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[♪ "Boulevard" by
Jackson Browne playing]
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00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,390
♪ Down on the boulevard
they take it hard... ♪
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00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:28,296
[announcer] [on loudspeaker]
It's a beautiful day
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,190
here at Velvety
Canned Cheese Park.
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00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:34,900
Velvety Canned Cheese:
making your cheese a breeze.
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00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,600
Good morning, everybody.
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00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,630
Get you some canned cheese.
8
00:00:39,730 --> 00:00:41,770
That hat is too great.
9
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:43,470
I love it, you girls.
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[crowd cheering]
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00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,080
♪ But if you choose to stay ♪
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00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,980
♪ You end up playing anyway ♪
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00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,850
[announcer]
And here come our boys now.
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00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:56,120
Ladies and gentlemen,
your Montgomery Cheesemongers!
15
00:00:56,620 --> 00:01:00,060
And on the mound,
Montgomery's own hometown hero,
16
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,690
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
17
00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:08,060
♪ And you know
the kid's in shock ♪
18
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,430
♪ Up and down the block ♪
19
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,570
Get 'em, Rocket!
Mow 'em down!
20
00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:16,440
These rat bastards
can't handle the heat, Russ!
21
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:17,810
Blast off!
22
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:21,210
[crowd cheering]
23
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,250
[crowd groaning]
24
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,320
[crowd] Oh!
25
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:33,460
[spectator]
Come on!
26
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,360
Shake it off, Rocket!
You still got it!
27
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:40,230
Just warming up, Russ,
just warming up!
28
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:42,700
[crowd cheering]
29
00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,270
- [spectator] Ah, shit.
- [cheering dies down]
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00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,410
[crowd boos]
31
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:01,680
[crowd jeering]
32
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[player]
It's a fucking embarrassment.
33
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,236
[player 2] I never even seen
nothin' like it, man.
34
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:10,490
Never gonna win again.
Never getting laid again.
35
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,460
Twenty-nine straight losses!
36
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,730
Twenty-nine!
37
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,070
We're like the goddamn
Bad News Bears!
38
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,730
Actually, the Bad News Bears
39
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,800
had one good pitcher
and one good hitter.
40
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:24,570
So unless Tatum O'Neal walks
through that door, we're worse.
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00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,640
Russ.
42
00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:30,450
Russ?
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00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,080
Are we drinking?
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00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,520
Right behind you.
45
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,130
Hey.
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00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:52,000
- Brought you some soup.
- Oh.
47
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:54,340
- Thank you, Lucille.
- Mm-hmm.
48
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,080
Well, I just wanted you
to know that
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00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:07,080
you will always have a home here
50
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:10,450
at Velvety Canned Cheese Park.
51
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,320
You're part of the family
no matter what.
52
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,390
Thanks.
53
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,360
And with Sal retiring
next season,
54
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:24,470
we're going to need
a new head groundskeeper.
55
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,240
Oh, dang.
Oh, did Skip not...
56
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,910
- Oh.
- [Skip] Uh...
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00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,540
I was just, um,
58
00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,640
working up the nerve
to tell you.
59
00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:38,650
GM called.
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00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,420
Organization's going
to let you go.
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00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:44,750
That's it?
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00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:45,850
I'm done?
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00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:47,760
Russ, I'm sorry.
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00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:51,490
It's just... time.
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00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:56,160
♪ Well, I tried
to make it Sunday ♪
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00:03:56,260 --> 00:04:00,200
♪ But I got
so damn depressed ♪
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00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,740
♪ That I set my sights... ♪
68
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,300
Oh, so that's it, huh?
69
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,740
Yep. They're giving me
one more start,
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00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,510
then off to the pasture.
71
00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,910
Goddamn.
72
00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:10,010
It's not fair, Rocket.
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00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,210
It's too damn fair.
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00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:12,380
That's what hurts.
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00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,580
If I still had my heat,
that'd be something else.
76
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,990
You still have that
100-mile-an-hour fastball
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00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,250
left in you, Russ.
78
00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,690
Yeah, you'll get it back.
79
00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:21,690
Nah, it's gone.
80
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:25,130
Skip's right.
Maybe it's just time.
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00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,660
Rocket, fellas,
drinks are on me.
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00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:29,760
Oh.
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00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:30,770
Look at that!
84
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,000
I actually won 200 bucks
betting on you guys
85
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,870
losing back-to-back games.
86
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,670
Figured I owed you, so...
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00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:38,740
Hey, enjoy.
88
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,556
Does anybody got any decent work
89
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,980
lined up for the off season?
90
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,510
[Carl] Not yet.
91
00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:46,950
They still got
the classified ads
in the newspapers?
92
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,220
I don't think they
still have newspapers.
93
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:54,020
Vegas odds of us losing our
next five games is 22 to one?
94
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,760
- Hmm.
- [Hunter] So?
95
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:56,860
So?
96
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,300
If our so-called fans
could make money
97
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,130
off how bad we are,
98
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:03,570
why can't we?
99
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,400
Isn't players gambling
on games illegal?
100
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,440
It's more than illegal, Goose.
It's sacrilege.
101
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:14,640
And if anybody even heard
that we were discussing this,
102
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:17,680
forget the show,
we'd all be banned for life.
103
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:20,520
Lew, you're a 32-year-old
bush league catcher
104
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,720
with a career
batting average of 220.
105
00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:25,060
I hate to break it to you,
but you ain't making the show.
106
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,250
Neither are you.
107
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:28,090
I know.
None of us are.
108
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:29,290
I mean, we can't beat time.
109
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:31,360
So what do we do?
110
00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:34,100
Okay, we got five games
111
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,800
between now
and my last start, right?
112
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,930
If someone was to bet a parlay
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00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,930
on us losing all five games,
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00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,370
for any dollar they put in,
115
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:44,210
that someone would get 22 back.
116
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,610
And that someone is us.
117
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:46,910
- Right?
- Oh, my God.
118
00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,380
Thank you, Carl.
119
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,310
Okay, look, we pool together
120
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,756
all the money we could get
our hands on, right?
121
00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,350
Life savings,
second mortgages, whatever.
122
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:56,120
Then we bet on ourselves.
123
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:58,590
I mean, if we could get,
like, 100K,
124
00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:01,790
we're talking, like,
two million in return, huh?
125
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:02,790
Are we in?
126
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:03,660
I'm in.
127
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,230
♪ Will you meet me
in the air? ♪
128
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:10,300
♪ Will you love me
just a little? ♪
129
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,800
♪ Just enough
to show you care ♪
130
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,870
♪ Well, I tried... ♪
131
00:06:15,970 --> 00:06:17,010
If I sell the camper,
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00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,310
I can get, like, 15, 20 grand.
133
00:06:18,370 --> 00:06:19,670
- Ha-ha!
- Let's go!
134
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:21,140
Attaboy.
135
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,140
[crowd cheering]
136
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,510
[♪ upbeat music playing]
137
00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:35,790
Cheesemongers lose to the Honeys
138
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:37,730
12 to 0.
139
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,200
Cheesemongers lose again
11 to one.
140
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,370
On the bright side,
Velvety Canned Cheese
141
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,300
does help to drown the sorrow
142
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,770
of this punishing losing streak.
143
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,110
Mm-mm-mm.
144
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,010
[umpire]
Safe!
145
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:56,440
[announcer] Cheesemongers
lose 13 to three.
146
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,110
Mm.
147
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,580
Someone take this away from me,
148
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,180
but just know
I'ma put up a fight.
149
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,590
[crowd cheering]
150
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,530
[crowd boos]
151
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,300
[announcer] Cheesemongers
keep it within 10 runs,
152
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,700
losing 14 to five.
153
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,000
Let's go.
154
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,700
Another Cheesemonger loss
would make for 34 straight,
155
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,740
breaking a minor league record
that stood since 1951.
156
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,380
Russ, as today's
starting pitcher,
157
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,210
how are you dealing
with the pressure?
158
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,380
Well, I'm just grateful
I'm the one
159
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,520
who's taking the mound
for us today.
160
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:37,420
Oh, Russ,
161
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,520
seems like, uh,
162
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,690
I bear nothing
but bad news these days.
163
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,890
Front office promoted
a kid from rookie ball,
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00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:46,490
Felix Domingo.
165
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,660
And they want him to start.
166
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,630
Skip, this is my last start.
167
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:53,870
You said I could have this.
What the fuck?
168
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,840
I'm sorry, Russ.
169
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,640
- Hey, Skip. Hi.
- [Skip] Lew.
170
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,510
I borrowed eight grand
from a guy named, no joke,
171
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,820
Shady "The Kneecapper" McGee.
172
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,520
If this Felix kid is
any good, we're screwed!
173
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:11,150
[Russ]
Hey, settle down, alright?
174
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:12,550
Let me see what's what.
175
00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,370
Hey. Welcome to the club.
176
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,400
Oh, my God,
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
177
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,300
Oh, my God, man,
it's really you.
178
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,500
You know who I am?
179
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,470
Yeah, of course, man.
180
00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:34,380
Actually, when I was a kid,
my brother and I,
181
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,886
we tried buying up
all your rookie cards.
182
00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:38,950
[chuckles] You know,
100-mile-an-hour fastball,
183
00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:40,050
crazy movement.
184
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,296
We thought you were
going to be like
the next Roger Clemens.
185
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,150
Yeah.
Well, time gets us all.
186
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,550
- What's that?
- Oh, this?
187
00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:49,120
Yeah, it's actually pretty cool.
188
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:50,360
So it's a barometer.
189
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,190
My curves usually borderline
190
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,290
in most altitudes, right?
191
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,676
But with the lower
elevation here,
192
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,206
I feel like I can get
a good break going.
193
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,500
Okay, that's one approach.
194
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,800
Yeah, for sure.
195
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,270
- You want a dip?
- Nope.
196
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,700
Sorry, I...
197
00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:04,810
got my own. [chuckles]
198
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:05,710
Yeah.
199
00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,580
Yeah, anyway,
I always like to scout
200
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,440
the ballpark before I pitch.
201
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:11,450
Wind conditions,
field conditions.
202
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,980
There's always
something I can use.
203
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,080
You know that.
204
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,750
Honor to meet you,
but I should warm up
205
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,266
if I'm gonna stop
this losing streak.
206
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,160
[chuckles]
207
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,420
You're a fuckin' legend.
208
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,860
- I just...
- Okay.
209
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,200
- Alright, good luck out there.
- [Felix] Thank you, man.
210
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,860
- So?
- Well, I don't think
he's much,
211
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,970
but still, we can't
leave this to chance.
212
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,770
I say we jump
the bastard right now,
go for the elbow.
213
00:09:33,870 --> 00:09:35,570
[Russ] We don't need
to hurt the kid, okay?
214
00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:37,210
Just get him out of the game.
215
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,570
[Petey whistles]
216
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:40,140
Hey, go get 'em, Petey!
217
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,740
That's it.
218
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:45,510
Hey, don't worry, I got an idea.
219
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,980
I'll see you on the field.
220
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,620
If we're getting
$3.1 million
221
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,390
and we're splitting it
five ways,
222
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:53,890
then 5% going to our front man,
223
00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:56,490
how much money does
that leave me exactly?
224
00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:57,930
I hate this type of math, dude.
225
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,860
We'll take care of it
afterwards, alright?
226
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,676
Right now, I just need you
to keep your head in the game
227
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,870
so we can lose it, okay?
228
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:04,730
Okay?
229
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:06,630
Let's get asses kicked, huh?
230
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,000
[♪ cheery organ music playing]
231
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,810
I've been noticing a slight
numbness in my right arm,
232
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,540
and I'm wondering
if it's related to all
233
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,780
the Velvety Canned Cheese
I've been eating.
234
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,850
Is anyone else
experiencing this?
235
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:24,120
If so, please come see me
in the announcer booth.
236
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:27,320
Taking the mound
for the first time
with the 'Mongers
237
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,520
is Felix Domingo,
238
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,790
just promoted from rookie ball.
239
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,730
Let's see if he
can snap the team
240
00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:37,170
out of its incredibly
dispiriting historic skid.
241
00:10:37,530 --> 00:10:40,200
[crowd cheering]
242
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,470
There you are.
243
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,170
What'd you do?
244
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,510
Scored some acid from one
of the hippie vendor dudes,
245
00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:48,280
spiked the kid's gum.
246
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,840
It should kick in any minute.
247
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,050
You Dock Ellis'd him?
248
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,120
I what?
249
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:58,150
Dock Ellis,
Pittsburgh Pirates, 1970.
250
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:00,390
He dropped acid 'cause he
thought it was his day off,
251
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:02,220
but then he had to pitch.
252
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,190
Yeah. [chuckles]
253
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,390
I Dock Ellis'd
the shit out of him.
254
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,330
[Russ]
No, you dumbass.
255
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:08,930
Once the LSD kicked in,
256
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,900
his game went to
a whole other level.
257
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:14,900
[♪ suspenseful,
mystical music playing]
258
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,310
He threw a no-hitter.
259
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,280
- [umpire] Strike!
- [crowd cheering]
260
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,850
Oh, shit.
261
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,450
[groans]
262
00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:34,990
[♪ spiritual string music
playing]
263
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,260
- Strike!
- [crowd cheering]
264
00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:48,200
[umpire] Strike!
265
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,210
Strike!
266
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,050
Strike! You're out!
267
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:06,020
♪
268
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,460
I seem to have stopped
seeing the color green?
269
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,700
It's weird.
270
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,400
All the other colors
are still present
271
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,770
in my field of vision,
272
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,990
but the grass, for instance,
273
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,670
has taken on
a kind of gray pallor.
274
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,840
I have stopped eating
the Velvety Canned Cheese.
275
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:25,940
But if there is a medical
doctor in attendance
276
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,740
and you'd be open
to stopping by,
277
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,180
I don't think
that'd be the worst idea.
278
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,056
Well, folks, we've got ourselves
279
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,650
an old-fashioned pitcher's duel.
280
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:38,950
Still zero-zero
here in the ninth.
281
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:42,090
Can the unorthodox
young Felix Domingo
282
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:45,530
continue his dominant
debut performance?
283
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,260
Hey, pal.
284
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,700
- Bunt.
- What?
285
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,170
And don't stop running.
286
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,270
Trust me.
287
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,170
I'm going to humble the new kid.
288
00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:02,180
[announcer] First pitch
of the ninth underway.
289
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,050
And it's a bunt.
290
00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:08,820
Dundee fields
what should be an easy out
291
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,220
and... throws it
into the outfield?
292
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,350
Come on, Carl.
293
00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:14,990
[announcer] Sandberg trips
294
00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:17,860
and throws the ball
into the ground.
295
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,260
Jackson picks up the ball...
no, he muffs it.
296
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,070
- Safe!
- [Creeley] Ah!
297
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:27,270
Oh, shit!
298
00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:29,900
- Ah.
- Dammit!
299
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,470
[crowd boos]
300
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:34,080
Shit!
301
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:38,250
- Damn it!
- Play better!
302
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,920
Yes. Yes. Yes.
303
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,750
It's a solemn scene
at Velvety Canned Cheese Park
304
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:45,450
as our beloved
Cheesemongers are now
305
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:49,120
officially the biggest losers
in minor league history.
306
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,330
Truly, there is no joy
in Mudville tonight.
307
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,190
[♪ "Glory Days"
by Bruce Springsteen playing]
308
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,530
[players]
We're the worst!
We're the worst!
309
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,200
We suck! We suck! We suck!
310
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,370
[group cheering]
311
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:05,710
♪ I had a friend was
a big baseball player ♪
312
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,410
♪ Back in high school ♪
313
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,180
♪ He could throw that... ♪
314
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,450
You got rid of
the spiked gum, right?
315
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,250
Shit.
316
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,360
[♪ pensive music playing]
317
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,030
Come on.
318
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:32,970
Come on.
319
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,900
Shit.
320
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,140
Shit.
321
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,710
[door opens]
322
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:45,480
Oh. Felix, hey.
323
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:47,680
I can't find my damn car keys.
324
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:50,920
Hell of a game, kid.
Sorry about that loss.
325
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,390
Is this what you used?
326
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:55,620
Used?
327
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,890
You and your buddies,
you tried to spike my gum
328
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,330
to get me out of the game?
329
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,730
What?
Why would we do that?
330
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,730
Because you wanted to throw it.
331
00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:09,170
We're like the worst team
in minor league history.
332
00:15:09,270 --> 00:15:10,830
Even if we were going
to throw the game,
333
00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:12,370
how would you even tell?
334
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,780
Because your buddy, Carl,
335
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,210
tried doing a little math
in my notebook between innings
336
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,620
trying to figure out
how to split up
337
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,420
$3,136,018
338
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:27,990
five ways.
339
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:30,930
You're in it.
He broke down your names.
340
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,630
Goddammit, Carl, shit!
341
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,830
And he got
the math wrong. [laughs]
342
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,800
Okay, w-we can make this right.
343
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,400
Wh-what's it going to take?
344
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,210
Out on the mound today,
I-I went to some place,
345
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,410
a place I've only dreamed of,
346
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,450
where-where God's face
347
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,880
speaks from
the crystalline waters
348
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:58,150
and his angels
manifest in monkey form.
349
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:02,320
What the hell are you
talking about, Felix?
350
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:04,790
I'm done with baseball.
351
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:08,200
Yeah, I wanna move to Belize...
352
00:16:08,930 --> 00:16:10,470
and find God
353
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,340
and take drugs...
354
00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,870
after you give me the $3 million
355
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,580
you won on today's game.
356
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,350
Oh, come on, man!
357
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,250
That's our life savings
you're talking about.
358
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,950
Some of these guys got families.
359
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:30,050
Look, why don't
we give you half?
360
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,950
You could go to Belize
and we'll call it a day.
361
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:35,920
Either you give me
362
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,790
the entire three million
to keep me quiet,
363
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:42,860
or I bring the evidence
to the cops
364
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,570
and you lose it all anyway.
365
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,570
[Felix laughs]
366
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,270
"Rocket" Russ!
367
00:16:50,370 --> 00:16:51,410
Shit!
368
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:54,610
You done?
369
00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:56,440
Yeah, yeah, I guess I am.
370
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,120
[Felix] Smack.
371
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,950
I'll give you instructions
372
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:04,326
on how to wire me
the money tomorrow.
373
00:17:04,350 --> 00:17:07,520
Once it's in my account,
I'll give you the evidence.
374
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,460
Alright? Oh, and Russ,
you were so right.
375
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,660
Time gets us all.
376
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,830
But you had all the time
and the talent
377
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:18,470
as any of the greats.
378
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,170
You just blew it.
379
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,000
Jesus, man, look at you.
380
00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:26,410
I don't even know how
you live with yourself.
381
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,440
[♪ ominous music playing]
382
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,350
[ball thuds]
383
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,290
[machine beeps]
384
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,660
Oh, my God.
385
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,890
My fastball, I got it!
386
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,290
I still got...
387
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:48,460
Oh, shit.
388
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,170
Hey.
389
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,100
Hey.
390
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:56,370
[♪ ominous music playing]
391
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,120
[keypad beeping]
392
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,670
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
393
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,490
[balls clattering]
394
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,470
[machine clanking]
395
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,750
[♪ gentle music playing]
396
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,350
[machine whirs]
397
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,660
Heyo!
398
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:35,800
[machine whirring, creaking]
399
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,640
A-Ha!
400
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,810
Hmm.
401
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,860
[whirring, creaking stops]
402
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:56,720
Hmm.
403
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:01,860
[machine beeps]
404
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,270
[sighs]
405
00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:13,270
- [machine beeps]
- Alright, uh,
406
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,056
now I'm like emotionally
invested in this shit.
407
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,080
Come on.
408
00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:18,650
[Good Buddy] [on radio]
Yeah, I still don't get it.
409
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,750
What's your job?
410
00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,120
I wanna say, uh,
411
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,920
administrative assistant
or something.
412
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:26,890
Error 10,
category network error.
413
00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:28,260
Yeah, I already knew that.
414
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,496
[Good Buddy]
And why does that appeal?
415
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,330
Well, I told you
that I binge watched
416
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,760
"The Office" last month, right?
417
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:33,760
[Good Buddy] Oh, no.
418
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,960
The road was getting lonely
and I figured,
419
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,570
ah, community,
420
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,140
same people every day,
entertaining dynamics.
421
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,570
I should try office life.
422
00:20:41,670 --> 00:20:43,570
- Dumb, right?
- [Good Buddy] Ah, I get it.
423
00:20:43,670 --> 00:20:46,140
Sometimes we need
an inspirational smack.
424
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,110
Hmm.
So I guess this company,
425
00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:49,486
they, they all started
working remotely
426
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:51,110
during COVID
and they never came back,
427
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,280
and they need, uh,
one person in the office
428
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:54,496
so it's not technically vacant,
429
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,950
you know, for
insurance purposes.
430
00:20:57,350 --> 00:20:59,220
This was a dumb idea.
I should quit.
431
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,400
[Good Buddy] My experience,
432
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,390
it's the smack after the smack
433
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:03,930
that you gotta watch for.
434
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,130
Hmm.
435
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,960
I'm not fully sure
what that means, man.
436
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,400
I...
437
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,870
A-ha!
438
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,600
[buttons beep]
439
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,140
[machine whirs]
440
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,670
[machine powers down]
441
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,780
[sighs]
442
00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:25,950
- [machine whirs]
- [Charlie] Ha!
443
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:27,650
Smack.
444
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,350
- [glass shatters]
- [Charlie thuds]
445
00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,490
[birds chirping]
446
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,800
This is yours, I think, right?
447
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:46,900
Thank you.
448
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,340
I just have to ask,
449
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,540
what is your general philosophy
450
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,910
regarding litigation and such?
451
00:21:54,010 --> 00:21:55,510
Look, uh, [chuckles]
452
00:21:55,610 --> 00:21:57,156
looking around,
I can see this isn't really,
453
00:21:57,180 --> 00:21:58,450
you know, the major leagues.
454
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:00,350
And anyway, by nature,
455
00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:03,790
I gotta say I'm a lover,
not a suer.
456
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,190
I'm so glad.
I have to tell you something.
457
00:22:06,650 --> 00:22:09,260
We are barely keeping
the lights on as it is.
458
00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,930
I think this team is very
important to this town.
459
00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:15,500
Gives us a sense
of community, you know?
460
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:18,470
It's a place for people
to come every day,
461
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:22,000
same people
but interesting dynamics.
462
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,540
No shit.
463
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,440
- Second smack, wow.
- [Lucille chuckles]
464
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:29,810
Okay, uh, crazy question.
465
00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:33,210
- Hey! [laughs]
- [Lucille] You were born
466
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,620
to wear that uniform!
467
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,620
- Yeah?
- [Lucille] Yes!
468
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,050
Okay, so, uh,
how does this work?
469
00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:39,620
Oh, hey, batter, batter, batter,
470
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,366
batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter.
471
00:22:41,390 --> 00:22:43,790
No, don't do that.
472
00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:45,060
Come here, walk with me.
473
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:47,300
As a ball girl, what
you're going to do, honey,
474
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,300
is you're going
to field foul balls,
475
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,100
and you're going
to interact with the fans,
476
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,430
which can really be fun.
477
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:53,840
And then before the game,
478
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,740
you just pitch in
wherever you're needed,
479
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,270
operating the pitching machine,
shagging balls.
480
00:22:59,370 --> 00:23:00,710
- Do explain that one.
- Simple.
481
00:23:00,810 --> 00:23:02,980
You just pick up
the loose baseballs
482
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:03,810
during batting practice.
483
00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:05,356
- Okay. I can do it.
- [Lucille] Yeah.
484
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:06,950
- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
485
00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:07,750
I'm going to introduce you
486
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,820
to the oldest member
of our family.
487
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,390
His name is Rambo.
488
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,460
And I should have
retired him years ago,
489
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,390
but I don't have the funds
to get a new one.
490
00:23:16,490 --> 00:23:18,130
I'll show you how it works.
491
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,330
You flip this switch.
492
00:23:19,430 --> 00:23:21,600
[machine rattling]
493
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:24,800
Oh, I should tell you,
you gotta be real careful
494
00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:28,440
because every couple balls,
he just starts shooting wild
495
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,610
and he could hit
anything in sight.
496
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:32,840
- Uh, you see?
- Yeah.
497
00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:36,080
Wow. Uh, so what do you do
when that happens?
498
00:23:36,180 --> 00:23:38,310
Just, look, smack! Ah!
499
00:23:38,410 --> 00:23:41,550
[♪ cheery organ music playing]
500
00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:47,020
[fan]
If you could sign my cheese?
501
00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:52,330
[Charlie]
Uh, hey.
502
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:54,660
Who's Mr. Baseball
over there?
503
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,360
"Rocket" Russ Waddell,
504
00:23:56,460 --> 00:23:59,530
greatest athlete
this town's ever produced,
505
00:23:59,630 --> 00:24:02,900
former first round
draft pick and top prospect,
506
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,470
one of only three
Montgomery citizens
507
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,610
to get their own
Wikipedia entry.
508
00:24:07,710 --> 00:24:09,510
I'll bite.
Who are the other two?
509
00:24:09,610 --> 00:24:11,380
[Benny] Hiram Lubinski,
the inventor
510
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,520
of Velvety Canned Cheese
Substitute Spread,
511
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,720
and my cousin Jamie,
who co-founded WikiKnees.
512
00:24:17,820 --> 00:24:19,650
I mingle with royalty.
513
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,220
- [Benny chuckles]
- So, uh...
514
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,320
what is mister hotshot Rocket
515
00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:24,930
doing here in the minors?
516
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:28,700
Russ lost his fastball
a few years ago.
517
00:24:29,130 --> 00:24:30,570
No one knows why.
518
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,700
Injury, bad luck, family curse.
519
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,616
It was a classic case
of the yips and you know it.
520
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,540
- Ugh.
- I'm sorry, yips?
521
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,540
Russ got in his own head
522
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,440
and messed with
his whole approach.
523
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,840
We tried every cure
in the book to fix it.
524
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:47,780
Body waxing, ritual tugging,
slutty Babe Ruth.
525
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:50,090
None of it worked.
526
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,420
But I got a feeling
527
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,190
that today's going
to be the day.
528
00:24:53,790 --> 00:24:56,620
Finally going to get
the old Rocket back.
529
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,590
[crowd cheers]
530
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:03,930
- [ball clangs]
- [crowd] Oh!
531
00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:05,930
[Benny]
Shake it off, Rocket!
532
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:07,570
You still got it!
533
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,570
Oh, sadly bullshit.
534
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,150
Another pitcher, Frank.
535
00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:22,580
Hi. Uh...
536
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,790
Oh, I'm Charlie,
the new ball girl.
537
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,550
Don't think we've met.
538
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:28,260
I'm Russ,
the washed-up old timer.
539
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,860
Oh, come on.
540
00:25:30,490 --> 00:25:33,230
Hey, sorry about
the, uh, the game.
541
00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:34,600
It's a tough loss.
542
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,530
You think I'd get used
to it by now.
543
00:25:36,630 --> 00:25:38,530
Hey, it's just a game.
544
00:25:38,630 --> 00:25:40,040
Shake it off, right?
545
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,000
That sounded off.
546
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,710
You're going to tell me
it's not just a game, right?
547
00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:47,780
No, you're right,
it's just a game,
548
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,880
but it's the only thing
I've ever had a gift for.
549
00:25:51,350 --> 00:25:54,150
And when you're
given a gift in life,
even a strange one
550
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:57,390
like throwing a little ball
swiftly past a man with a stick,
551
00:25:58,050 --> 00:26:00,390
when you get a taste
of puttin' it to use...
552
00:26:00,490 --> 00:26:01,720
[clicks tongue]
553
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:03,560
Been years since
I even touched 90,
554
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:05,490
let alone triple digits.
555
00:26:05,590 --> 00:26:07,660
Actually, as somebody with, uh,
556
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,660
well, strange gifts
myself, I relate.
557
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,530
But isn't there
something you can do,
558
00:26:11,630 --> 00:26:13,940
like a robo arm,
surgery or something?
559
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,770
Physically speaking, I'm fine.
560
00:26:15,870 --> 00:26:17,810
It's all in my damn head.
561
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,686
At least I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
562
00:26:19,710 --> 00:26:21,380
Oh, yeah?
Why is that?
563
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,280
Skip said I got one more start.
564
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:24,980
I'm done.
565
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,350
No shit.
566
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,520
Rocket, here's, uh,
to going out with a bang, huh?
567
00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:31,250
It's Russ, please.
And thanks.
568
00:26:31,350 --> 00:26:34,490
- Until we meet again.
- Okay, until we meet again.
569
00:26:34,590 --> 00:26:35,920
Cheers cheers.
570
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:40,700
- Oh, so that's it, huh?
- Yep.
571
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,330
They're giving me
one more start,
572
00:26:42,430 --> 00:26:43,970
then off to the pasture.
573
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,200
[crowd cheering]
574
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:48,770
Oh.
575
00:26:48,870 --> 00:26:50,210
Deputy ball girl, that's you!
576
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:53,116
[announcer] We've got ourselves
an old-fashioned pitcher's duel.
577
00:26:53,140 --> 00:26:53,940
Go, go!
578
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,510
[announcer]
Can the unorthodox
579
00:26:55,610 --> 00:26:57,110
young Felix Domingo continue...
580
00:26:57,210 --> 00:27:00,020
Ah, look it,
she's running, she's running!
581
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,350
Bang-up job, deputy.
582
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:04,090
[♪ bright music playing]
583
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,290
Ah.
584
00:27:05,990 --> 00:27:08,420
Charlie Cale, I do believe
you found yourself
585
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,060
a rewarding career.
586
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:15,960
[chuckles] I'll do it.
587
00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:20,870
[Charlie groans]
588
00:27:25,670 --> 00:27:26,880
Oh.
589
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,710
Hey, hey.
590
00:27:28,810 --> 00:27:30,510
Hey, that was a heck
of a first game.
591
00:27:30,610 --> 00:27:33,280
I, uh, like your style, kid.
592
00:27:35,050 --> 00:27:36,990
Did you know that God is a verb?
593
00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:39,590
I did not know that.
594
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:40,760
Oh...
595
00:27:41,190 --> 00:27:43,260
How about some water
or something?
596
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,760
God. [chuckles]
597
00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:47,300
God isn't God.
598
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,730
No, you know, like, not,
599
00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:50,870
not like the way
that we were taught.
600
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:55,170
See, God is the music
of the spheres,
601
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,810
the symphonic echo
of radical love
602
00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:00,510
between all living things.
603
00:28:01,210 --> 00:28:03,380
[Charlie] Oh, boy.
Hey, uh, would you mind?
604
00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:06,750
Hmm.
605
00:28:08,550 --> 00:28:09,620
Oh. [snaps fingers]
606
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,050
You know what I should do
is get your autograph
607
00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:13,996
'cause the way you were
throwing out there today,
608
00:28:14,020 --> 00:28:16,460
oh, boy, yeah, you're headed
for the big leagues.
609
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,960
[chuckles]
I'm quitting the game.
610
00:28:19,060 --> 00:28:20,560
- Huh?
- [Felix chuckles]
611
00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:22,900
Because none of this matters.
612
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:27,800
You know, like who wins,
who loses, you see, God...
613
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:31,010
and the monkeys matter.
614
00:28:33,070 --> 00:28:34,110
Hmm.
615
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,600
I really think you should
drink some of that.
616
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:37,650
Huh?
617
00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:39,950
Hey, you have a retirement fund
618
00:28:40,050 --> 00:28:42,680
or a side hustle,
crypto trading or something?
619
00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:44,650
Well, money, eh.
620
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,690
[Charlie]
Don't overthink it.
621
00:28:46,790 --> 00:28:49,390
When inspiration smacks, listen.
622
00:28:49,690 --> 00:28:52,190
Yeah. Smack. Inspiration.
623
00:28:52,290 --> 00:28:53,960
Although they do say
that it's actually
624
00:28:54,060 --> 00:28:57,100
the, uh, the second smack
that gets you, so...
625
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,430
[Felix chuckles]
626
00:28:58,770 --> 00:28:59,530
What's that mean?
627
00:28:59,630 --> 00:29:01,940
I have no idea but, uh, hydrate.
628
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,770
Thank you, ball girl,
for sharing your wisdom.
629
00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:07,080
Yes, of course, anytime.
630
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,210
And, uh, well,
good luck coming down
631
00:29:09,310 --> 00:29:10,950
off whatever you're
coming down from.
632
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:13,010
On?
633
00:29:13,110 --> 00:29:14,280
No, I don't take anything.
634
00:29:14,580 --> 00:29:17,320
Me neither... officer.
635
00:29:17,420 --> 00:29:18,820
Okay, Godspeed.
636
00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:23,830
Godspeed.
637
00:29:24,790 --> 00:29:26,090
Godspeed.
638
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,170
[♪ ominous music playing]
639
00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:38,070
[cart rattling]
640
00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:52,650
[voice] [muffled]
Yum.
641
00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:53,750
Yum.
642
00:29:53,820 --> 00:29:54,690
Yum
643
00:29:54,790 --> 00:29:56,490
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
644
00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:57,990
Yum.
645
00:29:58,630 --> 00:29:59,760
Yum.
646
00:29:59,860 --> 00:30:01,100
Yum!
647
00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:03,100
[louder] Yum.
648
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,630
Yum.
649
00:30:04,730 --> 00:30:07,400
Yum. Yum. Yum
650
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,870
Yum.
651
00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:10,610
- Yum.
- [Charlie laughs]
652
00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:11,840
Yum.
653
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,410
Ah, I don't think so.
654
00:30:13,510 --> 00:30:16,010
- [♪ mystical music playing]
- Yum, yum, yum!
655
00:30:17,510 --> 00:30:20,050
[sock continues, muffled]
656
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:22,080
♪
657
00:30:34,930 --> 00:30:36,970
[creature jabbering]
658
00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,570
- [thud]
- Ah!
659
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:42,970
[man]
Charlie Cale...
660
00:30:43,070 --> 00:30:45,110
[distorted] Charlie Cale...
661
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:47,080
[echoing] the wanderer...
662
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:53,380
It's up to you
to save this ballpark,
663
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,920
to save this team.
664
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,490
It is?
665
00:31:00,490 --> 00:31:01,390
Why?
666
00:31:01,490 --> 00:31:05,230
Because baseball...
is not just a game.
667
00:31:06,390 --> 00:31:09,560
It is the secret of the spheres.
668
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,230
[whooshing]
669
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,970
Are you...
670
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,470
God?
671
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,580
I...
672
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,680
am Hiram Lubinski,
673
00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:27,120
the inventor of
Velvety Canned Cheese
Substitute Spread,
674
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,950
now available in jalapeno
and spicy seafood flavors.
675
00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:34,020
Oh, I get it.
676
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,860
Ah, the mascot is you.
677
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,860
I'm the founder of this ballpark
678
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,200
as well as its
spiritual guardian.
679
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:42,300
Cool.
680
00:31:42,330 --> 00:31:45,400
[Hiram] Baseball is not
just a pastime.
681
00:31:45,730 --> 00:31:48,340
It is the passing
of time itself.
682
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:51,370
Tell me, wanderer,
is it any coincidence
683
00:31:51,470 --> 00:31:57,080
that the goal of every hitter
is to return safely to home?
684
00:31:57,410 --> 00:31:58,650
Huh.
685
00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:01,180
Wow.
686
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,950
This ballpark is home.
687
00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:07,560
Without it, the people
of Montgomery would be lost...
688
00:32:08,290 --> 00:32:11,160
and my granddaughter, Lucille...
689
00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:13,460
would be bereft
690
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,600
with no community,
691
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:17,630
without any sense of belonging.
692
00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:20,240
Do you know what
that is like, Charlie?
693
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:21,540
Yes.
694
00:32:22,170 --> 00:32:24,840
Yes, I... I, I do.
695
00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:26,540
- [Hiram] Then help us.
- Okay.
696
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,080
Protect this ballpark
697
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:31,910
and save this team!
698
00:32:32,010 --> 00:32:33,980
But from what?
699
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,080
Mm, from who?
700
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:37,590
Come home, wanderer.
701
00:32:38,650 --> 00:32:42,120
Every soul seeks to be safe
702
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,260
at home.
703
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,600
[dramatic music swells, stops]
704
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,250
[Charlie groans]
705
00:33:08,450 --> 00:33:09,580
Oh, Charlie?
706
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,720
Wow, my kingdom
for some electrolytes.
707
00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:14,220
[Lucille]
Charlie, Charlie!
708
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,660
What in the world
happened last night?
709
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:24,700
[machine powers down]
710
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:29,470
[Charlie] Oh, my God,
what happened?
711
00:33:29,570 --> 00:33:31,670
Uh, the new guy
stayed late last night
712
00:33:31,770 --> 00:33:33,880
to take some extra BP.
713
00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:35,380
He tried using Rambo.
714
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,750
He got hit in the back
of the head with a fastball.
715
00:33:40,380 --> 00:33:42,980
Uh, I knew I should have had
that machine replaced.
716
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:43,920
I knew that.
717
00:33:44,020 --> 00:33:45,750
I found him this morning.
718
00:33:46,690 --> 00:33:48,260
So Rambo...
719
00:33:49,220 --> 00:33:50,230
killed Felix?
720
00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:52,090
Well, it looks that way.
721
00:33:52,190 --> 00:33:54,460
Lucille, I hate
to bring it up, but...
722
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,730
- What?
- You could be looking
723
00:33:56,830 --> 00:33:59,000
at a wrongful death lawsuit.
724
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,440
- A big one.
- [Lucille] Well, that'll be it.
725
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:04,510
We'd have
to shut down the park,
then move the team.
726
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:06,510
It's the only family I got left.
727
00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:08,186
Oh, no, we're not going
to let that happen.
728
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:11,580
Uh, everybody knew
the machine was faulty.
729
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,780
It is my fault.
730
00:34:14,950 --> 00:34:17,990
Hey, so,
hypothetically speaking,
731
00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:19,990
if, uh, Felix,
we know he was a good kid,
732
00:34:20,090 --> 00:34:23,120
but if Felix here was, uh, high
733
00:34:23,220 --> 00:34:25,030
while he was using
the equipment,
734
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:28,000
would that alleviate
some of this liability?
735
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:30,500
- Well, I guess it...
- [Benny] Yeah.
736
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,470
It would. Why?
737
00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:36,500
Well, I, uh, I think
his gum was laced.
738
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:41,010
Well, if he was on drugs,
it's easy enough to check.
739
00:34:41,110 --> 00:34:41,980
It is?
740
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,380
Yeah, a simple reagent test.
741
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,510
Oh.
742
00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:47,620
Retired cop.
743
00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:50,550
Okay. Uh, well, hmm.
744
00:34:50,650 --> 00:34:52,450
Okay, terrific.
745
00:35:00,060 --> 00:35:02,430
Negative, no sign of drugs.
746
00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:03,570
Wait, what?
747
00:35:03,670 --> 00:35:05,530
Oh, gosh, man.
I know I was tripping so hard.
748
00:35:05,630 --> 00:35:07,340
And we all saw Felix
on that mound.
749
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,440
He was like a guy at
a Phish concert at the Sphere.
750
00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:11,210
I mean, come on,
he was tripping.
751
00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:13,170
- Geez.
- Honey.
752
00:35:13,270 --> 00:35:14,410
[Charlie] What?
753
00:35:14,510 --> 00:35:16,410
[Lucille]
Appreciate your concern,
754
00:35:16,510 --> 00:35:17,910
but the last thing I wanna do
755
00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:20,480
is sully this kid's reputation.
756
00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:23,750
I've done enough damage already.
757
00:35:24,050 --> 00:35:26,050
Lucille, this is not on you.
758
00:35:26,150 --> 00:35:27,590
We're going to figure
this out, okay?
759
00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:29,920
I talked to Felix.
He told me he was straight.
760
00:35:30,030 --> 00:35:32,590
He wasn't lying.
Something is amiss.
761
00:35:32,690 --> 00:35:34,630
We'll have more on Felix Domingo
762
00:35:34,730 --> 00:35:35,960
as the story develops.
763
00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,300
- [knocking on door]
- Skip.
764
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,770
Hell of a start to the day.
765
00:35:39,870 --> 00:35:41,200
[TV shuts off]
766
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:42,740
You need something?
767
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,970
Yeah, I do, I sure do.
768
00:35:45,710 --> 00:35:48,410
So Felix in last night's game,
769
00:35:48,510 --> 00:35:50,810
uh, just a gut check,
770
00:35:50,910 --> 00:35:52,180
he look alright to you?
771
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:53,450
He looked great.
772
00:35:53,550 --> 00:35:55,980
He was higher than a fly
on Willie Nelson's wall.
773
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:57,790
- Yeah.
- But whatever it takes.
774
00:35:57,890 --> 00:35:59,990
I mean, I don't judge.
775
00:36:00,090 --> 00:36:02,120
I mean, I'm working
on not judging.
776
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,190
Something I'm working on.
777
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:07,100
[Deb Lux] [on TV]
It's not all sad news today.
778
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,270
Some lucky citizen
has won $3 million
779
00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,230
betting on last night's
historic Cheesemonger loss.
780
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,470
A five-game parlay
at 22-to-one odds
781
00:36:15,570 --> 00:36:17,310
- was cashed in at a...
- Jesus.
782
00:36:17,710 --> 00:36:18,940
Sad, isn't it?
783
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,280
Used to be fans actually rooted
784
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,680
for the home team.
785
00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:24,310
Win or lose, we were
all in it together.
786
00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:27,550
Now it's all about the odds
and working the angles.
787
00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:30,620
Getting rich
by expecting the worst.
788
00:36:34,890 --> 00:36:36,160
[Charlie]
Beep beep.
789
00:36:36,260 --> 00:36:37,290
Huh.
790
00:36:37,390 --> 00:36:39,530
Uh, hiya, Carl.
791
00:36:39,890 --> 00:36:41,600
Can I ask you a question?
792
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:42,936
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Charlie] Uh,
793
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,770
do you know if anyone had
a, uh, a grudge against Felix?
794
00:36:46,870 --> 00:36:50,110
'Cause, uh, I think
someone spiked his gum.
795
00:36:50,570 --> 00:36:53,270
Why would anybody have it out
for the new guy? [chuckles]
796
00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:55,180
Oh, wow!
797
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,850
Super cool!
Is that a...
798
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,710
That's a no grill, huh?
Is it solid gold?
799
00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:02,680
My aunt died and left me
a real big inheritance.
800
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:04,090
Yeah, bullshit.
801
00:37:04,650 --> 00:37:07,360
I won it playing trivia
down at the, uh, pub.
802
00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:08,936
Obvious bullshit.
I mean, I don't even need
803
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,260
my special thing for that one.
804
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,430
- Whoa.
- What are you bothering me for?
805
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,000
I'm just a ball player,
806
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,930
a regular
minor league ball player.
807
00:37:16,030 --> 00:37:17,300
Yeah, yeah, no.
808
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,270
I, uh, I know you are.
809
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,270
Nobody wanted the kid
to get hurt, alright?
810
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,180
[clicks tongue]
Right, obviously.
811
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,010
Yeah, no, obviously not.
It's just, uh...
812
00:37:32,510 --> 00:37:33,850
y-you did, right?
813
00:37:33,950 --> 00:37:35,320
You-you spiked his gum.
814
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,820
Just to get him
out the game though,
815
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,750
and then he went and
fucked around with Rambo.
816
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:42,460
And the whole thing was
a freak accident.
817
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,390
I mean, I-I feel bad
about it, really.
818
00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:47,730
I believe you, I do.
819
00:37:47,830 --> 00:37:51,030
I-I just, um, I'm trying
to square, you know...
820
00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:53,340
I mean, here's Felix,
he's throwing a no hitter.
821
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,100
Why would you want him
out the game?
822
00:37:55,700 --> 00:37:58,470
Strip club after
the game, fellas!
823
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:01,080
- [group] Hell yeah!
- Drinks on your boy!
824
00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,050
What's good, ball girl?
825
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:09,350
I see.
826
00:38:09,450 --> 00:38:11,220
They spiked the gum
that killed Felix
827
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,560
so that they could,
uh, lose the game
and win the bet.
828
00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,596
It's not like we're talking
criminal masterminds here.
829
00:38:15,620 --> 00:38:17,760
All they gotta do is check
these guys' bank accounts.
830
00:38:17,860 --> 00:38:19,430
Yeah, but you need
a search warrant
831
00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:20,930
to check a bank account.
832
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:23,970
Right now, there isn't
enough evidence to get one.
833
00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:25,270
I-I-I don't understand.
834
00:38:25,330 --> 00:38:27,046
They're just going to let
the ballpark close?
835
00:38:27,070 --> 00:38:28,100
That doesn't seem right.
836
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,540
I mean, what about an autopsy?
837
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,240
There's gotta be
some kind of, uh, evidence
838
00:38:32,340 --> 00:38:35,440
what kind of drug it was that
they put inside Felix's gum, no?
839
00:38:35,540 --> 00:38:38,350
Well, I asked my old partner
to send me a copy of the report.
840
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:39,910
It should be
getting here any minute.
841
00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:41,580
- Hmm.
- [phone chimes]
842
00:38:43,180 --> 00:38:45,820
Okay, here's the autopsy report.
843
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,020
Let's see.
844
00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:52,190
Uh, yep, death
by blunt force trauma.
845
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,500
Let's see, did they
even do a tox report?
846
00:38:56,030 --> 00:38:58,530
Hey, uh, could I take
a look at that?
847
00:38:58,630 --> 00:39:00,300
Oh, sure, be my guest.
848
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,570
Oh, thanks.
849
00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:07,180
I wanna save
that ballpark too, you know?
850
00:39:07,540 --> 00:39:10,580
My old man used to take me
there every weekend.
851
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,210
There's nothing better
than a Sunday double header
852
00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:15,050
with your pops. [chuckles]
853
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,390
Well, I don't even really know
what I'm looking at here,
854
00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:20,720
but I think it says here
that the ball was going
855
00:39:20,820 --> 00:39:22,260
over a hundred miles an hour.
856
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,260
What's that?
857
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,130
The ball that killed Felix,
858
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:27,130
according to this
coroner's report,
859
00:39:27,230 --> 00:39:28,960
it looks like the skull fracture
860
00:39:29,060 --> 00:39:31,830
was caused by a ball
861
00:39:31,930 --> 00:39:35,170
that was over
a hundred miles an hour.
862
00:39:35,270 --> 00:39:36,270
Wow.
863
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,270
I didn't think Rambo had
that kind of speed in him.
864
00:39:39,370 --> 00:39:41,110
Yeah, no shit, Benny.
No shit.
865
00:39:41,210 --> 00:39:43,810
[machine rattling]
866
00:39:43,910 --> 00:39:45,180
Ah, shise.
867
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,980
Come on, Rambo,
you Cold War relic.
868
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:49,480
You can do better than that.
869
00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:52,090
Concentrate, concentrate!
870
00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:53,520
Let 'er rip!
871
00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:58,090
- [Russ] Hey.
- Oh!
872
00:39:58,190 --> 00:39:59,830
Benny said you wanted to talk.
873
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:01,000
Yeah, hi, Russ.
874
00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:02,630
Quick question.
875
00:40:02,730 --> 00:40:04,200
Is there anyone on either team
876
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:05,830
that can throw over a hundred?
877
00:40:05,930 --> 00:40:09,000
Nah, anyone throws that fast,
they're not doing it here.
878
00:40:09,100 --> 00:40:10,770
That's a ticket to the show.
879
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,010
Yeah, that's what I thought.
880
00:40:14,110 --> 00:40:15,280
Why you wanna know?
881
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:16,516
It's just the coroner, you know,
882
00:40:16,540 --> 00:40:18,010
he had mentioned
that the fastball
883
00:40:18,110 --> 00:40:19,480
that killed Felix, uh,
884
00:40:19,580 --> 00:40:21,680
well, it was going
over a hundred at least.
885
00:40:21,780 --> 00:40:24,850
And, uh, well, we all know
that Rambo here can't do that,
886
00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:27,120
and, and you can't either, so...
887
00:40:27,220 --> 00:40:28,390
Thanks a lot.
888
00:40:28,490 --> 00:40:29,636
No, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
889
00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:30,980
It's just, you know,
the other day
890
00:40:31,030 --> 00:40:32,306
you had said that
you lost your fastball
891
00:40:32,330 --> 00:40:35,330
and you hadn't been
able to throw over 90
for years now.
892
00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:38,200
So, uh, you weren't lying.
893
00:40:38,630 --> 00:40:40,940
I don't know.
I mean, all things considered,
894
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,740
I figured you were
the guy to ask.
895
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,540
Uh, thinking to myself,
896
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,570
I mean, what am I
overlooking, you know?
897
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,340
Look, I gotta go home
and get some shuteye, alright?
898
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,910
I'm pitching
my last game tomorrow.
899
00:40:51,010 --> 00:40:54,450
Hey, how about after the game,
900
00:40:54,550 --> 00:40:56,280
I buy you a round,
901
00:40:56,380 --> 00:40:58,120
celebrate your victory, huh?
902
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:00,060
I'd like that.
903
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,160
I'm not counting on it,
but I'd like it.
904
00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:03,890
Never say die.
905
00:41:04,490 --> 00:41:06,430
This is the end
of the road for me.
906
00:41:06,830 --> 00:41:09,060
Like you said,
my fastball's gone
907
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:10,630
and it's not comin' back.
908
00:41:12,230 --> 00:41:13,600
Bullshit.
909
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,140
I wish it was, Charlie.
910
00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:17,910
I wish it was.
911
00:41:18,010 --> 00:41:19,270
[chuckles]
912
00:41:23,850 --> 00:41:27,550
- [crowd cheers]
- [♪ cheery organ music playing]
913
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,790
I don't have
to remind any of you
914
00:41:33,890 --> 00:41:36,620
that this is Russ's last game.
915
00:41:37,830 --> 00:41:42,260
It's probably our team's
last game in this great park.
916
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,970
So let's go out there
and stop this losing streak!
917
00:41:46,070 --> 00:41:48,870
- [team claps]
- [player] Yeah, yeah.
918
00:41:48,970 --> 00:41:50,210
[Skip]
Let's win for Russ.
919
00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:52,540
Yeah!
Let's fucking go, Rocket!
920
00:41:53,170 --> 00:41:54,610
For Felix.
921
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,650
- For the Lubinski family.
- [player] Yeah, that's right!
922
00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:00,620
And for these fans
923
00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:03,690
who have suffered with us
for all these goddamn years.
924
00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,450
- Yeah, right!
- Yeah!
925
00:42:05,550 --> 00:42:06,670
[Skip]
And while we're at it,
926
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,890
let's win one for
927
00:42:07,990 --> 00:42:09,820
good old-fashioned monogamy.
928
00:42:11,590 --> 00:42:12,760
Whoo!
929
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:14,660
Yeah!
930
00:42:16,630 --> 00:42:18,870
- [exhales]
- [Charlie] Hey, so what was it?
931
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,540
- What was what?
- Well, you know,
932
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,010
what cleared your head
and got you that, uh,
933
00:42:24,110 --> 00:42:25,240
your fastball back?
934
00:42:26,070 --> 00:42:26,910
[Russ] What?
935
00:42:27,010 --> 00:42:28,940
Well, uh, the other night
at the pub, you know,
936
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,310
you said that
you lost your fastball
and it was the truth.
937
00:42:31,410 --> 00:42:32,456
But then last night, you said
938
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:33,696
the same thing,
and it was a lie.
939
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,420
So sometime in between,
something happened
940
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:39,190
that fixed that mental block
and got you your fastball back.
941
00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:40,530
- What was it?
- [Russ chuckles]
942
00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:42,960
Charlie, no offense,
943
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,090
but you sound
batshit crazy right now.
944
00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:47,160
Well, cards on the table,
945
00:42:47,260 --> 00:42:48,636
I know that you guys
have been throwing
946
00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:50,730
these last few games,
and I also know
947
00:42:50,830 --> 00:42:52,270
that you spiked Felix's gum.
948
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:53,700
Your buddy Carl admitted it.
949
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,440
Jesus, Carl.
950
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,940
Gotta say I didn't think
you were involved.
951
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,216
Nah, 'cause, you know,
you didn't play
952
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:02,240
during those last five losses
that scored you
953
00:43:02,340 --> 00:43:05,880
the big payout,
and also 'cause I liked you.
954
00:43:06,580 --> 00:43:09,020
But then, then
I put it together.
955
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,820
You were supposed to start
that last game, not Felix.
956
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,290
That's why the guys
were trying to get him out
957
00:43:14,390 --> 00:43:16,020
and get you in.
958
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,430
Alright, fine.
959
00:43:17,530 --> 00:43:19,330
We threw those last few games.
So what?
960
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:20,630
Have you seen our record?
961
00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:22,130
We were going to lose anyway.
962
00:43:22,230 --> 00:43:26,070
Gosh, cashing in
on your own failure.
963
00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:28,500
That's where you ended up.
964
00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:32,710
So you're born with this
one-in-a-million gift.
965
00:43:32,810 --> 00:43:34,080
And then, what?
966
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:37,980
You throw it all away
like a total fucking loser.
967
00:43:38,810 --> 00:43:39,980
[ball clinks]
968
00:43:41,980 --> 00:43:42,980
Aha.
969
00:43:43,550 --> 00:43:44,620
I see.
970
00:43:45,450 --> 00:43:48,760
So that's what Felix told you
the night you murdered him,
971
00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:50,090
and that's what got you
972
00:43:50,190 --> 00:43:53,630
your 100-mile-per-hour
fastball back.
973
00:43:53,730 --> 00:43:55,360
Hearing the truth.
974
00:43:55,460 --> 00:43:57,100
I'm about to go prove
975
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,270
in front of a stadium
full of people
976
00:43:59,370 --> 00:44:02,570
that I'm all washed up
with nothing left in this arm,
977
00:44:02,670 --> 00:44:04,240
so you got nothing, ball girl.
978
00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:06,910
Why don't you go sit
your nosy ass down
979
00:44:07,340 --> 00:44:08,940
and enjoy our final loss?
980
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,250
Yeah.
981
00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:14,150
Oh, uh, before I forget,
there's this, uh,
982
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:16,950
a big league scout
in the stands.
983
00:44:17,050 --> 00:44:19,420
[laughs] Bullshit.
Pathetic.
984
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,260
Alright, alright alright...
985
00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:23,960
Why would a scout be
at a Cheesemongers game?
986
00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:27,530
Skip said something
about an open roster slot
987
00:44:27,630 --> 00:44:29,130
and needing some bullpen heat
988
00:44:29,230 --> 00:44:31,030
there in the show,
whatever that means.
989
00:44:31,130 --> 00:44:33,470
Anyway, I probably shouldn't
have said anything.
990
00:44:33,570 --> 00:44:35,300
I don't wanna get in your head.
991
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:39,310
[♪ ominous music playing]
992
00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:50,166
[announcer] [on loudspeaker]:
Your starting pitcher...
993
00:44:50,190 --> 00:44:51,920
[voice echoing]
994
00:44:52,750 --> 00:44:54,920
[announcer]
For the very last time...
995
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,190
our hometown hero...
996
00:44:58,290 --> 00:44:59,560
[crowd cheering]
997
00:44:59,660 --> 00:45:02,660
"Rocket" Russ Waddell!
998
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,100
[♪ organ playing cheery tune]
999
00:45:07,670 --> 00:45:10,370
[cheering continues]
1000
00:45:11,310 --> 00:45:13,440
[announcer]
"Rocket" Russ Waddell readies
1001
00:45:13,540 --> 00:45:15,310
for his first pitch.
1002
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,980
The entire ballpark is
on the edge of their seats
1003
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:24,150
hoping for one more flash
of that classic Rocket heat.
1004
00:45:24,250 --> 00:45:26,420
[crowd cheering]
1005
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,930
[♪ ominous music playing]
1006
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,840
Hey, batter, batter, batter,
batter, batter, batter, batter!
1007
00:45:56,550 --> 00:45:58,990
[crowd cheers]
1008
00:46:04,490 --> 00:46:06,660
[Charlie] Alright,
everybody up, let's go!
1009
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:08,900
- Rocket!
- [crowd] Rocket!
1010
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,970
Rocket! Rocket!
1011
00:46:11,070 --> 00:46:12,770
Rocket!
Rocket!
1012
00:46:12,870 --> 00:46:14,470
Rocket! Rocket!
1013
00:46:14,570 --> 00:46:16,500
Rocket! Rocket!
1014
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,240
Rocket!
Rocket!
1015
00:46:18,340 --> 00:46:20,510
Rocket! Rocket!
1016
00:46:20,610 --> 00:46:22,310
Rocket!
Rocket!
1017
00:46:22,410 --> 00:46:24,250
Rocket! Rocket!
1018
00:46:24,350 --> 00:46:25,880
Rocket!
Rocket!
1019
00:46:25,980 --> 00:46:27,550
Rocket! Rocket!
1020
00:46:27,650 --> 00:46:30,050
[crowd fades]
Rocket! Rocket!
1021
00:46:30,150 --> 00:46:31,950
♪
1022
00:46:36,020 --> 00:46:37,190
- [ball thwacks]
- Strike!
1023
00:46:37,290 --> 00:46:38,930
Oh!
1024
00:46:43,030 --> 00:46:46,200
[crowd cheering]
1025
00:46:46,300 --> 00:46:48,240
Go, go, go, go!
1026
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,010
Yeah!
1027
00:46:58,210 --> 00:46:59,980
I want all exits guarded.
1028
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,280
Ball girl was right.
1029
00:47:01,380 --> 00:47:03,450
Our suspect is
"Rocket" Russell Waddell.
1030
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,890
[indistinct radio chatter]
1031
00:47:15,460 --> 00:47:17,530
♪
1032
00:47:21,540 --> 00:47:23,170
Show 'em what you got, kid.
1033
00:47:23,270 --> 00:47:24,970
[crowd]
Rocket! Rocket!
1034
00:47:25,070 --> 00:47:26,880
Rocket!
Rocket!
1035
00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:28,840
Rocket! Rocket!
1036
00:47:28,940 --> 00:47:30,780
Rocket!
Rocket!
1037
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,510
Rocket! Rocket!
1038
00:47:32,610 --> 00:47:34,520
Rocket!
Rocket!
1039
00:47:34,620 --> 00:47:37,120
[♪ "Glory Days" resumes}
1040
00:47:37,220 --> 00:47:38,550
♪ Yeah ♪
1041
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,260
- ♪ Come on ♪
- [ball thwacks]
1042
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:42,620
♪ Whoo ♪
1043
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:47,560
♪ Huh! ♪
1044
00:47:50,270 --> 00:47:54,200
♪ I had a friend was
a big baseball player ♪
1045
00:47:54,570 --> 00:47:57,240
♪ Back in high school ♪
1046
00:47:58,910 --> 00:48:02,310
♪ He could throw
that speedball by you ♪
1047
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,650
♪ Make you look
like a fool, boy ♪
1048
00:48:06,580 --> 00:48:09,950
♪ Saw him the other night
at this roadside bar ♪
1049
00:48:10,050 --> 00:48:13,360
♪ I was walking in,
he was walking out ♪
1050
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:18,360
♪ We went back inside,
sat down, had a few drinks ♪
1051
00:48:18,460 --> 00:48:22,360
♪ But all he kept
talking about was ♪
1052
00:48:22,460 --> 00:48:23,630
♪ Glory days ♪
1053
00:48:24,270 --> 00:48:27,740
♪ Well, they'll pass
you by, glory days ♪
1054
00:48:28,340 --> 00:48:32,070
♪ In the wink of a young
girl's eye, glory days ♪
1055
00:48:32,540 --> 00:48:35,940
♪ Glory days ♪
1056
00:48:37,380 --> 00:48:38,710
♪ Alright ♪
1057
00:48:38,810 --> 00:48:41,550
♪ Well, there's a girl
that lives up the block... ♪
68252
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