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- All right, Clive? - Ms Rees.

Got a package for Carwyn needs signing for.

- That'll be the yoga, is it? - Yeah.

Yeah, I tried it once.

Disaster.

I mean, I'm active, like, it's just I can't bend.

I've made my peace with it, but it does upset...

GUNSHOT

SHE GASPS

Inspector Caesar, there's been a shooting.

PHONE RINGS Well, I am not in the habit

of letting people get away with murder!

Come, Atkins! Don't dally! PHONE RINGS

Crime waits for no man.

- ANNOUNCER: - John Chapel returns

as your favourite TV detective after the break.

SHE GASPS Carwyn!

SHE SOBS

I am still going to need a signature for the...

SIREN WAILS

There's a nice through l...

Ohh. Stay here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, cool your boots.

You have to let me in there. I'm Carwyn's business partner.

We're supposed to have a catch-up at 11.

Well, that's not going to happen now

unless you've got a psychic with you. Sorry.

Didn't mean for it to come out like that,

but can you please just back away? Yeah.

Kayleigh, I'm at work.

No, darling, I'm not coming home because the internet's down.

I... I'm not trying to stifle your thirst for knowledge.

You only want to use it for Snapchat.

Look, we'll talk later, right?

HE SIGHS

Sorry about that, Mallowan. Kids!

Don't have 'em, ha.

Unless you want to. You'd be great.

Do you want to?

Actually, I can't ask that.

HR. Sorry. Zip it. Right.

Where are we?

Victim's name is Carwyn Rees.

Local property developer.

Ran Rees New Homes. Not very popular.

Had the community up in arms over a new development.

Murder?

About to check in with Baxter, but he was alone in the house,

gun in his hand, so it looks like suicide.

Great!

Well, not great.

Sad, but simpler.

Less paperwork.

Right, I'll brief the chief super. Keep me posted.

- ON TV: - 43, 44, 45...

Bloody hell!

It's going to take more than bleach and elbow grease

to clean this up.

Apparent cause of death, gunshot wound to the head.

Can't confirm 100%, but almost certainly suicide.

Will you be all right on this, Janie?

Only...I know...

Yep. Yeah, I'm all right. I'm fine. Yep.

Ooh, weird.

He had lunch booked.

Doesn't say where or who with.

I wouldn't be killing myself if I had an house like this.

Did you see the size of the kitchen island?

Yeah.

What's that?

It's the package the postman was delivering to Carwyn.

- Oh. - Who kills themselves when they're planning a holiday?

- Nice-looking houses. - Mm.

Not that I could afford one.

You could afford the deposit, surely.

You've got a good job.

No partner or kids to spend your money on.

And you live with your mum.

Yeah, thanks!

Really making me feel better about my life.

Ooh, that is weird.

It's... It's paint.

- I'll get Team SOCO on that. - Mm.

BELLS CHIME ON TV Mind if I turn this over?

Yes, I mind! That's Caesar.

Oh, it's a good one.

The Bell Tolls For Thee.

I get enough bodies at work.

And these shows are all the same anyway.

No, Caesar was the best.

He had a mind that could unpick any murder. Total genius.

- Bit like me. - You've solved many murders, have you?

All right, not exactly like me. Right, door-to-doors...

I don't understand.

Oh, but without doubt you do, my dear.

Because you murdered him.

Quick update, Sarge. Wife's with the family liaison officer

and I've taken a statement from Ceri, the business partner.

Listen to us! We sound like proper police!

We are proper police, Chaudhry.

Yeah, of course, but a shooting -

I mean, it's big-boy business.

- I like your car. - Ahh!

Blue is my favourite colour.

Do you like Encanto?

Ava, get in here now! SHE CHUCKLES

Who lives there?

Uh, no-one knows much about him. Bit of a mystery.

Keeps himself to himself.

According to one neighbour, he's a "miserable old f..."

Let's just say they don't like him.

Well, he's nosy.

Maybe he saw something.

Oh, my God! John Chapel!

You're John Chapel! I love you!

Not you - your show.

I love your show. I don't love you.

I didn't even say, "I love you."

I think you've got me confused with someone else.

I'm sorry, bye.

No! Ah...

CLATTERING I know it's you!

I've watched you for hours.

Sorry, that sounds creepy.

I mean, Caesar. I've watched every episode.

Can you leave me alone, please?

I don't want to have to call the police.

Oh, I am the police! Janie Mallowan!

Mid Wales Police. Trebach CID!

SHE GASPS EXCITEDLY

I'm a big fan. 32. Scorpio.

Sorry. Sorry. I'm babbling.

Erm, c-can you let me in?

- JANIE: - Wow.

I was literally just watching you on TV.

What are you doing here?

This is my house.

You live here?

It's what people tend to do in their houses.

So, this is where you've been hiding!

I can't believe I'm in Caesar's house!

You're not. You're in John Chapel's house,

- and John Chapel's busy! - OK. - I...

- I'll do it. No, I'll do that. - OK.

Thank you. CLUNKING

OK, I can't believe you're here.

I have dreamt of this moment.

Not... Not in a weird way.

I'm not weird. This... This isn't weird.

No, not weird at all.

So, it's just you here, is it?

Yeah, uh... Well, no, no.

Well, there's Alan, but he doesn't live here.

He just stops by for his lunch and a chat. Ah...

Don't touch that.

- OK. - Thank you.

And, erm, where does this Alan live?

He doesn't live anywhere. He's a stray.

Oh, Alan's a cat?

He was the last time I checked, yeah.

And this cat talks to you?

Oh, yes. We have in-depth conversations

about Marxist dialectical materialism.

Of course, he doesn't talk to me - he's a bloody cat!

- Do I look mad? - No, no.

Not at all. No.

Oh, this is dusty.

Yeah, TS Eliot first editions tend to be,

and that's how I like it! Put it back.

OK.

- Not like that. - OK.

Right, erm, shall we cut to the chase?

I assume you're here about Carwyn Rees's murder.

Murder? No. Seems likely it was suicide.

HE LAUGHS No!

Oh, no, it was definitely murder.

You can be certain of that.

Wow.

I'll put the kettle on.

What? No.

You do... Uh...

KETTLE WHISTLES

I didn't even know I had biscuits.

You sure you don't want tea?

I can't stand tea.

What? You don't drink tea?

That's, like, Caesar's thing.

Yeah. I'm more of a coffee aficionado.

Right, well, take it as slowly as you need to.

What makes you think it was a murder?

Well, isn't it obvious?

Because of June.

OK. What happened in June?

No. Carwyn's cleaner, June.

She used to clean for me, but I had to let her go.

She kept dusting my books.

Anyway, June's son loves pop-up cards.

Pop-up cards...

Yes, so, at Christmas,

Carwyn used to hand-make these beautiful cards

- especially for him. - Oh.

Well, that's how I know he didn't kill himself.

I don't understand.

- Today is Monday. - Mm-hm.

June comes on a Monday.

Now, a man that considerate to his cleaner

would never allow her to find his body.

OK. So, when you say you're sure it was murder,

I was hoping for some actual concrete evidence,

seeing as you knew Carwyn so well.

I hardly knew him.

So all of this is just guesswork?

I didn't know him, but I observed him. I...

- Right. - I pondered his motivations.

That's how a good actor, a proper actor, understands people.

Mm-hm. And actors just know

whether someone was murdered or not, do they?

Carwyn Rees is not the kind of person to take his own life,

especially not with a gun. No, it's...

It's... It's too messy.

He likes order, neatness.

Yeah, I... But why? Why?

Why? Yes, he...

The product of a strict private school upbringing?

Possibly, Chapel, yes. Or maybe the opposite?

Yes, OK. Childhood. Yeah.

No boundaries, free-range,

so he set all his own rules and order.

Yes, it's... It's really interesting.

Yeah, that is a fascinating theory,

but sometimes there is no logic to suicide.

Trust me, people do act out of character.

Action is character. That's Aristotle.

- Yeah. - A person's actions are always consistent with their character.

- Look at you and your car. - What about my car?

Well, you look professional. You're on the ball.

You know what you're doing. You're smart.

But your car is a skip on wheels. It's out of character.

It tells me that it's important to you, but it begs the question why?

And it gets the answer - mind your own business.

Now, seeing as you've got nothing useful to give me

other than the ramblings of a village hermit...

Hermit? I'm not a bloody hermit!

I-I went to Swansea last month.

Hermit?! Hang on a minu... You asked me for my help here.

Yes, I did, and that is my bad.

But best leave it to the professionals. OK?

I'll let myself out.

Actually, one more thing.

Can you do the line, "Crime waits for no man"?

No.

We've heard back from Carwyn's solicitor.

Wife inherits everything.

Carwyn was due to meet them next week,

but we don't know what it was about.

All seems pretty routine. Brilliant!

Sir, erm, I was hoping to grab you for a chat about the DI position.

I was thinking of applying.

You?

Ah.

How to put this? Erm...

We used to have a saying on the force in Port Talbot -

there's no point going for a walk if you haven't tied your shoelaces.

Do you see where I'm going?

Not really. Am I the shoes?

What I'm saying is, you'll be a great DI one day.

Actually, I... I can even see you ending up like me.

- Great. - But you've barely been a DS for five minutes.

You need more experience.

Build more cases.

Oh, that's Baxter. PHONE RINGS

What?

No frigging way!

That's the PM report from our suicide.

And?

Murder?

The shot entry point's inconsistent with Carwyn pulling the trigger.

We think it was somebody stood behind Carwyn -

fired as he was turning, so it was like...

SHE IMITATES SHOT DANIELLE GASPS

Sorry. Let me get you a tissue.

Thanks.

I shouldn't cry.

I've just had my lids done.

Erm, did... Did Carwyn have any enemies?

Anyone he had beef with?

It doesn't have to be big beef. Little beef. Mince.

Carwyn had a lot of enemies 'round here.

Him and Ceri, that's his business partner,

had a lot of tree-huggers up in arms with the new development.

Another thing, was Carwyn planning a holiday?

Carwyn? Holiday? SHE SCOFFS

No. He was always too busy with the business.

I had to make do with a spa trip on my own every other weekend.

SHE SOBS

Right, well, erm, thank you for your help.

And sorry for your loss.

Sorry. I don't know why I went for the handshake.

I'll let myself out.

I still can't believe this.

Who would have thought?

Murder?

SHE SOBS

DOORBELL JANGLES

John Chapel! Brought you a present.

Oh, please, do come on in.

While you're here,

how do I go about taking out a restraining order?

It's from my own collection.

You don't already have it, do you?

Good God. That is a uniquely appalling picture of me.

I figured out why you moved here.

Recognised the bridge.

Not far from here. Me and my best mate, Sian,

we nearly broke our necks diving off it once.

So, what, you, uh, used to come here on holiday?

Good work, Detective, but, no.

No, we, uh... We lived here. Yeah.

This was actually our first home.

Elin was from here.

Abertirion.

Ah! Pulled yourself a Welsh girl!

- Nice one, John Chapel. - Hmm.

Rather not talk about it.

Look, erm...

I know what it's like to lose somebody close,

but the worst thing in the world you can do

is sit around thinking.

You've got to just push those thoughts down.

Put those feelings away in a box,

like Christmas decorations, and put them in the loft.

Then they're gone.

Thank you for that.

But that is really terrible advice.

- I don't think it's bad. - Now, let's get to the point.

I imagine you're here to talk about the murder?

What? No. No, it's all under control.

Oh, come on!

Visiting during a busy murder investigation?

The folder under your arm? The mug pretext?

I can see by the way you're looking at it,

you don't want to let it go.

It does actually have sentimental value, yes.

OK, erm, well, yeah, this is unusual to ask,

but, uh, I was thinking...

I don't know what I'm trying to say.

I think what you're trying to say is that

this rambling old hermit is the only person

who thought it was a murder, and that my unique insights

might be able to help you find the killer.

So, please, can I help you?

Yes.

That one, please.

HE INHALES

All right, but we'll have to do it from the cafe.

If I don't have my 2pm extra-hot latte macchiato,

I'm no good for anyone. Come on.

Caesar drinks coffee in a place like this!

Yeah. It's perfect.

Nobody knows who I am here,

and the staff are all six years old

and never look up from their phone.

Oh, that looks nice.

Oi, you said you weren't hungry.

- I'm not. - MUFFLED: - God, that is good.

Excuse me. You are him, aren't you?

John Chapel?

Guilty as charged, ladies.

I told you, Mo.

We couldn't believe that you were here.

We've all got to be somewhere, haven't we?

Even a TV icon likes an afternoon macchiato

HE CHUCKLES now and again.

We thought you were dead.

I'm very much still alive, as you can see.

It's a pleasure to meet fans, but...terribly busy.

So, what was that you were saying about the...?

- Yeah. - Now, I can't get over the guide book.

Forget the guide book!

Now, why would somebody want Carwyn dead?

That's the only question here.

The affair...

May well be a motive.

He was having an affair?

Oh, yes. The streaky bacon.

- What? - Three months ago,

Carwyn stopped taking deliveries from our butcher's.

He swapped his morning bacon sandwich

for a bowl of muesli.

Well, maybe he'd watched Babe: Pig In The City.

I didn't go near bacon for months after that.

Oh, I was very nearly in that.

Yes. They did an availability check.

Couldn't make the dates work. Had to let it go. Hey-ho!

Yeah.

Oh, erm, yeah. No.

And Carwyn had taken up running.

Well, the effort was clearly for a woman.

OK, assuming you're right,

that gives Danielle a motive.

What, over the affair? No, she isn't the biblical revenge type.

Doubt she even noticed.

Not the most observant. Yeah. Not like...

That's interesting, Chapel. That's very interesting.

- What is it? - No, there is somebody

who notices everything.

Joyce Pugh. Lives across the road from me.

Yeah. I don't know about Neighbourhood Watch -

Neighbourhood Witch, I call her!

You could get cancelled for that.

I don't care. You want to try living next door to her.

She's always snooping on people behind her curtain.

Well, I saw her yesterday with a young girl.

Oh, that's her granddaughter. Ava.

She's lived with her ever since Joyce's son and his wife

were killed in a...in a car accident.

Yes. It was tragic.

Somebody took a statement. There was nothing to report.

The police were outside Joyce's all day yesterday.

Now, I'm Joyce.

IMITATES JOYCE: Now, I don't want to know why they're there -

I HAVE to know.

I don't want to go out and see what's going on.

AS HIMSELF: Well, that's just not credible!

And that makes her a murderer?

No, it makes her an inconsistent character.

Joyce is hiding something.

You mark my words - she's the key here.

She is the key!

HE GROANS Are you OK?

Yeah. I just need a bit of a breather.

I'd forgotten how much it takes out of you,

getting into somebody else's psyche.

You know, it's, uh... Whoo! Shake it off!

Reminds me of a Gorky play I was in once.

Mood changes, emotional gear cha...

Have you had some more of my organic brownie?

Mm. Here we go. Joyce Pugh.

She was in the newspaper last week.

"Council meeting turns ugly."

Ugh, pop-ups!

No, I do not want to know what these washed-up stars look like now.

Aw! You're in this one.

What? No. Really?

- Let me have a look. - Joking.

Erm... Here we go. "Abertirion community councillor Joyce Pugh

"struggled to keep a lid on proceedings

"at the recent council meeting.

"Protesters hijacked the session to discuss

"the Rees New Home Fferm Ffawydden woods development.

"Protester Alys Evans was ejected after threatening Carwyn Rees."

Looks like we've got a new prime suspect.

- ALYS: - I lost my temper,

but these trees go back to the ninth century.

Hywel Dda would have walked among these.

You can tell that from the trees, can you?

No. But he was King of Wales around then.

- He could have been here. - Right.

Erm, can you tell me what you were doing

9.30 yesterday morning?

School trip. We were there all day.

- I teach at the local primary. - Yeah.

- Art. - I was going to guess art.

- It's the chunky earrings. - Oh, right.

There were paint traces found at the crime scene.

I'm a primary school teacher.

If I'd been there, there'd have been glue,

glitter and felt, too.

You threatened Carwyn.

I was worked up, is all.

Just look at this place!

It's almost magical.

Did you hate him?

It's n... It's not about him.

Rees New Homes lied to us.

There were a lot of angry people.

Just look at the strength of public feeling.

I wanted to, uh, tunnel under the trees,

stop the diggers - a real protest.

I've done it before.

Whoa!

Hywel Dda's gotten hotter since we did him at school.

That's my interpretation of him.

Powerful.

Strong...

..yet sensitive.

Yeah.

You really like Hywel Dda.

That doesn't make me a killer.

Now, if that's everything?

For now.

SHE HISSES

Oh, no. My leg's gone!

Can you give me a hand?

Thank you... Ohh!

JOHN: No doubt this Alys was furious,

but there's no blind rage in this...in this crime.

No, this... This murder was...was planned.

Mm.

They're barking up the wrong tree, Alan.

CAT MEOWS

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive,

mentioning the barking there.

I know this is none of our business, mate,

but...but justice...

CAT MEOWS

..surely that's everyone's business?

CAT MEOWS

A life has been taken.

CAT MEOWS

Afternoon, Joyce.

Oh, I see you've got a bare patch there.

Oh, yes!

My foxgloves had to come out.

My fault for not watering them,

but I've been up to here with it all.

Oh, you've, erm, shaved off your hair.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, we don't often see you out and about.

No. Well, a bit of fresh air and all that.

Can't spend all day inside.

No. Well, I know how hush-hush you are

about where you live and what have you,

but your secret's safe with me.

Well, I did tell Mrs Reynolds down the Co-op,

but she's got no idea who you are.

Marvellous.

You're the grumpy man from over there, aren't you?

- Mam-gu calls you the B word. - Ava!

Probably got a point.

Maybe I have been a bit of a B.

Sometimes even a C.

What's a C?

Clown! Never mind, Ava, love.

What did you want, Mr Chapel?

Well, I thought it'd be the neighbourly thing

to have a collection for Danielle.

Oh, poor dab,

Carwyn taking his life like that...

No, the police think it's murder.

Oh? Well, I... Really? I thought it...

Shocking, isn't it?

I didn't really know him that well, did you?

No. I-I can't remember the last time I spoke to him.

It was last week, Mam-gu.

We saw him at Vision Express and you said...

Oh, that's right! So we did. Go on, go and play.

Who'd kill Carwyn?

- We need your Caesar on the case. - SHE LAUGHS

If only we could help the police more.

Well, it's our duty to, isn't it? As a community.

Yes, I suppose we do.

Yes. If only we'd noticed anything.

Not that we want to gossip, of course.

- Oh, no. No-one likes a gossip. - No.

- Although his PA, young little thing... - Mm-hm?

..she's been coming round a lot lately.

Round the clock.

Oh, right, then. Well, that's... That's interesting.

You know, if you're community-minded now,

it's the church fete soon.

It'd be brilliant if we had someone off the telly

come and say a few words or what have you.

Well, I'm afraid I'm busy that day.

We haven't set a date yet.

Right, well, sorry, can't stay and chat.

Why was that man so odd?

He's an actor, little Ava.

They're all odd.

ENGINE STALLS

PHONE RINGS

ENGINE STALLS

- Stupid... - Sorry?

No. Not you!

My car's gone again.

Maybe get a new one?

It's got sentimental value.

Did you call to give me car advice?

I've been doing some digging on Carwyn.

Locals say he was a bit of a ladies' man.

Well, actually, they said he was a top shagger.

Apparently, he had relations with half the town over the years.

Anything else?

This is the juicy bit.

Carwyn seems to have been taking money out of Rees New Homes.

He's over 200 grand in a savings account.

That gives a pretty solid motive to Ceri,

the business partner. ENGINE IGNITES

Told you my car was fine!

Football, eh?

Most people have a photo of their wife and kids.

The Swans are my wife and kids.

I'm a season ticket holder.

Plus, stadiums are less maintenance.

- You a football fan? - Nope. Can't stand it.

Can we go through your movements again the morning Carwyn died?

I was on site at the show home.

We still had to get the kitchen tiled and decorated,

ready for tomorrow.

What's happening tomorrow?

Open day for Fferm Ffawydden.

Big event at the show home.

How does it work, two of you running the place?

Don't you get on each other's nerves?

I live with my mam.

We get under each other's feet all the time.

Sometimes you just want to say, "Stop knocking on the door.

"I don't want toast! I'm having a bath!"

We've been looking into Carwyn's finances.

Did you know he was stealing from the company?

Can I talk to you off the record?

No, you can't talk to me off the record.

We're the friggin' police.

But obviously you did know.

OK. Balls on the table.

I'd had my suspicions,

so I did some digging and found out he'd been stealing.

Why didn't you mention this before?

Because it's a pretty big motive for murder.

Now, is that everything?

Yes.

For now.

One more thing.

Carwyn had a lunch appointment in his diary for Monday.

Did you know anything about that?

No. You could check with his PA, Mel,

but, uh, she's showing an exclusive buyer round the show home.

I actually might take one of these. It's...

Mam can be quite a lot.

Such an honour to meet you.

CHUCKLES: Oh, stop it.

- Please! - My nan loved your show.

It's not really my thing.

Oh, really? Do stop it. Please.

Here we go.

SHE GIGGLES Oh.

Wow.

Now, this might sound a bit mad,

but, erm, when I buy a house,

I really like to find out all I can about who made it.

- Oh, of course. - You know, the creator. - Mmm!

Give me a sense of story.

You know, us actors, we love stories.

What was Carwyn like?

An enigma?

No, he was a Scorpio.

- Oh. - He was a great boss.

Loved getting his hands dirty,

- helping out with the houses. - Oh, very rare.

- Mm. - You must have admired him, looked up to him.

Desired him, even?

Me and Carwyn? SHE GIGGLES

I'll have to tell my girlfriend that. She'll laugh.

Oh! HE LAUGHS

He sounds like the perfect boss, though.

I mean, you must have all loved him here.

Well, not everyone.

He could be tough.

Even lost it with one of the electricians

for the plug sockets not being exactly lined up

in the spare bedroom.

Told him he'd never work for us again.

Oh. That's interesting. Yeah.

Sh-sh! THEY CHUCKLE

If poss, I'd love to get a feel of the house on my own,

you know, spread my antennae, erm,

you know, just inhabit the space.

Let the walls speak to me.

SHOUTS: Bah-bah-bah-bah!

Lovely acoustics.

Getting a real sense of history here.

It's a new build, John.

I knew you'd understand.

Thanks very much.

- You are such an intelligent person. - Oh, I suppose so.

I mean, I hope they really value you at Rees New Homes.

You've got such an acute intellect.

- Do they? I do hope so. - Yeah... - Thank you so much.

- I... - They'd be foolish not to.

- Lovely. - OK, I'll just... - Thank you. - I'll just wait...

SHOUTS: Bah-bah-bah-bah!

WHISPERS: Think, Chapel, think.

What am I missing?

HE MURMURS

That's interesting.

That's very interesting, Chapel.

Looks like Carwyn Rees was defrauding his company

and planning to run away with his money to Dubai.

Good work!

- Pub? - Sick!

I don't know, though.

I can't stop thinking about the guide book.

Like, you know when you can't sleep

and you've got the EastEnders theme running in your head?

Something's not right.

It's just a hunch.

Do you know how I got this job?

The old DI was having an affair with her boss,

and they both had to resign?

Blew a hole in the entire force -

- they were desperate for someone. SOFTLY: - Yeah.

No! I...

I got this job by being a good cop.

And the affair.

But mostly by being a good cop.

And being a good cop isn't about hunches.

What did we say about shoes?

It's not a memorable saying, sir.

This is good.

Build the case.

PHONE CHIMES Details. Evidence.

CCTV.

Laces, Mallowan. Laces.

G... Laces. Yeah. Got it.

Erm, I... I just got to go and...

Toilet.

The lads won't believe you were here.

- AS CAESAR: - Crime waits for no man.

Oh. That is clever.

HE LAUGHS

I can see why they put you on the front desk.

Very kind of you to say so.

- Oh! - Thank you.

Yeah! Yeah...

What are you doing here? Oh, your beard's gone.

Good news. I've been doing some digging around at Rees New Homes.

You can't be digging around on your own.

If my boss finds out, I could lose my job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but look at this. Look.

A squirrel on a bird-feeder?

What? Oh, sorry.

No, that's the wrong photo. Hang on.

There. There.

A wall. What am I missing?

Well, the tape at the bottom.

Carwyn was a neat freak.

He sacked an electrician for an out-of-place socket,

yet he was fine with that?

So?

Well, it's so out of character.

This is a real breakthrough.

Absolutely no need to thank me,

but I've also questioned Joyce Pugh.

You've done what?

- Yes. - No, she's... - You've done what?

Sir! This is...

- Oh! I do own a telly, Mallowan. - HE CHUCKLES

Mr Chapel.

Big fan of your work.

In fact, the wife's always saying to me,

"Why can't you be more like Caesar?"

It's...hurtful sometimes.

No, we're big fans.

I couldn't help overhearing there -

you've been helping us with the Carwyn Rees murder?

Just offering my expertise.

No, no, no. No, no, he isn't. No. No.

Who's this Joyce Pugh, then?

She's one of the neighbours.

Chaudhry's looked into her, sir.

She called Carwyn the day before the murder,

but she says she was just looking to buy one of the Rees New Homes.

If you believe that, here, I've got some magic beans to sell you.

JOHN LAUGHS No!

Joyce Pugh would never buy a Rees New Home.

You've only got to look at her tea towels.

Sorry? Tea towels?

Traditional. Welsh.

A woman with those towels would never buy a new build.

No, she's lying.

Oh... Well, we'll, uh, take Joyce Pugh's tea towels

down to the Crown Prosecution Service, then, shall we?

That should be enough to convict her of murder.

- Sir, it's not what it looks like. - Isn't it?

It looks like a member of my team is discussing lines of inquiry

with Charles bloody Caesar!

Sorry. No offence. Like I say, wife's a big fan.

He's the victim's neighbour.

He asked me to look into something.

I didn't want to bother you with it.

Look, I get enough drama at home.

Here, I can control things without kids and stress

and a pug who thinks my chair is a flippin' toilet.

Don't ruin my safe space.

Great. Thanks very much.

What the hell are you playing at?

Trying to help.

Do you think I want to be here? You involved ME.

I didn't know you'd try and get me sacked.

You can't solve this without me.

You don't have my insight.

Well, granted, you have the potential...

- You arrogant sod! - Arrogant?

Ha! I'm trying to make you a better detective.

Help you understand people. Understand yourself.

No! You're stroking your own ego

because you've finally found something more exciting to do

than sitting around wallowing and generally being such a pain

that nobody will talk to you except for a cat!

Well, thanks, but, no thanks!

Go!

DOOR OPENS Is that him off the telly?

Shorter in real life, ain't he? DOOR SHUTS

What do you want, Chaudhry?

Yeah, uh, found something on CCTV.

You're going to want to see this.

We've checked your alibi.

You were on a school trip to Dan yr Ogof Caves on Monday.

Actually, a pretty good day out.

Have they still got that talking sheepdog?

Sorry. Not relevant.

How are the caves?

I stayed outside on my own.

I get claustrophobia.

Really? Must have been a pain in the arse

when you were in those tunnel protests.

No! You wanted to be alone

so you could drive to Carwyn's house.

Uh, no.

Uh, yes.

I went for a drive,

but just to clear my head!

An environmentalist like you burning petrol for fun?

I've got nothing to add. I didn't kill him.

Thing about this job is that it makes you notice things,

and one thing I've noticed about you,

every time I mention Carwyn's name, you change the subject.

- So? - So it got me thinking.

I've been in your shoes.

I'm not normally one for talking about myself.

I keep things bottled up, like...

I don't know, what do you keep in bottles?

I don't use single-use plastics.

Yeah, all right. Fizzy pop!

This case has brought a lot of bad memories fizzing up for me.

Yeah. My best friend, Sian, years ago, she died,

and now the pop is f-fizzing and...

I'm... I'm going to drop the pop analogy.

I don't like talking about Sian.

I always change the subject because she meant a lot to me.

Now you've really lost me.

You don't like talking about Carwyn.

You miss him.

You loved him.

You were having an affair, weren't you?

SHE SIGHS

Yes.

For the tape, Miss Evans is saying yes -

ie, I nailed it.

I thought you hated him!

I did!

But he was so powerful.

So sexy.

And he owned land.

He was like a king.

My Hywel Dda.

Carwyn wasn't going to leave Danielle, so you killed him.

No!

I couldn't kill Carwyn.

You were right.

I loved him.

What do you want?

I thought I was a wallowing pain in the ass.

Don't be such a big drama queen.

I'm sorry, and I need your help.

There. I said it.

You don't have to look so smug about it, John Chapel.

What a moving and heartfelt apology.

We've had to let Alys go, which means we're back to square one.

Nothing makes sense.

We need to get back to what matters.

People. Motives. Character.

Well, Alys's story is definitely out of character.

How so?

An environmentalist falling for the man destroying the woods?

A straight-laced teacher lying to the police?

- Very out of character. - Oh, she was in love.

There's nothing more in character in love

than acting out of character.

It would have been suspicious if she'd acted IN character.

That would've been totally out of character. Do you follow?

Not even slightly.

HE EXHALES

The most out-of-character thing in this entire investigation

is the tape on the wall.

Carwyn lost it with the electrician,

but not the decorator.

Why?

HE MUMBLES

Perhaps a cuppa'll help.

Got some nice teas in.

I thought you didn't drink tea!

Well, I thought in case you popped by, you know?

Here you are. Don't get too excited.

I saw them on offer online.

Very Caesar!

Lapsang Souchong.

Camomile. Green.

Redbush.

All the same to me.

HE LAUGHS

Yes, Chapel!

LID CLATTERS

- CERI: - This is Mel, my assistant. She's just over here.

Thank you for coming.

I know what you're all thinking -

the build quality is excellent.

How are the prices so low?

Are we mad?

No, we're just mad about finding new forever homes.

This is so far from protocol,

it's in a different time zone.

So just stay in the background, OK?

Yeah, 'course. Yeah.

Mrs Pugh! You were interested in buying one of these houses.

That's why you and Carwyn spoke on the phone

earlier in the week, wasn't it?

- Yes. - No.

Those calls were him threatening you, weren't they, Joyce?

He'd realised he was the father of your granddaughter.

- WOMAN: - Isn't that John Chapel?

- SOFTLY: - Ooh, we like him.

He was in that thing with the thing.

I said stay in the background.

There are no background artists in this.

We're all of us here significant protagonists.

Now, it all started with the decorator's tape.

I couldn't get my head around why Carwyn hadn't noticed.

Could I get a selfie?

Yeah. 'Course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, landscape mode is really better.

- OK. - Yeah, yeah. That's it.

Yeah. All right? Yeah.

- All right? OK. - Thanks. - Now, where was I? - Thank you.

Carwyn didn't see the green tape on the red wall.

He saw the same colour,

but that's because he was red-green colour-blind.

Just like Ava.

That's why she thought my purple car was blue.

Carwyn had been close to my son's wife.

When Ava was diagnosed with the colour blindness,

they said it was probably hereditary.

And your son wasn't colour-blind,

and you didn't realise that Carwyn was

until you saw him at the optician's!

Ava's such a chatterbox.

I don't know where she gets it from.

She wouldn't stop talking about her magic eyes, love her,

so he goes and puts two and two together...

..rings me up and tells me he wants access to his daughter.

So you killed him?

Oh, no. HE LAUGHS

No.

Joyce didn't kill him,

but she did set a wheel in motion.

Family meant everything to Carwyn.

Someone to pass on the business and his estate to.

I mean, seriously, do we have to do this now?

I mean, can we just get this wrapped up quickly

and back to selling houses?

Who did kill Carwyn, then?

Oh, that's easy.

You did.

I was here.

It's not hard to sneak out unnoticed.

You were wearing decorator's overalls and a mask.

Everyone too busy to keep track of who was where.

Why would I risk killing Carwyn?

What if Danielle saw me?

Oh, but she did...

FOOTSTEPS ASCENDING

..but then, she was your accomplice.

Carwyn!

You and your lover, Ceri, cooked the whole thing up together!

The truth is, you've been sleeping together for months.

"A spa weekend every other week!"

The dates of those spa trips wouldn't happen

to coincide with Swansea City's home matches, would they?

Why would we kill Carwyn?

Money.

Our guess is that Ceri overheard Carwyn on the phone

to his solicitor.

They were due to meet to change his will.

You and Ceri knew you only had a little time

to stage his suicide.

You saw the ultimate revenge.

You could take everything that was his.

Made a pretty believable suicide motive.

The businessman defrauding his company,

caught out by his partner, ends it all.

You were clever,

but neither of you had thought about Carwyn's true drives.

He would never defraud his company.

He would be stealing from his father, his family name.

Oh, you've got nothing here.

Actually, we've not got nothing.

Sorry, that's confusing. I mean, we've got some...

We've... We've got a thing!

This always bugged me, but I couldn't figure out why.

It's the way it was sent.

Signed-for delivery.

Nah, no book shop sends books like that.

You sent it so that you could be at the front door

when the postman came.

A perfect alibi.

That's your proof?

My solicitor will laugh you out of court.

Maybe not,

when they see this CCTV footage

of you sending the package.

Oh, you were clever.

I had to check every post office in a 30-mile radius.

Oh, don't look so annoyed.

You messed up, too.

We took your overalls in for testing.

You'll never guess where forensics linked them to.

I'll fill you in at the station.

SHE WHISPERS

PERSON APPLAUDS

Very good!

So is this going to be on the telly?

MURMURING

Both of them are saying the other one was the ringleader.

You can hardly shut them up now.

I thought you'd be pleased.

I am.

Tell your face.

All right, you know what?

Actually, I am a bit upset.

Not just because I now have to tell the chief super

that we had a civilian involved in our investigation,

but I've been trying to guide you as an officer for years.

You don't have to be jealous of John Chapel.

I'm so not jealous!

No, he helped me a little bit here,

but, honestly, it was your guidance that helped me crack the case.

You know, he had no evidence,

so I went to CCTV, details, and I found some.

Even said to myself,

"Janie, don't walk without your laces done up."

Really?

100%.

Oh.

Well, good work.

But see that this John Chapel nonsense doesn't happen again.

You're a good detective.

You don't need fictional detectives helping you.

And, erm...

..I'll have a think about that DI position.

Maybe you are ready.

Hey!

You really said that to yourself?

Yeah.

Well, now Danielle's out of the picture,

everything goes to the next of kin.

Looks like Joyce Pugh might be able to buy some new tea towels

now her granddaughter's a millionaire.

She's probably more relieved that this is all over,

and she didn't have to kill Carwyn as planned.

What?

Didn't you get that, Janie?

Caesar just called me Janie.

It's not a dream.

90% of me knows that.

Oh, for goodness' sake, leave off!

The dug-up foxgloves.

A poisoned tea for the lunch in Carwyn's diary.

She was going to do it that afternoon!

Very Agatha Christie.

Traditional. Like her tea towel.

No, she had to kill him to keep her granddaughter

and the memory of her son.

John Chapel, we make a good team.

Of sorts. Yeah.

I'm the inspiration,

you're the perspiration.

Are you calling me sweat?

It was a compliment.

No, you're a hard worker.

You're very diligent. It's... It's impressive.

Now, why don't we move on to why you're really here? Hmm?

I presume you're stuck on a case.

Oh, great. I'm sweat and I'm thick.

I am actually capable of solving crimes

without your help. We're done.

All right. Fine.

There's been a weird spate of local burglaries,

and someone keeps leaving dead birds at the scene.

Proper head-scratcher.

I need your help. And don't look so smug about it.

Wasn't so hard, was it?

You're an annoying sod, John Chapel.

Takes one to know one.

I'm not annoying.

Well, no, not annoying.

- More scintillatingly irritating. - Scintillatingly...

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