All language subtitles for Adults.2025.S01E03.1080p.WEB.h264-GRACE_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:08,450 [police radio chatter] 2 00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:09,485 [Paul] I'm telling you, sir, I live right there. 3 00:00:09,519 --> 00:00:10,789 [officer] I need proof. 4 00:00:10,822 --> 00:00:11,456 I don't have any proof. I just moved in. 5 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:12,793 Hey, hey. 6 00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:13,828 -What's going on? Hi. -Oh, hey, baby. 7 00:00:13,861 --> 00:00:15,097 Okay, don't freak out, Iss, 8 00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:16,399 but there seems to have been 9 00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:17,703 a very light stabbing on our block. 10 00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:19,506 [gasps] 11 00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:22,178 Billie stabbed Samir over the hospital bill. 12 00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:24,115 -No. No. -What? 13 00:00:24,148 --> 00:00:25,585 -No? -[Anton] ...but that's sisters. 14 00:00:25,618 --> 00:00:26,854 Ultimately, that's sisters, you know. 15 00:00:26,887 --> 00:00:28,323 I mean, I don't have sisters, 16 00:00:28,356 --> 00:00:29,627 but I assume that's what they're like. 17 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:32,164 Oh, hi. How are you? 18 00:00:32,197 --> 00:00:33,834 Oh, my God, how does he know everyone? 19 00:00:34,803 --> 00:00:36,406 Oh. Hey, Kurt? 20 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,676 Kurt? 21 00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:38,778 Yeah, they're good. They're with me. 22 00:00:38,811 --> 00:00:40,114 You can let them in. 23 00:00:40,147 --> 00:00:41,383 Seriously? 24 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,687 And hang these up around the neighborhood. 25 00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:48,397 What? 26 00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:50,535 Oh, my God. 27 00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,405 You're kidding me. 28 00:00:52,438 --> 00:00:55,745 [Anton] ...bronchitis. I have a CPAP at home. 29 00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:57,549 How does he know everyone? 30 00:00:57,582 --> 00:00:58,818 [Anton laughs] When I think backless dress, 31 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,421 I really do think Doreen. 32 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:01,757 You should be wearing this more often. 33 00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:03,628 Anton. 34 00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,765 "Have you seen this man?" 35 00:01:05,798 --> 00:01:07,234 Oh. 36 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,138 Oh, him. 37 00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:10,642 Oh. 38 00:01:10,675 --> 00:01:13,447 Wow. Doreen? Doreen, you have to come see this. 39 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,450 This is crazy. I'm in a poster. 40 00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:18,558 Oh. It's not exciting. 41 00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:20,227 -Doreen? -Hmm? 42 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,731 [Anton] You're gonna want to see this, my love. 43 00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:23,266 ♪ ♪ 44 00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:24,268 ♪ Ooh ♪ 45 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,172 ♪ Yeah ♪ 46 00:01:26,205 --> 00:01:28,778 ♪ I need some bad advice ♪ 47 00:01:28,811 --> 00:01:31,684 ♪ Yeah, oh ♪ 48 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,422 ♪ We'll stay up tonight ♪ 49 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:37,228 ♪ We'll make it out alive ♪ 50 00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:39,533 ♪ Ooh, ooh, hoo! ♪ 51 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,171 Is this gonna take... way longer, or... 52 00:01:42,204 --> 00:01:44,375 -One more, one more second. -Okay. 53 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,413 [Billie] No, Samir, I'm not angry at you. 54 00:01:46,446 --> 00:01:48,518 Okay, but I get if you are. 55 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:50,320 Like, you trusted me, and my dumb ass 56 00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:52,358 got you into, like, 15 grand of medical debt. 57 00:01:52,391 --> 00:01:54,797 And is it the biggest number I've ever seen in my real life? 58 00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,266 Yes. But that's okay. 59 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:58,671 I have no job, I'm at rock bottom. 60 00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:01,342 Is that the end of the sentence? 61 00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,579 But I feel excited, you know? 62 00:02:02,612 --> 00:02:03,581 Like, for the first time in my life, 63 00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:04,583 there are no expectations. 64 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:06,453 I can do anything. 65 00:02:06,486 --> 00:02:08,423 I might buy a vape. We don't know. 66 00:02:08,456 --> 00:02:11,196 Okay. Well, I'm gonna get you the money. 67 00:02:11,229 --> 00:02:12,733 No, Samir, you're not gonna get me fift-- 68 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,770 Yeah, obviously. It's-- I have to. 69 00:02:14,803 --> 00:02:16,907 It's the least I could do. 70 00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:19,780 'Kay, we're starting. We're starting my thing, so... 71 00:02:19,813 --> 00:02:21,717 My thanks to Paul Baker for setting up AirPlay. 72 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,821 Your film studies minor was not in vain. 73 00:02:23,854 --> 00:02:26,292 -Thank you. Thank you, thank you. -'Kay, sit. 74 00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:27,829 -So sexy. -So, 75 00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:30,502 to start with your most pressing questions... 76 00:02:30,535 --> 00:02:33,574 yes, I met the Bayside Stabber. 77 00:02:33,607 --> 00:02:35,845 And yes, we had a really 78 00:02:35,878 --> 00:02:37,448 lovely conversation on the F train. 79 00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:38,718 And yeah, 80 00:02:38,751 --> 00:02:40,354 he sent me these texts afterwards, 81 00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:42,759 which are, frankly, so nice and non-stabby? 82 00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:43,961 So, let's just take a look. 83 00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,899 Um, okay. 84 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,504 Uh, okay. Oh, okay, okay. 85 00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:50,474 Who is "Brianna Acupuncture Student?" 86 00:02:50,508 --> 00:02:51,510 [Anton] Sorry, sorry. 87 00:02:51,543 --> 00:02:52,846 That's-that's-- 88 00:02:52,879 --> 00:02:54,315 That's not him. That's not him. 89 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,252 Who's "Leather Jacket Newsies Chorus?" 90 00:02:56,285 --> 00:02:58,390 I think it was further back. Oh, yeah. 91 00:02:58,423 --> 00:02:59,793 "Bobby backpack," what's the story there? 92 00:02:59,826 --> 00:03:00,862 [laughs] 93 00:03:00,895 --> 00:03:02,799 Look for, like, "train." 94 00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,435 When you don't respond to my texts, this, 95 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:05,905 seeing this, makes me feel a lot worse. 96 00:03:05,938 --> 00:03:07,308 We have a gorgeous dialogue over text. 97 00:03:07,341 --> 00:03:09,479 [Samir] I'm so far down in this. 98 00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:11,282 No, you're... 99 00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:13,386 [Paul] Oh, that's deep. 100 00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:14,890 -That's deep. D-- -[laughter] 101 00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:16,727 You're responding to "Ghostbusters Librarian," 102 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,396 and I don't get a text back. 103 00:03:18,429 --> 00:03:21,269 Oh, shit. I forgot to return the book. 104 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,240 Anton, the stabber. 105 00:03:23,273 --> 00:03:25,344 -Okay, now, this is the stabber. This is him. -Okay. 106 00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:27,414 "Anton, I miss you already. 107 00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:28,751 You are a light in this world." 108 00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,254 The stabber sent this to you? 109 00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:31,456 -[Anton] Yeah. -And what'd you say back? 110 00:03:31,489 --> 00:03:33,528 Just, like, nothing. 111 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:34,930 -Anton, move. Come on. -Anton, move. 112 00:03:34,963 --> 00:03:36,398 Sidestep, please. 113 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,504 Mm-hmm. 114 00:03:38,537 --> 00:03:40,340 [Paul] "I'm serious about 115 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,512 making paellas. This is the season of us." 116 00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:44,348 -Oh, my God. -Anton. 117 00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:45,384 -What? -[Issa] You are 118 00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,620 such a friend slut. 119 00:03:46,653 --> 00:03:48,858 -Okay, ow? -[Issa] No, seriously, 120 00:03:48,891 --> 00:03:51,396 you just have this thing where you have to make people 121 00:03:51,429 --> 00:03:52,866 feel like the most important person in the world... 122 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,736 -Mm-hmm. -...so they fall in love with you, 123 00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:55,972 and then you ultimately forget about them. 124 00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:58,009 That is not true, Issa. Okay? 125 00:03:58,042 --> 00:03:59,847 I treasure my people. 126 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,750 You have 400 unread text messages. 127 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,554 No, it's four thou-- It's 4,000, usually. 128 00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:05,725 Yeah, it's 4,000. It's just the zero gets cut off. 129 00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:07,428 -Anton. -[Billie] Seriously, Anton. 130 00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:09,600 You can't just soul-bond with every person you meet. 131 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,735 It's not normal. 132 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:11,971 Uh, why not? 133 00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:13,708 Uh, because some people stab people. 134 00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:15,645 -Yeah. -Okay, you guys are being dramatic. 135 00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:17,348 It's not like it's an ongoing conversation. 136 00:04:17,381 --> 00:04:18,350 -He's not following up with me. -[phone chimes] 137 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,452 [shouting] 138 00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:20,889 -What? -He just liked it. 139 00:04:20,922 --> 00:04:21,690 -What do you call that? -[Billie] He hearted it. 140 00:04:21,723 --> 00:04:23,460 Okay, so what? 141 00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:24,696 -He hearted a message. -[Samir] And now he's typing. 142 00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:26,366 -[shouting] -What? 143 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,602 -He's typing! He's typing! -[screams] 144 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:28,670 Block him! Block him! He's typing! 145 00:04:29,673 --> 00:04:31,710 Look. See? And it's gone. 146 00:04:31,743 --> 00:04:33,681 You guys, breathe, okay? 147 00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:36,452 Please, the text went away. It's all fine. 148 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,722 -I promise. -[phone rings] 149 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,793 -[screaming] -What now? What? 150 00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:41,062 He's calling you! 151 00:04:41,095 --> 00:04:42,699 -What? -He's calling you! 152 00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:43,768 -He's calling. -[Issa screaming] 153 00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:46,039 What is he doing? What-- What? 154 00:04:46,072 --> 00:04:47,576 [Issa] Oh, my God! 155 00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:48,678 [Anton] Oh... 156 00:04:48,711 --> 00:04:50,615 my God. You just missed the call 157 00:04:50,648 --> 00:04:51,917 and you cracked my screen. 158 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,085 Uh... 159 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:00,902 [automated voice] Your call has been 160 00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:02,004 forwarded to an-- 161 00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:04,341 ♪ ♪ 162 00:05:12,692 --> 00:05:14,461 Coat closet? 163 00:05:15,698 --> 00:05:17,067 Hey. 164 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,938 -Yo. -Where's everyone? 165 00:05:18,971 --> 00:05:21,577 Uh, I think they all went to the police station with Anton. 166 00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:24,048 Dude, crazy that he knows the stabber. 167 00:05:24,081 --> 00:05:25,450 Is he just always like that? 168 00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:27,087 Like, is he always just so friendly? 169 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,958 Yes, it's a problem. We think his parents took him 170 00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,795 to, like, too many dinner parties when he was a kid. 171 00:05:30,828 --> 00:05:31,963 [chuckles] Okay. 172 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,805 [door opens] 173 00:05:35,838 --> 00:05:37,542 -[Samir] Holy fuck! -What? 174 00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:39,045 [Samir] Oh. Oh... 175 00:05:39,078 --> 00:05:40,380 You okay? 176 00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:42,786 -I... -Yo! What the fuck? 177 00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:44,422 Has that been here the whole time? 178 00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:45,992 I don't know. I guess, I guess, I guess. 179 00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:47,529 What do you mean, "you guess"? 180 00:05:47,562 --> 00:05:48,965 I don't know, I guess. I don't know. 181 00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:50,434 This is not-- We're not like a gunny family. 182 00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:51,704 It looks pretty gunny to me, dude. 183 00:05:51,737 --> 00:05:52,973 No, I know-- You just moved in here. 184 00:05:53,006 --> 00:05:54,810 This is not the vibe of the house. 185 00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,714 Okay. I have actually never seen one in person before. 186 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,149 It makes me want to throw up. 187 00:05:58,182 --> 00:06:00,020 I'm gonna-- I'm gonna fucking throw it out. 188 00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:01,489 You can't throw it out, dude. What if the stabber gets it? 189 00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:03,561 No, dude, we have to, uh... 190 00:06:03,594 --> 00:06:04,896 Oh, we can take it to a buyback. Yeah. 191 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,600 -What's a buyback? -Like, at a gun store. 192 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,470 You can take the gun to a gun store 193 00:06:08,504 --> 00:06:10,406 and they will buy it back from you for like a chunk of cash. 194 00:06:12,177 --> 00:06:13,680 We can go together if you want. 195 00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:15,952 -Okay. -Yeah? 196 00:06:15,985 --> 00:06:17,121 -Okay. Yeah, sweet. -Okay, great. 197 00:06:17,154 --> 00:06:18,691 -Oh. Sorry, sorry. -Jesus. 198 00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,862 [siren wailing] 199 00:06:20,895 --> 00:06:22,131 [loud chatter] 200 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,868 [Issa] Defund the police 201 00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,507 and all, but they, like, need to zhuzh this place up. 202 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,176 It's so depressing. 203 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,979 [phone buzzes] 204 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,792 Wait, what the hell? 205 00:06:35,825 --> 00:06:37,896 [laughs] 206 00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:42,104 Oh, my God. Jailbait. Who are you? 207 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:44,108 No, I know, but I told you. 208 00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:46,580 I'm-I'm trying to explore a little. 209 00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:47,716 -[gasps] -Like, okay, 210 00:06:47,749 --> 00:06:49,753 I am done with the version of me 211 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,189 who asks boring guys to choke me 212 00:06:51,222 --> 00:06:52,625 and then says, "What? Just kidding." 213 00:06:52,658 --> 00:06:56,032 Like, I want to live my 20s a little. 214 00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:58,036 -Is that crazy? -No. 215 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,606 You've arrived. 216 00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:02,144 I'm so happy. I couldn't agree more. 217 00:07:02,177 --> 00:07:04,148 Seriously, like, you're between jobs. 218 00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:05,918 This is your time to start fucking 219 00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:07,922 like your grandchildren will hear about it one day. 220 00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:10,027 -Okay. Mindwipe. -Yeah? 221 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:12,197 I do want my grandchildren to think of me sexually. 222 00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:13,634 Gone from my brain. 223 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,137 -Never heard it. -Thank you. 224 00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:17,174 Give me your phone. Okay. 225 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,778 I'm gonna put you on Feeld. 226 00:07:18,811 --> 00:07:21,082 This was amazing for my whore phase. 227 00:07:21,115 --> 00:07:22,151 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 228 00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:23,654 Before I met Paul Baker, 229 00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:24,790 this is how I met that Brazilian couple. 230 00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:26,794 -Oh, Lucas and Sophia. -Yeah. 231 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:28,063 So hot. 232 00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:30,033 And, oh, my God, uh, Joe with the leash. 233 00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:31,069 Joe with the leash? 234 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,639 I know, but don't. 235 00:07:32,672 --> 00:07:34,543 He never walks you. 236 00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,212 -Hi. Um, so, apparently... -Hi. 237 00:07:36,245 --> 00:07:37,682 ...they want me to give a statement. 238 00:07:37,715 --> 00:07:38,951 What? Really? 239 00:07:38,984 --> 00:07:41,657 [groans] Why must I become embroiled? 240 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:43,594 Because you are a friend slut. 241 00:07:43,627 --> 00:07:44,963 Because you're a big slutty friend slut 242 00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:46,232 who needs everyone to be obsessed with you. 243 00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,504 That's not true. I don't need you guys 244 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,173 -to be obsessed with me. -That's 'cause you know we're obsessed with you. 245 00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,643 And whose fault is that? 246 00:07:51,676 --> 00:07:53,581 -[laughs] -[officer] Mr. Evans? 247 00:07:53,614 --> 00:07:54,950 -We're ready for you. -Oh, my God. 248 00:07:54,983 --> 00:07:56,653 Okay, earrings. Yes! 249 00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:58,557 Oh, thanks. 250 00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:00,093 -I made them myself. -[Anton] What? 251 00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:02,097 Wow. You and I are gonna go to Shark Tank, girl. 252 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,068 Mark Cuban's suddenly in, we're in tears. 253 00:08:04,101 --> 00:08:05,972 I took this class at the Y... 254 00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:08,543 [whispers] Friend slut. 255 00:08:09,378 --> 00:08:10,882 -Oh, sorry. Which way, baby? -Get back here. Come on. 256 00:08:10,915 --> 00:08:12,217 [gasps] Ooh. 257 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,721 How do you feel about firemen? 258 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,123 -[inhales] -Oh, no, sorry. There's a comma. 259 00:08:15,156 --> 00:08:17,996 How do you feel about fire and also men? 260 00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:19,131 Yeah. 261 00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:20,167 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 262 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,235 [entry bell jingles] 263 00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:23,874 -I can't. No. -Yes, we can. 264 00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:25,545 -I can't. -We can. We got this. 265 00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:27,114 We can't do anything. We look like 266 00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:28,751 we're fucking J. Crew Columbine. I don't want this shit. 267 00:08:28,784 --> 00:08:30,822 All right. No, we can. Just let me talk. 268 00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:32,291 -I'll handle this, all right? -Okay. Okay. 269 00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,963 I'll... I'll chill in the fucking grenade aisle. 270 00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:36,699 Okay, yeah. [clears throat] 271 00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:39,873 Hey, bud. Hi. 272 00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:41,844 How are you? Name's Paul Baker. 273 00:08:41,877 --> 00:08:43,313 It's nice to meet you. Look, my buddy over there, 274 00:08:43,346 --> 00:08:45,852 my buddy with the flag? That's him. 275 00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:47,589 He's going through it right now. 276 00:08:47,622 --> 00:08:50,293 He found his dad's shotgun in the old coat closet. 277 00:08:50,326 --> 00:08:52,765 Problem is, he's not a... [imitates gunshots] 278 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,603 ...007 man like yourself. 279 00:08:54,636 --> 00:08:56,038 So we're just trying to figure out 280 00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:58,577 a way to, uh, sell this bad boy back to you. 281 00:08:58,610 --> 00:08:59,913 You know, aka a little buyback. 282 00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:02,050 I'm sure you're familiar, you know? 283 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,888 So what do you say about that one, huh, big guy? 284 00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:05,858 C-Could you help us out with that? 285 00:09:07,327 --> 00:09:10,266 Why are you talking to me like I'm retarded? 286 00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:14,609 Oh... no, I wasn't. No. 287 00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:17,181 The... We actually don't use that word anymore. 288 00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:19,285 Like, at all, sir. I-- 289 00:09:19,318 --> 00:09:21,924 The cast of Glee kind of ended that through the power of song, 290 00:09:21,957 --> 00:09:23,828 -so... -What, "retarded"? 291 00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:26,032 -[groans] -My sister's retarded. 292 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,737 -Do you got a sister who's-- -Just give me one... sec... 293 00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:32,044 Hey, dude, uh, we can't do this. Uh, we got to go. 294 00:09:32,077 --> 00:09:33,614 -What do you mean? -Okay, I don't know. 295 00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:34,616 Dude, that's never happened to me before. 296 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:35,918 I think that went, like... 297 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,321 -What happened? -...bad. I don't know. 298 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:39,191 Okay, well, I'm not leaving the gun store 299 00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:40,895 with a gun. We're gonna look insane. No. 300 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,197 I can't sell it to this man. I don't, I don't know... 301 00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:44,235 Paul Baker, you're a charming-ass man. 302 00:09:44,268 --> 00:09:45,938 -Hmm. -And I didn't want to say this before, 303 00:09:45,971 --> 00:09:49,245 but I need this money for Billie. 304 00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:50,915 For her medical bills? 305 00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,217 Yeah. 306 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,721 Fuck. Okay. 307 00:09:53,754 --> 00:09:55,691 Oh, shit. Okay. 308 00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:56,860 -Okay? We got this. -Yeah. Totally. 309 00:09:56,893 --> 00:09:59,398 We got this. You and me. All right. 310 00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:01,102 Oh, you're just gonna... 311 00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:02,303 I'm just gonna hang out here. 312 00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,208 Okay. 313 00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:06,345 Hey, brother. My man. 314 00:10:06,378 --> 00:10:08,383 Uh, I feel like I condescended towards you before, 315 00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:09,953 and for that, I am very sorry. 316 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,355 I don't know what that was. 317 00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:13,226 Might be a Canadian thing. But 318 00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:14,796 if we could just start over, 319 00:10:14,829 --> 00:10:15,998 I'm just trying to sell this gun back. 320 00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:17,367 [laughs] I don't know what that was. 321 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,204 What's with the nail polish? 322 00:10:20,273 --> 00:10:21,809 You a fruitcake or something? 323 00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:24,849 Am I a frui-- 324 00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:29,124 No. 325 00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:30,260 No, I am not a fruitcake. 326 00:10:30,293 --> 00:10:32,732 No, that is-- Um, no. 327 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,736 Huh. 'Cause I was gonna say, 328 00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,005 if you were a little fruity, 329 00:10:36,038 --> 00:10:38,944 I'd get your number and buy your gun. 330 00:10:39,979 --> 00:10:41,148 Oh. 331 00:10:41,181 --> 00:10:42,284 You-- Oh, 332 00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:44,421 you're... fr-- Okay, yeah. 333 00:10:44,454 --> 00:10:46,225 I am fruity. I don't-- Yeah. I... 334 00:10:46,258 --> 00:10:48,096 I personally don't usually describe it like that. 335 00:10:48,129 --> 00:10:49,966 I usually say, like, "fluid" mostly, 336 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,269 but I, yeah, I am a fruitcake. 337 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,906 -You lying to me right now? -No, sir. 338 00:10:52,939 --> 00:10:54,843 -You queerbaiting me? -"Queerbaiting"? 339 00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:57,147 No, what is the spectrum of your language? 340 00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:58,717 No, I-- Hey, Samir. 341 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,821 Samir, tell this guy, I sleep with men. 342 00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,159 I... 343 00:11:03,192 --> 00:11:05,130 [scoffs] This guy? No. 344 00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,769 This guy? If anything, he's homophobic. 345 00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,271 No, I'm not. I'm not homophobic. 346 00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:11,409 I heard you before, I was, like, "Fruity what?" 347 00:11:11,442 --> 00:11:13,146 'Cause I don't-- We don't-- 348 00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:14,983 Get the hell out of my store. 349 00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:16,719 Yes, sir. 350 00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:19,024 He sleeps with men. He does it all. 351 00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:27,609 [Paul] It's done, it's done. It's over. 352 00:11:27,609 --> 00:11:30,115 So at this point, you and the suspect exited the train 353 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,052 and made dinner plans? Is that right? 354 00:11:32,085 --> 00:11:34,090 Yeah, that's right. 355 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:36,260 And not just one dinner, but, uh, quote, 356 00:11:36,293 --> 00:11:39,935 "Weekly dinners every Sunday. 357 00:11:39,968 --> 00:11:41,538 "No literally, every Sunday. 358 00:11:41,571 --> 00:11:43,074 "I don't care if it's Christmas, 359 00:11:43,107 --> 00:11:46,180 we are getting dinner that Sunday." 360 00:11:46,213 --> 00:11:48,184 Yeah. That's correct. 361 00:11:48,217 --> 00:11:49,453 [detective 2] And then you exchanged numbers 362 00:11:49,486 --> 00:11:51,057 and asked, quote, 363 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:54,063 "Can white people and Black people be twins? 364 00:11:54,096 --> 00:11:58,037 Someone call NASA. I feel like we're literally twins." 365 00:11:59,507 --> 00:12:01,411 Yeah, and what, uh, what's the question? 366 00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:03,481 Is it normal for you to act this way 367 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,485 towards complete strangers? 368 00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:08,024 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 369 00:12:08,057 --> 00:12:10,228 Okay, I see where you could get confused there. 370 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:11,965 So, um, let me explain. 371 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,236 So, I feel like for the average person in society, 372 00:12:14,269 --> 00:12:16,207 they sort of need to turn on 373 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,811 and off. Right? 374 00:12:17,844 --> 00:12:19,948 Like, on... and then 375 00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,952 they're off. And I have 376 00:12:21,985 --> 00:12:24,156 this fun little thing where I, um, 377 00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:25,860 I don't have that problem. 378 00:12:25,893 --> 00:12:27,496 No. So I can 379 00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:29,433 really make a deep, 380 00:12:29,466 --> 00:12:32,172 close, beautiful bond with anyone, really. 381 00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,375 All walks of life. 382 00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:35,012 Yeah. 383 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,414 Which some people might call a "friend slut," 384 00:12:36,447 --> 00:12:40,455 but I actually call just being a delight. 385 00:12:40,488 --> 00:12:42,192 So... 386 00:12:42,225 --> 00:12:44,196 But that's-that's me. 387 00:12:44,229 --> 00:12:46,134 Tell me about yourselves, please. 388 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,506 -[sighs] Uh-huh. -[detective 1] Okay, so 389 00:12:48,539 --> 00:12:50,510 you feel close to this man? 390 00:12:50,543 --> 00:12:52,012 W-Which? 391 00:12:52,045 --> 00:12:54,183 -The perpetrator. -Oh, yes. Oh, my God. 392 00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:56,387 You should have said that. 100%. Yeah. 393 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:59,393 You have a-a "deep, intimate connection" with this man? 394 00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:01,865 Yeah, very much so. Definitely. 395 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:03,902 Good. 396 00:13:05,573 --> 00:13:07,076 -Bring 'em in. -Hmm? 397 00:13:07,109 --> 00:13:08,879 Who? Yes, bring 'em in. 398 00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:10,916 Get in here. [laughs] 399 00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:15,560 Who are these men? 400 00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:17,462 Which one's the perpetrator? 401 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:21,871 -Hmm? Uh-- out of, out of these? -Mm-hmm. 402 00:13:23,441 --> 00:13:25,011 [Anton] It's just... 403 00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:29,186 hard when they all look so similar. 404 00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:31,156 ♪ ♪ 405 00:13:33,929 --> 00:13:36,167 [Issa] Ooh, what about Davis? 406 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,340 He's into foot stuff, bondage, piss play. 407 00:13:39,373 --> 00:13:42,178 -Oh, and he's close to his twin. -Aww. 408 00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:45,451 Okay, very close. 409 00:13:46,387 --> 00:13:48,926 -Oh, you like that? Oh, my God! -[both gasp] 410 00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:50,195 It's a connection. 411 00:13:50,228 --> 00:13:51,598 Okay, can you win Feeld? 412 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,401 Yeah, you can. It's the Space Mountain picture. 413 00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:54,671 Yeah, I know, my boobs are just, like, up. 414 00:13:54,704 --> 00:13:56,441 -Up, yeah, I know. Yeah. -[doorbell rings] 415 00:13:56,474 --> 00:13:58,244 Hmm. 416 00:13:58,277 --> 00:14:00,482 Seriously, one of the guys on here is going to give you 417 00:14:00,516 --> 00:14:02,587 such an insane dick-down, 418 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,524 you won't even remember 419 00:14:04,557 --> 00:14:07,095 that you're sad, jobless and in debt. Hmm? 420 00:14:08,231 --> 00:14:09,935 -[door opens] -Hi. 421 00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:12,206 [Ethan] Hey. I'm Anton's friend. Is he home? 422 00:14:12,239 --> 00:14:14,009 [Issa] Um, no, but he should be home any minute. 423 00:14:14,042 --> 00:14:15,445 -Do you want to come wait inside? -[door closes] 424 00:14:18,384 --> 00:14:19,955 [whispers] Wait. Put your phone down. It's happening. 425 00:14:19,988 --> 00:14:21,224 What is? 426 00:14:21,257 --> 00:14:22,225 -You're gonna fuck this man. -What? 427 00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:25,465 Wow. 428 00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:28,939 -I know. -[inhales] 429 00:14:28,972 --> 00:14:30,375 You know, your mailbox is really full. 430 00:14:30,408 --> 00:14:31,945 -Oh. [laughs] -Yeah. 431 00:14:31,978 --> 00:14:32,981 Yeah, we're kind of, like, saving that 432 00:14:33,014 --> 00:14:34,483 for, like, a weekend project, 433 00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:35,919 -so... -Cool. 434 00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:39,126 -[whispers] He's so hot. -I know. 435 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,495 -You literally manifested... -Yeah, I... 436 00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,032 Um, c-- do you want to come sit down? 437 00:14:42,065 --> 00:14:44,269 -Uh, sure. -Please, come on. 438 00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:47,376 -Ooh, wow. So strong. -[Ethan chuckles] 439 00:14:47,409 --> 00:14:48,979 [sighs] So... 440 00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,550 Hi. Billie. 441 00:14:50,583 --> 00:14:52,252 Ethan. 442 00:14:52,285 --> 00:14:53,388 So, how do you know Anton? 443 00:14:53,421 --> 00:14:55,593 Oh, uh... 444 00:14:55,626 --> 00:14:58,064 He's my best friend in the world. 445 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,035 [blows raspberry] Yeah. Isn't he everybody's? 446 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,538 [mouths] 447 00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:03,141 -Um... -Uh... 448 00:15:03,174 --> 00:15:04,644 Wine? 449 00:15:04,677 --> 00:15:06,982 -Sure. -[both laugh] 450 00:15:07,015 --> 00:15:08,519 [Issa] You know, I want you to feel at home, 451 00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:10,121 I want you to relax. 452 00:15:10,154 --> 00:15:11,692 We also have some weed, as well as some PCP 453 00:15:11,725 --> 00:15:13,662 that we've been saving for a very special night. 454 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,600 No, I did it once, I had the most productive night 455 00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:17,737 of my life. Oh, my God, hey. 456 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:19,574 -Oh, wait, hi, sweetie. -[sighs] Hi. 457 00:15:19,607 --> 00:15:20,743 Ugh. Hi. 458 00:15:20,776 --> 00:15:22,279 Anton. 459 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:23,682 Have we-- I'm so sorry, have we met? 460 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,087 Anton, it's Ethan. 461 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,456 I-I don't-- 462 00:15:27,489 --> 00:15:29,026 Your friend Ethan? 463 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:31,430 [Issa] Oh, my God. He does this. 464 00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,201 -[ringing] -[fading] Okay, he makes friends with everyone, 465 00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:35,272 but now it's become this whole thing. 466 00:15:35,305 --> 00:15:37,610 -Anton? -[clears throat] 467 00:15:37,643 --> 00:15:40,015 Is everything okay? 468 00:15:40,048 --> 00:15:43,120 Sorry. Just have to use the restroom. 469 00:15:43,889 --> 00:15:46,294 Okay, he has a very small bladder. 470 00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:49,033 [indistinct chatter] 471 00:15:49,066 --> 00:15:50,570 -Absolutely ginormous. -Wow. -Yeah. 472 00:15:50,603 --> 00:15:52,239 -Um, so... -Wait, so, where are you from? 473 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:54,075 ♪ ♪ 474 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,585 ♪ ♪ 475 00:16:00,288 --> 00:16:01,725 [whispers] Oh, fuck, fuck. 476 00:16:01,758 --> 00:16:03,629 -You ask, you ask. -I did the last one. No. 477 00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,465 -Please. -Nope. 478 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,269 Hi, do you guys want to purchase a shotgun? 479 00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:08,438 -Shotgun? -No way. 480 00:16:08,471 --> 00:16:09,608 [Russian accent] My friend. 481 00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:11,712 -Big gun, good price. -Crazy. 482 00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:14,183 Don't tell, don't tell the guy in there about us. 483 00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:16,087 -[phone buzzes] -What's up? 484 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,357 -[regular accent] Anton wants us to bring home gum. -Mm. 485 00:16:19,393 --> 00:16:21,130 Look, I-- yeah, I got some. 486 00:16:21,163 --> 00:16:23,702 Okay, sick, that would've been, like, a whole thing. 487 00:16:26,273 --> 00:16:28,144 -Miss, shotgun? -[screams] 488 00:16:28,177 --> 00:16:30,181 -Whoa, whoa. Ah. -Sorry. 489 00:16:35,251 --> 00:16:38,032 Tight, tight, tight jacket and oh, my God. 490 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,135 -Billie, look at these arms. -Wow, I love your tattoo. 491 00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:41,738 I was literally thinking about getting one. 492 00:16:41,771 --> 00:16:43,074 Did it hurt? 493 00:16:43,107 --> 00:16:44,276 I don't know. 494 00:16:44,309 --> 00:16:46,080 -I don't really feel pain. -[gasps] 495 00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:48,350 -Wow. -Wait, that's so real. 496 00:16:50,221 --> 00:16:52,426 [whispering] Hey, Billie. Billie. 497 00:16:52,459 --> 00:16:54,496 -Hey, Bill... -[both mouthing] 498 00:17:01,143 --> 00:17:02,279 [softly] Yeah, yeah. 499 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:03,515 [choking sounds] 500 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,504 -Anton? -Yeah, mm-hmm? Mm-hmm? 501 00:17:14,537 --> 00:17:15,672 Are you still making me paella? 502 00:17:16,675 --> 00:17:18,646 -Duh. -[laughter] 503 00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:20,248 What? 504 00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:21,852 Um, can I talk to you guys for a second? 505 00:17:21,885 --> 00:17:23,555 Yeah, you two. Would be great. Yeah. 506 00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:24,691 Let me steal you away. 507 00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:26,160 -Come with me. -Right now? 508 00:17:26,193 --> 00:17:27,462 -Yep, right now! [laughs] -Okay, okay. 509 00:17:27,495 --> 00:17:28,699 [Anton laughs] 510 00:17:28,732 --> 00:17:30,636 Right now, girls. 511 00:17:30,669 --> 00:17:32,339 [Issa] We're gonna be right back, so... 512 00:17:32,372 --> 00:17:33,742 [Anton] Follow me. 513 00:17:35,813 --> 00:17:38,151 -Stop it, stop, stop. Stop. -[Anton] In the car. In the car. 514 00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:40,388 -Oh, my God. No, he is so hot. -He's perfect. 515 00:17:40,421 --> 00:17:41,658 -His eyes are like... -Go. Get in the car. 516 00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:42,827 -Get in the car. -Oh, my God! 517 00:17:42,860 --> 00:17:44,363 -Jesus Christ, Anton. -Fuck. 518 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,133 -Okay. -[Billie] Okay. God. 519 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,271 -He's so hot. -I know. 520 00:17:48,304 --> 00:17:49,574 -Oh, my God. -Anton, what are you doing? 521 00:17:49,607 --> 00:17:50,743 Billie is trying to fuck that guy. 522 00:17:50,776 --> 00:17:52,279 Believe me, okay, she's not. 523 00:17:52,312 --> 00:17:53,849 -Okay, no listen... -No... -Hi, um, 524 00:17:53,882 --> 00:17:55,553 we're at 80-03 Forest Street. 525 00:17:55,586 --> 00:17:57,422 Um, the Bayside Stabber is sitting on my couch. 526 00:17:57,455 --> 00:17:58,726 What are you talking ab... 527 00:17:58,759 --> 00:18:00,529 -[indistinct voice over phone] -Uh-huh. 528 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:01,531 [dispatcher] Sir, how did they get into your house? 529 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,802 -Oh, oh, my God. -What? 530 00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:05,271 I may have let him follow me on Find My Friends, 531 00:18:05,304 --> 00:18:06,875 and for that I am so deeply sorry. 532 00:18:06,908 --> 00:18:09,313 -You have a problem, Anton! -Okay, you might be right. 533 00:18:09,346 --> 00:18:10,816 No, not you. No, please. 534 00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:12,553 No, I feel a connection with you. Already, yep. 535 00:18:12,586 --> 00:18:13,922 Oh, my God! 536 00:18:13,955 --> 00:18:15,191 Why are you like this? 537 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,394 [door opens] 538 00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:18,866 -Anton. -[both scream] 539 00:18:18,899 --> 00:18:20,836 No, no, no, no. He's coming, he's coming towards us. 540 00:18:20,869 --> 00:18:22,674 -Oh, my God. -He's coming towards us, he's coming... 541 00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:25,813 It's Sunday, man. We doing dinner or what? 542 00:18:25,846 --> 00:18:27,717 -Tell him to leave, Anton. -[Issa] Seriously, he's a stabber. 543 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,254 -You can let him hate you. -Okay, okay, yeah. 544 00:18:31,691 --> 00:18:32,860 Are you guys heading out? 545 00:18:32,893 --> 00:18:33,896 [Issa quietly] Yes, yes. 546 00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,432 I'll come with. 547 00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:37,202 -Yeah, totally. Hop in. -[Ethan] Okay. 548 00:18:37,235 --> 00:18:38,672 -I'll go around back. -What the fuck? Lock the door. 549 00:18:38,705 --> 00:18:40,408 Well, he's getting in the car now, so... 550 00:18:40,441 --> 00:18:43,347 [crying] I don't want him to get in the car. 551 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:44,651 [Issa] Come on, please. 552 00:18:44,684 --> 00:18:46,353 [Ethan] Hey, can you pop the trunk? 553 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,559 -I've got this bag. -Hey, he's not your friend. 554 00:18:48,592 --> 00:18:50,563 You can tell him he's not your friend. 555 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,499 -I obviously can't do that, Issa! -Yes, you can. 556 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,938 I believe in you. We believe in you, don't we? 557 00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:57,409 Tell him. Tell him, Anton. 558 00:18:57,442 --> 00:18:58,645 Tell... 559 00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:00,382 Anton? 560 00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:02,653 -Anton. -Anton, what are you doing? 561 00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:03,789 [Issa] Do not run over this man, Anton. 562 00:19:03,822 --> 00:19:05,826 Do not run over this man. 563 00:19:05,859 --> 00:19:07,530 Anton, no, no, don't-- 564 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:08,866 do not run over this man! 565 00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,936 -[all screaming] -[crunching] 566 00:19:13,508 --> 00:19:17,249 What did you do? 567 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,919 Are you crazy? 568 00:19:18,952 --> 00:19:20,990 Something in me is broken. 569 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:22,994 I just need to be everything for everyone, 570 00:19:23,027 --> 00:19:25,331 and now I just killed a man! 571 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,937 [muffled crying] 572 00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:30,810 I'm so tired, I'm so tired, I'm so fucking tired. 573 00:19:30,843 --> 00:19:32,613 Oh, my-- I am so... 574 00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:34,283 -Why am-- -What the fuck, dude? 575 00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:36,353 -[screaming] -Oh, my fucking God! 576 00:19:36,386 --> 00:19:38,692 Okay, fucking do it. Just do it. 577 00:19:38,725 --> 00:19:40,763 [clears throat] 578 00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:43,669 Hey. Um... [exhales] 579 00:19:43,702 --> 00:19:45,673 I... 580 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:48,410 I don't want to be friends with you. 581 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,218 I'm really sorry. 582 00:19:54,657 --> 00:19:56,694 You could've just said that. 583 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,767 Totally. 584 00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:04,511 -[Issa] Oh, my God. -[Billie] The police. 585 00:20:04,544 --> 00:20:05,813 -[Anton] Go, go, go. -Hey! Officer! 586 00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:06,948 -He's over there! -That's him, Officer. 587 00:20:06,981 --> 00:20:08,552 [Billie] He's standing over there. 588 00:20:08,585 --> 00:20:09,721 -I'm so sorry. -[indistinct radio chatter] 589 00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:10,790 What's going on? 590 00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:12,627 Unbelievably sorry about that. 591 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,029 -[Billie] He ran into the alley. -[Issa] Come on. 592 00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:15,365 -There's a man there. -[officer] We got visual 593 00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:16,535 on the Bayside Stabber. 594 00:20:16,568 --> 00:20:17,937 -In pursuit. -Chase him hard! 595 00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:19,841 -He doesn't feel pain. -[Paul] Wait, what? 596 00:20:19,874 --> 00:20:21,611 That's the Stabber? 597 00:20:21,644 --> 00:20:23,749 -Yeah. -I know. And Billie almost fucked him. 598 00:20:23,782 --> 00:20:25,753 But it was too much too fast. 599 00:20:25,786 --> 00:20:27,055 -Yeah, way too much. -Yeah. 600 00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:28,592 Fucking a stabber is, like, a nine. 601 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:29,961 You want to start at, like, a six. 602 00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:31,531 Yeah, a six or a five. 603 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,501 -[Issa] Ooh, a five, yeah. -Yeah. 604 00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:34,970 Give me your phone. 605 00:20:35,906 --> 00:20:37,475 Give it. 606 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,918 Okay. Ready? 607 00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:43,956 Red Shirt Tall Guy. 608 00:20:43,989 --> 00:20:45,793 -Delete. -Mm. 609 00:20:45,826 --> 00:20:48,364 -Michelle Elevator. -[both] Delete. 610 00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:49,801 Goodbye, Michelle. 611 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,638 -Scarf Guy, Kind Eyes. -[Billie] Bye. 612 00:20:51,671 --> 00:20:53,509 -No, keep. Keep. Kind. He's kind. -[Issa] No. No. 613 00:20:53,542 --> 00:20:55,613 -That doesn't mean anything. Delete. -No. 614 00:20:55,646 --> 00:20:57,082 [Issa] Joe with the Lea-- oh, my God, you know Joe with the Leash? 615 00:20:57,115 --> 00:20:58,785 [Anton] Yeah, but he never walks you. 616 00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:01,323 [Issa] Oh! That is correct. Delete. 617 00:21:01,356 --> 00:21:03,529 -Okay. -[Billie] Wait, so what happened with you guys? 618 00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:04,931 [Issa] Oh, yeah, what did happen to you guys? 619 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,500 -[Paul] Oh... -[Samir] It's like a... 620 00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:08,839 -Don't even worry about it. -[laughter] 621 00:21:08,872 --> 00:21:11,010 [Issa] Okay, Flight Attendant Straight? 622 00:21:11,043 --> 00:21:13,481 Delete. Why would you keep a straight man? 623 00:21:13,515 --> 00:21:14,651 [Anton groans] No, dude, he's hot. 624 00:21:14,684 --> 00:21:16,420 -[Issa] Ok-- too bad. -"Dude"? 625 00:21:16,453 --> 00:21:17,790 -[Issa] Man? -[Anton] I suddenly, 626 00:21:17,823 --> 00:21:19,594 I almost get stabbed and I become a bro? 627 00:21:19,627 --> 00:21:21,397 [Billie] That can happen after traumatic incidents. 628 00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:23,769 -[laughter] -[Paul] Oh, Anton, I got your gum. 629 00:21:23,802 --> 00:21:25,438 ♪ Yeah, I was inside ♪ 630 00:21:25,471 --> 00:21:27,777 ♪ Yeah, a Saturday night at home ♪ 631 00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:32,787 ♪ And on the TV they never play no rock and roll ♪ 632 00:21:32,820 --> 00:21:37,530 ♪ I got tired just gettin' up on my feet that day ♪ 633 00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:41,136 ♪ I had to rock and roll a joint and have a green day ♪ 634 00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:44,076 -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah, I was inside ♪ 635 00:21:44,109 --> 00:21:46,714 ♪ Yeah, a Saturday night at home ♪ 636 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:52,425 ♪ And on the TV they never play no rock and roll ♪ 637 00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:57,469 ♪ I got tired just gettin' up on my feet that day ♪ 638 00:21:57,502 --> 00:22:01,443 ♪ I had to rock and roll a joint and have a green day. ♪ 639 00:22:04,817 --> 00:22:06,854 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 640 00:22:08,858 --> 00:22:20,882 [man] Ha-ha. Good at bizness. 45529

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