Original subtitles

Yes!

So, Abbott is putting on a Christmas show.

It's the first one.

I have been asked to choreograph a step routine.

I was asked by myself when Ava was unavailable.

Couldn't turn myself down, you know.

All right, we are going to be stepping to the perfect song.

Hold on to your stockings.

What song is that?

What? You're kidding, right?

No.

You guys seriously don't know this?

It's Run-D.M.C.!

What's Run-D.M.C.?

Oh, kids. No... No.

How do you... How do you not know...

♪ It was December 24th On Hollis Ave after dark ♪

♪ When I seen a man chilling With his dog in the park ♪

♪ I approached him very slowly With my heart full of fear ♪

♪ Looked at his dog Oh, my God ♪

♪ An ill reindeer ♪

Oh! You're singing "Christmas in Hollis."

Yeah. Jacob, they don't know it.

- What? - Yeah.

They don't know...

♪ It's Christmastime in Hollis, Queens ♪

♪ Mom's cookin' chicken And collard greens ♪

♪ Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese ♪

♪ And Santa put gifts Under Christmas trees ♪

♪ Decorate your house With lights at night ♪

♪ Snow's on the ground Snow white so bright ♪

♪ In the fireplace is the yule log ♪

♪ Beneath the mistletoe As we drink eggnog ♪

♪ Rhymes so loud and proud You hear it ♪

♪ It's Christmastime And we got the spirit ♪

♪ Jack Frost chillin' The hawk is out ♪

♪ And that's what Christmas Is all about ♪

Can we just do Ariana Grande?

No, no.

No.

And...

- ♪ Deck the halls with... ♪ - ♪ Deck the halls with bells of holly ♪

Sweethearts, it's "boughs of holly," not "bells," babies.

Mrs. Howard, what's a bough?

My class is headlining the Christmas show

with a performance of "Deck the Halls,"

and I am so excited because it's my favorite time of year.

And as the children say, it's gonna be a sleigh.

S-L-E-I-G-H. Get it? Sleigh.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Mrs. Howard, I can't do the Christmas show.

We don't celebrate.

Oh, Khadija, I am so sorry.

Mrs. Howard was on autopilot and forgot.

But can you contribute a snowflake?

Wonderful.

All right, let's take it from the top.

I got the whole tomatoes,

- diced tomatoes, crushed tomatoes. - Mm-hmm.

I got the gabagoo, mortadell, prosciutt, soppressat.

- Mm-hmm. - Do any of these words have endings?

Do you plan on getting a haircut?

Relax.

I'm getting one this week.

What's with all the meat?

She's making Christmas Eve dinner for her family this year.

Gotta have the meats.

My brother can take down a whole pig by himself.

- Hooves and all. - Wow.

I cannot wait for a Schemmenti Christmas Eve.

Jacob, I haven't formally invited you yet.

- I live there! - Oh!

That reminds me.

Don't forget, you gotta get extra bedding for the couch

'cause your brother is not sleeping on the new plastic.

Your brother?

Yeah. Caleb's coming down from Albany at the end of the week,

and, uh, staying for Christmas.

- Oh, that sounds nice. - It's not.

- Okay. - I haven't seen him in three years,

and, uh, there was always friction.

He's, like, everything my folks ever wanted.

He was popular. He played football.

He even had a teenage pregnancy scare,

and somehow still managed to be the family's golden child.

The older brother, um, can sometimes cast a big shadow.

- He's my younger brother. - All right, dawg. I tried.

Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, that Caleb is not coming to my dinner.

Great. Yeah. We don't want him there anyway.

Jacob, you're still on the wait list.

Just like Morehouse.

Ooh! That was fantastic, girlies. And Tim.

We are one step closer to nailing this routine

and turning you all into Run-D.M.C. fans.

You finally made a routine we all like.

Okay.

I don't think we have to use the word "finally." It's not my favorite adverb.

Why don't we take a breather? Okay?

Ha! You're not gonna be onstage.

I don't celebrate Christmas.

Santa doesn't bring you presents.

Santa doesn't like you.

Stop it right now and apologize.

We do not treat each other that way!

- Sorry. - Sorry.

Oh, Khadija, I'm sorry your classmates teased you that way.

Are you okay?

Thank you, Mrs. Howard. I'm okay.

I just wish I could be onstage too.

The whole point of the show is celebrating that holiday feeling of being together.

And every student deserves to be included.

Any luck with the projector?

Oh, it's working great.

There's a rabbit.

I'm a janitor, not an Apple genius.

You can call that district IT man down here.

O'Shon?

Oh, you know his name, huh?

Interesting.

Oh, hello, Ava.

To what do we owe this visit to the second floor?

Somebody came in asking for you.

The story was fishy,

but I gave him a visitor badge just to see what would happen.

Jakey!

Caleb?

You're not supposed to be here till the end of the week.

Oh, come on. Is that how you're gonna greet your little bro?

Bring it in!

Little bro from another mo'?

Nope, we both came out the same incredible woman.

Okay. All right. That's enough. I'm at work.

Not until the back cracker!

- No. - Crack!

Crack! Okay, breathe out.

Breathe out.

- Crack. There it is. - Okay, yeah. Yeah.

You know I hate that.

Ava, this is, uh... this is my brother Caleb.

What up, Caleb?

I like your energy. Seems chaotic.

Um, what are you doing here?

I just wanted to see the bro-jo in his dojo, you know.

Kicking knowledge into kids' craniums.

Yeah, that's great, but...

Well, the day... the day is over.

No worries. I'll come back tomorrow, then. My week's clear.

As a personal trainer, sometimes you gotta take days off to make gains.

Hill mentality.

Trademarked.

Okay, don't, um...

Let's, uh... Come on. Um...

Let's go!

Hey, do you wanna wrestle?

Ha! Perfect!

That was perfect, guys! Don't change a thing.

Oh, my goodness. After weeks of hard work

and-and-and sleeping under my desk a few nights, I did it!

Ava, take down that tree.

And, Janine, get back under your desk.

We are not doing a Christmas-themed show anymore.

Really?

Um, oh.

But we can still do "Christmas in Hollis," right?

No, find another song.

It is now Winter at Abbott.

Has my power been usurped?

We don't remember allowing that.

Okay.

Tetris that in there.

If I could just...

Melissa, this is a communal fridge. You can't take up all the space.

I'm hosting my family for dinner, all right?

I need the extra space.

Already bought an extra freezer because I gotta share my at-home fridge

with Jacob and his stupid non-dairy milks.

And you are welcome to all the sweet pea milk you can drink.

Everyone, this is my brother, Caleb.

Hey. Gregory. Nice to meet you, man.

Yeah, nice to meet you... Whoa.

Solid grip. Great set of calluses. You lift.

I always wanted Jakey to lift with me, but it was never his thing, you know.

Hey, I lifted...

the spirits of everyone around me.

Well, it's nice meeting you.

I'm gonna let you out of this conversation so I don't corner you with small talk.

I deeply appreciate that.

So how was sleeping on the couch?

You know, I have slept on a lot of couches,

but you got something special going on in that living room, baby girl.

Thank you!

You know, Jacob sits on that couch every day, never once has complimented it.

Yeah, well, Melissa, I forgot to tell you that Caleb is a Giants fan.

I'd phrase it more as I hate the Cowboys.

Good man.

- Good man right there. - Uh-huh.

What are you doing on, uh, Christmas Eve?

Oh, just hanging with the bro. Maybe go outside and build a "broman."

Well, I'm hosting a little dinner, so you should pull up a seat.

I don't see why I couldn't. I mean, I'll be there anyway.

And so will I?

What don't you understand about wait lists?

Oh, hey! This must be the famous Janine.

I'm this wet fart's baby brother, Caleb.

I'm JK, Jakey.

Oh, hi. It's nice to meet you, Caleb.

Hey, you dance, right?

You know, I used to do a little, uh...

- Ay, ay! - Ooh. Oh.

Wow. That's actually really good.

You know what? Actually, we-we should probably, uh, head out.

- Oh. Okay. - Get going. Sorry.

Hey, make sure you guys turn today up to the maximum!

- I will. - Yeah.

- I like it! - Nice to meet you, man.

- Good guy. Good man. - What's this over here?

Yeah, have a great day, y'all.

- Okay. Bye. - All right.

- Melissa... - What is this?

- Can we... - What?

What's up, Barbar?

- Don't call me that. - Yes, ma'am.

Hey, look. So, uh, I'm actually here to yell at you...

- ...on behalf of the PTA. Respectfully. - Mm-hmm.

They found out that you're tryna yeet Christmas,

and they don't like that very much.

Tell the parents not to worry.

We are having a winter show so that all of the students can participate.

All right. So, Barb,

if we one hundred percent can't do "Christmas in Hollis,"

then I've compiled an extensive list of non-Christmas songs

and have arranged them in order of step ability. So, take a look.

Janine, the only song on this list that'll work is "Let It Snow,"

and it is far too adult with all of that kissing in front of the fire. Ugh.

Mmm, yeah. Yeah, you can't forget the goodbying too.

- Mm-hmm. - They was nasty.

The song must include spending time with loved ones, warm beverages,

yet be enough of a throwback that adults can enjoy

while simultaneously being fresh enough to engage our modern youth.

Yes, that is word-for-word what I put into the Google search.

- Oh. - No one's written that song.

- Yet. - Oh, no.

You almost done?

Uh, I still got some work to do.

I'll probably have to come back tomorrow to finish up.

No rush.

So this is a Christmas show?

Well, it was, but it's a winter show now.

I'm just annoyed because I had this whole Christmas giveaway plan

with the tree and presents, but I can't do it now.

You could make it a winter giveaway, right?

Change up the wrapping paper to snowflakes or something and...

remove that angel with the striking resemblance to you

from the top of the tree.

Oh, I wasn't looking for ideas. I was just complaining.

I like to give back around Christmas time, too.

- Like what? - I go to the soup kitchen.

Oh, so you're kind and stuff.

You don't need to brag about it.

All right. So, as we all know,

in 1492 Columbus set sail with his three ships,

The Niña, The Pinta, The Santa María.

No way! That's dope!

Well, there's nothing dope about mass colonization.

Oh, no. For sure, bro. Hundo p.

I was just thinking, I wonder if my exes,

Nina and Maria, were named after those ships.

- Doubt it. - They were sisters.

Maybe they got a third sister, Pinta, out there waiting for me.

Caleb, stop.

My bad.

Anyways, the Vikings...

Hey. I'm Aaliyah from the Podcast Club.

We'd love to have you as a guest.

We should totally sidebar.

Laminated business cards?

Sick!

Guys, guys, eyes up here, please.

- ♪ Seasons greetings to y... ♪ - ♪ Seasons greetings to you ♪

Oh, darlings. That's wonderful, but that's the wrong note.

I have penned a soon-to-be holiday classic

that we will be performing in the winter show.

This way, no student is left out of the performance.

At least not for religious reasons.

Still yet to be seen for melodic reasons.

Mrs. Howard, we wrote our own song.

Well, sweetheart, this wasn't exactly a free-for-all writing assignment,

but, um, let's hear it.

♪ Snowman's our favorite Hot cocoa makes me fart ♪

Oh, that's lovely. Wonderful.

But this year we are going to sing Mrs. Howard's song.

- Hey, Mrs. Howard. - Oh!

How's it looking with the song?

You can't rush art, Janine.

Oh, okay. It's just, um, we're gonna need the song soon.

'Cause I choreographed a routine with some generic dance moves,

but without the song we can't actually practice.

So I don't wanna rush art, I just wanna know art's ETA.

Janine.

- Give me some time... - Okay.

...and you will have the song.

- Okay. - Yeah.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm shoving Italian dishes through a cafeteria window.

What's it look like I'm doing? I ran out of room in the fridge.

And don't tell me to put it in the snow. I already got two turkeys out there.

I have a mini fridge in my closet.

You do?

Well, thank you so much for offering.

I didn't say you could use it.

I was just sharing information.

I got a treadmill in there too.

You can't use that either.

Okay, first you fill up the lounge fridge, now you're filling up this one too?

Where am I supposed to put my lunch?

Mr. Johnson, are you allowing this?

You're allowing your hair to grow out like that?

Get a haircut, boy.

Hey! Caleb said he was gonna be with you.

Lending you moves, elevating your routine?

Oh, he did.

But now he's with Gregory, doing a pod for the Podcast Club.

What?

No, no, no, no.

He actually went to prom by himself.

He had no date.

Got himself a sick corsage and everything,

and just strolled in solo. Ready to dance with any--

Hey, hey! Stop the pod. Stop. Stop recording.

Uh, Jacob, it's okay.

It's not. Caleb, will you step into the hallway with me, please?

- I'll be right back. - Oh, okay.

What...

Why did you come here?

What do you mean? To hang out with you.

Yeah. Well, I haven't seen you in three years.

Because you never come home.

Yeah, do you ever think about why I don't come home?

Because we turned your bedroom into a gym?

I mean, kind of, yeah, that's one of many reasons.

Look, Abbott is my new home, okay?

And you come in here and you Caleb it up

with your back crackers and making fun of me.

You know, when you said you were coming,

I really hoped that things would be different, you know?

Because we're adults now. But clearly, nothing has changed.

You have to be the favorite, everyone's favorite.

Dude, I mean, if that's how you feel--

That is how I feel.

Then I guess I'll go.

I'll go get my stuff and stay with my buddy, Connor.

The back crackers meant no harm. They're supposed to relieve back pain.

♪ We wish you all the good things ♪

♪ The smiles remove the bad ♪

Ms. Howard, what's wrong?

I'm sorry.

You know, I've just asked too much of you and there...

there isn't enough time for you to learn the song.

So... in order to save the winter show,

I'm just gonna have to sing the winter song myself.

No!

Please, please.

Hey, man.

How you doing?

You know I cannot lie to you, Gregory. I'm a little PO'd, okay?

But I wouldn't wanna burden you with my--

- Let it out. - Caleb always does this.

Everywhere he goes, it's The Caleb Show.

Caleb's the coolest. Caleb's the strongest.

Caleb has his drone license.

He is this constant reminder of everything I'm not.

It's one of the reasons I left home in the first place.

And now, I just... I just... I just feel like everything I had run away from

has come, like, crashing back down on me.

I don't even know why he came here.

I think you should come listen to this.

But you know, when you're snowmobiling at that altitude,

the drone can't connect so you...

Wrong spot. Hang on.

Okay.

I obviously looked up to Jacob my whole life.

He was so smart.

I realized I could never be as smart as he was,

so I put my brain in my muscles and became a jock and a drone pilot.

But Jacob's honestly the most fearless person I've ever met.

He never cared what anyone else thought about him,

and always knew exactly who he was.

He actually went to prom by himself.

He had no date.

Got himself a sick corsage and everything,

and strolled in solo. Ready to dance with any--

And that's when you ran in and started yelling at everyone.

- It's not. - Yeah. Okay.

♪ Bar-bar-ra ♪

♪ How-ard ♪

- ♪ Bar-bar-- ♪ - I did it! I did it!

Ava, O'Shon, Mr. Johnson, Jacob, I did it.

Contingency dance number 4 works with Barbara's songs.

The kids are locked in.

Let's get this show... on the road!

Yes!

Whatever.

- Thanks for coming. - Thanks for texting.

I was coming anyway.

The podcast kids invited me and I didn't wanna let them down, you know.

Hey, um, I'm sorry I flipped out on you yesterday.

Just...

Being around you, it reminds me of everything back home,

and I've been working really hard to, like, move past all that.

Well, I don't wanna take you back to that place, bro.

I'm proud of you for leaving

and, you know, I get it, but I'm not Mom and Dad.

And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that.

You know, going to prom stag,

I felt so alone in that moment.

Really?

To me, it was just my big bro being a big boss, you know?

Yeah, well, I-I-I couldn't have felt less like boss back then.

Hey, you know, if you ever need to talk, I'm just a phone call away, right?

Hey, there's my friend.

- How you doing? - Hey, you!

Oh, me?

Why do I have 20 pounds of calamari in my fridge?

Listen, I'll make you a deal.

How do you feel about a nice calamari chowder?

Terribly.

Cannoli, on the other hand, will sweeten a deal.

- No glitz? - Pistachio.

Chocolate chip.

Pleasure doing business.

All right, looks like you are good to go.

The projector is fixed, I tuned up the sound system,

and I went ahead and set up some winter-friendly visuals.

You know you're not getting a tip, right?

I saw that you changed up the tree.

You went with some different wrapping paper for the gifts?

Mmm. Came up with that on my own.

Of course.

I think I'm gonna stick around a bit, catch the show.

And if anything goes wrong, I'll be right here.

Whatever.

All right, everybody, I want to see your smiles.

What are you doing here?

I don't know. I just go where my feet take me.

What? You can't...

- Oh. Packed house, Barb. - Yes.

No pressure, but you've already ruined Christmas.

- I-- - Let's not ruin winter too.

So, without further ado, headlining our inaugural Winter Show,

we have Mrs. Barbara Howard

and her kindergartners and the Abbott step team.

Enjoy.

If possible.

Take it away, Mrs. Howard!

I said, take it away, Mrs. Howard!

Oh, my voice!

I can't sing.

- Oh, no. Oh, God, um... - Oh, uh... Okay. Okay...

Um... I got it, I got it, I got it.

- I got this. I got this. New plan. - No. No.

No, no, no. My team cannot pivot again. They practiced to Barbara's song.

Okay, okay. One second.

Little gang, y'all are gonna perform the song that y'all wrote.

- Bad idea. - What?

Okay, listen, and then the steppers, y'all just gonna do whatever.

- No. No. Do the routine. - Don't do...

- Just go crazy. - No. Do the routine.

- Oh, my God. - Let's go.

♪ Snowman's my favorite Hot cocoa makes me fart ♪

All right...

Wow.

Send that to Mom and Dad.

They will hate it.

Yes.

Hey!

Encore!

- Mrs. Howard. - Yes?

Thank you so much for this.

My daughter is so happy she got the chance to participate.

- Oh, thank you. - Thank you.

Hey, yo! Yo, yo, yo.

We gonna need that encore from ya.

Let's go!

Hey, what's up, man?

Oh, hey. Um, where's Mike?

Oh, last-minute vacation.

But he filled me in on what you like.

And he says to say, "Aloha."

But between us, he's in Galveston.

Okay. Yeah, that's Mike.

Well, you know what I do for a living.

What do you do, Gregory?

Oh, I'm a... I'm a teacher.

Oh, cool.

You know, my daughter is in education.

- Oh, yeah? She a teacher? - Mmm.

She's a principal.

Uh, I forget the name of the school, though.

Abbington?

- Adams? - Abbott?

That's it! Abbott Elementary.

That's the one Ava works at.

You know it?