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[* "Boulevard" by
Jackson Browne playing]
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00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,393
♪ Down on the boulevard
they take it hard... ♪
3
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,228
It's a beautiful day
4
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:31,197
here at Velvety
Canned Cheese Park.
5
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,901
Velvety Canned Cheese:
making your cheese a breeze.
6
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,603
Good morning, everybody.
7
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,639
Get you some canned cheese.
8
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,775
That hat is too great.
9
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,476
I love it, you girls.
10
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,080
♪ But if you choose to stay ♪
11
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,982
♪ You end up playing anyway ♪
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00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,850
[announcer]
And here come our boys now.
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00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:56,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
your Montgomery Cheesemongers!
14
00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:00,060
And on the mound,
Montgomery's own hometown hero,
15
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,696
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
16
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,068
♪ And you know
the kid's in shock ♪
17
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,437
♪ Up and down the block ♪
18
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,573
Get 'em, Rocket!
Mow 'em down!
19
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:16,443
These rat bastards
can't handle the heat, Russ!
20
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,811
Blast off!
21
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,214
[crowd cheering]
22
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,253
[crowd groaning]
23
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,324
[crowd] Oh!
24
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,460
[spectator]
Come on!
25
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,364
Shake it off, Rocket!
You still got it!
26
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:40,233
Just warming up, Russ,
just warming up!
27
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,702
[crowd cheering]
28
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,145
- [spectator] Ah, shit.
- [cheering dies down]
29
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,415
[crowd boos]
30
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,688
[crowd jeering]
31
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,292
[player]
It's a fucking embarrassment.
32
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,161
[player 2] I never even seen
nothin' like it, man.
33
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,497
Never gonna win again.
Never getting laid again.
34
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,465
Twenty-nine straight losses!
35
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,734
Twenty-nine!
36
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,070
We're like the goddamn
Bad News Bears!
37
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,738
Actually,
the Bad News Bears
38
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,807
had one good pitcher
and one good hitter.
39
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,577
So unless Tatum O'Neal walks
through that door, we're worse.
40
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,613
Russ.
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00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,450
Russ?
42
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,085
Are we drinking?
43
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,520
Right behind you.
44
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,134
Hey.
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00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:52,005
- Brought you some soup.
- Oh.
46
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,341
- Thank you, Lucille.
- Mm-hmm.
47
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,084
Well, I just wanted you
to know that
48
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,087
you will always have
a home here
49
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,457
at Velvety
Canned Cheese Park.
50
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,327
You're part of the family
no matter what.
51
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,396
Thanks.
52
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,368
And with Sal retiring
next season,
53
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,471
we're going to need
a new head groundskeeper.
54
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,243
Oh, dang.
Oh, did Skip not...
55
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,911
- Oh.
- [Skip] Uh...
56
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,546
I was just, um,
57
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,648
working up the nerve
to tell you.
58
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:38,651
GM called.
59
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,422
Organization's going
to let you go.
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00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:44,758
That's it?
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00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,859
I'm done?
62
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,761
Russ, I'm sorry.
63
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:51,498
It's just... time.
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00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:56,169
♪ Well, I tried
to make it Sunday ♪
65
00:03:56,269 --> 00:04:00,206
♪ But I got
so damn depressed ♪
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00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,741
♪ That I set my sights... ♪
67
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,309
Oh, so that's it, huh?
68
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,745
Yep. They're giving me
one more start,
69
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,514
then off to the pasture.
70
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:08,915
Goddamn.
71
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:09,983
It's not fair, Rocket.
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00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,217
It's too damn fair.
73
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,385
That's what hurts.
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00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,587
If I still had my heat,
that'd be something else.
75
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,990
You still have that
100-mile-an-hour fastball
76
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,258
left in you, Russ.
77
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,693
Yeah, you'll get it back.
78
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,695
Nah, it's gone.
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00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,131
Skip's right.
Maybe it's just time.
80
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,668
Rocket, fellas,
drinks are on me.
81
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,769
Oh.
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00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:30,770
Look at that!
83
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,006
I actually won 200 bucks
betting on you guys
84
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,874
losing back-to-back games.
85
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,676
Figured I owed you, so...
86
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,712
Hey, enjoy.
87
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,481
Does anybody got
any decent work
88
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:42,982
lined up
for the off season?
89
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,517
[Carl] Not yet.
90
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,953
They still got
the classified ads
in the newspapers?
91
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,222
I don't think they
still have newspapers.
92
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:54,027
Vegas odds of us losing our
next five games is 22 to one?
93
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,762
- Hmm.
- [Hunter] So?
94
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,830
So?
95
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,300
If our so-called fans
could make money
96
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,135
off how bad we are,
97
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,570
why can't we?
98
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,406
Isn't players gambling
on games illegal?
99
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,442
It's more than illegal, Goose.
It's sacrilege.
100
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:14,647
And if anybody even heard
that we were discussing this,
101
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,684
forget the show,
we'd all be banned for life.
102
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,520
Lew, you're a 32-year-old
bush league catcher
103
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,722
with a career
batting average of 220.
104
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,025
I hate to break it to you,
but you ain't making the show.
105
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,259
Neither are you.
106
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,094
I know.
None of us are.
107
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,295
I mean,
we can't beat time.
108
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,364
So what do we do?
109
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,100
Okay, we got five games
110
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,802
between now
and my last start, right?
111
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,937
If someone was
to bet a parlay
112
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,939
on us losing all five games,
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00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,374
for any dollar they put in,
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00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,210
that someone
would get 22 back.
115
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,612
And that someone is us.
116
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,913
- Right?
- Oh, my God.
117
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,381
Thank you, Carl.
118
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,316
Okay, look,
we pool together
119
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:51,685
all the money we could get
our hands on, right?
120
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,354
Life savings,
second mortgages, whatever.
121
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,122
Then we bet on ourselves.
122
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,591
I mean, if we could get,
like, 100K,
123
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,795
we're talking, like,
two million in return, huh?
124
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:02,796
Are we in?
125
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:03,663
I'm in.
126
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,233
♪ Will you meet me
in the air? ♪
127
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,303
♪ Will you love me
just a little? ♪
128
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,807
♪ Just enough
to show you care ♪
129
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,875
♪ Well, I tried... ♪
130
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,010
If I sell the camper,
131
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,278
I can get, like,
15, 20 grand.
132
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,679
- Ha-ha!
- Let's go!
133
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,147
Attaboy.
134
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,149
[crowd cheering]
135
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,519
[* upbeat music playing]
136
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,795
Cheesemongers lose
to the Honeys
137
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,731
12 to 0.
138
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:42,202
Cheesemongers lose again
11 to one.
139
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,372
On the bright side,
Velvety Canned Cheese
140
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,307
does help
to drown the sorrow
141
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,776
of this punishing
losing streak.
142
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,112
Mm-mm-mm.
143
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,013
[umpire]
Safe!
144
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,449
[announcer] Cheesemongers
lose 13 to three.
145
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,118
Mm.
146
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,586
Someone take this away
from me,
147
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,187
but just know
I'ma put up a fight.
148
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,590
[crowd cheering]
149
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,531
[crowd boos]
150
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,300
[announcer] Cheesemongers
keep it within 10 runs,
151
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,703
losing 14 to five.
152
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,004
Let's go.
153
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,709
Another Cheesemonger loss
would make for 34 straight,
154
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:26,746
breaking a minor league record
that stood since 1951.
155
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,382
Russ, as today's
starting pitcher,
156
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,217
how are you dealing
with the pressure?
157
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,386
Well, I'm just grateful
I'm the one
158
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,522
who's taking the mound
for us today.
159
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,424
Oh, Russ,
160
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,525
seems like, uh,
161
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,694
I bear nothing
but bad news these days.
162
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,897
Front office promoted
a kid from rookie ball,
163
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,499
Felix Domingo.
164
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,668
And they want him
to start.
165
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,638
Skip, this is
my last start.
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00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,873
You said I could have this.
What the fuck?
167
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,842
I'm sorry, Russ.
168
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,646
- Hey, Skip. Hi.
- [Skip] Lew.
169
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,517
I borrowed eight grand
from a guy named, no joke,
170
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,820
Shady "The Kneecapper" McGee.
171
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,522
If this Felix kid is
any good, we're screwed!
172
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,157
[Russ]
Hey, settle down, alright?
173
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,559
Let me see what's what.
174
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,370
Hey. Welcome to the club.
175
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,406
Oh, my God,
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
176
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,308
Oh, my God, man,
it's really you.
177
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,509
You know who I am?
178
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,478
Yeah, of course, man.
179
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,381
Actually, when I was a kid,
my brother and I,
180
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,815
we tried buying up
all your rookie cards.
181
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,952
[chuckles] You know,
100-mile-an-hour fastball,
182
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:39,586
crazy movement.
183
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,222
We thought you were
going to be like
the next Roger Clemens.
184
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,157
Yeah.
Well, time gets us all.
185
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,559
- What's that?
- Oh, this?
186
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,129
Yeah, it's actually
pretty cool.
187
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,363
So it's a barometer.
188
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,198
My curves usually borderline
189
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,299
in most altitudes, right?
190
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,601
But with the lower
elevation here,
191
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,136
I feel like I can get
a good break going.
192
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,504
Okay, that's one approach.
193
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,805
Yeah, for sure.
194
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,273
- You want a dip?
- Nope.
195
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,708
Sorry, I...
196
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,811
got my own. [chuckles]
197
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:05,712
Yeah.
198
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,580
Yeah, anyway,
I always like to scout
199
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,449
the ballpark
before I pitch.
200
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,451
Wind conditions,
field conditions.
201
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,986
There's always
something I can use.
202
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:13,987
You know that.
203
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,757
Honor to meet you,
but I should warm up
204
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,192
if I'm gonna stop
this losing streak.
205
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,161
[chuckles]
206
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,429
You're a fuckin' legend.
207
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,863
- I just...
- Okay.
208
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,199
- Alright, good luck out there.
- [Felix] Thank you, man.
209
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,868
- So?
- Well, I don't think
he's much,
210
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,970
but still, we can't
leave this to chance.
211
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,773
I say we jump
the bastard right now,
go for the elbow.
212
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,575
[Russ] We don't need
to hurt the kid, okay?
213
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,210
Just get him out
of the game.
214
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,578
[Petey whistles]
215
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,146
Hey, go get 'em, Petey!
216
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,748
That's it.
217
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,518
Hey, don't worry,
I got an idea.
218
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,986
I'll see you on the field.
219
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,623
If we're getting
$3.1 million
220
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,392
and we're splitting it
five ways,
221
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,893
then 5% going
to our front man,
222
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,496
how much money does
that leave me exactly?
223
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,931
I hate this type
of math, dude.
224
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,866
We'll take care of it
afterwards, alright?
225
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,601
Right now, I just need you
to keep your head in the game
226
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,870
so we can lose it, okay?
227
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:04,738
Okay?
228
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,639
Let's get asses kicked, huh?
229
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,009
[* cheery organ music playing]
230
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,814
I've been noticing a slight
numbness in my right arm,
231
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,549
and I'm wondering
if it's related to all
232
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,785
the Velvety Canned Cheese
I've been eating.
233
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,854
Is anyone else
experiencing this?
234
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,124
If so, please come see me
in the announcer booth.
235
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,327
Taking the mound
for the first time
with the 'Mongers
236
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,529
is Felix Domingo,
237
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,798
just promoted
from rookie ball.
238
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,733
Let's see if he
can snap the team
239
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:37,170
out of its incredibly
dispiriting historic skid.
240
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,206
[crowd cheering]
241
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,474
There you are.
242
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,176
What'd you do?
243
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,513
Scored some acid from one
of the hippie vendor dudes,
244
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,281
spiked the kid's gum.
245
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,849
It should kick in any minute.
246
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,053
You Dock Ellis'd him?
247
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,121
I what?
248
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,158
Dock Ellis,
Pittsburgh Pirates, 1970.
249
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,393
He dropped acid 'cause he
thought it was his day off,
250
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,228
but then he had to pitch.
251
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,196
Yeah. [chuckles]
252
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,398
I Dock Ellis'd
the shit out of him.
253
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,334
[Russ]
No, you dumbass.
254
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,935
Once the LSD kicked in,
255
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,904
his game went to
a whole other level.
256
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,908
[* suspenseful,
mystical music playing]
257
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,312
He threw a no-hitter.
258
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,284
- [umpire] Strike!
- [crowd cheering]
259
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,856
Oh, shit.
260
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,458
[groans]
261
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,994
[* spiritual string music
playing]
262
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,266
- Strike!
- [crowd cheering]
263
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,208
[umpire] Strike!
264
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,178
Strike!
265
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,054
Strike! You're out!
266
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,026
♪
267
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,465
I seem to have stopped
seeing the color green?
268
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,700
It's weird.
269
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,402
All the other colors
are still present
270
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,770
in my field of vision,
271
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,937
but the grass,
for instance,
272
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,674
has taken on
a kind of gray pallor.
273
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,843
I have stopped eating
the Velvety Canned Cheese.
274
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,945
But if there is a medical
doctor in attendance
275
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,748
and you'd be open
to stopping by,
276
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,184
I don't think
that'd be the worst idea.
277
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:33,987
Well, folks,
we've got ourselves
278
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,656
an old-fashioned
pitcher's duel.
279
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,958
Still zero-zero
here in the ninth.
280
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,095
Can the unorthodox
young Felix Domingo
281
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,532
continue his dominant
debut performance?
282
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,267
Hey, pal.
283
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,702
- Bunt.
- What?
284
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,170
And don't stop running.
285
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,237
Trust me.
286
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,174
I'm going to humble
the new kid.
287
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,182
[announcer] First pitch
of the ninth underway.
288
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,052
And it's a bunt.
289
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,822
Dundee fields
what should be an easy out
290
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,224
and... throws it
into the outfield?
291
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,359
Come on, Carl.
292
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:14,994
[announcer] Sandberg trips
293
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,864
and throws the ball
into the ground.
294
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,269
Jackson picks up the ball--
no, he muffs it.
295
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,072
- Safe!
- [Creeley] Ah!
296
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,273
Oh, shit!
297
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,909
- Ah.
- Dammit!
298
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,479
[crowd boos]
299
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,080
Shit!
300
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,251
- Damn it!
- Play better!
301
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,920
Yes. Yes. Yes.
302
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,757
It's a solemn scene
at Velvety Canned Cheese Park
303
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,458
as our beloved
Cheesemongers are now
304
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,129
officially the biggest losers
in minor league history.
305
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,332
Truly, there is no joy
in Mudville tonight.
306
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,167
[* "Glory Days"
by Bruce Springsteen playing]
307
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,536
[players]
We're the worst!
We're the worst!
308
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,205
We suck! We suck! We suck!
309
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,374
[group cheering]
310
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:05,712
♪ I had a friend was
a big baseball player ♪
311
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,415
♪ Back in high school ♪
312
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,184
♪ He could throw that... ♪
313
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,453
You got rid of
the spiked gum, right?
314
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,257
Shit.
315
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,360
[* pensive music playing]
316
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,037
Come on.
317
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,972
Come on.
318
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,909
Shit.
319
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,145
Shit.
320
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,716
[door opens]
321
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,485
Oh. Felix, hey.
322
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,687
I can't find
my damn car keys.
323
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,924
Hell of a game, kid.
Sorry about that loss.
324
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,393
Is this what you used?
325
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,628
Used?
326
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,899
You and your buddies,
you tried to spike my gum
327
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,334
to get me out of the game?
328
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,737
What?
Why would we do that?
329
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,739
Because you wanted
to throw it.
330
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:09,175
We're like the worst team
in minor league history.
331
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,777
Even if we were going
to throw the game,
332
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,379
how would you even tell?
333
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,781
Because your buddy, Carl,
334
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,219
tried doing a little math
in my notebook between innings
335
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,621
trying to figure out
how to split up
336
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,425
$3,136,018
337
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,994
five ways.
338
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,930
You're in it.
He broke down your names.
339
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,633
Goddammit, Carl, shit!
340
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,835
And he got
the math wrong. [laughs]
341
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,804
Okay, w-we can make
this right.
342
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,406
Wh-what's it going to take?
343
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,210
Out on the mound today,
I-I went to some place,
344
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,414
a place I've only dreamed of,
345
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,450
where-where God's face
346
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,887
speaks from
the crystalline waters
347
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:58,158
and his angels
manifest in monkey form.
348
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,328
What the hell are you
talking about, Felix?
349
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,798
I'm done with baseball.
350
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,201
Yeah, I wanna move
to Belize...
351
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,470
and find God
352
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,340
and take drugs...
353
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,879
after you give me
the $3 million
354
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,581
you won on today's game.
355
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,351
Oh, come on, man!
356
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,252
That's our life savings
you're talking about.
357
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,954
Some of these guys
got families.
358
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,056
Look, why don't
we give you half?
359
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,959
You could go to Belize
and we'll call it a day.
360
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,929
Either you give me
361
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,799
the entire three million
to keep me quiet,
362
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,869
or I bring the evidence
to the cops
363
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,571
and you lose it all anyway.
364
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,574
[Felix laughs]
365
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,276
"Rocket" Russ!
366
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,411
Shit!
367
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,614
You done?
368
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,449
Yeah, yeah, I guess I am.
369
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,121
[Felix] Smack.
370
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,956
I'll give you instructions
371
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,257
on how to wire me
the money tomorrow.
372
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,527
Once it's in my account,
I'll give you the evidence.
373
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,464
Alright? Oh, and Russ,
you were so right.
374
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:13,667
Time gets us all.
375
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,836
But you had all the time
and the talent
376
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,471
as any of the greats.
377
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,173
You just blew it.
378
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,009
Jesus, man, look at you.
379
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,413
I don't even know how
you live with yourself.
380
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,449
[* ominous music playing]
381
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,352
[ball thuds]
382
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,291
[machine beeps]
383
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,662
Oh, my God.
384
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,898
My fastball, I got it!
385
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,299
I still got...
386
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,468
Oh, shit.
387
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,171
Hey.
388
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,073
Hey.
389
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,376
[* ominous music playing]
390
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,120
[keypad beeping]
391
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,672
[* suspenseful music playing]
392
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,496
[balls clattering]
393
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:59,472
[machine clanking]
394
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,753
[* gentle music playing]
395
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,356
[machine whirs]
396
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,665
Heyo!
397
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,809
[machine whirring, creaking]
398
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,644
A-Ha!
399
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:46,786
Hmm.
400
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,861
[whirring, creaking stops]
401
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,696
Hmm.
402
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,868
[machine beeps]
403
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,270
[sighs]
404
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,279
- [machine beeps]
- Alright, uh,
405
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,981
now I'm like emotionally
invested in this shit.
406
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,016
Come on.
407
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,651
[Good Buddy] [on radio]
Yeah, I still don't get it.
408
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:19,719
What's your job?
409
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,121
I wanna say, uh,
410
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,923
administrative assistant
or something.
411
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,893
Error 10,
category network error.
412
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,261
Yeah, I already knew that.
413
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,429
[Good Buddy]
And why does that appeal?
414
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,331
Well, I told you
that I binge watched
415
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,766
"The Office"
last month, right?
416
00:20:32,866 --> 00:20:33,767
[Good Buddy] Oh, no.
417
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,969
The road was getting lonely
and I figured,
418
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,570
ah, community,
419
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,140
same people every day,
entertaining dynamics.
420
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,574
I should try office life.
421
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,576
- Dumb, right?
- [Good Buddy] Ah, I get it.
422
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,146
Sometimes we need
an inspirational smack.
423
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,114
Hmm.
So I guess this company,
424
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,416
they, they all started
working remotely
425
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,117
during COVID
and they never came back,
426
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,286
and they need, uh,
one person in the office
427
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,421
so it's not
technically vacant,
428
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,956
you know, for
insurance purposes.
429
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,225
This was a dumb idea.
I should quit.
430
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:00,360
[Good Buddy] My experience,
431
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,395
it's the smack
after the smack
432
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,930
that you gotta watch for.
433
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,131
Hmm.
434
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,966
I'm not fully sure
what that means, man.
435
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,401
I...
436
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,870
A-ha!
437
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,605
[buttons beep]
438
00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:15,141
[machine whirs]
439
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,677
[machine powers down]
440
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,748
[sighs]
441
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,952
- [machine whirs]
- [Charlie] Ha!
442
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:27,387
Smack.
443
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,357
- [glass shatters]
- [Charlie thuds]
444
00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,499
[birds chirping]
445
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,805
This is yours,
I think, right?
446
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:46,906
Thank you.
447
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:48,341
I just have to ask,
448
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,543
what is your
general philosophy
449
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,913
regarding
litigation and such?
450
00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,515
Look, uh, [chuckles]
451
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,083
looking around,
I can see this isn't really,
452
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,451
you know,
the major leagues.
453
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,353
And anyway, by nature,
454
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,790
I gotta say I'm a lover,
not a suer.
455
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,192
I'm so glad.
I have to tell you something.
456
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,262
We are barely keeping
the lights on as it is.
457
00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,932
I think this team is very
important to this town.
458
00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:15,502
Gives us a sense
of community, you know?
459
00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,471
It's a place for people
to come every day,
460
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,008
same people
but interesting dynamics.
461
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,543
No shit.
462
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,446
- Second smack, wow.
- [Lucille chuckles]
463
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,816
Okay, uh,
crazy question.
464
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,219
- Hey! [laughs]
- [Lucille] You were born
465
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,621
to wear that uniform!
466
00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:35,622
- Yeah?
- [Lucille] Yes!
467
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,058
Okay, so, uh,
how does this work?
468
00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:39,626
Oh, hey, batter,
batter, batter,
469
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:41,294
batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter.
470
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,797
No, don't do that.
471
00:22:44,064 --> 00:22:45,031
Come here, walk with me.
472
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,300
As a ball girl, what
you're going to do, honey,
473
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,302
is you're going
to field foul balls,
474
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,104
and you're going
to interact with the fans,
475
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,439
which can really be fun.
476
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:53,840
And then before the game,
477
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,742
you just pitch in
wherever you're needed,
478
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:59,279
operating the pitching machine,
shagging balls.
479
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:00,714
- Do explain that one.
- Simple.
480
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:02,982
You just pick up
the loose baseballs
481
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:03,817
during batting practice.
482
00:23:03,917 --> 00:23:05,285
- Okay. I can do it.
- [Lucille] Yeah.
483
00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:06,953
- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
484
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:07,754
I'm going
to introduce you
485
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,823
to the oldest member
of our family.
486
00:23:09,923 --> 00:23:11,391
His name is Rambo.
487
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,460
And I should have
retired him years ago,
488
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,396
but I don't have the funds
to get a new one.
489
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,131
I'll show you how it works.
490
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,332
You flip this switch.
491
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,601
[machine rattling]
492
00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:24,804
Oh, I should tell you,
you gotta be real careful
493
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,441
because every couple balls,
he just starts shooting wild
494
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,610
and he could hit
anything in sight.
495
00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:32,846
- Uh, you see?
- Yeah.
496
00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:36,082
Wow. Uh, so what do you do
when that happens?
497
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,318
Just, look, smack! Ah!
498
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,554
[* cheery organ music playing]
499
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:47,027
[fan]
If you could sign my cheese?
500
00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,332
[Charlie]
Uh, hey.
501
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,668
Who's Mr. Baseball
over there?
502
00:23:55,135 --> 00:23:56,369
"Rocket" Russ Waddell,
503
00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:59,539
greatest athlete
this town's ever produced,
504
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:02,909
former first round
draft pick and top prospect,
505
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,478
one of only three
Montgomery citizens
506
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,614
to get their own
Wikipedia entry.
507
00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,516
I'll bite.
Who are the other two?
508
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,384
[Benny] Hiram Lubinski,
the inventor
509
00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,520
of Velvety Canned Cheese
Substitute Spread,
510
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,724
and my cousin Jamie,
who co-founded WikiKnees.
511
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,659
I mingle with royalty.
512
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,227
- [Benny chuckles]
- So, uh...
513
00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:23,329
what is mister
hotshot Rocket
514
00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:24,931
doing here
in the minors?
515
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,702
Russ lost his fastball
a few years ago.
516
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,570
No one knows why.
517
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,707
Injury, bad luck,
family curse.
518
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,542
It was a classic case
of the yips and you know it.
519
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:37,544
- Ugh.
- I'm sorry, yips?
520
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:38,545
Russ got in his own head
521
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,447
and messed with
his whole approach.
522
00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:42,849
We tried every cure
in the book to fix it.
523
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:47,787
Body waxing, ritual tugging,
slutty Babe Ruth.
524
00:24:48,421 --> 00:24:50,090
None of it worked.
525
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,424
But I got a feeling
526
00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:53,193
that today's going
to be the day.
527
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:56,629
Finally going to get
the old Rocket back.
528
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,598
[crowd cheers]
529
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:03,937
- [ball clangs]
- [crowd] Oh!
530
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,939
[Benny]
Shake it off, Rocket!
531
00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:07,574
You still got it!
532
00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:10,577
Oh, sadly bullshit.
533
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,151
Another pitcher, Frank.
534
00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:22,589
Hi. Uh...
535
00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:24,791
Oh, I'm Charlie,
the new ball girl.
536
00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:26,559
Don't think we've met.
537
00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:28,261
I'm Russ,
the washed-up old timer.
538
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,863
Oh, come on.
539
00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:33,233
Hey, sorry about
the, uh, the game.
540
00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:34,601
It's a tough loss.
541
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,536
You think I'd get used
to it by now.
542
00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:38,538
Hey, it's just a game.
543
00:25:38,638 --> 00:25:40,040
Shake it off, right?
544
00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,008
That sounded off.
545
00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:45,712
You're going to tell me
it's not just a game, right?
546
00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,781
No, you're right,
it's just a game,
547
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,884
but it's the only thing
I've ever had a gift for.
548
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:54,154
And when you're
given a gift in life,
even a strange one
549
00:25:54,254 --> 00:25:57,390
like throwing a little ball
swiftly past a man with a stick,
550
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,393
when you get a taste
of puttin' it to use...
551
00:26:00,493 --> 00:26:01,728
[clicks tongue]
552
00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,563
Been years since
I even touched 90,
553
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,498
let alone triple digits.
554
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:07,667
Actually,
as somebody with, uh,
555
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,669
well, strange gifts
myself, I relate.
556
00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,538
But isn't there
something you can do,
557
00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:13,940
like a robo arm,
surgery or something?
558
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,775
Physically speaking,
I'm fine.
559
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,811
It's all in my damn head.
560
00:26:17,911 --> 00:26:19,612
At least I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
561
00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:21,381
Oh, yeah?
Why is that?
562
00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:23,283
Skip said I got
one more start.
563
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:24,984
I'm done.
564
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,353
No shit.
565
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,522
Rocket, here's, uh,
to going out with a bang, huh?
566
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,257
It's Russ, please.
And thanks.
567
00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:34,494
- Until we meet again.
- Okay, until we meet again.
568
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:35,929
Cheers cheers.
569
00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:40,700
- Oh, so that's it, huh?
- Yep.
570
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,335
They're giving me
one more start,
571
00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:43,970
then off to the pasture.
572
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,206
[crowd cheering]
573
00:26:47,507 --> 00:26:48,775
Oh.
574
00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:50,210
Deputy ball girl,
that's you!
575
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:53,046
[announcer] We've got ourselves
an old-fashioned pitcher's duel.
576
00:26:53,146 --> 00:26:53,947
Go, go!
577
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,515
[announcer]
Can the unorthodox
578
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,117
young Felix Domingo
continue...
579
00:26:57,217 --> 00:27:00,020
Ah, look it,
she's running, she's running!
580
00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:02,355
Bang-up job, deputy.
581
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,090
[* bright music playing]
582
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,291
Ah.
583
00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:08,428
Charlie Cale, I do believe
you found yourself
584
00:27:08,528 --> 00:27:10,063
a rewarding career.
585
00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:15,969
[chuckles] I'll do it.
586
00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,874
[Charlie groans]
587
00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:26,880
Oh.
588
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,715
Hey, hey.
589
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,517
Hey, that was a heck
of a first game.
590
00:27:30,617 --> 00:27:33,286
I, uh, like
your style, kid.
591
00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:36,990
Did you know
that God is a verb?
592
00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,592
I did not know that.
593
00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:40,760
Oh...
594
00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:43,263
How about some water
or something?
595
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,765
God. [chuckles]
596
00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:47,300
God isn't God.
597
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,735
No, you know,
like, not,
598
00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,870
not like the way
that we were taught.
599
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:55,175
See, God is the music
of the spheres,
600
00:27:55,642 --> 00:27:58,812
the symphonic echo
of radical love
601
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,513
between all living things.
602
00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:03,383
[Charlie] Oh, boy.
Hey, uh, would you mind?
603
00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:06,753
Hmm.
604
00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:09,622
Oh. [snaps fingers]
605
00:28:09,723 --> 00:28:12,058
You know what I should do
is get your autograph
606
00:28:12,158 --> 00:28:13,927
'cause the way you were
throwing out there today,
607
00:28:14,027 --> 00:28:16,463
oh, boy, yeah, you're headed
for the big leagues.
608
00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:18,965
[chuckles]
I'm quitting the game.
609
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,567
- Huh?
- [Felix chuckles]
610
00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:22,902
Because none
of this matters.
611
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:27,807
You know, like who wins,
who loses, you see, God...
612
00:28:28,942 --> 00:28:31,011
and the monkeys matter.
613
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,114
Hmm.
614
00:28:34,848 --> 00:28:36,549
I really think you should
drink some of that.
615
00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:37,650
Huh?
616
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,953
Hey, you have
a retirement fund
617
00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,689
or a side hustle,
crypto trading or something?
618
00:28:42,789 --> 00:28:44,657
Well, money, eh.
619
00:28:45,325 --> 00:28:46,693
[Charlie]
Don't overthink it.
620
00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:49,396
When inspiration smacks, listen.
621
00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:52,198
Yeah. Smack. Inspiration.
622
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:53,967
Although they do say
that it's actually
623
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:57,103
the, uh, the second smack
that gets you, so...
624
00:28:57,203 --> 00:28:58,438
[Felix chuckles]
625
00:28:58,772 --> 00:28:59,539
What's that mean?
626
00:28:59,639 --> 00:29:01,941
I have no idea
but, uh, hydrate.
627
00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:05,779
Thank you, ball girl,
for sharing your wisdom.
628
00:29:05,879 --> 00:29:07,080
Yes, of course, anytime.
629
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,215
And, uh, well,
good luck coming down
630
00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:10,950
off whatever you're
coming down from.
631
00:29:11,551 --> 00:29:13,019
On?
632
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:14,287
No, I don't take anything.
633
00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:17,323
Me neither... officer.
634
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:18,825
Okay, Godspeed.
635
00:29:22,495 --> 00:29:23,830
Godspeed.
636
00:29:24,798 --> 00:29:26,099
Godspeed.
637
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,170
[* ominous music playing]
638
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,078
[cart rattling]
639
00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:52,659
[voice] [muffled]
Yum.
640
00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:53,727
Yum.
641
00:29:53,827 --> 00:29:54,694
Yum
642
00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:56,496
[* suspenseful music playing]
643
00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:57,997
Yum.
644
00:29:58,631 --> 00:29:59,766
Yum.
645
00:29:59,866 --> 00:30:01,101
Yum!
646
00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,103
[louder] Yum.
647
00:30:03,203 --> 00:30:04,637
Yum.
648
00:30:04,738 --> 00:30:07,407
Yum. Yum. Yum
649
00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:08,875
Yum.
650
00:30:09,175 --> 00:30:10,610
- Yum.
- [Charlie laughs]
651
00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:11,845
Yum.
652
00:30:11,945 --> 00:30:13,413
Ah, I don't think so.
653
00:30:13,513 --> 00:30:16,016
- [* mystical music playing]
- Yum, yum, yum!
654
00:30:17,517 --> 00:30:20,053
[sock continues, muffled]
655
00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:22,088
♪
656
00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,970
[creature jabbering]
657
00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,571
- [thud]
- Ah!
658
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:42,976
[man]
Charlie Cale...
659
00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:45,111
[distorted] Charlie Cale...
660
00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,080
[echoing] the wanderer...
661
00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:53,386
It's up to you
to save this ballpark,
662
00:30:53,486 --> 00:30:55,922
to save this team.
663
00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:58,491
It is?
664
00:31:00,493 --> 00:31:01,394
Why?
665
00:31:01,494 --> 00:31:05,231
Because baseball...
is not just a game.
666
00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:09,569
It is the secret
of the spheres.
667
00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:13,239
[whooshing]
668
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:15,975
Are you...
669
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:18,478
God?
670
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:20,580
I...
671
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,682
am Hiram Lubinski,
672
00:31:22,782 --> 00:31:27,120
the inventor of
Velvety Canned Cheese
Substitute Spread,
673
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,957
now available in jalapeno
and spicy seafood flavors.
674
00:31:32,092 --> 00:31:34,027
Oh, I get it.
675
00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:36,863
Ah, the mascot is you.
676
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,865
I'm the founder
of this ballpark
677
00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:41,201
as well as its
spiritual guardian.
678
00:31:41,301 --> 00:31:42,235
Cool.
679
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:45,405
[Hiram] Baseball is not
just a pastime.
680
00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:48,341
It is the passing
of time itself.
681
00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:51,378
Tell me, wanderer,
is it any coincidence
682
00:31:51,478 --> 00:31:57,083
that the goal of every hitter
is to return safely to home?
683
00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,651
Huh.
684
00:32:00,353 --> 00:32:01,187
Wow.
685
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,957
This ballpark is home.
686
00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:07,560
Without it, the people
of Montgomery would be lost...
687
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:11,164
and my granddaughter,
Lucille...
688
00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:13,466
would be bereft
689
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,602
with no community,
690
00:32:15,702 --> 00:32:17,637
without any sense
of belonging.
691
00:32:18,071 --> 00:32:20,240
Do you know what
that is like, Charlie?
692
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:21,541
Yes.
693
00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:24,844
Yes, I... I, I do.
694
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,546
- [Hiram] Then help us.
- Okay.
695
00:32:26,646 --> 00:32:29,082
Protect this ballpark
696
00:32:29,182 --> 00:32:31,918
and save this team!
697
00:32:32,018 --> 00:32:33,987
But from what?
698
00:32:34,087 --> 00:32:36,089
Mm, from who?
699
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,590
Come home, wanderer.
700
00:32:38,658 --> 00:32:42,128
Every soul seeks to be safe
701
00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:44,264
at home.
702
00:32:44,364 --> 00:32:47,600
[dramatic music swells,
stops]
703
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,250
[Charlie groans]
704
00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:09,589
Oh, Charlie?
705
00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:12,726
Wow, my kingdom
for some electrolytes.
706
00:33:12,826 --> 00:33:14,227
[Lucille]
Charlie, Charlie!
707
00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:18,665
What in the world
happened last night?
708
00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,704
[machine powers down]
709
00:33:28,041 --> 00:33:29,476
[Charlie] Oh, my God,
what happened?
710
00:33:29,576 --> 00:33:31,678
Uh, the new guy
stayed late last night
711
00:33:31,778 --> 00:33:33,880
to take some extra BP.
712
00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:35,382
He tried using Rambo.
713
00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:39,753
He got hit in the back
of the head with a fastball.
714
00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:42,989
Uh, I knew I should have had
that machine replaced.
715
00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:43,923
I knew that.
716
00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:45,759
I found him this morning.
717
00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,261
So Rambo...
718
00:33:49,229 --> 00:33:50,230
killed Felix?
719
00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:52,098
Well, it looks that way.
720
00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:54,467
Lucille, I hate
to bring it up, but...
721
00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,736
- What?
- You could be looking
722
00:33:56,836 --> 00:33:59,005
at a wrongful death lawsuit.
723
00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:01,441
- A big one.
- [Lucille] Well, that'll be it.
724
00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:04,511
We'd have
to shut down the park,
then move the team.
725
00:34:04,611 --> 00:34:06,513
It's the only family
I got left.
726
00:34:06,613 --> 00:34:08,114
Oh, no, we're not going
to let that happen.
727
00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:11,584
Uh, everybody knew
the machine was faulty.
728
00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:13,787
It is my fault.
729
00:34:14,954 --> 00:34:17,991
Hey, so,
hypothetically speaking,
730
00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:19,993
if, uh, Felix,
we know he was a good kid,
731
00:34:20,093 --> 00:34:23,129
but if Felix here
was, uh, high
732
00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:25,031
while he was using
the equipment,
733
00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:28,001
would that alleviate
some of this liability?
734
00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:30,503
- Well, I guess it...
- [Benny] Yeah.
735
00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:32,472
...it would. Why?
736
00:34:33,106 --> 00:34:36,509
Well, I, uh, I think
his gum was laced.
737
00:34:36,609 --> 00:34:41,014
Well, if he was on drugs,
it's easy enough to check.
738
00:34:41,114 --> 00:34:41,981
It is?
739
00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:44,384
Yeah, a simple reagent test.
740
00:34:44,484 --> 00:34:45,518
Oh.
741
00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:47,620
Retired cop.
742
00:34:47,721 --> 00:34:50,557
Okay. Uh, well, hmm.
743
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:52,459
Okay, terrific.
744
00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:02,435
Negative, no sign of drugs.
745
00:35:02,535 --> 00:35:03,570
Wait, what?
746
00:35:03,670 --> 00:35:05,538
Oh, gosh, man.
I know I was tripping so hard.
747
00:35:05,638 --> 00:35:07,340
And we all saw Felix
on that mound.
748
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,409
He was like a guy at
a Phish concert at the Sphere.
749
00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:11,211
I mean, come on,
he was tripping.
750
00:35:11,311 --> 00:35:13,179
- Geez.
- Honey.
751
00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:14,414
[Charlie] What?
752
00:35:14,514 --> 00:35:16,416
[Lucille]
Appreciate your concern,
753
00:35:16,516 --> 00:35:17,917
but the last thing
I wanna do
754
00:35:18,018 --> 00:35:20,487
is sully
this kid's reputation.
755
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,757
I've done
enough damage already.
756
00:35:24,057 --> 00:35:26,059
Lucille, this is
not on you.
757
00:35:26,159 --> 00:35:27,427
We're going to figure
this out, okay?
758
00:35:27,827 --> 00:35:29,929
I talked to Felix.
He told me he was straight.
759
00:35:30,030 --> 00:35:32,599
He wasn't lying.
Something is amiss.
760
00:35:32,699 --> 00:35:34,634
We'll have more
on Felix Domingo
761
00:35:34,734 --> 00:35:35,969
as the story develops.
762
00:35:36,069 --> 00:35:38,304
- [knocking on door]
- Skip.
763
00:35:38,405 --> 00:35:39,773
Hell of a start
to the day.
764
00:35:39,873 --> 00:35:41,207
[TV shuts off]
765
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:42,742
You need something?
766
00:35:42,842 --> 00:35:44,978
Yeah, I do,
I sure do.
767
00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:48,415
So Felix
in last night's game,
768
00:35:48,515 --> 00:35:50,817
uh, just a gut check,
769
00:35:50,917 --> 00:35:52,185
he look alright to you?
770
00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:53,453
He looked great.
771
00:35:53,553 --> 00:35:55,989
He was higher than a fly
on Willie Nelson's wall.
772
00:35:56,089 --> 00:35:57,791
- Yeah.
- But whatever it takes.
773
00:35:57,891 --> 00:35:59,993
I mean, I don't judge.
774
00:36:00,093 --> 00:36:02,128
I mean, I'm working
on not judging.
775
00:36:02,562 --> 00:36:04,197
Something I'm working on.
776
00:36:04,931 --> 00:36:07,100
[Deb Lux] [on TV]
It's not all sad news today.
777
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,270
Some lucky citizen
has won $3 million
778
00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,239
betting on last night's
historic Cheesemonger loss.
779
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,475
A five-game parlay
at 22-to-one odds
780
00:36:15,575 --> 00:36:17,310
- was cashed in at a--
- Jesus.
781
00:36:17,711 --> 00:36:18,945
Sad, isn't it?
782
00:36:19,045 --> 00:36:20,280
Used to be fans
actually rooted
783
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,681
for the home team.
784
00:36:22,148 --> 00:36:24,317
Win or lose, we were
all in it together.
785
00:36:25,018 --> 00:36:27,554
Now it's all about the odds
and working the angles.
786
00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,623
Getting rich
by expecting the worst.
787
00:36:34,894 --> 00:36:36,162
[Charlie]
Beep beep.
788
00:36:36,262 --> 00:36:37,297
Huh.
789
00:36:37,397 --> 00:36:39,532
Uh, hiya, Carl.
790
00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:41,601
Can I ask you a question?
791
00:36:41,701 --> 00:36:42,869
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Charlie] Uh,
792
00:36:42,969 --> 00:36:46,773
do you know if anyone had
a, uh, a grudge against Felix?
793
00:36:46,873 --> 00:36:50,110
'Cause, uh, I think
someone spiked his gum.
794
00:36:50,577 --> 00:36:53,279
Why would anybody have it out
for the new guy? [chuckles]
795
00:36:53,813 --> 00:36:55,181
Oh, wow!
796
00:36:55,482 --> 00:36:56,850
Super cool!
Is that a...
797
00:36:57,283 --> 00:36:59,719
That's a no grill, huh?
Is it solid gold?
798
00:36:59,819 --> 00:37:02,689
My aunt died and left me
a real big inheritance.
799
00:37:02,789 --> 00:37:04,090
Yeah, bullshit.
800
00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:07,360
I won it playing trivia
down at the, uh, pub.
801
00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:08,862
Obvious bullshit.
I mean, I don't even need
802
00:37:08,962 --> 00:37:10,263
my special thing
for that one.
803
00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:12,432
- Whoa.
- What are you bothering me for?
804
00:37:12,532 --> 00:37:14,000
I'm just a ball player,
805
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,935
a regular
minor league ball player.
806
00:37:16,036 --> 00:37:17,303
Yeah, yeah, no.
807
00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:19,272
I, uh, I know you are.
808
00:37:22,809 --> 00:37:25,278
Nobody wanted the kid
to get hurt, alright?
809
00:37:26,646 --> 00:37:28,181
[clicks tongue]
Right, obviously.
810
00:37:28,281 --> 00:37:31,017
Yeah, no, obviously not.
It's just, uh...
811
00:37:32,519 --> 00:37:33,853
y-you did, right?
812
00:37:33,953 --> 00:37:35,321
You-you spiked his gum.
813
00:37:35,922 --> 00:37:37,824
Just to get him
out the game though,
814
00:37:37,924 --> 00:37:39,759
and then he went and
fucked around with Rambo.
815
00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:42,462
And the whole thing was
a freak accident.
816
00:37:42,562 --> 00:37:45,398
I mean, I-I feel bad
about it, really.
817
00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:47,734
I believe you, I do.
818
00:37:47,834 --> 00:37:51,037
I-I just, um, I'm trying
to square, you know...
819
00:37:51,137 --> 00:37:53,340
I mean, here's Felix,
he's throwing a no hitter.
820
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,108
Why would you want him
out the game?
821
00:37:55,709 --> 00:37:58,478
Strip club after
the game, fellas!
822
00:37:58,578 --> 00:38:01,081
- [group] Hell yeah!
- Drinks on your boy!
823
00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,052
What's good, ball girl?
824
00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:09,356
I see.
825
00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:11,224
They spiked the gum
that killed Felix
826
00:38:11,324 --> 00:38:13,560
so that they could,
uh, lose the game
and win the bet.
827
00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,528
It's not like we're talking
criminal masterminds here.
828
00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,764
All they gotta do is check
these guys' bank accounts.
829
00:38:17,864 --> 00:38:19,432
Yeah, but you need
a search warrant
830
00:38:19,532 --> 00:38:20,934
to check a bank account.
831
00:38:21,034 --> 00:38:23,970
Right now, there isn't
enough evidence to get one.
832
00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:25,238
I-I-I don't understand.
833
00:38:25,338 --> 00:38:26,973
They're just going to let
the ballpark close?
834
00:38:27,073 --> 00:38:28,108
That doesn't seem right.
835
00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:29,542
I mean, what about
an autopsy?
836
00:38:29,642 --> 00:38:32,245
There's gotta be
some kind of, uh, evidence
837
00:38:32,345 --> 00:38:35,448
what kind of drug it was that
they put inside Felix's gum, no?
838
00:38:35,548 --> 00:38:38,351
Well, I asked my old partner
to send me a copy of the report.
839
00:38:38,451 --> 00:38:39,919
It should be
getting here any minute.
840
00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:41,588
- Hmm.
- [phone chimes]
841
00:38:43,189 --> 00:38:45,825
Okay, here's
the autopsy report.
842
00:38:45,925 --> 00:38:47,027
Let's see.
843
00:38:47,494 --> 00:38:52,198
Uh, yep, death
by blunt force trauma.
844
00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,502
Let's see, did they
even do a tox report?
845
00:38:56,036 --> 00:38:58,538
Hey, uh, could I take
a look at that?
846
00:38:58,638 --> 00:39:00,306
Oh, sure,
be my guest.
847
00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:01,574
Oh, thanks.
848
00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:07,180
I wanna save
that ballpark too, you know?
849
00:39:07,547 --> 00:39:10,583
My old man used to take me
there every weekend.
850
00:39:10,684 --> 00:39:13,219
There's nothing better
than a Sunday double header
851
00:39:13,319 --> 00:39:15,055
with your pops. [chuckles]
852
00:39:15,922 --> 00:39:18,391
Well, I don't even really know
what I'm looking at here,
853
00:39:18,491 --> 00:39:20,727
but I think it says here
that the ball was going
854
00:39:20,827 --> 00:39:22,262
over a hundred miles an hour.
855
00:39:22,362 --> 00:39:23,263
What's that?
856
00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:25,131
The ball that killed Felix,
857
00:39:25,231 --> 00:39:27,133
according to this
coroner's report,
858
00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:28,968
it looks like
the skull fracture
859
00:39:29,069 --> 00:39:31,838
was caused by a ball
860
00:39:31,938 --> 00:39:35,175
that was over
a hundred miles an hour.
861
00:39:35,275 --> 00:39:36,142
Wow.
862
00:39:36,609 --> 00:39:39,279
I didn't think Rambo had
that kind of speed in him.
863
00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:41,114
Yeah, no shit, Benny.
No shit.
864
00:39:41,214 --> 00:39:43,817
[machine rattling]
865
00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,185
Ah, shise.
866
00:39:45,285 --> 00:39:47,987
Come on, Rambo,
you Cold War relic.
867
00:39:48,088 --> 00:39:49,489
You can do better than that.
868
00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:52,092
Concentrate, concentrate!
869
00:39:52,192 --> 00:39:53,526
Let 'er rip!
870
00:39:56,096 --> 00:39:58,098
- [Russ] Hey.
- Oh!
871
00:39:58,198 --> 00:39:59,833
Benny said
you wanted to talk.
872
00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,001
Yeah, hi, Russ.
873
00:40:01,101 --> 00:40:02,635
Quick question.
874
00:40:02,736 --> 00:40:04,204
Is there anyone
on either team
875
00:40:04,304 --> 00:40:05,839
that can throw
over a hundred?
876
00:40:05,939 --> 00:40:09,009
Nah, anyone throws that fast,
they're not doing it here.
877
00:40:09,109 --> 00:40:10,777
That's a ticket to the show.
878
00:40:11,845 --> 00:40:14,014
Yeah, that's what I thought.
879
00:40:14,114 --> 00:40:15,281
Why you wanna know?
880
00:40:15,382 --> 00:40:16,449
It's just the coroner,
you know,
881
00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:18,018
he had mentioned
that the fastball
882
00:40:18,118 --> 00:40:19,486
that killed Felix, uh,
883
00:40:19,586 --> 00:40:21,688
well, it was going
over a hundred at least.
884
00:40:21,788 --> 00:40:24,858
And, uh, well, we all know
that Rambo here can't do that,
885
00:40:24,958 --> 00:40:27,127
and, and you
can't either, so...
886
00:40:27,227 --> 00:40:28,395
Thanks a lot.
887
00:40:28,495 --> 00:40:29,562
No, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
888
00:40:29,662 --> 00:40:30,930
It's just, you know,
the other day
889
00:40:31,031 --> 00:40:32,232
you had said that
you lost your fastball
890
00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:35,335
and you hadn't been
able to throw over 90
for years now.
891
00:40:35,435 --> 00:40:38,204
So, uh, you weren't lying.
892
00:40:38,638 --> 00:40:40,940
I don't know.
I mean, all things considered,
893
00:40:41,041 --> 00:40:42,742
I figured you were
the guy to ask.
894
00:40:42,842 --> 00:40:44,544
Uh, thinking to myself,
895
00:40:44,644 --> 00:40:46,579
I mean, what am I
overlooking, you know?
896
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,349
Look, I gotta go home
and get some shuteye, alright?
897
00:40:49,449 --> 00:40:50,917
I'm pitching
my last game tomorrow.
898
00:40:51,017 --> 00:40:54,454
Hey, how about
after the game,
899
00:40:54,554 --> 00:40:56,289
I buy you a round,
900
00:40:56,389 --> 00:40:58,124
celebrate your victory, huh?
901
00:40:58,925 --> 00:41:00,060
I'd like that.
902
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,162
I'm not counting on it,
but I'd like it.
903
00:41:02,262 --> 00:41:03,897
Never say die.
904
00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:06,433
This is the end
of the road for me.
905
00:41:06,833 --> 00:41:09,069
Like you said,
my fastball's gone
906
00:41:09,169 --> 00:41:10,637
and it's not comin' back.
907
00:41:12,238 --> 00:41:13,606
Bullshit.
908
00:41:14,607 --> 00:41:16,142
I wish it was, Charlie.
909
00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:17,911
I wish it was.
910
00:41:18,011 --> 00:41:19,279
[chuckles]
911
00:41:23,850 --> 00:41:27,554
- [crowd cheers]
- [* cheery organ music playing]
912
00:41:31,925 --> 00:41:33,793
I don't have
to remind any of you
913
00:41:33,893 --> 00:41:36,629
that this is
Russ's last game.
914
00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:42,268
It's probably our team's
last game in this great park.
915
00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:45,972
So let's go out there
and stop this losing streak!
916
00:41:46,072 --> 00:41:48,875
- [team claps]
- [player] Yeah, yeah.
917
00:41:48,975 --> 00:41:50,210
[Skip]
Let's win for Russ.
918
00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:52,545
Yeah!
Let's fucking go, Rocket!
919
00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:54,614
For Felix.
920
00:41:56,282 --> 00:41:58,651
- For the Lubinski family.
- [player] Yeah, that's right!
921
00:41:58,752 --> 00:42:00,620
And for these fans
922
00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:03,690
who have suffered with us
for all these goddamn years.
923
00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,458
- Yeah, right!
- Yeah!
924
00:42:05,558 --> 00:42:06,659
[Skip]
And while we're at it,
925
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,894
let's win one for
926
00:42:07,994 --> 00:42:09,829
good old-fashioned monogamy.
927
00:42:11,598 --> 00:42:12,766
Whoo!
928
00:42:13,533 --> 00:42:14,668
Yeah!
929
00:42:16,636 --> 00:42:18,872
- [exhales]
- [Charlie] Hey, so what was it?
930
00:42:19,506 --> 00:42:21,541
- What was what?
- Well, you know,
931
00:42:21,641 --> 00:42:24,010
what cleared your head
and got you that, uh,
932
00:42:24,110 --> 00:42:25,245
your fastball back?
933
00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:26,913
[Russ] What?
934
00:42:27,013 --> 00:42:28,948
Well, uh, the other night
at the pub, you know,
935
00:42:29,049 --> 00:42:31,317
you said that
you lost your fastball
and it was the truth.
936
00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:32,385
But then last night,
you said
937
00:42:32,485 --> 00:42:33,620
the same thing,
and it was a lie.
938
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,422
So sometime in between,
something happened
939
00:42:35,522 --> 00:42:39,192
that fixed that mental block
and got you your fastball back.
940
00:42:39,292 --> 00:42:40,360
- What was it?
- [Russ chuckles]
941
00:42:41,261 --> 00:42:42,962
Charlie, no offense,
942
00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:45,098
but you sound
batshit crazy right now.
943
00:42:45,198 --> 00:42:47,167
Well, cards on the table,
944
00:42:47,267 --> 00:42:48,568
I know that you guys
have been throwing
945
00:42:48,668 --> 00:42:50,737
these last few games,
and I also know
946
00:42:50,837 --> 00:42:52,272
that you spiked Felix's gum.
947
00:42:52,372 --> 00:42:53,707
Your buddy Carl admitted it.
948
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,442
Jesus, Carl.
949
00:42:55,842 --> 00:42:58,945
Gotta say I didn't think
you were involved.
950
00:42:59,045 --> 00:43:00,146
Nah, 'cause, you know,
you didn't play
951
00:43:00,246 --> 00:43:02,248
during those last five losses
that scored you
952
00:43:02,349 --> 00:43:05,885
the big payout,
and also 'cause I liked you.
953
00:43:06,586 --> 00:43:09,022
But then, then
I put it together.
954
00:43:09,122 --> 00:43:11,825
You were supposed to start
that last game, not Felix.
955
00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:14,294
That's why the guys
were trying to get him out
956
00:43:14,394 --> 00:43:16,029
and get you in.
957
00:43:16,129 --> 00:43:17,430
Alright, fine.
958
00:43:17,530 --> 00:43:19,332
We threw those last few games.
So what?
959
00:43:19,432 --> 00:43:20,633
Have you seen our record?
960
00:43:20,734 --> 00:43:22,135
We were going to lose anyway.
961
00:43:22,235 --> 00:43:26,072
Gosh, cashing in
on your own failure.
962
00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:28,508
That's where you ended up.
963
00:43:29,142 --> 00:43:32,712
So you're born with this
one-in-a-million gift.
964
00:43:32,812 --> 00:43:34,080
And then, what?
965
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:37,984
You throw it all away
like a total fucking loser.
966
00:43:38,818 --> 00:43:39,986
[ball clinks]
967
00:43:41,988 --> 00:43:42,989
Aha.
968
00:43:43,556 --> 00:43:44,624
I see.
969
00:43:45,458 --> 00:43:48,762
So that's what Felix told you
the night you murdered him,
970
00:43:48,862 --> 00:43:50,096
and that's what got you
971
00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:53,633
your 100-mile-per-hour
fastball back.
972
00:43:53,733 --> 00:43:55,368
Hearing the truth.
973
00:43:55,468 --> 00:43:57,103
I'm about to go prove
974
00:43:57,203 --> 00:43:59,272
in front of a stadium
full of people
975
00:43:59,372 --> 00:44:02,575
that I'm all washed up
with nothing left in this arm,
976
00:44:02,676 --> 00:44:04,244
so you got nothing,
ball girl.
977
00:44:04,344 --> 00:44:06,913
Why don't you go sit
your nosy ass down
978
00:44:07,347 --> 00:44:08,948
and enjoy our final loss?
979
00:44:09,049 --> 00:44:10,250
Yeah.
980
00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:14,154
Oh, uh, before I forget,
there's this, uh,
981
00:44:14,521 --> 00:44:16,956
a big league scout
in the stands.
982
00:44:17,057 --> 00:44:19,426
[laughs] Bullshit.
Pathetic.
983
00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,261
Alright, alright
alright...
984
00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:23,963
Why would a scout be
at a Cheesemongers game?
985
00:44:24,064 --> 00:44:27,534
Skip said something
about an open roster slot
986
00:44:27,634 --> 00:44:29,135
and needing some
bullpen heat
987
00:44:29,235 --> 00:44:31,037
there in the show,
whatever that means.
988
00:44:31,137 --> 00:44:33,473
Anyway, I probably shouldn't
have said anything.
989
00:44:33,573 --> 00:44:35,308
I don't wanna get
in your head.
990
00:44:36,509 --> 00:44:39,312
[* ominous music playing]
991
00:44:48,254 --> 00:44:50,090
[announcer] [on loudspeaker]:
Your starting pitcher...
992
00:44:50,190 --> 00:44:51,925
[voice echoing]
993
00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,928
[announcer]
For the very last time...
994
00:44:55,929 --> 00:44:58,198
our hometown hero...
995
00:44:58,298 --> 00:44:59,566
[crowd cheering]
996
00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:02,669
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
997
00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:06,106
[* organ playing cheery tune]
998
00:45:07,674 --> 00:45:10,377
[cheering continues]
999
00:45:11,311 --> 00:45:13,446
[announcer]
"Rocket" Russ Waddell readies
1000
00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:15,315
for his first pitch.
1001
00:45:16,049 --> 00:45:18,985
The entire ballpark is
on the edge of their seats
1002
00:45:19,686 --> 00:45:24,157
hoping for one more flash
of that classic Rocket heat.
1003
00:45:24,257 --> 00:45:26,426
[crowd cheering]
1004
00:45:36,403 --> 00:45:38,938
[* ominous music playing]
1005
00:45:43,043 --> 00:45:46,846
Hey, batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter, batter!
1006
00:45:56,556 --> 00:45:58,992
[crowd cheers]
1007
00:46:04,497 --> 00:46:06,666
[Charlie] Alright,
everybody up, let's go!
1008
00:46:06,766 --> 00:46:08,902
- Rocket!
- [crowd] Rocket!
1009
00:46:09,002 --> 00:46:10,970
Rocket! Rocket!
1010
00:46:11,071 --> 00:46:12,772
Rocket!
Rocket!
1011
00:46:12,872 --> 00:46:14,474
Rocket! Rocket!
1012
00:46:14,574 --> 00:46:16,509
Rocket! Rocket!
1013
00:46:16,609 --> 00:46:18,244
Rocket!
Rocket!
1014
00:46:18,345 --> 00:46:20,513
Rocket! Rocket!
1015
00:46:20,613 --> 00:46:22,315
Rocket!
Rocket!
1016
00:46:22,415 --> 00:46:24,250
Rocket! Rocket!
1017
00:46:24,351 --> 00:46:25,885
Rocket!
Rocket!
1018
00:46:25,985 --> 00:46:27,554
Rocket! Rocket!
1019
00:46:27,654 --> 00:46:30,056
[crowd fades]
Rocket! Rocket!
1020
00:46:30,156 --> 00:46:31,958
♪
1021
00:46:36,029 --> 00:46:37,197
- [ball thwacks]
- Strike!
1022
00:46:37,297 --> 00:46:38,932
Oh!
1023
00:46:43,036 --> 00:46:46,206
[crowd cheering]
1024
00:46:46,306 --> 00:46:48,241
Go, go, go, go!
1025
00:46:48,842 --> 00:46:50,010
Yeah!
1026
00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,986
I want all exits guarded.
1027
00:47:00,086 --> 00:47:01,287
Ball girl was right.
1028
00:47:01,388 --> 00:47:03,456
Our suspect is
"Rocket" Russell Waddell.
1029
00:47:15,468 --> 00:47:18,637
Subtitle extract by: Dream Ports
insta: @Dream_Ports
1030
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:23,176
Show 'em what you got, kid.
1031
00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:24,978
[crowd]
Rocket! Rocket!
1032
00:47:25,078 --> 00:47:26,880
Rocket!
Rocket!
1033
00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:28,848
Rocket! Rocket!
1034
00:47:28,948 --> 00:47:30,784
Rocket!
Rocket!
1035
00:47:30,884 --> 00:47:32,519
Rocket! Rocket!
1036
00:47:32,619 --> 00:47:34,521
Rocket!
Rocket!
1037
00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:37,123
[* "Glory Days" resumes}
1038
00:47:37,223 --> 00:47:38,558
♪ Yeah ♪
1039
00:47:39,325 --> 00:47:41,261
- ♪ Come on ♪
- [ball thwacks]
1040
00:47:41,361 --> 00:47:42,629
♪ Whoo ♪
1041
00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:47,567
♪ Huh! ♪
1042
00:47:50,270 --> 00:47:54,207
♪ I had a friend was
a big baseball player ♪
1043
00:47:54,574 --> 00:47:57,243
♪ Back in high school ♪
1044
00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:02,315
♪ He could throw
that speedball by you ♪
1045
00:48:02,849 --> 00:48:05,652
♪ Make you look
like a fool, boy ♪
1046
00:48:06,586 --> 00:48:09,956
♪ Saw him the other night
at this roadside bar ♪
1047
00:48:10,056 --> 00:48:13,360
♪ I was walking in,
he was walking out ♪
1048
00:48:14,127 --> 00:48:18,365
♪ We went back inside,
sat down, had a few drinks ♪
1049
00:48:18,465 --> 00:48:22,369
♪ But all he kept
talking about was ♪
1050
00:48:22,469 --> 00:48:23,636
♪ Glory days ♪
1051
00:48:24,270 --> 00:48:27,741
♪ Well, they'll pass
you by, glory days ♪
1052
00:48:28,341 --> 00:48:32,078
♪ In the wink of a young
girl's eye, glory days ♪
1053
00:48:32,545 --> 00:48:35,949
♪ Glory days ♪
1054
00:48:37,384 --> 00:48:38,718
♪ Alright ♪
1055
00:48:38,818 --> 00:48:41,554
♪ Well, there's a girl
that lives up the block... ♪
72938
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