Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,634 --> 00:00:02,603
* Freeze frame!
2
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:09,043
You remembered to put an
extra pair of socks on, right?
3
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,010
Yes, ma'am.
4
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,645
WEATHERMAN :
Today in New York City,
5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,714
expect a lot of snow,
and it's coming down fast.
6
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,650
We've had six inches reported
the last hour in Manhattan
7
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,420
and four inches in Park Slope.
8
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,155
Mom, do I have
to go to school?
9
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,756
I mean, it's snowing
like crazy.
10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,692
It's snow, Chris,
not Armageddon,
11
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:25,759
Now hurry up.
12
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,229
You know the buses are
going to be running slow.
13
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,430
Go.
14
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,631
CHRIS ROCK:
Because my mother wanted us
15
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,433
to get the best education
possible,
16
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:36,270
as long as school was open,
we had to go no matter what.
17
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,672
Ooh, baby.
18
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,408
Your temperature is 103.
19
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,110
Can I stay home from school?
20
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,178
No. Just put this ice
pack under your hat.
21
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,213
You'll be all right.
22
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,817
Ooh, baby, I think
you got food poisoning.
23
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:50,851
Can I stay home
from school?
24
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,620
No.
Drink this ipecac.
25
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,687
You'll be all right.
26
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,588
While I was on the road,
27
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,490
Drew and Tonya were
on the couch.
28
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,692
Okay, come on,
y'all, let's go.
29
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,794
...and Saint Seraphim
Elementary.
30
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,264
In Bedford Stuyvesant,
latest school closings
31
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,632
include Linville Elementary,
32
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,801
Lamont Sanford Junior High,
and Dolemite Elementary.
33
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,470
Ooh, yes!
34
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,804
School is closed!
Yeah!
35
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,740
:
We're staying home from school.
It's cold out there.
36
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,108
We're staying home
from school.
What's going on?
37
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,809
Our school just closed.
38
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,245
What?
Yeah, we get
to stay home.
39
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,379
Yeah!
Where's Chris?
40
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,747
He already left.
41
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:20,714
His school's not closed?
42
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,816
Well, they didn't
mention it on the news.
43
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,385
Is he going to be all right?
44
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,753
Oh, I'm sure
he'll be fine, baby.
45
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:26,620
But look,
I got to go.
46
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:27,855
I left your breakfast
on the stove.
47
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,858
Wait. Drew and Tonya are
going to be here all day?
48
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,793
What? You got another home
to take them to?
49
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,228
I got to go,
baby, I'm late.
50
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,496
Love you.
51
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,831
Meanwhile, there were more kids
at my house
52
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,600
than there were at my school.
53
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,775
Hello?
54
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,877
Is anyone here?
55
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,813
I wouldn't put it past all
the other kids to hide from me.
56
00:01:52,846 --> 00:02:02,890
Captioning sponsored by
CBS PARAMOUNT NETWORK
TELEVISION
57
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:12,900
Captioning sponsored by
CBS PARAMOUNT NETWORK
TELEVISION
58
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:33,787
Whoa!
59
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,789
Man, what is wrong with you,
sneaking up on people?
60
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,191
Chris, what are
you doing here?
61
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,926
School was
cancelled today.
62
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:39,793
Since when?
63
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,962
They announced it
about an hour ago.
64
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,964
I left the house
an hour and a half ago.
65
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,468
Well, I suppose we should
see about getting you home.
66
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,803
Even though Principal Edwards
had traveled the world,
67
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,406
he couldn't get me
back to Brooklyn.
68
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,675
I'm sorry, Chris,
I can't let you go.
69
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,809
Why not?
70
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,845
Our phones are out.
71
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,347
You're not allowed
to leave school
72
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,416
without the consent
of a parent or guardian.
73
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,617
So you're saying
the only reason why
74
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:04,852
I can't leave
is 'cause I'm here?
75
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,221
That, my friend,
is a paradox.
76
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:09,990
Sounds more like C-block.
77
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,792
Why would your mother
78
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,994
allow you to go out
in weather like this?
79
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,329
She's crazy.
80
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:16,864
She doesn't like us
to miss school.
81
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,867
Let's not disappoint her.
82
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,471
While I was getting snowed in,
back at home, the word was out.
83
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,906
To repeat, city buses
are experiencing delays
84
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,541
of up to four hours
85
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,977
due to closings
and hazardous conditions.
86
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,880
Now here's a list
of the latest school closures.
87
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,282
Corleone Junior High...
88
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,450
Daddy, look, Chris'
school is closed.
89
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,918
What?
90
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,254
DREW:
Oh, see, it says Corleone
Junior High School.
91
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:42,656
If his school is closed,
how come he hasn't called?
92
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,558
Maybe he got trapped
in a snowdrift
93
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,460
and had to eat
his own mouth to survive.
94
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,829
That's a thought.
95
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,331
Where are you going?
96
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,999
I'm going to get your brother.
97
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:52,900
Who's going to
stay with us?
98
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,869
Oh... I'll be right back.
99
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,638
Even though
the weather was horrible,
100
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,039
my mother liked riding
the subway.
101
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,675
Being with strangers is
a lot less stressful
102
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,743
than being with your family.
103
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,645
This is a stickup!
104
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,646
Shut up!
105
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,581
Aw, damn.
Aw, damn.
106
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,419
CONDUCTOR :
We're sorry for the sudden stop.
107
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,320
If you'll all remain seated,
108
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,854
we'll be on our way
in a few minutes.
109
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,923
Aw, damn!
110
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,658
Well?
111
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,427
"Well" nothing.
112
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,828
This is still a stickup.
113
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,365
Will you be quiet?
114
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,901
I was the only one in school,
115
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,971
but Principal Edwards handled
things by the book.
116
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,039
He took attendance.
117
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,342
Caroline?
118
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,443
Chris?
119
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,044
Here.
120
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,847
Chris.
121
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,014
Eddie?
122
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,583
We said
the Pledge of Allegiance.
123
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,786
BOTH:
One nation, under God,
indivisible
124
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,922
with liberty
and justice for all.
125
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,758
Since I was the only one
in class,
126
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,626
he let me say
the Black Pledge of Allegiance.
127
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,095
BOTH:
One nation under a groove
128
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,098
getting down just
for the funk of it.
129
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,834
One nation
and we're on the move.
130
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:04,438
Nothing can stop us now.
131
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,707
After lunch,
we sang "Aqua Boogie."
132
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,044
After that, we got down
to serious business.
133
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,946
All right, class.
134
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,951
First up, I'm giving you
a quiz on Pearl Harbor.
135
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:22,089
What? Ms. Morello didn't have
a quiz planned for today.
136
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:26,794
Consider it a surprise,
just like Pearl Harbor.
137
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,663
Eyes on your own paper.
138
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,132
My father couldn't leave
Drew and Tonya home alone,
139
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,034
because if you pull
that Home Alone crap
140
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,103
in a black neighborhood,
they take away your kids.
141
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,104
Can I help you?
142
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,138
I was looking
for Mr. Omar.
143
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,973
Oh, hey,
Mr. Julius.
144
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,042
Yeah, this is my friend
Mrs. Booker.
145
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,744
I'm sorry about your husband.
146
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,046
Yeah, caught a deadly case
of botulism.
147
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,047
Tragic, tragic.
148
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,115
How did you know...
149
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,051
Baby, why don't you go
and put that record on for me?
150
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,420
Okay.
151
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,558
Yeah, wha-- so, uh,
what can I do for you?
152
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,959
I need to pick
Chris up from school
153
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,494
and I was wondering if
you could keep an eye
154
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,095
on Drew and Tonya
till I get back?
155
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,665
Mr. Omar had another back
to keep an eye on.
156
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,099
Yeah, can't you get
somebody else, man?
157
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,034
I really need your help.
158
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,537
I mean, all you got to
do is check on them.
159
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,771
They'll be easy,
I promise.
160
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,540
Speaking of easy...
161
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,674
I don't know, man.
162
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,075
I'll take ten dollars
off the rent.
163
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,510
I'll be down in a minute.
164
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,111
Thank you.
165
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,448
Any questions?
166
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,482
Anyone?
167
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,752
Yes, Chris?
168
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:28,722
I'm the only one in the
entire city that's in school.
169
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,191
So, why should I have to learn
when everybody else is sitting
170
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,160
on their couch watching
The Price Is Right?
171
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:37,631
Chris, the true measure
of a man is not what he does
172
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,633
when he is being watched.
173
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:43,103
It's what he does
when he is alone.
174
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,639
Technically, this isn't
a real school day.
175
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,809
If you haven't noticed,
I'm not supposed to be here.
176
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,411
So why should
I take classes?
177
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,648
All right.
178
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,084
Do whatever you want.
179
00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:00,554
So you're saying that if I get
up and walk out of that door,
180
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,089
you won't do anything
to stop me?
181
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,157
No.
182
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,793
Good-bye.
183
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:06,927
As I was storming out,
184
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,962
the storm outside
was picking up.
185
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,067
I haven't seen
186
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,536
a sea of white like this
187
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,437
since the Republican
National Convention.
188
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,910
Come on, in the bag!
Put it in the bag!
189
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,778
Get to the back!
Come on!
190
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,213
CHRIS:
My mother had lost her money,
191
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,148
but there was only
so much she could take.
192
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,917
Good day to rob a train, huh?
193
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,718
Watch your mouth!
194
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:31,719
Why?!
195
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:32,986
You done already took my money!
196
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,221
What else you gonna take,
my seat?
197
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,255
I might shoot you!
198
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,924
And you might go to jail!
199
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:37,825
You got six bullets
200
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,092
and nine passengers,
201
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,794
which leaves
three witnesses,
202
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,930
and 25 years to life!
203
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,998
Don't shoot her, shoot me.
204
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,166
Don't tell me who to shoot!
205
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,501
What are you,
trying to get shot?!
206
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,135
Shut up!
207
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,104
Will you be quiet?!
208
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,039
Sit down.
209
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,841
While my mother
was pushing her luck,
210
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,610
Mr. Omar was trying
to pull a fast one.
211
00:07:56,644 --> 00:08:00,180
Hey, I got peanut butter
and jelly, fried bologna
212
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,250
and mustard,
Kool-Aid and chips.
213
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,251
The homeless shelter special.
214
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,352
Anything else?
215
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,921
I thought you were supposed
to be staying with us.
216
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,990
No, I told you father
I would check on y'all.
217
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,859
So I'm checking on you.
You okay?
218
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:12,526
Yeah.
219
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,894
All right, so
I'll be back
220
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,529
to check on
you again.
Mr. Omar...
221
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,767
Can you make me
some hot chocolate?
222
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,903
Okay. Hot chocolate it is.
223
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:25,706
Oh, Mr. Omar?
224
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,907
Uh
Could you please
225
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,941
make me some cheese toast?
226
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:30,243
Cheese toast and hot chocolate.
227
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,179
Okay, great.
228
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,048
While Mr. Omar
was stuck babysitting,
229
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,316
my father was just plain stuck.
230
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,002
Should've bought
those snow tires.
231
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,236
My father was willing
232
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,772
to brave the elements
to save his son,
233
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,073
but to save money,
234
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,175
he bought the cheapest tires
known to man.
235
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,252
He's the only black out
in a whiteout.
236
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:24,097
With too much snow to stay
outside, I went back inside
237
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,333
to find crouching tiger,
hidden principal.
238
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,701
Principal Edwards?
239
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,138
I thought you left.
240
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,907
Yeah, but I came back.
241
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,308
Hyah!
242
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:38,278
Captain Obvious
strikes again.
243
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,312
Hoo-wah!
244
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,649
I'm sorry.
245
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,651
Are you really?
246
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,385
You did what you
wanted to do.
247
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,955
:
Shh-woo, yah!
248
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,289
Just didn't work out
249
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,024
the way you planned.
250
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,093
It's not like I didn't want
to take my classes.
251
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,930
I haven't missed a day
of school all year.
252
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,666
I work hard.
253
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,368
It's just that the one day
I could spend at home relaxing,
254
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,003
I'm stuck here with you.
255
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,139
So what's the point
in doing schoolwork today?
256
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,077
You know what?
You're right.
257
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,344
I am?
258
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,714
Sure you are.
259
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,348
So what now?
260
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,118
Ninja lessons?
261
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,422
I'm sorry
about that.
262
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,925
Look here, if you're gonna
keep talking about getting shot,
263
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,359
you need to sit
over there somewhere.
264
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,227
I'm sorry.
265
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,396
I figured I didn't
have much to lose.
266
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,031
Why?
267
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,300
Yesterday was my
61st birthday
268
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,804
and... nobody in
my family called.
269
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,039
I was headed to the
Brooklyn Bridge
270
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,108
to jump off.
271
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,342
You were gonna jump off a bridge
272
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,778
'cause you didn't
get a phone call?
273
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,146
No wonder they
didn't call you.
274
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,280
You're selfish.
275
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,383
A 61-year-old gonna
jump off a bridge
276
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,219
'cause he didn't
get a phone call.
277
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,287
I wouldn't call you either.
It's too much pressure.
278
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,957
You don't know
anything about me.
279
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,793
I know you're too damn old
to be jumping off bridges.
280
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,229
Well, it's none of
your business anyway.
281
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,164
Wait a minute, you're
the one standing up
talking 'bout,
282
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,999
"Don't shoot her,
shoot me."
283
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,467
Well, then why didn't
you let him shoot me?
284
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,369
I'm not gonna
have people thinking
285
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,739
you saved my life. You ain't
nothing but a big baby.
286
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,707
Scarface,
whatever you do,
287
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,409
don't shoot him.
Oh, could you shoot me, please?
288
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,211
It's the only way my boss
is gonna believe this.
289
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,249
Since we'd done a little work,
290
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,484
Principal Edwards decided
we could have a little fun.
291
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,506
* For all you sucker MCs
perpetrating a fraud *
292
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,442
* Your rhymes are cold whack
and keep the crowd cold bored *
293
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,511
* You're the kind of guy
that girl a ignored *
294
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,047
* I'm drivin' a Caddy,
you fixin' a Ford *
295
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,216
* My name is Joseph Simmons,
but my middle name's Lord *
296
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,450
* And when I'm rockin'
on the mic *
297
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,019
* You should all applaud
because we're *
298
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,188
* Wheelin', dealin',
we got a funny feelin' *
299
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,490
* We rock from the floor
up the ceilin' *
300
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,126
* We groove it, you move it,
it has been proven *
301
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,461
* We calmed the savage beast
because our music is soothin' *
302
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,398
Back at home, Drew and Tonya
were monopolizing
303
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,065
all of Mr. Omar's time.
304
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,967
Ha! Boardwalk with a hotel.
305
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,136
Looks like somebody
owes me $2,000.
306
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,271
Oh, dang. Tragic.
307
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,807
Um, Mr. Omar?
308
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,975
How come every time
we see you with a woman,
309
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,176
their husband just died?
310
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,245
Well, that's because
311
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,414
I'm a funeral
director, baby.
312
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,950
But when the wives die,
313
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,885
how come you don't
make friends with the husbands?
314
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,288
Oh, well, men don't
need as much attention.
315
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,957
Man, if my wife died,
316
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,860
I'd be crying, sitting
at home by myself
317
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,028
wondering what
I'm gonna do...
318
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,896
how to go on.
319
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,065
I'd be wishing anybody
would talk to me.
320
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,900
Well, women are sensitive,
321
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,069
you know, in a different
kind of way.
322
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,104
Oh, I thought
that women were like
323
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,539
that because they
were desperate.
324
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:53,974
Roll the dice, baby.
325
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,109
Here you go.
326
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,545
Ha!
This wasn't
327
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,114
so bad after all.
328
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,084
Hey! You know,
that's a cool vase.
329
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,253
That's three centuries old.
330
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,821
Wow.
331
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,056
So what do all
those markings mean?
332
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:13,326
They represent honor.
333
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,030
They did until Paris Hilton
tattooed them on her ass.
334
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:20,367
I wanted this for my wife.
335
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,534
You're married?
336
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,403
I was.
337
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,105
We split up a few years ago.
338
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,439
She took the money
339
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,942
and I kept the vase.
Figures.
340
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:32,445
This vase...
341
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,247
changed my life.
342
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,415
How's that?
343
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,451
It taught me one
of life's great lessons.
344
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:42,122
All that we have been or done
345
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,957
is in the past.
346
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:47,127
Live in the now.
347
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,131
What?
348
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,268
I wonder what Eastern
philosophy has to say
349
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,304
about crazy glue.
350
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,545
Girl, what you crying about?
351
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,980
All he said was, "Be quiet."
352
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:10,217
It's not that. I just broke up
with my fiancé.
353
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,551
This ring looks pretty cheap.
354
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,520
It is cheap.
355
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,923
So that's why you broke
up with him? 'Cause he
doesn't have any money?
356
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:19,092
No, I broke up with him because
I want him to get a job,
357
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,228
but thinks he's going
to be a movie director.
358
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,096
Well, at least he ain't
out robbing trains.
359
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:26,333
And get this, he took my credit
card to make his last film.
360
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,036
Now how you gonna
make a movie
on a credit card?
361
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,437
What's Mr. Movie
Director's name?
362
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,506
Sheldon.
363
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,542
Now, how you gonna
be a movie director
364
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:36,977
with a name like Sheldon?
365
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,279
His friends call him Spike.
366
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,148
Oh, girl, that's worse.
367
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,649
Trust me.
You can do better
368
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,117
than a Black man
named Spike.
369
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,653
Try and find a guy
with a nice name,
370
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,521
like, like,
like Orenthal.
371
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,390
That's nice.
She later became the first
372
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,260
Black girl in history
to be glad she wasn't White.
373
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,063
The snow stopped the traffic,
but it couldn't stop Risky.
374
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,166
RISKY:
Julius! Julius!
375
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,468
Risky?
376
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,170
What are you doing
out here, man?
377
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,338
Chris is stuck at school.
I gotta get him.
378
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:06,706
Can you help me out?
379
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,175
Oh, sorry, no room, man.
380
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,376
Me and my man, Nanook,
381
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,211
out here trying
to make money on these
382
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,545
cross-country skis.
383
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,048
You want a pair?
384
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,052
How much?
385
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,389
You know I didn't
mean to break it.
386
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,325
It's okay.
387
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,727
It's just a vase.
388
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,629
A vase that changed my life.
389
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:35,735
Sometimes I wish I could
change my life.
390
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,670
Go places like you.
391
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,240
Get away from the school.
392
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,674
The neighborhood.
393
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,511
Caruso.
394
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,679
Doesn't work like that.
395
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:50,383
As long as you're you,
they'll always be a Caruso.
396
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,586
I thought about living
in Japan.
397
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,222
Arigato, Slappy.
398
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,424
In London...
Cheerio, Nipsy.
399
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,993
Morocco...
Asalamalakem, Flip.
400
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,264
So what should I do?
401
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,767
Just because you're you...
402
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,503
doesn't mean you can't
be somebody else.
403
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,039
That's called schizophrenia.
404
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,240
Now what about you?
405
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,142
I mean, you traveled
all around the world.
406
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,676
Why'd you come back
to be a principal?
407
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,745
I am going to tell
you a story
408
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,781
that I've never
told anyone else.
409
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,783
Not my wife, my priest,
410
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,219
my shrink, no one.
I hope he doesn't
411
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:28,121
say, "If I did it,
here's how it happened."
412
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,158
It all began
at a pancake house
in Minneapolis.
413
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,127
GREG:
Hey, Chris.
414
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,528
What are you guys
doing down there?
415
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:39,166
Nothing, just talking.
What are you doing here?
416
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,534
Well, I called your house,
and Drew said you were here.
417
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,070
I couldn't
believe it,
418
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,405
so I had to come
and check for myself.
419
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,208
Well... think I'll, uh...
420
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,044
step outside and check
on the weather.
421
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,479
See about getting
you home, Chris.
422
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,215
Yeah, all right.
423
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,387
Good, uh... good talking
to you, Greg.
424
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,555
You, too, Principal Edwards.
425
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,260
Omar, can I talk
to you a second?
426
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,428
Oh, be right back.
427
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,832
Monopoly wasn't all
he was losing.
428
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,667
How much longer
are you going to
be down here?
429
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,070
Well, the way Drew's
playing, not much longer.
430
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,172
He got me for $2,000.
431
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,541
I didn't come here to hear
you talk about Monopoly.
432
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,176
Mr. Omar, it's your turn.
433
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,313
Uh, here I come. Look, I told
Mr. Julius I would
434
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,181
watch the kids and that's
what I'm gonna do.
435
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,349
I'm sorry.
436
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,218
You watching the kids?
I'm going home.
437
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,686
Well, you'd better take
those pumps off and put
on some snow shoes
438
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,855
or you ain't gonna make it.
439
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,258
Excuse me, uh, Scarface.
440
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,294
Can I talk to you for a minute?
441
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:44,697
My mother never talked
to anyone for just a minute.
442
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:52,239
Now, are you sure
you want to do this?
443
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,773
What difference
does it make to you?
444
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,775
Well, didn't your mother
teach you better
445
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:56,809
than to go around
robbing people?
446
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,579
She's the one who taught me
how to rob people.
447
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,748
Well, if I was your mother,
448
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,184
I would've knocked
the rob out of you
449
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,752
a long time ago.
LUTHER:
Listen to her.
450
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,520
She's a good person.
Hear that?
451
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:11,191
I just wish I'd met her before
I got my wife's sister pregnant.
452
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,128
You got your wife's
sister pregnant?
453
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,496
Uh, just once.
454
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,265
All I'm saying is,
455
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:21,568
is that you're better than this.
456
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,206
And at least your son and your
nephew ain't the same person.
457
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,376
Thank you.
458
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,413
Rochelle.
459
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:41,188
When you get home, call my dad
and tell him I'm on the way.
460
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,522
No problem.
461
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,224
Ah, well, see ya.
462
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,226
Man, see you later.
463
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,302
The adventure was
just ending for me,
464
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,737
but it was just beginning
for my father.
465
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,839
Chris!
466
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,808
I'm here!
467
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,576
Chris!
468
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,412
I'm here!
469
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,314
Chris!
470
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,849
I'm here to take you home!
471
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,951
Chris...!
472
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:15,222
Most days we were together,
we couldn't wait to be apart.
473
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,623
But every now and again,
474
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,192
it felt really good
to be together.
475
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,760
It's cold out there today.
476
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,329
That snow is crazy.
477
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,763
I went all the way
to your school.
478
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:24,997
What happened to you?
479
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,301
I was the only one there, so
soon as I could leave, I left.
480
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,969
You're not gonna believe
what happened to me today.
481
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,238
I got robbed.
482
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,071
ALL:
What?!
483
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,873
Yes. This guy
kept me on the train
484
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,975
for, like, five hours,
took all my money.
485
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,277
How much did you have?
486
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,278
A dollar.
487
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,011
:
Oh.
488
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,580
Huh, that sounds
just like Drew.
489
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,215
We were playing
Monopoly,
490
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,484
and Drew took
all Mr. Omar's money.
491
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,253
Mr. Omar was here?
492
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,355
Yeah, he watched us
after Dad left.
493
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,389
When did you leave?
494
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,657
Right after you left.
495
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,459
You're just now
getting back?
496
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,326
I went to get you!
497
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,295
I'm in a snow storm.
What about Mr. Omar?
498
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,497
(all talking excitedly
over one another)
499
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,232
Y'all know y'all not supposed
to have anybody else.
500
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,933
They closed the school,
there's nowhere for you to go.
501
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,436
When Daddy leaves,
you make sure...
502
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:06,473
After spending the whole day
inside with Principal Edwards,
503
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,407
I no longer felt
504
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,541
like an outsider.
505
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,676
I had a new friend.
506
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,011
You're late.
507
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,713
What
508
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,014
But what about yesterday?
509
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,284
That was in the past,
we're in the now, Chris.
510
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,718
And now you're late.
511
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,388
See you in detention.
512
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,790
* Everybody hates Chris
513
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,593
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
36212
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof