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00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:02,370
Everybody Hates Chris #026
"Everybody Hates a Liar"
Closed Captioned
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00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,637
(Berlin's "No More Words"
playing)
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00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,340
CHRIS ROCK:
Tasha Clarkson was the new
girl next door.
4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,542
Unlike just about every other
girl in the neighborhood,
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,743
she didn't hate me.
6
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:10,744
Hi, Chris.
Hey, Tasha.
7
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,547
I always tried to play it
cool around her,
8
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,249
but every time she came
out the door,
9
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,517
it looked like this...
10
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,091
But Tasha's grandmother was one
of the strictest parents
11
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,625
on the block.
12
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:27,561
Where you going
dressed like that?
13
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:30,098
Grandma, I have on
everything but gloves.
14
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,599
Put some gloves on.
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,635
Showing your hands to people.
16
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,770
And it was 79 degrees.
17
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,739
So I figured the smartest
thing to do
18
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,175
was to just leave Tasha alone.
19
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,646
Chris, come quick. I need you.
20
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,715
So much for that plan.
21
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,752
Do you see it?!
Chris, do you see it?!
22
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,787
Oh, yeah, I see it.
23
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,657
But what do you want
me to do with it?
24
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,329
Get it out!
25
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,764
Get it out of my closet!
Okay, okay, okay.
Stop screaming please.
26
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,299
Stop, stop...
27
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,368
She's screaming like
the mouse had a gun.
28
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,416
Thank you.
29
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,418
No problem.
30
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,255
To you, that just looked
like a kiss on the cheek,
31
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,657
but to me it felt
like this...
32
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,664
Yo.
33
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,566
Little dude from
across the street.
34
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,269
Come here.
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00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,671
Listen, man, I don't
have any money.
36
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,206
I don't want your money,
little dude.
37
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,840
I want to know how
you got Tasha.
38
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,609
Got Tasha what?
39
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,878
Come on, little dude.
I saw that.
40
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,714
Every little dude on the block
been trying to get next to her.
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00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,683
Little dude from up
on the third floor,
42
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,518
little dude from
around the corner,
43
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,520
little dude with
the funny leg,
44
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,522
little dude with
the little loft,
45
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,558
little dude that be
with big dude... and Kenny.
46
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,527
Now I know why
they can't get nowhere.
47
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,863
'Cause little dude from across
the street is on the case.
48
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,565
Now why you ain't
tell nobody?
49
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,733
Hey, well, you know.
50
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,702
That's what you said when you
didn't want to lie,
51
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,936
but you didn't want
to tell the truth.
52
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,306
I underestimated
you, little dude.
53
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,773
I ain't think you
had it in you.
54
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,643
Tasha. Mean as her
grandmom is.
55
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,246
You a bad man,
little dude.
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00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,447
Just do me a favor.
57
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,615
Don't tell anybody?
58
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,483
It's between me and you.
59
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,220
:
Little dude from
across the street.
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00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,721
Mackin'.
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00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,290
I should have told him the
truth that nothing happened,
62
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,925
but, hey, well, you know.
63
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,968
* Oh... make it funky now!
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00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,972
Captioning sponsored by
CBS Paramount
Network Television
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00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,827
CHRIS:
My father never spent money
on himself.
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00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,797
So to get the things he liked,
he used trading stamps.
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00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,767
These weren't the kind of
stamps you put on an envelope.
68
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,802
They were the kind of stamps
you put in books
69
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,705
and could redeem for stuff
that you'd never buy with cash.
70
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,873
Like a bumper pool table...
71
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,875
Oh, yes!
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00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,445
...electro energy ball...
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00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,946
My father wished he could use
trading stamps
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00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,947
to pay for everything.
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00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,383
He needs
a new heart.
76
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,950
Is it in the catalog?
77
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,586
85,000 stamps.
78
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,920
Get that boy
into surgery.
79
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,691
Do they still have that
golden boomerang?
80
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,459
We ain't getting no
golden boomerang.
81
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,894
We getting a new
refrigerator.
82
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,596
What's wrong with
the refrigerator?
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00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,298
The thermostat
is broken.
84
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,266
The freezer's too cold,
the refrigerator's too hot.
85
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,034
It melted the ice cream
and froze the cheese.
86
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,270
I thought we were going
to get something fun.
87
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:57,871
Eating ain't fun?
Try not eating.
88
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,906
Whatever we get...
89
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,008
A new refrigerator.
90
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,543
...we're gonna have
to do it soon.
91
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,844
The paper said the catalog
store's closing.
92
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,514
We got to redeem all these
by the weekend.
93
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,816
If I have any stamps left,
I'm going to get this.
94
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,284
What?
95
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,052
An electric
ping
96
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,987
It keeps score
automatically.
97
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,257
Now you know you're too big
to be playing ping-pong.
98
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,301
Can we use the sponge instead?
99
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,036
You know how much
a sponge costs?
100
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,804
Less than a new tongue.
101
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:36,076
Oh, that's one cent
worth of stamp.
102
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,778
Chris, give me the tape.
103
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,548
What my father didn't realize
was that I had to use
104
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,417
two cents worth of tape to
repair one cent worth of stamp.
105
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,886
Hey, Mom, you want to watch
The Ropers with me?
106
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:47,888
Oh, no, baby, I'm tired.
107
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,958
I've been working all day,
108
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,560
and after I finish
helping Tonya
109
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,428
I got to go
fold clothes.
110
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:55,529
Oh, okay.
111
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:56,897
I'll watch it with you.
112
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,198
No, thanks.
113
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,501
The only thing Drew liked more
than watching The Ropers
114
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:04,004
was watching The Ropers
with my mother.
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00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,574
I hadn't said that anything
really happened
116
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,908
between me and Tasha,
117
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,943
but not saying anything
was almost worse.
118
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,614
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Tasha.
119
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,915
Hey, Tasha,
how you doing?
120
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:16,950
Man, you better
leave her alone.
121
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,051
Isn't that right,
little dude?
122
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,853
Hey, well, you know.
123
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,955
I know.
124
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,792
I wasn't saying a word
about me and Tasha,
125
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,794
and yet, it was all over
Bed-Stuy.
126
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,996
Girl, little Tasha
who just moved in?
127
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,498
That's right.
128
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,732
You know what else
I heard?
129
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,367
I heard she and Chris
were right outside
130
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,635
on the street kissing.
131
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,869
Ooh, girl, was it
tongue kissing?
132
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,004
Right down
to the throat.
133
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,706
Ooh, I didn't know
she was like that.
134
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:39,840
You wasn't supposed to know.
Hmm.
135
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,710
Not only Chris have Tasha,
but he got three other women.
136
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:43,944
Hey, ain't nothing
wrong with that.
137
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,547
The Good Book says
"Be fruitful and prosper."
138
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,548
Yes, Lord.
139
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,849
Got any ashes
in this?
140
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,050
No.
141
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,986
Man, I heard Tasha caught
Chris cheating
142
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,622
with Valerie Simpson.
143
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,924
Nick Ashford
gonna kill him.
144
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,159
Hiyeh...
145
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,529
Notice how Nick Ashford
and Verdine White
146
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,630
look just alike?
147
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,932
Verdine White from
the liquor store,
148
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,034
or Verdine White from
Earth, Wind and Fire?
149
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:10,170
It's the same guy.
150
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,005
What?
151
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,206
The story was taking off,
152
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,109
and for the first time
I was trying to play it down.
153
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,478
You kissed Tasha?
154
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,447
Well, technically,
she kissed me.
155
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,881
And it wasn't
a "kiss" kiss.
156
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,716
She just kissed me
on the cheek.
157
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,485
Which cheek?
This one.
158
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,753
When did all
this happen?
159
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,621
Yesterday.
She was scared
of a mouse
160
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,957
and I went in
to go get it for her.
161
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,224
Then she gave me
a quick peck.
162
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,562
I was saying that, but I knew
Greg was thinking this...
163
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,100
Wow, you are in there.
164
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,069
Hey, well, you know.
165
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,837
No, I really
don't know.
166
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,673
Greg didn't even have
a vicarious thrill
167
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,074
till he was 22.
168
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,176
Just do me a favor--
don't tell anybody.
169
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,711
Who would I tell?
170
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,946
He would tell everybody.
171
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,748
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Chris.
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00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,450
And I mean everybody.
173
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,085
BOTH:
Hi, Chris.
174
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,721
Even Caruso gave me
some respect.
175
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,557
Hey, Lakeside, I didn't
know you had it in you.
176
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:06,527
Well, aren't you just
a little Sweet Sweetback.
177
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,061
Hey, well, you know.
178
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,097
Who knew that the secret
for a guy getting girls
179
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,965
is for a guy to get a girl?
180
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,805
While I was getting more
attention than I could handle,
181
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,239
Drew wasn't getting
any at all.
182
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,475
Hey, Mom, could you help
me with my homework?
183
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:22,876
Oh, baby, I'm tired.
184
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,712
I got to sort clothes
and do laundry.
185
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,781
Can't Chris help you
when he gets home?
186
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,750
I guess.
187
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,453
Drew hadn't looked that sad
since E.T. went home.
188
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,824
What?
189
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,225
Okay, what?
190
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,961
I'm just trying
to figure you out.
191
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,129
Here I'm thinking,
192
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,964
your middle name
is "Mr. Lonely."
193
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,800
Come to find out
it's "Lady
194
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,901
I'm not a lady-killer.
195
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,603
Yeah, I wasn't either.
That's how come
196
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,271
I got divorced
as many times as I did.
197
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,607
Look, when
your time comes,
198
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,709
get you a pre-nup.
199
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:56,977
I don't have anything.
200
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,078
Well, they'll
take that, too.
201
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,713
You got that right.
202
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,715
Hi, Chris.
203
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,216
How you doing?
204
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,985
Who are you?
205
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,187
Diedre, but you can
call me Dee-Dee.
206
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,856
This is Shavonda.
207
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,025
What's this?
208
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,260
My phone number.
209
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,962
So I can call you?
210
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,063
Yeah.
211
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,230
You know, I heard about
212
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,632
you and Tasha.
213
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,933
Hey, well, you know.
214
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:22,870
Hey, well, you know what?
215
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,838
Hi, Tasha.
216
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,006
Don't "Hi, Tasha" me.
217
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,542
Hey, well, you know what?
218
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,143
What were you gonna
say about me, Chris?
219
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,747
You have something to say,
say it to my face.
220
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,216
I want my mama!
221
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,721
The only person who hadn't
heard about me and Tasha
222
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,922
was my mother.
223
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,223
But that was about to change.
224
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,125
Hello, Louise.
How you doing?
225
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,027
You keep
226
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,162
your nasty little
nappy-headed son
227
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,832
away from my granddaughter.
228
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,166
That's how I'm doing.
229
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,135
That look means all seven
of the words
230
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,403
you can't say on television.
231
00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,240
Because this is a family show,
all she can say is this...
232
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,642
Excuse me?
233
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,244
Let me slow
it down for you.
234
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,313
Keep...
235
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:10,651
your nasty little
nappy-headed son...
236
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,186
away... from my granddaughter.
237
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,023
Okay, Louise, first of all,
238
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,826
I don't know what
you're talking about.
239
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,194
Second of all, I suggest
you watch your tone.
240
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,998
I suggest you watch your son.
241
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:30,671
Louise, I'm going to assume that
you have not lost your mind.
242
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,972
All right.
243
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,141
There's less anger
in the Middle East.
244
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,945
So exactly what is it
that you're talking about?
245
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:41,949
Your son was in my house
246
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,251
with my granddaughter
247
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,353
when I wasn't home.
248
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,222
And then went around
the neighborhood
249
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,993
and talked about her like
she was some kind of tramp.
250
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,227
Chris?
251
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,864
No, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
252
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,299
Yes, Chris.
253
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:03,370
I don't know how he wormed
himself into my house,
254
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,205
but I'll tell you this--
255
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,641
if it happens again,
256
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,679
there's going to be a problem.
257
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:15,215
"Problem" is a polite word
for "ass-kicking."
258
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,287
ROCHELLE:
Chris!
259
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,855
CHRIS:
Uh-oh.
260
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,793
Why is Miss Clarkson
talking about...?
261
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,394
Boy, turn around
before I smack a face
262
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,362
onto the back of your head.
263
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,264
Why is
264
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,700
Miss Clarkson talking
about you
265
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,768
in her house with Tasha,
and it's all
266
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,269
over the neighborhood?
267
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,171
I do not appreciate
the whole neighborhood
268
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,707
knowing something
about my child,
269
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,341
and I'm the last to find out.
270
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,678
My mother hated being the last
to find out about anything.
271
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,718
ALL:
Surprise!
272
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,353
Why am I the last to know?
273
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,723
Congratulations.
You're pregnant.
274
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,157
That's great!
275
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,961
Pregnant?! Why am
I the last to know?
276
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,029
What's going on?
277
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,263
That's what
I'm trying to find out.
278
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,766
Miss Clarkson said that Chris
was in her house with Tasha.
279
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,367
Doing what?
CHRIS:
Nothing.
280
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,002
She asked me to come over
because there
281
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,304
was a mouse in her closet.
I got rid of it,
282
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,041
and then we went
right back outside.
Getting rid of a mouse?
283
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,275
Is that what
they're calling it nowadays?
284
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,310
Are you an exterminator?
If you are,
285
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,311
let me see your paycheck.
286
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,379
No.
287
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,914
Chris, I don't care
288
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,449
if you were
over somebody's house
289
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,886
getting rid of a mouse,
a spider, a roach, a tiger...
290
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,354
I was just trying to help.
291
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,856
Chris, please tell me.
292
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,123
Is that all
that really happened?
293
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,826
'Cause Miss Clarkson seems to
think that you were doing more
294
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,361
than just getting rid
of a mouse, boy.
295
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:39,499
Well, after we went outside,
she gave me a kiss on the cheek,
296
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,334
and Jerome saw and,
next thing I know,
297
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,369
it's all over the neighborhood.
298
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,905
And you had nothing
to do with spreading that?
299
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,475
Hey, well, you know.
300
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,210
"Hey, well, you know"?
301
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,912
Well, what is that
supposed to mean?
302
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:57,184
Rochelle,
Chris and I need to talk
303
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,452
for a minute.
304
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,955
You putting me out?
305
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,456
We need to have
a man-to-man talk.
306
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,393
Okay, fine.
307
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,494
Julius, the next
time somebody comes
308
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,062
to this house with a problem,
309
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,331
I'm gonna send them directly
to you. Is that okay?
310
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,399
Huh?
311
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,301
All right.
312
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,779
Sit down.
313
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,984
Chris, if you're leading
people to believe
314
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,953
you did something
with that girl you didn't do,
315
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,354
then you need to fix it.
316
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,989
But I never said
we did anything.
317
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,458
Let me tell you
how to treat women, son.
318
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,960
If you do something,
319
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,195
you should never say anything.
320
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,497
If you don't do something,
and you don't say anything,
321
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,999
that means you did something
322
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,035
even if you
did nothing.
323
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,438
So, by not saying anything,
you're doing something,
324
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,441
and you need to say something
and let people know
325
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,409
you did nothing.
You understand?
326
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,078
No.
327
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,546
Yeah.
328
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,448
All right.
329
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,283
Hey, Tasha, wait up!
330
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,921
What?
I just wanted
to tell you
that I was sorry.
331
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,890
Why would you say
all those things about me?
332
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,559
I just moved in and,
all of a sudden,
I have a reputation.
333
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,261
I didn't say
anything, for real.
334
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,164
Well, somebody
said something,
and it wasn't me.
335
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,938
Yo, little dude.
Your old lady
mad at you, huh?
336
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,540
She's not my old lady.
337
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,509
What
338
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,544
Yeah, well...
339
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,247
I know. I know.
340
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,451
Hey, Mom, can you help me
make some Kool
341
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,487
Aw, Drew, I'm trying
to rest for 20 minutes
342
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,589
before I have
to cook dinner.
343
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,926
Here. You know how
to make Kool-Aid.
344
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,396
Never mind. Forget it.
345
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,967
What's wrong with him?
346
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:57,037
I don't know,
but I'm about
to find out.
347
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,906
We got any Kool
348
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:07,915
Mm-hmm.
349
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,150
My mother had to find out
what was up
350
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,352
before she had
to smack Drew down.
351
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:28,268
Something you
want to talk about?
352
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,471
Why do you
pay more attention
353
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,373
to Chris and Tonya
than you do me?
354
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:38,078
I don't do it
on purpose, baby.
355
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,580
Well, then, how come
every time I ask you
to do something,
356
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,615
you always make me
do it by myself?
357
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,617
* The closer I get to you...
358
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,254
Well, because you've
always been able
359
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,922
to do things on your own.
360
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,058
Doesn't mean
I love you any less.
361
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,927
Sometimes
it feels like it.
362
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,396
Oh, don't say that, Drew.
363
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,564
I'm proud of you.
364
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,667
* By giving me
all you've got... *
365
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,004
I guess I don't see you
as being my baby anymore.
366
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,605
You don't?
367
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,540
Uh-uh.
368
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,945
I look at you as a young man,
because you're so independent.
369
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,114
I'm independent?
370
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,582
Yeah.
371
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,484
And you're funny.
372
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,651
You're handsome.
373
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,920
Oh, cool.
374
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:25,058
So you going to be okay?
375
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,961
Yeah.
376
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,263
I'm sorry, Drew.
377
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,065
I love you.
378
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,666
I love you, too.
379
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,203
Good. Come on, let's
make some Kool-Aid.
380
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,505
Oh, and another thing.
381
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,673
If you ever walk away
from me like that again,
382
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:45,045
you going to need a wheelchair
to bring you back. Okay?
383
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,581
Meanwhile, I had girl trouble
without having a girl.
384
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,717
Hey, Tasha. Can I talk
to you for a second?
385
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,152
No.
386
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,520
Hey, why you acting
all stuck
387
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,687
I know Chris is cool
and everything,
388
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,688
but you're too good for me?
389
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,724
CHRIS:
Tasha!
390
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,563
I want everyone
to listen to me!
391
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,232
Tasha is
392
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,434
not my girlfriend.
393
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,601
She never was.
394
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,737
I know everybody
thinks that something
395
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,673
was going on between us,
but nothing happened.
396
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:18,645
And not nothing something.
Nothing nothing.
397
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,614
Tasha's a nice girl.
398
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,416
She's not like that.
399
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,252
I got rid of a mouse for her.
400
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,721
Then she gave me a kiss on
the cheek and a hug. That's it.
401
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:33,126
Tasha, I'm sorry.
402
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,528
Now, would you all
403
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,331
quit talking about this?
404
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,168
Because there is nothing
to talk about.
405
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,503
I wish there was
something to talk about.
406
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,338
But there's not.
407
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:46,706
Okay?
408
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:51,744
* Girl, don't take
your love from me... *
409
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,647
Get off of my car, fool!
410
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,484
How did he know my nickname?
411
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,619
I can't believe you
made the whole thing up.
412
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,221
I didn't make
anything up.
413
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,423
Everyone else did.
What do you expect
people to think
414
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,524
with you running
around saying,
415
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,759
"Yeah, well, you know"
to everything?
416
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,728
That's why
I had to stop it.
417
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,630
I thought you
were so in there.
418
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,964
Everybody did.
419
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:14,701
Listen, just don't say anything
to anybody. I want this to die.
420
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,769
I won't say a word.
421
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,472
This is going to stay
between you and me.
422
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,640
All right.
423
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,175
Just like before.
424
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,176
Hey.
425
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,544
BOTH:
Ew!
426
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,281
How you guys doing?
427
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,682
Shut up!
Shut up!
428
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,454
You blew it,
cornbread.
429
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,789
Some Sweetback
you are.
430
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,593
I wasn't the only one
looking for redemption.
431
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,295
Back at the catalog store,
432
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,264
my father was taking
his sweet stamps back.
433
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,832
I'm here to
redeem my stamps.
434
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,866
What would you like?
435
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,868
The olive green refrigerator.
436
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,437
We're out of those.
437
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,304
You have one in yellow?
438
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,573
No. We're out
of the refrigerators.
439
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,807
Well, what
about the stove?
440
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:55,775
Gone.
441
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,644
The sofa?
Uh-uh.
442
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,679
Washing machine?
Nope.
443
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,714
Electric ping
Nada.
444
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,782
Mini
Zilch.
445
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,184
The golden boomerang?
The bishop
446
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,818
just walked out
with the last one.
447
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,187
Hello.
448
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,356
So what do you have?
449
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:13,593
Well, we got this.
450
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:17,096
Oh, cool. Nice.
451
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,799
This is a nice canoe.
452
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,535
100,000 more stamps
and we could get a river.
453
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,209
Julius, where you plan
on putting this canoe?
454
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,379
I don't know. Somewhere.
455
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:40,853
Where's the canoe?
456
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,555
How did they untie it?
457
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,891
When did they take it?
458
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,794
They wouldn't have
taken a refrigerator.
459
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,862
The next week, that's exactly
460
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,898
how they stole
our new refrigerator.
461
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,767
That's 4,652 books
worth of stamps!
462
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,303
The word back on the block
463
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,738
was that Tasha and I
had never done a thing,
464
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,373
but sometimes you have
to hear things
465
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,508
from the horse's mouth.
466
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,509
Miss Clarkson?
467
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:06,279
What do you want
with your little mannish behind?
468
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,348
I wanted to apologize.
469
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,518
What exactly is it
that you're apologizing for?
470
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,820
Well, first, to Tasha
for letting all those people
471
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,087
believe all that stuff
about her.
472
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:19,326
And to you for going into your
house without your permission.
473
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,461
Did your mother
send you over here to do that?
474
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,462
Because, if she did...
475
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,730
She didn't.
476
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,234
You're not fooling anybody.
477
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,868
I know you.
478
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,537
I don't know what you do
479
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,871
with these little fast girls
around here,
480
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,840
but you're not going
to do that with Tasha.
481
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,245
Miss Clarkson missed me
when Tasha started
482
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,280
dating Bobby Brown.
483
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,718
Chris?
484
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,322
Thank you.
485
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,230
Hey! Little dude
from across the street.
486
00:19:57,264 --> 00:20:00,267
Man, that's too bad
what happened with
you and Tasha.
487
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,269
I told you,
nothing happened
with me and Tasha.
488
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,771
Yeah, I know.
Let me hold a dollar.
489
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,906
They say the truth
will set you free,
490
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,775
but in my case
it cost a dollar.
491
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,877
At least I still had
Dee Dee's phone number.
492
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,412
Give me back
my phone number!
493
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,514
You better not
have it memorized.
494
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:23,256
* Everybody hates Chris.
495
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:26,459
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