a lot of sweet!

How are you?

Wind up, quick!

We've got a job to do.

- Where's that disabled person? - Quiet! I'm the disabled person.

Depository Director S.D. Pastukhov

- What do we have here... - Not we, you...

- What'll save us from the inspection? - Not us, you...

Only a robbery can save us from the inspection!

- With breaking and entering? - Of course, with breaking!

Article 89, paragraph 2:

up to six years. No, no way...

But there will be no robbery!

Everything has been already stolen.

Everything has been already stolen.

It's nothing doing.

You'll just have to simulate a robbery.

You break the lock, enter the depository,

leave traces of the goods being stolen and go away without taking a thing.

Now you got it?

Don't get so excited, comrade director.

People want to understand what it's all about.

- It's only natural. - And legal.

This is something new for us, an unfamiliar ground.

Right, unfamiliar.

Don' get excited.

Tell us, please, this action...

or... to put it better... operation...

''Y''.

Operation ''Y''.

Why ''Y''?

Why ''Y''?

So that no one could guess.

Idiot!

All right, get down to business.

You'll have to neutralize the guard...

- Not we, you. - No, this time it's you!

- Really? - Really.

What do you mean, ''neutralize''?

Article 193, paragraph 2.

- Up to three years. No way! - No, no way!

There will be no need for...

The guard is gently put to sleep with chloroform and tied up,

without being inflicted any bodily harm.

- Legally, the whole operation... - ''Y''!

- ...is just minor hooliganism. - Minor?

Mind you, for this minor hooliganism I'm paying you a lot of money.

Yes, I'll give you an advance!

Is the guard strong?

On the night of the operation, the guard will be an old granny.

That's great! Isn't it?

- Is she armed? - With blank cartridges.

Any questions?

- How much money? - Three hundred.

- It's not serious. - No.

- No way. - We've never even met you.

- We're no fools. - I'll make more on my ''mermaids''.

- Let's go. - Enough to make a cat laugh.

- Three hundred, it's nothing. - Wait!

How much do you want?

- Three hundred and thirty. - A deal.

To each!

It's a deal.

Good luck!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

What are you doing?

We've been rehearsing a whole hour.

I've let you ruin my own shed...

...with no result!

You!

You were supposed to approach the old woman, as if you were a passerby,

and attract her attention in a simple, natural way.

- And what did you ask her? - Which way is the library?

At 3 p.m.

Idiot!

And you?

Stand on the lookout and, when the old woman whistles,

show up as a vigilante before the police arrives.

- Did she whistle? - No.

So why did you barge in?

- Dolt! - I agree.

And you?

You were supposed not to steal the bottles, but break them.

- Break them? - Yes, break them.

- Half a liter! - Half a liter.

- To pieces? - Of course, to pieces.

- You know what I'll do for this?.. - No, no, no...

Take your places, let's do it again.

Damn it!

Lulla-lulla-lullaby,

Lullaby, my dear girl...

Birds are sleeping, fishes sleep,

- Little kids are sleepy, too... - Maria Ivanovna!

Hush! You'll wake up Lena.

You see...

Lulla-lulla-lullaby, tell me, tell me what is up?

I have brought my rent to you, for the month of January.

Thank you, thank you very much. You can put it on the shelf.

She's fallen asleep.

- Lucky that you're here. - What happened?

Right out of the blue, the director wants me to go on guard tonight.

Olga is working a night shift, too. She didn't have time to change it.

Don't worry. I'll baby-sit for you.

Thank you.

And as ill luck would have it...

And as ill luck would have it, I've put bliny batter to rise.

I will both baby-sit and will look after the batter.

- Don't worry, go in peace... - All right, I'll be on my way.

Chloroform

The train, wait a bit. Stop your rumbling, the wheels.

Conductor, use the brakes, I'm begging you.

My dear old mama

Is waiting to see me,

For our one final rendezvous.

Excuse me, what time is it?

- Are you crazy or what? - Hard to train, easy to work.

- Go and train yourself... on him. - All right.

Don't wait for me, dear mama, The son you admire.

The son you used to have I'm no more.

I've been swallowed up By a dangerous quagmire,

And my life is a gamble therefore.

Can you tell me how many degrees below now?

What?

- What is it with you? - I'm training.

You'd better train...

- ...on cats. - All right.

The train, wait a bit, stop your rumbling, the wheels.

We still have the time to change what's due.

It's not yet too late...

to get off the train, huh?

Conductor, use the brakes, I'm begging you.

Enough of merrymaking.

Well... it's time.

Let's get to work!

I can't cope with it. It's some nightmare!

Maria Ivanovna! You'd better get back home!

Oh, what am I going to do?

Go, and I'll guard it for you.

All right, I'll be back soon. Here, take it.

- I'll be right back... - Don't worry.

Everything will be all right.

If anything, just whistle. Like that.

Here.

I'd better be going.

Granny! You got a match?

What?

- Where's the granny? - I'm substituting for her.

- You? - Yes.

Are you all right?

Who is there?

- Who are you? - I'm the guard.

- Where's the granny? - I'm substituting for her.

- Where's the exit? - Over there... Hands up!

- Who gave a whistle? - I did.

- Where's the granny? I'm a vigilante. - And I'm the guard. Let's tie him up.

This one?

Ah, my friend...

Damn you...

...You plunderer of Socialist property!

Run and call the police. I'll keep watch over him.

- If anything, give a whistle. - All right.

- Where's the telephone? - On the corner, two blocks away.

- Get up! Get up! - Where am I?

Let's get to the car quick, get up!

Comrade vigilante!

- Have you called them already? - No. Do you have a coin?

Dial 02 for police, no coin needed.

Get up!

Wake up!

- Excuse me, which way the restroom? - No time for that!

Thank you.

Out of order

Move it! The police will be here any minute.

Hands up!

Snuff

The End