Original subtitles

[ Indistinct chatter ]

* I found love *

* didn't even know I needed it *

* but I found love *

* never even crossed my mind *

* I found love *

* had a garden, never weeded it *

* but I found love *

* took an apple just in time *

* I found... *

get married in Italy.

All the way from home, the same topic.

There's tons of stuff going on.

Like? Balkans.

That was ages ago. Read a paper.

They make my hands black.

Oh, you should walk down the aisle to frank Sinatra

with a bouquet of something that smells good.

Pot roast. Wear a long veil with your hair up.

I'll take another subject in the world for $200..

Why don't you wanna think about this?

I haven't made my mind up about "yes" or "no" part.

Don't wanna start fantasizing about dresses and flowers

or doves and tulle until I do so, please, change the subject.

The bridesmaids should be able to pick their own dresses.

You know, in "all in the family," Edith would be yapping

and Archie would pretend to make a noose and hang himself? Yes.

This moment made me think of that.

I'm done. I'm taking these to Lane.

Okay. Meet me at Luke's.

Oh, get me a paper, please. But my hands!

* if you're out on the road *

* feelin' lonely and so cold *

* all you have to do is call my name *

* and I'll be there on the next train *

* where you lead, I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need * * if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow *

* oh, oh, oh *

* where you lead, I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need * * if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow where you lead *

[ guitar music ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Mrs. Kim: No. No more talking!

Lane: But, mama, please --

not for you to think about. Give me a hint.

Children will know what their parents think they can handle.

I'm sorry. Was that the hint? Back to work.

[ Music continues ]

Hey. I came to bring you some of my mom's flowers.

Thanks. Are you okay?

No. I'm not okay.

What's wrong? Did she find your cd burner?

My parents are sending me to Korea for the summer

to visit my cousins.

So?

They won't tell me when I'm coming back.

What do you mean they won't tell you?

I mean they bought me a one-way ticket.

One-way -- the plane goes there and stops.

Are you sure?

I called the airline to confirm it,

my parents were in their room whispering all morning.

When my mother came out, she looked happy. She was humming.

I swear, they're planning on sending me to Korea

for the rest of my life!

It's like that Sally field movie

where her husband took them to Iran,

except I won't have to keep my head covered.

Okay, calm down. Calm down?

I am being shipped off to Korea!

I think you're freaking out a little prematurely.

Oh, really? Let's think about this.

Maybe there's some deal with the airline

and that's why the ticket's one-way,

or maybe they haven't worked out plans with your cousins yet,

or there's a weather consideration

or a holiday you don't know about or...

[ Sighs ] Wow, I'm really gonna miss you.

Mrs. Kim: [ Singsong voice ] Lane! Come here, please!

I have to go.

You've been a good friend.

Hey, bootsy.

So, apparently, they shoot a gland from a pig's head

in Ivana trump's rear end twice a month

to keep her looking young.

Wow. Hope she's not kosher.

I don't know. It doesn't say here.

[ Guitar music ]

Hey. What, what? Nothing. Huh?

You a Leo? No.

Thank god. Those guys are screwed this week.

Huh.

[ Music continues ]

[ Sighs ]

Hmm.

Whatcha reading? Oh, god! Do not sneak up on a person like that.

Instyle weddings -- very interesting.

No, not very interesting. Get any ideas?

Yes -- we should have cake more often.

Hey, bootsy, I'll take this.

Oh, no, just -- that's 6 bucks.

Lorelai...

So? Hi, Patty.

Instyle weddings! You said yes!

No, not yet. Yet. She said "yet."

I know. I'm right here.

He's a good man?

Oh, yeah, he's a great man.

Oh, I just love this! I just love this.

Have you told Luke?

No, it just happened last night.

Oh, Patty, stop it. I'll tell him.

It's not that big a deal if he just finds out. W-Whatever you say.

It just so happens we are on our way there

to have breakfast, and I'll tell Luke then.

Be gentle. Patty, Luke and I are just friends.

Just friends. Yes. Yes, I know.

It's true.

Okay, let's go.

Well, it is! I know.

She's coming. What's going on?

What is with this place? Why will nobody believe me?

They believe you. No, they don't!

I promise they believe you.

You are pacifying me. Just a little.

Well, I don't like it. I'll see if I can stop.

[ Whispering ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Indistinct chattering ]

I can't wait for the movie theater to re-open.

Mmm, let's see, what looks good?

I'm so hungry, I'm gonna have to order breakfast and lunch.

Mom, go tell him. I will.

Now. Why?!

In five minutes, someone' about be pushed through that window.

[ Gasps ] This is crazy!

Why is everybody making such a big deal about this?

Because everyone knows that Luke has a thing for you.

Luke does not have a thing for me. Tell him.

We can barely get through a single conversation without biting each other's heads off.

Everything about me repulses that man --

my coffee-drinking, my eating habits.

Remember when I called him "ranger Bob" last week?

He hated that. Will you get me a muffin?

Okay. God. Fine.

Hey. Fresh coffee will be ready soon.

Unless you want to just roll up a dollar bill and go nuts.

No, thanks, I can wait. What the hell's going on with them?

Oh, I...Don't know.

The whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room

with ping-pong tables and hand puppets.

What?

Nothing. I --

well...

I have something to tell you.

I have something to share with you, actually.

Share with me? Yes.

When exciting things happen, you want to share them

with people who you think will find them exciting. What is it?

Well, it's, um... It's very...

Exciting. I'm prepared to jump up and down if necessary.

Okay, then, uh, here it is.

Um...

Max has asked me to marry him.

Yeah, I figured.

You did? Well, it was obvious.

You two were getting kind of close, he was around a lot.

Then last night with that "life-changing" comment.

I put two and two together and figured it out.

Oh.

Congratulations, by the way. Thank you.

Have you set a date? No.

I haven't... Answered him yet.

You're gonna say yes. How do you know?

You're making a big deal about telling me he proposed.

I don't think I'm making a big deal.

You wouldn't if you weren't saying yes.

I'm sharing something with you. It is not making a big deal.

Sharing is a nice gesture, like when you're a kid

and you break one of those popsicles in two and offer half to another kid.

That is sharing. That is what I'm doing.

You offered me half a popsicle.

Yes.

Okay, so, now you know. Now I know.

Uh...

I'll just have two blueberry muffins and some coffee.

Coming right up. Okay.

I think it's good you're doing this.

You do? Good, me too.

Not that I'm definitely doing it, but if I do, it'll be good.

Where are you gonna live?

What? Here, Hartford?

Here. I don't know. We haven't talked about it.

Hartford's probably good -- closer to Rory's school.

Yeah, I guess.

Of course, it is a little far from the inn.

Uh...yeah.

But who knows how long you'll work

after you're married. Excuse me?

But you probably already talked about that, right?

No, but he and my father have agreed

on how many goats I'm worth.

Hey, I'm just talking here. It's great, really.

You gonna have more kids? Ha! Personal!

He wants kids, right?

In the world? Yes. He wants kids.

You haven't talked about that either.

What we've discussed is none of your business.

Joint checking accounts? You know his last name, don't you?

I want my popsicle back.

Fine, it's your business. Yes, it's my business.

Hey, some people go their entire lives

without having these conversations.

My parents didn't discuss a thing my entire childhood --

worked fine for them.

Of course, when my mom died,

she hadn't told my dad where the coupon drawer was.

Took him 10 years to find it.

Used a coffee can the whole time.

Okay. I don't care what anybody says --

coupon can's not as good as a coupon drawer.

How are those muffins coming?

But you might like a coupon can. You never know.

Here you go --

two blueberry muffins.

Thank you

and congratulations again.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

Now what's going on?

Kirk passed out. Oh. Here's your muffin.

Thanks.

How'd he take it?

Fine. He took it fine.

Is everything okay? Yeah.

I'm just tied to the emergency brake.

How did you do that? Oh, you know -- with a flourish and a big ending.

Okay, I got it. Let's go.

Oh, my coat.

It's pretty warm out for a coat.

It tends to cool off the minute I get in that house.

Are you good? I'm good.

My keys. Mom...

They're in the ignition. Okay, I got 'em.

What is wrong with you? Nothing.

You got lost coming here. Took wrong turn.

Six times. My self-preservational instincts at work.

And the coat and the keys?

Got stuff on my mind. Max stuff?

No -- stuff stuff. You're lying.

I'm being mysterious. That's what women do.

Oh, look, doorbell. Pretty sound. [ Doorbell rings ]

You make me tell you what I'm thinking.

And the lesson we've learned is you should never become a spy.

You're here! Richard, they're here!

Wonderful. Come in, come in, come in!

Uh...no.

Why? Cause you're scaring Rory.

Oh, stop that! Get in here!

"Scaring Rory" -- you're so silly sometimes.

Let's get you a drink. Put your coat down.

Oh, and are you hungry?

I had antonia make some roquefort puffs.

Antonia, bring the puffs!

Come, sit down. Sit down.

Richard!

Richard: Say nothing until I get there.

Well, hurry up! Mom, what's going on?

Oh, the nails, the nails, the nails!

So, tell me what's new with you girls.

Uh...nothing.

Hey, grandma, what about you? Did something special happen?

Well, as a matter of fact...

Oh, for goodness' sake! Richard, damn it!

Mom, why don't you just tell us what's happening now?

Oh, alright. I can't wait any longer.

Well...you know I'm very good friends

with bitty Charleston, the headmaster's wife.

Mm-hmm. Well, we have this little arrangement

where she keeps me apprised of the goings-on at chilton.

She tells me gossip on the students and their parents

and any information I might find useful.

Well, this afternoon,

she called to tell me the class list just came out,

and Rory has finished in the top 3%!

I know.

You do?

Who do you at chilton? Um...Rory.

Oh. It wasn't definite, but I had a pretty good idea.

Rory! Wonderful news --

you finished in the top 3% of your class!

Yeah, j. Edgar hoover here was just telling us.

What? I told you not to say anything before I got here!

Well, you took too long. No, we already knew.

It's a simple request. Just hang up the phone.

It's good news either way. Let's all agree.

I am immensely proud of you, Rory.

Yes, we knew you could do it.

Oh-oh, we certainly did.

We have to celebrate. Next week, we will have a special dinner.

All of your dinners are special.

This one will be extra-special.

We'll make all your favorite foods,

and you can invite some of your friends.

Richard: Presents might be involved.

You guys do not have to do this.

For top 3%? We most certainly do.

You start late, have to catch up,

and by the end of the year, you've overtaken everyone.

A true Gilmore. Through and through.

Antonia: Dinner is ready. Thank you, antonia. Shall we?

Unh-unh-unh -- after the top 3% in her class.

Well, thank you very much.

Um, just go ahead and start without me.

I gotta check in at the inn.

Michel's there by himself. People could die.

Well, hurry up.

[ Beeping ]

[ Sighs ]

Max: Hello? Where are we gonna live?

Lorelai? Where are we gonna live?!

Well, I -- your house, my house?

I-I-I don't know. We've to figure this stuff out.

I have a life and a kid, and both of them require a house.

Okay, but --

I have a lot of stuff.

You haven't seen my closet yet, but you would not believe

the amount of stuff one person can accumulate.

I don't even know what this stuff is,

but it's there and it needs a place to live.

Well -- and I want to work.

What? And I like my bank.

Okay, hold on --

teller's name is Margie and she can't count,

and there's something poetic about banking

in a place where the teller can't count.

Lorelai... What?!

Calm down.

Talk to me.

It's just...

If I die, I want you to know where the coupon drawer is.

I would like that, too. I think.

Well, we need to figure these things out before...

Before what?

Are you saying yes? What?

Are you saying yes? Why are you asking me that?

Because you call me out of the blue

completely panicked about where we're gonna live and bank

and coupon drawers and Margie.

Well, these are important things to discuss.

I agree. They're extremely important things to discuss,

especially if you're saying yes.

Are you?

I am so thrilled about this.

Do you think you'll get a certificate? I'm not sure.

They should give you a certificate or plaque.

I'll talk to bitty about that.

I can't wait to tell telman McCabe about this. Oh, Richard.

Oh, he's always bragging about that simpleton grandson of his. William is a lovely boy.

His head's like a football. It isn't odd.

If he fell asleep in the park, someone would punt him.

Telman is a very dear friend of yours. Yes, he is.

And one should always share wonderful news

with one's very good friends.

You want to brag. I think I have a right.

You think you were the one who finished in the top 3%.

It was my genes. I get to claim a little responsibility.

Aaah! Goodness!

Richard: I just spilled on my shirt!

What are you doing? What are they doing, Emily?

I have no idea. Stop that, you two!

Sorry. Yeah, sorry.

What is going on? Uh...I'm just really jazzed about this whole 3% thing.

Yeah, really, really jazzed.

Aaah! Aaah!

Don't even try to understand, Richard.

Antonia, please bring club soda for Mr. Gilmore's shirt.

We're running out of clarified butter.

Ooh, chop that finer.

No parboiling -- demasiado suave.

Ooh, that looks good!

Add a little pinch of oregano, I think we've got it.

Okay, got your lobsters.

Are they good? Ooh, they look good! Yes, they do!

Oh! It's got my hand! It's got my hand!

Thanks. Okay, I'll be fine. I'll be fine.

I'm a good clotter. Don't worry.

You are fresh, aren't you?

Okay, in the back, in the back.

Michel, I'm gonna need you to move.

In a minute.

What are you doing? I am weighing my Turkey.

Why? A group of scientists did a study on rats,

where they cut their daily calories by 30%.

And you felt left out? The rats lived 30% longer.

And the scientists were so impressed

that they cut their own calories, just like the rats.

It was a very nice display of solidarity.

I have decided to do the same.

If I stay alive long enough,

these scientists will be able to cure anything, including death,

therefore ensuring my indefinite existence.

You're gonna live forever? Like on "fame"?

Don't speak to me.

Give me back my scale.

Hey, um, I have an announcement to make,

and it's big and it's fabulous

and you are not gonna believe it.

Goodbye. Wait! I got news!

Oh, well, I'm sure it's very exciting.

Excuse me. What's with the Turkey?

Oh, Michel thinks he's gonna live forever.

Like on "fame"? That's what I said!

100 years from now, we'll sit around

telling my fellow men of science about you,

and we will giggle like little girls at your ignorance.

Now, I have work to do.

He did say "giggle like little girls," right?

Forget him. Tell me about your fabulous news.

I'm engaged.

What? I'm getting married.

No! Yes!

No! Yes!

No! No!

What? Sookie!

Oh, my god! This is amazing!

Oh, my god, I'm shaking!

Max is a wonderful man.

It is Max, right? Yes, it is Max.

Oh! I knew it. I knew you'd get engaged.

Really? God, I didn't.

You're gonna be a Sadie. A what?

* Sadie, Sadie, married lady *

* meet a mortgagee *

"funny girl"! Streisand!

Who's catering? Uh, Bobby flay?

Not funny. I'm making the cake also.

Absolutely. I'll start a menu.

Something light and romantic to start with,

something that will go wonderful with champagne.

Truffles go wonderful with champagne -- and scrambled eggs.

Sookie? Honey? I know scrambled eggs don't sound very festive,

but when you put them in little quail's eggshell

and you put caviar, they're quite a crowd-pleaser.

Hey, what's with the waterworks, lady?

It's just... I don't know.

You raised that little girl all alone, and she is so great,

and you work your butt off here and you go to school

and you put up with me. Oh, honey.

You just really deserve this. Thank you.

Prepare yourself for the most gorgeous Brussels sprouts ever!

Sookie, are you okay? Are you hurt?

Have you been making cutlets again?

Lorelai's getting married! Married!

Oh, I love saying that. Married, married, married!

Oh, that's great. Congratulations.

Thanks, Jackson.

Hey, do you want to look at the Brussels sprouts?

Yes, I do.

Oh, what about some nice Brussels sprouts

with a garlic olive oil for the wedding?

That sounds like a "till death do us part"

kind of side dish, doesn't it?

I wouldn't know.

What do you think is the most romantic vegetable?

You know, I'm the wrong guy to ask.

You're the vegetable guy.

The normal-vegetable guy, not the romantic-vegetable guy.

I would have no idea what an appropriate vegetable would be

to serve at a wedding. I've never even been to a wedding.

One -- my cousin bonbon.

Yes, that's his real name.

I didn't stay long. I didn't notice the vegetables,

so I would not be the guy to ask about wedding vegetables.

I'm not the wedding-vegetable guy!

Uh-oh -- Jackson's got

"panicked, my girlfriend wants to get married" face on.

Yep. Hey, next time he's here, tell him that you're pregnant.

With twins. Why not?

[ Insects chirping ]

Okay, so, what's the latest?

I just got off the phone with the American consulate. And?

Can you say "hyung Yung"? No, and what is that?

My korean name.

There must be something you can do.

I'm a minor put in the custody of family by my parents.

That's it. It's over.

You've to at least try to talk to your family.

[ Sighs ] I don't know.

Mrs. Kim: Dinner!

I have to go -- last meal.

Call me later.

[ Telephone beeps ]

Laney!

[ Sighs ]

Coming, mama.

Do you want tater tots also?

That's a rhetorical question, right?

So...what kind of dress are you thinking of?

Um...the one Stephanie Seymour wore

in the guns n' roses video.

Did you pick your colors yet?

Yes. Really? What?

Spumoni. Okay, I am planning this wedding without you.

You'll have no say, and I may not even let you come.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Rory -- good. It's Max.

Oh, hey, Max.

Look, I, uh...

I've been ring-shopping all day.

Ring-shopping? Very interesting.

Now, I've narrowed it down to three different rings,

I want to get her something she's really gonna like,

not just something she tells me she likes.

And you know her taste in jewelry.

So I thought maybe you could give me some advice.

Anything with the word "foxy" on it is a big crowd-pleaser.

Oh, maybe for our first anniversary.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay.

The first ring has, uh...A gold band

and sort of a square diamond.

It's simple, but very classic.

Gold band, square diamond, simple, classic...

I'm not sure that's her. Okay.

The next one is, uh, sort of an engagement band

with small diamonds all around it, white gold,

there's a wedding band that fits into it, like a set.

White-gold engagement band, small diamonds around it

with wedding band that fits into it.

That's a possibility. What's the third one?

The third one...

[ Sighs ]

...is from the '20s.

From the '20s? Hmm...

Large diamond in the middle...

Large diamond in the middle...

Diamond clusters on the sides...

Diamond clusters on the sides...

And it's a little deco.

A little deco?

[ Panting, barking excitedly ]

That sounds great. Good going. She's gonna be ecstatic.

She's right there with you, isn't she?

What? No!

I thought I heard her bark.

No, that's just a wild jackal that hangs out here sometimes.

Mm-hmm. Put cujo on the phone, please.

One sec.

Here, boy.

[ Knock on door ]

Uh, hello, Max. What a pleasant surprise.

I just walked in.

Hi. Am I late?

Nope -- right on time.

Good. Are you coming in?

In a sec. Uh...Where's your mom?

In the kitchen, on the phone.

Beginning, middle, or end of a conversation?

Well, it concerns jewelry,

so there may not be an end to the conversation.

Good.

Hi. Hi.

I missed that. Me too.

So, this whole breaking-up thing, we tried it.

Yeah, we did. Didn't really work for me.

Me either. So it's decided -- breaking up, not for us.

Not that it's a bad thing. I'm sure some people like it.

Oh, sure -- Cher, gregg allman.

I bet they give it a big thumbs-up.

Did you pick out your ring?

Yup. He's gonna surprise me with it tomorrow. '20s deco?

Supposedly ripped off of Zelda Fitzgerald's dead hand.

Hey, Dean. Hey.

When's dinner ready? Do I look like a timer?

Thought you might've set one. Silly rabbit!

10 minutes, we're there. I'll get it set up.

So, what's the movie for tonight?

Oh, my god, a classic.

"The Joan and Melissa rivers story starring --"

Joan and Melissa a mother and daughter torn apart by tragedy.

Suicide. Not getting "tonight show."

Mean boyfriends. Identical noses.

You'll laugh, you'll cry. Because you're laughing so hard.

It'll be an evening to remember. And in the pivotal scene, where a very distraught Joan

gets locked out of high holiday services because she's late,

I will be forced to rewind it

and play it over and over about 4,000 times.

You'll never be the same.

So... So...

Nice to have you back. It's nice to be back.

We missed you. I missed you guys, too.

No, I mean we really, really missed you.

You need the water bottle changed, don't you?

Desperately! Rag.

Thank you.

Where's Dean? Getting water.

You're shameless. He offered.

Please. The first thing he said to me was,

"hey, Lorelai, can I change your water?"

What can I do? The kid's a freak.

Hey. Hey.

I'm so sorry she's got you doing chores already.

I don't mind. You will.

She pulled out the mower this morning.

Well, if that movie is anything like you described,

mowing might be a good alternative.

Hey, I wanted to ask you something.

Yeah?

My grandparents are having this special dinner for me next week.

It's nothing big, but they said I could invite someone,

and you've never seen my grandparents' house,

and I'd really like you to meet my grandpa.

What?

Well, uh...

The last time I met your grandma was the night of the dance.

You know how that turned out. The dance was a long time ago.

She's over it by now. I'm sure everything will be fine.

You want me to go? Yeah, I want you to go.

[ Sighs ] Then I'll go.

Good.

Lorelai: [ Southern accent ] Oh, my!

That coffee can is just so high up there!

Whatever will I do?!

Coming!

[ Classical music plays ]

Antonia, take this and put it in the dining room, please.

Oh! I like that tie!

Yes, it's rather snappy, isn't it?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Don't you dare get on that phone. They'll be here now. I'm not.

I'm giving Rory that first edition of mencken's "chrestomathy."

[ Doorbell rings ]

Well, hello, there!

Well, hello, there.

Grandma, you remember Dean, right?

Yes, nice to see you again.

Thanks. Uh, your house is great.

It's huge. I've never seen a house this huge before.

Thank you -- so few people bother to notice

the hugeness of the house anymore.

It was so nice of you to tell Rory to invite a friend tonight,

seeing as this is her night.

That was really nice of you.

It was my pleasure. Good.

Well, don't just stand there. We have a celebration to attend.

Come in, come in.

Emily: So, what would everyone like to drink?

Uh, well, I'll have a white wine,

and Dean will have a beer.

What?! Corona, right?

No! I don't want a beer. I don't drink beer!

I'll have a water or soda or anything.

Or nothing. Not beer.

Never beer. Beer's -- beer's bad.

Relax, Dean, that's just Lorelai's little sense of humor.

You're very cruel.

Yes, well, keeps me young.

I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands.

Soda, Dean?

Please.

Rory? Oh, I'll have a beer.

[ Laughter ]

I'm sorry, Dean. We're not laughing at you.

Oh, wait, I think I was.

I think I was a little, too.

Oh, Richard, there you are. Come join us.

Hey, dad.

Grandpa, hi. Um, this is Dean.

Dean, this is my grandpa.

Hi.

Sorry. Uh...Hi.

Hello.

It's, uh... It's nice to meet --

does everyone have drinks?

Yeah. We all have drinks. Thanks.

[ Sloshing ]

[ Music continues ]

Should we do the beer thing again?

Uh...i don't think so.

Rory: I can't believe you found a recipe for beefaroni.

Emily: It wasn't easy. Antonia thought I'd gone insane.

Lorelai: Mmm, well...

No one needs a comment from you.

No, I was just gonna say, uh...What's the secret?

Well, let's just say it's not beef.

Oh. Okay. I'm done. Me too.

Dean, would you like some more?

Uh...

No. I'm fine, thanks.

Well, then, I guess it must be present time.

You didn't have to. Mom, you didn't have to.

Unless you got something that'll fit me, too.

Here you go, Rory. Congratulations. We're so proud.

Thanks, grandma.

Thanks, grandpa.

Now, go on. Open it.

Okay.

Oh -- pens.

All yours. It's beautiful.

The top student deserves the top tools.

Thank you so much.

Really.

Um, uh...Well, pens are very nice,

but I just bet there is a fabulous, fancy dessert

just sitting out there in that kitchen.

As a matter of fact, there is -- twinkies.

Rory told me that was her favorite dessert.

Emily Gilmore, you are one classy broad.

Antonia, please bring out the twinkies.

I can't believe I just heard you say those words.

Well, don't get used to it.

So, Dean...

Where are you planning to go to college?

Oh, uh...Well, I --

jeez, start off with "what's your favorite baseball team?"

I'm talking to Dean.

I don't know yet.

You don't?

No, not yet.

Well, what kind of grades do you get?

Richard, please, don't grill the boy.

I'm not grilling the boy. It's an easy question.

A's? B's? C's?

I get a mixture, actually.

[ Laughing ] A mixture?

What's the ratio? Richard!

I'm just trying to get to know the boy.

After all, Rory brings home a young man to dinner.

The least we could do is find out something about him.

He changes a mean water bottle.

I get a couple a's, a couple b's...

A few c's.

Really?

I'm not great in math.

Yeah, except who is, really?

Except mathematicians or Blackjack dealers,

or I guess Stephen Hawking doesn't suck.

But you know what else is good, mom, is a ho ho.

Because if you can't find a twinkie,

you treat yourself to a nice ho ho.

How long does it take to open a box?

She's making them. She's making the twinkies?

You're kidding. Oh, Richard,

wasn't there a book you wanted to give Rory?

In a minute, Emily. So, Dean... Uh, grandpa.

You do know that Rory's going to an Ivy league school?

I know. Harvard, Princeton, Yale.

He said he knew. You need top grades to get into a top school.

Yeah, well... Rory's really smart.

Yeah. She is really smart.

Mom? Why don't we all go --

how are you planning to make a living once you graduate

from this college you haven't thought about?

Grandpa, can we talk about something else?

I'm going to get that book.

I asked you a question.

I don't know what I want to do.

You know, when I was 10-years-old,

I knew exactly where I wanted to work.

That's because you were always picked last for dodge ball.

I knew I wanted to go to Yale and put on a nice suit every day

and be a very important man in a very powerful firm.

And I knew I wanted to travel and see the world.

Well, that's great. I wanted to see "la traviata" at the la scala opera house.

I wanted to walk the ruins of Pompeii,

to travel the far east.

Or be a ballerina... Or a fireman.

Lorelai, this isn't funny.

It's littlefunny to think of a 10-year-old kid

dreaming of the la scala opera house.

Rory does. Rory wants to travel. Rory has plans.

Rory's special. Yes! Exactly.

Rory is special.

Well, I know that Rory's special.

I've got it. Dean is special, too.

Rory. You don't even know him.

I know enough. No, you don't.

Dean is incredible, and he's special to me.

I bring him here, and you attack him.

I will not be spoken to like that in my house.

This family has standards. You live up to them.

You should expect everyone you spend time with live up to them.

You are a gifted girl with immense promise,

and you should learn very early

that certain people can hold you back.

Grandpa, stop it. You cannot treat Dean this way.

I'm sorry. Excuse me. I have to work.

Grandpa!

Thank you for dinner and gift.

But I really think we should be going.

Thanks.

I'm sorry.

Huh.

Am I crazy?

That's supposed to be us, right?

[Dramatic music]

Want to come in and have some dessert?

You never did get your twinkie.

Uh, no, thanks. I think I should get going.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Okay, well, all I can say is,

tonight, you officially became a Gilmore girl.

Feels good, huh?

Yeah. See you later.

Meet you inside.

I don't even know what to say.

It's no big deal.

I had no idea.

I thought he would... [ Sighs ]

I am so sorry, Dean.

It's not your fault.

None of those things he said were true.

They don't mean anything. I don't know why he acted that way.

You know what, let's -- let's just forget it, alright?

- Please don't be upset. - I'm not.

- Dean -- - I'm fine. I'm not upset.

[ Sighs ]

I have to go.

Call you tomorrow.

Okay.

That man is impossible. Twinkie?

He just attacks Dean out of nowhere,

and Dean is sitting there being perfectly nice,

and then all of a sudden --

oh, god, I'm so mad! He's a snob!

Yes.

And he doesn't listen.

He just wants to say horrible things

you've to sit there and listen to him

and then just agree with him.

What is that all about?

That is about 100 years' worth of inbreeding.

I've never seen him be mean before, ever -- not like that.

I don't know how I'll ever talk to him again.

And Dean -- he must be so upset right now.

I hate that he did this to him.

Yes, it was bad. My father was in fine form tonight.

But -- but?

There's a "but" from you?

Twinkie?

I don't think my father has ever loved anything in this world

as much as he loves you.

Now, that having been established,

let's just consider that maybe this flip-out tonight

actually came from somewhere

that possibly has nothing to do with Dean

and very possibly has nothing to do with you.

What are you talking about?

You are the great white hope of the Gilmore clan.

You are their angel sent from up above.

You are the daughter they didn't have. Mom...

No. It's not a "feel sorry for me" thing.

It's just the truth.

I mean, you're gonna go to college.

Hell, you're gonna graduate from high school.

They're gonna get to watch you walk down the aisle

wearing your cap and gown and get your diploma

and go to Harvard

and...be a phi beta bimbo

and graduate with honors and just set the world on fire.

I mean, that is the plan. Looks like it's gonna happen.

It is going to happen.

Except for that "phi beta bimbo" part.

But then tonight, you walk in with this beautiful boy

who likes you enough

to brave going to your grandparents' house for dinner,

and dad looks at you and sees you with him

and, all of a sudden, has a terrible Lorelai flashback.

He sees it all going away -- the college, the cap and gown.

I'm not going to get pregnant. I know that.

He should know that. Yes. He should.

But... You do have my eyes.

You do realize you just spent 10 minutes defending your dad?

I know. I'm gonna have terrible nightmares all night long.

But I'll tell you what --

if you cut him a little slack, I'll, um...

Wear my "porn star" t-shirt to dinner next week.

Deal. Good.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello? I just thought you should know that my parents

just brought in the suitcase

that I'm supposed to take on my trip.

And to paint you a picture, it could fit you and me

and still have enough room to do a little souvenir-shopping.

I am never coming back.

What is Lorelai thinking,

letting Rory run around with a boy like that?

Well, of course, she isn't thinking! Shenever thinks!

Richard, please! You're giving me a headache!

And what were you thinking, inviting him over here?

We told her she could invite someone. You were right there.

I did not mean him. Please calm down.

I will not calm down! Did you hear the way she talked to me? Yes, I did.

She sounded like her mother.

You were attacking her boyfriend.

A girl that age shouldn't have a boyfriend.

You truly think a 16-year-old girl isn't going to date?

Well, of course, and she should date.

Proper socialization is important to a child.

But she should not date one boy, and she should not date him.

[ Telephone rings ] Don't answer that.

I'm going to answer it.

We are in the middle of a discussion!

I'm sure you'll remember exactly where you were

five minutes from now.

Hello? Hi. Mrs. Gilmore?

It's Sookie St. James, Lorelai's friend.

I don't know if you'd remember me.

Oh, yes, you're the chef at the inn.

Listen, I'm sorry to call so late,

but I need to ask a question.

I'm planning a surprise wedding shower for Lorelai and Max.

It's gonna be more like a big party actually.

I've cleared the date with everybody around here,

but I wanted to make sure

that you were gonna be around before I finalized everything.

It's going to be Saturday the 21st.

I-I don't know. I'd have to check.

Okay.

Um...okay.

You check, and then you call me at the inn.

Okay? Yes, I'll get back to you.

Okay.

Aaah!

[ Dial tone ]

Call Rory tomorrow and apologize. What?

I want you to call her and tell her you're sorry,

and you think Dean is a lovely boy and he's welcome anytime.

Have you gone insane? Under no circumstances --

our daughter is getting married.

She's getting married, and she didn't tell us.

When Rory decides to get married,

I'd like her to tell us.

Call her tomorrow.

[ Door closes ]

[ Dramatic music ]

It was awful. It sounds awful.

That's the family you want to marry into.

I must be insane.

You must be.

Speaking of marrying into...

Yes?

I have a little something for you.

Let me guess -- is it gum?

'Cause you know how much I like gum

and how concerned I am about dental hygiene.

Oh...

Oh, my.

You like?

It's beautiful.

Oh, it's too big! No, it's not.

Give it to me. You can't have it back.

I'll get it sized. No, it's okay.

It's gonna fall off. I'll wear it on my thumb.

No. I'll eat a lot of salt and bloat up.

Just let me get it sized, and you'll never have to take it off again.

In fact, I'm gonna insist on it.

* la la la-la, la la la la *

* la la la-la, la la la la *

just in a minute, okay?

Okay.

* la la la-la *

* la la la-la *

* la la la la la la *

[ sighs ]

I'm getting married.

[ Theme music ]