Original subtitles

♪♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪

♪ travel down the road and back again ♪

♪ your heart is true ♪

♪ you're a pal and a confidante ♪

♪ and if you threw a party ♪

♪ invited everyone you knew ♪

♪ you would see ♪

♪ the biggest gift would be from me ♪

♪ and the card attached would say ♪

♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪

♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪

♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪♪

Captioning made possible by witt/thomas/harris productions, cbs television network,

And 1992 nci caption club/ grantsmanship

Sophia, I have some bad news.

Gladys goldfine called.

She broke her hip.

She's giving you her price is right tickets.

Bad news? This is wonderful news.

For who could this be bad news?

Gladys goldfine.

I don't follow.

Sophia, the woman broke her hip.

Oh, boo hoo.

She took the risks,

And now she's paying the price.

Risk? What was she doing when it happened?

Getting out of bed.

Everyone is a daredevil.

The price is right is in two days.

If bob barker should choose you,

How will you pay for a plane ticket to l.A.?

Don't you worry about me.

I have a plan...

And a hostage.

Oh, stop it.

First, sophia, you're lousy at the price is right.

I am not!

Second, do you know

What a round-trip ticket to l.A. Costs?

$40, bob.

Sophia, you're not going.

I'm going.

In that case, good luck.

Yeah, break a leg.

Break a leg? $300.

Roland, your mom's looking for you.

We're spending the day together.

I've been worried about her since that divorce.

She's been really lonely.

At least I can support her,

Comfort her, stay by her side.

By the way, camille jenkins called.

Said she's free toght.

Mom should stand on her own two feet.

I can't believe this.

I've tried to get this date for months.

I've been sending her candy every week.

What's she look like?

Well, when I met her, she was fine.

But if she's been eating all that candy...

Oh, no. What have I done, man?

Well, hello there. Checking in?

I sure am.

Mr. Sardisco, this is blanche devereaux,

One of the hotel's owners.

You've got a lovely place here.

Thank you.

I can take over now.

But--

Beat it, rose.

Mr. Sardisco, I see you're in room 214.

You traveling alone?

My darling flo's in the van.

Oh. Married. Take it, rose.

No.

No, I'm not married.

Darling flo is my greyhound.

Why didn't you say so?

Beat it, rose.

So what brings you to town?

I'm racing my greyhound at the dog track Wednesday.

Wow! You must be fast.

Would you mind

If I went out to say hello to her?

I adore dogs.

They're so affectionate and lovable

And smart, too.

They play poker. I've seen the pictures.

I haven't been to the greyhound races in a while,

But if your dog's half as good-looking as you are,

Maybe I'll take myself to that track and place a wager.

What will the odds be on this dog?

She had trouble the last couple times out,

But she's been training well.

I guess about 6-to-1.

Sounds like a plane ticket to me.

Sophia petrillo, come on down!

I think she's a winner,

But there's no such thing as a sure thing.

You want to bet?

Has anybody seen roland?

Hey, m.

Let's drive to the marina today,

Then try that new italian place for dinner.

Listen, about tonight. I can't make it.

The hotel's way too busy.

I understand, baby. You got work to do.

I'll catch up on my reading.

Don't work too hard tonight.

I'll try not to.

Uh, roland...

Have fun with camille.

You knew?

Honey, I arranged it.

I sent her candy every day, but don't worry.

I told her it was from you.

That's not what I'm worried about, ma.

Hi, sophia.

You made me lose track.

I'll either be up all night,

Or I'll see you Thursday.

I've been out keeping darling flo company.

Stop bothering that dog.

She has to psych herself up for tomorrow's race.

I'm counting on winning enough money

So I can get a handful of bob barker.

Roland, back from your date already?

Yeah. What are you guys still doing up?

It's 8:30.

Did you and camille hit it off?

I repeat--it's 8:30.

It's early. Doesn't mean we didn't have fun.

I'm going on upstairs.

Rose, thanks for watching my mom for me tonight.

Oh, don't thank me.

I really appreciate it.

I didn't watch her.

She had lunch with chuy.

We haven't seen her since.

Wait a minute.

Chuy and my mom spent the day together?

But it's late.

Still 8:30.

Thank you, sophia.

No, you didn't!

Well, look who's back.

Mom and chuy.

Chuy and mom.

That's like two words that don't belong together.

So where you two been?

Listen to me. Like it's my business.

So where you two been?

Chuy took me to the mall this afternoon.

We had lunch. We talked.

Then we took a drive and talked some more.

I guess we just lost track of time.

Besides, it's not that late.

Why are you home?

It's not that early, either.

It's already--

[sophia] 8:30!

Why are you here?

Didn't you have a good time?

By the end of the date,

She had this nasty thing on her arm--

Another guy.

The good news is I'm free tomorrow.

Chuy and I are going to brunch tomorrow.

We found this adorable place

That makes blueberry pancakes.

Stay here and have pancakes.

Are you kidding? I hate the pancakes here.

Why?

'cause I have to make them.

You two go ahead and have a good time.

I'll have some pop tarts.

Pop tarts. $1.49, bob.

Roland, I wanted to invite your mother

To the dog track today.

Mom's not here.

She and chuy went to brunch.

That's nice.

What's that supposed to mean?

They're not dating. They just went to brunch.

Can't two people eat pancakes

Without you thinking they're dating?

Because they're not dating! They're not!

Why didn't you tell me

Chuy and roland's mother were dating?

Oh, here's my baby.

Oh, and here's my baby.

Charlie, thank you for a wonderful evening.

No. I want to thank you.

You go around from town to town with a dog,

You forget how to talk to people.

I just wanted to say, you know...

You're a good girl. You're a good girl.

I kind of like dog people.

How old did you say I was again?

7. - Yes!

Well, today's the big day.

Honey, you just remember--

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose.

We'll love you just the same. Right, everybody?

Look, rover, you lose this race,

You won't be the only one around here eating alpo.

Alpo--79 cents a can, bob.

We better get going. You ladies need a lift?

That would be wonderful.

We'll get our purses.

I'll get the muzzle.

That won't be necessary.

We give her one beer at the track, and...

Oh. You're talking about your dog. Of course.

I know you'll do your best,

But if you should lose,

There's always next time.

I'm afraid if she loses,

There won't be a next time.

What do you mean?

Racing dogs only get so many chances.

If she loses today, I'll have to put her down.

I don't think insulting her is going to help.

By putting a dog down,

I mean putting her to sleep.

What?

But she's still so young and healthy.

That doesn't matter.

If a greyhound loses several races,

We don't have a choice.

It's their winnings that pay the kennel costs,

The trainers, and everything.

Well, that still doesn't make it right,

And I want nothing to do with it.

No, I'm serious.

I think I gained 10 pounds this morning.

Come on. You got a great figure.

Aw, you're too sweet.

I better go find roland,

Let him know I'm back.

And thanks for brunch.

Hey.

My pleasure.

Bye.

Hey, rol. What's happening?

Wow. That's cool, man.

How do you get that big vein in your head

To bulge out like that?

Lips! You kissed my mom on the lips?

They call me chuy the lipo--

Hey!

Hey, man, it was just an innocent little peck.

My mom's going through a messy divorce right now.

She's vulnerable.

She doesn't need your innocent pecks.

I got news for you.

You mother could do worse than miami's top chef.

I wouldn't mind that.

I just don't want her dating you.

Is this a racial thing?

No. It's a chuy thing.

That's it. I don't have to take this.

Just stay away from her, all right?

Why don't I just stay awafrom you?

But if your mom and I ever do get married,

You can kiss that father-son picnic goodbye.

They rent these for 5 bucks.

What a ripoff. You can hardly see a--

I'm just a walking joke to you, aren't I?

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

There's been a scratch in the next race--

Number 7, darling flo.

Darling flo has been scratched

From the next race.

What?

You'll never guess what happened.

Somebody stole my dog.

O.K.

Now, sit, spot. Sit.

From now on, you're a dalmatian fire dog.

Would you like a dog yummy?

Here you go. Here you go.

How's that?

Rose.

Why are you back so soon?

You won't believe what happened at the track.

Get out of here.

I didn't tell you what happened yet.

Oh. I know.

I was just... Talking to the devil.

You were saying?

Somebody stole mr. Sardisco's dog

Right before the race.

You're kidding me.

Hey, I love this stuff.

No, sophia. I wouldn't--

Boy, this brings back memories.

Of what?

It's the same trail mix

They served us at shady pines.

Woof! That's good.

Is chuy in here?

Haven't seen him. - Good.

Have you had a tiff?

I'm a grown man. We don't have tiffs.

We had - an out-and-out fight.

Who threw the first punch?

Well, we had a tiff.

Rose, cheesecake.

Tell us what happened. What is it?

Chuy and my mother are...

They're seeing each other.

Yeah. Well, that's great.

But wait a minute.

If chuy married your mom,

That would make you--

A convicted killer.

Roland, I know why you're upset.

No matter how old we are,

It's very difficult for us

To think of our parents as sexual beings.

I think blanche has a very--

Oh, my god.

Not my parents! Not my parents!

Easy, rose. Easy.

Not your parents.

I'm sure that after you,

They didn't want to take that chance again.

I'm just worried about my mom.

She's an old woman.

She's practically 50.

I've just said something really awful, haven't I?

Your mother's life didn't end

Just 'cause her marriage did.

Be glad she's out there living

Instead of watching it pass by.

Yeah, but why chuy?

So she's seeing chuy.

If he makes her happy, that's all that counts.

I guess. - I got to take a walk.

I got to think.

I know what you're going through,

But things could be worse.

I mean, your mother could start dating chuy.

Ha ha ha ha!

I drifted during the conversation, didn't I?

Did you find out who stole your dog?

Yeah. She's sitting right here.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Cut the dumb act.

Believe me, it's no act.

You knew what would happen to that dog.

One trainer saw a blonde

Sneaking around the training room.

Believe me, she's no blonde.

Charlie, if rose says she didn't take your dog,

Then she didn't.

I'd bet my reputation on it.

[arf arf]

Oh, well. No big loss.

Oh, look. It's spot, the dieting fire dog.

Charlie, I'm sorry about this.

I had no idea.

You won't press charges, will you?

I just want my dog back.

I know she thought she was doing what was best,

But she doesn't understand our sport.

I understand your sport all too well.

I made some calls,

And frankly, I think your sport stinks.

Rose!

They kill these greyhounds.

According to the humane society,

They kill 50,000 of them a year.

If a dog loses several races,

They consider it useless,

And they kill it.

We take care of our dogs.

They eat good. They lead a good life.

Compared to what?

And for how long?

I don't understand how people can keep letting this go on.

Something outlives its usefulness,

And you destroy it?

Well, sophia can't work as hard as she used to.

It costs money to feed and clothe her.

Maybe it's easier to put her to sleep.

Tell him, rose.

She is just trying to prove a point, isn't she?

You're one of "those" people.

I'll never get through to you.

If, by one of "those" people,

You mean somebody who thinks

Killing 50,000 dogs a year is horrible,

Then I guess I am.

I've got darling flo entered

In tomorrow's second race.

Blanche, you want me--

No. I'm one of "those" people, too.

Mrs. Petrillo, what about you? She's got a chance.

I don't want to be on the price is right that badly.

Suit yourself.

No. Wait. Flo. Blanche?

I know, I know,

But, honey, it's his dog.

I'm glad you guys are back.

Chuy, you still mad at me?

He's not the only one.

He told me what you said.

Roland, what's your problem?

I'm sorry, mom. O.K.?

I was just being overprotective.

Chuy, it's not you, man. It's any guy.

If you want to be together, that's your business.

You mean that?

You spent the day together.

I'm not freaking out now.

Where'd you guys go, the beach?

Can I tell him?

Yeah. Sure.

We went to the mecca hotel--

What? I'll kill you!

Taking my mom to some sleazy hotel!

Roland, he took me to a divorce support group.

Divorce support group! Divorce support group!

I'm sorry.

That's how you get that big vein to bulge out.

Get out of here!

You're crazy, man.

I'm sorry. - I heard the word hotel,

And I thought that you two...You know.

You thought I'd be attracted to chuy?

Me and chuy?

Chuy.

Me? Me and your mother?

What the hell am I laughing at?

Why didn't you mention the divorce support group?

Because you'd give me a hard time about it.

It's great you and a bunch of crybabies

Get together regularly.

Some of those groups do very good work.

You're right. I'm sorry, man.

I was just joking.

Mom, I'm sorry, too,

But I can't deal with you dating yet.

Come here, baby.

Listen to me.

I can't deal with me dating yet.

When the time comes,

I can take care of myself, o.K.?

I'm a big girl.

All right.

I'll make a real effort to adjust to this.

O.K.

Hello there.

Hello.

I'd like a room, please.

You're not my daddy!

I'll never call you daddy!

How did darling flo do?

Ran a good race.

How did she do?

Came in fifth.

So where is she now?

Out in the van.

Mr. Sardisco, I'd like to take her.

You're going to have a dog running around the hotel?

I only wish I could,

But there's no room here.

So what'll you do?

Well, I called around.

There's this national greyhound adoption program.

They help you find homes for retired greyhounds.

I'll just keep her till I find someone.

If it were only that easy.

There aren't enough homes.

That's why we put so many to sleep.

Well, that's no solution.

If you can't find homes for them,

Maybe you shouldn't breed so many puppies in the first place.

And let others know

What wonderful pets these dogs make

So we could find more homes.

Do you understand?

You take the dog.

O.K.!

And one more thing.

Do something about those rental binoculars at the track.

Honestly. 5 bucks,

And all they do is make everything look smaller.

Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

I'll take care of it.

Rose, can I talk to you for a minute?

The neighbors just complained again.

Your little friend's at it again.

Oh, really? What's the matter?

She stole the newspaper, trampled the flowers,

Knocked that woman's husband down,

And then licked his face.

O.K. O.K. It's my responsibility.

I'll take care of it.

Sophia, you're grounded!

Captions copyright 1993 touchstone pictures and television