Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,516 --> 00:00:03,033
[SNORES LOUDLY]
2
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:11,066
[HORN HONK IN DISTANCE]
3
00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:12,722
[WHEEZES]
4
00:00:12,957 --> 00:00:13,977
Hey.
5
00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:15,607
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
6
00:00:15,608 --> 00:00:17,469
H...
7
00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:20,504
Were you... Were you watching me sleep?
8
00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,883
No, I was watching you try to breathe.
9
00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:25,676
I think you have
a... a badly deviated septum.
10
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,055
But it's a damn cute deviated septum.
11
00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:29,814
Aw, thank you.
12
00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,469
I got you something.
13
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,538
Okay.
14
00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:36,055
What is it?
15
00:00:36,056 --> 00:00:37,814
Open it.
16
00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:40,469
Wow.
17
00:00:40,470 --> 00:00:42,849
Ah, it's a... it's a little yellow hat.
18
00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:44,469
Try it on.
19
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,642
Oh, I-I'd love to try it on.
20
00:00:47,643 --> 00:00:50,711
Ah.
21
00:00:50,712 --> 00:00:53,021
I love this.
22
00:00:53,022 --> 00:00:54,302
Really?
23
00:00:54,313 --> 00:00:56,642
Yes. Perfect.
24
00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:59,366
[STAMMERS] I mean, do you think it fits?
25
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,607
Definitely. Does it feel loose?
26
00:01:00,608 --> 00:01:01,918
I don't know what it is.
27
00:01:01,919 --> 00:01:03,573
Well, you can always put a bobby pin in
28
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:06,883
to keep it in place,
like they do with the, um...
29
00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:08,435
Yarmulkes? Yes.
30
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,262
Wait.
31
00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:11,918
Why do you know that word?
32
00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:13,435
I'm... I'm Jewish.
33
00:01:13,436 --> 00:01:16,021
[SNORTS]
34
00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:17,573
[LAUGHING] Okay.
35
00:01:17,574 --> 00:01:20,055
No. I'm... I'm 100% Jewish.
36
00:01:20,056 --> 00:01:21,918
Well, you are funny.
37
00:01:21,919 --> 00:01:23,780
[LAUGHS] Well...
38
00:01:23,781 --> 00:01:25,262
[LAUGHS WEAKLY]
39
00:01:25,263 --> 00:01:27,745
♪ Four and three and two
and one... one ♪
40
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:29,953
♪♪
41
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,252
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
42
00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:34,366
[CHIMING]ILANA: Mommy!
43
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,297
My Genes&Me results came!
44
00:01:36,298 --> 00:01:38,228
Okay, I am...
45
00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:40,780
[GASPS] 100% Ashkenazi Jew.
46
00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:42,466
Yeah, no shit. Ever seen a mirror?
47
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,814
Wow. Okay. We have history of anxiety.
48
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,573
BOTH: Check. Poor eyesight.
49
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,469
- Check.
- IBS.
50
00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:51,262
Yeah, well... Tay-Sachs disease.
51
00:01:51,263 --> 00:01:53,140
- Cystic fibrosis. Fragile X syndrome.
- Uh-huh.
52
00:01:53,151 --> 00:01:55,124
Holy shit. Let me tell
you something, honey.
53
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,676
I could've told you all of that
without your selling
54
00:01:57,677 --> 00:01:59,538
your medical history to the government.
55
00:01:59,539 --> 00:02:01,814
What... What do you mean?
56
00:02:01,815 --> 00:02:05,504
Google owns your DNA,
you naive little bitch!
57
00:02:05,505 --> 00:02:07,469
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
58
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,780
Well, I'm gonna write all about this
59
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,297
for my grad school personal essay.
60
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,538
"Endophenotypes: The Genetic Inheritance
61
00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:15,676
- "of Mental Disorders."
- Yikes!
62
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,331
Okay, what else does this have
to teach me abo...
63
00:02:19,332 --> 00:02:21,124
[GASP SOFTLY]
64
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,331
Oh, my God.
65
00:02:22,332 --> 00:02:24,814
Oh, my God!!
66
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,574
- Abbi.
- What? [CHUCKLES]
67
00:02:26,575 --> 00:02:28,366
Well, I just found out
68
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,873
that I have the richest history
a millennial Jew can have.
69
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:34,573
I'm related...
♪ to a Holocaust survivor ♪
70
00:02:34,574 --> 00:02:36,124
Yah!
71
00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:38,607
["HAVA NAGILA" PLAYS]
72
00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:43,262
♪♪
73
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,504
Hey!
74
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,849
Dude, this is incredible.
75
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:47,538
There's so few left.
There's, like, none.
76
00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,021
I know, and I'm 16th cousins
77
00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:51,849
- with one who lives in Manhattan!
- Whoa.
78
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,883
- We have to go right the fuck now.
- Okay.
79
00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,366
Dope, because I know that I can learn
80
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,849
so much about my history or whatever,
81
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,366
but also about our shared
mental illness. Shwing!
82
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,193
Maybe I should get my DNA tested.
83
00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:03,504
I could be related to a
Holocaust survivor, too.
84
00:03:03,505 --> 00:03:04,711
Who, a guard?
85
00:03:04,712 --> 00:03:06,228
Come on, Ilana.
86
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,656
I don't mean a full-on Nazi.
87
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,853
I mean like a Polish soldier
who looked the other way.
88
00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:11,504
I am Jewish.
89
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,987
Yeah, emphasis on the "ish."
Come on. Let's go.
90
00:03:13,988 --> 00:03:16,159
So what are we doing, the Q or the F?
91
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,573
Fuck!
92
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,987
What da hat?
93
00:03:18,988 --> 00:03:20,538
Oh, this? Lesley got it for me.
94
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,504
She saw it and thought of me.
95
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,745
It's cute, right? I'm
just giving it a go.
96
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,883
We'll see.
97
00:03:25,894 --> 00:03:28,055
Brave.
98
00:03:28,056 --> 00:03:31,400
[INHALES DEEPLY]
99
00:03:31,401 --> 00:03:34,849
♪♪
100
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:38,400
Yeah, so she was just, like, out
and saw it in a store
101
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,849
and... and thought of me.
102
00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:42,538
And...
103
00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:44,262
we think she likes you, right?
104
00:03:44,263 --> 00:03:46,159
Yeah. [CHUCKLING] Yeah, I mean...
105
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,262
I think she really likes me.
106
00:03:48,263 --> 00:03:50,883
I'm... I... I really like her, too.
107
00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:53,918
So, you're a hat girl now?
108
00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,159
I mean... I mean, maybe.
109
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,400
Is that, um... a problem?
110
00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:02,642
I'm just... I'm surprised.
111
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,711
You know, you've...
you've never expressed
112
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,090
any interest in hats.
113
00:04:06,091 --> 00:04:08,159
I watch your eyes when we walk,
when we talk.
114
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,331
You've never even looked at a hat.
115
00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:13,814
Well, I mean, I guess I never
really considered them.
116
00:04:13,815 --> 00:04:16,193
Right. But Lesley bought it for me,
117
00:04:16,194 --> 00:04:18,607
- so I'm I'm gonna give it a try.
- One last thing...
118
00:04:18,608 --> 00:04:21,538
Do you think you're gonna be a hat
person for the rest of your life?
119
00:04:21,539 --> 00:04:23,849
I don't know.
120
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,676
Are we talking about hats?
121
00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,401
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
We're talking about hats.
122
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:32,952
- Hi.
- Hi.
123
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,435
We are here to visit
my very dear, sweet,
124
00:04:35,436 --> 00:04:39,055
and close 16th cousin Saul Borowitz.
125
00:04:39,056 --> 00:04:42,297
Oh, fantastic. He'll be so
happy to have visitors.
126
00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:43,952
Can I have your licenses?
127
00:04:43,953 --> 00:04:46,469
And you'll get your licenses
back when you leave.
128
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:47,745
Great.
129
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,573
You can take him to the commissary,
130
00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,673
or any of the communal areas
on the third floor.
131
00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:54,676
- Thank you.
- He's in Room 11B.
132
00:04:54,677 --> 00:04:56,124
- Thank you.
- Thanks so much.
133
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,780
- Do not leave the third floor.
- [SOFTLY] Okay.
134
00:04:58,781 --> 00:05:00,814
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
135
00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:02,298
Dope.
136
00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:07,988
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
137
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,331
Maybe he's hard of hearing.
138
00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:14,825
[POUNDS ON DOOR]
139
00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:18,469
Should we just try to go in?
140
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,229
Let me try something first.
141
00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:22,987
[HANDLE RATTLES]
142
00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:24,124
[GASPS]
143
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,642
Looks like I'm the magician
144
00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:27,883
even though you're the one
wearing that hat.
145
00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:31,055
Okay, I think the door
was just unlocked.
146
00:05:31,056 --> 00:05:34,021
[JEWISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYS]
147
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,952
ILANA: Saul? Saul Borowitz?
148
00:05:36,953 --> 00:05:38,849
I'm your 16th cousin Ilana Wexler.
149
00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,849
[BOTH GASP] Oh, my God.
150
00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:42,435
Oh, my God.
151
00:05:42,436 --> 00:05:43,883
No!
152
00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,469
No, no, no, no.
153
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,814
No. Oh, God.
154
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,676
I knew I shouldn't have stopped
at Sephora before I came here!
155
00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:54,849
I'm gonna cover his face up.
This is too weird.
156
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,297
- Gotcha! [LAUGHS]
- Oh, my God.
157
00:05:57,298 --> 00:05:59,869
Works every time. [LAUGHS]
158
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,834
You know, you must be
one of those Genes&Me kids.
159
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,883
I can see the resemblance. Look.
160
00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:06,124
That's me as a horny teenager.
161
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,607
See the hair?
162
00:06:07,608 --> 00:06:09,021
I guess.
163
00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:10,573
[CHORTLES] Have a seat.
164
00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:12,849
- Wow.
- Great fun, huh?
165
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,021
Yes. Wild. Wild.
166
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:16,883
Very scary.
167
00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:18,193
So, like I said, I'm Ilana.
168
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:20,124
And this is my, um...
169
00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:21,918
Oh, God. She's my everything.
170
00:06:21,919 --> 00:06:23,618
But, you know what, I'll just
boil it down to soulmate.
171
00:06:23,629 --> 00:06:25,141
Let's... Let's just
leave it at soulmate.
172
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,229
I'm Abbi.
173
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,435
Nice to meet you both.
174
00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,538
So, Saul, I'm applying
to graduate school,
175
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:32,538
and I'm writing my personal essay
about inherited trauma.
176
00:06:32,539 --> 00:06:33,952
Ah.
177
00:06:33,953 --> 00:06:36,400
For example, I experience
anxiety diarrhea
178
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:39,297
- three to eight times daily.
- Ay, yi, yi, yi.
179
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,607
Now, do you think
that somatic expression
180
00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:45,849
tracks back to your horrific experience
181
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,400
somehow, for sure?
182
00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:50,055
No.
183
00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:53,952
I'm gonna write "possible connection."
184
00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,814
Okay. So, tell me everything.
185
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,883
I want to hear
about mental illness history,
186
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,331
stories from the old country,
Nazi shit, anything.
187
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,814
Tell you what.
188
00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:06,297
I'll tell you everything... the whole
family, relatives, everything...
189
00:07:06,298 --> 00:07:08,538
if you'll take me out of here
for a little while.
190
00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:11,435
I've been cooped up here
so long, and you know what?
191
00:07:11,436 --> 00:07:13,321
The food here is horse shit.
192
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,307
Well, the woman downstairs
said we could take you
193
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,607
wherever you want on this floor.
194
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,814
Ah, come on. It's so strict down there.
195
00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:22,736
I-I'm sorry, Saul. We can't. I
mean, we're just following orders.
196
00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,573
Well, I've heard that one before.
197
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,297
Oooooooh!
198
00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:29,435
Okay, okay. We're getting you
out of here right now!
199
00:07:29,436 --> 00:07:31,193
[CHUCKLES] Wow!
200
00:07:31,194 --> 00:07:32,676
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
201
00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:35,607
Yes! Yes.
202
00:07:35,608 --> 00:07:37,366
Oh, uh... this guy had an accident.
203
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:39,366
Shit was everywhere.
We gotta get rid of the rug.
204
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,159
Yep. We're doing it. [CHUCKLES]
205
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,574
Getting him out!
206
00:07:43,609 --> 00:07:46,557
- [GROANING]
- Oh, man.
207
00:07:46,568 --> 00:07:48,533
Okay. I got... I can't do this anymore.
208
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,847
- Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Ready?
- Alright. Okay.
209
00:07:50,858 --> 00:07:52,119
- Shit! Shit!
- God...
210
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,498
Saul! Saul! Are you okay?!
211
00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,119
Great work, girls.
212
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,705
[SIGHS]Ah.
213
00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,464
Smell that New York air.
214
00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,222
It's like garbage. I love it!
215
00:08:00,223 --> 00:08:03,429
- Oh, come on.
- [ALL GROAN]
216
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,464
So let's get you some real food and
get into some real family history.
217
00:08:06,465 --> 00:08:07,878
For example, I want to know...
218
00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,016
were your parents
mentally ill, like mine?
219
00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:11,705
Listen... Before we get to that...
220
00:08:11,706 --> 00:08:13,567
Could you guys take me to a shoemaker?
221
00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:15,774
- Of course, Saul.
- Good.
222
00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:18,429
We'll do you one better.
223
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:23,843
♪♪
224
00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:25,311
Ooh! That looks so nice.
225
00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,291
- [CELLPHONE SHUTTER CLICKS]
- [CHUCKLING] Good.
226
00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:29,912
Okay, Saul, now that
I've got you in pleasure,
227
00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:33,360
interview question number one...
what does post-traumatic
228
00:08:33,361 --> 00:08:35,257
stress disorder mean to you?
229
00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:38,636
Look, they have high tops.
I'll be right back.
230
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,602
He is too cute. [CHUCKLES]
231
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:42,912
You hear him... [GASPS]
232
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,810
- [CELLPHONE SHUTTER CLICKS]
- What?
233
00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,388
I'm just sending a selfie to Leslie.
234
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:49,947
Cute. [CHUCKLES] I just, um...
235
00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:53,785
I forgot about, uh... you know, uh...
236
00:08:56,356 --> 00:08:57,528
SAUL: Girls!
237
00:08:57,529 --> 00:09:00,390
I found it... a dope-ass pair.
238
00:09:00,391 --> 00:09:02,838
[CHUCKLES]
239
00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:04,528
I love these shoes.
240
00:09:04,529 --> 00:09:06,390
- I love them, too.
- They look amazing on you.
241
00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:10,148
- You hungry? Where do you want to eat?
- What about Red Hook?
242
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,813
Red Hook is kind of hard
to get to, right?
243
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,805
- Well, we can always take the...
- Shut up, Saul!
244
00:09:13,816 --> 00:09:16,010
♪♪
245
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,148
♪ Hello ♪
246
00:09:18,149 --> 00:09:19,355
What, dude?
247
00:09:19,356 --> 00:09:21,459
- [LAUGHS]
- [GASPS]
248
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,493
Alan motherfucking Cumming.
249
00:09:23,494 --> 00:09:25,459
Oh, my God.
250
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:26,804
Who is that?
251
00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:28,804
- BOTH: Alan Cumming!
- Saul!
252
00:09:28,805 --> 00:09:30,666
Alan Cumming... the magical, pansexual,
253
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,148
New York City party boi-nymph
254
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:33,873
- in the beautiful flesh!
- I have chills.
255
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,804
Okay, should we follow him?
256
00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,321
I mean, I think we have to.
257
00:09:37,322 --> 00:09:38,976
What? I'm starving!
258
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,838
Okay, it is not about you
right now, honey.
259
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,838
Saul, we're talking about Alan Cumming
260
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:44,390
from... from "Romy and Michelle,"
261
00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:46,134
from "The Anniversary Party,"
from "The Good Wife,"
262
00:09:46,145 --> 00:09:48,700
from "Spice World" fame, Saul.
263
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:51,557
I mean, Alan Cumming created his
own perfume line called "Cumming."
264
00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:53,666
[LAUGHS] Is that LOL genie or what?
265
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,183
I'm wearing it right now.
266
00:09:55,184 --> 00:09:58,010
Saul, I swear to Adonai,
267
00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:00,010
whatever Alan Cumming has
in store for today,
268
00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,504
- you will be titillated by it.
- Yes.
269
00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:03,286
He represents the real New York, okay?
270
00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:05,700
The... The pre-9/11,
pre- "Sex in the City,"
271
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:08,045
Basquiat, Keith Haring New York.
272
00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:10,355
The only Haring I'm interested
in is pickled herring.
273
00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:12,252
And as soon as we can
get to that, I am fine.
274
00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:14,217
You got yourself a deal.
Got yourself a deal.
275
00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:16,010
- We'll make it happen.
- All right!
276
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,023
Come on, Saul.
We gotta catch up with him. Hurry it up.
277
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,208
♪♪
278
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,066
- Alright.
- Alright. We're gonna catch up.
279
00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:23,915
Giddy-up, Saul! Come on!
We got it, Saul.
280
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,206
- Shit, shit!
- Here we go.
281
00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:27,010
- We're losing him.
- Okay. Alright.
282
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:28,355
We got... [GASPS]
283
00:10:28,356 --> 00:10:29,976
Drag brunch! Drag brunch!
284
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,390
- We must! We must!
- We must?
285
00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:32,631
We must! We must!
286
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,838
- [GROANS]
- Okay.
287
00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,528
- Come on, brother!
- Here we go.
288
00:10:35,529 --> 00:10:37,528
♪ You're our guest ♪
289
00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:38,942
♪ You're our guest ♪
290
00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:41,528
♪ Jiggly Caliente is the best ♪
291
00:10:41,529 --> 00:10:43,907
♪ Tuck your dick between your legs ♪
292
00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:46,735
♪ And shake those unfeasibly
large breasts ♪
293
00:10:46,736 --> 00:10:49,390
♪ A generous pour, contours and curves ♪
294
00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:52,045
♪ All the drinks that you deserve ♪
295
00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:54,528
♪ We are dressed in all couture ♪
296
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,252
♪ Just ask our queen, Sasha Velour ♪
297
00:10:57,253 --> 00:11:00,079
♪ Undo your belt, loosen your pants ♪
298
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,873
♪ Tip your waitress, she's freelance ♪
299
00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:08,631
♪ Our mimosa pours will
always past the test ♪
300
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:11,528
♪ Come on and bring your nephew ♪
301
00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:14,666
♪ Apply your blush
and then you'll pass the test ♪
302
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,079
♪ Touch my chest ♪
303
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,217
♪ You're our guest ♪
304
00:11:19,218 --> 00:11:22,114
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
305
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,942
Yes!
306
00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,390
Can I take your order, baby?
307
00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,217
Yes. Can I get a coffee
with a side of you?
308
00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:29,562
- Wooo!
- Oh!
309
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,976
Sau-ul.
310
00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:33,217
Looks like I got a fresh one, mm-hmm?
311
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,045
- I love this place.
- Thank you.
312
00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,942
And I love money,
so make sure y'all tip, okay?
313
00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:39,183
- Yes.
- I'll be back, doll.
314
00:11:39,184 --> 00:11:40,217
Okay. Love it.
315
00:11:40,218 --> 00:11:44,804
♪♪
316
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,942
[SIGHING] Oof! That was good.
317
00:11:46,943 --> 00:11:49,183
Oh, my God, Ilana. He's at the bar.
318
00:11:49,184 --> 00:11:53,562
♪♪
319
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,666
- We have to go pay our respects.
- Okay.
320
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,424
- Let's vape and loosen up a little bit.
- Okay. Thanks.
321
00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:01,804
♪♪
322
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,804
Oh, Saul, this is a marijuana pen.
323
00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:06,286
Ooh, sorry.
You probably don't want that.
324
00:12:06,287 --> 00:12:07,700
Why shouldn't I get high?
325
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:10,424
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYS LIGHTLY]
326
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,321
- Yeah, go for it.
- Get ripped, 'cuz.
327
00:12:13,322 --> 00:12:15,666
[COUGHS]
328
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,666
You can't get off unless you cough!
329
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,631
- That's for damn sure.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
330
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,148
BOTH: Conga time!
331
00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,079
Ooh, come on, girls.
332
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,838
Oh, my gosh, Abbi,
his friend just left him,
333
00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:28,285
leaving him all alone at the bar.
334
00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,010
Oh, my God. It's now or never, dude.
Come on.
335
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,942
[CONGA MUSIC PLAYS]
336
00:12:32,943 --> 00:12:35,286
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
337
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:39,493
♪♪
338
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:41,942
It's a bare... with a hint of lavender.
339
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,424
Mm.
340
00:12:43,425 --> 00:12:44,459
[CLEARS THROAT]
341
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:46,976
♪♪
342
00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:49,387
Hello.
343
00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:51,252
BOTH: Hi.
344
00:12:51,253 --> 00:12:53,700
Um, Mr. Cumming, um...
345
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:58,010
we just want to say
how big of fans we are.
346
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,010
- Um...
- Yes. [CHUCKLES]
347
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,804
Thank you so much
for bringing us here today.
348
00:13:03,677 --> 00:13:04,838
For bringing you?
349
00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:06,528
We followed you for, like, 13 blocks.
350
00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:07,638
Cool.
351
00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,045
- It's really cool.
- It is cool.
352
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:10,735
I think it's kind of cool.
353
00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:12,355
So you're a couple?
354
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:13,528
No. [CHUCKLES]
355
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:14,907
We're just best friends forever.
356
00:13:14,908 --> 00:13:17,321
Oh, it's just... the hat.
357
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:20,217
No, we actually just brought
Ilana's 16th cousin,
358
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,528
uh, 'cause he's a Holocaust survivor.
359
00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:24,252
Oh, really? That's incredible.
360
00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:26,631
- My cousin.
- We really need to cherish our elders
361
00:13:26,632 --> 00:13:28,321
and hear their stories.
362
00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:29,424
You want to meet him?
363
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,942
- Sure.
- Yeah, he's here.
364
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,252
You've got to meet
my 16th cousin, Alan Cumming.
365
00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:36,183
- He's great.
- He's right over there.
366
00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:37,602
Where is he?
367
00:13:39,322 --> 00:13:40,735
- Abbi, look!
- [GASPS] No!
368
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,045
BOTH: Saul! No!
369
00:13:43,046 --> 00:13:44,391
[CONGO MUSIC CONTINUES]
370
00:13:46,635 --> 00:13:48,811
- ILANA: Saul!
- ABBI: Saul!
371
00:13:48,812 --> 00:13:50,756
BOTH: Saul! Saul!
372
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:52,318
Oh, my God.
373
00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:55,069
- He's gone for fucking ever!
- Okay, okay.
374
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,230
Dude, we'll just see
where the bus stops next.
375
00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:58,617
Okay.
376
00:13:58,628 --> 00:14:00,044
Um...
377
00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:02,816
Uh... uh...
378
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:05,356
- I can't read a fucking bus map.
- No, me either. Okay.
379
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,038
We cannot be losing Holocaust survivors!
380
00:14:07,049 --> 00:14:09,428
Not now that the world
is gaining Nazis somehow!
381
00:14:09,439 --> 00:14:11,024
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
382
00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:14,214
Where would a Holocaust survivor go?
Um...
383
00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:15,598
Okay, okay. Think, think, think.
384
00:14:15,599 --> 00:14:17,736
Um, pickled herring. Um...
385
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,322
BOTH: [GASPS] Zabar's!
386
00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,632
Yes!
387
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:21,736
Shit! My hat, dude!
388
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,253
- Leave the hat!
- No!
389
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,080
It's not that simple!
390
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,942
[JEWISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYS]
391
00:14:26,943 --> 00:14:29,460
♪♪
392
00:14:29,461 --> 00:14:32,529
To the mayo-based salads.
393
00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:35,080
Saul? Saul Borowitz?
394
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,425
Oh, excuse me, excuse me.
395
00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:38,322
Have you seen an elderly gentleman,
396
00:14:38,323 --> 00:14:40,942
like yay high?
397
00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:43,667
He's also very high as in stoned.
398
00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,425
Oh, he's also wearing brightly colored
399
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,149
- LeBron high tops.
- Yes.
400
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,011
I don't think so. Sorry.
401
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,250
Shit.
402
00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:51,725
Okay. Maybe we check down here...
403
00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:53,149
Wait, Ilana. Okay.
404
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,908
Um, I'm never up here,
and... and the babka is insane.
405
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:58,667
We got to get some while we're here.
406
00:14:58,668 --> 00:15:00,184
I will get some whitefish salad.
407
00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,046
Hey, can I get a pound
of whitefish salad please?
408
00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:04,205
And we'll take that to go. We're
kind of in a hurry. Thank you.
409
00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:06,322
Okay, dude. Where else would
a Holocaust survivor go?
410
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,479
[SIGHS]
411
00:15:09,495 --> 00:15:12,184
[JEWISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYS]
412
00:15:12,185 --> 00:15:15,218
[SIGHS]
413
00:15:15,219 --> 00:15:17,667
Wow, we really got lost in there.
414
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:19,736
Well, you can't rush through.
415
00:15:19,737 --> 00:15:21,080
No, no.
416
00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:22,563
The resilience of the Jewish people
417
00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:24,529
- is just astounding.
- Yeah.
418
00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:27,468
We got to keep educating
ourselves, you know.
419
00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:29,701
Truly never forget. Never forget.
420
00:15:29,702 --> 00:15:31,322
- Shit!
- BOTH: Saul!
421
00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:33,701
Oh, my God. Idiots!
422
00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:35,701
Saul?!
423
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,253
Saul?!
424
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,391
Okay, where else might an old Jew go?
425
00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:41,977
[GASPS] A sale.
426
00:15:41,978 --> 00:15:43,391
Genius. Jew magnet!
427
00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,667
Yes!
428
00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:48,736
♪♪
429
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:50,303
Just can't pass up a sale like that.
430
00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:51,839
No, I mean, you find the best stuff
431
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,391
- when you're not looking.
- That's right.
432
00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:54,679
I mean, we weren't trying to shop.
433
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,268
- We had to.
- We had to.
434
00:15:56,279 --> 00:15:58,253
You don't find great clothes.
Great clothes find you.
435
00:15:58,254 --> 00:15:59,736
- Exactly.
- Damn it! Saul!
436
00:15:59,737 --> 00:16:01,391
Oh, my God. What is wrong with us?
437
00:16:01,392 --> 00:16:02,942
I don't know.
I think we smoked too much weed.
438
00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,638
We got to go back
to the assisted living facility.
439
00:16:04,649 --> 00:16:06,057
It's getting late, it's getting dark.
440
00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:07,816
Yeah, you're right.
Also we need our licenses.
441
00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:09,391
- Ugh. Good point.
- Geez.
442
00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:13,806
♪♪
443
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:21,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
444
00:16:23,032 --> 00:16:24,115
Hi...
445
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,391
Doris.
446
00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:29,425
There's no delicate way to put this,
447
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,273
but, um...
448
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:35,080
we lost Saul, and we can't find him,
449
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,770
and we looked all over,
450
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,770
all the fuck over,
and we can't find him,
451
00:16:38,771 --> 00:16:42,667
and we're really, really, really sorry.
452
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,736
[BURPS] Ooh. No disrespect.
453
00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:48,254
- He's at Ikea.
- What?
454
00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:49,563
How do you... How do you know that?
455
00:16:49,564 --> 00:16:52,046
When he breaks out,
he always goes to IKEA.
456
00:16:52,047 --> 00:16:53,356
That's what he does.
457
00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:54,632
[CHUCKLES] That's... Well...
458
00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:56,287
- That's hilarious.
- Okay.
459
00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:58,839
Didn't I tell you not to leave
the third floor with him?
460
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,391
- [QUIETLY] You did mention that.
- I didn't really hear it.
461
00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,667
I feel like that was
more directed to my...
462
00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:04,805
friend, to be honest.
463
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,287
Okay.
464
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:10,115
Um, so you guys got it from here or...
465
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:14,011
And... And... And...
And we could just take...
466
00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:16,115
We'll just take our licenses
back real quick,
467
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,184
and then we'll just be like,
"Great meeting ya".
468
00:17:18,185 --> 00:17:19,494
[CHUCKLES]
469
00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:20,737
No.
470
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,425
Go get him.
471
00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:27,115
Okay, um...
472
00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:29,184
Do you think that we
can leave our bags...
473
00:17:29,185 --> 00:17:30,218
Now.
474
00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:32,356
- We'll take them.
- Yeah.
475
00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:33,460
See you later.
476
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:36,184
♪♪
477
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,046
ILANA: Saul?
478
00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:41,123
- Saul?!
- Oh, my God, Abbi. He's here.
479
00:17:41,134 --> 00:17:43,942
Oh, my gosh, Saul, we've been
looking everywhere for you!
480
00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,494
- [SIGHS]
- God!
481
00:17:45,495 --> 00:17:47,494
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
482
00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:50,701
You know, y-you come in for
one thing, and... and...
483
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,839
Like your cousin,
the Holocaust survivor.
484
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,011
[BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY]
485
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:56,253
Before you take me back,
486
00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:59,460
how about some Swedish meatballs?
487
00:17:59,461 --> 00:18:02,460
Mm. I mean, you know I'm in.
488
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,356
You can leave the hat in the cart.
489
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:06,218
[LAUGHS QUIETLY]
490
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,875
[CLEARS THROAT]
491
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:17,391
- These are so good.
- Told ya.
492
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:20,356
So what's up with the IKEA fetish, Saul?
493
00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:22,080
Well...
494
00:18:22,081 --> 00:18:24,874
when I escaped from the camp,
495
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,736
I wound up in Sweden,
496
00:18:27,737 --> 00:18:30,287
and those people,
the... the Swedish people,
497
00:18:30,288 --> 00:18:32,253
they were so good to me.
498
00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:35,287
And their furniture was so elegant.
499
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:38,701
So this is like, um,
retail [CHUCKLING] therapy.
500
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,551
- [LAUGHS]
- Makes sense.
501
00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:43,136
Well, we had a great day with you.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
502
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:45,011
We learned so much from you, Saul.
503
00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:46,908
And... And also, the, um...
504
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,942
Holocaust Memorial Museum of New York.
505
00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,080
We just stopped by.
506
00:18:50,081 --> 00:18:51,391
You know my motto...
507
00:18:51,392 --> 00:18:53,011
Never forget.
508
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,667
Also...
509
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,529
- don't remind me.
- Yeah.
510
00:18:56,530 --> 00:19:00,011
And you look a great deal
like my father.
511
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,701
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. Yeah.
512
00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:04,609
Really? It's all about...
It's all about the eyes...
513
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:05,793
The moustache.
514
00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:10,876
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY][CHUCKLES]
515
00:19:10,887 --> 00:19:12,286
[BOTH LAUGH]
516
00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:14,572
Oh, my... God.
517
00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:15,911
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
518
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,990
Let me talk to you for one...
one quick sec.
519
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,345
Okay. So, um...
520
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:24,031
I, um... I feel like I gave, um,
521
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:27,938
this... this guy, like,
a good go of it today.
522
00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:32,524
And I-I just don't think
that it's really me.
523
00:19:32,525 --> 00:19:34,765
O-Okay.
524
00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,972
I mean, I-I-I really
appreciate the gesture.
525
00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:38,593
Like, it was so nice
that you would think of me...
526
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,351
- It's totally fine.
- But, like, it's just not my...
527
00:19:40,352 --> 00:19:42,560
Abbi... Abbi, listen.
I thought it looked cute on you.
528
00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:45,604
But you're much cuter without it.
529
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,213
[SIGHING] Oh.
530
00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:51,076
Sweet relief.
531
00:19:51,077 --> 00:19:53,076
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my God.
532
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,558
I feel so much better.
533
00:19:55,559 --> 00:19:57,032
♪♪
534
00:19:57,043 --> 00:19:58,704
ILANA: "It's not about the hideous hat."
535
00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:00,783
It's about the head that wears it.
536
00:20:00,794 --> 00:20:02,621
I couldn't help but wonder,
537
00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:06,739
I used to think being Jewish
meant IBS, Tay-Sachs,
538
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:11,369
"inherited trauma,
and childhood contact lenses."
539
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:13,489
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
540
00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:16,524
"But now I know being Jewish
is about being resilient,"
541
00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:18,593
having the strength
to survive the Holocaust
542
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,685
in perpetual exile,
as well as being able
543
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:24,413
to carry a stag table
to the parking lot of an IKEA
544
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,027
"at 91 years old."
545
00:20:26,038 --> 00:20:29,248
♪♪
546
00:20:29,249 --> 00:20:31,213
[SIGHS]
547
00:20:31,214 --> 00:20:33,593
"And I hope you have the strength"
548
00:20:33,594 --> 00:20:35,524
to accept this little Jew
549
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,765
into your Psychology Gradate program.
550
00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:39,282
"Shalom."
551
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:45,110
♪♪
552
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,041
[SIGHING]
553
00:20:47,052 --> 00:20:48,949
Yeah, I'm getting in.
554
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,203
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
555
00:20:51,214 --> 00:20:53,593
Oh, my God.
556
00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:55,076
Cute as hell.
557
00:20:55,077 --> 00:20:59,835
♪♪
558
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,381
Are you performers?
559
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:02,925
No. Why?
560
00:21:02,936 --> 00:21:04,693
The... hat.
561
00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,693
Oh, this? No, this is a style choice.
562
00:21:07,694 --> 00:21:12,313
Usually, I'm pro-choice, but I
would abort this if I could.
563
00:21:12,324 --> 00:21:14,606
The hat... I'd burn it.
563
00:21:15,305 --> 00:21:21,661
Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom.
$5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com
39023
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
