Original subtitles

What? Uh, you're not gonna eat with us?

I can't. The dinner rush is starting.

Wait. Give us a kiss before you go.

[gasps] Yeah, kiss us all on the mouth.

Yeah. [moans]

No, I'm not gonna kiss you on the mouth.

-[Paul moans, kisses] -[groans] Stop! Okay.

-Love you. -[Paul] See ya, bruh.

-[phones buzzing, beeping] -[Billie] Oh. [gasps]

-[Paul] What? -[Issa] Oh, my God.

-[Paul] Holy shit. -Anton sent three alarms.

-He's bringing a guy home. -He's breaking his dry spell.

-Oh, shit. -Oh.

-[Billie] Uh, uh -[Issa] This is it.

-[Samir] Okay, uh -Oh, my God.

-[Paul] Issa! -We said separate loads.

-[scoffs] -[Samir] You can't

Not sanitary, babe.

Okay, guys, come on. Let's go.

We have, like, three minutes. Come on!

-Push the beds together, Samir. -[Issa] Faster, guys. Come on.

-I have the flowers. -Awesome. Put them on the bed.

Can you please move the pictures of my sister.

Wait. How do you make a swan? How do you make a fucking swan?

-Yeah, I-I know how. -[Issa] Okay. Thank you.

-One can be a centerpiece. -I don't know how.

[Issa stammers] All right.

-What are you doing? -Oh, hi.

-[gasps] -Wait. Where's your guy?

What guy?

The guy you're gonna fuck. You sent three alarms.

No, bringing someone home is four alarms.

-Issa. Our therapist died. -Oh.

George is dead?

-[Anton] Yeah. -Oh, my God.

-[Anton] I know. -Oh, my God. What?

[Issa breathes shakily]

-[vibrator buzzing] -What is vibrating?

[Issa] It's me. It's me. I'm crying hard and fast.

[theme music playing]

I seriously can't with this veil.

Can you stop?

It's tradition in my culture.

You can't just say that when you want to wear something.

I didn't make a thing about your hat.

-My yarmulke? -Anton.

Can you imagine his poor wife finding him like that?

Just awful.

The family asked to respect their privacy,

so I'm just staying out.

I know. You know what that means though.

[gasps, whispers] Oh, my God.

[pastor] Good morning, friends, family.

We're gathered here today to remember

[whispers] Issa. -Mm-hmm.

Look at me. He took his life.

-[pastor] the life of our dear friend -Huh? What?

-[whispers] George took his life. -[pastor] Dr. George

-[pastor] George is gone far too soon -Took it where?

-No, Issa. -[pastor] and his passing

-He [grunts] -[pastor] has left a hole in our hearts.

-Oh. -Yeah.

-Totally. [grunts] -[pastor] not only to mourn our loss

-I hate funerals too. -[pastor] but also to celebrate

Just come with me. I need to speak to you.

No. Stop. Hey.

Oh, my God. So sorry, ma'am. Oh, sorry, sorry. Love your hair.

It's just so sad up front.

It's such a beautiful service that we need to watch from the back.

Stop it. What are you doing?

Stop it. What are you doing? George killed himself.

George killed himself.

-What are you talking about? -I just heard that woman say

they found him and they want us to respect their privacy.

-Oh, my God. The suicide words. -I know. I know.

Oh, my God.

-What if it was my fault? -What? Issa

No, no, you don't understand. I called him six times a day.

Last week I woke him up at 3:00 a.m.

to ask him if I was needy.

Issa, look at me.

I don't think I am, but I kind of

George loved talking to you, okay?

[stammers] If anything, you prolonged his life.

-[sighs] -But I-I do think it was me.

What? No.

But actually, the thoughts I was exposing him to

were dark and compelling.

I asked him if his ten-year-old self

would be disappointed in the man he is today.

[gasps] Maybe it was you.

-What? Issa. Please! -I don't know.

I don't know. I just God. Oh, God.

[Issa breathing heavily]

What if we committed "theracide"?

What is "theracide"?

When your personality makes your therapist kill themself.

-Oh, my God. -What do we do? What do we do?

-Call Billie. Call Billie. -I'm obviously calling Billie.

Oh, God. She'll know what to do.

-Voicemail. -What? Where is she?

[scoffs]

Oh, she's fucking Mr. Teacher.

She's fucking the English teacher.

-[both grunting and moaning] -Can I come?

Can you come?

-May I come? -[both chuckle]

[both grunting and moaning]

-Here you go. -Thank you.

-World's best teacher, huh? -[chuckles]

The whole world, they called it? It was you?

I get, like, three of those mugs a year.

-Wow. -[Mr. Teacher] Yeah.

When people say teachers don't make enough,

I'm like, "Come on, we're fine."

Well, you're mug-rich, so

We kind of make too much, if you consider the mugs.

So, um, a friend of mine

is having an art show in Ridgewood tomorrow.

Very pretentious, very boring.

But I was thinking if you're not busy,

maybe you'd like to

You know

You don't know where I'm going with this?

I'd like to bring you.

-Would you like to come? -Yeah. I'd love to.

-Yeah? Great. -Yeah.

My friends are gonna adore you.

Did I ever get you one of these?

-Don't think about it. Don't. -Okay.

-Bro, even this job -Mmm.

dude, doing deliveries, I set my own hours.

Yeah.

And now my hours are just all the time.

-That sucks. -Bro.

-Yeah. -And then, I come home and

and Anton's on a work Zoom,

and Billie won't stop talking about her credit score.

I know. It's like, remember when the plan for Saturday was,

like, just park?

Oh, yeah.

Like, park was the whole plan. [chuckles]

-I think park's over, man. -Or like Tech Decks.

-Remember Tech Decks? -Bro!

-Yeah? -Do I remember Tech Decks?

Check this out. Bro, I I can still rip, I think.

I don't know. Like this. Impossible.

Like, I don't have the dexterity anymore.

Wait. Here, hold this. Right there.

Yeah. Gladly. Who's partying right now?

-Hey, boys. How's it going? -Hi.

-Um, are your parents home? -Yeah.

No. But But that's okay, I can I can grab it for them.

-No. Hold your horses. -No. I, uh

I have to scan an ID, so

Yeah.

-Yo, hell yeah. [chuckles] -Fuck! Lucky dog, man.

Oh, you boys playing Melee?

Oh, you boys playing Melee? Uh, yeah. Why? Do you guys play?

Uh, yeah. Why? Do you guys play?

Uh, do we play? Yeah, let me think. Yeah.

I mean, not in a little while, but yeah.

-Yeah, you could say we play. -I'm a Kirby guy.

Well, you guys should tag in, you know. [hisses]

-[teen 1] Yes! -[teen 2] Goddamn it!

Just give us one second.

-[teen 1] Yes! -[teen 2 groans]

We can't give it to them, right?

-No. -No, no, I'm saying no.

-I was saying no. -That'd be super messed up.

-Super messed up. Yeah. -Right? Yeah.

[teen 1] Boom! Yes!

[teen 2] You gotta be Come on.

[teen 2] You gotta be Come on. [announcer on TV] Red team.

[announcer on TV] Red team.

But they'll probably find it another way.

They want beer, they're gonna get beer.

Yeah. If we're in there, we can supervise.

-We can supervise. Yes. -Yeah, chaperone. Mmm.

-Yeah. -Yes.

Hey, you're not gonna, like, drive or anything?

No, we can't drive. We're sophomores.

-Love it. -Too young. Yeah.

-Here's your beer. -Put that in the fridge.

[Paul] It's going down.

[Samir] I want a controller right now.

Shoud I get a earring up there?

Up there?

-I think on the left. -Where did you get that idea?

From Dylan when he broke up with Chelsea.

He doesn't It's not his only.

[Samir] I know, but come on, he's gonna know.

When he sees that, he's gonna say--

Do you guys think you'll die one day?

-Yes. -[Issa] Okay, announcement.

Anton and I need the living room tonight.

-Why? -I texted Taryn.

-[groans] Issa. -Wait. Who's Taryn again?

Taryn. From Roy Rubin's Halloween party.

-Mm-mmm. -The Austin Powers costume?

Great skin. Communes with the dead.

-Mm-mmm. -Oh, Taryn. Yes! -[Issa] Yes.

She said that in a past life I invented dogfighting.

-She's very perceptive. -Okay, she is not coming over.

Anton, we need closure.

What if our sick, twisted minds killed George?

Then we have to sit in that. That's what George would say.

We have to sit in the uncertainty.

And why would we do that when we can talk to ghosts?

-[phone buzzes] -[gasps]

-Jared texted. -Stop. Jay? What'd he say?

-Jared texted. -Stop. Jay? What'd he say? [Samir] Check it.

[Samir] Check it.

" Smash tournament tonight.

Bring whatever shit you have." Oh, shit!

Bring whatever shit you have." Oh, shit! -[Samir squeals] -You guys,

-[Samir squeals] -You guys,

this is the saddest thing I've ever seen,

and I'm pretty sure

my therapist shot himself in the face this week.

[Billie] What's going on?

They're going to hang with the children.

-[Billie] No. Really? -Samir, it's weird.

You're like a full decade older than them.

-Sad. -Okay, that's weak-ass

coming from someone

who's hooking up with her high school teacher.

[snorts] "That's weak-ass"? So Dylan.

I know. How Dylan was that?

Okay, we're not hooking up. We are a couple.

A couple who goes to art galleries.

Issa, you support my relationship, right?

Hmm? With Mr. Teacher?

Hmm? With Mr. Teacher? -Yeah. -Absolutely.

-Yeah. -Absolutely.

It's so unhinged. I love it.

Also, we need to stop calling him Mr. Teacher,

'cause he has a real name.

-He does? -Besides Mr. Teacher?

-[horn honks] -Ooh, okay, that's him.

Okay, Samir, Paul Baker, look at me.

-[Billie] Look at me. -What?

Do not go back to that teenage boy's house tonight.

-Fine. -Okay.

Thank you.

[Billie] And he can't bring his GameCube here either.

Obviously, I know that.

-Yeah. -[door closes]

Fuck. [sighs] She thinks of everything.

[sniffs, chuckles] Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

So, the Austin Powers thing wasn't just for Halloween.

[shushes] Be respectful. She's giving us a huge discount.

-You're paying her? -Shut up.

[scoffs]

Ask only what you wish to know.

Trust me.

Okay.

[breathes sharply] Anton.

[breathes shakily]

Is there a spirit here with us?

[breathes shakily]

Y-E-S.

-[chuckles] -[Issa breathes sharply]

There is a "yes" spot, so you could've just gone there.

It's definitely George.

Yeah. Oh, it's George. I know it. I feel it.

[Issa] Anton. [shushes]

Spirit

what is your name?

-G -I told you.

-Yeah, you knew it. -E

-R -What?

O-R

[gulps, grunts]

O-R

[chuckles]

G-E.

"Gerororge."

Oh, maybe that's his heaven name.

Yes!

-Heaven name? -Mm-hmm.

You get a new name when you cross over.

It's not in English. [scoffs]

Issa, she clearly just misspelled it.

She's not doing anything.

Issa, she's moving her own hand. [scoffs]

No, she's not.

Also, even if she was,

it's 'cause the universe compelled her to.

-Grow up. -[grunts] Okay. Ready?

-Can I ask something? -[Taryn] Mm-hmm.

George, if you're actually here with us, give us a sign.

-[door slams] -[both screaming]

[screaming]

Why are you screaming?

-He's here. -Is he?

-He's fully here. -Gerorge!

-Take my vessel! [grunting] -[Issa gasps]

Okay, okay, okay. Ask it. She's doing something weird.

-Ask it. -[Issa] Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay. Was your death our fault?

Yes!

-No! -Oh, my God!

-[grunting continues] -[Issa sobbing]

-Oh, my God. We killed a man. -[mumbling] Get over here.

-Okay. [chuckles] Ow. -[Issa sobbing]

Ouch.

Hmm. My nipples are so hard right now.

[breathing heavily]

Can one of you drive me home after this?

My license was revoked.

And I'm banned from the train.

I told her you know this is just pewee fucking soccer, right?

If your kid's doing a header,

you should be in a travel team."

Yes, it's just like this girl in Sophie's gymnastics class.

She's already doing a back tuck.

Okay, so your kid should be in the Olympics?

-That's what I'm hearing. -[chuckles] Exactly.

-Yeah. -[Joe] Hey, guys.

-[both] Hey. -[Joe] Let me show you around.

-[acquaintance] She's sweet. -[Krisel] Yeah, she's great.

-Hey. -Oh, hi.

-Hey. -Oh, hi. -Cheers. -Thank you.

-Cheers. -Thank you.

-So, is it gonna be weird? -Hmm?

-When your friends adopt me. -[chuckles]

'Cause it's gonna be kind of like

you're sleeping with your friend's kid.

It's gonna be a whole thing.

People are gonna talk about it. [chuckles]

Yeah, art shows

are basically just standing around bitching about your 40s.

Oh. [chuckles]

And of course the heavy, heavy drinking.

-Mmm. Speaking of. -Oh.

Thank you. Double up?

[Joe] So, this one's called Unraveling In

It's my favorite part,

the gentle ribbing of the artists themselves.

Okay, you guys. Very funny. [chuckles]

Looks like you're having a great time.

I mean, Georgia O'Keeffe, who?

[all laugh]

So, now, tell me, does your wife know about her?

[all laugh]

Okay. So, you fully based this off me? [chuckles]

Like you sneaking into my room, like,

fully painting my vagina. [chuckles]

Please don't accuse me of that.

No, no. I wa I wasn't No, I was I was joking.

I was ribbing ya.

Okay.

No. I-In all seriousness, dude, the, uh

-the colors are really moving. -Thanks, man.

Yeah, you really nailed the pink of my clit. [chuckles]

Oh, God!

-[acquaintance] Okay. -Nice. Okay.

-[Joe] Okay. -[acquaintance] Okay.

-Let me show you -Yeah.

Hmm.

[stammers] No. Don't. That's okay. It's not that bad.

"You nailed the pink of my clit?"

Yeah, that was a That was a big swing.

-It was a huge swing. -It's, uh

[teen 2] Okay. All right.

[teen 2] ♪♪ Have a seat ♪♪

[teen 2] ♪♪ Grab a beer ♪♪

-♪♪ We're chilling with ♪♪ -Who?

-♪♪ Paul and Samir ♪♪ -[all] Ah!

-♪♪ Saturday, at Jared's house ♪♪ -[all] What?

-♪♪ And we about ♪♪ -What?

♪♪ to wild out! ♪♪

[all] Ah!

♪♪ My name is ♪♪

- Yeah. -[teen 2] Dude, they're here.

-Hey, guys. -Hey. It's good to see you.

Heya.

[all chattering]

Did you know this was gonna be guy-girl?

No. Did you know it was gonna be guy-girl?

No, dude. That

That definitely makes this feel a lot more statutory.

[sighs] Uh

Let me get you a drink.

Whoa, whoa! No, no. No. No, no, no. Hey, hey. No.

-No. No. -Dude chill.

No, dude, I can't chill. This is I brought you this alcohol.

They're sophomores, dude.

-Who? These girls? -Yeah.

-No. They're freshmen. -Okay.

-Fuck. -Who are these guys, Jared?

I don't know. Some guys who buy us booze.

-Jay. -Bro!

Why are they looking at our boobs?

-I'm not looking at -I didn't even look at you.

Paul Baker? No, no, no. That's it.

Yep. I'm on it. Yeah.

We're taking your booze. We're taking them away.

This is very irresponsible.

You guys are completely out of control.

So we have to We have to call it.

And you know what? We'll confiscate

-I'm taking your GameCube. -No. We'll leave the GameCube.

Okay. We'll leave the GameCube for now. For now.

I mean, I wouldn't be here without George.

He truly cared about you, sweetheart.

-Aw, thank you. [sniffles] -Thank you.

You know, when my mother got sick,

George taught me so much about loss and life.

-Squeeze in. So sorry. -I'm so sorry.

And you know, that was bone cancer.

We're just gonna go

-Oh, God. That sounds horrible. -Sorry.

[Anton] I'm sorry. Did I step on your toe?

You know what? I would love to sit there. I'm so sorry.

-If I could scooch in here. -Thank you, Aaron.

That was beautiful. If only George could hear that.

He'd be so happy.

[Anton] Issa, not yet.

-He can actually. -No.

We We We talked to George.

-Excuse me? -[Issa] We talked to George.

We communed with him.

Issa, we were supposed to save this--

We have this information. We have to tell them.

-It's just not -Ultimately, it will help them.

I didn't believe it at first either,

but there is some truth to it. So

First of all, I want you to know

that George can still hear us

that George can still hear us and I am happy to tell you

and I am happy to tell you

that he has arrived safely in the afterlife,

where he is currently living with three roommates.

-Which is cool. -Okay.

Um, George did have some unfinished business.

Mostly some tax stuff and something with the letter J.

-Oh, yeah. J. Joe? -J. J. Joe?

-Oh, yeah. J. Joe? -J. J. Joe? -Journey? -Journey, the band.

-Journey? -Journey, the band.

-Did he like the band, J -[man] Jewish.

-Oh, Jewish! -Jungle?

But anyway, um, cause of death

-uh, was -[sighs]

The cause of death was, uh

'Cause, no, everyone should know.

-It's only right. -Issa. Issa, please.

Anton and I are the reason

that George shot himself in the face.

-Took his life. -Sorry. Took his life. Sorry.

And we are so deeply sorry.

[sighs] We abused our relationship with him a-and

and we turned him into a battered therapist.

-Our minds are just so sick. We're unwell.

We're sick. We're not well. Okay?

And-And he he really should've

never had to deal with us in the first place.

-And we are just so -So I'm sorry.

-deeply sorry for your loss. -Deeply sorry.

Yeah.

George didn't kill himself.

-What? -What?

You thought you were responsible for his death?

-That is-- -So narcissistic.

-[scoffs] -I'm sorry, who are you?

My name's Katie.

Yeah. George didn't mention you once.

Ever.

The hated me They didn't hate you.

Uh, okay. Did you see their faces after Clitgate?

[snorts]

-They think I'm a child. -No. They Hey.

Billie, come on. They Stop.

They thought you were great.

And if they didn't, they're all drunks and depressives anyway.

Don't say that.

I mean it. You're more mature than any of them,

and if they can't see how great you are, then fuck them!

I only went because Steve's my divorce attorney.

I'd much rather spend the night with your friends.

-You'd really like my friends. -Yeah? Great.

Well, then I can't wait to meet them.

Well, I can't wait for you to meet them.

[Anton] He slipped in the shower!

[Issa] The widow confirmed it!

He slipped in the shower! We're not monsters!

-Oh, my God! Oh, my God. -Wait. Are these them?

-He didn't kill himself! -Uh

-No, uh, no, I don't -[Anton] Come on!

[Anton and Issa] He didn't kill himself 'cause of us.

Come on, now!

He didn't kill himself 'cause of us.

-[Samir retches] -Stick it up there.

There you go. Attaboy.

-[Mr. Teacher] That's Samir. -There you go. Attaboy.

-[Samir groans] -Dude, Jared's a dick, bro.

-I love you. -I love you, bro.

I don't know them either.

-[Anton] Oh, my God. I'm free. -[Paul] Bro.

Oh, it's Billie. Sammy, it's Billie

and the old guy she's in love with.

-[chuckles] -Billie.

[Samir] Ah, shit. I never read Gatsby.

Old guy. Billie, it's Paul. Sammy, it's Billie.

Make sure you tell them to hydrate before bed.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Bye, George. We'll miss you.

Yeah. You were a wonderful therapist, George.

The best.

And we really don't know what we'll do without you.

Yeah, um [clears throat]

And if you can hear us, um

I'm not, like, a bad person. Right?

No.

-Oh, my God. -What was that?

-Who That was insa-- -Did you hear that? Oh, my God.

-George? -George?

[scoffs] What the hell is going on?

-You have to ask one. -Okay, I'll ask one. Okay?

[gasps]

[exhales sharply] Will I die alone?

No.

-Oh, my God. -Oh, my God, this is crazy.

-Okay. [chuckles] You go. -Oh, my God.

[chuckles] Oh, my God. -Issa, you go.

Okay. Uh, should I ask for a raise at work?

-Yes. -[gasps] Oh, my God.

-You need that raise. -I need it.

-Oh, my God, I have goosebumps. -Okay, okay. I'll go. I'll go.

♪♪ It fucking hurts To be alive ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, the disposable fragility of life ♪♪

♪♪ Life, life, life ♪♪

♪♪ And my identity is My mother died ♪♪

♪♪ Anything to distract from Being straight and white ♪♪

♪♪ But I want to be the perfect mix ♪♪

♪♪ You want to fix ♪♪