Original subtitles

you might not want to watch this

if you haven't seen lust yet

cause it's gonna ruin everything

you have been warned

hello , this is your ientation video

For a documentary about loss loss

In this documentary we will be examining the legacy of the show

Its impact on the television landscape

and community of fans that were brought together

To attempt to solve the mysteries of the island

They sit back and enjoy the movie

Thank you

Let me stay and good luck

Loss is so much more than a television show

Loss changed my life

it changed the lives of many people

the idea immediately struck me that

If it weren't a regular island

That's a show that would intrigue me

That really did make you question what you believed in

Are you man of science or you a man of faith

There was nothing that had prepared us for the scale of loss

These are all deeply flawed people

They're all seeking redemption

And that's incredibly compelling

I don't think people realize just how much it transformed a television landscape

Lost was a huge deal at the time . it was gigantic

It was a really special time

It felt historic and we didn't know it would have such an amazing response from fans

But we knew it was sort of go big or go home

to start again i think that's the only place to start

the inception of the show

As we know it started with lloyd braun

Who was the president of abc

Lloyd wanted the show to be a high budget quality drama version of survivor

ah

I said here's my thought about it

I said this is gonna be a weirder show than your thinking

This is not cast away in this version

The island it's not a regular island there's a hatch

There are other people that are there

You know these creatures in the jungle

This is not what you want

He's like i love it

He was smart enough to get jj on board

Get damon lindell off on board

Introduce them to each other

which is insane that that hasn't happened yet

And then greenlit an outline that was written in five days

I wrote a draft of basically an outline for what the pilot could be

Jj and i got together notes each other

We wrote the outline and then senate in

So i had met him on monday and that was friday night

And then it for it to become the biggest hit on their network ever

Andy also greenlit desperate housewive

And boston legal and grey's anatomy

Huge , huge shows that's an insane batting ratio

Like is that what they call it

Batting average win that i don't know sports

and then on saturday morning

My phone rang in my hous

And the voice on the other end says hey , is this damon

And i said yes and he said damon it's lloyd brown

Who is it

This guy from my old neighborhood

Lloyd brown and jj had been prank calling me all week

And so when i got this call

I was like hello lloyd

And he just paused and he was like well anyway

I read the outline and i was like holy shit

This is the actual lloyd bronze

And he said we're greenlighting this pilot to me and a lot of people

The pilot of lost is the perfect pilot

Oh this is

But this is it

there is before i watched this hour of television

and there's after everything came together on that pilot to make it

One of the most memorable two hour long television pile take gets the kind of cheat

You know it's like a double album

But it worked and i'm not angry about i

And it's just staggering everything that they did shooting on location

Getting the actual plane

It was so expensiv

And it showed and that was not a thing that existed

i don't think anyone understands now

Because everybody spend so much money on tv shows that didn't exist the

And now every pilot is directed by some huge director

So it's not a big deal anymore

It was a pretty big deal back there

Jj is always excited

It's super excited about everything he does

Everything he does is super cool , right

And he was like times ten

He was so excited about this

And i remember asking jj like what's the look of it

You know , usually a cinematographer meets with the director and go let's watch movies

Let's look at photos and kind of get the look of this

But he never had time to talk about it

So one day i remember finally go to his hous

And i showed him my look book

He said , yeah , yeah , that's all fine

This is what i want

Let's make it look good

Try to win an award

Okay

Cool

It was crazy for all of u

Because nobody knew what we were doing

We just loved it

It happened so quickly . there wasn't time to plan out what lost would be

Gg said at one point

It feels like we're in film schoo

And the teachers or lentists do whatever we want to do

and i i remember we were writing the pilot on the plane

And it's a weird place to be writing the pilot of lost

I really believe that when jj wrote the pilot

He was inspired

I will stand by the fact of the day tha

I really believe jj is a genius

Not in that swanky l

Oh my god , just such a genius way

But like actually a genius

I mean , he stepped into the mystery

He didn't know where it was going

He didn't know exactly how it was gonna pan out

He just felt inspired

And that was why i believe the show was so powerful and special

Even though on the surface it was just gilligins island on steroids

He pitched me what the show wa

and i'm like that sounds like the worst idea

I've ever heard in my life

And i was a huge gilligisland fan

But i was like you're gonna dramatize that like , like that's gonna be really shitty

And i think if i'm not mistaken

I was right

they were in the process of buying the fusillage of an el ten eleven

That was gonna be taken to hawaii

so a lot of things were firing on many cylinders

Before the conceptual framework for the show is even ready

And it was like , what

You know

And we had ten or eleven weeks to write i

And cast it and film it and cut it and turn it in

It was complete and utter chaos at every single level

The first priority was casting

I do remember they were still putting together the cast

They were writing it as they were casting

It was informed by the peopl

We were meeting as much as it was by our instincts

And so it was happening simultaneously

Yun jin kim came in and red for kate

They're back where's the doctor

The doctor's gone

Like she's not a kate

But we like where we want to bring her in

And boom , let's give her husband

Now , daniel's got a job

You know , it's like that

And that was cool

And it also created this diverse cas

without

Anyone being a token anything

There was an international cast

I mean , thank god

Because they're on airplane

They could do that

When i saw what they're doing with daniel day kim

I don't know how many people realize this

But there's not often an asian ma

As love interest or as an object of desire

asian mail has been desexualized in the media so much in our country

And for me to be part of tha

And see that that was exciting for me

Well for me it was an audition

Like any other audition

They were looking for a korean american man who could speak korean

And there aren't that many of us

So i was excited because i thought

Oh , i got a real shot at this

I remember shannon and boone were sort of the haha token white privilege

Like showins of like here's some people that probably aren't gonna do well

Oh deserted island

Then jj saw an episode of kb

Your enthusiasm that jorge was in

I gotta go this

Just go , just go

And he was like , that guy's in the show

And it was like , who is he in the show

And he's like , i don't know we'll figure it out

He was described as maybe his fifties in a red nec

And it said red shirt

I was like , oh , i guess he's wearing a red shirt for some reason

But then i was like

Oh , or is it like the star trek yelman that doesn't survive an episode

And i was like oh

Bummer

i guess i happened to fix that somehow

And they went with a different red neck

the character just appealed to me right away because he was

really salty but real i'm a complex guy sweetheart

And that's kind of where i was in my , uh , acting career

I'd done seventeen years of models

So yes , i travelled all over the world

I'd reached the top of that industry , which was amazing

So i gave it a sho

Hearing about the audition of like

Oh , they want an aussie person

And i was like

Oh , you know , you pick up you're like no scrip

Just going off of like love jj

Of course it's gonna be amazing

Don't know what the hell it is

But it's gonna be good

I think

Well , i was living in vancouver

I was driving a beat up old toyot

corolla that had duck tape for a back window

Because i couldn't afford to fix my back window

And i had decided that on a lark

I would go out and do some real live hardcore auditions for acting roles

Not like commercial roles

Which is how it paid my way through university

I'm going to live engths

All you need to do is pick up your phon

And a moments you're there

Evangeline lilly had done precious little before she ever got there

And in the fucking pilot

They revealed her to be a great natural fucking actress

when they're being kind of chased by the smoke monster

and ev gets like kind of separated from the group

And she ends up in that like mangrove forest

Just love that whole sequence so much

what

I remember just going for it

I was not an experienced actress and it was a really emotional scene

And so the only tool i really had in my arsenal was just balls out

You know , i just had to go for it

And she was incredible

And i , i said to jji said

What did you say to her

And he goes nothing

It was just , she had this innate ability that was just incredible

So i guess my lack of craf

And my balls out approach worked

But i remember hating my performances

When i saw them

I felt uncomfortable and weir

And i was like , ui don't know

So originally kate was gonna be the lead character of the show

It wasn't gonna be jack shepherd

It was kate austin

Jack shepherd was actually gonna die in the pilot

All the fans watching this are like , we know

And um , it was gonna be kate's show

Thank god it wasn't

i mean , that really was more than

i think my little shoulders were ready to carry with the lack of experience

I had

Matthew fox had already carried a show on party of five

I think he was a better candidate to do that

And you'll never guess which movie star had matthew fox's role first

Michael keaton was supposed to be in the pilot

Michael keaton was gonna be like the jack characte

And then die at the end of the pilot

And you beg whoa , wait , what

Which completely and totally signals to the audience that anyone can die at any time

And whatever you're expecting this show isn't gonna play it safe

The reaction we had from people was like

they really did love this character of jack

And then he die

And people just hated the whole project

So we thought , well that's probably bad

But the problem is with something like that there's the upfronts

All the advertisers go to new york

They're spending their ad dollars ahead of time

Michael keaton

I will watch anything with michael keaton

So they're gonna pour their money into somethin

And then watch the pilot and go kill that character

No way

So , uh , jjj is like

Oh , i got a guy we can kill

I look up and i see that they're prepping a dummy that looks exactly like me

I was like wait what

What

We're in the middle of shooting the pilo

And i'm thinking kate crashed , the pilot dies

Everyone is stuck here

How do you continue the story

I told jj go how

How can this go

Like what ? it seems dead end to me

And he said don't worry it's not gonna get picked up

I thought it was gonna get cancele

From the moment that we did the pilot

We would what this show about trauma and smok

and there's a bloody body in a tree

And that's you think people are gonna want to watch that

I mean when that guy gets gobbled up into the engine in the beginning

You're like , oh fuck this is real man

This is like they're not fucking around

When you went out on that beac

And saw that airplane

It made you a little nauseous

It it was real

I'd never been on a production of that size

So i had something to prove

I was like oh goodness

my character was supposed to be from buffalo

And i didn't want to go in there talking like i'm from buffalo

Yo yo

You know , i was trying to have no accent

And then the first day with jj is your director

And we started filming and he said

Okay , cut stop , stop

He came to me and i'm like oh no

I'm fired

The fire is like , sounds like you're trying to hide your accent

I was like , well he's from buffalo

Uh

I'm from georgia

It's like you're from georgia

You're from georgia

Sorry from georgia . and i'm like what

So the first time in my entire caree

That someone set me free with the accen

And said just be you

And that changed everything

I got the role but i got the rol

Dependent on getting a visa

I'm a canadian and i didn't have a visa

Meanwhile the pilot was going to start shooting in two weeks

So if it didn't happen

Then i assume they had somebody on backup

they would have taken the role and they would have carried on shooting

And i would have never been a part of it

Jj abrams called me

I had worked on a show called alia

I'm glad you change your mind

I always forget the word for giving all the information for bh , blah blah

I was mr that guy

Exposition , mr exposition

Funnily enough i could remember all those words

But not the word exposition

Everybody was terribly excited

We all looked around and said there's been a lot of money

Well , so well , this better work

Better be successful because it looks really expensive

It definitely had a lot of buzz

It was the most expensive pilot ever made

And this was the end of pilots seaso

And so it was kind of a big gamble

li got fired and i got called by the new head of abc

who said we don't know if there's a business in this show

And we want to err it as a movie

This is why we were shooting

And i remember saying to him

You tell me what the ending is for this thing and i'll shoot i

And i never gotta call about that again

It was the most expensive pilot at the time

If you had done a comparison

It would have been one of the least expensive studio movies

if the pilot doesn't cook you in the first five minutes

The polar bear it hooks you as a fan

That was the moment i was like , what am i watching

It was comedy filming it because you know the special effects were raw

But it worked because it's coming at you through the john g

He ordered a stuffed polar bear as one does

And the polar bear showed up

But what it was

What it was wa

It was a polar bear that was like lying on its side

But half of it was basically just flat

So if you stood it up

It looked like like half a polar bear

Which was not helpful

And then jj and the end throws a pillow at me

It was just me and jay

You go one , two

Three and then throwing this big stuff thing for g

This love like dodge and jj's pillow fights

You know , shooting this thing

It was hilarious that's what baby feel like

I i might survive that day because i had that one line

I just shot a bear

I just killed a bear

You know , and he loved that in delivery

So i was like , thank go

We had to have a title car

And i just loved doing this kind of crap

So i had my laptop and i just did the best i could

Which by the way has a ton of awful artifacts on it

Like when i look at it now , i'm like the fuck

How did we ever let this happen

But it was one of those things where like i did it thinking , well

If it works , we'll replace it and we just didn't

And somehow that thing ended up on tv

We had a screen in jj

Had this all over to his house

I just remember it's all sitting ther

And even just like the first five minutes

We all just looked at each other like

Holy shit

This is what's happening now

Actually i got full on goosebumps

Like this is fucking cool

Man is like nothing would ever say

There was such a purity in shooting the pilo

Because it was ours

It was completely hour

and we were a team

And there was so much camaraderie and excitement and joy

We felt like a family

Like we were on a journey and we were just embarking on the show

We're a bunch of strangers that now have to live together on an island

In reality were a bunch of strangers then

Now they live together on an islan

And they created kind of a complicated

Suspenseful pilo

that they assumed there was no way

That they were ever going to have to make more of guys

Where are we

When it actually got picked up as a series

It was like , oh shit

It's the abc mega hit that has its fans burning up the net with rumors

The plane crashed and they took off overnight stars in tv's hot new phenomenon

The show blew up so quickly

i went and did comic con two thousand and four in the summer between shooting the pilot

and the show airing

And we filled an auditorium of three thousand people

I was like , how do people even know we exist

How do they know they liked the show

They haven't seen it yet

but there was this crazy buzz

And we knew that when the pilot aire

that either it would be a phenomenal success

Or it would be a dismal failure

That there would be no middle ground

and i remember the night we all went out after the pilot

And we all looked at matthew and he's like , yeah

You can throw away your boxes no

Because we

We like bought tv and bought , like i

Kind of kept all our boxes in case we had to return it

It , it didn't make any sense

You know

it's sort of like the amount of people that watched your show

Is like the amount of people that watches the

The super bowl

It doesn't make any sense

I never watched the pilot episode because it was a playing crash in it

I'm a bit of a nervous player

I still to this day have not seen the pilo

hhhh

We have to go back

What's that i said

We have to go back

I said it really quietly

My name is bobby moya han

And i am , uh , the world's biggest lost fan

And if you think you're a bigger lost fan

Come find me

i liked that it was a little

I'm i guess snobby to like loss

I liked being like oh yo

I know everything about i

And you don't like i i enjoyed it

I have acquired some lost props over the years

We'll start off small

I have the giant fish biscuit machine

Ha ha ha ha ha morning it's nine feet tall

The shipping was more expensive than the thing itself to ship it from hawaii

But it came with like dirt on i

And i was like this is lost dirt

And i was like psyched about it

Wife not a psych

It was in our living room for a super super long time

Just knowing documentaries i can't wait to see this insane montage

I have a couple darma beers

Darma macaroni and cheese

Four toad statue , the pneumatic tube with the notebook in it

Oh i have a darma jump suit

I have a virgin mary statue

I got stopped at the airpor

And they were like what is this

And it was a virgin mary statu

with two bags of rolled up brown sugar

Made to look like heroin inside of it

So i'm standing there cracking open a a thing going

I'm gonna go to jail for heroin

This is a lost prop

While we were shooting the pilot in hawaii

Tom cruz called and asked if i would meet with him

jj went to maine to go on vacation with this family

And i went back to la and started working on episode two

By time we were four or five episodes in

He was full time directing mission impossible three

Okay , now what

What's the rest of the show gonna be

Episode two was the continuation of the pilot

Which second episodes frequently are

And then we hit the next episode called walkabout

And that really defined the show

You know , they didn't think about early with the lik

Standing in the wheelchair and stuff

And did they

No

Because then there was gonna be picked up

but you just could've sworn all those things like they're so good

Weaving that stuff where god the reveal at the animals in a wheelchair

So good

Spoiler alert that's like the best moment ever

Like when he stands

But i mean i still get chills thinking about it

I'd never aske

What was gonna happen

i didn't know that he was in a wheelchair

When we started shooting the sho

Until that episode was delivered to me

I didn't know that that had been the case

That was a great reveal

I thought how cleverly they were able to hid

the fact that he was in a wheelchair

The entire episode until that final moment was a gut punch

Hey don't you walk away from me

You don't know who you're dealing with

Don't ever tell me what i can do ? ever

I thought , well , this is wonderful

No way i can tip anybody off

Because i don't know what's gonna happen

And i wanted to continue that

They they said you want to know

And i said i don't want to know

I like , uh , having surprises . just like everyone

I still have people talk about it

They say i'm sorry to bother you

and i say bother me

because like what we should all have somebody come up and tell us that we were great

Once a day

That would be nice

I have heard . and don't tell me what i can do

But only on occasion

most of the time people just ask me if i'm lost

It broke the box

I have an image in my head of lost airin

and this like cube box of like this

Nineteen ninety five t

I had probably in my house being like broken open

Of like what you can do with t

Because before then it was like , oh no

That's gonna be a movie

That's gonna be a movie thing

nothing , nothing came to on tv

and they just broke that wide open two thousand

And four was kind of the height of reality television

And then there were procedural episodic dramas like csi

Law and order

And then there were sitcoms

And that was basically what was on television

You start seeing this sort of new golden age

Particularly in the area of sterialized drama

Which is something that television had never really kind of gone all in on before

Soon you're getting so many shows that are

You know , prestige television

But loss was incredibly unique at a tim

When audiences and tv networks for craving unique

Tonight we're gonna take you to a mysterious island

Almost no one knows where it is

But millions of people have become obsessed with what's going on there

I got introduced to the sho

Because i had a friend who was like

Hey man , there's the show it's on ab

And there's dinosaurs in it for sure

I didn't think it was gonna be a scifi show

I thought it was just gonna be a show about people just stranded like

You know , like lord of the flies or something like that

No , this was so much more

Everybody already had their preconceived notions as to what

What the whole thing was about , you know , is it pregatory

Was they all dead

Blah blah blah

Oh , we know they were purgatory the whole time

No , they were not

I don't think you watched the same thing

I watched the island was not purgatory

It was never purgatory

We never talked about it being purgatory

and the first thing

We ever said to each other in that writer's room was that the island is not purgatory

The show is a bit like an iceberg , right

you only see the top ten percent above the water

and there's a whole lot of mythology that exists beneath the water

Loss was that rare television show that expected more out of its viewers

It did get complicated and it did force you to pay attention

You know , which i think is a good thing

It's just really an important part of our lives

I mean , you know , there's like relationships and jobs and food and sex and lost

I mean in many way

The the story of lost is really a story of its phandom

it was this really special moment

Where you still had whole family sitting down to watch the same thing

now you can be into a really cool show

And you're kind of hard pressed to find community face to face around that show

i think there is some level of enjoyment of that show

Because of the connection it inspired between the people watching i

Groups of people who didn't know each other

When you found out they were lost fans

You were all a part of the club to me lost

These are the equivalent of trekies

If you love star trek you're a treky

If you love lost

You're a los

Lost fans

Lost fans are the best

Curiou

A little weird

Ha ha ha ha ha

I don't know if i can really describe a typical lost fan

you swing the swing the camera over to rhhhha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

It's a deeply invested community

So when someone comes to talk to you about it they mean it

You know they have things to say

The last fan community is the most unbelievable community

their incredibly bright

You have to be to keep up with the sho

And so devoted loss fans are awesome

Kidding

They have such good taste as well . ha ha h

Love logic , love to figure things out

But also have huge hearts and are really emotional

so it's almost like everybody who didn't fit in

But was a really great student is a lost fa

And myself included

Hi mean we're all goonies , right

The whole pitch was larger than life

I think it drew a certain kind of viewer

it's okay to call this nice

Ha ha ha h

Lost to me is the nerd disguised as the jock , right

And you're like , wait a second

That's not a joke , that's a nerd

And i don't think that many people found that out until maybe the later seasons

The fans took ownership of it

They sort of took this thing that we were working o

And went , it is our

And you must serve u

Because they were so passionate

Everyone was like , this is wil

Because people were so into it

You find yourself convinced that loss is just this little projec

I do with my friends

we grow in the forest and the beaches

And we do this little stories and stuff like tha

And then like going , oh

We might be a bigger deal tha

you think it really brought people together in this really cool way

Where people were lik

This was my show with my fiancee or my roommate or my dad

Even now , you know i walk into a restaurant or something like that

Like it might take people a little second

You know that i go to school with you

But then i'll get it

You know i'm standing up all in the place

I was walking in new york city

but a family comes towards me

And they look at me and the devil bac

And they go do it just another little better the visio

and i took me a while to figure out what there was saying

And i oh the better of the ooh the los

and they were from spain

And i go oh yes

See ? so another little pread of the go

And that's when i was like

Oh all right , all right

You know this is like nothin

I've been on before

This is this is a serious phenomenon

I was in a group caught him kt

Let's get it on like barbie

Yeah

like half the way ride the sun for you like

And we are doing the macy's parade in new yor

And kiss was behind us

They were talking about how they left lost

You know what i'm saying i was like this is so crazy

We got kids behind

They talk about loss

We about to go perform it's just like , you know

So i was always getting moments like that

You know people you would never expect that i loved the show

I mean , when i saw my picture in usa today

i knew that i was through the fucking looking glass

because i've been in this business fifty years

and nobody ever gave a fuck and lost changed that to a great degree

and lost change it in part

Because of the kind of fans that it ha

not fans that will come up to you

And say weren't you so and so

No , they know because they've seen the episode more than once and they're

They're not just high and goofing on the fucking trees

They're serious about it

They're way more serious than i ever was better

I think loss fans really helped change t

Because the writers challenge the audience

Like here , here is full diversity

Here is subtitles

Here is relationships that are taboo

You got a midwestern white girl with an iraqi soldier back the

That just stretched everyone's perceptions

And the audience stood up and said , yes

We want more of that

So for me

I love and praise the lost fans for doing that

For showing the world

Hey , we want more intelligent writing

Diversity and inclusion and the way life really is

The show was asking a lot of big questions

You know , that i was asking

Why am i here

What is my purpose

i was told that i was going to hell at a very early age

Because i'm gay and i had already attempted suicide

I credit lost for saving my lif

Because i didn't have a lot of support back then

and the message boards opened up

This just vastness of friendship

And people from all over the world that i could speak to

About my favorite characters

About what was going on and theories and everything like that

The anonymity that online was able to give you

Nobody could hear my flamboyant voice

They could just get to know me for me

And that was one of the first times i'd ever felt that way

And the lost community gave me that

the fuselage was this crazy

New concept that you might have a place to build a community around a show

And i know the show runners read everything

I always cared what people thought about the sho

And i always wanted everybody to love the show

I'm just not wired in a way to sa

I'm writing the show for me and i can only please mysel

And i don't give a shit what anybody else thinks

It was very important to me that people liked it

So like once i started working on the show

My dad became like an internet sleut

And like he was on the boards all the time

i remember he would print them out

And then bring them home and show me like what people were saying

And in terms of look

Do phandom opinions influence the show as a debate that's been going on since the internet came out

Um

Yes , they influence the show

Obviously they influenced the show

Do they drive the show creatively

No

do they maybe put a little bug in your ear about something that

You might talk about in the room

Of course

niki and palo is really the first time

i can think of the internet

Truly affecting the course of a shows ar

where it seemed like the backlash around them

Sort of forced the show runners into murdering them

Niki and palo weren't written out because of the fan

They were written in because of the fans

Who are those other people like

What are their names

What experience are they having

It just kept coming up

So we were like , uh

Okay

Let's . let's try that

I hated niki and pullo

The moment they showed up on screen

I was like , what fresh hell is this

and so we just knew as soon as we got into the editing room from the first time

That they were standing in the background of the scene

And then they started talking to our characters

Hi , i'm nicki , that there was just this feeling of like

Where did these people come from

The hell i watching never heard these names before in my life

Nan ipablo , dude , you know their names . nicki and powell

It was almost instantly like a board aboard aboard

By time the episodes aired

We had already written them off the show

We did what you have to do in a circumstance like that

You have to bury them alive

But you get to expose

And now it's like the most polarizing episode of lost in the run , right

Brasil dazzle

I feel like expose gets a bad rap

Exposes better than you remember it's great billy d williams is in it

How are you gonna be mad at that episode

It's great nikkemichae

We found the bud

and now she's buried the li

the show kind of came up at the same time as social media

and and i think lost fans were some of the first to utilize

Social media to create these communities

I mean twitter was invente

While we were shooting lost

it was like the first time that you would have like instant

Feedback from audience members that were watching the thing

You know , as it was unfolding . it was really wild

And i remember saying like

This is a flash in the pan

No one wants to read an opinion of one hundred and forty characters

You can have any nuance

This won't last . ha ha ha ha ha ha

And by the end i remember watching it on twitter

Like live watching on twitter with the cast

it's like i'm tweeting and daniel day kim is tweeting

And that was me watching lost on a wednesday

I was like this is think it was thursda

Then was like this is great

Me and all my friends watching my favorite show

Our favorite show

Loss

Aired at a tim

Just before we got binging

When loss started it was really appointment television

Like if you missed it that night

Unless you add a vcr and you set your vcr

That was it

But as the show went on

On demand was becoming a thing

If you had cable you could watch things on demand

This was before streaming

She couldn't just but people had tivo back then

That was a huge thing that people were tebowing lost

so we went from being the water cooler show that

everyone had to watch on wednesday night to go

And talk about on thursday morning

To being a show that you could say

Don't tell me anything because i recorded i

And i'm gonna watch it on saturday

And that had never happened before

And i remember when the dvd sets came out

how people would say now i can sit down and watch the whole season

Because i didn't want to watch it week to week

I wanted to wait till the dvds came out

what the dvds did was they brought in more audience

Because people were starting to get used to benc

Watching shows on dvd and notoriously dvds

don't pay writers a lot of money and residuals

Because the studios argued that they spent so much money developing the technology

They didn't know if it would turn a profit

And you know , about two years later we went on strike

So ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

And so it really was positioned in this special time and place

And so much of what makes something a pop culture phenomeno

Isn't was it the best

Isn't the creators actually knew what they were doing when they said

Oh , this is what the world wants right now

It just happened to be the right place

The right time and the right thing

And that was lost

Imagine creating a show

Being a part of a sho

That has that much influence in power over people's hearts and minds

Daily thoughts and workplace conversations

It was inescapable

People were talking about it everywhere

I'm gonna do a quick impression of me watching loss here's m

Every single time it goes to a commercial during the show

Loss here's me ready

What the fuck is going on here

So how about lost this season

The first season of lost on dv

That's the meaning of christmas

No , it's a metaphor

It represents a lack of payoff

Hey , maybe we can go to the island from loss

No , i don't want to listen to

Matthew fox is heavy breathing

keith

What is the dorma initiative

My relationship with loss is not your business

it's extremely personal

The island

It was mythical

But in the end they died

I didn't understand it

But i tried at the beginning

I loved the wor

And i really hated the fame

I'd reached a point in my life

I was being trailed by pop parazi

I couldn't go to the beach in hawaii anymore

That was the thing that made m

Desperately want to get out of my contract

I wanted to quit

I wanted to leave the show

They did have like a very big idea for kate

They wanted her to be really interesting

They wanted to give her a sorted and dark past

Which often wasn't done with women

But was done much more with men

They would make a ma

Have , you know , made a lot of bad decisions

But you follow him in his journe

And he's redeemable and you love hi

And it was like that's the male story

The female story was like she's so perfect that you can't fault her

You know , which is a sham

Because then females watching movies and tv back then we're like , oh

So in other words

I have to be perfect to be love

And a man gets to be flawed and be loved

And they were really breaking that mold with kate

Which was exciting and i loved that

and then

And then the triangle took over you . ready , ready

Jack or sawyer

Jack or sawyer

Jack or sawyer

Who is kate gonna hook up

I don't know i'm all about kate and who she ends up with

I don't care a ha ha ha ha ha ha

And my character really became about jack and sawyer

And she bounced between the

in this very fickle love triangle

Where i don't think it was a very good look for her

I was hungry for her to have more interesting materia

And you know something better to do than run around after two boys

At the beginning of the show especially

there was a lot more of a sense that the island had a very active psychic plane

And a lot of that had to do with walt

And look , people are like , well

They never really said whether walt was psychic

Walt was psychic

Walt manifested the polar bear

Okay , it's pretty clear from the episode that he did , right

So we knew that from the beginning

And you know , maybe the network wasn't excited about the idea that wealth was psychic

At the time that we were working on the pilot

We were at least saying that we were playing by michael cryton rules

We were using genre

But there had to be some sort of scientific basis for the genre

Unlike indiana jones rules

Which is like , yeah

There's crazy ghosts coming out of the fucking ar

And they will melt your faces off

I think that we knew that the show wanted to be in indiana jones show

But it had to present as a michael cryton show

And then i had an idea

I'm a dog person

Right

Vincent wasn't the most trained dog

And the dog was literally having the best time of his life

Like on the beach

You know , jumping in the beach water like running around

So it was good

But you know , like i said

It was a task trying to get a mistake here

And he was somebody's lab who kind of can follow her and do things

So i went up to her and i said

What if i want vincent to swim after the raft

Don't tell me he's the only lab in the world that won't jump in the ocean

She said no , he'll jump in the ocean

but the only way he'll follow the raft is if i'm on it

I said okay , great

So we put her on the raft

We get our cameras on the raf

and

We see everyone on the shor

waving in all those beautiful shots

And vincent now jumps in the water away from maggie grac

and is swimming toward it

And then i get the coverage of waltz saying

Go back vincent , go back

Vincent , go back vin fixit

Go back

Oh my god

I could cry . remember in it

Every dog lover in the world loved that moment

And i didn't tell damon and carlton i did it

They went , oh my god

Being on the raft was a great thing too

I was just amazing

Like that thing was actually just floating and just being out there

God

I loved that raft

We had to sell that damn thing

They left us in the middle of the ocean with that thing

And we were sailing it

You know , no boats could be around because it's a helicopter shot

So it's like wide and

And we were going to kawaii in that little bamboo thing was like

Oh ly chen , it works

I looked at it as a rescue

Not , not so much a kidnapping

I mean

I saw a child with a group of adults that none of them seem to be really responsible

And they were floating in the ocean lost and certain to die

So i thought i was saving him

I mean , oh my god , here's actually another person in a boat

And he's so go over , hey , hey

Oh well look way , wow , you doing that

I don't remember what i said

But that kind of stuff all way

Well , it's really great , great here

We're gonna have to take the boy

We're gonna have to take the boy

What

What'd you say bom bom bom boom

Tune in next year

What

I was short for my age

So i'm playing a younger character

But i'm about to be sixteen seventeen . it's time for braces

It was gonna get very clear that unless we wanted to write

Oh my god

Walt is growing up in an advanced rate

We sort of have to figure out a way of dealing with that issue

Maybe it was a failure of creativity on our part

Maybe it was just that we were workin

so quickly to try to tie up

So many loose ends in the show

you know it's it's one of the failings of the show that we could not figure out

How to do that or did not figure out how to do that

Ah , that first season finale that's all you wanted to know

There was literally nothing else that mattered in the worl

Other than what is in the hatch

Jj always wanted the hatch

He wanted the hatch in the pilot

And then jjj goes yeah

And they find a hatch

Okay

And it was like

No idea what that means

But it was like , okay

Just the fact that there's a hatch

Whether , you know , how do we open the hatc

And what is inside the hatch and what do we find

I just knew i wanted to know those answers

But what those were i didn't kno

and it was a big struggle between jj and damon

Because damon was like if i don't know what's in the hatch

I'm not putting it in the show

And jj was like but it's the mystery box

And damon was like yeah

But what you don't want is for the audienc

Soap in the mystery box and find disappointment

Could you just tell us what's in it

No , i can't tell you anything

I want you i want you to see it to yourself

Do you know what's in h

No

But i'm hoping it's gonna be a gay night club

Damon runs in and says i got it

And we're like what

And he goes there's a ladder

and if you go down the ladder there's like there's like a room

and inside the room there's a guy

And if he doesn't type these numbers into a computer the world end

And we're like that's what's in the hatch . he's like yep

We're like all right , by the way

If you told me that i'd be like that can't be that

Ha ha ha ha ha

Look , i would never have guessed it

I you asked me what's in the hatch

No

I don't know what the fucking tell yo

A guy with a button

I who could guess that , uh , no one

What is the garmin you should do

Uh

I couldn't give you a definite answer to what the dharma initiative was it

It sounds kind of cool though

Dorma is an acronym for the department of heuristics in research on material applications

It was one of the first things that damon actually pitched to the room

He said that in his conception

There had been a , uh , corporation called the medusa corporation

there was always an idea that a group of scientists

Kind of got together and designed all of this tech

The dharma initiative met its untimely demise

Uh , once the hanzo foundation cut its funding

And then that's when they were met with the hospells or the others

I'm james

I'm terry

I'm woody

Where are the others

That was a very unison guy

Wow

The others are mysterious

Other people who live on the island

Usually background actors are just stanner around , you know

Yeah

Not us

No

It started off with passing around the mud jar

So we would pass around the mujar

Remember we just get all muddied up grime

Yep

And they didn't want to ever to wash our clothes

i remember one time i came back next season

And my candy wrappers from season before was still in my pockets

They don't wash the clothes

They don't wash costume

That's the shah right there

Which one which one we have to sneak

We have to sneak our photo , take photos

Hu chuck chuck and that's how way and get our photos

I'm jonathan mancuda and i'm known to lost fan

As the big mean other of season six

So abc decided you know what

We don't need all this

We're going dump some of the other stuff

Dumb some of the other stuff

But said no , no no

I'll i'll take it

You just let me know where you're throwing it ou

And they basically say yeah , that dumpster over there

And in that dumpster i pulled out beer cans dorm of food

I mean i was saving pieces of the show

You know , chris as a fan

It's importan

It's history . it's tv history

The attention to detail on the show

On the props , on the costumes is incredible

A lot of the dorma products themselves wore real food

Dorma beer was odles

it was so duel's non alcoholic beer

So that sawyer could just pop it into duel

And look like he's drinking beer darmours

We're malo morris . the malo morris cookies

The chocolate covered marshmo with graham

oh god , those are delicious , aren't they

do you remember the numbers

no god no i don't but i'm sure hohe does

the numbers

Four , eight , fifteen , sixteen , twenty one

Four eight fifteen sixteen twenty three forty tw

We'll edit that out

Do you know the lost numbers

No

No . michael michael hasn't for eight fifteen sixteen twenty three forty two

That's an intriguing mystery

What's with the numbers i don't remember the numbers to other people

No way

Not a million years . no

No

No

forty three

No four , eight , fifteen sixteen , twenty three , forty two never knew him

Uh , let me try

Let me try so i can embarrass myself and make the fans feel great

Eight , sixteen twenty four

Thirty six forty eight ha ha ha

Forty two thirty eight hike

I don't remember the numbers

But i know what they mean

What do they mean

That's the thing is everyone's like we don't know what we never found out

You found out what the numbers meant from the lost experience

It's on you guys

Now you point i go

May the force be with you

It was like a like an internet scavenger hun

That led to a secret recording

i'm alvar also , that was at the very end

it was revealed that those numbers were the variable for

What would wipe out thirty percent of the population

If you were able to change just one of those numbers

You would keep humanity

And then somehow it turns out that those variables are people

It got really overbored with the numbers

I think my favorite was like the the soccer team jury

Look out

I would hide them in snl sketches

Hey , i'm in twenty three seed

Sorry

No one knows this besides me

No one cares there's no jokes in it

Like i would just shoot a horn

Lost references into snl sketches constantly

Hi , i'm hurley from lost

You know what ? i got a theory about your show

Yeah

What's that yeah

You guys got no idea what's going on in that .

I think on my dating app

I once said like my measurements are forty

Fifteen , sixteen , twenty three , forty two

I also sometimes said that that's my phone number

Ha ha

I just remembered the numbers because i'm a degenerate card player

How many people are doing this

How many people are playing that number

I've never played it on the lottery

But how many people are playing those numbers on the lottery

I was like wouldn't it be weird if these numbers actually won

And for this mt su student

The numbers did win in last night's mega millions lottery

which i don't know why you would play this number

because then that means you guys share the money with all these people

If it ever does come up

brian and an estimated twenty five thousand other loss fans

decided to play those same numbers in the real mega millions lottery

And they won

A lot of people ask m

If i ever actually played these numbers in the lottery myself

My answer is always the same

No

The numbers are bad

when we were starting out and trying to figure out

What the sound of this thing is gonna be

I remember some some execs at ab

Being like

Oh would be great if it were like a a jungle thing with flute

And this and that

And i was like , no

I don't think so

I think it needs to be a little weirder than that

And i remember when that you were shooting the pilot

I talked to brian birt

And he goes , i'm walking on the beac

And there are just pieces of the airplane all around me

I told them we're just surrounded by all these plane parts

And he said , well , if you could pack them up and bring them back

but maybe i can use them in in the score

The airplane parts for a big part of the percussion setup

And they would bang on the airplane things and can use them as drums

Essentially they gave me such freedom to just d

What i want it with the shows

And it was incredible

And i think that's why it remains one of my favorite things that i've done

Because i feel like of all the scores

It's probably the most m

Most of the commercial breaks

Especially in the first season

It was like , wow

That sound i would make fun of hi

A lot about like the sort of trumbone

You know , falls that he would do at the end of , you know

I'm like you can't end every act like wow

Like you can't come on , give us one act out that doesn't

I remember jj calling my goes

Do we have to do that at every single commercial break

And i was like , yes , we do

From the very early days

We were hearing you're making this up as you go along

You don't know the answers to any of these mysteries

And when you reveal the answers to these mysteries

We're going to be disappointed at the time when we were doing , you know

Twenty two episodes , uh , a year

It

it was unrealistic to assume that

If you were to do a five or six year show that you were gonna know

You know , every , every step of the way

I don't think they could have known everything

I just don't

They couldn't have anticipated some of the cast departures

They couldn't have anticipated which cast members were going to pop

And so because of those variables

They could not have had everything mapped out

The journey of loss is like a road trip from new york to los angeles

You know , you're gonna hit certain cities along the way

But you don't exactly know how you're gonna get ther

And how long you're gonna stay

Damon had a great attitude about stuff like you

Like , you know , you paint yourself in corner

Just start climbing the walls

And i was like , all right

we were definitely making stuff up as we went along

because you can only basically lay the track that's right in front of you

so that the train keeps moving

And then the train has to slow down in order for you to start designing more track

i think a lot of the character journeys changed and evolved

Based on the brilliant performances that were being given by the actors in the show

Like with michael emerson's character

He was booked for three episode

And the moment he said got any milk

You guys got any milk

Damon and carlton called me and said , we've gotta keep him

He's a genius

I remember a couple from new zealand

They crossed the street on two consecutive days to tell me that i had ruined the show

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

And i , i thought , what did you think that show was about

did you think it was like

Fantasy island are something that it was gonna be a fun romance with lots of attractive castways

It's it's a bigger agenda than that y'all

You know , there's stakes here , there's villainy

No one really knew what was gonna happen

Which was fun and exciting

But also there was a practicality of it of oh well

Hang on , am i , am i gonna be working anymore

Am i like what's happening

And am i going to get the script tomorrow

That's saying , oh , claire falls down the well

Bye

There were a lot of wtf moments unlost

And a lot of very shockingly sad moments

When michael shot analucia and libby

I jumped off my couch

I i could not believe it

But also michael killed them

That's crazy

I forgot about that

Like michael's a good guy

These murder straight up murdering people

The tailies were were a way of bringing a new story

Bringing in new carrot acters and mixing things up a little bit

It wasn't like we all sat in the room as hey

Let's introduce a bunch of new character

And then get rid of them all

They were problems . sometimes with the character

Sometimes with the actor playing the character

Sometimes both

um , there are a few people had

trouble with the law which um

Power didn't look great

Uh , synthu watchross and michelre ady guez

It was coincidental

Apparently they both got dui

is the fact that the name of the episode

They were both killed off in is called two for the road

Yeah , if you get in trouble with the police

Then your character dies immediately the next day

That that's what happens ? i'm lost , uh

I'm sure that these scrapes with the law didn't help

But some of the main characters also had scrapes with the law

And they managed to stay on the show

So , you know , you can't just say , well

This person got a dui

And that's why they got kicked off the show

The reality is always more subtle and more nuance

You know , the actor who played mr

Echo

That character was gonna be a very significant character

and they had to pivot

because he didn't want to live in hawaii

And commit to living in hawaii to be on a show for another four or five seasons

Did you see that

Did you see that

That's the dinosaur i'm telling you about

You know , i don't know what it is still to this day

But dinosaur sounds pretty good for the monster

I think that the working idea was that it was like the movie forbidden planet

which was that there was some sort of a security system that had been designed

And it presented as whatever it was that you were most afraid of

And maybe nanotechnology was involved

It's so funny when you said what , what is the smoke monster

My first thought was it's just the sound and the cabs

What used to happen is whenever used to get out of a cab

Um , that the receipt would come up and be like

The sound your hearing is the receipt thing

But the reason why i wanted is so subconsciously

Anyone in new york city would be walking around

And they'd be hearing this familiar sound

and they wouldn't know why they'd be in ch

I just wish we had gotten no

I mean just a little bit further with the the tailies

I think all in all , i mean who are we

Have left bernard there's this thing called a podcast

And people talk and it's sort of like the radio

But it's not the radio

Did i listen to any lost podcast

All of them

They kind of became my drivetime listening going to se

Because the commute for loss was an hour

You , uh

you're interviewing ryan for this oh

Well you know there was a photo of ryan basically like wanted poster

Like keep an eye for this gu

Because he's gonna spoil the show

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

And i knew where he wa

because they listened to his podcast

Ryan , first off is just one of the best people

Sweet , kind , soft spoken , true nerd

And he and his wife john did this podcast called the transmission

They look like your typical millie lny family

But when the kids go to bed

Aloha welcome you tuned into the transmission

Jen and ryan ozawa turn into internationally known podcasters

They had the most amazing lost podcast , ryan and jen

And they were very fine with , um

Sharing spoilers and no one judged them for it

So hawaii law is unique in that anybody has access to any beach

Public access to shore lines or pas

So they can't stop you from coming and watching or frankly walking through the set

they really wouldn't care until i would pick up a camera

And then they would leap into actio

And stand right in front of the camera

At the time i would say it was a friendly

You know , cat and mouse situation

But i tried to be the best stalker i could b

And not really get in their way

I think that in terms of the crew

We kind of came to a general understanding that i'm going to d

What i'm going to do

Fans has got a fan

Production has got a production

I never saw a ryan as a problem to the show

I saw him as a fan

and so like i liked the fact that he had a podcast out there about the show

And they were talking about the mysteries of it

Their website and internet broadcast get at least twenty thousand hits each week

There was definitely a family affair

We had kate dukind of the intro when she was old enough

I do have memories of sitting in front of a microphone

Dad giving me a piece of pape

And he's like , okay , say this transmission episode forty three

November eight , two thousand eight

I remember staying up late to watch my parents watch the show

Basically because i didn't know what was going on

a

Carly is my hero

Okay

My name is jay glad filte

Jack leffolder

And we are jane jack hhh

My podcast is the last podcast with jay and jack

Do you know that ? side note

Do you know that jay and jack , the older guy , his dad

Do you know the auditions for survivor

Once the reason i believe i make the ultimate survivor a very competitive person

I have the ability to push myself to the limi

And i will never let myself quit

Just a weird fact from bobby moya hand

Why didn't you know what a podcast was

Yeah

I mean , yeah

He kept mentioning this podcast thing

I go

Yeah , whatever kid it's just get so fun to just debate and talk about it

You know

and i think that's what makes the show lost so good

And why you have well over a hundred lost podcast about it

Because it brings up such great discussion

You don't mind to talk a bit about colleagues

Didn't you guys meet through the podcast or something

Yeah

No . it's it's crazy like because of this tv show

I met my wife and then my kids exist because of this tv show

My name is calling glad filter

I am the wife of jay , of jay and jac

And the mother of zack and alex

And i am a lost fan

I had listened to podcas

And was like , let me check ou

See if there's any lost ones

I was like , oh hey there's jay that's the voic

Now i he's got a real face

He's a person

And then i was like , he's kind of cute

And he's super nice

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Now i'm getting bred

Steve jobs went up on stage and said

Look at itunes

It's amazing

You can go on itunes and you can download loss

There will be an episode of lost broadcast tonight

You can buy it tomorrow

And what happened was people would be like

I want to do that

They downloaded itunes

They searched for lost

And they got us

They're like one of the most popular podcasters in the country

I was just being told that , uh , more popular than espn npr podcast

I mean there's some heavyweights out there

And and they're top of them

I didn't check the list obsessively

I never checked the top ten

Ha ha ha ha ha

Yeah

We always check the top ten

Hi , i'm chris um

And i produced the official lost podcast

I took the idea to the publicist for lost at the tim

And i said hey

We should do a podcast for lost here

You looked at me and said what's the podcast

Hello everyone and welcome to the official lost podcast hosted by abc dot com

Every show has a podcast

Now that is official

everybody tried to mimic the format that lost it

And lost kind of just sort of trail blazed it

Okay

Um

Can you , can you hold that a little more

As loss continued to be a massive success

the writers knew that they wouldn't be able to keep

telling the story of the survivors of the crash of oceania

fight eight fifteen

Without knowing when the show would end

Okay , it's a massive hit show

The business of television is to keep hits on the air for as long as possible

This is not the era of limited series

This is the era of if you have a great idea for television sho

And it's a hit

We're gonna make you do it forever

So we get into season thre

When we get jack

Kate and sawyer trap on a hydra island with no way out

The lost writers are creating a metaphor for their own plight

they're looking around at the board going

We gotta do twenty two episodes

Like maybe some of them have to be bad

The question was

How do you keep the show going

And my answer was always

Well

You can't keep it going foreve

Because it's a mystery show

I have to give initial credit to stephen king

We went and we did an interview with stephen king and maine

And one of the things that he said to us was

You guys are gonna need to end your show

I know that damon , jj , carl

Everyone wanted this to have a proper resolution

But it was something that had to really fight for

i was obsessed with getting an end date

And nobody else wanted to have the conversation or envisioned it as possible

So when we said we wanted to negotiate an end date

They were just like , that was crazy

but we stuck to our guns and damn

And i threatened to quit the show if we didn't get an endat

Right about the time they get that

In season three

Lost reframes and reboots with a completely kind of new approach to storytelling

We get this fantastic stretch of episodes

Because of shows like lost

I think shows are more willing to be like no

We gotta end it here and season five so we can stick the landing

And i think because loss didn't stick the landing in certain people's eyes

Other shows have benefited from that

I don't think you make a show no

Without thinking about the end game

Because of shows like lost

When i started writing about lost

The words spoiler was sort of new to me

And i think to a lot of the lost community

Every interviewer would be like

What can you tell us

But they knew

Uh , that we couldn't say anything

You know , everybody was trying to get to scoop

You know , we had to keep it under wraps

I'm like bro , i'm only getting portions of the script

I really , i really can't even tell you if i wanted to

You know , they would messenger us scripts in these like unmarked envelopes

Like to our front doorsteps

Sometimes we'd only get pages

Script security became a big deal on that show

And it has been a big deal on every sho

I've worked on since then

You know god we got like red scripts

So you couldn't photocopy them

Now people would be like , why is it red

It's no point , just take a picture

And it was nerve wracking because your name was on every script

So you had to make sure no one took that thin

And leaked it out and people did

I thought it was absolutely ridiculous

I was like , this is not the formula for the next adam bomb

This is a tv show

and you're asking me to put a lockbox outside of my front door

So you can deliver my scripts

I was a stubborn kid who was like , fuck bad

I i am not doing it and i never did

i was never a believer in having to do red scripts

Or to keep scenes away from the actors

These are the people that i trust the most

The actors in the crew

We had to shoot different people in the coffin

Josh is like , what the fuck does this mean

Am i dead

and is like , you couldn't tell josh that he was a herring

because you're actually asking the actor to come in and shoot a piece of film

that's never gonna be in the show

Just to kind of throw people off the scent

But it's difficult because someone like me

I'm i talked too much and i'm too open anyway

So it's hard

I have to really go

Oh , i kinda liked you that people would ask me

You know , what about this

I think , you know , i can't tell you

I like that because doesn't it build that christmas morning feeling

That feeling of like

I am looking forward to something

And yes , i want to know

But i don't really want to know je's added too

But pois like , listen , if i want to give you a present

i want to be able to wrap it and present it to you

the way i wanted to present to you

and a spoiler

Is like

Here i got your watch

If you tell someone i know what happens in the lost finale

Do you want to know it's almost too tempting to resist

There were sites that specifically got hit

Because they would post for thers

Have you had anybody tell you that they were spoiled for the season three

Okay

So i was on dark ufo all the time

And i , i went there , i clicked on it

It was all my fault

You know , i was like , i want to know

Tell me about it

The flash forward

I mean , actually i could talk about it

And i just got , uh , goose bump

Because that was a game changing moment from television

We have to go back

kate

we have to go back

Jack with the beard standing there screaming

We have to go back

I was standing up in my living roo

staring at the tv going

Like holy shit

this is the

And trying to to people who weren't on th

We all weren't at the same place as it was happening of like wai

What's happening lik

Yeah shit it's so goo

When charlie holds up the knot pennies boat thing

it was another one of those moments where i was like both shocked

but i was screaming and cheering at the same time

And there's just isn't anything like i

It's so why did you kill charlie

They told me to ha ha ha i was told to

I remember being on on the se

and and here comes dominic walking and we're about fifty feet away

and i start shaking my head

And before i could say anythin

He looked at me as say

So right andrew , so right

And when i shot it

We did a few takes of dom in the tan

And i remember he pushed off

I said push of

And if you want to get embryonic or whatever you want to do

Go for it

And he pushed off

And then crossed himsel

and it was so moving

and

I think jj when he saw the episode oh my go

What you had dom do there across himself was devastating

I said wasn't me

I may be smart enough to know when it's brilliant

Say thank you to the to the actress but that was dumb

Boy i i am hated for that

hated for a lot of reasons in different roles

But but killing charlie is is top of the list

I've seen some not pennies boat happens in airport

actually that people will write it on their hand

And just hold up their hand to m

and not make eye contact and like yep

I see you

So do my kids who don't know what haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

God forbid to post something on instagram anywhere near a boat

It's all anyone wants to commenters is that penny's boat , not penny's boat

Kind of like penny's boat

Ha ha ha ha

Today we're counting down our picks for the best tv episodes of all time

The constant star crossed lovers is a story as old as tim

Thwarted by family

Again a trope we know from literatur

Sorted by tears in the spacetime continuum is perhaps a more unusual trope

i like the way they did the train travel in that

Because later on they did the the shaky danced

But i liked that i was just in his head

I think the constant is unique in this stor

And that it's a very standalone episode

and it goes to the crux of

what the show is about in terms of science fiction and love

And what people will do for lov

And the lengths they'll go to

This is my wedding ring

And my wedding ring has an inscription on the insid

And it says and you have her

Which is the last line of pennies letter to desmond

Ha ha ha ha

Because all we really need to survive is one person who truly loves us

And you have her in my wedding vows

Uh , yeah

I'd said my wife is my constant

And she said the same thing and it was sweet

I have said i didn't know that people had me in their wedding vows

That feels really full one

Ha ha ha ha ha

Why haven't seen that for a long time

It's unbelievably moving to be remembere

And in a way that is really meaningful to people

I love having my frames desmond and penny phot

Because people that get it love it

And people that don't are just like who are those people

And then i get to talk about lost

Ha ha ha wo

framed photo fictional couple sure why not

Hello stranger ! hello ha ha h

How are you

Ha ha ha h

I'm sitting here doing

Uh , an interview for a lost documentary

Okay , so they said to me

But you've never watched the show

I can't believe you've never watched our scene

You know the constant

Are you watch that scjust the scene

But you know what's the whole episode

You watch the whole episod

and you can't remember

That's so funny

I get just so many people who will just decide up to me and g

That was , that was my favorite episode

Oh the night always talking about constant

Oh shoots

Oh , can you hear me now

You know , wearing the north shore so . um

Ui lost that

Uh , my honey moon and , um , was

You know what all adults do for their honeymoons

We went on a lost tour

I remember standing on the beach

Going like it's just a beach

But they shot lost here , and i'm very happy

I always felt when i went to hawaii to work on loss

That in a way my experience was a parallel of the character's experience

I flew into the middle of the vast ocea

And landed on a strange island

And i had this magical , adventurous experience

Anyone who goes to wide

You get off and you get the impact of that air

It's like nothing you've ever experienced there's some quality in it

It's just so it's it's beautiful

It's it's almost mystical

But we have to go back , you know

ha ha ha ha

I remember coming out to work every da

And thinking this is our office for the day

This is , this is where i get to wor

and i never took that for granted

and look it's just beautiful right

Hi it's ella here and welcome to camp birdman

You guys might know it as the other's village

How i know it is a summer camp

I've been going here since i was about nine years ol

And it's a lot of fun

These houses though they're not what you think they are

Let's see what they actually look like

Welcome to the cabin

Their sixteen bunk beds in each cabin

They're pretty comfortable and not a lot of people believe me when i say this

But i was on the show

I was baby aaron

Ello was supposed to cry and she did

She cried right on command

so the casting ladies decided to have a reunion of all the baby errands

And so they invited all the mom

And all the babies to get together in the park

And this was pretty hilarious to see all these baby aaron identical yea

Looking identical together . they put them all in these baby aaron t shirts

This is ella right in the middle crying y

Which you're very good at your specialty

Yep

Do you want to read the lette

You wrote on to me from camp

I told some counselors that i am in los

But they don't believe me

So would be cool if you sent a letter and sa

i am in lost

So they will believe me

Love ya ha ha love ella

So i did hawaii for me was so beautifu

And combining it with lost with that experience

It was all just roses

You know where it's where people go for holiday

you know ? and we got to work there

and i could actually like make my coffee

And then just walk down the beach to do the set

And that was pretty great

That was pretty exotic

We we lived really close together

We could walk to each other's houses

It was it's a really innocent time

So we hung out together was showed ai

and whoever was featured would have to host a party

And we'd have a party at their house

Big dinner and cocktails and and sit and watch the show all together

The ellow man is real

People are just a little bit more respectful

I still smile when i see the water

I go i was a great day

Good water . the water how's the water today it's flat

You know , i mean it's like , oh today's it's glassy

And i will say this

I will say this even after twenty years

Every time i work and i travel and i come hom

as soon as the plane touches down

And that door opens is tha

And the island air just comes into the plane

I'm just so happy to be home young to be living her

And that's because of lost

I love hawaians

They really embraced us and the show also i think because we embraced hawaii

We had a lot of locals on the crew

We bring in local priests

You know , to bless the sei love our call sheet

Had a hawaian word of the day

The culture was so respected and in lost

Whenever you saw those beautiful vast views

You fell in love with that

And hawaii was represented in a way that i don't think it had been represented prior

So it was quite beautiful

I think hawaii was really excited to have lost here exclusively here

You know , i mean we shot it would look like bosto

Or we shot and it looked like kuwait

It was all shot here

Lost really made an effort to hire local peopl

And and give back to the economy here

I don't think i've ever done a show with quite as long hours as i did on loss

There is a sense of fulfillmen

Because it was such a popular show and everybody loved it

The phantom of it all

And being on a show that just is off the charts

I mean , i still have people look at me like you worked on lost

It shows like loss that really invest in in u

and i think give us the future to build

and to be able to create the jobs

where people not only make a living

But can have a life that's significant

We knew the show was har

And we were doing some crazy things safe , safely

Um

I think for us

Our film family in hawaii is the really , really tight community

You know , here i embraced being in hawaii

I loved the hawaian community

I missed them

Our whole community there was so beautifu

always just

Kind of just need to take a moment

it's like just . it's such a special

It's not even just a special place

It's a special vibe

It's a special everything there

The energ

And i haven't been back and i need to go back

We have to go back

It was a very long time to be literally stranded on an island

All of us , um , relocated to live in hawaii for the show

there would be weeks that might go by without me

Being called on at all the blessings of a big cast

So i would get a little stir crazy

I realized that if i wasn't working there

I would have a hard time living there

I can only listen to so much

Jack johnson in the elevator

Terry o quinn and josh holloway and navine andrews would bring their guitar

And we would all in between setups

Just sit and talk and sing

a lot of the cast are really good singers

And so we would just have singalongs onse

And you know , when they would call us to work

We like , oh come on

Ha ha ha ha

We've got one more song

Oh

there's a tree on the set just outside of halleleva hawaii

That still bears the mark of all my practice

I have a few of these actually

So yeah , it started out with knives that were had wooden handle

And , um , i , i kept breaking them

Yeah

See the tips a little worn from being buried in that tree

Oh well , good times

People have the illusion that you can just be anywhere in throw knife and hit something or somebody

And , um , i had to be the proper distance knife's gonna spend so many times over so much distance

I still have a knife by my bed

if you come into my house and you break down the door

And you stop the proper distance away

I'll stick . you ha ha ha ha ha ha

I've seen people with tattoos of not penny's boa

And all kinds of things on their body parts

I'm like , wow , you , you really have me with you forever

now i saw a very elaborate and detailed and lifelike

Tattoo of benjamin linuss's freaking face on somebody's body

I thought , well that's cool , it's it's flattering

But you can't ever erase it

Now let's fly a kite take me

There is the sky tonight

Not in thailan

stranger in a strange land

We made an episode called stranger and strange lan

Where we learn how jack gets his tattoos

Next wednesday your tattoos

The answers are finally revealed

What is the significance of jack's tattoos

I don't know it's a five

He was on party of five

I'm assuming that like who cares

The fact that bui ling was in lost makes me laugh how ? why

Sure grea

Getting a last time by the wind . take one

I said . what is the loss

It's a show . i never watched it . i have no crew

I said wow , it's so good

It's like a very good quality of moving

When i watched it

I said i did not know what i jumped into

Oh my god , you're not believe it ever . i got lost

You're lost

I said i just in a basically gestone episode

But everybody as if i was in the whole season , i don't know why

she has a secret doing this tattoo which is connected to the 鹰

我说雄鹰啊，展翅飞翔

let me some you fly high your destiny somewhere else

you want to my stars tears not what i lost

The show was such a big deal

Especially in its final season , that there was a whole controversy about the state of the unio

Preempting a lost episode

I don't , uh

Foresee a scenario in which the millions of people that hope to finally get some conclusion and lost

Uh , are preempted by the president obama's like work cancelling

You know , play lost

Please just let the loss ty shut up

Yeah

I mean that's how big of a dea

It was like the whole nation was like

I'm sorry i , i'd love to know how the country's doing

But as long as it doesn't affect loss

Thanks

Okay

Okay

And hey , here we go

Here we go . go one more

The final episode of los

Was the most anticipated television event of two thousand and ten

Even though the number of weekly viewers had declined from its pea

In the second season

Over thirteen million people tuned in into sea

How the shore would end this day

The finale of loss

Loss remains one of the most divisive and polarizing episodes of television that ever aired

Let's talk about the finale

Oh god great ! my favorite subject

That's gonna be on my headstone

He's still talking about the finale

Here lies damon lindallah

He was dead the whole time

On the inside

How you probably know , um

Sunday night is the series finale of lost

How will it at all

And the final episode of los

was one of the great pop culture

Television events of the twenty first century

I mean you couldn't escape it

It was the most anticipated finale this sunday

Seven six century abc's lost series finale

A lot of people have been waiting six years for this

They're planning viewing parties all over the country

Unless you've been on a desert island yourself

You probably know that abc's hit show lost will end this sunday night

This is the television event of the decade

I have no idea how it can be wrapped up

But good luck to all concerned and here we go

And that whole writers room

We had some of the most cracker jack scribes in the industry

Dang

I remember feeling that whole last season i was getting scared

The closer we got to the end of lik

If they're not telling us stuff now

Like there's no way that it's all gonna be answered tonight

Ha ha ha

You can't wrap up a show like lost with a little pink ribbon and sa

Here's your finale

I mean you can

But i think that would be kind of shittin

and it can't be like any other show

Because it wasn't like any other show

It was operating on a lot of levels

Some of them i'll go ahead and say we're spiritual

A lot of philosophy

But a lot of reference to ancient literature and mythologies

It was a big picture show

It was like a thing that was exploding

Like a nuclear thing that was exploding outward in all directions

So when it comes time to wrap it up

What can you d

But bring it all back into the core of the original explosion

I think sometimes people

They wanted something simpler

Are they wanted neatness

I think , or cleverness

Thank god we weren't clever

In the end

It meant more than that

The longer a story goes

The deeper of an investment someone has in it

so the more hours that someone invests in lost

And those hours aren't just time spent watching the show

But talking about the show

Anticipating the show

If you watched it from the pilots to the end of season six

You probably invested close to a thousand hours of your emotional energy into lost

And so for every hour that someone invests in lost

The ending has to be that much better for them . that's fair , right

Ending anything is really challengin

and ending a show that people don't want to have

And is even more challenging

It's hard like you try it

Everyone's gonna have their own opinion

Everyone's gonna want something different

Everyone's gonna be like , i wanted this

I wanted that

I wanted to hear about that

And i don't know i , i , i like that they kept true to themselve

As far as keeping a lot up to the imagination

To me , the most important part of the show was the characters

And what the finale did is , i felt

Gave closure to the characters and their story together

Like life . it's about the journey

It's not about that ending . so

And that was the sort of takeawa

I always thought it was about the journey

I loved the finale

I really did

And i think if you were that invested in the characters especially

you couldn't not be affected by the finale

Because i just cared so much about all of those people

I was so happy to go back and get to see everybody

I really loved the way they decided to kind of wrap things up with the characters

You know , i thought there was something beautiful there felt like a love letter

Well go touch ha

I love that scene so much

As often in the course of lost

I was confused by by the finale

I didn't know what what's the water is all going out of this

What's i i don't quite understand

I knew there would have to be a confrontatio

between the light and the dark

And i was happy to be representing one's side

I loved the finale because i feel like they

we're so

True to who the characters wer

And what the show ultimately was about

And , and i do think that look , when you have a sho

That inherently has some massive and significant questions

At a certain point

There probably isn't an answer to that that thing i can understand

Some people waiting for a particular thing that they

They wanted to understand and not getting that answer

But that's what life is

We're not to always get the answer

You all this question even lost

You have a lot of questions

But i believe in our mysterious world

A lot of questions are meant not to have answered

You just have to accept

because

It's a mystery

We all saw what happened with star wars and the answer to many questions

Hey people didn't love it

What are you doing

Checking your blood for infections

Loss is not the only show that people you kno

Didn't like the ending

You know , think about how the sopranos ended . people didn't like that

And there's always backlash , particularly with a ravening audience like the lost audience

Half this country votes red and half votes blue

How could you possibly agree on the lost finale

Ha ha ha

I've watched a lot of shows wher

i thought the show was gonna go somewhere

And the ending was like

Wait a minute , wait a minute

You know

We don't want to go into that because ha ha ha ha

I was a huge , uh

Game of thrones fan

Yeah , i didn't look th

I don't want to talk about that

I'm gonna get angry

Oh shit . i'm those people

Yeah , but hold on , sometimes finales are bad

Lost and sopranos they're divisive

Then there's bad . toda

We're counting down our picks for the top ten worst series finallies

nothing rise me up

More than seeing one of those click bait articles that say

Worst finalis of all time

Listen , didn't your mom teach you

If you don't have anything nice to say

Don't publish it on the internet

The show went downhill fast and contained an ending which was just insulting

Let's meet in a church because this is purgatory

What absolute nonsense ! aha

I'll admit there are people who come up to me and say like

Hey man , love the show

Hated the finale

Love the show , but the ending

So how many times have i heard that it doesn't bother me

I know that opinion is out ther

And people are very liberal about sharing that opinion with me

In the subways or on the streets or in the breastrooms

You know

There was a period there after when lost aired where like if you were like i'm a lost fan

People were like , oh you like that dumb show

But i'm not a violent man

But anyone who doesn't like lost , i'm gonna beat up

I feel like i'm a really nice boy

I really am

But if you're not a lost fan

Get the fuck out of my way and on it

I think that people felt very defensive

I feel like we felt some sort of ownership and like protective

I just , i , i was so angry that people were so angry

Like it made me angr

and it's like they created this incredible thing

And then they ended i

How they want

Guess what

It's their show

It's not your show

Some people were happy and they were

I mean , there were some people who were very upset

They were probably enjoying the sho

So much that it wasn't that they were judging

And i'm sure we'll get a lot of calls about this

It wasn't that they were judging the quality or that they felt cheated

They just never wanted to end

I didn't want lost to end

I thought there was more story

I wasn't finished with desmond

You know , i was very sad to see him

go

People were suspicion you were dead the whole time from the getgo

It's very , very frustrating and annoying to talk to peopl

who think they've got it figured out

And then they say one thing and you go

Oh , you don't know that not everyone was dead at the end

like you didn't see that interview with damon linda loft

where he chewed that guy out within three or four episodes of the

Of the first season of the show

They were like it's purgatory , right

They're all dead

And we kept saying we swear to go

They are not all dead

It was like a shared fantasy

I mean , no

So , so , so the things that we're going on the island were happening in the actual world

Yes , the ending of lost is everything that happened , happened

All of that stuff happene

Except for some of this stuff over here

This didn't happen

this was like a little area

we all built for each other to wait to go to heaven together

So that that didn't happen

I'm not a hugely religious person

But the end of loss kind of gave me this thing of like

You take what you need with yo

And you leave behind what you don't need

Oh god

How , how long is this documentary

I can talk about it

For twelve year

i have been

I think the reason why they're so angry about the endin

is that for six years

We asked the big questions of life

Like the biggies

Why are we here

What is this

What is our purpose

And because we would ask those big questions

Then people would sit around together and they would discuss the

These big important questions

And then i think what they were hoping fo

or assuming what happen is that somebody's gonna come along and offer you the answer

And that the finale would be this great big aha

That's what the show is saying

Why we're here

Is there a god

What's going on

Is this real

Is it a holiday

We were gonna get the big one

But to put this into perspective

This is the answer that every major world religion has been trying to answer for millennia

and this tv show

Was meant to deliver that answer

Instead they chose to make the ending

the big final question that you could take away

And you could try and dig into it with your family

Go back to the water cooler and go what the fuck was that

And essentially what they ask you to do is go within yourself and search for your own answers

And i don't think there's a more noble wa

of sending people off into their lives

After bringing them on a journey

Then to say the answers are within you

Go find them

At the end of the day

I do think that at the risk of sounding completely and totally arrogant and pompous about it

Tv shows are popular entertainment

But the ones that are reaching to be innovative and differen

And emotionally evocative are also bordering on

If not actual art

And whether lost his art or not

Is not for me to sa

It was my intention for it to be art

There's responsibilities of the writers and the actor

That's part of painting the picture to fulfill

But by the same token

It's part of your jazz to suspend the imagination and let it fly

Because if you don't let it fly

You never will be satisfied

I felt like the passionate dissension

Um , about the lost ending was goo

Because it meant that everybody cared

I mean , what do we talk about

We talk about things we love or things we hate

We don't care about the gray

One of the facets of greatnes

Is to be also misunderstood or misinterpreted

And we were often misinterpreted

And i i think , i think our writers felt a a little assailed

A little beleaguered

And felt like they had to ex explain themselve

Or make make apologies or something

and i felt like no , no

skip the

moving on

Times were different

There was what i call the tv writer omerta the code of silence

You know , you didn't talk about toxic work environments

You didn't talk about abusive bosses

And you sure as shellac didn't call anything out

Some new stories have surfaced about the chaotic and toxic writer

Room of the hit abc drama loc

Laurean published a peace and vanity fair

which is also in her book about the lost writer's room

And how it was a horrible toxic environment

Particularly for women and people of color

The brunt of that was then put on david lindlov and carlton cues as head writers and shrunners

That was a pretty hard pill to swallow

that was a pretty hard pillow to swallow

Because i was that person who defended this sho

Tooth and nail

And then i find out that there was like

Like racism and bigotry and sexism

I had to really reassess my relationship with the sho

Because it's so ingrained in my everyday life

Has this been ruined for me

Do i let it go

Because i want no part of bigotry

I want no part of bullying and harassment

I have seen so many stories like thi

Come through about just horrible

Difficult workplaces in hollywood that i see the

And i don't necessarily go , oh , that one too

I'm just like , ah

That one too

The problem is not just what happened on the show lost it's it's systemic

And it's about all of hollywood

Everybody says , oh , that was just the time

And it's like , yeah it was

But also a lot of people could have done better at that time

They were grownups and they weren't making good decisions

there were some difficulties in

Damon's stewardship of the show

The writing environment became extraordinarily toxic

minority writers have come out say that there was a lot of bullying

and a lot of it was racist bullying

And a lot of it was misogynistic

Bulying in the writer's room

And i can corroborate that some people would be like , well

A toxic work environment

You just need that for a show like loss to exist

I disagree

I i don't want to explain it to you , but that's not true

i know that they went out of their way

To make sure that they had diverse representation in the writer's room

But then to find out that they had these people ther

And they were wasting their talents

They didn't allow them to speak

I'm like , i felt like a lot of that was optics

I will say , if the writer's room of loss was less toxic

I think the show might have been better

and that's kind of a sad thing to think a show that i loved so much

would have been better

If they were just nicer to the writers

when you talk about the interpersonal relationships within the writer's room

And the kind of bullying and teasing and

And currying for favor and all of that

a lot of that did take the form of jokes about race and class and gender

That were completely inappropriate and abusive

It was very , very hurtful

Like especially some of the stuff with like mr . echo

I mean , as a black person

That was shocking when loss started it's like a diverse cast

There are multiple black people on the show

Not every show had that

But then towards the end of the show

You start to realize that they're focusing more on these four white leads

The people of color were just kind of moved to the side

Slower and slower and slower and then faster and faster and faster

The episode in the last season when we lose sun and gin and saeed

Like all in one fell swoop

It felt very like , oh my god

All these characters are just gon

And they all are characters of color

And it just felt like a very unceremonious way for them to go out

and i think people felt that at the time

working on a show with a latino character as one of the leads

And then having to write material like

Oh he's still fa

because he hoarded away a tub of ranch dressing is in that hilarious

You know , um

because that kind of humor is the stock in trade of the writer's room is really difficult to brook

That shows up on screen

But that's also a staff that when michelle rodriguez got a dui

You know , two of the senior level producers put up her mugsho

Along with cythia waters's mug shot , right

and made jokes about how michelle had sold cythiatros for cigarettes in the hawaian prison

Because she was a widely latina with

You know , gang experience

i talk about that so that it doesn't happen again

So that other shows that come after us are bette

And it's leading by example

You know , having a room that is positive and not making racist jokes

Just , just , if you just don't do it

People will continue to not do it

Not everybody was the bad guy

There was a lot of people that came to wor

Every day just trying to do their bes

And got , you know

Got mistreated

like i would like for those people to feel like

The effort that they put in was worth it

I think it is a disservice to those people to say

I'm never gonna watch lost agai

Because that's something that they literally put their like sweat

Blood and tears into making

I think we need to acknowledge it

I think we need to really demand better from the people that make shows

At the end of the day

The show was always gonna be hard

But that's no excuse for the toxicity that occurred in that writer's room

My position is that it all happened exactly as they said

It did the thing that i probably feel the worst about

That i was so wrapped up in my own emotional proces

That i could not see

Experience or care about anyone else's emotional process

And when you're the boss of a thin

That's not the way to run a show

The idea that it was a boys club

or that i showed favoritism towards guys who look like me

Are at the same experience as spot on

So what i would probably describe as favoritis

Is analogous to racism or sexism

This is now a part of the show's legac

And

And i wish that it wasn'

But it's my fault that it is

Yeah , i , you know , i think there was an overly permissive culture in the writer's room on lost

And you know , we didn't understand at the tim

The fact that the culture of the show was harming people

And

Uh , you know , i really regret that that was the case

And as a showner , i have responsibility for that culture

And

Uh , i wish we had done a better job

And i'm very sorry about it

I felt a trade

Which is strang

because i am just a fan

And i'm so proud of people for coming forward to talk about it

I think it's important for las fans to know that it's not perfec

And life isn't perfect and it's messy

And so was this show

how i choose to think about any of those situations

Is does the person seem to have owned up to it

Did they learn from it

Had they atoned for it

What are they doing now

A lot of times to me

Actions speak louder than words

It's really difficult because you do

You do put these people on a pedestal

Maybe those people have changed

Maybe they've learned , maybe they treat people better

And i think that we all can do that

i think lost has told us that it shows us the flashback

And then it shows us what's going on

Lost shows us who we used to be

How we can be

And ultimately maybe what we should strive to be

At the end of the day

I was as big a fan of loss as anybody

As miserable as it was and as miserable as it got

The thing that makes all of that worthwhil

Is that so many people love the show

You know , you can go through your life in this business

The thing i'm not doing crap for the world

I'm just doing , just make it a living doing some schmouts and some that

But you know , a guy got up and told a stor

And he was a docto

And he said , why had this patient

And she had a tumor in her brain

She said , i just want to stay aliv

Long enough to see the end of lost

And i was like

Wow

And he said , and um , ten years later

She's still in a patient

To this day , the show means so much to so many people

I've heard of fans who were like

I wanted to kill myself

And that show kept me goin

Because i wanted to see what happened next week

I people who we're stuck in a hospital with no one at their bedside except us

You know , and like that's the magic of what we do

It's so superficial on so many levels and can feel disgusting

It can feel like what are we doing

Where it's not brain surgery

We're not like saving lives

Like

And then you hear these stories and you go , wait

We did , we at , we literally did save a life

How did that happen

give me a second sorry

I relied on lost

It was my savior

It was my rescue

it was my escape from the darkest time of my life

I had to be in the hospital for a couple of weeks throughout the key mode

And it made me very , very , very sick

There's times i couldn't remember being awake or anything like that

So the only time i can try to make myself stay awak

Was when lost was on

As long as i'm pretending i'm on this island

This magical island , where are miracles happe

And these beautiful people are having these wonderful adventures

I wasn't a sick person fighting cancer

Not for that time anyway

So for that hou

I wasn't sick and the writers of los

Didn't set out to hold the hand of a stranger

But in some weird way

They held my hand through that whole entire six year

And i i really needed that

so it means everything

Lost

It's not just the television show

It changed my life tremendously

People used to make fun of me

Oh , you're obsessed with the television show

You spend all your spare time writing about the television show

And then the television show ende

And i had met people from all of the world online

And i started meeting them in person at events

And we started hanging out together in real life

And then we created cancer gets lost

One of the greatest things to come out of los

Phandom is cancer gets lost

It began by auctioning off lost memorabilia

The idea that the cancer gets lost was created at all out of the community of this series

It's a beautiful thing and maybe

Maybe the best thing that could come of of a show like this

At the time i had a friend

A young friend with a brain tumor

And i wanted to do something for her

So i wrote her about on my blog

Poor hagarcia , who i had never met

Um , had reached out saying

Would you like a small piece of oceanic eight fifteen

I could sign it and you can auction it off

People really come together and you really lear

How wonderful fans can be in a time of sadness and crisis

I was fourteen

i remember

Going with her to a special area

I i i believe it was in macy'

To pick out bras for the other mates specifically for breast cancer patients

um that is when i was like oh

It's the life is gonna change no

When she was diagnosed , that happened very quickly

You know , she fought it very hard and , um

but she was cancer free for ten years

and those were pretty incredible years

Getting to see the kids mostly grow up and coming into their own

The first occurrence that you beat and that your cancer free , that's amazing

But if it comes back that's the last time

So we knew when it came back that she was metastatic

That it was just a matter of managing it and not beating it anymore

She , she got to read every book that she wanted

She got to drink every coca cola she wanted

She , uh , she kind of lived that , uh

Yolo life toward the end there

It's kind of indicative again of just like this community where this is a stranger

A stranger on the internet

I feeling like their family

Yeah

Like when i met their kids for their first time , like

Oh , this is uncle jay

You know , like , um

And so like that level of connection

It's so special

So losing her was just devastating

I love jen and i miss her a lot

jen passed from cancer

sorry i miss chen

Jen represented the best of the lost fan community

She was hilarious

Super whip smart was everybody's friend

Like if you talk about the best possible loss fan

You there's a picture of jenzawa

I hear frequently that i am a lot like her

Um , and i think that's the biggest compliment you could ever give me

Crouching behind the staircase

Listening

Trying to listen to my parents do their podcast without making any noise

And because i was supposed to be in be

And that was not , um

And now i'm here

What do you think jen would think about this documentary

I won't i mom should be here

She would love this

Are you kidding me

There was a voice inside that she really was trying to figure ou

How to articulate

I think the podcast was a great outlet for that

but you know , it's a shame because

I don't think she was done

she could have done a lot more

I miss her every da

and i wish she was here

I think loss certainly helped us process things that we were going through

i mean , these are things that really matter about a network television show

Is that we formed these connections with people who care about each other

If i were to sum it up in a word , it would be community

You know , making friends and pen pals with people in missour

As well as sri lanka like that's amazing

I think the fan community was what kept her going

I mean , both before and after her diagnosis to this day

When people will comment on one of the social media platforms like

Oh , you and jen were so grea

And x , y and z

That means the world to be remembered

I love that

She would love that

I hope though when people talk about the shows that defined an era of televisio

That lost is among them

There isn't a job that i have gotten since los

Where someone hasn't said to me

I loved you on that show

No one has said to me what's lost

Never heard of it

I . i never , i never finished watching the show

Sorry demon

i just think it's so effing awesome

That i was a part of something that mattered so much as was awesome

My miss it so much

One of the cool things about los

Is that you can still ask questions about not everything has answered

I mean what's more boring than a completed puzzl

And even comparing it to something that's made right now

i mean god , we're doing a documentary of twenty years later about

no , no freaking kicka's show that i still love

And i'm so lucky that i got to be part of

It was so central and so primary for a period of time

And then literally my involvement became like as a viewer , as a fan

Sort of watching what was being done

Like i would watch episodes of that sho

and like my breath was taken away

Because it was just so thought provoking and emotional , unexpecte

And the scope of it and the scale of it

Especially at that time

Because so many incredible people

i think we're doing

The best possible work on that show

I'm so grateful not just for what it did for my career

But what it did to break ground for diversity on television

The fact that you had two series regulars on a network sho

speaking a language other than english

And you were expected to sympathize with them

Not consider them enemies or other or some kind of stereotype

When you start having the conversation about diversity and inclusion and media

You must include lost in that conversation

i mean , maybe the legacy is that you do take a moment to put yourself right in there

And someone else's shoes in life

We get into a lot of troubl

If we make someone else other right

I would never be like them

I would never do that

You know , i would never say that

And i think the wonderful thing about the perspective los

as we start to have empathy and compassion

Because we can see the why of it

This tv show changed my life in every single conceivable way

I have no idea where i would b

and what i would be doing right now

If lost hadn't existed

I wouldn't have the life partner that i hav

Who is the greatest gift of my life

I wouldn't have my sons

I mean , i might have children , but not those ones

I think because i had a difficult journey

it's just so important for me to say

How honored i feel to have been a part of lost

To have been a part of that moment in history of television

To be a part of the beautiful group of castes that i worked with

I think it's important that people know that , um

I'm proud of it , and i'm really grateful that they love it

It means a lot to me

The friendships that formed out of it

And this shared love of something was as powerful

I think to me , to the fans as the show

and i think remembering that time now when we all loved this thing

And we all literally took the time to sit down in front of a television together

Uh , is lost

I look at everything it gave m

And i look at everything that it did for me

And i don't mean materially

I mean also like spiritually

Like being involved with something that connected that way with an audience is something that profoundly affects you

You know , when people think back on loss

i hope that they also identify with the moments in their life

that were going on at the time

They watched it

I loved how it makes this argument fo

The importance of community live together

Die alone

lost phandemus like very dear to me

in a way that i don't even know i have words to express

Other than i'm just so grateful for it

I don't take i

Likely that it meant a lot to a lot of people

The show was a , it was

It was a great ride

Come on

It was a great ride right

See you in another life brother

Uhm

There's a very , very corny line in the finale

Where are we dad

This is a place that you that you all made togethe

So that you could find one another

And i think that that's what lost is on a metal level

And i think that all we ever want in human existence is to find our people

And the fact that lost this television sho

Created a space for some to find their people

And that community not only existed for the time that the show was on

But persevered

the community in loss has been my savior

and the friends that i've made along the way

Are truly going to be sitting on those church puts with me at the end

I have everything in my life right no

As a result of this one show

Which i am forever grateful for it

So lost will always be special to me

The community seem to just get tighter and tighte

Even though the show had ended like these

Are they're my people ? no

You know that's my community

The fact that we're sitting and talking about it now

Twenty years after its inception

Whether it's legacy as a qualitative piece of television is good or bad

It matters to me

Of course it does

But the thing that is vastly more important is this other thing

Which is that it matters to the community who invested in it

That they cared about it

And that they struggle and wrestle with i

And are are still engaged by it

I'm just immensely grateful that that community still exists

And but there are people who will

You know , watch your documentary

Because they they care about the show

So yeah , it means the world to me

wake up in the woods

Wonder where you are

Remember the lost numbers here

The people , the lost numbers

Oh all of the numbers

Fuck you

What are you talking to

I remember no

I mean the numbers are bad , right

So oh my god

哈哈哈

Six , seven , five , three , one night land

Oh it's funny my kids would be able to rattle off the numbers like that

Forty , fifteen , sixteen , twenty three , forty two

Four , eight , fifteen , sixteen , twenty three , forty two

When i very first met my boyfriend years before we dated

He was wearing a t shirt with the numbers on for a fifteen , sixteen

Twenty three , forty two

And i didn't even have to look down at my shirt either

What do you think

I don't know the lost numbers

The numbers are four

Eight , fifteen , sixteen , twenty three and forty two

And let me explain why i know them i wa

The others are coming to take us away

I don't know what they wan

Cause they never say

Well they're together or we will die alone

yeah ， well and together for we will die alone

Were there any actors you didn't get to interview you interview on magic fox

Seriously

You know , got foxy come on

really

that's too bad he's lost