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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,773
* Bad boys, whatcha want...
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,576
CHRIS ROCK:
Typically, in the barbershop,
I heard good news.
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,344
Did you hear?
4
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,180
They renewed The Jeffersons
for another season.
5
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,115
I love me some Weezie,
boy-- whoo!
6
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,084
Did you hear
the Voyager space probe
7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,485
had its first encounter
with Uranus?
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,620
But on this day,
I got the worst news
9
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,222
I could imagine.
Did y'all hear?
10
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,124
Malvo is out of prison.
11
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:26,127
Malvo was the career criminal
that I had helped put away.
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,462
But like the Terminator,
everybody knew he'd be back,
13
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,131
and they were ready.
14
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,400
Shoot, I put extra locks
on my doors.
15
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,402
I put two locks on my bike.
16
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,270
I locked up my locks.
17
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,738
I ain't scared of Malvo.
18
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,573
This is called
"barbershop courage."
19
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,075
Hey, Chris!
20
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:45,446
Chris, Malvo's looking
for you-oo-ooh!
21
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,815
Say what?!
22
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,251
* Whatcha gonna do
when they come for you? *
23
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,385
* Bad boys, bad boys
24
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,620
* Whatcha gonna do?
25
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,754
* Whatcha gonna do...
26
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,424
Somebody help!
27
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,528
Let me in! Please!
28
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,200
Malvo.
29
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,668
Where you been?
30
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,271
Jail.
Yep, that's where you were.
31
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:13,574
Yeah, well, now I'm out--
and I need you to help me.
32
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,310
I could only imagine
what he wanted help with.
33
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,748
Drive, boy! Drive!
34
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,684
Help with what?
35
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,319
Look...
36
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,555
you the smartest
person I know.
37
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,789
Sad but true.
38
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,292
So I need you to help me
to get into high school.
39
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,261
Wait, why do you want
to break into high school?
40
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,462
There's nothing worth stealing.
41
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,397
I know-- I made
that mistake before.
42
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,399
He was sentenced
to stealing a book
43
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,235
about sentences.
I don't want to break in
to high school,
44
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,137
I want to get
into high school.
45
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,639
That'll be the first step
to turning my life around.
46
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,341
What do you want from me?
47
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,876
I want you to tutor me.
48
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,711
Why don't you
just take the GED?
49
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,880
I don't want no GED!
50
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,149
I want the complete experience.
51
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:58,486
I want to sit at the desk,
I want to smell the textbooks
52
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,787
and the chalk,
53
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,689
and I want to be
with the other kids,
54
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,324
frolicking.
55
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,793
Sounds like
Michael Jackson's diary.
56
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,429
I-I don't mean
to make you mad...
57
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,331
or anything...
58
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,333
but...
59
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,536
hypothetically speaking,
what would happen if I said no?
60
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,638
Nothing.
61
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,840
I'm trying to change.
62
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,943
It's not like I'll beat you
up or stab you or anything.
63
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,779
That's how Ike
proposed to Tina.
64
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,617
Oh. Well, then,
in that case...
65
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,386
my answer would have to be...
66
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,821
no.
67
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,856
Run!
68
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,468
* Aw, make it funky now.
69
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,871
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
70
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,393
The men in my family
loved baseball,
71
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,328
and even though
we lived in New York,
72
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,298
my dad's favorite team
was the Los Angeles Dodgers.
73
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,467
Hey, son, what
you listening to?
The Mets.
74
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,402
They're my new
favorite baseball team.
75
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,571
:
No...!
76
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,308
What did you say?
77
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,277
They're, like, the best
team in the league.
78
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,811
They're probably gonna
win the World Series.
79
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,013
What about the Dodgers?
80
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,548
What about 'em?
81
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,285
They hired Jackie Robinson.
82
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,686
So?
83
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,389
Don't you realize that
without the Dodgers,
84
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,491
there'd be no black
people in baseball?
85
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,259
The Dodgers are
from Brooklyn.
86
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,661
The Dodgers have
famous hot dogs.
87
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,730
The Dodgers have
better logos.
88
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,300
The Dodgers marched
with Dr. King.
89
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,336
I don't care.
I still like the Mets.
90
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,539
I guess you can buy
your own food and clothing.
91
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,707
Mature.
92
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,609
Wait, Dad,
don't be like that.
93
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845
Just admit it-- the Mets are
a better team than the Dodgers.
94
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,047
My father believed
in the Dodgers so much,
95
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,682
he did the unthinkable.
96
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,684
You want to put
some money on it?
97
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,886
A bet?
Yeah.
98
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,955
The Dodgers are in
town this weekend
99
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,890
against the Mets,
for three games.
100
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,726
We'll see who's
the better team.
101
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,361
How much?
102
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,962
A dollar.
103
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,031
Okay, you're on.
104
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,601
Take this in the house.
105
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,074
Back at the barbershop,
106
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,544
everybody wanted to know
how I was still alive.
107
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,778
And you said no?
108
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:38,912
Yeah. Ain't nobody
scared of Malvo.
109
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:39,980
Except you.
110
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,583
Uh! I would have never said no.
111
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,385
:
Mm.
Mm, what?
112
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,586
What do you mean?
113
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,787
The man was asking
for your help,
114
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,956
and you turned him down--
sometimes people need a hand.
115
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,058
Now, back when I
hadtroubles,
116
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,694
if it wasn't for
Supercuts Johnson, I don't
know where I'd be today.
117
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,963
Supercut Johnson?
Who's that?
118
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,030
Anywhere relation
to Jehri Curl Johnson?
119
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,467
He was a barber when I
was doing time in prison.
120
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,068
He used to cut hair
on death row.
121
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,570
Why would you want
to get your hair cut
122
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,704
when you're on death row?
123
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,873
You was in the joint?
Oh, yeah.
124
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:06,940
Man, what'd you do?
125
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,476
You know that tag
on the mattress
126
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,578
that says "Do not pull off"?
I pulled that thing off.
127
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,346
Do not pull that
tag off, man.
128
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,647
They are not
playing with y'all.
129
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,683
So Supercuts Johnson
taught you how to cut hair?
130
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,784
Not only that,
131
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,352
he told me that
everybody deserves
132
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,587
a second chance.
133
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,721
CHRIS:
Well, where
is he now?
134
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,122
Oh, he's dead.
135
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,056
He got the chair.
136
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,658
But he looked good.
137
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,527
So, do you think Malvo deserves
a second chance?
138
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,128
Look, your life is
on the line, man.
139
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,130
Do you think he needs
a second chance?
140
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,533
Think about it.
141
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:36,604
Latrinda, those are
some nice earrings.
142
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,772
My mom would never
let me wear those.
143
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,608
My mama don't know--
these are hers.
144
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,476
I wear her stuff all the time.
145
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,611
Can I try 'em on?
146
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,946
Yeah.
147
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,652
Hey, ladies.
148
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,054
What are y'all up to?
Nothing.
149
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,457
Thank you so much
for letting me come over
150
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,526
and play with Tonya.
On, no problem, Latrinda.
151
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,828
I'm happy she finally has
somebody nice to play with.
152
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,095
You guys come on
downstairs.
153
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,064
I'm making some snacks.
Okay.
154
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,436
If I helped Malvo,
155
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,137
maybe someday
he would help someone else--
156
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,005
or at least kill
one less person.
157
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,074
Can't you see I'm trying
to better myself?
158
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,109
Malvo.
What?!
159
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,845
I decided to help you.
160
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,481
Looks like I ain't
gonna be needing you
161
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,749
after all, Four Eyes!
162
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,551
Get out of here!
163
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,086
I thought you said you
weren't gonna beat anybody up.
164
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,989
I wasn't beating him up,
I was threatening him!
165
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,958
He'd gone from a felony
to a misdemeanor.
166
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,159
That was progress.
167
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,861
All right.
Well, let's get started.
168
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,996
Okay.
169
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,699
When I told my parents
about Malvo,
170
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,901
they insisted
on talking to him,
171
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,570
but they were prepared
for anything.
172
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,939
I made you all
a bean pie.
173
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,609
Oh! Thank you!
MALVO:
No. Thank you.
174
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,778
Thank y'all for having me over.
175
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,781
No problem.
It was our pleasure.
176
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,783
So, I understand
you want our son
177
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,885
to help you get
into high school.
Yes, sir.
178
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:01,154
Well, you do realize
it's not a school to get high?
179
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,790
MALVO:
Yes, ma'am.
I figure if I'm
180
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,759
gonna turn my life around,
it starts with education.
181
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,061
That's nice;
education is good.
182
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,598
So what do you plan on
doing with this education?
183
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,200
Well, short-term,
I was thinking
184
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,135
about becoming a male nurse.
185
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,104
Male nurse--
that's good!
186
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,138
You know, not many of those.
187
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,008
That way, he can care for you
188
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,710
after he beats the hell
out of you.
189
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,212
Long-term, I was thinking
about becoming an astronaut.
190
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,880
:
Whoo, that's way up there.
191
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,749
Sky's the limit.
192
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,752
He wanted to be the first man
to steal things in space.
193
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,721
You know, Malvo,
we-we really appreciate
194
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,089
what you're trying
to do.
195
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,725
JULIUS:
Yeah, but, um,
196
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:41,194
we kind of don't like the
idea of our son hanging out
197
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,597
with a... ex-con.
198
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,732
Ex-con, yeah.
199
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:48,569
I understand, sir, but all
I want is a second chance.
200
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,771
I mean,
if I can turn my life around
201
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,540
and become a guy like you,
202
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,174
the world will see me
differently.
203
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,210
No, they won't.
204
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,616
Congratulations.
205
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,285
(Julius and Rochelle
laughing nervously)
Good luck.
206
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,922
Good luck. Good luck.
207
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:13,293
CHRIS:
So, uh, Malvo, do you have
all your records?
208
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,063
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
those were lost in a...
209
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,298
school "fire."
I don't know
why he's doing quotes.
210
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,300
He actually
set the school on fire.
211
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,671
Well, you know, I-I work for
the Department of Records.
212
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,706
Maybe I could
help you find,
213
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,207
you know, some
copies of yours.
214
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,142
That'd be great;
I'd be most gracious.
215
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,778
"Most gracious."
216
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,279
Good word.
217
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,055
Come on, man.
218
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,925
Malvo was trying to do right,
219
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,294
but wrong was knocking
at our door.
220
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,902
Can I help you?
221
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,303
Yeah, you Tonya's mother?
222
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,039
Yes, I am. Who are you?
223
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,941
I'm Alyson; I'm
Latrinda's mother.
224
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,010
I'm here to talk to you
about what your daughter did.
225
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,145
Well, what did my daughter do?
226
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,714
Well, she talked
my little Latrinda
227
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,081
into going to see
an R-rated movie
228
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,349
and I don't appreciate it.
229
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,251
I don't appreciate that outfit.
230
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:14,788
Well, that does not sound
like my Tonya,
231
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,758
but I promise you I'll get
down to the bottom of it.
232
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,660
Yeah, you do that.
233
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,195
I miss Salt-N-Pepa.
234
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,801
What happened
at the movies?
235
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,269
What do you mean?
236
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,871
Latrinda's mother
just came here and told me
237
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,806
you dragged her
to an R-rated movie.
238
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,274
No, that's not what happened.
239
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,076
Latrinda's mother was
supposed to come with us
240
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,146
to see Police Academy 3,
but she just dropped us off,
241
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,748
so Latrinda
wanted to sneak in
242
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,349
to some movie called
Kiss of the Spider Woman,
243
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,618
and they had all nasty
killing and stuff in there
244
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,053
and I didn't want to
see it, so I left.
245
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,921
Mm...
246
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,259
I was used to seeing
Malvo getting booked,
247
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,627
not reading one.
248
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,795
Hey, Chris.
249
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,229
Hey, Malvo.
Where you going?
250
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,700
Down to Greenwich Village to
play Scrabble in the park.
251
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,635
What have you got
there, an abacus?
252
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,870
No.
253
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,072
Well, it's obviously
not an abalone.
254
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,306
What are you talking about?
255
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,375
I'm just practicing
my new words.
256
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,844
Oh, well... listen, man,
257
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,145
my mom pulled up your records.
258
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,181
There's no way you can
get into high school.
259
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,683
Why not?
260
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,151
You never graduated
junior high school.
261
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,722
Now I feel abysmal.
262
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,958
Nothing sadder
than a depressed gangster.
263
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,231
Since I didn't know how to get
Malvo past the eighth grade,
264
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,433
I decided to ask
a professional.
265
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,703
Chris, this is wonderful.
266
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,071
You're like
a one-man Operation PUSH.
267
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,073
Thank you.
And Malvo,
268
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:44,344
with the proper education,
you can do so many things.
269
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,714
You could be a
garbage collector,
270
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,818
garbage truck driver,
garbage truck dispatcher.
271
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,452
The list is endless.
272
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,122
So what do you think
we should do next?
273
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,124
I've got an idea.
274
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,059
Why don't you sit in--
275
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,228
which your people have
historically been good at--
276
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,064
and audit my class?
277
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,200
"Audit" means to attend classes
or lectures as an auditor.
278
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,902
Auditor means "hearer"
or "listener."
279
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,838
Yes.
280
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,239
So, how would that help him?
281
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,942
Well, if he's preparing
for an equivalency test,
282
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,177
he needs classroom
experience.
283
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,847
It'll help him get acclimated.
Acclimated:
284
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,816
"to accustom or to become
accustomed to a new climate
285
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:23,917
or an environment."
286
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,254
Thank you, Miss Morello.
287
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:30,991
Yes, thank you.
288
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,326
Chris, I think this
is a great way for you
289
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,228
to get your father
off the streets.
290
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,430
And in her bed.
291
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,968
Back home, my father was
realizing that these weren't
292
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,169
Jackie Robinson's Dodgers.
293
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,038
Yes! Ha!
The Mets win again.
294
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,040
Looks like you
owe me a dollar.
295
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,309
My father was a strong man,
but right then,
296
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,944
that dollar weighed a ton.
297
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,246
Double or nothing?
298
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,382
You want to let it ride?
299
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,487
Let it ride.
300
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,194
Malvo was a big hit in school.
301
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,796
Now, when you're
on the yard,
302
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:09,963
it's all about attitude.
303
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,231
If you don't think
you're tough,
304
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,532
somebody might
shank you,
305
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,767
so you think
you're tough, right?
306
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,903
Yeah, yeah,
I think I'm tough.
307
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,905
And I'm ready for recess.
308
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,072
Yeah, bring it on!
309
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,309
Nice brag, Bobby Joe.
310
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,377
At least he didn't shank you.
311
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,517
That was sweet.
312
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,320
You gonna do it like that?
313
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,354
Huh?
314
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,023
I'll kill...!
315
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,292
Who can name the
five characteristics
of an ecosystem?
316
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,329
I see one hand.
317
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,197
Class...?
318
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,999
Anybody else?
319
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,335
Your mama's so fat
she left a ring
around the lake.
320
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,570
And your mama's teeth
so yellow,
321
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,005
when she smile,
cars slow down.
322
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,941
And your mama's so black
323
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:57,110
that she uses Armor All
instead of lotion.
324
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,178
You talking
about my mama?
325
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,346
No.
326
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,482
Nah, that's a good joke.
327
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,051
Chris, Malvo,
328
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,186
I'm afraid
I've got some bad news.
329
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,054
What is it?
330
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,155
Malvo, there was
331
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,857
a background check done on you
332
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,324
and it was discovered
333
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,927
you were just released
from prison.
334
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,063
And although
335
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,498
I find this dance with danger
336
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,034
exciting and
titillating,
337
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,204
other people are scared
out of their minds
338
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,839
and they want you out.
339
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,074
What other people?
340
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,043
Let's just say
the higher authorities.
341
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,945
Let's just say
the white people.
342
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,081
Now how am I supposed
to get into high school?
343
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,317
This is like if BET made
an after-school special.
344
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,424
Now I was on my own trying
345
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,926
to get Malvo through
this process,
346
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,394
but Malvo was making progress.
347
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,096
What year was
the Magna Carta signed?
348
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,898
1215.
349
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:51,932
You got another one right.
350
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:52,966
Yeah!
351
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,301
Hey! I was just wondering
352
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,303
how studying was coming along.
353
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,404
Good.
354
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,106
Yeah, Malvo's doing great.
355
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,241
Okay, just
checking on you.
356
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,176
Go back to studying.
357
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,413
Okay, um,
the Battle of Hastings?
358
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,647
1066.
359
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,017
You, sir, are smarter
than a ninth-grader.
360
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,552
And you're only 32.
361
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,422
And now another installment
of Parenting for Dummies...
362
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,924
Where's my daughter?
363
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,126
...at R. Kelly's house.
364
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,228
How would I know?
365
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,897
Well, I called
Latrinda from work.
366
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,198
She says Tonya's coming over.
367
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,100
I get to the house,
nobody's there,
368
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,635
so, obviously,
Tonya dragged her off
369
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,370
to God knows where.
370
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,205
So you're telling me that
Latrinda's gone off someplace
371
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,207
and you think Tonya has
something to do with it?
372
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,043
Uh, yeah.
373
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,677
Tonya?
374
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,113
Yes, Mama?
375
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:45,152
Do you have any idea
where Latrinda is?
376
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,486
No.
377
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:47,988
Don't lie to me.
378
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,924
She's at Black Paul's house.
379
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:51,925
Black Paul?!
380
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:52,960
Black Paul?
381
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,594
Oh, Lordy, not Black Paul!
382
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,364
She asked me to go with her
and I said I couldn't come.
383
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:01,969
Does this answer
your question?
384
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,172
Yeah, thank you.
385
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,174
Oh, um, excuse me.
386
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,242
Does, um...
does Tonya know
387
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,378
where, exactly,
Black Paul lives?
388
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,480
Next door
to Brown Willy's house.
389
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:20,988
You and I need
to talk... yeah.
390
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,255
I'll be back.
391
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,057
ANNOUNCER:
And here's the pitch...
392
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,658
Strike three called!
393
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,660
And that's the ball game
as the Mets win again
394
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,362
against the Dodgers!
Yes! I win again!
395
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,032
And that's two in a row...
Double or nothing.
396
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,600
Double or nothing?
397
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,068
On two dollars?
398
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:38,071
That's right.
Double or nothing.
399
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,140
Got yourself a bet.
400
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,444
Ow! Ow!
401
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,679
You know, she knows
I don't like her
402
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,215
hanging out with Paul.
403
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,083
I mean, that girl
act like she can do
404
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,418
whatever she want to do.
405
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,087
Well, maybe
she's not acting.
What?
406
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,991
You know, I think you're
setting a bad example for her.
407
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:01,194
Maybe you need to grow up.
408
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,529
What are you
talking about?
409
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,231
I mean, look
at yourself, Allison.
410
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,333
You running around here
looking like Salt-N-Pepa.
411
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,201
while your daughter's running
the streets
412
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,669
and we out looking
for Mr. Goodbar.
413
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,404
Look, you don't know me, okay?
414
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,506
You don't know nothing
about me.
415
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,575
You know what?
You right.
416
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,511
Maybe I'm the one
who's crazy.
417
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:22,082
I need to be more like you,
you know?
418
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,117
Gritty!
419
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,785
Living on the edge!
420
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,254
You know?
421
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,156
Crazy, sexy, cool!
422
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,158
Funky, fresh!
423
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,392
You know what?
424
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,094
To hell with these
nappy-headed kids, girl.
425
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:37,264
Let's go out
and spray paint a wall.
426
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,199
Let's buy a knife
and trade it for a gun.
427
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,567
Matter of fact, let's
sell some blood, girl.
428
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,269
What you, A
429
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,571
You know what? Maybe we should
get pregnant again.
430
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,173
Let's have another...
Or maybe
431
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,007
you should just mind
your own business.
432
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,613
It was do-or-die for Malvo.
433
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,582
Either he was gonna
pass his test
434
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,550
or the world would have
one less astronaut.
435
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,320
TEACHER:
The answers are all
multiple choice.
436
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,589
So make sure you fill in
all circles completely.
437
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,791
Keep your eyes
on your own paper.
438
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:08,328
If you cheat, you leave.
439
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,371
Well?
440
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,273
I scored
in the 70 percentile.
441
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,508
I passed!
442
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,642
Congratulations.
443
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:23,743
Thanks, Chris, man,
444
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,278
I couldn't did it without you.
445
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,314
When nobody else
believed in me, you did.
446
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,183
You the wind beneath
beneath my wings.
447
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,785
And he was the convict
beneath my nightmares.
448
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,387
Despite the awkwardness
of this moment,
449
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:38,491
I was really happy
I helped Malvo.
450
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,861
Things were looking good for
Malvo, but bad for my father.
451
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,363
ANNOUNCER:
The Mets win again,
452
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,199
completing the three-game sweep
of the Dodgers.
453
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,367
And the Dodger fans...
454
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,835
It's a sad day,
isn't it?
455
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,138
I mean, it's got to be
hard when you realize
456
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,305
that your team
is second-best.
457
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,242
The team you loved
your whole life
458
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,409
since you were
a little boy.
459
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,514
Here's you four dollars.
460
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,383
Don't talk to me.
461
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,485
Ow.
462
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,560
Hey.
463
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,596
Um, I just came by
to apologize.
464
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,598
Really?
465
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:19,866
Yeah, Latrinda
466
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,434
went and got herself
in more trouble.
467
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,836
She said if it was okay
for me to act this way,
468
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,405
then why wasn't it okay for her?
469
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,407
That's a good question.
470
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,608
What did you tell her?
471
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,143
I just told her,
I said,
472
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,211
"Look, I'm your mother
473
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,479
"and if you don't straighten up,
474
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,380
"then I'm gonna knock
the medulla
475
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,647
out of your oblongata."
476
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,450
That's what I'm talking about!
477
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,186
Good for you, girl.
478
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,355
So, um, anyway,
I just wanted to say thank you
479
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,424
for talking to me
the way that you did.
480
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,159
It really helped.
481
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,327
Any time.
482
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,429
And you know, who knows?
483
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,631
Maybe sometimes,
Latrinda can come over again...
484
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,832
Take care, girl.
485
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,473
So, you enjoying
my four dollars?
486
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,941
That's long gone.
487
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,278
Boy, what can you blow
four dollars on that fast?
488
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:09,849
Actually, it was five, but
I figured you were worth it.
489
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,818
For the number-one fan
490
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,453
of thenumber-two team
in baseball.
491
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,188
Thanks.
492
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,889
This tender moment should
not be diminished,
493
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,426
but later that day
my father returned that hat,
494
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,927
got his five dollars back
495
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,263
and ended up a dollar up
on the deal.
496
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,434
Hey, Malvo,
how's it going?
497
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,202
Pretty good, pretty good.
498
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,804
I made a decision and I wanted
to tell you about it first.
499
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,406
About high school?
500
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,642
Yeah. I'm not going.
501
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,910
What?!
What are you talking about?
502
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,846
Getting into
high school is harder
503
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,548
that getting into jail.
504
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,217
You got to obey all these rules,
you got to fill out forms,
505
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,353
you got to stand in line
to get licenses for things.
506
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,221
What was all this about then?
507
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,622
Why'd you put me
through all this?
508
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,924
Well, I thought
my life would be better
509
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,894
if I wasn't in trouble,
and it is better...
510
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,263
but I'm bored, Chris.
511
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,764
I mean, when we
were studying
512
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,599
and working on
stuff together,
513
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,734
it was exciting.
514
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,370
But to tell you
the truth, Chris,
515
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,537
I'm okay at being right,
516
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,340
but I'm an expert
at being wrong.
517
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,876
Malvo, you can't do this
to me, man.
518
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,578
I mean, what about
all my hard work?
519
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,012
Yeah, I appreciate that.
520
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547
That's why I'm not
robbing you anymore.
521
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,782
Thanks.
522
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,450
I'm robbing the store.
523
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,718
Now give me all the money.
524
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:23,456
* Everybody hates Chris.
525
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:23,556
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