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*
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00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:09,210
CHRIS ROCK:
After a couple of weeks
at Tattaglia without Greg,
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,811
I tried hanging out
with a few different crowds
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,447
to make myself feel better.
5
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,283
I tried hanging out
with the losers.
6
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,618
So, what do you want to
study
7
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,621
Dude, why are you
always studying?
8
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,624
Yeah, you act like we're
graduating tomorrow.
9
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,659
Don't be such
a downer.
10
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,398
I even tried hanging out
with the break-dance crews.
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00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:34,502
*
12
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,505
I only had a connection
with one person in the school,
13
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,673
and it was the wrong type
of connection.
14
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,110
What's up, Theo?
15
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,112
There was only one time
during the day
16
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,379
that I didn't miss Greg.
17
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:46,414
Home Ec.
18
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,582
It smelled like biscuits,
19
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,284
and it looked
like Victoria's Secret.
20
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,286
Greg wasn't there,
21
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,588
but if there's one way
to replace one good friend,
22
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,657
it's with a bunch
of strange women.
23
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,693
Hey, that's how strip
clubs were born.
24
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:03,764
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
25
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,768
andVOLKSWAGEN.
26
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:12,573
When you get into a Volkswagen,
it gets into you.
27
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,609
* Aw, make it funky now.
28
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,130
For a lot of guys, Home Ec
would have been a bad choice.
29
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,765
But for me,
it was a perfect fit.
30
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,734
Everything I did in class
I already did at home.
31
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,370
These are good, Chris.
32
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,405
Thanks. Maybe I could taste
your cookies sometime.
33
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,706
What'd you say?
34
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:46,707
Nothing.
35
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,709
You know, I mean,
36
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,744
like if you were
to bake some here.
37
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:51,912
In class.
38
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,647
Hmm. Don't be funny.
39
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:54,948
Okay.
40
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:58,619
Because I was a guy and a good
cook, I got a lot of attention.
41
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,388
Bye, Chris.
Bye, Chris.
42
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,522
The only girl in class
43
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,758
who wouldn't give me the time
of day was Maria.
44
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,895
Don't be mad at me
because you can't make toast.
45
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,731
Back on my block, somebody was
catching heat besides me.
46
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,334
A ticket?! How you gonna give me
a ticket?
47
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,403
You're parked by a hydrant.
48
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,438
Do you see a fire?
Do you smell smoke?
49
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,739
Do you see a dog
trying to pee?
50
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,308
You know what?
You need to give
51
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,509
yourself a ticket.
52
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,876
You're the one
that's double-parked.
53
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,578
You give me that pad!
54
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:25,713
Got you now!
55
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,281
Now who's violent?
56
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,616
Ah! How you like me now?
57
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,850
Oh, oh. What,
what, what?
58
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,319
Now, you got your ticket.
59
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,553
What, you want
some of this?
60
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,687
Would you look
at that?
61
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,956
Now, she should be
ashamed of herself.
62
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,958
Didn't you have a fight
with that meter maid?
63
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,727
That was different.
64
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,694
No, it wasn't.
65
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,396
Do you see a fire?
66
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:43,564
Do you smell smoke?
67
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,299
Do you see a dog
trying to pee?
68
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,468
What you need to do is
give yourself a ticket.
69
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,702
You're the one
that's double-parked!
70
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,437
Give me that!
71
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,272
Give me that!
How's it feel now?
72
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,274
I give the tickets!
73
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,811
Mom, what are
you doing?
74
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,413
That's your mother?
75
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,816
Y'all get in the house.
Y'all go get in the house. Now!
76
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,819
Mom, why are you
always doing this?
77
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,522
Tasha, please, stop talking
to me like I'm your daughter.
78
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:09,623
Hi!
79
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:10,791
I'm Peaches!
80
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,526
Hi. I'm Rochelle.
81
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,262
This is Chris' mom.
82
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,729
:
Rochelle?
83
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,700
Oh, I heard so
much about you.
84
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,969
Oh, my God. I've been meaning
to go upstairs and say hi.
85
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,505
But, woo, things have been
so crazy since I got out.
86
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,839
Got out?
Mm-hmm.
87
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,007
Of what?
88
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:27,975
Jail.
89
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,977
Jail?
Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,680
Ooh, girl,
can you believe it?
91
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,849
I go out with this guy, he gon'
knock over a liquor store.
92
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:36,950
I'm in the car,
93
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,520
and he hop in with
a bag of money
94
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,689
waving his gun talking about
"Drive, drive, drive!"
95
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,624
Next thing I know
96
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,393
I'm doing four to six years
97
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,660
for aiding and
abetting.
98
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,696
All right, well, I will
talk to you later.
99
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,833
Ooh! Girl, that
is a nice purse!
100
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,768
Oh, it's all leather.
Mm-hmm.
101
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,771
See, I knew I would like you.
I love people with good taste.
102
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:58,739
You're just like me.
103
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,474
Minus the tackiness
and the rap sheet.
104
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:01,809
Come on, Mom.
105
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,944
She'll talk your ear off all day
if you let her.
106
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,313
Oh, Tasha, please.
107
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,418
While my mom was reeling,
108
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,520
Drew and Tonya had Mr. Omar
on the hook.
109
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,621
Okay,
110
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,523
now, let's cut to the chase.
111
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,724
This is Herman.
112
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,725
All right,
now, this
113
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,759
is the food.
114
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,561
Now you put in two shakes.
115
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,563
Not one, not three, two.
116
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,064
Every day, after school.
117
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,900
And if Herman survives,
I'll pay you ten dollars.
118
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,636
What if Herman dies?
119
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,737
Then I keep my money
120
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,605
and buy me another fish.
121
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:34,007
Oh! The Color Purple!
Can we watch it?
122
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,142
I love Danny Glover.
123
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,478
Mister was the best movie
villain since Darth Vader.
124
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,513
No. Leave my movies alone.
125
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,682
Don't touch anything,
don't eat anything.
126
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,384
Don't sit, search or stare.
127
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:46,387
Just feed Herman and leave.
128
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,455
Got it?
129
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,623
Yes.
130
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,959
While Mr. Omar's fish
were about to get fed,
131
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,495
things in Home Ec
were about to get cooking.
132
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,497
Okay, for our second group
of partners,
133
00:04:56,530 --> 00:05:01,369
we have Sadie and Lola, Tiffany
and Amber, Chris and...
134
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,372
Chris and Maria, Chris
and Maria, Chris and Maria...
135
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,373
...and Angel.
136
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,741
I hadn't noticed Angel before,
137
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,443
but if she looked
like her name,
138
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,079
as Greg would say,
I was about to be in there.
139
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,481
Where's Angel?
140
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,982
Right over there.
141
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,823
Hi. I'm Chris.
142
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,958
:
Hi. I'm Angel.
143
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,661
Ahn
More like, "What the hell?"
144
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,363
Ahn
What's up with the outfit?
145
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,398
And the makeup?
146
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:31,932
I'm androgynous, silly.
147
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:35,135
Around 1986, a new trend emerged
called androgyny.
148
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,870
Inspired by the looks
of personalities
149
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,707
such as Boy George,
Prince, Grace Jones
150
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,609
and Attorney General Janet Reno,
151
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,444
gender benders,
as they were also called,
152
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,978
stretched the perceptions
of what it meant
153
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,647
to be male or female.
154
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,549
Ahn
What type of name is that?
155
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,983
It's Boriqua, baby.
156
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,085
Look, I know what you're doing.
157
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,754
I wish I could say the same.
158
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,988
You do?
Yes.
159
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,057
I know you boys like
to come into Home Ec
160
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,993
trying to do more
than bake cookies.
161
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,396
You and me,
we could be friends.
162
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,764
I could use you.
163
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,899
I don't think I like
where this is headed.
164
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,435
What are you talking about?
165
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,871
Me, I understand fashion,
hair and Madonna,
166
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,173
but I'm terrible in the kitchen.
167
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,141
So?
168
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,009
I saw you looking at Maria.
169
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,010
All I'm saying
170
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,413
is that, if
you help me,
171
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,581
I can help you.
172
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,850
And how is that?
173
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,117
Chelsea?
174
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,086
What, Angel?
175
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,855
This boy just broke up
with his girlfriend.
176
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,956
Oh.
177
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,024
He's depressing me
with sad talk.
178
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,927
Would you kiss him
on the cheek?
179
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,996
He needs
a reason to live.
180
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,567
How's that?
181
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,001
Yeah. It was good.
182
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,438
So do we have a deal?
183
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,439
What?
184
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,707
Do we have a deal?
185
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,141
Oh. Uh... Yeah.
186
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,944
Ow!
187
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,447
I broke his androgyny bone!
188
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,820
While Maria
couldn't make a corn flake,
189
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,555
I helped Angel make a cake.
190
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,657
Angel, your cake
191
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:04,925
is amazing.
192
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,060
I couldn't have
done it without Chris.
193
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,896
If you want an "A"
on your next project,
194
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,898
that is your boy.
195
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,566
Really?
196
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,935
(Aerosmith's
"Dude Looks Like a Lady" plays)
197
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,504
Chris?
198
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:17,505
Yes?
199
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,239
Maria.
Yes.
200
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,842
I was wondering...
Yes?
201
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,977
...if maybe you can
help me make a cake?
202
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:24,878
Yes.
203
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,980
She may not know
how to work an oven,
204
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,782
but she knows how to work me.
205
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,518
Charming, he cooks...
206
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,852
I don't know, Maria.
207
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,588
Sounds like a catch to me.
208
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,257
We'll see about that
after we make the cake.
209
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,927
See you, Chris.
210
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,962
Yes.
211
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,132
Me and Angel made a deal
to work together in class,
212
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,934
but being seen together
in the hallway
213
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,103
was a whole other thing.
214
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,972
Yeah. I have to go ask
Mrs. Williams something.
215
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,641
Yeah. I'll
catch you later.
216
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:58,579
* That, that dude
looks like a lady... *
217
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,814
Back at Mr. Omar's,
218
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:04,117
Tonya was worried
about being seen, too.
219
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,986
What are you doing?
220
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,254
I was watching
The Color Purple.
221
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,056
Mr. Omar said not
to touch his stuff.
222
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,991
I wasn't touching.
I was watching.
223
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,661
Fine. If anything gets
messed up, it's on you.
224
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,062
Nothing's going
to get messed up,
225
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,296
so shut up.
226
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,931
Come on.
227
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,172
Hey, Rochelle!
228
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,240
Hey!
229
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,543
Translation:
"Who told you where I work?"
230
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:30,844
Who told you where I work?
231
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:31,645
Who's this?
232
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,013
I'm Peaches.
233
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:33,981
That's, uh,
Tasha's mother.
234
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,315
She just moved
in next door.
235
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,217
Girl, you look
just like your daughter.
236
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,151
With a rap sheet.
237
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,587
I'm Vanessa.
238
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,821
Vanessa
239
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,990
Oh, this is your shop!
Oh, this is nice!
240
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,625
Oh! Rochelle, I should
have known you worked
241
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,159
at a nice place like this.
Just don't rob it.
242
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,160
Just don't rob it.
243
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,562
Rob it?
244
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,297
She is just joking!
245
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,965
I just got
out of jail.
Jail?
246
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:52,966
Mm-hmm.
247
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,034
Which one?
Taconic.
248
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,202
Oh. Medium security.
249
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,237
What were you doing? Aiding
and abetting or something?
250
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,306
Yeah, girl, you know
how that is.
You do?
251
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,975
It almost happened to me once.
I was just sitting in a car...
252
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,177
Supposed to be on a date?
Guy hops in
with a bag of money...
253
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,880
Talk about, "Drive!"?
Drive? I hopped out
and ran.
254
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,081
That's what
you should have done.
255
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,016
That's what I should
have done.
256
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,317
Okay, Peaches.
All right, girl.
257
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,319
Well, I will
see you later...
Ooh! Oh! Oh!
258
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,187
Oh, speaking of later!
Oh, girl, I need a touch-up.
259
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,255
Tasha's staying with
some friends tonight.
260
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,858
I'm going out with this guy,
and I need to look good.
261
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,993
Then you better not
show him your tattoos.
262
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,061
Don't show him your tattoos.
263
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,796
You got tattoos?
I was in jail.
264
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:23,864
I'll squeeze
you in.
265
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,032
Sit down.
Oh, girl,
266
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,067
thank you!
267
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,737
I was cool with Angel,
but not with androgyny,
268
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,605
so I asked my dad for help.
269
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:32,973
Hey, Dad?
270
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,043
Hey. You did a good job
with dinner tonight.
271
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,211
Thanks.
272
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,113
Can I ask you
a question?
273
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,250
I'm not giving up
my sweet potato pie recipe.
274
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,318
You're just going
to have to kill me first.
275
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,287
Oh. Oh, no.
276
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,660
See, there's this guy
in my Home Ec class.
277
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,194
You having a problem?
278
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,063
No, not at all.
279
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,199
He's just a little flamboyant.
280
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,768
Flamboyant?
281
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,170
Yeah. He looks kind
of like Boy George.
282
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,673
Oh, you mean
androgynous?
283
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,974
Yeah.
284
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,409
We have to partner
on this project, and he's cool.
285
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,078
I just don't want
people thinking
286
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,213
that me and him hang out
like that.
287
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,949
I knew this androgynous
guy when I was coming up.
288
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,718
You did?
Yeah.
289
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,120
He was one of the
baddest dudes I ever met.
290
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,755
Pink Bobby Jenkins.
291
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,257
He was androgynous way
before it was popular.
292
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,226
Everybody used to
make fun of him.
293
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,061
Pink Bobby?
294
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,429
So, did you guys hang out?
295
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,664
Nope.
296
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,133
I didn't want people to
think I was androgynous.
297
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,435
Then one day, I was
coming home from school,
298
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,904
and these guys jumped me.
299
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,172
Oh, they
had me, too.
300
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:42,242
Then, next thing I know,
here comes Pink Bobby.
301
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:46,246
Man, Pink Bobby was
knocking suckers out.
302
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,915
I asked him
why'd he help me,
303
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,349
even though I
wouldn't talk to him.
304
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,185
But he said he didn't care
that I didn't talk to him.
305
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,254
It was because I
didn't talk about him.
306
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,857
After that, we
were always cool.
307
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,292
And people didn't think
you were androgynous?
308
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,195
Look, Chris, unless
you show up in a dress,
309
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,197
heels and makeup,
310
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,266
nobody's gonna think
you're androgynous.
311
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,002
Thanks, Dad.
312
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,942
Surprise!
Surprise!
313
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,443
Malvo?
314
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:17,911
You two know each other?
315
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,179
Yeah, baby, we
old friends.
316
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,114
This is the guy you were
talking about?
Yeah.
317
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,816
But I didn't know you two knew
each other.
318
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,317
Why didn't you
say something?
Baby, 'cause you
319
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,019
wouldn't quit talking.
320
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,021
He is so stupid.
Ain't he stupid?
321
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,823
Is that a trick question?
322
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,091
Rochelle, you
are crazy.
323
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:31,959
Oh, I could say
324
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,294
the same thing about you.
325
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,297
Oh, baby.
326
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,166
Oh, come on,
let's go sit down.
327
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,333
Yeah.
328
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,902
This is crazy.
Ain't this crazy?
329
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,737
This is crazy, baby.
Whoo!
330
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,973
There haven't been this many
ex-cons in one place
331
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,776
since Naomi Campbell
had lunch with Amy Winehouse.
332
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:49,943
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
333
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,311
Whoo!
334
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,780
Thanks for
dinner, y'all.
Yeah.
335
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,982
I'm glad y'all showed
up when y'all did,
336
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,817
because we were done
eating an hour ago.
337
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,251
MALVO:
See, that's why
y'all are good people.
338
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,253
You know, if it had have
been me, I would have been,
339
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,922
like, "I hope they ain't
hungry." You know?
340
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,991
Well, how did you two meet?
341
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,026
We both got
the same parole officer.
342
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,227
We were taking our drug tests,
343
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,461
and he was coming out
the bathroom.
344
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,197
And she was coming
down the hall and...
345
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,432
BOTH:
We was both holding
cups of pee.
346
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,167
Oh, baby!
347
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,903
Sounds like a love story
for R. Kelly.
348
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:16,904
That sounds nice.
349
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:17,938
See, I wanted you to meet him
350
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,272
to get your opinion,
but you already know him,
351
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,541
so that's good
enough for me.
Hey, y'all
352
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,311
got any Jell-O or something
like that for dessert?
353
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,881
I'll see what I can find.
354
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,350
Rochelle, you want
to give me a hand?
Okay, baby.
355
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,518
MALVO:
Cool.
356
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,287
PEACHES:
Malvo?
Hmm?
357
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,455
PEACHES:
You like Jell
358
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,824
MALVO:
Baby, I love Jell-O.
359
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,891
PEACHES:
I love Jell-O, too!
360
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:38,959
Does it say...
361
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,128
: Does it say
"Rikers Island" on our door?
362
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,363
No.
Then why are there
two convicts in my house?
363
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,432
She just showed up. What
was I supposed to do?
364
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,000
Tell her to just get out.
365
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,401
I don't want
to be rude.
366
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,337
Look, she barged in,
she ate our food,
367
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,538
and she brought a guest.
368
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,406
She's rude.
She's Tasha's
mother, okay?
369
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,275
Now, for Chris
and Tasha's sake,
370
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,077
we have to be
neighborly.
371
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,445
Look, be neighborly
at her house.
372
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,213
I don't want her in here.
373
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,381
Come on, ya'll.
374
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:02,382
Where the Jell
375
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,384
Did you try Bill Cosby's house?
376
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,387
Back at school, I decided
to step out of my comfort zone
377
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,422
and into my discomfort zone.
378
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,191
You'll get
your Eurythmics tape back
379
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,559
when I give it back, bitch.
380
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,161
Hey, man.
381
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,428
Hey.
382
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,930
You want to go
get some lunch
383
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,098
and hang out
or something?
384
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,166
No.
385
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,300
Why not?
386
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,040
Chris, you're a nice guy.
387
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,876
I don't know how to say this.
388
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,978
I don't mind working
with you in class,
389
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,612
but being seen
with you out here--
390
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,114
it's a whole other thing.
391
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,516
I get picked on enough
for the way I dress.
392
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,319
Hanging out with you will
give people one more reason.
393
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,955
I just got the
"It's not you, it's me" speech
394
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,957
from a guy who wears pumps?
395
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,493
While I figure out my feelings,
let's take a break.
396
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,232
Without Greg around
to talk this out,
397
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,500
I decided to talk to myself.
398
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,069
Dude, who was that androgynous
guy you were just talking to?
399
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,370
Oh, that's Angel.
400
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,406
Do I need to
kick his ass?
401
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,473
Don't try it.
Androgynous guys
402
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,442
have a reputation
for being great fighters.
403
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,511
Nah, he's cool.
He's in my Home Ec class.
404
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,147
Home Ec?
Do I need to kick your ass?
405
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,350
You don't understand. He's tight
with every girl in the class.
406
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,351
They trade clothes.
407
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,352
He's gonna hook me up.
408
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,353
Yeah
409
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,455
Hey, Chris.
Yes?
410
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,324
You're gonna help me
with that cake, right?
411
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,059
Yes.
412
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,228
Good. Who's your friend?
413
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,896
How you doin', honey?
I'm Greg.
414
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,031
I like your coat.
415
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,233
The skullcap is another story.
416
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,500
Man, you're so in there.
417
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,602
Anyways, I gotta go
beat up some nerds.
418
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,104
Have fun at your bake-off.
419
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,472
If you don't find any nerds,
420
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,042
you could just punch yourself
in the face.
421
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,377
While I got a sleeveful, my
mother was getting an earful.
422
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,345
He's a Pisces.
I'm an Aquarius.
423
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,247
That's fish and water.
That go together, right?
424
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,115
Ooh, girl, that ain't...
425
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,151
Peaches, I would love
to talk to you right now,
426
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,286
but I gotta cook.
Ooh, I could
help you cook.
427
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,521
You makin' chicken, I could fry
it, corn, I could shuck it.
428
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,158
I can make a mean grilled cheese
with a iron if you're desperate.
429
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,159
No, that's okay.
430
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,460
And if you're really desperate,
431
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,929
wine out of toilet water
and a gun out of soap.
432
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,031
Okay, my grilled cheese
is fresh to die...
433
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,000
Peaches?
Huh?
Stop, okay?
434
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,302
I really appreciate the fact
that you like me,
435
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,471
but we have
to set some boundaries.
436
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,272
Like prison gates.
437
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,607
Oh, okay, okay.
Girl, say no more.
438
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,441
See, we just alike.
439
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,543
You need your space,
I need my space.
440
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,113
Right.
441
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,247
Okay!
Okay!
442
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,983
Well, call me. Okay?
Okay.
443
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,217
You gonna call me?
Sure.
444
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,952
No, I'm-a call you
when you done, okay?
445
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,154
No, no, I'll call you.
I'll call you. Yeah.
446
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,322
Okay, well, call me.
447
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,957
I'll call you. Okay. Bye.
448
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,226
Okay.
Okay.
449
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,130
Hmm. Okay.
450
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:35,068
Uh-huh, all right,
all right, all right.
451
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,403
Everything seems to be in order.
452
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,007
Herman is healthy.
Mission accomplished.
453
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,208
DREW:
Thank you.
454
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,210
You didn't touch
anything, did you?
455
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,211
No.
456
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,079
No.
All right.
457
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:50,317
This is the beginning
of a beautiful relationship.
458
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:01,028
Yo, y'all have
to try this cake.
459
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,762
My girl Maria
made it for me.
460
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,466
Maria
461
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,701
Well, she ain't my girl girl,
just this girl.
462
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,602
She diggin' on me.
463
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,072
I told her she need
to be able to cook
464
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,141
if she wants to get with me.
465
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,510
See, I don't like
girls that can't cook.
466
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:18,611
So you like her?
467
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,280
Well, I don't know about her,
468
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,115
but I like this cake.
469
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,550
You want a piece? Try it.
470
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,485
I was using cake
to get closer to Maria
471
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,388
and she was using cake
to get closer to Dickerson,
472
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,623
and it didn't work
for either one of us.
473
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,532
Oh! Rochelle!
You scared the...!
474
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,102
Peaches, what the hell
are you doing in my house?!
475
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:45,172
Girl, I lost my keys,
Tasha wasn't home,
476
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,473
so I just let myself in.
477
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,474
You let yourself in?
478
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,475
Mm-hmm.
479
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,477
There's three locks on the door.
480
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,145
Oh, yeah, those are no good.
481
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,213
You really need to upgrade.
482
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,381
I mean, having those locks
483
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,216
is like leaving
your door wide open.
484
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,750
No, it's not.
485
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,453
That was a closed door
with three locks on it.
486
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,789
Why didn't you break
into your own house?
487
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,457
That's what I'm saying.
It's the locks.
488
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,626
Mine are unpickable. You think
I'm gonna be standing out
489
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,495
on the street looking like I'm
breaking into somebody's house?
490
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,698
Peaches, what's
wrong with you?
491
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:15,335
Do you remember
the talk that we had
about boundaries?
492
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,204
I needed your advice,
and I have been
493
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,538
sitting here
all day waiting for you...
494
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,539
Peaches...
495
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,108
What?
496
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,775
How would you feel
if you came home
497
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,478
and I was in your house
with your man?
498
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,780
Why would I know
where your man is?
499
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,382
Oh, by the way, Vanessa called.
500
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,817
She said make sure
you call her back.
501
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,252
You answered my phone?!
502
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,487
What? You acting
like I stole something!
503
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,256
You are a criminal.
504
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,325
I was an accomplice!
505
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,527
That is not the same thing!
506
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,662
They locked you up
in the same jail.
507
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,365
Oh, oh, okay, I get it.
508
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,867
So you think
that I am a criminal!
509
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,602
Joker, joker, joker.
510
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,871
I mean, what else
am I supposed to think?
511
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,473
You know what?
Think what you want.
512
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,641
No, I'm thinking.
513
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,608
Think that.
No, really,
I'm thinking.
514
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,110
No, think that.
I'm thinking.
515
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,678
Think that.
Believe me,
I'm thinking that!
516
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,213
And stay away
from my Turtles.
517
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,149
Well, you outta milk!
518
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,684
Hey, hey! Hey!
519
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:05,718
DREW:
Hey, Mr. Omar.
520
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,287
Uh-uh, don't "Hey" me.
521
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,422
I know y'all were watching
my videotape machine.
522
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,623
How?
523
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,791
The counter told on you.
524
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:15,695
It was at 0743.
Now it says 0002.
525
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,297
So?
526
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,566
So? So the lady I'm seeing
likes to do things
527
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,401
by the numbers.
I was waiting on 800.
528
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,503
She had a special surprise
for me at 800,
529
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,371
and you ruined it!
530
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,439
The surprise was,
she was a man.
531
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,640
Isn't that kinda weird?
532
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,875
Isn't that kinda none
of your business?
533
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:32,579
Look, I told you
not to touch anything.
534
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,815
A deal is a deal.
Now give me back my money.
535
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,552
Any day now.
536
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,288
Tragic!
537
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:45,225
(Cyndi Lauper's
"True Colors" plays)
538
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,761
Um, listen, Rochelle,
539
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,930
I'm sorry for breaking
into your apartment.
540
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,865
Okay.
541
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,702
And you know I think
you're smart and stylish...
542
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:56,703
Mm-hmm.
543
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,271
Like me.
544
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,340
And I'd really like for us
to be friends.
545
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,209
I don't know, Peaches.
546
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,843
You've really went
a little too far.
547
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,512
I know.
548
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,717
Well, I'm sorry for calling
you a criminal.
549
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,652
It's okay.
550
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,621
Okay.
551
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,623
* I see your true colors...
552
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,191
Hey!
Hey!
553
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:21,528
What the hell you think
you're doing?!
What the hell
you think you're doing?!
554
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,629
Get away
from that car!
555
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,198
Angel and I were reaching
a new understanding.
556
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,334
Sorry about Maria.
557
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,336
It's cool. You know, that's
just how girls are.
558
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,737
That's why
I don't mess with them.
559
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,340
No, it's not.
560
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,708
So, I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
561
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,544
See ya.
562
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,749
Yeah, you can go first.
563
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,517
Yep. Bye.
564
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,821
After all was said and done,
even a roomful of girls
565
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,758
wasn't the same as having
one good friend.
566
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,332
Greg
567
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,833
Got kicked out
of the Bronx Academy.
568
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,834
So I'm back.
569
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,503
See you still have that coat.
570
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,772
I've changed in ways
you couldn't imagine, Chris.
571
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,241
I've seen things.
I've done things.
572
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,477
I've tasted blood
and it tastes good.
573
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,246
Taste that, Tonto.
574
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,215
See you later, Kemo Sabe.
575
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,618
Welcome back, dude.
576
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,852
Thanks.
577
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,922
* Everybody hates Chris
578
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,457
* And Greg. *
579
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,810
* Aw, make it funky now.
40208
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