Original subtitles

My hands are a bit cold, so...

It doesn't matter.

All right, great.

I'm just gonna go right here.

'Doing great.

Have you experienced any withdrawal symptoms?

Yeah, right now.

And how's your mood been, on a scale of 1 to 10,

rating a 10 as-

Four.

OK.

And are you experiencing any suicidal ideation,

any thoughts of harming or killing yourself?

Yes.

Do you have the means to do that?

Yes.

OK.

'You wanna tell me what that plan is?

No, I forget just get my methadone soon,

it wouldn't be a problem.

It seems to be a really important thing.

Yeah, I'm just waiting into to get, and I really want it.

- Yeah. - I need it right now.

OK, we'll get through this,

and we'll get the doctor in to see you.

OK, let's go quick.

Any relationship stressors, conflict, which would include custody, environment,

finances or housing?

Yes.

- Do you- - 'Can't see my daughter.

That must be hard.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

Hi!

It's off.

Hi, can I help you?

Um, we wanted to apply for no-income hous- low-income housing.

Low-income housing.

OK. Uh, is it just for the two of you?

Yes.

OK.

There we go.

Uh, do you have any children?

No.

- No, we don't. - No.

OK, subsidized housing is, basically, for families and seniors,

although, recently, we did open a unit for single people.

Currently, it's full right now, though.

When you like even tell us about it if it's full?

Oh, to let you know that one is available

and that we can put you on a waiting list and-

How long is the list, and how long we have to wait?

How many names do you have on it right now?

It varies.

Uh, it's been a dozen on the list.

It varies in the time.

- Some are short stay. - Such what, 2-3 years you have to wait?

No, it would be more a short stay.

Some have a faster turnover and are able to get out and open up an availability.

Well, that's no good because we don't have anywhere to go right now.

We don't have a year or two to wait around to find somewhere to live.

You know, we'll just, like, sleep outside.

That's what we do, sleep outside.

We'll sleep in a car.

It's really unfortunate that I'm not able to help you more

- than to give you those directions. - She's only 19 years old.

There's nothing more that the housing can do, though.

I'm really sorry at this point.

The only options that we have, like I said,

we just recently opened a unit for single people.

I knew that she was gonna say all that stuff, so we're kind of wasting our time.

We should actually probably go find some' better to do,

try 'find somewhere to stay.

I knew that that was gonna happen.

I didn't have any faith in coming here whatsoever.

It's actually just disappointing when you come to places like this

and 'tell you things like that.

We're gonna leave?

Mm-hmm.

Do you wanna get your lawn mowed today?

I'll have to check with my husband. Dave!

Yeah.

Do you want the lawn mowed?

Do me a favour. Leave here before you-

I wanna do you a favour. That's why we're here. We wanna mow your lawn.

Do me a favour. Take your girlfriend, take your mower and leave.

I'm trying 'do you a favour.

I'm telling you right now. I'm not gonna say it again.

- Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot. - Yes.

We did when you put your foot inside my house.

We do the whole thing 15, that's better.

No, it's just...

That's like as low as we can go.

I don't really know you and...

You know what?

I'd rather give you $5,

and then I wouldn't be worried about other things.

Yeah, we're pretty worried about that too ourselves, actually.

Pretty worried about what?

Peace of mind, security.

Yeah.

I guess the best I can do, not knowing you,

is if I'm willing, give you 5 bucks and send you on your way.

You can take it if you want it.

I'm not putting it in my pocket.

No, but I bet you'll darn well use it when she takes it.

Hmm...

Could you ask one of them if they live here?

Um, do any guys lives here?

Guys?

Do any kids live here in this house?

Yeah!

Is your mother home?

Yeah!

- Can you get her? - Go get her.

I'll be right back, guys!

Mommy! Aw, she can't hear me.

Could you go in and get your mother?

I can't because she can't hear me.

Knock there very hard.

Can 'mow your lawn?

In this heat you're mowing lawns?

It's fine.

Well, I don't have much money.

What do you need it for? 'You back on drugs?

I'm on the methadone program now.

I see.

I don't own a mower.

We got that.

Who's we?

Me and Blaise.

So, are you pushing the mower in this heat or him?

Does your girlfriend want a drink of water?

Do you want a drink of water?

If you got one, yeah.

- Yeah - Yeah, sure.

Do you wanna take a break?

Take a break.

Aw, my legs are fucked!

Here you go.

Thanks.

What's your name?

I'm Nessa.

'Did a good job.

Thanks.

Well 'go in. Just let me know when you guys are done.

- OK. - Yeah.

Can't wait to get the fuck out of here!

How far 'you think we'd go?

How far do you wanna go?

Far.

Then we'll go far.

Unfortunately, you can't start a methadone program elsewhere

while you still have a balance with us.

How much is it?

Let me just bring it up here.

Uh, looks like your tab is $150.

OK.

OK, thanks, just give me a moment.

I'll have to fucking suck somebody's dick or something!

That's supposed to be funny.

You could get 2 weeks out of it.

You could get 3 weeks out of it.

That's about it. You know, like,

I'm can't say about rings. Once they go, that's it. She's not gonna run no more.

I figured you'd say something like that.

A lawnmower, it's like a motor of a car, it only lasts so long.

Show me what you just did.

Look, it's not gonna run very long.

Well,

- how much- - She's not gonna last long.

What would you charge to get it fixed?

I would have to replace the whole motor, about $60.

$60.

How long would it take?

Well, only if I can find the right motor around here and get it up and running,

probably 3-4 days.

I don't know man, um...

See, we couldn't even get it going, and now it's smoking,

and you're saying it's gonna be $60 to fix it?

Yeah?

Do I even look like I have $60?

- Does she look like she has $60? - Do I look like I fix 'em for nothing?

No, but I don't know, man!

It's awfully weird that you start it up, and all that smoke's coming out of it.

That's 'cause I know what I'm doing.

Well, I think we know what we're doing too. We did everything we were supposed to do.

Well, then, if you know what you're doing, you don't need me.

We'll go to somebody else.

Go right ahead, then. That's fine with me, 'cause...

I do not fix 'em for nothing.

You think... That's not a very good way to get customers and have a business.

Just do something different...

Well, I just got the thing running for you! It wasn't running for you at all!

Come on.

I know, but you're saying it's gonna be, like, 60 bucks!

I don't think so. I feel like you're lying to me.

I do. I don't think you're telling me the truth, man!

I think you're just trying to get more money out of us

than it would actually cost to fix the thing.

Well, there's a guy out in Sydney River

- if you wanna take it to him, is... - Yeah, I know!

- Well, that's just fine with me! - All right, well...

Yeah! Good luck with it!

- Oh, that's what it is! - All right! That's the way she is!

We'll get it fixed somewhere else.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck, fuck... fuck!

Fucked up!

I'm fucked up all!

Blaise...

Come in!

We'd only be staying a couple weeks.

You're going to write a list of goals. And you're going to sign off on that list

between you and me about how you're gonna prepare for this path.

I can see right now in your eyes that you're just looking down on me.

And you actually don't care. Once I walk out of that office,

you just go on with the next person, and you just put me out of your head.

You don't consider my situation.

You don't care about me as a person. You don't understand what I'm going through.

And if you did, if you really did, you would be a little bit more sympathetic with me,

and you wouldn't be bringing up all this rules-and-regulation shit

that you hide behind. You're using that as a shield, man.

And that's not fucking fair!

- Sir- - You don't understand how a person like me lives.

You have no idea.

And if you knew, you wouldn't do it, either. You couldn't live one day in my life.

The last time you asked for take-home doses, you didn't have a permanent residence.

I... I got a place. It's, um...

It's 1362 Victoria Road.

OK, I'll just read over the contract,

and you'll have to agree this conditions before sign.

"Methadone is a long-acting narcotic

which can be very dangerous and must be kept out of the hands of children

and non-tolerant or non-opiate dependent persons.

A single dose taken by someone not used to taking narcotics

can be fatal, especially if taken by a child.

For this reason, I agree to store take-home doses in a locked box

in a location where they are unlikely to be stolen

or accidentally taken by another person.

I will transport my carries to and from the pharmacy in a locked storage box.

I will not share, administer to others or sell my methadone dose.

This will result in immediate discharge from the program.

I will notify the police immediately if any of my methadone is lost or stolen.

I do not report this, I may be required to return for daily witnessed ingestion."

Do you agree to these terms?

Push down and twist it.

Turn a bit.

Make sure that's tight. Your hair is back. OK.

Come here.

When you're taking it down, you gotta pull it forward and then tilt it down,

and make sure your other hand's there or you'll hit yourself in the face.

And then you put it in the bucket.

You think, can you do that one by 'self?

Just watch the grill, OK?

Tilt it down.

There you go. Watch your head.

Now tilt it up.

Now go put that one in the bucket too.

And I'll take down this one because...

you gotta be tall or you're burn on that grill and it hurts like a bitch!

I'll see my little pumpkin, gonna get a little drunkie-poo...

just enjoy life.

We have to go to the makeup stores or I swear to God!

What?

That's bullshit, Mark! - I'm too close. Fuck!

That's fucked up!

Oh, I almost had him too! Fucking asshole!

Imagine this with PMD?

- Nope. - Nope!

I'd be in the fucking TV!

Oh yeah?

A lot of people die from that shit. Fuck there's.

- Fuck! - Stick with my weed.

Snort the odd pill.

This is your last one.

- Who? His? Blaise's? - Red. Whoever.

- This is the last time. - That's mine.

How long have you been living in this neighbourhood?

Five years.

- It's not too bad. A lot of kids. - I used to live right there.

Kids are good.

Yeah.

Probably some drama, though, eh?

- Always. - Cop car every couple days.

It's like a soap opera. I like to watch.

Kids come blowing in and out, right now.

Oh fuck!

I think I should go.

What do you mean?

Leave Diane's, like, now.

Don't be talking crazy.

It's not crazy.

Diane only took me in because I come with you.

We're leaving soon anyway.

Would you just fucking stop talking about that?

You said we're leaving soon.

And you're still talking about it.

Yeah!

We're supposed to be leaving soon.

Don't you just fucking talk about something else?

Jesus fucking Christ, Vanessa!

Your napkin should not be like that, 'cause if someone goes to grab it,

they're gonna grab this instead of the cone and it's gonna fall.

So just fold it in half and then put your cone in it.

But you're always gonna get your napkin first,

'cause people watch you, and it's not sanitary.

Don't put any in the cone.

Go along the rim.

Slow!

Remember to go slow.

Don't make as wide circles.

It's gonna end up dropping on her.

I know. I'm gonna roar.

Where'd my cigarette go?

I just had a cigarette.

You look fucked up.

Just tired.

Well, I don't wanna do a urine drug screening for the clinic!

Don't be giving me this shit! And don't be bringing this guy in to talk to me either.

You can get your methadone at Island Recovery.

I can't get to Island Recovery.

I can't get on a half-hour bus ride to go anywhere right now to get anything.

I'm sick. I need my medicine!

This is protocol. Anyone caught stealing is automatically debarred from the store.

We're no longer obliged to supply your methadone.

Guess what? You got me hooked on this shit!

And now, when I need it, you won't give it to me. You got lots of methadone back there.

- You have my dose. Give it to me now. - I'm sorry.

You need to show up at Island Recovery

- or you'll be reported. - Give me my fucking dose!

I'm sorry, sir, you will have to leave.

Well, what if I don't leave? What if I just stand here?

- A customer's waiting. Good day, sir. - What if I do that?

You're all going ape shit over a fucking $5 bottle of cough syrup,

because I needed a little bit of codeine!

Because you don't mix the fucking doses strong enough so I can get better on them!

- If I go sick... - What the fuck are you doing?

Stop shoving me around.

What the fuck is your problem?

Nessa, fucking stop it!

What the fuck are you doing?

Fucking better than everybody else around dog.

Bam, bam, bam, bam!

Whoa!

Bam!

Bam, bam, bam!

Bam, bam!

Bam!

Whoa, this is so cool!

I wish I had one.

I took it from Nessa.

Well, you gotta take it back home.

I don't think I can bring it back, Donald.

Why?

I just gotta move this chair...

right here.

Don't drink that. Don't do that.

Don't!

You're even sickier.

You're even sick.

You're even sickier.

If someone has a piece of hair in their food, they're gonna give you shit.

So next time you come to work, make sure you're clean, OK?

- OK. - OK.

You guys still going out West?

Uh, I don't know anymore.

She even know where you're at?

She's probably looking for you.

Fuck!

Aw!

What's that you got? It's juice, is it?

You didn't take it yet today?

You seem pretty sleepy.

I'm just tired.

Aw, fuck it, man!

You wanna fall asleep there, go ahead.

Don't matter to me.

You're welcome here anytime.

Come in only a few people at my house, but you guys are cool.

Yeah, thanks, Mark.

Yeah, no problem.

This fucking game is fucking addictive!

You want a shot?

A shot?

At the game!

It pisses me off, but I can't put it down.

- You get stoned off it? - Holy shit!

You still get a buzz on from it?

Oh yeah!

Lola, get!

Fucking dog!

As soon as someone comes in, she's right in their fucking face!

You all right?

'You need to call somebody near or something?

I don't have anybody to call.

Do you wanna crash on the couch or something, man?

It's all right here, but the dog is kind of... - Move, Lola! Go!

Move! Go!

'You wanna crash? Blaise?

Blaise? Blaise?

Blaise?

Blaise!

Regional Hospital.

Hi, Regional Hospital.

Hello?

Right, so now you gotta fold it up and use that fork over there, OK?

All right, so, grab some tartar sauce and coleslaw.

You think that's what it said on the slip?

Oh, the tartar sauce is in here, and the coleslaw there.

Just grab one each.

Make sure put that in the bag.

And it also grab a knife.

There's a knife right over there, OK?

All right, thank you!

Make sure clean up your mess, OK?

Just put that there.

What you doing?

You OK?

You not feel good?

No?

You need a break?

Yeah? All right.

And how are you sleeping and resting?

Fine.

Um, Blood-borne pathogen status?

- Hep C. - OK.

And relationship stressors, conflict?

Custody, environment, finances, housing?

Yeah.

Which ones?

Relationship.

Relationship?

Anything specifically?

OK.

Um, are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms?

No.

Absent. That's good.

Any impairments to what you want to do or what you need to do in your daily life?

- No. - OK.

And your mood, on a scale of 1 to 10,

10, of course, being the best, happiest day of your life and everything's perfect

and 1 being the absolute worst, where would you rate yourself today?

Three.

Three. OK.

And are you feeling any thoughts of wanting to harm yourself or kill yourself?

OK. 'You get take-home doses?

OK.

Here, Vanessa.

How you doing?

Fine.

Fine.

I have the 4 here, from when I started my 4th year,

and then somebody stuck the "ever" on it.

'Guess I'm gonna be here for a while.

- Hey, we got another order. - What is it?

Uh, we got small vanilla.

- Small vanilla? - Yeah! Do you wanna make that?

He was in ICU not too long ago.

Yeah, I'm still here.

1B?

What does 1B mean?

Where's that?

Psych unit, where is it?

Yeah, I'm super sick. Are you sick?

Yeah, it's been awhile...

since this morning, so...

I heard he's got 12s and 4s, so that shouldn't be too bad.

I'd like you to ask yourself...

if it's functional being a couple right now.

He broke into your lockbox,

jeopardizing himself and you

at a time when you were trying to take a step forward.

And you've expressed before that this is a reoccurring pattern of his.

I said he's OD'd before.

He tried to take his own life just a few months ago.

That's different.

He was in jail then.

We've discussed before

about how you can enable this behaviour by always being there.

You're not the first person to lose take-home doses.

That's not my concern here.

I'm concerned about your boundaries.

What's too much for you?

Don't know.

Vanessa, in my experience,

it's very difficult for... couples to come clean together.

It can be very threatening when one person changes.

Let me ask you...

do you think you may go back to Transition House?

The women's shelter is non-punitive. There's no shame going back.

I don't want that kind of help.

Are you waiting for him?

I'm very concerned

that you're making the same choices over and over

and expecting a different result.

And that's a recipe for insanity.

You've lost an awful lot, and it's a lot to carry around.

But you have to know it's not your responsibility to keep him alive.

I wanna pay my tab too.

Sure.

How much you wanna pay?

All of it.

OK, we just gotta get a bag.

Thank you.

- Hi, how are you? - Fine, thanks.

Good!

Oh, I forgot to tell you, there was a young guy,

he came here yesterday, he was looking for you.

OK, sure!

Tried to bum a smoke off, but I didn't give him one.

You're here!

I just got out of the hospital.

I have a shitload of energy right now. It's amazing!

Are you sleeping? Did I wake you up?

- You look like you were sleeping. - Blaise.

Are you tired?

I have, like, so much fucking energy right now!

Oh, holy shit!

It's like... "Gong, gong, gong..."

It sounds like blood is pumping into my ears, like...

Boom, boom, boom...

And it's dripping down my face like this...

I was crying blood.

It was like tears.

It was a real blood.

And I looked at myself in the reflection of a spoon that I had,

and it was, like, horrible, freaky kind of shit!

Yeah, fucked up!

I'm glad that you didn't see it, 'cause it would have fucked you up forever!

I can't...

I don't even wanna think of looking at myself

blood coming out of my eyes. I never looked like that before.

What happened?

I tried to cut it off.

You gotta go to work and make money...

so you can get an apartment...

invite your friends over there.

You should look at yourself in the window...

see what you look like now.

Hey, how are you?

Hi, can I have... a large cone...

Subtítulos: ighim

(Mess Folk - "Love Letter Ballad")

# I wrote a letter today #

# But I didn't know what to say #

# I wrote a letter to you #

# Love letter #

# Even though you hate me #

# Yeah, you hate me #

# Oh #

# Oh #

# I wrote a letter today #

# But I didn't know what to say #

# I wrote a letter #

# I wrote a letter #

# To you #

# But I didn't know what to say #

# I wrote a letter to you #

# Even though you hate me... no #