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1
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:14,900
HI removed, cleaned, corrected and
timing moved slightly ahead by Tronar
2
00:00:15,457 --> 00:00:17,584
Stop the music!
3
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:22,422
- What's up, duck?
- What's up?! I'll tell you what's up.
4
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:26,342
I'm taking charge here,
that's what's up.
5
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:31,848
Fifty years of you hogging
the spotlight is enough.
6
00:00:32,474 --> 00:00:35,268
I am riding the shield from now on...
7
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:40,106
...because I, personally,
have all the talent around here.
8
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,443
Okay, mac, let's take it from the top.
9
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,403
Okay, far enough.
10
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:49,115
Now then. Camera! Music! Sound!
11
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:57,290
Oh-ho. Very funny.
12
00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:01,419
You may expect to hear
from my attorneys.
13
00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:18,519
If I'm not gonna star in this cartoon,
let's just start the movie.
14
00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:20,271
Roll them!
15
00:03:11,842 --> 00:03:13,468
Mr. Wing?
16
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:23,269
Daniel Clamp would like
to speak to you.
17
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:37,867
Good morning, Mr. Wing.
Let's cut right to key issues, okay?
18
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,204
I'll increase my offer substantially.
19
00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:45,249
You're attached to your business.
I appreciate that.
20
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:50,171
I'm attached to mine. I develop
the biggest buildings in New York.
21
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:52,215
And you sell...
22
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:56,969
...little things.
That's fine. Take a look.
23
00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:01,974
"The Clamp Chinatown Centre,
where business gets Oriented."
24
00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:06,103
You're the only holdout.
Here's what I'll do for you:
25
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,732
A newsstand and souvenir concession
in the atrium.
26
00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:11,901
This building will be modern...
27
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:16,072
...from voice-activated elevators
to self-cleaning ashtrays.
28
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:20,701
I'm really excited about it,
and I'd hate to see you miss out.
29
00:04:21,912 --> 00:04:25,414
Please, let us know
when you've made a decision.
30
00:04:25,582 --> 00:04:29,669
You know, I believe there's
always an area of agreement...
31
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,255
...that two people can reach.
32
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:40,137
Yes. A man can always
agree with others.
33
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:44,976
It is more difficult
to agree with oneself.
34
00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:47,270
That's very charming.
35
00:04:47,479 --> 00:04:49,021
Confucius...
36
00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,107
...or Bruce Lee?
37
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,781
I'm sorry. Please tell Mr. Clamp...
38
00:04:58,991 --> 00:05:02,201
...that the answer is still no.
39
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,706
Please...
40
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,375
...keep the TV.
41
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,046
TV!
42
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,223
Rambo.
43
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:34,317
To survive a war,
you gotta become war.
44
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,573
Television again.
45
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:44,035
An invention for fools!
46
00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:55,671
I'm sorry that didn't work out.
Mr. Clamp's offer was generous.
47
00:05:55,881 --> 00:05:59,258
Did you hear that cough?
He's an antique.
48
00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:01,093
We can wait.
49
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:05,848
I'm Daniel Clamp.
No New York visit is complete...
50
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:09,602
...without touring the world's
most automated building:
51
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:13,773
Clamp Premiere Regency
Trade Centre and Retail Concourse.
52
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,776
Headquarters of Clamp Enterprises...
53
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,362
...and CCN, Clamp Cable Network.
54
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:26,494
Mr. Wing's death removes
the last obstacle...
55
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:30,122
...to developer Daniel Clamp's
long-delayed project.
56
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:34,293
This quaint shop, which once
housed rare Oriental objects...
57
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,797
...now makes way for the future,
Daniel Clamp style.
58
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:43,112
Lewis, it's like I've always said:
59
00:07:43,321 --> 00:07:47,950
"If you want to find something weird,
you have to go downtown."
60
00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:57,168
The Futtermans come
to town tomorrow.
61
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,880
Mr. Futterman must be better
if he can travel.
62
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:04,383
His wife says he is better.
He was just rattled.
63
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:09,430
Having monsters drive a snowplow
through your house will do that.
64
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,724
Well, he was almost killed.
65
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:17,021
- These people are so rude!
- Honey, what time is it?
66
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,565
God, we're late. There's a cab.
67
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,245
- You going airport?
- No. Actually, I'm just...
68
00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:40,211
After all this time,
I'm still in the same job.
69
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,837
It takes time, Billy.
70
00:08:42,047 --> 00:08:45,549
In Kingston Falls, I'd have been
promoted twice at the bank by now.
71
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,176
Yeah, and you'd hate it.
72
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:52,014
At least we could afford
a decent place to live. Get married.
73
00:08:54,351 --> 00:08:56,936
Welcome to the Clamp Entry-matic...
74
00:08:57,145 --> 00:09:01,398
...a revolution in revolving door
precision and efficiency.
75
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:15,830
Please be careful in stepping in
and out and have a powerful day.
76
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:23,087
That's the story of the
Clamp Premiere Regency Centre...
77
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,215
...where one man's dream
became a reality.
78
00:09:26,424 --> 00:09:29,552
I hope you enjoyed today's tour.
Don't forget:
79
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:33,764
Pick up Mr. Clamp's best-selling
book, I Took Manhattan...
80
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,643
...on sale right here
at our newsstand for only 19.95.
81
00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:39,395
And in our gift store...
82
00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:41,522
- Don't let them get to you.
- I won't.
83
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:46,443
Billy, you're so good at your job.
Sooner or later, they'll notice.
84
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,156
- Maybe then we can get married.
- Okay, hon.
85
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,825
- Bye.
- Bye.
86
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:56,495
- Marla, the first plan...
- The deadline's not my fault.
87
00:09:56,663 --> 00:10:01,167
They make me miserable, so I make
you miserable. It's a disaster.
88
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,086
They changed the specs
and the deadline...
89
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:09,341
See, this is your problem right here.
You only see your little part of it.
90
00:10:09,551 --> 00:10:13,846
I need a complete situational,
long-term, overview perspective.
91
00:10:14,055 --> 00:10:17,850
It's almost finished.
I just have a few adjustments...
92
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:21,687
The courtyard looks cold.
It'd be better with trees.
93
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,690
- Will they plant trees?
- No. But draw them.
94
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,233
- But the...
- Elms.
95
00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:30,863
- But the shrubbery looks...
- This attitude doesn't work for me.
96
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,865
Good morning, Mr. Forster.
97
00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:38,621
It looks like somebody hasn't read
his employee manual. Doesn't it, Mr...
98
00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:40,331
- Peltzer.
- ...Peltzer?
99
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:44,627
- Unauthorized potted plant.
- I told him about it weeks ago.
100
00:10:44,836 --> 00:10:47,838
- I talked to you about that plant!
- I know. I was gonna...
101
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,341
Possible aphid infestation.
102
00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:55,054
- What's this?
- That's Kingston Falls. My hometown.
103
00:10:56,765 --> 00:11:00,809
Do you know how much
the Clamp organization has spent...
104
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:05,356
...to provide its employees
with art by recognized artists...
105
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:11,070
...at this facility? Eye-pleasing,
color-coordinated, authorized.
106
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:15,115
- But it was just a little...
- A little touch. I know.
107
00:11:15,325 --> 00:11:18,786
Maybe everybody here
wants to do a little touch.
108
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:22,289
Coffee mugs that say,
"World's Greatest Lover."
109
00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:27,419
The ashtray that reads, "Rest Your
Butt Here." You'd like that, right?
110
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:32,091
Coming to work every day
in a $200,000,000...
111
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,260
...flea market.
112
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:40,349
Billy, this is just
what I don't need right now.
113
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,644
The department review's
in three weeks.
114
00:11:43,812 --> 00:11:47,564
- I just felt that...
- It's a nuclear meltdown disaster.
115
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:53,237
- Marla, I am doing the best I can.
- Billy, do me a favor.
116
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:55,322
Do better!
117
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,076
We've got a low corrosivity reading.
118
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,288
Give me a wave form on temps.
119
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,875
Mr. Forster, I have
a potential violator, sir.
120
00:12:19,681 --> 00:12:24,935
That's an unauthorized break period,
friend. You don't work here anymore.
121
00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:31,150
Do we have a problem communicating?
You're gone. Terminated.
122
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:36,155
End of medical benefits, that's right.
Clean out the desk, one hour.
123
00:12:36,531 --> 00:12:37,948
And thanks so much.
124
00:12:40,535 --> 00:12:42,661
Very nice, Frances.
125
00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:48,125
Alert personnel. We have a
career opportunity in level seven.
126
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:52,463
Clamp Centre is the most advanced
"smart building" in America...
127
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:57,134
...with the latest in security,
communications and climate control.
128
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:01,555
It's just one part of Mr. Clamp's
worldwide business network...
129
00:13:01,765 --> 00:13:04,850
...which includes construction,
sports, finance...
130
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,853
...and a popular line
of jams and jellies.
131
00:13:08,063 --> 00:13:10,522
For those with cable TV at home...
132
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:14,068
...CCN is located right here
in the building.
133
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:24,620
The Attack of the Octopus People.
134
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:29,166
That's tonight's movie.
And, boy, is it scary.
135
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,294
It's so scary,
it'll uncross your eyes.
136
00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:37,674
It's a good thing that your
Grandpa Fred is here to protect you.
137
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,427
- Where's the moan?
- The what?
138
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:44,723
There's supposed to be a moan here
from the coffin.
139
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:48,227
Then I say, "Renfield,
you want more flies?"
140
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:51,688
And then I go over
to the coffin and I...
141
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,565
Sorry, Fred.
142
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,151
- Hey, Fred.
- Oh, hi, Billy.
143
00:13:56,361 --> 00:14:00,948
I heard about your new time slot.
They're making a big mistake.
144
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:03,409
Mistake? Kid, it's a disaster.
145
00:14:03,618 --> 00:14:07,618
People who watch TV at 3:30 a.m.
aren't scared of the Wolfman.
146
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:11,447
The only thing that scares those people
is getting sober and finding work.
147
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,002
- Look.
- Watch it with that thing.
148
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:16,004
- Isn't that great?
- Sure.
149
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:21,427
- You could use it on your show.
- Sure. Put it in the back, will you?
150
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,513
Frankly, kid...
151
00:14:26,391 --> 00:14:28,809
...this isn't what I had in mind.
152
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,982
I went into broadcasting,
I thought I was gonna do news...
153
00:14:35,191 --> 00:14:37,109
...public affairs...
154
00:14:37,318 --> 00:14:39,486
...something meaningful.
155
00:14:40,572 --> 00:14:42,573
I don't even have a gimmick.
156
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,950
No special effects.
157
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:51,081
All I have is a cross-eyed
puppet named Igor.
158
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:54,960
The elevator doors have opened.
159
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:59,631
You should run classic horror movies,
like Frankenstein or Dracula.
160
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:04,845
Great horror movies are in black
and white. Mr. Clamp only likes color.
161
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:06,472
That guy's strange.
162
00:15:06,681 --> 00:15:09,057
- Have you seen him?
- Not in person.
163
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:12,644
Only on that cockamamie video
they got all over.
164
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:17,566
Look at this building. You know
what kind of tenants they have now?
165
00:15:17,775 --> 00:15:21,069
There's a genetic research
laboratory upstairs.
166
00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:23,322
Fooling around with animals.
167
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:28,702
Last week, they took out a patent
on a new kind of gerbil.
168
00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:30,662
People think I'm creepy.
169
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,436
- Can I help you?
- Yeah.
170
00:15:54,646 --> 00:15:59,525
- I got a delivery for Dr. Catheter.
- I can sign for it.
171
00:16:00,818 --> 00:16:04,112
What kind of stuff
do they do in there anyway?
172
00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:05,948
We're not supposed to talk about it.
173
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:11,245
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
174
00:16:11,412 --> 00:16:16,875
- Dr. Catheter, this just came for you.
- Splendid. This must be my malaria.
175
00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:24,132
Just rabies. I've got rabies.
I'm supposed to get the flu this week.
176
00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:27,302
I think we have the flu on back order.
177
00:16:28,096 --> 00:16:31,306
- Could I have that, Peggy?
- Oh, yes. Sure.
178
00:16:31,516 --> 00:16:32,849
Thank you.
179
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:39,189
Back order. Back order.
All a man wants is some fresh germs.
180
00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:45,487
Casper, have this tissue analyzed.
181
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:55,414
I am calm and centered.
I enjoy giving milk.
182
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,208
- Martin.
- Hello, doctor.
183
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,545
- How's the cloning coming along?
- Really well.
184
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:05,090
- Lewis.
- We got something for you to look at.
185
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:09,678
It's interesting. I found it
downtown on my specimen scout.
186
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:15,392
It's some sort of rodent, apparently.
And it seems allergic to bright light.
187
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:31,283
- Cute, isn't it?
- That may be genetic.
188
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,077
- We're not sure yet.
- We're not sure.
189
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,487
Watch this, doctor.
190
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,700
♪ Well, I'm ready, I'm willing and I'm able ♪
191
00:17:42,253 --> 00:17:43,670
♪ To rock 'n' roll all night ♪
192
00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:47,716
♪ I'm ready, I'm willing and I'm able ♪
193
00:17:47,884 --> 00:17:49,593
♪ To rock 'n' roll all night ♪
194
00:17:49,761 --> 00:17:51,261
♪ Come on, pretty baby ♪
195
00:17:52,013 --> 00:17:54,723
♪ We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll ♪
♪ Till the broad daylight ♪
196
00:17:54,891 --> 00:17:57,225
♪ Because I'm ready, mm-hm ♪
197
00:17:57,727 --> 00:18:00,020
♪ And I'm able, mm-hm ♪
198
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:03,899
♪ I'm willing and I'm able ♪
♪ So you better come and go with me ♪
199
00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:05,984
He likes this music?
200
00:18:06,194 --> 00:18:08,403
- Yes.
- It's his favorite.
201
00:18:08,571 --> 00:18:10,280
♪ Till tomorrow 'bout 3 ♪
202
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,494
Not so fast, my boy.
203
00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:20,999
- You nearly let him get away.
- Sorry, sir.
204
00:18:23,544 --> 00:18:27,214
- What procedure do you propose to adopt?
- Cell samples tomorrow.
205
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:31,510
- Tissue cultures Thursday.
- Then of course there's body structure.
206
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,847
And for that, my little friend...
207
00:18:36,974 --> 00:18:40,352
...we'll just have to cut you.
208
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:46,983
I can't believe she told me to put
trees on that drawing. It just...
209
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,152
My light went out.
210
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:53,198
You sat still, so the building
thinks you left. Jump around.
211
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,325
Okay, hold on.
212
00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:01,790
You're right, I need...
Hello? Hello?
213
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:07,713
Honey? Hello?
Kate, are you there? Kate?
214
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:11,925
Nothing works around here.
215
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:22,644
Excuse me? Where'd you hear that?
216
00:19:23,104 --> 00:19:25,814
- What?
- That music. Where'd you hear it?
217
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:30,569
Oh, uh, da-da, da-da-da-da.
218
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:34,364
- Isn't that by Sting?
- No. It's not by Sting. Think.
219
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:39,244
Oh, hey, I know. I was up
in that laboratory. You know, on 51.
220
00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:41,872
And somebody was humming it.
221
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:54,134
Hi, I hear your copier's down.
222
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:55,844
- Oh, it is?
- Yeah.
223
00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:58,930
- It's back there.
- Thank you.
224
00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:07,773
We're ready, doctor.
225
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,907
This is the most interesting
bioelectrical work I've done.
226
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:21,703
Just think. Millions of rats in
New York, and everyone hates them.
227
00:20:21,913 --> 00:20:26,291
But if one of them could power
a portable radio for a month...
228
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,293
Gizmo, I'm here.
229
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:36,134
Watch this, doctor.
230
00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:40,722
Definite progress, gentlemen.
231
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,774
Shh. Be quiet.
232
00:20:54,612 --> 00:20:58,073
If only we could make it safe
to touch them.
233
00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:02,369
Still, they'd be good
in flashlights, wouldn't they?
234
00:21:02,578 --> 00:21:05,455
Where there's flashlights,
there's dark.
235
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,582
And they like the dark.
236
00:21:10,211 --> 00:21:13,880
- Theodore! How'd you get out?
- Alvin, put down that DNA!
237
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:26,309
Mister, welcome to the men's room.
238
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:33,191
Hey, pal, I sure hope
you washed those hands.
239
00:21:56,966 --> 00:22:00,302
Hey, guy, how you doing?
240
00:22:00,511 --> 00:22:02,345
Did you miss me?
241
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:06,057
Yeah. Me too.
242
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:17,694
So, what are you doing here?
What were those guys doing to you?
243
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,405
Wow. That bad, huh?
244
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:22,699
Uh-huh.
245
00:22:22,867 --> 00:22:25,785
You wanna come out?
Come here. It's okay.
246
00:22:25,995 --> 00:22:29,372
Come with me. I got you.
I'll take care of you.
247
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,708
Everything's gonna be fine.
248
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:35,003
- What is this? A black armband?
- Armband.
249
00:22:35,338 --> 00:22:39,215
Is that what happened to the man
who took care of you?
250
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:54,356
You've got to be quiet. You don't want
to go back to the laboratory, do you?
251
00:22:54,565 --> 00:22:58,610
So do me a favor.
Get down there and don't say anything.
252
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:02,489
I'll come back and take you home
as soon as possible.
253
00:23:02,698 --> 00:23:05,867
Okay, that's a good boy. Bye-bye.
254
00:23:07,411 --> 00:23:09,079
It's him! He's here!
255
00:23:10,414 --> 00:23:14,626
Oh, Giz, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay? How's your hand?
256
00:23:15,378 --> 00:23:18,129
Look, he's here. You have to get down.
257
00:23:20,925 --> 00:23:26,137
I'm Marla Bloodstone, the department
head here. If there's anything I can...
258
00:23:26,347 --> 00:23:29,975
That's okay. Everybody just relax.
259
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:33,103
Go on about what you'd
be doing normally.
260
00:23:34,105 --> 00:23:38,858
I know I haven't been here before,
but that'll change. I'll be more...
261
00:23:39,068 --> 00:23:42,153
...hands-on with these
operations from now on.
262
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:47,617
- Hey. This is excellent!
- Isn't that terrific?
263
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:51,329
You've captured the whole
essence of the project.
264
00:23:51,539 --> 00:23:55,875
Look at the kids with the kites.
That's warmth. I like warmth.
265
00:23:56,085 --> 00:23:59,337
- What's your name?
- Billy. William Peltzer, sir.
266
00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:03,466
Bill, huh? That's what we need here,
people who produce.
267
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:08,555
Lose those trees, though. With elm,
people think "Dutch," "disease."
268
00:24:08,764 --> 00:24:10,724
- Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
269
00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:13,643
What's with that drawer?
270
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:17,689
It's automatic. It opens now and then
in case you need something.
271
00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:19,524
Hm.
272
00:24:23,404 --> 00:24:25,739
I didn't know about that.
273
00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:31,369
- Hey! What's that?
- Did you hear that?
274
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:34,080
"People who produce."
275
00:24:34,290 --> 00:24:37,333
He called you Bill. This is very big.
276
00:24:37,543 --> 00:24:42,213
This is a career opportunity
advancement window. For both of us.
277
00:24:42,381 --> 00:24:47,010
- Do you really think so?
- Clearly. We can talk at dinner.
278
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,179
- Great. Sometime next...
- Tonight.
279
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:51,890
- I can't.
- I have something too.
280
00:24:52,099 --> 00:24:54,601
A brochure for the Archery Channel.
281
00:24:54,810 --> 00:24:58,354
It's a total suicide,
red-alert, deadline emergency.
282
00:24:58,564 --> 00:25:02,525
You know what? I'm letting it go
to have dinner with you.
283
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:05,653
I just can't leave
on such short notice.
284
00:25:05,863 --> 00:25:08,323
What is with that drawer, Billy?
285
00:25:08,532 --> 00:25:12,035
- You keeping a pet in there?
- I'm allergic to pets.
286
00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:15,663
It's good Mr. Clamp likes you
because... Let me see.
287
00:25:15,873 --> 00:25:18,500
Maybe tonight would be the best.
288
00:25:18,709 --> 00:25:23,838
There's a chic new Canadian restaurant.
They clean the fish at your table.
289
00:25:24,048 --> 00:25:28,343
- Really? That sounds terrific.
- Just let me grab my bag.
290
00:25:29,470 --> 00:25:31,596
Now, listen. I have to go.
291
00:25:31,764 --> 00:25:35,683
I'll send someone to pick you up.
So just stay put.
292
00:25:40,397 --> 00:25:41,773
- Billy.
- Yeah...
293
00:25:43,818 --> 00:25:45,276
Ready?
294
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:50,281
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sure, I'm ready.
295
00:25:51,659 --> 00:25:55,411
We may see Woody.
They say he eats there incessantly.
296
00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:13,680
- Katie?
- Hi, honey. I'm almost ready.
297
00:26:13,889 --> 00:26:16,307
- I just gotta punch out.
- Hi.
298
00:26:16,517 --> 00:26:20,145
I'm not able to go out
with you tonight. I'm sorry.
299
00:26:20,354 --> 00:26:24,315
- I've got a meeting with some people.
- A meeting? Great.
300
00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:27,443
Listen, I got a big favor
to ask of you.
301
00:26:28,362 --> 00:26:32,657
- Gizmo's here and he...
- That furry thing?
302
00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:35,368
Yeah. He's up in my desk drawer.
303
00:26:35,578 --> 00:26:38,496
Don't do that.
I hate it when you do that.
304
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:40,165
- There's good news.
- What?
305
00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:41,666
You get to take him home.
306
00:26:41,876 --> 00:26:45,170
- Take him home? Our home?
- Yes.
307
00:26:45,671 --> 00:26:48,256
Billy.
308
00:26:48,424 --> 00:26:49,966
- No!
- Why not?
309
00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:52,927
What if they start
running around New York?
310
00:26:53,137 --> 00:26:56,347
They won't, I promise.
Just obey the rules.
311
00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:58,850
- The rules!
- Remember the first one?
312
00:26:59,059 --> 00:27:01,519
Don't expose them to bright light
because it kills them.
313
00:27:01,687 --> 00:27:03,021
Right.
314
00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:05,732
- The second rule...
- Don't let them get wet?
315
00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:07,317
That's right.
316
00:27:07,526 --> 00:27:10,987
The third one is, don't
let them eat after midnight.
317
00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:13,448
- That's very good, honey.
- Wait!
318
00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:26,711
Tonight, on the Clamp
Cable Classic Movie Channel...
319
00:27:26,921 --> 00:27:31,591
...don't miss Casablanca, now in
full color with a happier ending.
320
00:27:31,926 --> 00:27:36,721
With Clamp's annual salary, if he goes
to the bathroom for 30 seconds...
321
00:27:36,931 --> 00:27:40,558
...the man's earning $375
while he stands there.
322
00:27:40,768 --> 00:27:43,561
What can he do?
Can he fix an elevator?
323
00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:46,564
What does it cost
the company for me...
324
00:27:46,774 --> 00:27:49,567
...to get a drink of water,
.0003 cents?
325
00:27:51,946 --> 00:27:56,908
I tell you... A taste
of the wrench for you, my friend.
326
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:03,039
I said not to put new units in.
They don't listen.
327
00:28:03,249 --> 00:28:07,835
They listen to that guy they pay
$375 to go to the bathroom.
328
00:28:08,045 --> 00:28:10,546
I remember the Sip-master Mark IV.
329
00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:16,761
That was a fabulous drinking fountain.
You could squirt it six months...
330
00:28:16,929 --> 00:28:19,764
...and it'd still
be shooting straight.
331
00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:24,060
But those dancing days are done.
332
00:28:42,162 --> 00:28:43,955
The hell with it.
333
00:30:05,287 --> 00:30:08,748
I'm not being paranoid.
The guy's after my job.
334
00:30:08,957 --> 00:30:11,876
That's how it is these days.
All politics.
335
00:30:12,586 --> 00:30:15,296
It's the law of the jungle
around here.
336
00:30:15,506 --> 00:30:19,550
Young guys only care
about one thing, okay? Power.
337
00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:22,053
I'm talking about ruthless.
338
00:30:28,894 --> 00:30:31,396
Gizmo, ca-ca!
339
00:31:16,859 --> 00:31:20,987
Will the owner of the car
with license number 1 AG401...
340
00:31:21,196 --> 00:31:26,367
...please remove it from the parking
garage? Your car is old and dirty.
341
00:31:26,577 --> 00:31:30,329
- State your desired floor number.
- Forty-six, please.
342
00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:38,212
The elevator doors have opened.
Please leave.
343
00:31:54,813 --> 00:31:56,147
Gizmo.
344
00:32:00,777 --> 00:32:02,737
How'd you get up there?
345
00:32:05,282 --> 00:32:08,451
Billy said to take you home,
so I'm just...
346
00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:12,413
I'll put you in my purse
until we're out of the building.
347
00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:16,000
Hello.
348
00:32:16,210 --> 00:32:17,877
Here we go.
349
00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:21,172
Gizmo, you're so hyper.
350
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:24,175
I guess New York does that to people.
351
00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:27,512
Okay, here we go.
352
00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:49,367
Legs.
353
00:33:01,964 --> 00:33:05,841
So did you always know
you wanted to be an artist?
354
00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:08,052
I always knew I liked to draw.
355
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:12,348
When I was a kid, I drew comics.
I had this box of crayons...
356
00:33:12,558 --> 00:33:13,891
I had crayons!
357
00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:18,437
I used them to write memos
to the other kids. Even then, I knew.
358
00:33:18,647 --> 00:33:20,606
That's really something.
359
00:33:20,816 --> 00:33:26,237
We're finally getting to know each
other. You can't do that in an office.
360
00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:28,906
- It's all business.
- Exactly!
361
00:33:29,116 --> 00:33:33,119
Let's talk about your relationship
to Mr. Clamp. Your access.
362
00:33:33,328 --> 00:33:37,582
I see a future. I see corner offices,
embossed letterhead.
363
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,585
I see us swallowing
the publicity department.
364
00:33:40,877 --> 00:33:43,713
Really? Wow...
365
00:33:43,922 --> 00:33:47,383
Gosh. I'm feeling so vulnerable
with you, Billy.
366
00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:50,761
I've never talked
about these feelings before.
367
00:33:51,096 --> 00:33:55,600
When art and business join forces,
anything can happen.
368
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:58,978
I definitely feel we should join...
369
00:34:00,564 --> 00:34:02,440
...forces.
370
00:34:02,816 --> 00:34:04,275
Sir?
371
00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:07,403
This is a Canadian dessert,
chocolate mousse.
372
00:34:07,654 --> 00:34:09,780
Can I cut you an antler?
373
00:34:10,324 --> 00:34:11,657
No, thank you.
374
00:34:11,867 --> 00:34:14,869
You okay?
You want another Molson, eh?
375
00:34:15,078 --> 00:34:17,371
No, thanks. Really, I'm fine.
376
00:34:17,581 --> 00:34:20,916
I gotta go. I got this appointment.
I'm in a hurry.
377
00:34:21,126 --> 00:34:24,503
- I'm sorry about your stocking.
- That's okay, Billy.
378
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:27,798
- See you tomorrow.
- Yeah, great.
379
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,302
How about some horn?
380
00:34:31,637 --> 00:34:33,679
Okay, Gizmo.
381
00:34:34,514 --> 00:34:40,144
Billy said to feed you before midnight.
He didn't say what you like.
382
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:44,649
I hope this is okay.
It's chicken and mashed potatoes...
383
00:34:45,233 --> 00:34:46,859
Oh, God!
384
00:34:53,575 --> 00:34:57,662
Try to be a little more careful
around here, okay?
385
00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:00,831
We don't have money to replace things.
386
00:35:02,668 --> 00:35:04,210
There you go.
387
00:35:19,142 --> 00:35:20,851
- What are you...?
- Bingo!
388
00:35:21,019 --> 00:35:22,269
Yikes!
389
00:35:37,994 --> 00:35:41,038
- Who is it?
- Open up, honey. It's me.
390
00:35:44,459 --> 00:35:47,044
- Hey. Sorry I'm late.
- Hi.
391
00:35:47,254 --> 00:35:48,921
It's okay.
392
00:35:49,131 --> 00:35:50,715
What happened to you?
393
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,718
How was your meeting?
394
00:35:53,927 --> 00:35:56,387
It was fine. Where's Gizmo?
395
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,224
- He's in the kitchen.
- Great. Did you feed him?
396
00:36:00,434 --> 00:36:02,601
- Sort of.
- Giz, guess who's...
397
00:36:02,811 --> 00:36:05,312
Bull's-eye!
...home.
398
00:36:06,398 --> 00:36:07,857
Gizmo?
399
00:36:13,113 --> 00:36:16,490
- Where'd you find him?
- Your office, where you said.
400
00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:18,576
This is not Gizmo.
401
00:36:23,999 --> 00:36:26,917
- We have to go back.
- You said no more...
402
00:36:27,127 --> 00:36:30,546
There won't be,
if they don't eat after midnight.
403
00:36:30,756 --> 00:36:32,298
But look at him.
404
00:36:32,507 --> 00:36:34,592
He's wired.
405
00:36:37,971 --> 00:36:40,181
We have to take him with us.
406
00:36:40,390 --> 00:36:41,891
No...
407
00:36:43,351 --> 00:36:46,604
- Honey, get my bag!
- Okay.
408
00:36:53,153 --> 00:36:55,780
- Great.
- Who could that be? It's late.
409
00:36:55,947 --> 00:36:58,616
- Should I get it?
- You better get it.
410
00:37:00,035 --> 00:37:02,703
- If you wanna get out, be quiet.
- Who is it?
411
00:37:02,871 --> 00:37:04,246
That's better.
412
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,624
Surprise!
413
00:37:07,083 --> 00:37:11,378
Mr. and Mrs. Futterman!
Weren't you coming tomorrow?
414
00:37:11,588 --> 00:37:15,841
The guys in my old outfit
changed the reunion date.
415
00:37:16,051 --> 00:37:19,345
- We had to get on a Greyhound.
- Thirty-two hours.
416
00:37:19,554 --> 00:37:22,515
- Sorry for coming so late.
- That's okay.
417
00:37:22,724 --> 00:37:25,017
Can I get you coffee or tea?
418
00:37:25,227 --> 00:37:29,188
- Little piggers!
- Oh, yeah, the cake blew up.
419
00:37:29,397 --> 00:37:33,359
Billy, this is some crazy city.
We tried to get a cab.
420
00:37:33,568 --> 00:37:36,362
You know they got Russians
driving cabs?
421
00:37:36,571 --> 00:37:41,158
What if someone got in with
a briefcase full of atomic secrets?
422
00:37:41,368 --> 00:37:47,331
Murray, remember what Dr. Kaplan said.
We're going to be nice and calm.
423
00:37:47,541 --> 00:37:51,752
He was a little distressed after
what happened with those...
424
00:37:51,962 --> 00:37:54,129
I'm fine. I'm fine.
425
00:37:54,339 --> 00:37:58,259
I was jumpy for a while, that's all.
What was that?
426
00:37:59,594 --> 00:38:02,596
It's all right, dear. I heard it too.
427
00:38:02,806 --> 00:38:04,390
Of course you did!
428
00:38:04,599 --> 00:38:09,061
The thing is, you can't stay tonight.
I'd love it if you could.
429
00:38:09,271 --> 00:38:12,439
It's just, the building is being...
430
00:38:12,649 --> 00:38:14,692
...fumigated.
- Being renovated.
431
00:38:14,901 --> 00:38:17,027
- Mice and stuff.
- Rats.
432
00:38:17,237 --> 00:38:20,447
No sweat. We'll book into a hotel.
433
00:38:20,657 --> 00:38:24,285
- You know, mice and bugs...
- Hey, that's okay.
434
00:38:24,494 --> 00:38:28,372
You can't be too careful.
There's all kinds of foreign bugs.
435
00:38:28,582 --> 00:38:30,833
Your mom baked you an apple pie.
436
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:33,544
Thanks.
437
00:38:33,753 --> 00:38:37,047
Someone sat on it.
I'm sure it'll taste okay.
438
00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:41,760
Your dad's got some new inventions.
Reversible toilet paper.
439
00:38:41,970 --> 00:38:44,889
We'll call you tomorrow
and have dinner.
440
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:47,391
- Okay, great.
- Good! Marvelous.
441
00:38:47,601 --> 00:38:49,894
- Tomorrow.
- Bye. I'm sorry.
442
00:38:50,103 --> 00:38:52,897
- That's okay.
- Welcome to New York!
443
00:39:00,238 --> 00:39:04,533
Okay, that's a Kona praline
with kiwis and peanut butter cups?
444
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:07,661
Wait. Are the
peanut butter cups all-natural?
445
00:39:07,871 --> 00:39:11,415
I'm not sure. Are the
peanut butter cups all-natural?
446
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,751
I know they're pesticide-free.
447
00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:16,754
It's not the same.
They put other things in.
448
00:39:16,963 --> 00:39:19,256
It comes off when they roast them.
449
00:39:19,424 --> 00:39:21,884
Roasting is the worst.
450
00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:25,554
Where they don't roast,
they have 70 percent less death.
451
00:39:25,764 --> 00:39:27,723
Sure that isn't pickling?
452
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:31,393
How can you work with this
and not read studies?
453
00:39:32,020 --> 00:39:34,229
It's a rat!
454
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:36,982
- Oh, my God!
- What's going on?
455
00:39:37,192 --> 00:39:39,360
- Did she say there are rats?
- No rats.
456
00:39:39,569 --> 00:39:41,278
That's not what she said.
457
00:39:44,532 --> 00:39:49,745
The Entry-matic doors
are being upgraded to serve you better.
458
00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:54,750
Please use the manual doors
for your entering and exiting needs.
459
00:39:54,960 --> 00:40:00,381
A head came up, with big ears.
There was a thing in the topping.
460
00:40:00,590 --> 00:40:03,509
- What kind of thing?
- A furry thing.
461
00:40:03,718 --> 00:40:06,470
It's supposed to be health food.
462
00:40:06,638 --> 00:40:07,972
I want damages!
463
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:11,767
- They've eaten after midnight.
- Come on.
464
00:40:13,561 --> 00:40:15,980
Sorry I brought the wrong one home.
465
00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:20,317
It's my fault. I shouldn't have left
Gizmo. We gotta find him.
466
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:22,361
It's along here.
467
00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:26,323
There. That's where the water
comes into the building.
468
00:40:41,923 --> 00:40:43,424
Give me video.
469
00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:49,513
Security.
470
00:40:53,101 --> 00:40:56,020
At least we can keep them
from getting wet.
471
00:40:57,731 --> 00:41:00,858
Hold it! Get the hell out of there.
472
00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:03,193
Move it! Come on, move!
473
00:41:05,405 --> 00:41:09,158
Looks like I caught a terrorist.
What's in the bag?
474
00:41:09,367 --> 00:41:13,370
- Nothing.
- Yeah? Let's look at that nothing.
475
00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:18,459
- I wouldn't do this if I were you.
- But you aren't me, are you?
476
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:35,726
- We gotta find him before he eats.
- He already ate.
477
00:41:35,894 --> 00:41:39,730
There are more of them.
We gotta shut the building down.
478
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:41,482
We?
479
00:41:41,691 --> 00:41:43,734
We? We!
480
00:41:43,902 --> 00:41:47,946
No, "we" gotta get the cops
and put you in a rubber room.
481
00:41:48,156 --> 00:41:50,741
I'm not crazy. They're dangerous.
482
00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:53,577
I've dealt with them.
They wreck things.
483
00:41:53,787 --> 00:41:55,662
They wreck things!
484
00:41:55,872 --> 00:42:01,293
- Remember Kingston Falls?
- I remember the Kingston Trio.
485
00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:09,593
Let's go, kids. We're home, let's go.
This way. Over here.
486
00:42:13,139 --> 00:42:16,517
- How did you get me out?
- With next month's rent.
487
00:42:16,726 --> 00:42:19,061
- What time is it?
- Around 6:30.
488
00:42:19,270 --> 00:42:22,106
They probably made
their cocoons by now.
489
00:42:22,315 --> 00:42:26,401
- How long do they take to hatch?
- Not long enough. Come on.
490
00:43:01,104 --> 00:43:03,272
Echo!
491
00:43:42,353 --> 00:43:45,230
Gizmo, ca-ca!
492
00:43:47,775 --> 00:43:53,947
Centre is experiencing
illumination system difficulties.
493
00:43:54,157 --> 00:43:56,366
Please try not to notice.
494
00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:59,620
The building is completely
screwed up today.
495
00:43:59,829 --> 00:44:01,371
I know, Fred.
496
00:44:01,581 --> 00:44:04,791
Sure. You're young.
497
00:44:05,001 --> 00:44:07,044
You know everything.
498
00:44:11,341 --> 00:44:14,468
Bright light.
We'll need some of these.
499
00:44:16,763 --> 00:44:18,805
Con Ed.
500
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:24,394
Gizmo, zap, zap!
501
00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:31,443
I have to go to systems control.
502
00:44:31,653 --> 00:44:34,029
- Kate, you're up.
- Good morning, Billy.
503
00:44:34,197 --> 00:44:35,530
Oh, hi.
504
00:44:35,740 --> 00:44:39,576
Last night was wonderful.
We have to do it again.
505
00:44:39,869 --> 00:44:41,912
Marla, this is Kate.
506
00:44:42,121 --> 00:44:45,332
My goodness, I have to go right away.
Hello.
507
00:44:45,541 --> 00:44:48,252
- Hi.
- Cute hat.
508
00:44:49,087 --> 00:44:53,090
Honey, that's my boss.
That's the woman I work with.
509
00:44:53,258 --> 00:44:57,261
If we get through today alive,
you're in big trouble.
510
00:44:57,971 --> 00:44:59,972
But you don't think that...
511
00:45:00,723 --> 00:45:01,974
Great.
512
00:45:08,356 --> 00:45:10,774
- Peltzer...!
- I need to speak with you.
513
00:45:10,984 --> 00:45:14,069
You got arrested but you've come back.
Miss us?
514
00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:17,030
- You gotta evacuate the building.
- Why?
515
00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:21,576
There are creatures in it.
They start out small and furry.
516
00:45:21,786 --> 00:45:25,289
If they eat after midnight,
they form cocoons...
517
00:45:25,456 --> 00:45:29,376
- You're having a psychotic episode.
- You gotta listen.
518
00:45:29,585 --> 00:45:33,088
This is good.
They're furry, then they have cocoons.
519
00:45:33,298 --> 00:45:34,965
They eat, then cocoon.
520
00:45:35,174 --> 00:45:38,969
Sure. You're going into a cocoon,
you wanna eat first.
521
00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:43,932
Now we're in the nerve center
of Clamp Cable Network.
522
00:45:45,101 --> 00:45:49,771
- Mr. Katsuji, please get back in line.
- Please.
523
00:45:52,650 --> 00:45:56,945
If we're very quiet, we can watch
a program being videotaped.
524
00:45:57,155 --> 00:45:58,947
Right this way.
525
00:46:05,580 --> 00:46:09,791
This week we have our special
Salute to Luncheon Meats.
526
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:15,630
Many of you have written, asking
how to zing up party appetizers.
527
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:21,178
I'm very excited about this recipe.
It's so piquant with sherry.
528
00:46:21,387 --> 00:46:24,473
Some people use a dash.
529
00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:28,518
I use a lot.
530
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:33,273
So let's just plunge into our
hors d'oeuvres, shall we?
531
00:46:33,483 --> 00:46:37,652
You know, these bologna
and bean dip roll-ups...
532
00:46:37,862 --> 00:46:42,991
...are so easy
when friends drop over.
533
00:46:43,201 --> 00:46:47,913
Okay, wait. What if one of them eats
something at 11:00...
534
00:46:48,122 --> 00:46:52,834
...but something sticks in his teeth?
- A caraway or a sesame seed.
535
00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:57,130
And after 12, it comes out.
He didn't eat it after midnight.
536
00:46:57,340 --> 00:46:59,925
- I didn't make the rules.
- Rules?
537
00:47:00,093 --> 00:47:04,012
What if they're in an airplane
and they cross a time zone?
538
00:47:04,180 --> 00:47:05,680
It's always midnight somewhere.
539
00:47:32,333 --> 00:47:35,961
- Peltzer, is this?
- Yes, sir.
540
00:47:48,558 --> 00:47:52,060
- Take this, in case it comes back.
- Right.
541
00:47:57,024 --> 00:48:00,777
Before microwaves,
this used to take forever.
542
00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:04,656
But now, we can make the same...
543
00:48:04,866 --> 00:48:09,119
...tuna-noodle-cheese-product
chowder surprise...
544
00:48:09,412 --> 00:48:11,788
...in just a few minutes.
545
00:48:11,956 --> 00:48:15,083
Now, let's just move down...
546
00:48:16,043 --> 00:48:17,377
What's that?
547
00:48:18,004 --> 00:48:19,337
What is that?
548
00:48:19,505 --> 00:48:22,340
Huh? Must be a brownout.
549
00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:24,843
We'll do an edit. Pick it up there.
550
00:48:25,052 --> 00:48:28,096
Oh, well. The show must go on.
551
00:48:28,306 --> 00:48:32,434
So let's ladle up
some of our chowder-noodle...
552
00:49:01,005 --> 00:49:04,758
Run for your lives! Monster!
553
00:49:12,475 --> 00:49:15,310
Microwave!
554
00:49:20,525 --> 00:49:23,276
You see what these monsters are doing?
555
00:49:23,611 --> 00:49:27,489
They're throwing metal utensils into
the microwave! You can't do that!
556
00:49:42,630 --> 00:49:44,172
Uh-oh.
557
00:49:47,426 --> 00:49:49,052
Stay here and die!
558
00:50:25,006 --> 00:50:28,925
Wait. Wait! What is it? Wait!
559
00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:32,512
- Mr. Katsuji!
- I need a Polaroid.
560
00:50:32,722 --> 00:50:34,764
It's not part of the program!
561
00:50:42,398 --> 00:50:45,233
Something weird
is going on in Studio D.
562
00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:47,402
Punch it up on the stack.
563
00:51:05,463 --> 00:51:08,256
I show brownouts
in five more locations.
564
00:51:08,466 --> 00:51:11,968
Climate control malfunction,
floors 15 and 16.
565
00:51:12,136 --> 00:51:13,470
What's going on?
566
00:51:13,638 --> 00:51:17,557
The pest infestation monitor
is reading critical.
567
00:51:22,146 --> 00:51:24,939
What is that?
That could be rats, right?
568
00:51:25,149 --> 00:51:27,317
No, sir. I'm afraid it's not.
569
00:51:27,526 --> 00:51:31,988
Whatever they are, they've gotta
respect the chain of command.
570
00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:45,001
Gizmo, Gizmo, Gizmo, Gizmo!
571
00:51:45,586 --> 00:51:48,630
Light bright! Light bright!
572
00:52:00,434 --> 00:52:02,352
Please state your desired floor.
573
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:03,853
Thirty-eight.
574
00:52:04,021 --> 00:52:06,147
Thirty-eight.
575
00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:09,109
Thirty-eight! Thirty-eight...
576
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,861
Going up!
577
00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:21,913
Elevator, stop.
578
00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:26,584
Sound alarm.
579
00:52:56,532 --> 00:52:59,617
Betty, did you finish
shredding my mail?
580
00:52:59,827 --> 00:53:02,704
- I'm just finishing, Mr. Clamp.
- Good.
581
00:53:02,872 --> 00:53:04,873
Um...
582
00:53:05,583 --> 00:53:06,916
Let's...
583
00:53:07,752 --> 00:53:09,419
Let's do some memos.
584
00:53:12,757 --> 00:53:17,886
First, one to Frager,
in public relations.
585
00:53:18,095 --> 00:53:21,723
Let's have the people in Chinatown
give a street festival.
586
00:53:21,932 --> 00:53:27,771
A spontaneous flood of appreciation
for all I've done for the community.
587
00:53:28,105 --> 00:53:33,401
We could have those dragons.
Those big dragons with the guys inside.
588
00:53:33,611 --> 00:53:37,572
- And maybe we could have a parade.
- Yum-yum!
589
00:53:37,782 --> 00:53:41,701
Call that big department store.
They got lots of those.
590
00:53:41,911 --> 00:53:44,788
They keep them in a warehouse
in New Jersey.
591
00:53:45,748 --> 00:53:47,081
I think I own that.
592
00:53:54,632 --> 00:53:59,511
A, B, C, D, J, K...
593
00:54:05,017 --> 00:54:06,810
Coffee?
594
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,828
Let go of my tie!
595
00:55:15,629 --> 00:55:18,548
- Bill!
- Mr. Clamp, sir, are you okay?
596
00:55:18,757 --> 00:55:22,635
Yeah, I think so. I hate
using these machines myself.
597
00:55:22,845 --> 00:55:26,973
- Sir, we have a problem...
- We have a situation... Oh, my God.
598
00:55:27,182 --> 00:55:30,602
We have to evacuate the building
and close it down.
599
00:55:30,811 --> 00:55:33,479
- That's ridiculous.
- Before sundown.
600
00:55:33,689 --> 00:55:37,984
- What happens at sundown?
- They hate sunlight. It kills them.
601
00:55:38,193 --> 00:55:41,905
When it gets dark,
they'll try to leave the building...
602
00:55:42,114 --> 00:55:45,450
Calm down. He should be in custody.
He's dangerous.
603
00:55:45,659 --> 00:55:50,663
This thing, that's dangerous.
This guy's from the art department.
604
00:55:50,873 --> 00:55:53,750
Ask him how he knows
about these things.
605
00:55:53,959 --> 00:55:56,085
How do you know about them?
606
00:55:56,295 --> 00:56:01,591
- This animal was in the genetics lab...
- I said it could be a problem tenant.
607
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:06,095
We could have had three shrinks
and a plastic surgeon. Here.
608
00:56:21,779 --> 00:56:23,780
Make a wish!
609
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:33,206
Hair!
610
00:56:45,135 --> 00:56:46,678
Going down!
611
00:56:57,314 --> 00:56:59,774
Second floor, lingerie.
612
00:57:07,992 --> 00:57:14,163
The elevator doors
have opened. Watch your step.
613
00:57:14,832 --> 00:57:18,209
We'll...
We'll get the next one.
614
00:57:18,752 --> 00:57:21,170
- You don't think it had rabies?
- No.
615
00:57:21,338 --> 00:57:26,134
- We must stop them from getting wet.
- No, we have to put a lid on it.
616
00:57:26,343 --> 00:57:29,762
No cops, no media.
We'll handle this ourselves.
617
00:57:29,972 --> 00:57:35,143
- You go down to systems control.
- But there might be physical danger.
618
00:57:35,352 --> 00:57:37,687
You're supposed to handle bugs.
619
00:57:37,855 --> 00:57:42,442
Well, I'd call these some goddamn
major bugs, wouldn't you? Huh?
620
00:57:42,651 --> 00:57:47,071
Right. Okay. But I don't think
I should try it without an expert.
621
00:57:47,281 --> 00:57:49,157
Let's go, Peltzer.
622
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,413
Three, two, one. Cue Leonard.
623
00:57:55,622 --> 00:57:58,458
Hi. I'm Leonard Maltin,
and this is The Movie Police.
624
00:58:00,169 --> 00:58:01,878
First, our video watch.
625
00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:06,674
Just rereleased on video is Gremlins,
though I can't imagine why.
626
00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:12,138
I know some people found it fun, but
I'd rather have root canal work done.
627
00:58:12,347 --> 00:58:17,060
What's fun about a movie full of ugly,
mean-spirited monsters...
628
00:58:17,227 --> 00:58:19,854
...who attack innocent people?
629
00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:24,317
Are we so desperate for entertainment
that this trash passes for fun?
630
00:58:24,485 --> 00:58:28,362
Whoa! Wait a minute!
I was just kidding! Ow! A 10, it's a 10!
631
00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:45,922
Look at this. I've been working on
making tomatoes tougher for shipping.
632
00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:49,675
- That's terrific!
- Topnotch! How do they taste?
633
00:58:49,885 --> 00:58:55,306
That's the best part. We've already
had calls from two airline chefs.
634
00:58:59,603 --> 00:59:02,897
Oh, my gosh!
635
00:59:03,065 --> 00:59:06,776
- Did somebody leave something out?
- Not I.
636
00:59:06,985 --> 00:59:09,946
It's eating my vegetable medley.
637
00:59:16,286 --> 00:59:19,288
- What's that noise?
- I think they're laughing.
638
00:59:19,623 --> 00:59:22,291
- Reptiles don't laugh!
- They're not reptiles.
639
00:59:22,459 --> 00:59:24,961
- Then what are they?
- A virus?
640
00:59:30,634 --> 00:59:33,177
What on earth is going on?
641
00:59:35,097 --> 00:59:38,599
I leave you alone for five minutes,
and what do I find when I get back?
642
00:59:38,767 --> 00:59:39,809
Utter chaos.
643
00:59:42,146 --> 00:59:45,857
Is that the brain hormone
that creature's drinking?
644
00:59:46,066 --> 00:59:49,443
Good boy. Nice boy.
645
00:59:49,653 --> 00:59:54,490
There's a good creature.
Now, let's talk this over.
646
00:59:54,908 --> 01:00:00,037
I can get you diseases.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
647
01:00:07,171 --> 01:00:09,297
Perhaps not.
648
01:00:34,948 --> 01:00:38,784
I wanna talk...
649
01:00:38,994 --> 01:00:41,495
...about what's going on in here.
650
01:00:41,705 --> 01:00:46,000
There are some fascinating
ramifications for the future.
651
01:00:46,210 --> 01:00:50,546
When you introduce genetic
material to our life form...
652
01:00:50,756 --> 01:00:53,549
...which is possessed of a sort of...
653
01:00:53,759 --> 01:00:56,135
...I hesitate to say "atavism"...
654
01:00:56,345 --> 01:00:59,222
...but let us say
an aggressive nature.
655
01:00:59,389 --> 01:01:04,727
That fellow over there is a common bat
of the order of Chiroptera.
656
01:01:04,937 --> 01:01:08,981
The only mammals, I might add,
capable of true flight.
657
01:01:28,043 --> 01:01:30,419
Genetic sun block.
658
01:01:31,546 --> 01:01:32,880
Yes.
659
01:01:37,344 --> 01:01:42,223
Might I have a word with you?
My friend, you have potential.
660
01:01:42,432 --> 01:01:45,851
I wanna help you be all
that you can be. May I?
661
01:01:46,186 --> 01:01:51,440
As you're aware, sunlight poses
a problem for our ethnic group.
662
01:01:51,650 --> 01:01:53,651
We don't tan or burn.
663
01:01:53,860 --> 01:01:58,281
We become a rather unappetizing
photochemical leftover.
664
01:01:58,490 --> 01:02:03,786
Thus this formula, designed for those
of the nocturnal persuasion...
665
01:02:03,996 --> 01:02:06,539
...to make bright light no problem
whatever.
666
01:02:06,748 --> 01:02:10,293
That'll be useful
where you'll be going.
667
01:02:12,629 --> 01:02:14,297
Where he'll be going?
668
01:02:14,506 --> 01:02:19,135
All they have to do is eat children,
there'd be appalling publicity.
669
01:02:20,387 --> 01:02:25,349
There it is. The Apple.
The city so nice they named it twice.
670
01:02:25,559 --> 01:02:28,853
Check it out one time, won't you?
671
01:02:37,988 --> 01:02:39,780
Catch it! Don't let it go!
672
01:02:39,990 --> 01:02:41,824
- Down!
- Down!
673
01:03:01,803 --> 01:03:03,679
Here in Manhattan...
674
01:03:03,847 --> 01:03:08,517
...there's been a steady stream
of mechanical problems...
675
01:03:08,685 --> 01:03:12,938
...at the Clamp Centre
office building in midtown...
676
01:03:21,948 --> 01:03:24,950
- Buy! Buy! Buy!
- Sell! Sell! Sell!
677
01:03:28,914 --> 01:03:31,123
I'd say it's a full-scale panic.
678
01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:35,795
Are you having a run on the banks yet?
It's brutal here.
679
01:03:36,004 --> 01:03:40,383
We're telling clients to invest
in canned food and shotguns.
680
01:03:41,134 --> 01:03:44,887
Please take a
moment to locate the nearest exit.
681
01:03:45,097 --> 01:03:49,725
Go through it quickly because
of the danger in the building.
682
01:03:49,935 --> 01:03:52,728
Please take personal belongings
with you.
683
01:03:52,938 --> 01:03:56,357
Take care not to step on
any of the people...
684
01:03:56,566 --> 01:03:59,360
...attempting to leave the building.
685
01:04:09,996 --> 01:04:13,040
Food fight! Food fight! Food fight!
686
01:04:27,055 --> 01:04:32,601
Untamed element,
giver of warmth, destroyer of forests.
687
01:04:32,769 --> 01:04:35,771
- This building is on fire.
- What?
688
01:04:35,939 --> 01:04:38,941
The building is on fire.
Leave the building.
689
01:04:39,151 --> 01:04:41,235
Enact the age-old drama
of self-preservation.
690
01:04:41,403 --> 01:04:43,529
Fire! Fire!
691
01:04:44,906 --> 01:04:48,993
Oh, Murray,
the cathedral of Saint Eva Marie.
692
01:04:49,202 --> 01:04:53,622
- What a beautiful building!
- Beautiful?
693
01:04:53,832 --> 01:04:56,542
It's like something
out of the Dark Ages.
694
01:04:56,751 --> 01:04:59,295
Hey, Quasimodo, you home?
695
01:05:02,966 --> 01:05:04,300
Hey...
696
01:05:10,432 --> 01:05:13,267
- It's one of them!
- Who?
697
01:05:15,020 --> 01:05:16,604
Get off!
698
01:05:39,002 --> 01:05:42,963
It's just a flesh wound, Murray!
699
01:06:49,406 --> 01:06:53,909
- Hurry up, Lewis!
- I'm coming, Martin!
700
01:06:55,078 --> 01:06:57,913
The horror. The horror. The breakage!
701
01:06:58,081 --> 01:06:59,915
Sir, what happened?
702
01:07:00,125 --> 01:07:03,419
They fought back,
that's what happened.
703
01:07:03,587 --> 01:07:05,379
Things.
704
01:07:05,589 --> 01:07:07,423
Stuff.
705
01:07:07,591 --> 01:07:10,759
I swear, I'll never hurt
anything again.
706
01:07:11,094 --> 01:07:13,596
Some things man isn't meant to splice.
707
01:07:13,805 --> 01:07:16,056
- A problem tenant.
- Calm down.
708
01:07:16,266 --> 01:07:19,226
- We won't renew your lease.
- Where are they?
709
01:07:19,436 --> 01:07:22,313
Don't patronize me! I saw them.
710
01:07:22,522 --> 01:07:26,567
- But where?
- In my laboratory, the Splice of Life.
711
01:07:26,776 --> 01:07:30,070
Stupid name. But it wasn't my idea.
712
01:07:41,374 --> 01:07:43,375
Tweet, tweet.
713
01:07:45,587 --> 01:07:48,130
Bunny rabbit.
714
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:49,965
Watch this, watch this:
715
01:07:50,133 --> 01:07:52,926
"Fourscore and seven years ago..."
716
01:07:58,975 --> 01:08:01,185
Nudie, nudie, nudie!
717
01:08:11,571 --> 01:08:14,156
Mom, I wanna see the Gremlins!
718
01:08:14,366 --> 01:08:19,453
Sir, I can't believe this.
This is worse than the first one.
719
01:08:19,663 --> 01:08:22,998
We just show these movies,
we don't make them.
720
01:08:23,166 --> 01:08:24,500
But...
721
01:08:24,709 --> 01:08:28,003
I quit. Call the union,
the National Guard.
722
01:08:28,171 --> 01:08:31,048
Those things took over the projector.
723
01:08:31,257 --> 01:08:35,219
All they wanna see
is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
724
01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:37,262
Enough!
725
01:08:37,472 --> 01:08:40,099
I'll take care of this.
726
01:08:47,023 --> 01:08:50,818
Mr. Hulk, we have Gremlins
in the projection booth.
727
01:08:51,027 --> 01:08:55,406
- Could you help us?
- Gremlins? In this theater? Now?
728
01:08:56,533 --> 01:09:00,994
Okay, you guys, listen up. People
paid good money to see this movie.
729
01:09:01,204 --> 01:09:05,040
When they go out to a theater,
they want cold sodas, hot popcorn...
730
01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:07,918
...and no monsters
in the projection booth.
731
01:09:08,128 --> 01:09:10,087
Do I have to come up there?
732
01:09:10,296 --> 01:09:13,716
Can the Gremsters stand up
to the Hulkster?
733
01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:18,804
If I were you, I'd run the rest
of Gremlins 2 right now!
734
01:09:19,013 --> 01:09:21,974
Sorry, folks. It won't happen again.
735
01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:46,540
- I'm outside the Clamp Centre
office building...
736
01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:51,670
...where something strange
is taking place inside, though...
737
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,923
- been a day Mr. Clamp
would like to forget.
738
01:09:55,091 --> 01:09:57,342
- Talking about green creatures.
739
01:09:57,552 --> 01:10:01,346
Police are not permitting
any news media inside.
740
01:10:01,556 --> 01:10:03,390
Once we are allowed in...
741
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,935
...we'll broadcast live
from inside the building.
742
01:10:07,145 --> 01:10:08,520
Live...
743
01:10:09,147 --> 01:10:11,440
...from inside.
744
01:10:21,701 --> 01:10:23,911
Hey, you! Come here.
745
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:27,289
No! Can you work a TV camera?
746
01:10:27,624 --> 01:10:30,459
Work a camera? I am a camera!
747
01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:32,711
Oh, good! Come with me.
748
01:10:32,962 --> 01:10:35,255
No, this way. This way.
749
01:11:23,513 --> 01:11:25,597
I know, you think I'm insane.
750
01:11:25,807 --> 01:11:28,725
No, if you were, we couldn't sue you.
751
01:11:30,311 --> 01:11:32,896
- Oh, my God.
- You see?
752
01:11:33,273 --> 01:11:36,358
This is a complete failure...
753
01:11:36,693 --> 01:11:38,151
...of management.
754
01:11:38,319 --> 01:11:40,070
They're eating the genetic stuff.
755
01:11:40,238 --> 01:11:43,365
Years of research,
patents, experiments!
756
01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:45,951
Are there any bright lights here?
757
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:51,456
They've broken them all. But I do
have some small assault weapons.
758
01:11:59,841 --> 01:12:03,552
What a hunk!
759
01:12:16,566 --> 01:12:20,068
- Don't be afraid of your feelings!
- Help!
760
01:12:20,862 --> 01:12:23,488
It's a hobby I knew
would come in handy.
761
01:12:23,698 --> 01:12:28,410
I got ordnance here that can
drop a charging puma at 50 feet.
762
01:12:37,211 --> 01:12:39,588
Oh, why can't you commit?
763
01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:43,759
That's what these things need,
a taste of...
764
01:12:46,054 --> 01:12:48,889
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
765
01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:48,073
To survive a war,
you gotta become war.
766
01:13:49,659 --> 01:13:50,993
Jimmy, come back here, Jimmy.
767
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:53,996
Let us in there.
We'll take responsibility.
768
01:13:54,163 --> 01:13:56,415
Most people are out anyway.
769
01:13:56,624 --> 01:14:01,211
- What's in there? I've been to Beirut.
- I bet they miss you there.
770
01:14:01,546 --> 01:14:05,007
The important thing is
to keep this out of the media.
771
01:14:05,174 --> 01:14:07,509
They get you to say something...
772
01:14:07,677 --> 01:14:13,348
...then they twist and embellish it,
and before you know it...
773
01:14:13,516 --> 01:14:16,935
- live, exclusively
over the Clamp News Channel...
774
01:14:17,270 --> 01:14:20,439
...from the lobby,
where this invasion...
775
01:14:20,773 --> 01:14:25,444
...by strange creatures,
perhaps from another galaxy...
776
01:14:25,653 --> 01:14:29,698
...or from a dimensional warp...
777
01:14:30,033 --> 01:14:34,119
...has run riot through this building,
sending people...
778
01:14:34,287 --> 01:14:35,620
Dracula?
779
01:14:50,970 --> 01:14:56,141
- These horrible little green
monsters in that building there!
780
01:14:56,350 --> 01:14:58,894
You can't do that...
781
01:14:59,062 --> 01:15:02,898
- Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold it! No water.
- What?
782
01:15:03,066 --> 01:15:06,568
That's not a fire in there.
They're Gremlins.
783
01:15:06,736 --> 01:15:10,906
You get them wet, they'll multiply.
I know how to deal with them.
784
01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:16,578
Sure, pal. Why don't you calm down?
Just take it easy.
785
01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:20,457
Don't talk to me like I'm crazy.
I'm not crazy!
786
01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:25,087
I was never crazy. I'm fine.
787
01:15:25,838 --> 01:15:27,172
Let me in there!
788
01:15:54,617 --> 01:15:58,453
Bill, any progress?
Just tell me there's progress.
789
01:15:58,621 --> 01:16:01,414
Things are really bad out there.
790
01:16:01,749 --> 01:16:05,460
Bad?! Only one of my channels
is still on the air.
791
01:16:05,628 --> 01:16:08,630
There are human beings
in the building.
792
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:12,467
Do you know what kind of lawsuits
we're looking at?
793
01:16:12,677 --> 01:16:14,302
Yes, I know, but...
794
01:16:23,187 --> 01:16:25,355
All of our operators are busy.
795
01:16:25,565 --> 01:16:29,442
Your call will be handled
in the order received.
796
01:16:29,652 --> 01:16:31,987
- What is that?
- One of those things.
797
01:16:32,196 --> 01:16:35,824
- They come in electric too?
- They do now.
798
01:16:36,033 --> 01:16:38,743
He's in the phone system on hold.
799
01:16:46,878 --> 01:16:52,465
I thought this would
never run. Maybe it will, now.
800
01:16:57,680 --> 01:17:03,143
Because of the end of
civilization, CCN now leaves the air.
801
01:17:03,352 --> 01:17:07,022
We hope you have enjoyed
our programming.
802
01:17:07,231 --> 01:17:12,194
But more importantly,
we hope you have enjoyed life.
803
01:17:12,361 --> 01:17:17,199
- It's beautiful, isn't it?
- Yes, sir. It's very uplifting.
804
01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:23,205
Is there any way to turn the clocks
ahead in the building three hours?
805
01:17:23,372 --> 01:17:26,291
There's nothing we can't do. Why?
806
01:17:26,626 --> 01:17:28,627
Sunlight kills them.
807
01:17:28,836 --> 01:17:33,465
If we can fool them into thinking
the sun has gone down...
808
01:17:33,799 --> 01:17:35,717
...they may go to the lobby.
809
01:17:35,885 --> 01:17:40,388
Right! The front doors are the only
way out of the building.
810
01:17:40,598 --> 01:17:44,893
- The sun sets at 7:32.
- Then we should move at 4:20.
811
01:17:45,061 --> 01:17:48,605
I like that!
We have information they don't have.
812
01:17:48,814 --> 01:17:52,234
That's how you take somebody out.
Wait a minute.
813
01:17:52,401 --> 01:17:55,237
Won't they see the sun's still out?
814
01:17:55,446 --> 01:17:58,114
- You'll have to take care of that.
- Me?
815
01:17:58,324 --> 01:18:01,326
- Set it up from the outside.
- Good!
816
01:18:01,661 --> 01:18:04,287
I finally get to use my secret exit.
817
01:18:04,497 --> 01:18:06,414
- You know, sir?
- Yes?
818
01:18:06,582 --> 01:18:09,751
If you pull this off,
you could save the city.
819
01:18:09,961 --> 01:18:14,256
Save the city? "Developer Saves City."
I like that!
820
01:18:29,563 --> 01:18:33,483
Is anyone still employed
in this charming facility?
821
01:18:33,693 --> 01:18:36,111
I need light in my office. Now!
822
01:18:36,279 --> 01:18:41,616
At Clamp Enterprises
we want you to achieve all you can.
823
01:18:41,826 --> 01:18:44,828
Turn on the lights in my office.
824
01:18:45,037 --> 01:18:48,456
You want me to work in the dark?
825
01:18:50,126 --> 01:18:52,002
This is new.
826
01:19:04,557 --> 01:19:06,975
Phoebe, come on, hurry!
827
01:19:18,612 --> 01:19:21,156
Hey, that's Clamp! Let's go!
828
01:19:25,786 --> 01:19:29,205
- Has the building been evacuated?
- Is it on fire?
829
01:19:29,415 --> 01:19:32,500
That's a false alarm.
We've just got some problems.
830
01:19:32,668 --> 01:19:36,546
You got a guy in there in a Dracula suit,
broadcasting stuff with green monsters.
831
01:19:36,714 --> 01:19:39,215
- Are you trying to panic the city?
- Absolutely not.
832
01:19:39,383 --> 01:19:41,760
- So they are real?
- I didn't say that.
833
01:19:41,969 --> 01:19:45,055
- What are you saying?
- What I always say.
834
01:19:59,653 --> 01:20:00,987
Murray?
835
01:20:30,559 --> 01:20:34,270
Gizmo? Gizmo...
836
01:21:27,408 --> 01:21:29,701
As you probably know...
837
01:21:31,036 --> 01:21:35,206
As you probably know,
an entire race of strange beings...
838
01:21:35,416 --> 01:21:37,625
...has invaded the building.
839
01:21:37,835 --> 01:21:43,173
And in an even more bizarre twist,
one of the creatures...
840
01:21:44,091 --> 01:21:47,177
"Creatures." Is that accurate?
841
01:21:50,347 --> 01:21:54,184
- That one of these creatures
is able to talk...
842
01:21:54,393 --> 01:21:57,729
...and he's going to talk
with us right now.
843
01:21:57,938 --> 01:22:00,398
The main question people have is:
844
01:22:00,733 --> 01:22:03,359
Creature, what is it that you want?
845
01:22:03,569 --> 01:22:05,778
Fred, what we want...
846
01:22:05,988 --> 01:22:10,325
...is what you and your viewers have,
civilization.
847
01:22:10,659 --> 01:22:14,913
Yes, but what sort of civilization
are you speaking of?
848
01:22:15,122 --> 01:22:17,373
The niceties. The fine points.
849
01:22:17,583 --> 01:22:21,336
Diplomacy, compassion, standards,
manners, tradition.
850
01:22:21,504 --> 01:22:23,505
That's what we reach toward.
851
01:22:23,839 --> 01:22:27,133
We may stumble on the way,
but civilization, yes.
852
01:22:27,343 --> 01:22:30,094
The Geneva Convention, Susan Sontag.
853
01:22:30,304 --> 01:22:34,599
Everything you've worked hard
to accomplish, we aspire to.
854
01:22:34,808 --> 01:22:39,562
We wanna be civilized.
Take a look at this fellow here.
855
01:22:42,858 --> 01:22:45,735
Now, was that civilized? Clearly not.
856
01:22:45,945 --> 01:22:48,655
Fun, but in no sense civilized.
857
01:22:48,864 --> 01:22:51,741
None of us has been
in New York before.
858
01:22:51,951 --> 01:22:55,370
We have to learn how to get
tickets for shows.
859
01:22:55,579 --> 01:22:59,624
There's street crime,
but we can watch that for free.
860
01:22:59,833 --> 01:23:03,795
We want the essentials.
Dinettes, bedroom groups...
861
01:23:04,004 --> 01:23:07,131
...credit even if we've
been turned down before.
862
01:23:07,716 --> 01:23:11,553
Take it easy with that thing.
Be careful up there!
863
01:23:11,887 --> 01:23:13,846
What's that thing for?
864
01:23:14,056 --> 01:23:17,392
These things can only come out
when it's dark.
865
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:21,563
We set the clocks ahead.
When they think it's sunset...
866
01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:26,609
...and see what a nice night it is,
they'll muster in the lobby.
867
01:23:26,819 --> 01:23:30,572
We drop this thing, the sunlight'll
pour through here and fry them!
868
01:23:30,739 --> 01:23:31,990
Sure.
869
01:24:07,276 --> 01:24:10,278
- Is it safe?
- Help!
870
01:24:11,113 --> 01:24:12,947
- Billy!
- Huh?
871
01:24:17,328 --> 01:24:19,454
I hate these little things!
872
01:24:26,045 --> 01:24:28,880
- You okay, Billy?
- Yeah. Get me out of here.
873
01:24:32,593 --> 01:24:36,471
- Billy?
- Could I get some help here?
874
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:39,641
I'm trapped in adhesive
polymer material...
875
01:24:39,808 --> 01:24:42,060
...and I'm on deadline!
876
01:24:42,269 --> 01:24:45,313
Darling, it's you!
Thank God you're here.
877
01:24:45,481 --> 01:24:49,817
Well, I could help you,
or I could just leave you here.
878
01:24:49,985 --> 01:24:54,238
Listen, about Billy. Nothing happened.
879
01:24:54,448 --> 01:24:58,660
I asked him out to dinner.
It was strictly business.
880
01:24:58,827 --> 01:25:02,914
Okay, it wasn't completely business,
I'll be honest.
881
01:25:03,123 --> 01:25:05,166
It'll be an openness thing.
882
01:25:05,334 --> 01:25:09,587
I had designs on him.
I didn't get to first base. Okay?
883
01:25:09,797 --> 01:25:16,010
- It'll do.
- What a wonderfully prepared woman.
884
01:26:29,710 --> 01:26:32,462
Gizmo.
885
01:26:57,863 --> 01:26:59,822
What happened to him?
886
01:27:01,450 --> 01:27:04,619
I don't know.
I guess they pushed him too far.
887
01:27:11,502 --> 01:27:14,420
- If they get out...
- We'll stop them, Billy.
888
01:27:14,588 --> 01:27:15,963
Don't give up now.
889
01:27:16,131 --> 01:27:18,049
Washington didn't.
Lincoln...
890
01:27:18,217 --> 01:27:19,592
- Please!
- What?
891
01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:21,302
Don't mention Lincoln.
892
01:27:21,470 --> 01:27:26,265
A terrible thing happened
to me once on Lincoln's birthday.
893
01:27:26,433 --> 01:27:29,018
I was 6 or 7.
894
01:27:29,228 --> 01:27:32,980
I had the day off from school.
Mama let me go to the park.
895
01:27:33,148 --> 01:27:39,153
She made me a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich. That's all I ever ate.
896
01:27:39,321 --> 01:27:42,406
A man with a beard and hat...
Looked just like Abe Lincoln.
897
01:27:42,574 --> 01:27:45,827
Honey, we don't have
time for this now.
898
01:27:45,994 --> 01:27:49,539
I remember... Oh, God.
He said, "Hello, little girl."
899
01:27:59,466 --> 01:28:01,008
Is everybody here?
900
01:28:01,510 --> 01:28:02,969
All right, then!
901
01:28:09,059 --> 01:28:12,436
Start spreadin' the news
902
01:28:12,604 --> 01:28:15,398
I'm leavin' today
903
01:28:16,066 --> 01:28:19,527
I wanna be a part of it
904
01:28:19,695 --> 01:28:22,989
New York, New York, yes, sir
905
01:28:23,156 --> 01:28:26,617
These vagabond shoes
906
01:28:26,994 --> 01:28:30,162
Are longing to stray
907
01:28:30,330 --> 01:28:33,708
And step around the heart of it
908
01:28:33,876 --> 01:28:36,127
New York, New York
909
01:28:36,378 --> 01:28:38,588
These guys aren't bad.
910
01:28:38,922 --> 01:28:41,841
Incredible as it seems,
ladies and gentlemen...
911
01:28:42,009 --> 01:28:47,138
...after their bizarre, bloodcurdling
rampage of destruction...
912
01:28:47,306 --> 01:28:52,768
...these strange creatures now appear
to be mounting what seems to be...
913
01:28:52,936 --> 01:28:55,146
...a musical number.
914
01:29:45,864 --> 01:29:47,657
They're near the doors.
915
01:29:47,824 --> 01:29:51,327
Don't worry. Soon Mr. Clamp
will drop the cloth...
916
01:29:51,495 --> 01:29:53,162
...and let in the sun.
917
01:29:53,705 --> 01:29:57,124
Okay, are we ready to drop this thing?
918
01:30:07,135 --> 01:30:09,053
Sunlight?
919
01:30:41,169 --> 01:30:43,713
Say cheese!
920
01:31:13,910 --> 01:31:19,623
They get in the rain, the city
will go under. Armageddon! WWIII!
921
01:31:19,791 --> 01:31:23,127
- Billy, we've gotta do something.
- I know.
922
01:31:25,088 --> 01:31:29,050
There's a fire hose.
Aim it into the lobby.
923
01:31:29,217 --> 01:31:30,551
Are you crazy?
924
01:31:30,719 --> 01:31:32,386
Just do it, and do it fast!
925
01:31:32,554 --> 01:31:35,234
Put Gizmo in a box
so he doesn't get wet.
926
01:31:35,307 --> 01:31:37,224
- Okay.
- Marla...
927
01:31:37,392 --> 01:31:39,226
- Smoke.
- Thanks.
928
01:31:53,283 --> 01:31:54,617
Loogie!
929
01:32:00,916 --> 01:32:02,458
Lobby!
930
01:32:03,460 --> 01:32:05,419
Don't mess with Futterman!
931
01:32:10,842 --> 01:32:15,638
There's a call on hold in Mr. Clamp's
office. Can you transfer it here?
932
01:32:15,806 --> 01:32:17,348
Yeah, I think so.
933
01:32:20,060 --> 01:32:22,895
- Ready!
- Turn it on!
934
01:32:50,632 --> 01:32:53,968
Billy, I hope you know
what the hell you're doing.
935
01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:56,762
I'm singing in the bathtub!
936
01:32:57,639 --> 01:33:00,808
Bypass the file server.
937
01:33:01,434 --> 01:33:03,185
Okay.
938
01:33:04,813 --> 01:33:07,064
- That's it!
- My God!
939
01:33:07,858 --> 01:33:09,567
Turn off the hose!
940
01:33:13,155 --> 01:33:14,488
Hit it!
941
01:34:02,787 --> 01:34:07,791
I'm melting! Melting! I'm melting!
942
01:34:07,959 --> 01:34:08,959
I'm melting!
943
01:34:09,127 --> 01:34:12,338
Oh, what a world, what a world!
944
01:34:17,552 --> 01:34:23,682
The creatures seem to be melting
into horrible little green and brown...
945
01:34:24,267 --> 01:34:27,019
...puddles. It's... It's like...
946
01:34:27,187 --> 01:34:32,483
Well, I can't say what it looks like,
on television, but it looks terrible.
947
01:34:54,214 --> 01:34:56,590
Let's go! Come on!
948
01:34:58,718 --> 01:35:04,974
It's stuck. Come on. Back up here.
Down there. Come on! Let's go!
949
01:35:05,267 --> 01:35:08,060
We'll take them by this door.
Come on!
950
01:35:08,228 --> 01:35:10,396
Charge!
951
01:35:23,326 --> 01:35:27,538
I didn't hurt myself. Maybe we can
use this stuff for landfill.
952
01:35:27,706 --> 01:35:32,209
- We're here with Daniel R. Clamp.
- Hey! Hey! Wait a minute, pal!
953
01:35:32,377 --> 01:35:35,212
Who told you to go on my network?
954
01:35:35,380 --> 01:35:39,717
Nobody, sir.
It just seemed like news, so...
955
01:35:39,884 --> 01:35:46,307
Right, right. I'm making you
an anchor. Six o'clock, weeknights.
956
01:35:46,474 --> 01:35:50,769
Go to Barneys and get new clothes.
Give this man a credit card.
957
01:35:50,937 --> 01:35:54,398
This is Old World.
Think sweaters. Think avuncular.
958
01:35:54,566 --> 01:35:56,400
Right. Avuncular!
959
01:35:56,568 --> 01:35:59,653
- And my cameraman?
- Off caffeine, he's okay.
960
01:35:59,821 --> 01:36:02,364
- I'm a hit!
- We're a hit.
961
01:36:02,532 --> 01:36:07,494
What does a menswear makeover cost
today? Join us as we investigate...
962
01:36:07,662 --> 01:36:09,788
And get some sun this weekend!
963
01:36:09,956 --> 01:36:12,458
Hey, Bill! Oh, boy!
964
01:36:14,961 --> 01:36:18,047
- What's happening?
- It moved, sir.
965
01:36:18,214 --> 01:36:23,302
All right. Carry on.
Careful, that stuff's slippery.
966
01:36:23,470 --> 01:36:24,887
So you bailed us out.
967
01:36:25,055 --> 01:36:29,350
It wasn't just me. We all chipped in.
Mr. Futterman and Marla.
968
01:36:29,517 --> 01:36:31,310
Marla?
969
01:36:31,770 --> 01:36:35,481
- Yes, sir?
- You work for me, don't you?
970
01:36:38,693 --> 01:36:40,152
Yes, sir.
971
01:36:40,820 --> 01:36:42,488
Very, very hard.
972
01:36:50,205 --> 01:36:51,538
Murray!
973
01:36:51,706 --> 01:36:53,290
What happened?
974
01:36:53,666 --> 01:36:56,210
They tried it again,
but we were ready.
975
01:36:56,378 --> 01:37:00,255
- Let's go. Smells like burnt meatloaf.
- It's Daniel Clamp!
976
01:37:00,423 --> 01:37:04,093
He's here!
Mr. Clamp, can we have a statement?
977
01:37:04,260 --> 01:37:05,594
Please, please!
978
01:37:06,012 --> 01:37:11,308
My new head of public relations here
will handle all questions.
979
01:37:11,476 --> 01:37:13,060
Why, Daniel!
980
01:37:13,228 --> 01:37:17,147
- What happened?
- Where's the camera? It was horrible.
981
01:37:17,315 --> 01:37:20,067
We had to stop work altogether.
982
01:37:20,235 --> 01:37:22,694
- Sorry about the building.
- I'm not.
983
01:37:22,862 --> 01:37:26,073
- You're not?
- No, we're insured for the damages.
984
01:37:26,241 --> 01:37:30,577
Maybe it wasn't a place
for people anyway.
985
01:37:30,745 --> 01:37:36,083
It was a place for things. You make
a place for things. Things come.
986
01:37:36,251 --> 01:37:38,919
Well, sir, you kept the city safe.
987
01:37:39,087 --> 01:37:43,132
That's right. That's a good point.
The sacrifice.
988
01:37:43,299 --> 01:37:46,301
That could be in my next book.
I should be taking notes.
989
01:37:46,469 --> 01:37:50,889
- Who's got a pencil and paper?
- Here you go.
990
01:37:54,352 --> 01:37:56,353
- What's this?
- Kingston Falls.
991
01:37:56,563 --> 01:37:59,148
- I've looked for this!
- To buy?
992
01:37:59,315 --> 01:38:04,153
No, to build for my next project
in Jersey! This is terrific!
993
01:38:04,320 --> 01:38:07,865
People want now,
the traditional community thing.
994
01:38:08,032 --> 01:38:11,076
Quiet little towns, back to the earth.
995
01:38:11,244 --> 01:38:12,828
Is this your concept?
996
01:38:12,996 --> 01:38:18,000
- It's our hometown.
- That's better. I love that! It's...
997
01:38:18,168 --> 01:38:20,919
Wait. It's...
998
01:38:21,087 --> 01:38:26,383
"Clamp Corners. Where life
slows down to a crawl."
999
01:38:26,551 --> 01:38:29,219
- What do you think?
- It's terrific.
1000
01:38:29,596 --> 01:38:33,265
This is what people want,
not talking elevators.
1001
01:38:33,433 --> 01:38:37,102
You sell me this design,
and we'll build the biggest...
1002
01:38:37,270 --> 01:38:40,189
...most sensational
quiet little town ever.
1003
01:38:40,356 --> 01:38:44,651
- But for him to do an entire town...
- We can come to a deal.
1004
01:38:44,819 --> 01:38:50,908
- Are you Mrs. Peltzer?
- Yes! Well, I'm gonna be.
1005
01:38:51,075 --> 01:38:54,328
- What's that?
- This is Gizmo.
1006
01:38:54,621 --> 01:38:56,830
- He's a Mogwai.
- Mogwai.
1007
01:38:56,998 --> 01:39:00,458
- I look at him, you know what I see?
- What's that, sir?
1008
01:39:00,627 --> 01:39:03,837
Dolls with suction cups
staring out car windows.
1009
01:39:04,005 --> 01:39:08,105
A big float in a Macy's Day Parade. Has anybody
ever talked to you about merchandising?
1010
01:39:08,110 --> 01:39:09,410
- Talked to me?
- Yeah!
1011
01:39:09,412 --> 01:39:10,172
No.
1012
01:39:10,182 --> 01:39:13,932
There is definitely something there.
Maybe lose that headband, though.
1013
01:39:14,140 --> 01:39:16,099
He likes the headband.
1014
01:39:16,267 --> 01:39:18,894
It's flexible, Bill.
Ehm, excuse me, will ya.
1015
01:39:19,103 --> 01:39:22,189
A lot of buildings wouldn't stand up
to this intense use.
1016
01:39:24,692 --> 01:39:26,026
Go home now.
1017
01:39:32,492 --> 01:39:35,192
No visit to New York
is complete without a tour...
1018
01:39:35,200 --> 01:39:41,200
- ...of the world's most fully automated...
- Put a thin glaze of cheese on top.
1019
01:39:41,459 --> 01:39:44,002
- Your favorite.
- Yeah, sure.
1020
01:39:44,170 --> 01:39:46,120
Showtime! MTV.
1021
01:39:46,130 --> 01:39:48,382
- Are you coming?
- In a minute.
1022
01:39:48,883 --> 01:39:50,884
- HBO.
- What did he say?
1023
01:39:51,052 --> 01:39:52,386
He wants cable.
1024
01:39:52,554 --> 01:39:53,971
- Nick at Nite?
- No.
1025
01:39:54,138 --> 01:39:57,140
MTV? HBO?
1026
01:39:57,725 --> 01:39:59,059
- Have a cigarette?
- Sorry.
1027
01:39:59,227 --> 01:40:00,561
I'll quit.
1028
01:40:00,728 --> 01:40:03,188
- For you, sir. From the building.
- In the building?
1029
01:40:03,356 --> 01:40:09,152
Hello? Forster, what are you...?
Okay, we'll get you out. What floor?
1030
01:40:09,320 --> 01:40:13,240
Way up there? It'll take a while.
The elevators are out.
1031
01:40:13,408 --> 01:40:15,242
And all the automatic doors
are locked.
1032
01:40:15,410 --> 01:40:20,080
I don't know, not long. We'll do what
we can. Keep your pants on.
1033
01:40:20,540 --> 01:40:25,294
- You've been working too hard.
- Maybe I have, Mr. Clamp.
1034
01:40:25,461 --> 01:40:29,047
- Take a day off. Half a day.
- That's very generous, sir.
1035
01:40:29,215 --> 01:40:33,677
A half-day off once the building
is operational. Thank you, sir.
1036
01:43:21,929 --> 01:43:24,264
Long, isn't it?
1037
01:44:20,112 --> 01:44:22,489
Patently ridiculous!
1038
01:44:55,565 --> 01:45:00,360
Still lurking about?
Don't you people have homes?
1039
01:45:49,493 --> 01:45:50,827
That's...
1040
01:45:50,995 --> 01:45:52,329
Oh, no, you don't!
1041
01:45:52,496 --> 01:45:56,583
Sorry, 60 years of hogging
the end title is enough!
1042
01:45:56,751 --> 01:45:59,377
So that's all, folks!
1043
01:46:03,257 --> 01:46:05,133
Fade out.
83104
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