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1
00:00:00,211 --> 00:00:03,212
[MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY]
All chanting "Do it"]
2
00:00:04,359 --> 00:00:07,230
- Should we do it?
- Let's do it!
3
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,855
Let's do it!
4
00:00:08,866 --> 00:00:10,775
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
5
00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:12,049
BOTH: Yeah!
6
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:14,661
Oh, yeah!
7
00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:16,701
Yeah!
8
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,122
Oh!
9
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,200
- Huh.
- Whoa!
10
00:00:21,211 --> 00:00:23,011
Who-a-a-a!
11
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,155
[CHUCKLING] Y-e-eah!
12
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,200
- Whoa! Oh!
- Oh!
13
00:00:27,211 --> 00:00:31,713
[BOTH SHOUTING]
14
00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:35,721
♪♪
15
00:00:35,732 --> 00:00:37,665
Oh!
16
00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:39,031
Whoo!
17
00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,004
Oh! Yeah!
18
00:00:42,006 --> 00:00:43,172
Yeah!
19
00:00:43,174 --> 00:00:45,315
- [ALL CHEERING]
- [MUSIC ENDS]
20
00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:46,775
We made a drink!
21
00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:48,177
- Yeah!
- MAN: Excuse me.
22
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,878
Excuse me! Hey!
23
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,615
Uh... can I get a drink here or what.
24
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:55,717
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
25
00:00:55,719 --> 00:00:58,920
[MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY]
26
00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:00,022
ABBI: Here you go.
27
00:01:00,024 --> 00:01:01,614
Happy birthday, Craig.
28
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,224
Retirement. Thanks.
29
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:05,727
[CHUCKLES]
30
00:01:05,738 --> 00:01:06,761
Whoops!
31
00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:08,863
[MUSIC RESUMES]
32
00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:10,765
Ooh!
33
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:13,268
♪ Four and three and two
and one... one ♪
34
00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:15,435
♪♪
35
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,763
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
36
00:01:17,774 --> 00:01:20,808
LESLEY: Your ankle is the
size of a grapefruit.
37
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,877
How did you not realize it was sprained?
38
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:24,379
I mean, by that point in the night,
39
00:01:24,381 --> 00:01:26,481
I wasn't feeling much
[CHUCKLING] of anything.
40
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,749
I learned that tequila is an upper...
41
00:01:28,751 --> 00:01:30,851
I feel like it was, like, psychological,
42
00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:32,587
like the Gazebo effect.
43
00:01:32,589 --> 00:01:34,388
Placebo effect?
44
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,324
Yeah. Yeah.
45
00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:39,393
I thought that you said
you were working.
46
00:01:39,395 --> 00:01:42,062
It was just, like, a
really lame catering gig,
47
00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:43,530
so we were, like, trying
to make the most of it.
48
00:01:43,532 --> 00:01:44,931
Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,766
Thank you so much
for coming over, Lesley.
50
00:01:46,768 --> 00:01:48,968
You're the best girlfriend...
51
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,938
Whoa, girlfriend?
52
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,971
- Yeah. I mean, or partner. I like...
- You...
53
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,767
- I like "girlfriend."
- You know, this...
54
00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:58,978
I think this actually brings up
an interesting point.
55
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,081
"Partner." Yeah. "Partner"
is more lesbian.
56
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:04,084
- No, no. Abb... Please don't... Abbi.
- I... I... Like, I know this now.
57
00:02:04,086 --> 00:02:06,253
I actually think that...
58
00:02:06,255 --> 00:02:09,456
that we should stop doing...
59
00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:11,657
this.
60
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:13,126
Wait, okay. Okay.
61
00:02:13,128 --> 00:02:15,561
Is this about the...
the "placebo" thing...
62
00:02:15,563 --> 00:02:20,209
No, Abbi, it's... It's a
lot bigger than that.
63
00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:24,137
♪♪
64
00:02:24,139 --> 00:02:26,239
[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]
65
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:27,640
♪ The mail, the mail ♪
66
00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:28,875
♪ The mail ♪
67
00:02:28,877 --> 00:02:32,612
[CLATTERING] ♪ The mail ♪
68
00:02:32,614 --> 00:02:34,480
Whoa, Yale.
69
00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:35,782
Too Kavanaugh.
70
00:02:35,784 --> 00:02:37,917
Cornell? [LAUGHS] You wish.
71
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,518
Dartmouth. Too goyish.
72
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:40,686
[GASPS]
73
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,989
Okay!!
74
00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:44,523
Here it is!
75
00:02:44,525 --> 00:02:46,692
Hunter freaking College, bish.
76
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,655
And...
77
00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:49,695
[GASPS]
78
00:02:49,697 --> 00:02:52,498
[SCREAMS, LAUGHS]
79
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,301
I'm in, Hunter College. I'm freaking in!
80
00:02:55,303 --> 00:02:56,469
Master's, bitch.
81
00:02:56,471 --> 00:02:58,971
Doctorate, bitch. MD, bitch.
82
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,973
Well, Master's.
83
00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,931
- [HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]
- Whoo! Grad student.
84
00:03:02,942 --> 00:03:04,877
[LAUGHS]
85
00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:09,482
Acceptance letter, mm!
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
86
00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:10,820
Whoo!
87
00:03:11,653 --> 00:03:14,587
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
88
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:22,024
♪♪
89
00:03:24,531 --> 00:03:25,846
Hello.
90
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,455
Can I help you?
91
00:03:29,536 --> 00:03:32,870
I hear you offer student discounts.
92
00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:34,839
So, we can't give you a student discount
93
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,410
if you don't have a student ID,
and this isn't a student ID.
94
00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:41,813
Okay, but this says that I will be
a student in like three months.
95
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,014
Oh, three months?
96
00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:45,850
Oh, that's almost as long as we've
been having this conversation.
97
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,386
Okay, Zahm Zena. Do we have a beef?
98
00:03:48,388 --> 00:03:49,921
Oh, my God, miss?
99
00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:52,723
- Okay. Jesus. I'm leaving.
- Oh, no, you're not.
100
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:55,459
Your hair. It's perfect.
101
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,662
The curls are so plump yet so light.
102
00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:00,631
[LAUGHS] Moi?
103
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,566
Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
104
00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:04,019
I know this is crazy,
105
00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:06,888
but would you consider modeling for us?
106
00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:09,606
Stop. Okay, stop. Is this
some sort of perverted prank?
107
00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:11,375
Are you in on this... 'Cause you've
been a bitch the whole time?
108
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:14,044
I know this is last-minute,
but we're doing a shoot tonight.
109
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,938
[GASPS]
110
00:04:16,949 --> 00:04:18,549
You know what? I think that'll be good.
111
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,917
Perfection... Just like your curls.
112
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:23,721
See you back here at 6:00
and be camera ready.
113
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,156
Okay, 6:00 P.M., camera ready.
114
00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:29,117
Oh, my God, did you see that?
That was amazing.
115
00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:30,675
I'm on a call right now. I can't talk.
116
00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:32,753
Okay, something seems
very locked up inside of you,
117
00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:36,166
so when you decide to change your
life with therapy, give me a call.
118
00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:38,168
♪♪
119
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,635
I don't understand.
120
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:42,805
Like, Lesley, I-I like you so much.
121
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,875
We're just not on the same page.
122
00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,142
I'm a doctor.
123
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:49,296
I do jiu-jitsu and have hobbies.
And you...
124
00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,975
You just don't really feel
like an adult yet.
125
00:04:51,986 --> 00:04:54,584
And I'm sure your life is fun,
126
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:58,588
but it's really just kind of
a series of wild shenanigans.
127
00:04:59,912 --> 00:05:00,956
Wow.
128
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,491
Shenanigans?
129
00:05:02,493 --> 00:05:06,962
You're 20s are for...
wild "shenanigans."
130
00:05:06,964 --> 00:05:08,370
But aren't you 30?
131
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,600
Wow, wow. You're fucking nuts, Lesley!
132
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,202
- What?!
- Yeah. Yeah, you're nuts.
133
00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:16,538
I'm just saying that you need
to grow up a little bit.
134
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,274
Mm. Okay. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.
135
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,510
You know what... I write
thank-you notes all the time.
136
00:05:21,512 --> 00:05:23,178
And my phone screen isn't even cracked.
137
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,106
And guess what, Lesley?
I'm going to a play today.
138
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,102
- I'm going to a matinée.
- Yeah, with Ilana's parents,
139
00:05:27,113 --> 00:05:28,724
who, I'm assuming, paid for the tickets.
140
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,652
Actually, you know what, Lesley?
I think that we're done.
141
00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:32,521
I think that you should
get out of my house.
142
00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:34,956
Finally on the same page
about something.
143
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:42,063
You know what? Why don't you take
your ugly-ass hat back, too.
144
00:05:42,065 --> 00:05:43,864
Fine. I will.
145
00:05:43,866 --> 00:05:47,468
[SCOFFS] Of course it looks cute on you.
Whatever. God!
146
00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:50,004
- [GLASS CRACKING]
- Oh, shit!
147
00:05:50,006 --> 00:05:52,573
Great. Well, thanks a lot. Now I
do have a crack in my screen,
148
00:05:52,575 --> 00:05:56,044
- thanks to your stupid boot.
- Oh, did the wig not protect it?
149
00:05:56,046 --> 00:05:57,745
[DOOR SLAMS]
150
00:05:57,747 --> 00:05:59,780
[GRUNTS] It didn't.
151
00:05:59,782 --> 00:06:03,351
♪♪
152
00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:07,270
DevaCurl?! Oh, my freakin' God, Ilana!
153
00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:09,957
- I know. I know!
- You're gonna be a model.
154
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,225
I literally could not
have done this without you guys.
155
00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:14,100
[GASPS] Also, I got
into grad school today.
156
00:06:14,111 --> 00:06:15,563
What? That's fantastic.
157
00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:18,398
DevaCurl! Ah! Oh! I'm
coming to the shoot.
158
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,076
Of course you're coming.
You're my number-one curl inspo.
159
00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:23,671
[SIGHING] DevaCurl. Ah.
160
00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:25,339
- DevaCurl!
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
161
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,175
Devacu-u-u-u...
162
00:06:28,177 --> 00:06:29,610
[SCREAMING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE]
163
00:06:29,612 --> 00:06:32,913
[SCREAMING FADES]
164
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:34,381
uuuuuuuur...
165
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,586
[SNIFFS]
166
00:06:38,588 --> 00:06:41,888
[CHUCKLES] LOL, NYC.
167
00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,397
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
- Yeah. That is adult.
168
00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:48,710
Whoo! She got the plaid slacks.
She got the pink sweater.
169
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,445
She got the tortoise-shell clip, bish.
170
00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:52,588
- Yass! I love it!
- Oh, my gosh. Hold on.
171
00:06:52,599 --> 00:06:54,199
Is this a grad student?
172
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,076
- Oh, well, mm... Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Mm!
173
00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:58,586
- Yes!
- I'm so proud of you, dude.
174
00:06:58,588 --> 00:07:00,060
- Congrats!
- [SQUEALS] Thank you!
175
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,639
And you must be my sexy professor.
176
00:07:02,650 --> 00:07:04,983
- [CHUCKLES]
- Wow, Lesley is a true monster
177
00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:07,395
if she can break up with you
looking like this.
178
00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:09,906
Yeah, well... she said
I'm not "adult" enough
179
00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:11,384
- for her, so...
- Oh!
180
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,262
I didn't realize she was
a fucking heinous bitch.
181
00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:16,145
She smells like fucking shit.
182
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:18,880
- She doesn't smell like shit.
- Always hated her... never liked her.
183
00:07:18,891 --> 00:07:20,875
Listen, it's fine, because
I have been flooding
184
00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:23,610
my Instagram account
with adult-ass pics all day
185
00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:25,579
so she can see what
she's missing out on.
186
00:07:25,581 --> 00:07:28,081
Wow. I love it. Hence The New Yorker.
187
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,213
Hence The New Yorker, indeed.
188
00:07:30,224 --> 00:07:32,285
Whatever. Enough about Lesley, okay?
189
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,463
Okay, so, um... I am scared
190
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,122
that my brother is leaving the city.
191
00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,924
You know, I-I know that
he's obviously going
192
00:07:37,926 --> 00:07:39,853
to be the perfect Jewish-Canadian VJ...
193
00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:42,606
I'm sorry. Is your eye okay?
194
00:07:42,617 --> 00:07:45,200
I'm just going for, like, a
structured architectural brow today.
195
00:07:45,211 --> 00:07:47,814
No, no. Like, it's red. It
looks really irritated.
196
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,836
Yeah, I got this, like,
AC drop in my eye before.
197
00:07:49,838 --> 00:07:52,739
It was just, like, air conditioning
pre-cum... like Ninja Turtle juice.
198
00:07:52,741 --> 00:07:54,307
It's fine.
199
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:55,711
Is it, though? [STAMMERS]
200
00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:58,577
Yeah, I'll just flush it out
when I cry at the play later.
201
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,047
[GASPS] O-o-oh!
202
00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:03,749
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God!
203
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,096
I didn't tell you the best news of all.
204
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:11,057
Lordy, lordy... ♪ 'Cause Janet be 40 ♪
205
00:08:11,059 --> 00:08:14,760
Yep, yep, yep, yep! Whoo-whoo!
206
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,363
- What?
- Girl, I got scouted...
207
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:20,033
to model... for Devachan.
208
00:08:20,035 --> 00:08:21,951
Okay? Whoo!
209
00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:23,703
- This is the Vision Board.
- That's it.
210
00:08:23,714 --> 00:08:24,828
- Yes!
- Yes!
211
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:27,006
[BOTH LAUGH]
212
00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:32,311
♪♪
213
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:34,613
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
214
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,616
- [HORN BLARES IN DISTANCE]
- Oh, here she is!
215
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:41,807
My star... my DevaCurl star.
216
00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:43,738
No, we had a wild night.
217
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:47,025
Eliot, your sister
is a DevaCurl hair model!
218
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,744
I mean, this is really, very exciting
219
00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:50,729
- about the modeling, but, please...
- [CELLPHONE SHUTTER CLICKING]
220
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,298
let us not forget
this is Eliot's special day.
221
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,501
[VOICE BREAKING] It is
bon voyage to New York.
222
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,035
My favorite neighborhood, no less...
223
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,019
- the Theater District.
- [HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]
224
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,006
Would it kill you to put a
smile on your pretty face?
225
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,476
You have a simply spectacular smile...
226
00:09:03,478 --> 00:09:05,844
- my sweet baby.
- Hey, hey, hey, lady.
227
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,180
You want a picture with my daughter?
She's a very famous hair model.
228
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,949
Can we just go inside, please?
229
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,017
Yeah, you know, we got
to cash in on this, El.
230
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:17,054
I mean, one of those whats-their-faces
is worth, like, a billion dollars.
231
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:21,192
ILANA: You know, you really should
be putting weight on the good foot.
232
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,227
Yeah, but it's... I wanted the heel,
233
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,029
so it just, like, works.
234
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,665
Look at how fast you're going. Good job.
235
00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,301
Hey, girls.
236
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,371
- Hungry?
- [BOTH LAUGH]
237
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,572
She's a professional.
238
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:39,534
♪♪
239
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:50,301
♪♪
240
00:09:52,136 --> 00:09:54,761
Someone's making a dank Instagram story.
241
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,960
Yes, it's a story about a grown
242
00:09:56,962 --> 00:09:59,630
[VICTORIAN ENGLISH ACCENT]
woman at the theater.
243
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,065
[VICTORIAN ENGLISH ACCENT] Theater, yes.
244
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,167
It's starting. Damn it.
245
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,735
♪♪
246
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,846
MAN: I'm so sick of this attic!
247
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:11,275
Walk it off, Anne Frank!
248
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,776
Shh!
249
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,912
♪♪
250
00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:17,237
[APPLAUSE]
251
00:10:17,248 --> 00:10:19,040
ANNOUNCER: Please enjoy
a brief intermission.
252
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,903
[VOICE BREAKING] Wow. [INHALES SHARPLY]
253
00:10:20,914 --> 00:10:22,313
They're gonna win that Tony.
254
00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:27,857
Oh, my God. Dude... Does your eye stink?
255
00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,125
[SQUELCH]
256
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,493
[SNIFFS] Hoo!
257
00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:32,662
Yeah, it stinks. What's going...
258
00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,664
Holy shit! Ilana...
259
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,313
[SNIFFS] It smells like prosciutt.
260
00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:38,421
You cannot go to the
DevaCurl shoot like this.
261
00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:40,002
You got to go to a doctor right away
262
00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:42,363
and get this cleared up,
for the family honor!
263
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,265
Doctor? I don't have a "doctor" "here."
264
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,680
Wait, you don't have a doctor here?
265
00:10:45,691 --> 00:10:47,761
No one in the city does.
That's why it's a cesspool.
266
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,849
All right, it's an emergency!
Go to the emergency room.
267
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,346
- Go to St. Vincent's.
- It's condos.
268
00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:52,880
- All right, so Cabrini!
- Also condos.
269
00:10:52,891 --> 00:10:54,784
How 'bout that what's-his-name
doctor on Houston St.?
270
00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:56,218
It's not condos, but it's a Whole Foods.
271
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:59,354
- Again, why do you love this city?
- [COUGHS] You got to get an ambulance.
272
00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:01,148
You... You smell like a dog's ass.
273
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,803
- What'd you say?
- A dog's ass.
274
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:04,794
Dog's ass... That's it?
275
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,201
- What?
- Mwah!
276
00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:08,497
Okay, I know who can cure me.
I got this.
277
00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,032
Oh, I hope so.
278
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,468
♪ Uh ♪ Oh, God.
279
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:16,105
Save me! Come on.
280
00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:21,388
♪♪
281
00:11:21,928 --> 00:11:24,228
Hey, can you drive me downtown
and just weave
282
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:25,530
in and out of traffic very fast?
283
00:11:25,532 --> 00:11:27,299
Listen, I'm not a pedicab driver.
284
00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,200
I'm a real estate broker. Read the sign.
285
00:11:29,202 --> 00:11:31,068
Okay, then why do you have a pedicab?
286
00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:32,837
It's the fastest way to get clients
287
00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,872
to apartments for multiple viewing.
288
00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:37,342
You know, I think I-I know you.
289
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,076
- Are you a cop?
- No.
290
00:11:39,078 --> 00:11:42,180
But you showed my friend and
I an apartment years ago,
291
00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:43,782
a bunch of shitty apartment.
292
00:11:43,784 --> 00:11:46,250
I mean, they were
all literal crime scenes.
293
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,420
Oh, yeah, crime scene homes
are my speciality.
294
00:11:48,422 --> 00:11:51,873
You know, I got an ex that works
in the NYPD. He hooks me up.
295
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,758
I just give him a hand job
once and a while.
296
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,928
Okay, since we have a history
can I please get a ride?
297
00:11:55,939 --> 00:11:57,594
This is a modeling emergency.
298
00:11:57,596 --> 00:11:59,864
Look, I've been pedaling
my butt off all day.
299
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,098
I mean, look at my feet.
300
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,567
Oh, Jesus Christ.
301
00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:05,536
Wait a minute. Flex that thigh.
302
00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:07,138
Whoopsie!
303
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,639
I can see your short and curlies.
304
00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:10,007
[LAUGHS] Let's go!
305
00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:11,175
[GRUNTS]
306
00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:12,376
- [BELL DINGS]
- Damn.
307
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:13,945
There you go. You got it.
308
00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,047
You should see your ass from back here.
309
00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:19,217
It's amazing. It looks like a big heart.
310
00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,286
- Thank you, Pam... Move! Scram!
- Oh, let's go!
311
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,055
We have a medical emergency!
312
00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:26,157
- Look out for the baby... the baby!
- Get out of the way!
313
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:27,257
[SCREAMS]
314
00:12:27,259 --> 00:12:30,126
[CLATTERING]
315
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:33,129
- Well, well, well, Lesley.
- [CELLPHONE SHUTTER CLICKING]
316
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:35,598
One of these babies could've been yours.
317
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,600
[SMACKS LIPS] Shit.
318
00:12:37,602 --> 00:12:39,736
Lighting is terrible in here.
319
00:12:39,738 --> 00:12:43,073
Gotta find another light... source.
320
00:12:43,075 --> 00:12:46,910
[INDISTINCT TALKING IN DISTANCE]
321
00:12:46,912 --> 00:12:48,611
[GROANS]
322
00:12:48,613 --> 00:12:53,149
[MUSIC PLAYS IN DISTANCE]
323
00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:55,051
Yes! Daylight.
324
00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:56,353
[GRUNTS]
325
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,754
Here we go.
326
00:12:57,756 --> 00:13:00,323
Lesley's not gonna know what hit her.
327
00:13:00,325 --> 00:13:02,359
[CELLPHONE SHUTTER CLICKS] [SCREAMS]
328
00:13:02,361 --> 00:13:04,694
[GROANS, SCREAMS]
329
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,796
[PANTING]
330
00:13:06,798 --> 00:13:09,432
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
331
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:11,976
Shenanigans. [SIGHS]
332
00:13:13,119 --> 00:13:14,485
[GROANS] Oh, sh...
333
00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:15,719
Okay.
334
00:13:15,721 --> 00:13:18,222
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
335
00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:19,857
Oh, my God. Yes.
336
00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:23,194
Ah! Yes!
337
00:13:23,196 --> 00:13:24,395
Ow!
338
00:13:24,397 --> 00:13:26,497
Hello? Somebody?
339
00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,865
H-Hello?
340
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,168
Abbi? It's Lesley.
341
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:35,472
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Hey. Lesley.
342
00:13:35,474 --> 00:13:37,174
[LAUGHS]
343
00:13:37,176 --> 00:13:39,776
What's up... girl?
344
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:43,180
♪♪
345
00:13:43,182 --> 00:13:44,648
[DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE]
346
00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:48,151
Okay, I'm sorry. I have to
go before you. I'm a model.
347
00:13:48,153 --> 00:13:49,553
[SIGHS]
348
00:13:49,555 --> 00:13:52,789
- The doctor's with a patient!
- Yeah, I'm a model.
349
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,124
S-Stop!
350
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,026
Doctor... Ohh! Sorry.
351
00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:58,562
Ilana, I told you...
352
00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:01,717
I can not spay-neuter a human,
and it is not reversible.
353
00:14:01,728 --> 00:14:04,501
No, I-I Googled that...
you were right about it.
354
00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:06,102
[INHALES SHARPLY] I'm here about this.
355
00:14:06,104 --> 00:14:07,537
♪♪
356
00:14:07,539 --> 00:14:10,339
- Ugh. Okay.
- [DOG WHINES]
357
00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:12,875
That looks bad. Have a seat.
358
00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:14,711
- Okay, good girl. Good girl.
- [DOG WHIMPERS]
359
00:14:14,713 --> 00:14:16,278
[GROANING] Good... Good girl!
360
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,949
Well, I actually wanted
to apologize to you.
361
00:14:19,951 --> 00:14:21,383
For before.
362
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,319
[PANTING] Oh, yeah, yeah.
363
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,855
Oh, did you see my Instagram? [CHUCKLES]
364
00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:29,025
- What?
- Never mind. Wh-Wh-What's up?
365
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:35,589
Look, the truth is,
I'm really set in my ways,
366
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,701
and maybe I'm self-sabotaging
this whole things
367
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,370
because I have a lot of fun with you...
368
00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:42,972
shenanigans and all.
369
00:14:42,974 --> 00:14:45,274
I mean, who am I to
judge the way you live?
370
00:14:45,276 --> 00:14:47,243
You know, you're...
you're figuring it out.
371
00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:51,079
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Wow. Well, thanks...
372
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:52,548
I mean, thank you for saying that.
373
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,717
I... [SIGHS]
374
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:57,085
You really hurt my feelings
this morning.
375
00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:59,855
I know, and I'm so sorry.
376
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:03,726
Do you think there's any way
that we can try this again?
377
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,728
You mean, like, get back together?
378
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,264
Yes. I'd really like
to keep seeing you, Abbi.
379
00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:09,698
I think you're great.
380
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,433
Well, I think you're great, too.
381
00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:15,837
I mean, [GRUNTS] what are you, uh...
382
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,908
What are you doing tonight?
383
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,577
Well, I think I may have a date
384
00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:26,581
with my very adult,
very sexy artist girlfriend.
385
00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:29,785
Yeah. I mean, I'm down to...
386
00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,419
hang.
387
00:15:31,421 --> 00:15:35,133
Um, before we lock in any logistics...
388
00:15:35,144 --> 00:15:37,993
I've, u-um...
389
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,561
gotten myself in
a little bit of trouble.
390
00:15:40,563 --> 00:15:42,530
[LAUGHS]
391
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,834
But, uh, I do need...
I do need you to call 9-1-1.
392
00:15:45,836 --> 00:15:47,669
- What?
- And then you know what?
393
00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:51,439
You pick dinner. It's totally on you.
I'm cool with whatever.
394
00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:53,675
Jesus Christ, Abbi.
395
00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:56,477
You know, I've gotten New
York City water droplets
396
00:15:56,479 --> 00:15:58,446
in my mouth before, and I was fine.
397
00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:01,182
I did have bloody stool
for a week or two,
398
00:16:01,184 --> 00:16:03,083
but that's pretty typical
for me in the summer.
399
00:16:03,085 --> 00:16:05,123
Well, this is conjunctivitis.
400
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,209
- No!
- Yes.
401
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,723
You cannot get any closer
than this to anyone.
402
00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:10,491
Please! I have a photoshoot tonight.
403
00:16:10,493 --> 00:16:11,968
What if I'm paired with a curly-haired,
404
00:16:11,979 --> 00:16:13,661
non-binary model, and it's a love scene?
405
00:16:13,663 --> 00:16:15,196
- And a little bit of a pinch.
- Mm!
406
00:16:15,198 --> 00:16:16,831
One, two, three.
407
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,790
- Okay.
- Hey! Thank you. [INHALES SHARPLY]
408
00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,401
Okay, so this is gonna clear up my eye
409
00:16:20,403 --> 00:16:21,922
and make me "gorgus" for the evening.
410
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,986
No, that's your third
round of Hep B shots.
411
00:16:24,997 --> 00:16:26,914
You have another one
scheduled for next month..
412
00:16:26,925 --> 00:16:28,706
- Okay.
- I'm gonna write you a prescription.
413
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:31,946
And this is gonna clear your
eye up in about two weeks.
414
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:34,849
Two fuggin' weeks?! No, no, no!
415
00:16:34,851 --> 00:16:36,984
Look, honey, I'm a model now,
416
00:16:36,986 --> 00:16:39,019
and this here is my money maker.
417
00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:40,687
Don't you have something
quicker, like...
418
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,190
bovine growth hormone that
Madonna shoves up her crack?
419
00:16:43,192 --> 00:16:45,625
I need something that
will clear me up tonight.
420
00:16:45,627 --> 00:16:47,394
- There is one option.
- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
421
00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:48,996
- LOUIS: Work those curls, Mama.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
422
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:51,065
Nasty little duet. Yeah!
423
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,733
Kinky, kinky.
424
00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,269
Give me a... realness. Volume, volume.
425
00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:58,538
Yes. Work it, Mama.
Yeah, Shirley Temple.
426
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,807
Now lose the glasses, baby.
427
00:17:00,809 --> 00:17:03,276
♪♪
428
00:17:03,278 --> 00:17:04,744
Uh... Cut the music!
429
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:07,413
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- What's with the patch? What is this?
430
00:17:07,415 --> 00:17:09,462
Today I'm serving, um...
431
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:11,251
"Kill Bill" realness.
432
00:17:11,253 --> 00:17:13,386
Yeah, more like Bob Costas realness.
433
00:17:13,388 --> 00:17:15,154
Lose the patch.
434
00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:18,091
You don't want to see what's under here.
435
00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:20,760
- Well, then the shoot's over.
- Whoa, whoa. What's the problem?
436
00:17:20,762 --> 00:17:22,061
Uh, and who are you?
437
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:24,764
- I'm the manager/mother.
- Stop it.
438
00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:28,501
You're curls make your daughter's
curls look like trash.
439
00:17:28,503 --> 00:17:32,071
The rare triple helix...
the Holy Grail of curls.
440
00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:33,539
You must sleep sitting up.
441
00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:35,707
Of course I do, I'm not an animal.
442
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:38,210
This is really last minute,
but we're totally in a bind.
443
00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:41,268
You could save the day.
444
00:17:41,882 --> 00:17:44,016
♪ You better work ♪
445
00:17:44,018 --> 00:17:47,119
Whoo! You own everything.
446
00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:50,655
Louis Vuitton, CHANEL.
447
00:17:50,657 --> 00:17:55,027
All right... Yaas! Slay Curl Kween!
448
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,462
[VOICE BREAKING] For the family honor.
449
00:17:57,464 --> 00:17:59,131
[ABBI SIGHS]
450
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:01,466
"The cast is electric"?
451
00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:03,349
What an idiot.
452
00:18:05,272 --> 00:18:06,438
[SIGHS]
453
00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:12,310
Huh.
454
00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:14,446
[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]
455
00:18:17,584 --> 00:18:19,484
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
456
00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:21,319
- ♪ Daa ♪
- Wow.
457
00:18:21,321 --> 00:18:23,020
♪ Daa daa Doo ♪
458
00:18:23,022 --> 00:18:26,157
♪ Daa daa daa Doo, doo ♪
459
00:18:26,159 --> 00:18:28,927
♪ Daa daa ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
460
00:18:28,929 --> 00:18:33,064
♪ Daa, daa-daa-daa-daa ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
461
00:18:33,066 --> 00:18:34,532
♪ Daa ♪
♪ Doo, doo ♪
462
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,334
♪ Daa daa ♪
♪ Doo ♪
463
00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:39,637
♪ Daa, daa-daa-daa-daa ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
464
00:18:39,639 --> 00:18:42,340
♪ Daa daa-daa ♪
♪ Doo, doo ♪
465
00:18:42,342 --> 00:18:43,774
♪ Doo ♪
466
00:18:43,776 --> 00:18:46,377
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
467
00:18:46,379 --> 00:18:47,511
♪ Daa Doo, doo ♪
468
00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:52,116
♪ I would love to ♪
469
00:18:52,159 --> 00:18:54,159
♪ Scream ♪
470
00:18:54,899 --> 00:18:59,626
Okay, so this psycho dumped you
a second time in one day
471
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:02,170
while you're hanging
between two buildings,
472
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,306
two stories above concrete?
473
00:19:04,308 --> 00:19:06,308
- This bitch is a menace.
- Right?
474
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:09,554
But then there was, like, this
fire woman that was rescuing me.
475
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,232
She was, like, carrying me down,
and I was, like...
476
00:19:14,648 --> 00:19:16,484
"Who are you?" Like, she was hot.
477
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:19,021
- Yas.
- It's cool that I can see that now.
478
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:23,025
I mean, the female form...
God's hottest creation.
479
00:19:23,027 --> 00:19:24,731
Oh, yeah... "Made in Her image."
480
00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:27,662
- Hmm?
- It's a Catholic thing.
481
00:19:27,664 --> 00:19:30,198
Man, I'm just so bummed
my modeling career
482
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,533
is over before it started.
483
00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:34,836
But my mom was incredible.
484
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:36,271
- Wow.
- She slayed.
485
00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:39,207
I got to show you. Oh, my God.
She posted all about it.
486
00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:40,642
Who's that? Huh?
487
00:19:40,644 --> 00:19:42,144
Aww. Eliot.
488
00:19:42,146 --> 00:19:43,644
[INHALES SHARPLY, EXHALES]
489
00:19:43,646 --> 00:19:46,780
God, everybody's moving away, huh?
490
00:19:46,782 --> 00:19:49,417
But not the most important one.
491
00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:51,419
[SMOOCHES] The most important person...
492
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,087
[SMOOCHES]... of my life.
493
00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:55,056
[SMOOCHES] I'd give everybody else up.
494
00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:56,357
[SMOOCHES, SMACKS LIPS]
495
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:57,825
Yeah.
496
00:19:57,836 --> 00:19:59,893
Show me... Why don't you
show me pictures of your mom,
497
00:19:59,895 --> 00:20:01,329
- 'cause I didn't see it.
- Yeah, I didn't even give it to ya.
498
00:20:01,331 --> 00:20:02,496
Here.
499
00:20:02,498 --> 00:20:04,498
Holy shit.
500
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,566
Wow.
501
00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:07,068
I'm like, "Go, girl!"
502
00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,503
Slay, girl. Work it, girl.
503
00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:11,672
"Covergirl! Slay, Mama!"
504
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:12,906
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl!
505
00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:14,675
- Be the curl.
- BOTH: Covergirl!
506
00:20:14,677 --> 00:20:16,777
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl.
507
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,611
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl!
508
00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:19,679
Devachan.
509
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,349
- Covergirl!
- Ow! Dude!
510
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,984
- Ooh. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Ow!
511
00:20:23,986 --> 00:20:25,016
[GROANS]
512
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:28,542
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
36619
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