All language subtitles for Abbott Elementary 4x17 - Karaoke

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,670 {\an8}Thank you all for participating in this personality potluck. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,714 {\an8}- Especially you, Gregory. - You're welcome. 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:09,509 All right, so now we are going to work together as a team 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:13,679 to match each person to the dish they brought to represent their personality. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,474 Gregory, Barbara, Jacob, Janine, me, obviously. 6 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,601 - Great, let's eat. - Whoa, hold on now. 7 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,019 You forgot one. 8 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,270 Ah. 9 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,772 Oh. Is this Ava? 10 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,525 Why would I cook for y'all? One of you a man that bought me a house? 11 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,152 Well, who does this croquembouche belong to? 12 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,405 Nah. 13 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,407 - Yeah. - Oh. 14 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,535 All right, Mr. Johnson, but how does this represent you? 15 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,246 Obviously, it's because he's... because he's bald. 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,413 Oh. 17 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,999 Actually, I studied Pastry Arts in Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. 18 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,543 - Whoa. - Well, I'll be. 19 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,253 Ooh-la-la. 20 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:48,130 Damn, I can't believe I actually did learn something about somebody. 21 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,091 {\an8}- Yeah. - This is a beautiful moment. 22 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,676 {\an8}- Yeah. - Okay, this is cuckoo, 23 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,220 but should we all bring it in? 24 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,429 - Ah, let's do it. - Come on. Yeah. 25 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,057 - Come on. - Yes. 26 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,268 Come here. 27 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,603 Yeah. 28 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,481 I never went to no damn French cooking school. 29 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,871 - Attention, everyone. - Attention, everyone. 30 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,665 - Barbara needs your attention. - Thank you. 31 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,209 I need a final head count for karaoke. 32 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,294 {\an8}I'll be there. 33 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,754 {\an8}I like big butts, but someone out there thinks I'm lying about it, 34 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,172 {\an8}and I gotta set the record straight. 35 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:33,342 {\an8}Is it okay if I come late? I can't miss out on Friday night surge pricing. 36 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,053 {\an8}You know, if I got into a rideshare and you were the driver, 37 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,847 {\an8}well, brother, I'd never get out. 38 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,390 {\an8}I just hope you don't miss our duet 39 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,017 {\an8}'cause I've been practicing my Ja Rule voice 40 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,101 {\an8} all week, baby. 41 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,187 {\an8}I'm not gonna miss out on the duet. And I'll put that on Murder Inc. 42 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,731 {\an8}I love that name. 43 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,941 {\an8}Well, I'm just excited to finally have a chance to be heard. 44 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,652 {\an8}You know, Zach used to turn my mic down during duets at home 45 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,071 {\an8}because he said my voice only worked in theory. 46 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,283 {\an8}Hey, Barbara, can I bring Erika to karaoke? 47 00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,286 {\an8}She's in need of a pick-me-up. She and Simon broke up again. 48 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,622 {\an8}I can't believe you're forcing your friend to throw it back on the district employee 49 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,416 {\an8}just so you can get back in their good graces. 50 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,793 {\an8}- That is not what I'm doing. - She's welcome to come, 51 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:12,089 {\an8}as long as she does not throw it back, forward or to the side. Mm-mmm. 52 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,966 {\an8}- She won't. - Ava, will you be joining us? 53 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,011 {\an8}I, the karaoke queen, will not be in attendance. 54 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,138 But before you fret, music joke... 55 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,349 ...it's because I have a date. 56 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,433 Ooh. 57 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,560 - Well, I hope he measures up. - Nice. 58 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,937 I'm sure he'll clear the bar. 59 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,397 Oh. 60 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,651 I bet... I hope he doesn't... I hope he hits all the right notes. 61 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:37,823 Now, Jacob, that was a bridge too far. 62 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,951 - Yes. Hey! - There it is. 63 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,120 There it is. Who's the date with? 64 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,247 {\an8}- Melissa, you don't know who it is? - Who? 65 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,166 {\an8}- It's O'Shon. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,959 Ooh. 67 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,712 Mm-hmm. Now that's a man. 68 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,797 Oh. 69 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:57,552 Yes, fine for no reason. Yes, he is. 70 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,639 - Wow. - Ooh. This fancy. 71 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,975 - Yeah. Look at this. Hey! - Mm-hmm. 72 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,060 Where you guys been? 73 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,646 I've already done every Fleetwood Mac song they've got. 74 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:11,482 {\an8}Fleetwood Mac? I don't think that's in your register, Mr. Johnson. 75 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,610 {\an8}Mm-mmm. Yeah, you're more of a Macy Gray kind of range. 76 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,070 {\an8}- Girl. - I'm gonna tell you two 77 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:18,364 {\an8}- just like I told Quincy Jones. - Uh-huh. 78 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,325 {\an8}Mr. Johnson sings or Mr. Johnson walks. 79 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,661 {\an8}- Okay. Let's do it. - All right. 80 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,914 {\an8}- They're here already. That's great. - Yeah. 81 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,502 {\an8}Oh! Why don't you go say hi? He's a little cutie patootie. 82 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,629 {\an8}Cuties are everywhere. 83 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,507 {\an8}It's gonna take a lot more than being the cutest cutie to ever petute 84 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,592 {\an8}to turn the head of old Jacob Hill. 85 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,845 {\an8}Okay. 86 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,514 {\an8}Then why is your neck on L mode right now? 87 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,683 {\an8}It's because I'm... I'm actually checking out... 88 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,935 {\an8}- Oh, okay. - Hey, girl. 89 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,146 {\an8}Hey, Erika. 90 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,356 {\an8}And Simon. 91 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,441 {\an8}What's... What's he doing here? Hey. 92 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,359 {\an8}Worshipping the ground I walk on, of course. 93 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,610 {\an8}- Hey, Janine. - 'Sup. 94 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,736 {\an8}Why don't you go talk to Jacob? 95 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,655 {\an8}Whatever you say, E baby. 96 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,033 Mmm. Mmm. You so nasty. 97 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,578 Very nasty. I thought he broke up with you. 98 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,539 Broke up with me? Does that even sound like right to you? 99 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,541 So, I love it when you guys are together. 100 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,711 It's kind of fun but dangerous, like walking backwards. 101 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,838 So how long are you staying together this time? 102 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,842 You're asking a lot of questions about me and my man, but where is yours? 103 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,677 He's still built like a Lego? 104 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,930 Oh, hey. How you doing? 105 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:29,185 I'm Gregory, and I'll be your driver for the next 13 minutes. 106 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:33,481 Please, buckle up and help yourself to any of the drinks and assorted snacks. 107 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,525 I also have every kind of phone charger. 108 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,403 And if you feast your eyes on the tablet attached to the back of the headrest, 109 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,324 you'll find my latest addition, Gregory's goofy games. 110 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:47,245 Okay, enough practice. Time for the real thing. Let's go. 111 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,083 Oh, hey. How you doing? I'm Gregory. 112 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,126 I'll sit here. 113 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,212 I got you. 114 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,131 In case someone hotter walks by. 115 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,510 Thank you. 116 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,636 Have you been here before? 117 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,263 No, but it seems up to my standards. 118 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,556 Gonna go ahead and let my girl know 119 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,392 she doesn't have to pretend she's going into labor. 120 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,102 I've been hesitant to come here. 121 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,356 It's kind of a sore spot since it replaced one of my favorite restaurants. 122 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,941 Donna was one of your favorite restaurants? 123 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,985 Well, for nostalgia, not for the food. 124 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,238 It was where my parents would take me whenever I got a good report card. 125 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,407 Oh. You had to get good grades just to eat. Sad. 126 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,953 Nah, nah. If that was the case, I wouldn't have eaten very often. 127 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,163 I was not a great student. 128 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,501 A bad boy or a dumb boy? Both? 129 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,168 Neither. Now. 130 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,253 Okay. 131 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,089 Yeah. What about you though? 132 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,425 Did your family go out to eat a lot when you were growing up? 133 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,428 You're not supposed to ask people if they grew up rich. 134 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,889 But if you're worried I don't know what MP means, I do. 135 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,601 And those are the only things I'll be ordering. 136 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:58,941 ♪ I found ♪ 137 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:02,486 ♪ Love ♪ 138 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:06,991 ♪ Never knew what I was missin' But I knew once... ♪ 139 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:11,912 How are they still attracted to one another after hearing each other sing? 140 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:12,997 Barb. 141 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:17,877 If Gerald even burps off key... Hmm. I'm not looking at him for a week. 142 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,379 Hey, Mr. Johnson, all these songs are in Korean. 143 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,048 I know that. I'm BTS ARMY. 144 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,592 What are you gonna sing, Melissa? 145 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,010 That is a question for the me 146 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,554 that is living three drinks in the future, my friend. 147 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,972 I will get us a pitcher. 148 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,391 ♪ Love ♪ 149 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,476 Oh, no, no, no, no. 150 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,770 Hi, can I please get a-- 151 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:41,859 Ooh. 152 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,027 Oh, Jesus. 153 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,947 No, no, no... Come on, come on, come on. 154 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,991 Whoo! The stripper's here! 155 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,910 No, no, no. Not a stripper. 156 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,872 Uh, my... my ex is here. I need to just hide out for a beat, okay? 157 00:06:54,873 --> 00:07:01,421 Take if off! Take it off! Take if off! Take it off! Take if off! 158 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,506 - ♪ It's hard out here for a pimp ♪ - ♪ For a pimp ♪ 159 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,842 ♪ When he's tryin' to get This money for the rent ♪ 160 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,926 ♪ For the rent ♪ 161 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,387 ♪ For the Cadillacs and gas money spent ♪ 162 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,766 ♪ Will have a whole lot Of bitches jumpin' ship... ♪ 163 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,059 ♪ It's hard out here for a pimp ♪ 164 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,061 Janine. Janine. 165 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,313 ♪ When he's tryin' to get This money for the rent ♪ 166 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,523 ♪ For the Cadillacs and gas money spent ♪ 167 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,275 - Ooh. - Hey, you forgot the beer. 168 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,655 Where are all the worship songs? I was promised the BeBes and the CeCes. 169 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,574 - I saw my ex. - Avi? 170 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,533 - Zach. - I like Zach. 171 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,744 He's out there with a new gentleman caller. Name: unknown. 172 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,871 Okay, so I thought the two of youse were cool. 173 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,290 Hey, it's not like you haven't seen each other since the breakup. 174 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,334 No. You're right. I don't... I don't know why I panicked. 175 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,919 Just go on out there and say hello. 176 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,213 Yeah. I'm gonna. Save my place in the queue though. 177 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,547 - Okay. - Saved. 178 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,300 Get the pitcher first. 179 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,426 So, what do you think so far? 180 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,930 Not to be "rude-o," but I hated the crudo. 181 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,599 - You know... - Hmm? 182 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,352 You giggle a lot for a man. 183 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,813 Well, I just like to show when I'm having a good time. 184 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,022 Mmm. 185 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,911 I don't get a lot of chances to practice my Japanese. 186 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,956 Good thing we came to this Japanese restaurant. 187 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,082 Touché. 188 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,543 Wow. Now he's speaking French. 189 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:25,463 This man is turning into a Rosetta Stone right before my very eyes. 190 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,717 Uh, do you speak any other languages? 191 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,218 Just the universal one. 192 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,511 Love? 193 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,888 That's hilarious. 194 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,306 Money. You know, if you wanna get some more practice, 195 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,350 you can order us some sake. 196 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,352 The Japanese word for that is sake. 197 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:47,943 - ♪ I never would have made it ♪ - ♪ Never would have made it ♪ 198 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:54,199 - ♪ I never, I never could have made it ♪ - ♪ Never could have made it ♪ 199 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,452 ♪ Without you ♪ 200 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,246 - Wow! You're doing great. - Yeah! Oh, my God. 201 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,665 Hallelujah! Yes! 202 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,126 Why is anybody else wasting their time? 203 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,795 It should just be you and me all night, Barb. 204 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,213 - Yeah! Yeah. - Thank you, friend. 205 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,674 And I can't wait to hear what you're cooking up. 206 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,052 Okay, well, one more drink and I'll be in the zone. 207 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,136 All right, have mine. 208 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,638 Oh, my gosh. I appreciate you guys for helping Barbara out like that. 209 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,891 She made us sing that song because she said we needed Jesus. 210 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,975 - And we do. - Oh. 211 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,268 - Janine, you up. - Oh, uh... 212 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,730 I am not ready yet 'cause Gregory and I are doing a duet, so... 213 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,148 You mean you and that Gregory? 214 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,192 Oh, he... 215 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,527 Got your ass. 216 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,905 That's a good one. 217 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,282 I'm sure he's almost here. I'm gonna go check. 218 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,492 Okay, girl. 219 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,868 Hello. 220 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,829 Hey. So, no pressure, but I've already moved our names 221 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,165 to the bottom of the queue, like, twice now. 222 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,877 Uh, yeah, okay, I'm just picking up one more ride and then I'm there. 223 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:50,214 All right. Well, please hurry. But don't speed. 224 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,633 I can't wait, but there's always time to make a safe choice. 225 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,260 So excited to see you in however long it takes. 226 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,846 - For Leonard? - Uh, yep. 227 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,765 - Ah. - Uh, Janine, I gotta go. 228 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,849 Oh, totally. All right. 229 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,478 Well, if your rider gets strange or aggressive, just give me a call. 230 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,562 People get weird at night. 231 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,232 - Love you. - Aight, love you too. 232 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:08,900 Love you three. 233 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,199 Oh, it's all happening. 234 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,497 - What are you doing here? - Hi. 235 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:27,584 Um, Barbara won a raffle for, like, a free karaoke room. 236 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,877 So, what about you? 237 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:32,172 We're celebrating the opening night of my one-man show, Got Out. 238 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,924 Oh. Oh, you changed the title. 239 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,553 Yeah, writing about you actually broke down some walls for me creatively. 240 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,346 But what about you? What are you up to? 241 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,267 Hmm. Well, um, Melissa got a guinea pig. 242 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,769 That's cool. 243 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,230 You know, I'm near you guys now. I just moved to Northern Liberties. 244 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,107 Zach, what the hell? 245 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,317 That's been your dream neighborhood for, like, ever. 246 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,404 I know. I'm really going after what I want. It feels good. 247 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:59,158 Oh. Well... Well, good. 248 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:03,037 Zach, you're up. Come on. Our song. 249 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,330 I don't need the lyrics. 250 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,001 ♪ Oh, hey ♪ 251 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,880 ♪ Every single day I walk down the street ♪ 252 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:17,342 - ♪ I hear people say, "Baby, so sweet" ♪ - ♪ Baby ♪ 253 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,430 - ♪ And don't lose your mind ♪ - ♪ And don't lose your mind ♪ 254 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,099 - Dessert menu? - Yes, please. 255 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,144 Thank you. 256 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,230 So, yeah, those are my top five roller coasters. 257 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:34,067 But I'm more of an immersive motion simulator kind of guy. 258 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,404 Do you have a... Do you have a favorite? 259 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,822 A favorite what? 260 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,075 Thing I never wanted to talk about tonight? 261 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,582 Um, excuse me, could we just get the check actually? 262 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,876 Oh, so you just decided I didn't want the matcha cheesecake? 263 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,672 No, I just didn't wanna waste any more of your time since this is going so poorly. 264 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,424 Why would you say that? 265 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:01,304 Uh, because of basically everything that you said over the course of this date. 266 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,765 You making fun of me the whole night. 267 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,101 But that's kind of been our thing. 268 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,062 Would've been nice to build on that rapport 269 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,607 to actually, I don't know, learn something about each other. 270 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:17,278 Learn what? I'm perfect. You're obsessed with me. 271 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,328 How long do you think it will be until you get here? 272 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,664 Um, it should be about... 273 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,040 - Whoa. - What? 274 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,208 It's just surge pricing 275 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,918 is the highest I've ever seen it right now. 276 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,129 A fare to Jersey just came in, and it pays for like a fifth of my rent. 277 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,215 Oh. 278 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,594 W-Would it be the worst thing in the world if I didn't make it tonight? 279 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,138 Oh, um... 280 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,473 You know what, no. Never mind. 281 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,392 I'll just, um... I shouldn't have even asked. 282 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,520 I'll just pass on the ride, and I'll be there in ten. 283 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,437 No, Gregory, don't do that. 284 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,109 You gotta take it. You took a second job to make money. 285 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,859 Make the money. 286 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,489 Thank you for understanding. I'll, um... 287 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,950 I promise I'll make it up to you. 288 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,369 Okay. Bye. 289 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,832 It's about time. Jacob, you're up. 290 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,334 Oh. Okay, hold on. Just want to switch my song real quick. 291 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,545 - How'd things go with Zach? - It went great. 292 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:20,173 He looks great. Sounds great. Overall, just, uh... just great. 293 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,175 He better not sing anything ironic. 294 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,428 And he certainly better not sing, "Ironic." 295 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,972 Yeah, well, you know, I love the boy, but he's always pitchy. 296 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,349 And he refuses to use his diaphragm. 297 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:33,562 ♪ Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort ♪ 298 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,938 Let's go! 299 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,274 ♪Suffocation, no breathing ♪ 300 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:40,193 ♪ Don't give a if I cut my arm bleeding ♪ 301 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,366 ♪ This is my last resort ♪ 302 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,042 Jacob. 303 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,629 I know you said you're okay, but the songs you have in the queue... 304 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,173 they sound quite alarming. 305 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,884 Is this because Zach's got a new guy? 306 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:07,387 No, he's a... he's a serial monogamist. That was inevitable. 307 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,725 Just that Zach has, like, done so much since we broke up, you know? 308 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,518 - He's gotten back into theater. - Yeah. 309 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,229 He's got his dream apartment, new friends. 310 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,648 I didn't recognize anybody in his karaoke room. 311 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:23,613 You know, he's, like, moving forward, and I just, I don't know, I feel stuck. 312 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,702 This is the part where you tell me I'm doing great and I'm overreacting. 313 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:35,792 Sometimes, the best thing that you can do for someone is just be a mirror. 314 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,586 But hey, look, I-I-I helped RJ get into golf, you know. 315 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,296 - Yes. - I got the school a counselor. So... 316 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:46,176 You did. And those are amazing professional wins. 317 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:49,846 But, sweetheart, there's more to life than work. 318 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:50,931 Mm-hmm. 319 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:55,435 Maybe it's time for you to start looking for whatever your dream apartment is. 320 00:14:55,436 --> 00:15:00,857 Hey, you might even think about looking for something deeper in your dating life. 321 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,860 Hey, it can't be that hard with your driller app and everything. 322 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:07,489 So Ava just texted. Turns out she's gonna come after all. 323 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,615 Great. 324 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,284 I can't believe you are not letting me choose a song. 325 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,078 Well, I can't believe you bought another condo 326 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,621 when you can barely take me out on dates. 327 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,915 - It has an outdoor pool. - We live in Philadelphia. 328 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:21,253 And it's like if I'm driving to make money so I'm not stressed about going out, 329 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,714 but then I'm missing that when I'm driving, then, like, what's the point? 330 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,634 It's... It's like I'm going in circles. 331 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,219 Well, you are going the right way, right? 332 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,097 I meant it metaphorically. 333 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:36,811 Dang, surge pricing is five times the normal fare. 334 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,316 You gonna accept that ride or what? 335 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,365 Maria F is five minutes away. You don't have to wait with me. 336 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,076 Of course I'm gonna wait with you. 337 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,375 My family used to go out to eat at chain restaurants all the time. 338 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,919 It's like my dad's favorite thing to do. 339 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,254 But he has the worst taste. 340 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,756 I kinda like chain restaurants. 341 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,510 Me too. But I was talking about his taste in women. 342 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:15,599 He started a second family with a waitress at one of those restaurants, 343 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,562 and queso dips are very triggering for me now. 344 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,192 Thank you for telling me that. 345 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,902 I don't really like queso dip anyway 346 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,447 so it won't be hard to avoid on our next date. 347 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,035 This date doesn't have to end right now. 348 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,120 I was invited to karaoke tonight. 349 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,124 I wasn't planning on gracing them with my talents, but... 350 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,751 you want to go with me? 351 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,545 I'm down. 352 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,677 Go ahead. 353 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,598 No, no, I don't wanna hurt your feelings. I know you're sensitive. 354 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,267 I ain't sensitive. I ain't sensitive. Go ahead and make your little joke. 355 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,229 What divorced lesbian did you steal this Subaru from? 356 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,439 Get in my car. 357 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,901 ♪ Way up high or down low ♪ 358 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,195 ♪ I'll go wherever ♪ 359 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:17,244 ♪ You will go ♪ 360 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,162 - Yeah. - Yes! 361 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,081 - She's like your best friend, right? - Wow. 362 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,458 What are you talking about? She sounds just like him. 363 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,544 - I crushed it. - Whoa. Okay. 364 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,755 - Yeah, sis. - I guess it's me. 365 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,674 Whoo! Go, Janine. 366 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:31,258 What's up, guys? 367 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,759 - That was great, Melissa. - Thank you. 368 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,555 Um, as you guys know, Gregory was supposed to be here, but he couldn't make it. 369 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:40,475 But it's okay, because in his honor, I'm gonna do both parts of the duet. 370 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,852 - Okay. - Which, um, shouldn't be hard. 371 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,480 I've done it before. I was a very lonely High School Musical fan, 372 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,565 so here we go. 373 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,857 Okay. 374 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:53,197 ♪ Baby, I'm not always there when you call But I'm always on time ♪ 375 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,784 - ♪ Gave you my all, now, baby, come on ♪ - ♪ Come on ♪ 376 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,995 ♪ And get a piece of this late night lover You know ♪ 377 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:02,247 - ♪ The one you say is like no other ♪ - ♪ You say is like no other ♪ 378 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,666 ♪ I know I got a lot of things I need to explain ♪ 379 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:05,834 ♪ But, baby, you know the name ♪ 380 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,127 ♪ And love is about pain ♪ 381 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,713 ♪ So, stop the complaints And drop the order restraints ♪ 382 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,007 ♪ Our sex life's a game So back me down in the paint ♪ 383 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,343 - ♪ And I can't wait no more ♪ - ♪ About a quarter past three ♪ 384 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,178 ♪ And shorty's eyein' me ♪ 385 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,764 - ♪ Bentley valeted ♪ - ♪Bentley valeted ♪ 386 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,099 Bill? 387 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,559 Elijah. 388 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,520 Hi, Elijah. I'm Jacob. 389 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:29,108 Hi, Jacob. That was really risky. I'm not gonna lie. 390 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,860 I'm so glad that worked. 391 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,361 What were you gonna do if it didn't? 392 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:37,324 Probably say, "Hey, I'm Jacob, the guy you forgot to hit on earlier." 393 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,743 - That's also pretty good. - Thank you. 394 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,162 What brings you to karaoke? 395 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,205 It is my friend's birthday, 396 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,168 and I volunteered to get the drinks because I hate singing. 397 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,047 Do you think I can get your number? 398 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,466 For sure. 399 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,553 I'm gonna put it in as "Bill." 400 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,097 There you go. 401 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,806 All right. 402 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,475 - See you, Jacob. - Yeah. 403 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,643 What's up, man? 404 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,562 Okay, Jacob. I see you. 405 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,148 Uh, come on. I'll, uh, show you where the room is. 406 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,401 Ava, it's so great to see you. I want you to meet my new boyfriend. 407 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,653 White? 408 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,363 It's actually pronounced "Wyatt." 409 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,531 Right. 410 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,618 You're talking about how I'm looking around at everyone... 411 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,620 Wow. 412 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:24,829 - Hey! - Hey! 413 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,748 - There they are. - Finally. 414 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,833 - How did it go? - He's here, ain't he? 415 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,920 We got time for one more song. Ava, you choose. 416 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,589 - Help me pick. - Okay. 417 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:39,345 What do you even do? You know what? I'm out. I'm done. I am done. Nah. Nope. 418 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,473 Yep, just, uh... 419 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,059 Appreciate you, bro. 420 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,312 I got the wrong idea about you at the district. 421 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,356 They got "No More Drama" by Mary J on there? 422 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,900 ♪ What would you do If your son was at home ♪ 423 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,945 ♪ Crying all alone on the bedroom floor 'Cause he's hungry? ♪ 424 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,988 ♪ And the only way to feed him is to ♪ 425 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,032 ♪ Sleep with a man For a little bit of money ♪ 426 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,743 ♪ And his daddy's gone Somewhere smokin' rock now ♪ 427 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,329 ♪ In and out of lockdown I ain't got a job now ♪ 428 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:10,543 ♪ So for you this is just a good time But for me this is what I call life ♪ 429 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,586 ♪ Girl, you ain't The only one with a baby ♪ 430 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,173 Yeah, there's some things you just can't put a price on. 431 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,426 ♪ What would you do If your son was at home ♪ 432 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,846 ♪ Crying all alone on the bedroom floor 'Cause he's hungry? ♪ 433 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,597 ♪ And the only way to feed him is to ♪ 434 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,683 ♪ Sleep with a man For a little bit of money ♪ 435 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,436 ♪ And his daddy's gone Somewhere smokin' rock now ♪ 436 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,980 ♪ In and out of lockdown I ain't got a job now ♪ 437 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:36,443 ♪ So for you this is just a good time But for me this is what I call life ♪ 438 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,278 He's right there. 439 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,489 - But so sad. - We killed that! 440 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,241 You know, as somebody who usually shuns the spotlight... 441 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,202 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - ...I never really got the appeal of karaoke 442 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,580 but, um, it was... it was fun. 443 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,290 - It was really fun. It was. - It was, wasn't it? 444 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,374 - Yeah. - And you were so good. 445 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,042 I practiced the entire time I was driving. 446 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,127 - You did? - Yeah. 447 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,671 Okay, let me catch you up on everything you missed while you were gone. 448 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,715 - Kept a log, just the way you like. - Oh, great. 449 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,843 - So, 8:02 p.m. We arrived. - Two minutes late. What happened? 450 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:05,138 {\an8}Hey, I'm pretty sure I requested a quiet ride. 451 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,307 {\an8}- Oh. - You know what? You sure did. 452 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,934 {\an8}- Um, my bad. - Sorry. 453 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,854 {\an8} My shoelace was caught in the escalator-- 454 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:16,776 {\an8}A quiet ride, not a whisper one. A quiet one. 455 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,365 {\an8}- So, I-- - Just give me your hand. Okay. 37383

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