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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:02,803
EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS #027
"Everybody Hates Malvo"
CLOSED CAPTIONED
2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,438
CHRIS ROCK:
Working at Doc's Corner Store
was pretty easy.
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,107
I stocked shelves...
4
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,241
I delivered groceries...
5
00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:11,212
Now, hurry up, Chris, and
don't let her ice cream melt.
6
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:14,148
...I even made pickled eggs.
7
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,217
About the only job
Doc never let me do
8
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,751
was work the register.
9
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,753
Chris, listen here,
10
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,489
I have to go and
do something.
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,125
I'm going to have to leave
for about half an hour.
12
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,126
Okay, I'll help you lock up.
13
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,527
No, we're not
locking up.
14
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,629
I want you
to stay here.
15
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,199
You think you can handle
the register while I'm gone?
16
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,667
For real?!
Where are you going?
17
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:34,902
Got to go to the bank.
18
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,638
Since Doc didn't leave the
store during business hours,
19
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,540
he never got to go to the bank.
20
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,442
I never knew
where he kept his money.
21
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,144
That will be
a deposit.
22
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:47,381
That mattress was his wallet.
23
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,684
* Oh, money, money,
money, money... *
24
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,554
I won't be gone long.
25
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,190
Don't take any bills over $20,
26
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,592
and count your change out loud.
27
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,230
Lick your fingers, make sure
your bills don't stick.
28
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,298
There's a bamboo stick
under the counter
29
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,500
in case anybody give you
any trouble.
30
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,369
Like who
31
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,570
Bam!
32
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,339
Boo!
33
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,706
Got it?
34
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,109
Got it.
35
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:19,747
* He said, "Money's
too tight to mention" *
36
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:24,252
* Oh, money, money,
money, money... *
37
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,887
Can I help you?
* Money's too tight
to mention... *
38
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,190
Yeah. Give me the money!
39
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,224
Now!
40
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,294
Malvo was the neighborhood's
repeat offender.
41
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,528
He always committed crimes.
42
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,366
Yeah, Shorty,
that's real argyle.
43
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,567
He always got caught.
44
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,169
Oh, Malvo!
45
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,203
This is the police.
46
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,439
And he always got out.
47
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,675
See you next
time, Malvo.
All right.
48
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,377
When Shawshank Redemption
came out,
49
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,644
Malvo thought it was a comedy.
50
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:51,812
Boy, hurry up!
51
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,347
Okay, okay, okay.
52
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,648
Just don't shoot me.
53
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,385
Come on, man.
54
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,353
Hmm.
55
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:03,291
You ever notice how hard it is
to think when you're terrified?
56
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,264
Boy, you don't even
want to do that.
He's right.
57
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,732
$12? That's all
y'all got in there?
58
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,267
Doc just went to the bank.
59
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:16,370
Next time, y'all better have
more than $12 in there.
60
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:17,438
I'm not playing, man.
61
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,407
He's not even finished
robbing me this time,
62
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,409
he's already planning
on the next time.
63
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,677
Give me that,
and you better not tell nobody
64
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,414
you just got robbed by Malvo.
65
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,917
I'm also not telling anybody
what I just did in my pants.
66
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,921
Captioning sponsored by
CBS Paramount
Network Television
67
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DOC:
I knew it,
I knew it!
68
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,387
I knew I shouldn't
have left it.
69
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,555
22 years.
70
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,657
I've never left
that register alone
71
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:10,891
with anybody else, yeah.
72
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,260
Since the store opened.
73
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,494
And the one day I do,
74
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,662
I get robbed.
75
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,464
I'm sorry, Doc.
I was gonna hit him
76
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,831
with the bamboo stick,
but he took it.
77
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,368
Chris, look, it's not
your fault. He had a gun.
78
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,836
I'd much rather you
get robbed than shot.
79
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,905
My pickled eggs.
80
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,341
He took my pickled eggs!
81
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,377
Now, who steals pickled eggs?
82
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,211
Can I talk to you
a minute, son?
83
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,449
Can you give me
a description of the guy?
84
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,984
Yeah. He's the kind of guy
that kills you
85
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,319
if you describe him
to the police.
86
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,420
What did he look like?
87
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,688
I was pretty scared.
88
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,423
I don't really remember much.
89
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:43,524
Do you remember anything?
90
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,758
What color clothing he had on?
91
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,993
Was he tall?
Short.
92
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:46,694
Thin?
Fat.
93
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,495
Dark?
Light.
94
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,662
Thanks.
95
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,332
If we get any leads,
we'll let you know.
96
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,467
Yeah, considering
I just described Mini Me.
97
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,404
You want me
to walk you home?
98
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,706
No, I'm okay.
99
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,612
Before people had TVs
in every room,
100
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,480
families had to watch
television
101
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,582
the old-fashioned way--
by taking turns.
102
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,518
(dance music plays,
announcer speaks)
103
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,520
(dance music plays,
announcer speaks)
104
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,387
Stop!
105
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,855
* Get down,
come on, get down... *
106
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,396
Mama, Drew keeps
changing the channel.
107
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,466
I told her I was gonna
let her watch it right after
108
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,634
I got the hockey scores.
109
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,502
Look, I don't care
what y'all are watching,
110
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,539
long as y'all are done when Sue
Simmons comes on Live at Five.
111
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,441
That all changed
when my father brought home
112
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,410
the greatest technological
innovation we had ever seen.
113
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,512
Hey, everybody.
Hey.
114
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,415
I got a surprise.
115
00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,683
A Betamax!
116
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,318
Didn't they stop making those?
117
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,520
They sure did. That's how
I got it for half off.
118
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,457
The only time my father ever
brought something new home
119
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,459
was when it was old
to everybody else.
120
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,427
I asked for a sewing machine.
121
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:56,464
What the hell is this?
122
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,865
A loom.
123
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,700
What is that?
124
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,034
JULIUS:
A stove.
125
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,703
Well, if that's a stove,
where's the witch?
126
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,004
I asked for a car.
127
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,639
What the hell is this?
128
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:06,640
A rickshaw.
129
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:07,808
That's Rick.
130
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,481
I wanted to tell my parents
that I got robbed,
131
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,048
but I didn't want them
to worry.
132
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,384
What's going on?
133
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,485
Dad got a Betamax.
134
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,587
Julius, what are we supposed
to do without the tapes?
135
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,089
I got a bunch
of blank tapes with it.
136
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,957
They were practically
giving it away.
137
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,959
Probably throwing
them away.
138
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,363
I'm gonna record
Billy Ocean videos.
139
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,098
And I'm going
to record Knight Rider.
140
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,299
And what are you going
to record, baby?
141
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:36,069
The 700 Club, so I can pray
not to get robbed again.
142
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,838
I don't know, maybe Rocky.
143
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,440
JULIUS:
Y'all can do
whatever y'all want
144
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,074
as long as
I can record my stories.
145
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,110
Now my father could catch up
on his sleep
146
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,478
and The Young
and the Restless.
147
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,514
Let me see a tape.
148
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,587
Hey, Chris,
149
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:56,056
I brought you some old movies
we had left over.
150
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,392
I've got Sharkey'sMachine
and Young Frankenstein.
151
00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,960
What's that?
It's a Mel Brooks movie.
152
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,562
It's hilarious.
153
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,564
Thanks.
No problem.
154
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,566
We were using them
as doorstops.
155
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:06,600
You okay?
156
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,737
Let me ask
you a question.
157
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,905
What would you do
if somebody robbed you,
158
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,675
and you could identify them,
but you were afraid to?
159
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,578
You got robbed?
160
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,779
At the store.
161
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,147
This guy named Malvo.
162
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,582
He scared me to death.
163
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,584
You know, there was
a similar situation
164
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,985
in Sharkey's Machine.
165
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,587
Burt Reynolds got ripped off,
166
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,056
but he didn't want
to go to the cops.
167
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:29,723
What did he do?
168
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,024
He killed all the bad guys.
169
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,726
Any other suggestions?
170
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,595
Why don't you just go
tell Doc who this guy is
171
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,763
and let him deal with it?
172
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,897
'Cause he'll kill me.
173
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,900
This guy is so bad,
he broke into prison.
174
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,603
Sorry man, I don't know
what to tell you.
175
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,706
Can you do me a favor?
What?
176
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,075
Please don't tell anybody that
you talked to me about this.
177
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,043
I don't want
the guy after me, too.
178
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,647
* Ooh, shake it up...
179
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,549
Hey, Bosco, I heard
you got a Betamax.
180
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,518
Yeah. So?
181
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,653
I've got a movie
for you, a comedy.
182
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,657
Birth of a Nation?
183
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,694
It's a classic.
Hilarious. You'll love it.
184
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,062
Couldn't be any worse
than Soul Plane.
185
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,531
Here we go.
186
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:11,832
That's four cameras.
187
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,634
Between that and
these stickers,
188
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,936
a thief will stop
and think twice.
189
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:19,139
It'd make Malvo stop and think
about stealing the cameras.
190
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,709
Now, come on, let's
finish up these sketches.
191
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,878
Yeah. So how did you learn
how to do this anyway?
192
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,515
I started painting
nude portraits to meet chicks.
193
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,716
Then...
194
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,918
:
...I got good at it.
195
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,186
A little darker
under the eyes.
196
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,656
Okay. Now, is that him?
197
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:36,890
Yeah, that's him.
198
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,959
Chris, that's Al Jarreau.
199
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,194
Now, come on now,
you got to focus.
200
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,597
Every time we do this,
it comes out different.
201
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,899
Now, first time,
this one look like...
202
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,870
Yeah, ain't that look like
Kareem Abdul
203
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,041
And that's George Jefferson.
204
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,043
And ain't that
Lionel Richie?
205
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,612
Come on, Chris.
206
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,648
Look, let's just
start over.
207
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,016
It was getting hard
to think of more people
208
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,986
that didn't look like Malvo,
so I thought maybe it was time
209
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,855
I just told Doc the truth.
210
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,623
Hey, Hey, Malvo!
Hey, Doc.
211
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,291
Uh.
212
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,793
They-They let
you out again?
213
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,629
Yeah. I got time off
for good behavior.
214
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,131
That's like letting the devil
out of hell.
215
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,667
DOC:
You keeping out
of trouble?
216
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,735
I'm trying to.
217
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,270
Man, I heard y'all got robbed.
218
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:27,975
Yeah, and that fool got $12
and my pickled eggs.
219
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,143
Now, who steals pickled eggs?
220
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,780
So, who's this?
221
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,615
DOC:
See, that's my
helper, Chris.
222
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,017
Hmm.
Chris, say
hi to Malvo.
223
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,151
Hi.
224
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,553
Hi.
225
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,221
Yeah, he was here
when it happened.
226
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,724
He's helping me out with
a sketch of the guy who did it.
227
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:44,758
Oh, yeah?
228
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,894
Chris saw
who did it, huh?
229
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,096
Let me see that.
230
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,932
Here, this is the latest.
231
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,002
Ain't this Al Jarreau?
232
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,770
I know his record sales is down,
233
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,806
but I don't think
he'd be robbing no store.
234
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,841
I didn't really get
a good look at the guy.
235
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,710
You must have been
scared, huh?
236
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,645
Yeah, you can say that again.
237
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,715
Well, I'll let y'all know
if I hear anything,
238
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,783
'cause, you know,
I'm in them streets.
239
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,685
Yeah, but you
240
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,654
No, Doc.
I like them cameras, man.
241
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,322
They work?
242
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,124
Yeah.
243
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,659
Well, I'll see you later, Chris.
244
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,928
DOC:
Yeah, I got 'em hooked up.
245
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,196
Got four here,
and, uh...
246
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,166
and we're thinking about
putting two in the...
247
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,736
I wish Burt Reynolds was here.
248
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,809
While I was hoping
I'd never see Malvo again,
249
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,110
my father couldn't wait to see
250
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,712
The Young and the Restless
again.
251
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,013
Here we go.
252
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,082
TV ANNOUNCER:
Stay tuned for
The Young and The Restless.
253
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,687
What
254
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,990
Who recorded cartoons over my
Young and the Restless?
255
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,826
I bought a Betamax
so everybody could enjoy it.
256
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,028
I said you can tape
anything you want,
257
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:58,699
all I want is one thing--
tape my stories.
258
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,167
That's all.
259
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,135
And I don't even get that?
260
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:05,873
From now on, if the red light
is on that Betamax,
261
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:06,940
don't you touch it.
262
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,676
You hear me?
263
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,010
Yes, Daddy.
264
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,058
Uh-oh.
265
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,660
What?
266
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:29,697
:
I'm just trying
to tape my stories.
267
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,764
Blah, blah, blah.
268
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,199
Julius, she's 11.
269
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,400
She made a mistake.
270
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,836
So, what
271
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,737
You get mad all the time.
272
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,272
Exactly,
but everybody is used to it.
273
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,308
If I did half the things
I threatened to do,
274
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,844
don't you think I would've been
in jail a long time ago?
275
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,045
What are you in for?
276
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:48,048
Knocking my kid's nostrils off.
277
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,850
You need to apologize.
278
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,785
For what?
I didn't tape over her show.
279
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,821
You are acting like a child.
280
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,255
I am not.
Are, too.
281
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,323
Am not.
You are, too.
282
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,859
You can't jump to her defense
when she's wrong.
283
00:10:58,892 --> 00:10:59,993
If she was right,
I'd understand.
284
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,796
:
Julius, that is not
what I'm trying to say.
285
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,765
Then what are you trying to say?
286
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,234
Well, if you don't know,
then forget it.
287
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,703
Whoa, whoa, wait...
you-you can't be mad.
288
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,904
I'm supposed to be mad.
289
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,806
Rochelle.
290
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,107
No...
Mama wins again.
291
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,009
CHRIS:
No.
292
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,311
No.
293
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,347
Anybody?
No.
294
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,315
I couldn't pick out a mug shot
295
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,351
because I didn't want
to get shot.
296
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,418
We'll do another canvas.
297
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:26,854
I'll let you know
if we find anything.
298
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,890
No, they won't.
299
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,324
Chris...
300
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,827
Chris, stop sweeping.
301
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,830
We need to talk
right now.
302
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,298
What's wrong?
303
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,968
We went through a whole mug shot
book with that officer,
304
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:44,004
and you couldn't find anybody
who even looked like the guy.
305
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,840
Maybe he's not in the book.
306
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,975
Would you tell
me if he was?
307
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,877
Yeah.
308
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,879
Chris, are you lying to me?
309
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,848
No. Why would I need to lie?
310
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:55,949
I don't know.
311
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,517
But every time
I ask you a question,
312
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,220
you're looking east and west
like you're waiting for a train.
313
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,823
Now, Chris, if
you're in trouble,
314
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,258
it's okay to
ask for help.
315
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,094
I'm not in trouble.
316
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,830
Then can you look me in the eye
317
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:13,000
and tell me you don't know
who robbed my store?
318
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:16,837
If I lied again,
Doc would never trust me.
319
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,071
No.
320
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,941
Okay.
321
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,442
It's okay?
322
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,811
No.
323
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,146
You're fired, Chris.
324
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,981
The truth shall set you free
all right...
325
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:31,819
free to find another job.
326
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,254
:
I got fired.
327
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,824
Why, 'cause
you got robbed?
328
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,391
'Cause I didn't tell
who robbed me.
329
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,960
Well, who robbed you?
330
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,161
I'm not gonna tell.
331
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,996
Oh...
332
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,065
Man, you lost your job.
333
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,267
Wait till Dad finds out.
334
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,270
All he's been doing lately
is bragging about you working.
335
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,139
I mean, he was so happy.
336
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,974
He's going to be sad now.
337
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,576
I'll bet he was telling
everybody at his job
338
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,311
how proud he was of you.
339
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,313
He's going
to be so embarrassed.
340
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,883
He'll never be able
to live that down.
341
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,018
I mean, you lost
your first job.
342
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,887
I mean,
I can't believe it.
343
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,022
Just glad it wasn't me.
344
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:12,059
Thank you. A lot.
345
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,426
It wasn't going to be easy
346
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,562
telling my father
I'd lost my first job.
347
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,398
He was still working
on the first job he ever had.
348
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,304
Thanks, Julius.
349
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,107
See you later, Miss Wilson.
350
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,575
Hey, Dad.
351
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,943
My man.
352
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,011
How's work going?
353
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,413
Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
354
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,983
You know I proud of you
for keeping that job, son.
355
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:39,086
It took a lot of courage for you
to walk back in that store.
356
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,153
Thanks.
357
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,455
Do they sell Soap Opera Digest
at your job?
358
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,957
Yeah.
359
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,558
When you go to work tomorrow,
pick me up a copy.
360
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:50,030
Is there something else
you wanted to talk to me about?
361
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,966
Oh, no, it's all right.
Forget about it.
362
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,968
Okay.
My father being proud of me
363
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:59,372
meant more than anything,
except being shot by Malvo.
364
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:06,013
I figured it'd be easier
to take a beating from Mavlo
365
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,015
than to tell my dad
I'd lost my job.
366
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,617
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
367
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,486
I don't know if you
can, but you may.
368
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,191
While in prison, Malvo got a
PhD in Comparative Literature.
369
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,328
I-I was wondering
if you could,
370
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,131
just, you know, out of
the kindness of your heart,
371
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,400
return the stuff
that you stole from Doc's?
372
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,575
He laughed like
he was watching The Jeffersons,
373
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,045
with the original Lionel.
374
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,348
Forget it.
375
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,615
No, no, wait, kid.
376
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,184
Wait, wait, come here.
377
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,252
Man, you funny, man.
378
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:48,121
You-you should be a comedian
when you grow up, kid.
379
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,256
That was funny, man.
380
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,024
Get over here, boy.
381
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,660
Man, what are you doing?!
382
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,128
You got a wire on, boy?
383
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,596
A what? No.
384
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,098
My bad, man.
385
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,233
Look-look, man,
let-let me explain
386
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,036
some basic economic
theory to you, all right?
387
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:06,106
In life, there are
people who make things,
388
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:09,009
and then there are other
people who take things.
389
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,277
I would be a taker.
390
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,480
But, I also can be a breaker.
391
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,115
But never, ever a faker.
392
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,449
You follow me?
393
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,085
Not really.
394
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,653
Okay, well, let me explain
another economic theory:
395
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:23,190
the stuff that I stole is mine.
396
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,258
Beat it.
397
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,496
But you funny though, kid.
398
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,199
You funny.
399
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,235
Give it back.
400
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,670
Back at home, my father
was done being mad at Tonya,
401
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,107
but she had just started
getting mad at him.
402
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,408
You want
some ice cream?
403
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,210
No.
404
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,145
You want some
ice cream, baby?
405
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,613
Yes, Mama.
406
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,149
My father knew he had
to do something
407
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,283
or this would go on forever.
408
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:53,987
Tonya, can you plug in my heart?
409
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,056
No. And if you axe me again,
410
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,391
I'm gonna turn off
your stories.
411
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,161
You smell ice cream?
412
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,703
Baby?
413
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,072
Say you're sorry.
414
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,574
What for?
I didn't do nothing to her.
415
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,411
It's not what you did,
it's how you did it.
416
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,181
Julius, since day one,
she's been your little princess,
417
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,116
and all of a sudden
you're screaming at her?
418
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,085
I didn't scream.
419
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,153
Julius, as big as you are--
420
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,121
you weren't even talking to me
and I was scared.
421
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,457
The one thing I learned about
women from my father is,
422
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,992
even when you're right,
you're wrong.
423
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,066
Uh, Doc?
424
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,201
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
425
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:45,305
I don't know if you can,
but you may.
426
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,607
I'm sorry for not telling you
who robbed the store.
427
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,776
I was scared.
428
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,278
And you're not scared now?
429
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,479
I want my job back.
430
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,314
So who was it then?
431
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,349
It was Malvo.
432
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,151
Malvo?
Man, would you be quiet?
433
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,552
Come inside, boy.
434
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,787
Now why didn't you say so?
435
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,255
Because he showed
his gun to me
436
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,523
and he threatened
to kill me.
437
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,557
Exactly my point.
438
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,361
That Malvo is crazier
than three dogs with rabies.
439
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,831
Don't worry, you can
have your job back.
440
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,300
What are you doing?
441
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,802
I'm calling the police.
442
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,775
Tonya?
443
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,321
Listen...
444
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,190
the other day, I didn't
mean to holler at you.
445
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,326
I was upset.
446
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,594
I was looking forward
to seeing my stories.
447
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,396
I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings,
448
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,599
but my feelings
were hurt, too.
449
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,236
I didn't mean to do it.
450
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,171
I didn't mean to yell at you.
451
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,539
I didn't mean to do
a lot of things,
452
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,806
but that never
stopped my father
453
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,475
from smacking me
upside the head.
454
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:56,809
I'm sorry.
455
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,178
Me, too.
456
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,717
Why do you watch soap operas
anyway?
457
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,385
What?
458
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,387
Isn't daytime TV for women?
459
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,190
Um...
460
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,658
We'll talk about that
another time.
461
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,325
All right?
462
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,693
Okay.
463
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,233
Since there were no witnesses
to the crime,
464
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,635
the only way to catch Malvo
was to catch him in the act.
465
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,337
You ready?
466
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,173
Um, I don't
know about this.
467
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,374
Listen, look,
don't worry about nothing.
468
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,441
I'll be right here.
469
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,377
If he tries anything,
470
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,745
hit him with this bag
of quarters.
471
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,557
Yo, Chris.
472
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,526
Doc go to the bank again?
473
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,828
No, he doesn't go
till tomorrow.
474
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,265
Is he here?
475
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,666
CHRIS:
No.
476
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:54,701
So...
477
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,769
the money is here and he gone?
478
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,704
Right.
479
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:01,774
Then you need to give up
the money to Malvo.
480
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,647
Freeze!
481
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,848
Don't move.
482
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,584
You set me up, boy.
483
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,953
(sirens wailing,
tires screeching)
484
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,291
Hold it right there.
485
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,498
That's right,
I'm the bad guy.
486
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,302
Man, you didn't
even have a real gun?
487
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,405
It's hard to rob a gun store,
man, they got guns.
488
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,274
MALVO:
It's a catch-22 for Malvo.
489
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,742
OFFICER:
Read him his rights.
490
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,713
Hey, where you going
with my quarters?
491
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,315
It's evidence, now.
492
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,616
Stand back, sir.
493
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,319
Doc never did get
his quarters back.
494
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,455
Later that year,
the Bed-Stuy police department
495
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,257
won a video game tournament.
496
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,329
We're number one!
497
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,898
Oh, thanks, Chris.
498
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,233
You know, you did a good job.
499
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,668
No problem.
500
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,371
Being scared cost me my job,
my father's admiration
501
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:07,006
and that was too high
of a price for me.
502
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,841
So, I learned
right then and there
503
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,310
that when you're in trouble,
504
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,245
don't be afraid
to ask for help.
505
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,346
Chris.
506
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,414
When I get out,
507
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,948
I'm coming after you.
508
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,551
Y-O-O.
509
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:23,290
:
Help...!
510
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:26,293
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