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1
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00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:03,039
- A few last bits of
housekeeping--
3
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,171
We switched the aisle six
endcaps, so don't be alarmed.
4
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:10,644
The softball team will once
again not be happening.
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,808
And lastly, uh--
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:17,246
We found out that Jerusha has
an abnormally shaped uterus
7
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,615
which will prevent her
from getting pregnant.
8
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,523
So if any of you know any women
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:26,325
who might like to carry our
baby, you know, let me know.
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,430
Any questions about softball?
11
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,402
- [sighs]
12
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,100
- Okay then, well, Jeff,
the floor is yours.
13
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:35,173
- Yeah, thank you.
14
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,714
Thank you for
that warm reception.
15
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,438
- I mean, you're here a lot.
16
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,843
- True.
Today's not about me, though.
17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,714
It's about something big.
18
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,113
Bigger than all of us.
19
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,145
- Is it your forehead?
20
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,809
- No.
Hi, Mateo.
21
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,417
Um, sales are up this quarter.
22
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,519
We are within $80,000
of reclassification.
23
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,392
If we can make that
by the end of the day,
24
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:57,061
we will go from being
a triple-A store to a...
25
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,662
See where I'm going?
- No.
26
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,304
- Reclassified as a...
27
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,301
- Nobody's following you.
Just finish.
28
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:09,243
- Quadruple-A, guys.
We're gonna be a Quad-A store.
29
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,470
We're gonna be
a high volume store.
30
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,705
Whoo!
Huh?
31
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,781
Any questions?
Garrett.
32
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,609
- Abnormally shaped how?
33
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,445
- Oh, okay, well, if a woman's
uterus is normally shaped
34
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,681
like a V, Jerusha's is
kinda like a corkscrew.
35
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,417
Kinda like a duck's.
Wait, I'll--I'll draw it.
36
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,194
- I meant questions
about the reclassification.
37
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,492
- What are we now?
38
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,193
- Well, we're triple-A.
I just said that.
39
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,456
- So this would be
one more A then?
40
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,655
- Exactly.
41
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,766
Believe me,
you guys are gonna love this.
42
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,398
- So do we get anything or--
43
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,533
- Yes, you get
a sense of pride,
44
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,338
a sense of
accomplishment.
45
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,240
Quad-A stores are the first
to feature new products.
46
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,742
Once they take our cafeteria
47
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,543
and transfer it into a
Pizza Hut, there's gonna be--
48
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,875
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you just say Pizza Hut?
49
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,280
- Yeah.
[excited chatter]
50
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,784
- Like we're famous
or something?
51
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,616
- Uh, a point of clarification,
Jeff,
52
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,251
would it have the soda too?
53
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,388
- Yeah, I believe so.
[excited chatter]
54
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:03,763
- Oh!
55
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:07,661
- That's a formal Pizza Hut.
[indistinct chatter]
56
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,525
- There she is.
57
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,374
[upbeat music]
58
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,669
[lively percussive music]
59
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:19,666
60
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,237
- Give me the marker
61
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,335
'cause someone just made
a thousand dollar sale.
62
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,577
- It was Brett.
- I know.
63
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,312
I just like filling in
the thermometer.
64
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,347
It's very satisfying.
65
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,381
- Is Pizza Hut that great?
66
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,417
- When you've been here long
enough, any change is amazing.
67
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,292
Plus, it's like,
Where do you work? Cloud 9.
68
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,561
The regular one?
69
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,388
Uh, no,
the one with the Pizza Hut.
70
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,694
- It just--it seems odd that
Jeff waited until today
71
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,927
to tell us about all this.
72
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,561
And he was selling it so hard.
73
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:43,796
"Believe me,
you're gonna love it."
74
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,331
That's what my dad said
75
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,896
before he moved out
and got his own place.
76
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,874
- Oh, boo-hoo, poor Jonah.
77
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,242
Both of his parents
were homeowners.
78
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,541
What a tragedy.
79
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,812
- Actually, it was
his friend's condo.
80
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,280
That's not gonna help.
81
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,608
- You're just looking
for problems.
82
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,413
- Maybe, but there's
a Quad-A in Crestwood.
83
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,376
We could go over there
at lunch.
84
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,524
Check it out, maybe.
Just to be safe.
85
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,290
- I mean, it's not
the worst idea.
86
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:08,958
- Hey, keep your eye
on the prize, okay?
87
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,959
- That's a good point.
- Is it?
88
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,691
- You know, I honestly didn't
know how many candidates
89
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,797
we'd get from a Craigslist ad,
but--
90
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,899
- Wonderful things can happen
in all sorts of ways.
91
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,631
- I agree.
92
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,467
But you did see the part where
we said we couldn't afford
93
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,313
the going rate for surrogates?
94
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:28,438
I mean, I know the agencies say
it could be as much as $50,000.
95
00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,336
But we've only saved 20.
96
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,648
- Oh, 20's more than enough.
97
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,320
- Oh.
98
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,448
Of which we can
only give you 15.
99
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,754
- It's not a problem.
100
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,645
- Sorry, I meant ten.
- That's low, so--
101
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,317
- Okay, no, 15, 15, 15.
We agree on 15.
102
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,386
- Great.
- Okay.
103
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,455
- You should go with this one.
104
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:47,304
It's 4K.
105
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,598
- What does 4K mean?
106
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,830
- Oh, um,
107
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,736
The first K is "knowledge."
108
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,370
And then the second K--
109
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,406
- 4K televisions
have 8.3 megapixels.
110
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,412
The human eye is
literally incapable
111
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,454
of appreciating a
finer resolution than this.
112
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,249
- Wow.
Okay, I'll take it.
113
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,618
- There you go.
- Thank you.
114
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,764
- It has all of the channels.
115
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,630
- Okay, so Charles Marquard,
116
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,759
this is your
American Express Business card.
117
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,004
- Yep.
118
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,799
- And you don't have
an ID with you.
119
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,571
- Left it at the office.
120
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,039
- You'd like to purchase an
Xbox One and a pile of candy.
121
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,969
- Yeah, you know, for the kids.
122
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,074
- What kinda business you in?
123
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,376
- Oil and gas.
124
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,779
- Oh, you know if it was me,
125
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,380
I might pick up a second
Xbox to have one upstairs,
126
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,453
have one downstairs.
- Okay.
127
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,392
- You're a good dad,
Mr. Marquard.
128
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,388
[upbeat pop music]
129
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:52,561
130
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:55,563
- Okay, as soon as we hit
$80,000, drop the balloons,
131
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,466
hit the music,
get a candid picture of me
132
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,768
celebrating with everybody
to send to corporate.
133
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,369
- Got it, got it.
Hey, now let's talk dancers.
134
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,412
How many are we talking?
And--all dudes?
135
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,668
- Maybe no dancers.
136
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,636
- Music and balloons
with no dancers?
137
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,475
That's--gonna look insane,
but fine.
138
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,481
- Jeff.
Uh, new hat?
139
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,924
- Yeah.
I splurged.
140
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,618
You know, it's a huge day.
It's a very huge day.
141
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,551
- Definitely.
Um, we were wondering
142
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,917
if you could maybe
tell us a little bit more
143
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:25,085
about what we can expect
once this store becomes Quad-A.
144
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,625
- Oh, uh, well, yeah, I mean,
145
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,601
things are pretty much
gonna be the same.
146
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,970
- Well, but earlier you said
it would be better.
147
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,729
- Yes, obviously better.
148
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,997
Better and the same.
- Nice.
149
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:36,996
[chuckles]
That sounds amazing.
150
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,667
- Right.
151
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:42,576
Is there any possibility
that it could maybe get worse?
152
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,850
- You know what, there's a lot
of liars out there, okay?
153
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,379
Look for people who
have scores to settle, perhaps.
154
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,976
And don't believe
everything you hear.
155
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,847
- What would we have heard?
156
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,845
- Oh, I don't know,
but whatever it is,
157
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,987
it would've been untrue.
158
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,722
That's why
it's a paradox.
159
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,587
[laughing mockingly]
160
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,526
Believe me.
It's gonna be great.
161
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,762
Trust me.
162
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,497
- Man, I can't wait
for it to be great.
163
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,466
- So, what's next?
164
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,474
- You write me a check
and I can have a baby for you
165
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,666
in as little as a week.
166
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,608
- A week?
- Oh, is that too long?
167
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,614
I mean,
if you're really impatient,
168
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,945
I can get you one
earlier,
169
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,909
but you're not gonna
get to choose the color.
170
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,687
- Turns out that when
you can't pay top dollar,
171
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,489
the surrogates you get
are just a bunch of plops.
172
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,092
- Aw, I'm sure
you'll find someone.
173
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,533
- I don't know.
174
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,029
Sometimes I think
that maybe God is trying
175
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:37,031
to send me a message that
people in their late 50s
176
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,704
shouldn't conceive a child.
177
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,632
- [snickers]
That's crazy talk.
178
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,168
You guys are gonna
have a killer baby.
179
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,713
Everyone's gonna
wanna carry it.
180
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,068
- Yeah, right.
Would you?
181
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,677
- Of course, I would.
182
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,150
- Really?
You mean that?
183
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,749
- Absolutely.
- [gasps]
184
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,050
Thank you!
Oh, my God.
185
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,516
[lively music]
186
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:04,934
Jerusha, this is a blessed day.
I found her.
187
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:08,531
.
188
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,062
- Wow, it is busy here.
189
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,701
- Is it always like this?
190
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:17,073
- Welcome to the show, people.
Welcome to the show.
191
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,914
- Excuse me, hi,
sorry to interrupt.
192
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,809
Uh, can I ask you a question?
- Oh, sure.
193
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,811
- Do you like working here?
194
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,683
- I love working here.
195
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,112
It's the best job
I've ever had.
196
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,176
- Great. Thank you.
- Have a heavenly day.
197
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,115
- All right.
See? Best job she's ever had?
198
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,721
Where I come from,
something being the best thing
199
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,124
usually means it's pretty good.
200
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,485
- Oh, hey, sorry,
just out of curiosity,
201
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:41,255
what's, uh, what's the worst
part of your job?
202
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,134
- No part.
It's wonderful.
203
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,904
It's the best job
I've ever had.
204
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,773
Have a heavenly day.
205
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,001
- Did you hear that?
That was--
206
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,596
That was two
"best job I ever hads"
207
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,868
- It's a colloquialism.
Like, "It is what it is."
208
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,036
Or, "Women be shopping."
209
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,914
- Excuse me.
Hi.
210
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,753
Um, how long have you
been working here?
211
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,978
- Well, it's been
the best job I've ever had
212
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,983
for about 4 1/2 years.
213
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,915
Best job I've ever had.
214
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,151
Have a heavenly day.
215
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,956
- People love it here.
Obviously.
216
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,189
[upright bass music]
217
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:15,698
[shutter clicks]
- Ah!
218
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,199
- Oh, sorry about that.
219
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:21,840
Jerusha is making embroidery of
your face on a rabbit's body.
220
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,239
- Mm.
- To say thank you.
221
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,310
You know, and she wanted
something she could work with.
222
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,908
Could you profile?
[camera shutter clicks]
223
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,311
- So Jerusha's on board?
- Yeah.
224
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,953
It just means so much to us
that you're willing to do this.
225
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,852
- Means so much to me.
226
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:40,994
So she doesn't think that I'm,
you know, too young,
227
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,161
or irresponsible?
Or stupid?
228
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,490
- No.
229
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,194
- 'Cause, you know, if you guys
wanted to go with someone else,
230
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,627
I--I wouldn't be offended.
231
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,068
- Cheyenne, do you still
wanna do this?
232
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,800
- Oh--
[laughs nervously]
233
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,965
Yes.
Definitely.
234
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,635
Totally.
- Great.
235
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,883
- You just, you know,
try and stop me.
236
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:05,149
- I won't.
[laughter]
237
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,308
- Yeah.
The thing is--
238
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:10,747
Um...
- Ah, is it Bo?
239
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:15,222
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
It's Bo.
240
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,085
If it were up to me,
I would just say,
241
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,894
You put a baby in me
right now, mister.
242
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:24,697
But Bo, he just sucks,
you know.
243
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:28,142
- Yeah.
Bo sucks.
244
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:40,279
- Uh, hey, Len.
I'm--I'm Jonah.
245
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,253
How's it going today?
246
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,722
- [whimpering]
- Are you okay?
247
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,253
- Mm-hmm.
248
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,157
- Oh, she's fine.
She does this every day.
249
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,993
- Nothing.
250
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,227
- You guys aren't supposed
to be back here.
251
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,732
- Relax, we're legit.
252
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,074
- We work at
the Ozark Highlands store.
253
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,399
And we're about to go Quad-A,
254
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,273
so we just wanted to see
what that was like.
255
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,942
- [snickers]
They're quaddin' ya, huh?
256
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,772
- Yeah.
They're quadding us.
257
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,207
So, um, what's it like?
258
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,712
- Be straight with me.
Polo to polo.
259
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,675
- Honestly,
you're screwed.
260
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,249
- We cannot become a Quad-A.
261
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,685
- I don't understand.
- It's total chaos.
262
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,661
Everyday there is like
Black Friday.
263
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,290
It's hell.
- Hell on steroids.
264
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,994
- Isn't hell bad enough
without adding steroids?
265
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,757
- Everyone there
is exhausted all the time.
266
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,297
They are open 24 hours.
267
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,001
Which means they never
have a chance to catch up.
268
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,773
- So when do they
have time to clean?
269
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:38,212
- No, guys, we've come too far.
We are this close to Quad-A.
270
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,438
Now is not the time to--
271
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,142
- They don't let employees
eat the pizza.
272
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,244
- Withdrawn.
- So what do we do?
273
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,046
- We need to slow down sales.
274
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,108
- Guys, when do they
have time to clean?
275
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,317
- They don't.
276
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,818
- Well,
then it never gets clean.
277
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,380
- All right, you heard Amy,
guys,
278
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,448
let's cross that finish line
and become Quad-A.
279
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,057
- Marcus,
were you even listening?
280
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,329
- Sorry, I got a text earlier.
281
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,058
Honestly, I missed a lot of
what you guys were saying.
282
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:04,334
- Jah at the controller,
Bua bua bua yeah
283
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,804
Wha gwan rasta
Control the simma
284
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,304
- Bo?
- Oh, yo, what up, spouse?
285
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,466
- What're you doing here?
Where's Harmonica?
286
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,274
- Ah, she's at the zoo.
She's good.
287
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,076
- Oh, good.
Bo's here.
288
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:19,349
So, why don't we all go
have a chat, you know, and--
289
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,209
see if we can't change
your mind?
290
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,778
- Yeah, let's do this.
- Okay.
291
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,076
- What're we gonna change
my mind about?
292
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,317
- I think you know.
- Huh?
293
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:32,029
.
294
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:32,789
- Yeah, I called you,
and I was like,
295
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,497
"Please, Bo,
let me have Glenn's baby."
296
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,369
And you were like, "Nah, girl,
no way, no how, okay?
297
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,099
Squash that noise.
Peace."
298
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,444
- Wow, that's crazy, 'cause,
like, the way I remember it,
299
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,210
that never happened at all.
300
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,168
It's funny how perception is,
you know what I'm sayin'?
301
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,077
- Bo, is there anything
that Cheyenne and I can say
302
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,111
to help you change your mind?
303
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,476
- Mm, I don't know.
304
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,224
It's like, I wanna be
sex-positive, but, like,
305
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,990
on the other side of the hand,
306
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,249
thinking about my wife
banging an old couple--
307
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,758
- No, no, no!
308
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,220
- And would I get to go
with Jerusha?
309
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,227
- Almost definitely not.
310
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,329
- Well, I really wanna
do this for Glenn.
311
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,831
- Well, I guess I--
312
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,503
- But I also understand
your point that
313
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:14,131
me having another man's
baby might make you look
314
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,767
like some kind of--
315
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,213
I don't know--
a punk-ass chump or something.
316
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,008
- Yep, uh-huh.
317
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,370
- It--It's okay.
318
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,478
I--I accept your decision and--
319
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,381
Well, I'm disappointed,
you know.
320
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,083
I respect that you guys
won't change your morals
321
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,076
for a measly $20,000.
322
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,388
- 20 grand? Huh?
323
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,860
- Of course, for Bo,
it's not about the money.
324
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,389
- I didn't know
there was money.
325
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,994
I thought this was like
a dare or something.
326
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,386
Yo, for 20 grand you can stick
whatever you want
327
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,298
in either of us.
[laughs]
328
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,004
- Okay, everyone, I made some
quick shift assignment changes.
329
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,404
Henry, Elias,
you're in ladies' shoes.
330
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,996
Mateo, you're in sports.
331
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,238
- So what do I do?
332
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,842
- Oh, ah, Kelly,
you're on register.
333
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,414
- Oh, I've never done
that before.
334
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,282
- Oh, I know, you're gonna
be so bad at it.
335
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,510
- Hey, Ames, what about me?
336
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,475
- Oh, Marcus, yes,
you just float.
337
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,323
I want the customers to feel
like you're everywhere.
338
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,119
- Nice.
MVP.
339
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,151
- We also need someone to run
interference on Jeff.
340
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,416
Just keep him occupied with
stories that are boring
341
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,155
that no one
would ever care about.
342
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,430
- I--will do my best to act
like somebody who does that.
343
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,260
- You don't need to act,
I mean, you're brutal--
344
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,325
- Dina.
He knows what he is.
345
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,834
- All right, guys, listen up.
346
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,296
This is not a time for words.
347
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,973
But I should say
348
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,312
that this is a chance for
this store to become bigger,
349
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,368
to become more.
350
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,337
But if we work together,
351
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,436
we can stop that from
happening.
352
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,448
[chatter]
- All right, guys.
353
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,450
Bring it in.
On three.
354
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,882
- Okay.
- Ow, ow.
355
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,447
- Hold on a sec.
- Okay, okay, okay.
356
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,445
- No pushing.
- You just stepped on my foot.
357
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,357
- Okay, okay.
- Be gentle.
358
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,259
- This is gonna work.
359
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,261
[electronic dance music]
360
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:52,234
361
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,865
- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers,
362
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,571
there is a carbon monoxide leak
in the store.
363
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,543
It's the silent killer,
so you're gonna wanna go.
364
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,482
- Buying some apples, huh?
[chuckles]
365
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,409
- Whoops.
366
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,275
Nope.
Not that one.
367
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,454
- I mean, maybe it was
just who we are
368
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,481
collectively as a nation
at the time,
369
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,487
but things just really felt
like they could be solved.
370
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:20,960
371
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,364
- I can't let you buy these.
- What? Why?
372
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,096
- It's been recalled, sorry.
373
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,502
- All right, now it's buzzing
at me like it's mad at me.
374
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,274
[laughs]
Or something.
375
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,942
Making some fruit salad?
376
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,941
- My wife needs this.
I promised her I'd get it.
377
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,643
- She needs them?
Nobody needs coconut shrimp.
378
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,905
- Perhaps we've lost
some innocence.
379
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,105
Perhaps the collective
zeitgeist of the country
380
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,677
has soured.
381
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,424
- Here, let me help you
with that.
382
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,951
383
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,987
Whoo!
Not today, bro.
384
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,893
- Oh, we're in.
385
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,533
But it's not turning.
386
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,232
Ah.
Almost.
387
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,634
- But then it got good again,
388
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,165
so I guess ultimately
"Bloodline" was worth watching.
389
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,699
- While that's fascinating,
390
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,106
I'm not sure it
constitutes an emergency
391
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,669
that we need to talk
about right now,
392
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,307
so I gotta get
back in there, okay?
393
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,112
- Wait, no, no, no, wait, no.
That wasn't the emergency.
394
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:14,584
No, that was--that was just
pre-emergency small talk.
395
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,024
No, the, um, emergency
396
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,690
is, uh--
397
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,617
You.
398
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,164
- What're you talking about?
399
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,090
- Aw, Jeff, come on.
400
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,555
You're obviously going through
something and--and I--
401
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,964
I just want you to know
that I see you,
402
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:34,227
and I am here if you
ever wanna talk.
403
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,569
- I'd like that.
404
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,274
[stammers]
- Oh, you would, yeah, uh--
405
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,267
Cool.
406
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,578
- I'm torn.
407
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,479
On one hand,
that doesn't look good on you.
408
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,281
On the other hand,
what would?
409
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,978
- Yes, good work.
410
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,347
- I'm just saying what I feel
411
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,454
and people do not like
what they're hearing.
412
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,156
[chuckles]
I am a strong cup of coffee.
413
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,689
- We're still under and we only
have five minutes till closing.
414
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,185
- We might just
crap this bed yet.
415
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,527
[alarm rings]
416
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,961
["Hot, Hot, Hot"
by Buster Poindexter plays]
417
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,727
- What's happening?
418
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,365
- Did we hit our goal?
- No, wait.
419
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,740
This has to be a mistake.
We're like thousands under.
420
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,339
- No, we're not.
I couldn't stop him.
421
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,672
- Hell yeah.
[vocalizes alarm]
422
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,637
Hot tub, son.
Ha-ha!
423
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,306
Like we always dreamed of.
424
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,345
It's gonna be like living in
a Holiday Inn Express.
425
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,350
- We can't afford a hot tub.
- We got 20 grand now.
426
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,293
That's literally an
infinite amount of money.
427
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,518
- No, Bo, you have
to return that right now.
428
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,624
- Can't. It's a floor model.
No returns.
429
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,087
- So what does that mean?
430
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,225
431
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,400
- Congrats.
We're officially Quad-A.
432
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,229
May God have mercy on us all.
433
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:43,195
- Feelin' hot, hot, hot
434
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,136
- This is a disaster.
Why are you dropping balloons?
435
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,113
It's not my fault
canceling balloon drop
436
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,411
looks the exact same
as dropping balloons.
437
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,246
438
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:55,221
- You think you know where
your life is going.
439
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,679
And then suddenly, you're 40,
440
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,447
running a rat race
you don't even understand.
441
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,746
You're trying to fix
everything on the outside.
442
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,417
So I get the boots,
I get the earring.
443
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,815
I get the lipo.
- The hat.
444
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,356
- What's wrong with the hat?
The hat's working.
445
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,233
- Exactly.
Yeah, nothing.
446
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,562
- Where was I?
447
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,227
- Okay, so I put all
the important dates
448
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,296
on this
pregnancy calendar, see?
449
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,805
Like the implantation
and the ultrasounds.
450
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,608
So I guess you know
what you're gonna be doing
451
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,480
with all your free time
for the next nine months.
452
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:27,850
- Great, I'll be pregnant
when it's really hot.
453
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,220
That's fun.
454
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,648
- Cheyenne, do you
really wanna do this?
455
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,686
- Mm-hmm.
456
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,792
I'm really happy about it.
457
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,859
- The deal's off.
458
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,333
- No, I can do it.
459
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,762
- I don't want you to.
460
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:47,826
Because I don't want my baby
carried by a huge stinker,
461
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,637
like you.
- I'm a stinker?
462
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,269
You're a fat bitch.
463
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,814
Oh, wait,
you're being nice.
464
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,510
- No, I'm not being nice.
I'm being mean.
465
00:17:56,543 --> 00:18:00,153
And--now I don't want
a big stinky baby
466
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,850
from a big stinker like you.
467
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,881
Get out of my office.
468
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,816
You're stinking up the place.
469
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,192
Pee-yew!
Ugh.
470
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:11,821
Go take a bath
in some tomatoes.
471
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,228
- [sighs]
472
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,231
Quad-A, after all.
473
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,203
We were so close.
474
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,501
- I just gotta say--
475
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,302
Been a privilege
taking breaks with you guys.
476
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,535
Sitting here,
looking at my phone,
477
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,741
while you guys are
looking at your phones.
478
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,644
I'm gonna miss it.
479
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,275
- We never appreciated
what we had here.
480
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,481
- Let's relax.
It was a crappy store.
481
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,854
- Yeah, fair enough.
482
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,782
- It'll be fine, you guys.
483
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,717
We'll clean as we go.
484
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,618
We'll clean as we go.
485
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,256
- How do you get money stains
off your hands?
486
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,533
- What're you talking about?
487
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,230
- You know how when
you handle money,
488
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,302
the ink comes off
on your hands?
489
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,703
- Another counterfeit.
490
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,804
- But I used the pen thingy
and it was yellow.
491
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,766
- Yeah, that means fake.
You want brown.
492
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,535
- I thought it was,
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
493
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,673
Wait, no, that's piss.
494
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,778
- There are so many of these.
495
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:04,880
- Where we at?
496
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,484
- We're not Quad-A.
We did it!
497
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:10,816
[excited chatter]
498
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:15,290
- Alright!
- You tiny little fool.
499
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:18,532
- We're not number one.
We're not nu--no.
500
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,288
It doesn't work as well.
501
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:23,397
- I guess it was when Mateo
dumped me, you know, I just--
502
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,760
I just dove into my work,
503
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,767
'cause I thought that would be
fulfilling, but--
504
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,699
So here I am, on the cusp of
having a Quad-A store
505
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:33,466
and it's like, I don't even
know if I want that, you know?
506
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,206
- Oh, actually,
we didn't make Quad-A.
507
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,713
- What? Dammit.
508
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:41,414
- Oh, no, it's gonna be--
- No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
509
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,218
This is bad.
I can't go home, Jonah.
510
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,621
I'm [bleep].
I'm [bleep].
511
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,593
I bought a Subaru!
That money's gone!
512
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,362
Gone.
I couldn't wait a week?
513
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,891
One week.
No discipline.
514
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,626
[bleep]!
515
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,373
- Hey, Glenn.
- Mm.
516
00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,998
- Just wanted to let you know
we didn't make the target.
517
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,632
No Quad-A.
518
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,368
- Oh, okay.
519
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,374
- You all right?
- Hmm?
520
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,576
Yeah, I'll be fine.
521
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:11,338
I was so close
to having a baby.
522
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,878
But--
523
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,782
You wanna be my surrogate?
524
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,554
- The idea of
carrying your child
525
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,353
makes me wanna put
a bullet through my uterus.
526
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,845
- I was joking.
527
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,486
I wouldn't want you
to carry my baby
528
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,021
if you paid me
the $20,000.
529
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,586
- Wait, you're paying $20,000?
530
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,756
Just for someone
to squirt out your kid?
531
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,255
- Well, yeah,
a little bit more.
532
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:34,628
- I mean, that's practically
what I take home in a year.
533
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:38,337
I could fix up my house.
Pay off my credit card bills.
534
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:41,011
I could put my mom away
for good with money like that.
535
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,540
- Well, I mean--
536
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,746
If that's something you wanted,
I could think about it.
537
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:49,479
- I mean, if you
were interested
538
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,916
then I would
think about it.
539
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:56,461
- It's not something I want.
- Oh, I would want it far less.
540
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,074
Okay.
- Okay.
541
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,528
- This is cool.
542
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,797
You know, I've always wanted
543
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,535
to have a family of
my own someday,
544
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,670
so it'll be great
to have a practice baby
545
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,044
where nothing matters.
546
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,342
- Wait, wait--
- Like, whatever happens to it
547
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,635
happens to it, you know?
[chuckles]
39769
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