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1
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.
2
00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:02,997
- I've got three rules.
3
00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:04,216
Don't date co-workers,
4
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:06,215
don't move in with
co-workers you date,
5
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:10,137
and don't dump co-workers
you live with and date.
6
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:14,316
- Can I move back
in with you?
7
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,582
- Ugh.
8
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:18,674
[upbeat music]
9
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,073
- So, Neil Penderson,
that's our CEO,
10
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,421
will speak first,
followed by Glenn,
11
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:29,251
and then Neil will take
a few more questions.
12
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,210
Let's try and remember
this event is going to be
13
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,558
live-streamed,
so let's try to
14
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,988
avoid anything
controversial, okay?
15
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,686
- Laurie, by live-stream
16
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,343
do you mean in
the conventional sense,
17
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,077
like running water or...
18
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,168
- No, I mean you're
going to be filmed
19
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,047
and then broadcast live
to all of our stores.
20
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,178
- Oh!
21
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:48,050
- I'm sorry,
isn't the whole point
22
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,881
of a town hall
that you can ask anything?
23
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,399
- Oh, no, Jonah, are you
upset because they told you
24
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,973
it was one thing then yanked
the rug out from under you?
25
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,012
- Ohhhh.
[indistinct murmurs]
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,408
- When you say
all of the stores,
27
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,540
do you mean all the stores
in the St. Louis area--
28
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:04,633
- I mean all of our stores
across the globe.
29
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,113
- So, Earth.
30
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,723
That's fun.
31
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,423
- Ooh, I'm going to ask
what's the craziest
32
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,980
rich person thing
he's ever done.
33
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,587
- I bet it's something like
34
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,897
blowing up a cow
with a bazooka,
35
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,554
or hunting a person.
36
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,118
- Oh, that dude's definitely
played the most dangerous game.
37
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,116
- I'm...going to...
38
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,168
add that area
to this list.
39
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,133
- Uh, why can't we talk
about Myrtle?
40
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,132
- Uh, because we had
to fire Myrtle.
41
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,704
So we don't need people asking
those kinds of questions.
42
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,271
- What kind of questions?
43
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,918
- You know, who knows?
44
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:36,752
We're not hiding anything,
so I really couldn't guess.
45
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:40,402
- 7.594 billion people.
46
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,928
How are we not sinking?
I feel like I'm sinking.
47
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:47,113
[gentle music]
48
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:50,890
♪
49
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:54,416
- Oh. Hi.
50
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,812
- Hi.
51
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,155
- What are you
doing in here?
52
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,205
- I'm guessing
the same thing as you?
53
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,030
- Oh, right,
'cause you know me so well.
54
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,388
- Okay, fine, what Laurie said
about firing Myrtle was weird,
55
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,949
so I thought
I'd check her file.
56
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:07,946
What are you doing?
57
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,297
- Same thing.
58
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:13,047
- Well, I think
I can handle it, so...
59
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,349
- Well, you don't know
where it is.
60
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,525
- It's alphabetical.
61
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,350
- Do you know her last name?
62
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,488
Or were you just checking
under "M" for Myrtle.
63
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:26,023
- She's in my phone
as "Myrtle Old."
64
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:29,148
- Hmm.
Yeah, check "O" for Old.
65
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:32,112
- ♪ Borderline
66
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,892
♪ Feels like I'm going
to lose my mind ♪
67
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,200
- That's too many
of those things.
68
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:44,078
- It's medicine.
You can't have too many.
69
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,640
- Everything okay?
70
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,987
- Do you know how many
countries we have stores in?
71
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,388
China, France,
India, Mexico.
72
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,743
That's most
of the Small World ride.
73
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,353
- Yeah, but the only people
who are going to see it
74
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,963
are Cloud 9 employees
and the customers
75
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,833
that happen to be there.
76
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,825
- Yeah, I guess that's true.
77
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,227
- And even if there's, like,
78
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,360
a hundred people watching
in each store,
79
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,582
how many stores
are there world-wide?
80
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,411
- I don't know,
maybe 1,800.
81
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:12,019
- Right, so that's
like only 180,000 people.
82
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:15,021
Which is actually
a large number of people.
83
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:17,554
- You're not helping.
84
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,678
- Repeated absences,
bad attitude, insubordination.
85
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,852
I'm surprised Myrtle
wasn't fired sooner.
86
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,198
- No, look at these dates.
87
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,807
All of these are within
the last six months.
88
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,687
What--she just goes 30 years
without a single write-up
89
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,560
and overnight
gets bad at her job?
90
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:33,261
- Well, she was not great.
91
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,390
- No, I know, she's been
not great at her job
92
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,262
for 30 years,
so why all of a sudden
93
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,354
is Glenn writing her up?
94
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,262
- It's not Glenn.
95
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,347
Jeff Sutton,
Jeff Sutton, Jeff Sutton.
96
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,877
Since when does
a district manager
97
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,180
write up floor workers?
98
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,876
- We have to talk to Jeff.
99
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,103
Or I have
to talk to Jeff.
100
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,362
- Well, I want to
talk to him too.
101
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,615
- Well, you can talk to
whoever you want.
102
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,707
I'm not in charge
of who you talk to.
103
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,146
- Jonah's a jerk,
by the way.
104
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:59,633
You deserve
so much better.
105
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,334
- Thanks.
I appreciate that.
106
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:05,422
- So what are we
going to do to him?
107
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,642
Revenge porn
on the Internet?
108
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:11,642
Give his credit card
info to a bum?
109
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,246
- Or...
110
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:16,686
maybe someone tells the cops
he's cooking meth.
111
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,954
Then, uh-oh,
there's an ounce of it
112
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,387
found in his sock drawer.
113
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,094
How'd that get there?
114
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,611
- Wow, that's aggressive.
115
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,825
- Or he's got two brothers.
116
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,435
Be a shame if something
happened to them.
117
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,266
Then he'd be all alone.
118
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,014
- Well...
119
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,445
I'm just going to go...
120
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,321
- Well let me know, Carol.
121
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:39,503
I've got nothing to lose
anymore.
122
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,068
[sighs]
123
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,330
- Thank you
for meeting with us.
124
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,113
- Yeah, well,
that's the beauty
125
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:51,117
of the ride-share game.
I go where I want when I want.
126
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,810
I meet tons of new people
and I get to listen
127
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,337
to what's on their Spotify,
and I love it,
128
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,472
and I'm really,
really loving it.
129
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,304
- Cool.
That's cool.
130
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,042
Can we talk about Myrtle?
- Yes.
131
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,783
I'm sorry, okay, so, um...
132
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,345
There was a mandate
to write up
133
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,702
any employee over
the age of 70
134
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:10,312
to give us a pretext
for firing them, okay?
135
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,703
It didn't matter for what.
136
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,396
I once wrote Myrtle up
for wearing gang colors,
137
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,274
and I know she's not a Crip.
138
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,836
- Why would they do that?
139
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,232
- Old people are slower,
they have higher medical costs.
140
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,316
- I was asking Jeff.
141
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:25,145
- Um...that.
142
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,334
- So, what you're saying is
Myrtle is now out there
143
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,681
collecting cans for coins
144
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,810
because you needed
to increase the bottom line.
145
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,943
- Look, that's just the
corporate culture over there.
146
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,935
It's the mindset.
Anything is justified
147
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,897
as long as
it saves a dollar.
148
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,556
Believe me,
if there was something
149
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,470
I could do to change that,
I would.
150
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,256
- Well, maybe there is.
151
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:48,001
- Hi!
Are you Alejandro?
152
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,313
- No, sorry.
153
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,790
- Oh, sorry, wrong car.
154
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,656
- Alejandro has five stars.
155
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,714
I'd love to meet him.
156
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:00,934
.
157
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,969
- We can't let corporate
get away with this.
158
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,324
- Yeah, if Myrtle
can be fired
159
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,504
just because of her age
then who's next?
160
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,669
- Probably Dale.
161
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:07,984
- I think Henry's older,
actually.
162
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,929
- It goes Henry,
Dale, Brett, Todd.
163
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,148
- Dude, Todd's like 40.
164
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,626
- Really? He looks bad for 40.
165
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,026
- Have you seen
his wife though?
166
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,379
Oh, she is so beautiful.
167
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,938
- Okay, guys,
can we bring it back?
168
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,195
- She's Nordic.
169
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,027
- Mm.
- Look, there is a plan.
170
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:23,685
It just means we all
have to work together.
171
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,251
- Right, exactly.
- Mm-hmm. Yep.
172
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,687
- So, you know how they're
going to live-stream
173
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,134
the town hall meeting
to the entire company?
174
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:32,831
Okay, so we're going to sneak
Jeff into that meeting.
175
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:36,000
- And then, he's going to
stand up in front of the CEO,
176
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,347
and the cameras,
177
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,357
and say why Myrtle
was really fired.
178
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,529
- Wait, you're asking us
to sign on for a plan
179
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,265
where Jeff is the key?
180
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,225
I mean, if it was any guy
named Jeff I'd be skeptical,
181
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,324
but he's not even
one of the top Jeffs.
182
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,803
- I'm right here, guys.
I'm on the phone.
183
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,283
- I stand by what I said.
184
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,852
- Couldn't they just say
Jeff is lying?
185
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,199
- Yes, except that
an e-mail went around
186
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,199
listing all
the employees over 70
187
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,461
and how much money the company
would save if they were fired.
188
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,375
- I don't have access to
the corporate server anymore,
189
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,600
but Laurie would
on her phone.
190
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,028
- Bam, there's our proof.
191
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,644
- And how are you going
to get her e-mail?
192
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:08,295
- That is the part
that we have not figured out.
193
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,040
- Okay, well, then I assume
you've figured out
194
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,471
how to get Jeff past security
195
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,388
or what to do if Laurie
or Neil recognize him.
196
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,784
Or how you're going to handle
them turning off the cameras
197
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,177
once Jeff starts speaking.
198
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,400
- So those are
the other parts
199
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,139
that we also haven't
figured out yet.
200
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,490
- Mm, solid plan.
201
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,530
- I have to ask,
202
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,234
is this the best day
to make waves?
203
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,491
Because I have to speak
204
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,144
in front of everyone
on the planet.
205
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,097
- Yeah, and do we even
want Myrtle back?
206
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,966
I mean,
she kind of sucked.
207
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,237
- Did someone say my name?
208
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,070
- Could you just tell us ahead
of time who all's on the phone?
209
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,719
- ♪ If you're blue and
you don't know where to go ♪
210
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,814
♪ Then why don't
you go where fashion sits ♪
211
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,164
- So are you sure
being stuffed
212
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,603
in a box in styrofoam
is safe?
213
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,080
- Yeah, it's totally safe.
They've done studies.
214
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,430
- What kind of studies?
215
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,741
- Okay, I'm going to chat up
216
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,078
the security guard
to distract him
217
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,477
while you drive
the forklift into the store.
218
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,520
- Um, I don't know how
to drive a forklift.
219
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,606
Maybe you could do it
and I could talk to the guard?
220
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,006
- You have zero charisma.
221
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,658
How are you possibly
going to chat up a guard?
222
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:08,882
- I'm a little worried I might
run out of oxygen in here.
223
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,933
- On it.
224
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,098
- Hey! No! Wait! Ahh!
225
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,894
- There's your air holes,
princess.
226
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,109
- Thank you.
227
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,925
- Hey, Laurie.
228
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,757
I made up
this seating chart
229
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,496
for the meeting today.
230
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,547
I was going to do it
in height order
231
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,683
but then it got
really female heavy in--
232
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,595
- None of this matters.
I don't care where people sit.
233
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:35,171
- Okay wait, I have
another question for you.
234
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,650
Are you a lesbian?
235
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,172
- People always ask,
how do I get enough protein?
236
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:45,738
Well, I got two words for you,
beans and nuts.
237
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,176
I always tell people
238
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,962
I'm nuts about beans
and I'm beans about nuts.
239
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,306
[laughs] I mean that second
half doesn't mean anything,
240
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,576
but it sounds like something.
241
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,359
It's more of a rhythm thing,
you know?
242
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:57,713
- Just 'cause you were
golfing with another woman.
243
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:01,324
I mean, not that two women
can't go golfing together.
244
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,186
It just sort of felt like
there was a little bit
245
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:07,458
of a thing going on
between the two of you.
246
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,333
Anyway, if you're single,
my veterinarian
247
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,065
just broke up
with her girlfriend
248
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:16,597
and, um, you know...
249
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,473
there is that.
250
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,564
- You can put cashew cheese
on pretty much anything.
251
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,693
And, I mean,
truthfully, right now,
252
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:25,956
we are in a nut cheese
renaissance, which is amazing.
253
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,740
There's so many different
options, it's just like...
254
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,175
- She's really pretty.
I mean, at least I think so.
255
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,702
I don't really know
what your type is.
256
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,566
But we haven't really
quite established
257
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,917
whether or not
you are a lesbian,
258
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,707
'cause you're just
staring at me.
259
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,492
This is a conversation.
260
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,666
You can jump right in.
The water's warm.
261
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,372
You know what,
this is none of my business.
262
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,759
- Yeah, not really.
263
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,672
- You know what,
my daughter's principal
264
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,717
just came out,
so that's another option.
265
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,203
Just, back of mind.
266
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,942
- I mean, they can
make milk out of
267
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:55,203
cashews, almonds, soy.
268
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:58,206
Then the grains,
rice milk, quinoa milk.
269
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,299
I mean how do you
get milk out of quinoa?
270
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,208
I have no idea about
the process, but it exists.
271
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:06,084
- Ooh, we should disguise
Jeff as Lana Del Rey.
272
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,737
He already
has long eyelashes.
273
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,571
- Ooh, that is true, but
they still might recognize him.
274
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,390
- You think?
- Check it out.
275
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,047
I got this camera patched
into their feed
276
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,661
so if they stop filming
when Jeff starts talking,
277
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,233
this little bad boy
keeps going.
278
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,450
- Oh, I know,
we could give him a wig.
279
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,230
- Yes!
Chey, you are such a genius.
280
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,795
- Oh, stop it,
you are the genius.
281
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,413
- You are.
- No.
282
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,723
- You know what, it actually
was really tough to do.
283
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,330
I had to figure out
how to set up a router
284
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,901
to transmit
into their signal.
285
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:37,248
- Did someone
ask you to do that?
286
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,938
- I'm just trying to be
part of the plan.
287
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,727
both: Aww...
288
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:43,902
- Feels weird to just be
289
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,427
scrolling through
someone's e-mails.
290
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,560
- Can't you just
search some keywords?
291
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:48,743
- Like what?
292
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,608
- I don't know,
ageism, discrimination.
293
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,740
- Oh, right,
"Hey team, how's the ageism
294
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:53,912
discrimination going?"
295
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,307
- That's a good point.
296
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,700
- Oh, Jane Austen Superfan
Convention Pics?
297
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,305
That's probably not it.
298
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,575
- But, we should probably
open it just to be safe.
299
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:06,839
- Yeah, let's not
take any chances.
300
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,283
- Thanks.
301
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,629
- Hey, so this is Glenn,
the general manager.
302
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,450
- Glenn, I've heard
a lot about you.
303
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,667
- You have?
What did you hear?
304
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,677
It's just that
there's another Glenn
305
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,679
that works here
and people mix us up.
306
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,772
Glenn is nice, though.
He's black.
307
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,212
Not--not "he's nice,
though he's black."
308
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,949
Just he's very nice
and very black.
309
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:31,131
Maybe it would help if I did
an impression of him for you.
310
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,388
Yo, yo, Glenn, my man,
can I get five--
311
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,651
- [stammering]
That's not necessary.
312
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,645
We're good.
Thank you.
313
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,398
- He knows his people.
- He's great.
314
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,179
- Not to be critical,
Cheyenne,
315
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,704
but I feel stupid.
316
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,837
- I think you look like
a hot, skinny Hagrid.
317
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,490
- Ooh...
318
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,063
That I can work with.
319
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,280
- [imitating Hagrid]
Harry, 'ello Harry.
320
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,890
Get me some
eye of newt, Harry!
321
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,451
[normal voice]
Good, right?
322
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,278
- Hey, okay, they haven't
found the e-mail yet.
323
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,806
- What?
- Don't worry.
324
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,419
They're going to get it
to you during the meeting.
325
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:02,549
Don't freak out.
You're going to be fine.
326
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,771
You look incredibly stupid.
327
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,732
- Thank you.
328
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:11,341
.
329
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,522
- As you all know,
330
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,948
a year ago this store
was hit by a tornado.
331
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,346
But they rebuilt.
332
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,868
And the man leading
that rebuilding
333
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,873
is a man who represents
the best of Cloud 9,
334
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,126
Glenn Sturgis!
335
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:27,658
[applause]
336
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:30,583
Here you go, Glenn.
337
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,139
- Thank you, Neil.
338
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:36,487
You know,
I love this store.
339
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,798
Cloud 9 is more than just--
340
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,845
[soft flatulence]
341
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,343
- I'm sure it's hard
to find the words.
342
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,394
But let me just say
on behalf of all of us--
343
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,169
- That wasn't me.
344
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,694
- I know.
No, it's fine.
345
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:03,828
- It was him.
346
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,480
So if you're laughing,
347
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,663
you are laughing
at our CEO.
348
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,270
I'm--I'm sorry,
Neil, go on.
349
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,881
- Um, okay.
350
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,751
Okay, and, um, just for
the record it wasn't--
351
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,754
you know what,
doesn't matter.
352
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,316
- Yeah, it doesn't matter.
353
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,842
You had a human moment.
354
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,836
Could have happened to anyone.
This time it was you.
355
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,058
- I'm not the one
who farted.
356
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,796
- Then how do you know
what happened?
357
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,147
For someone
who's so innocent,
358
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,546
you sure seem to have
a lot of information.
359
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,720
- You're the one who farted.
- You farted.
360
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,896
- No, you--
- You farted!
361
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,416
- Thank you, Glenn.
362
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,432
[scattered applause]
363
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,259
- He farted.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
364
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,871
- Right on me, and then
I dragged it over here.
365
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,393
- Did you find anything yet?
366
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,866
- Well, she Postmated
three times last night.
367
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,267
Whoa.
What's the story there?
368
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:55,229
- We don't have a lot of time.
- Oh, right.
369
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:59,059
Oh, okay, minimizing costs
by downsizing legacy employees.
370
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,319
- Yeah, that.
Pr--that. Print that.
371
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,712
- On it. Print.
372
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,235
Wait, she Postmated
ramen this morning?
373
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,240
Ugh, what's going on
with her?
374
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,942
- Hi, I am interested in
your decision-making process
375
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,240
for new products.
376
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,236
- Ah, great question.
We like to pay--
377
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,718
- Let's just say
I'm an entrepreneur,
378
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:16,897
which I am.
379
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,863
I am the founder and CEO
380
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,901
of Boob Cheese,
cheese from humans.
381
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:22,247
Now, breast milk is...
382
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,646
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where are you going?
383
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,208
- To the meeting.
384
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,335
- No, it's already started.
I can't let anyone through.
385
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,868
- This is obviously
going to be a game-changer.
386
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,002
Lots of stores that this
would be a great fit for,
387
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:36,875
such as, for example,
Target, Wal-Mart, Costco.
388
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,569
- No, but--but
we'll be so quiet,
389
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,706
and--and we've really been
looking forward to this.
390
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,009
- Besides, I think there are
some seats in the back.
391
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,926
- Well, you'd have to walk
past the cameras
392
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,841
to get there,
so if you can figure out
393
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,756
a way to like
teleport there,
394
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,801
or tunnel underneath,
be my guest.
395
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,537
- I'm sorry,
are you asking me
396
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,808
to carry human cheese
in our stores?
397
00:14:56,852 --> 00:15:00,732
- Oh!
I hadn't really--
398
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,209
This is unexpected.
399
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,949
Yes! Yes!
Why not? Let's do it!
400
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,951
- Laurie, I promise
nobody will notice us.
401
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,173
- No--no--no, Jonah,
it's okay.
402
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,301
We're fine.
We're cool.
403
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,484
- We cool?
404
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,961
- [coughs]
The tunnel.
405
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,143
- [whispering]
The tunnel.
406
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:22,269
- Well, I think
if you buy three packs
407
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,322
of hot dogs
and four packs of buns,
408
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,969
you should have
the right amount.
409
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,803
All right, thank you.
Well, you know,
410
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,970
I can't think of a better way
to end than that.
411
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,368
So I want to thank you for--
412
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,500
- No, wait,
I have a question!
413
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,073
- Uh...oh.
414
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:40,850
I guess we have time
for one more.
415
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,676
- Oh.
416
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,334
One last question, huh?
417
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,468
Guess I better make it
a good one then.
418
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,080
[laughter]
419
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,341
- [clears throat]
420
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,563
How...
421
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,081
do...
422
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,075
- Oh, [bleep], Garrett
says they're wrapping up.
423
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,167
We got to go.
- Oh.
424
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,476
- I was born right here
425
00:15:58,522 --> 00:15:59,872
in St. Louis,
426
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,525
and as you might know,
427
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:05,139
St. Louis was originally
established as a hub
428
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,971
for river-based trade.
429
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,229
- What are you doing?
430
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,011
- I'm just telling Garrett
we're hurrying.
431
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,876
- Well, don't text it.
Just do the hurrying.
432
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:16,888
- ♪ Oh Danny
433
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:22,632
♪ Boy I love you
434
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,247
♪ So
435
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:29,028
And that was
my great-great grandfather.
436
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,595
He's not relevant to this.
437
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,781
- Ugh, I touched rat droppings.
I need to wash my hands.
438
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,038
- There's no time!
Just don't touch your face.
439
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,742
- No! Now that's
all I want to do.
440
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,560
- So, I'm 18,
441
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:43,958
and I've woken up in Wahaca,
covered in furs.
442
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,217
You know what?
Never mind.
443
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,917
My question was
about self-checkouts,
444
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,054
and I just remembered you
already answered it earlier.
445
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,097
So I'm going to yield my time.
Thank you.
446
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,932
- [clears throat]
447
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,230
- Well, this has been great.
448
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,537
I want to thank you all--
449
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,062
- Hold on!
450
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,406
I've got a question.
451
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,665
- Look, I'm really glad
452
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:06,108
to see all this excitement
from our employees--
453
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,805
- I'm not an employee.
454
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,382
It's me!
455
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,417
Jeff Sutton!
456
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,117
- [gasps]
457
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,304
Oh, right,
I forgot for a second.
458
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:20,818
.
459
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,215
- I'm sorry, I don't...
460
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,608
- Jeff Sutton.
461
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:27,392
I was the district manager
before Laurie.
462
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,827
I worked with you
for 12 years.
463
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,143
At the counter,
I got your latte
464
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,490
that time
and you got my tea.
465
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:33,659
- Hmm.
466
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,104
- You know what?
It doesn't matter.
467
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,231
It's not about me.
468
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:38,062
It's about
another former employee
469
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,360
named Myrtle Vartanian.
470
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,576
- Okay, you know what?
471
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,894
I think we're really
out of time here.
472
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,760
- Who's Myrtle Vartanian?
473
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,371
- Myrtle is one of our more
474
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:49,162
experienced employees
who was unfortunately let go
475
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,718
due to performance issues.
476
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,195
- Except it wasn't
because of performance issues.
477
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,456
- Oh! Jeff Sutton!
478
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,418
Well, of course
I remember you.
479
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,946
Always drinking tea.
480
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,039
- Yes!
Jeff Sutton, that's me.
481
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,429
- What is this?
What's happening?
482
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,521
- It's not good.
483
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,819
- Myrtle.
484
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,035
- Yeah! Myrtle was
an employee here, and--
485
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,126
- You know what?
If I could ever persuade you
486
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,255
to come back to Cloud 9,
487
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:15,267
we could definitely
use a guy like you in Chicago.
488
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,271
- Chicago?
489
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,883
Hmm. Wow.
490
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:21,883
- No, Jeff, no, no, no, no.
- Yep.
491
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,576
- Anyway, you know what,
I'm sorry.
492
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,934
I interrupted you,
didn't I?
493
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,673
What were you saying
about Myrtle?
494
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,293
- Myrtle was a gang member,
and that's the reason
495
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,720
we had to let her go.
496
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,207
- That's why
you never trust a Jeff.
497
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,988
♪
498
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,032
- What a weasel!
499
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,778
- Jeff or Neil?
500
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,469
- Jeff!
And Neil!
501
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,596
And Laurie, too.
502
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,738
Just a whole
company of weasels.
503
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,130
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
504
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,003
- And you know what
the worst part is?
505
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,314
- Myrtle?
506
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,920
- Yeah, of course,
Myrtle.
507
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,830
You know what the second
worst part is?
508
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:58,825
- Huh?
509
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,616
- That I was
stupid enough to think
510
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,661
something might actually
work out in this store.
511
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,406
- I always kind of feel like
512
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,618
things are going
to work out.
513
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,497
- Yeah, you do, don't you?
514
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,188
What's wrong with you?
515
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:13,016
- Hey! There's my team.
516
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,244
- Oh, nice suit.
517
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,203
Is that from our
Benedict Arnold Collection?
518
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:19,032
- Look, I know how
this promotion might look,
519
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,420
but believe me
when I tell you
520
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:21,863
this is a good thing
for all of us.
521
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,639
- How is you selling out
good for us?
522
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,384
- Because now you have
a man on the inside,
523
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,815
at the top.
524
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,121
The inside top,
that's where you want to be.
525
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,778
- So, now you're
going to use your power
526
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,742
to help Myrtle
get her job back?
527
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,481
- Exactly.
Probably.
528
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,572
I mean, we don't want to rock
the boat too much at first.
529
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:40,051
Guys, we're playing
the long game here.
530
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,052
I will see you at home.
Great job today!
531
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,137
- [scoffs]
532
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,617
- Chill.
533
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,319
- I hope he enjoys his job
534
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,367
with CEO Neil Farterson.
535
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,722
'Cause he farted.
536
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,942
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
537
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:05,254
- Hey.
538
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,511
So are we okay?
539
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:11,425
- Look...
540
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:14,691
Uh, why don't we just
start over?
541
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,255
- Fresh start?
542
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:19,742
- Fresh start.
543
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:22,053
- All right, so--
544
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,619
[The Revivalists'
"Stand Up" plays]
545
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,278
♪
546
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:39,242
- ♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
547
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,591
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
548
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,241
♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
549
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,936
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
550
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,344
♪ Stand up
551
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,288
♪ Get down
552
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,207
♪ Take it away
553
00:20:54,253 --> 00:21:01,263
♪
554
00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:05,002
- Oh, my God.
How many buttons do you have?
555
00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,346
- A lot.
556
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:09,355
- ♪ Start taking
care of their own ♪
557
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,438
♪ Yeah
558
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:14,797
♪ So we gotta stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
559
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:17,618
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
560
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,797
♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
561
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:22,463
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
562
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:25,368
♪ Stand up
563
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,984
- Wait, do I need a...
564
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,325
- No, I'm already pregnant.
565
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,325
- Oh, right, that's awesome.
566
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:31,856
- Yeah!
- Great.
567
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:35,289
- ♪ Oh you gotta stand up
568
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,817
♪ Ooh yeah
569
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,861
♪ We're living
for this feeling ♪
570
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,867
♪ We've got nowhere to go
571
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:45,700
♪ Stand up
572
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:51,049
- Hey guys,
look what's on.
40989
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