All language subtitles for Superstore s04e05_Eng

- Hey guys, we're heading to
the hospital to have the baby.

- Oh, my God.
Are you in labor?

- No, but the baby's a week
late so we are inducing

and it's no fault of Dina's

that she did not deliver
on schedule.

- Yeah, well, by the way you
only paid me for 40 weeks

so I
will be charging you overtime.

- Well, when I don't get
a package on time

the shipping company gives me
a refund and an apology.

Anyway, you all have my
cell phone number

but only call
if it is a true emergency

like a fire, or a big storm,
or a robbery, okay?

- What if a celebrity comes
in the store like Alec Baldwin,

or Billy Baldwin,
or Stephen Baldwin?

- It doesn't matter which
Baldwin--

you don't need to call.
Just enjoy.

- Uh, Glenn,
can I give you a call

if I really, really,
miss you?

- Aww, of course you can.

Any other questions?
Yes?

- Do you have any room
in your car?

I think maybe my water
just broke.

all: Oh!
- Oh, my God.

- No, no. You're not due
for another three weeks.

- Oh yeah, that's right.
Never mind.

- Thanks a lot, Amy.
You got it on my shoes.

- Oh, no, those shoes
were so cool.

- 'Kay, come on.
Let's get to the hospital.

- I'm gonna get your stuff.
- Thank you.

- Oh, what?

- See Dina?
Amy had her baby early.

Was that so hard?

- You're such a kiss-ass.
- I didn't choose today.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Okay, I got your fluffy
socks, your cellphone charger,

also got a copy of "Us Weekly"
in case you wanted to see

a four-page spread of
Gwen Stefani pumping gas.

- Ah, I love it when they pump
their own gas.

- Hey, Amy!

Look quick--I see a
hummingbird out my window.

Do you see it?
- Uh-huh.

- I don't think you're
really looking.

- I am.
- What color is it?

- Green?

- Yeah, okay.
It's nice, right?

- So nice.

- Okay, uh, you seem to be all
set, so I guess I'm gonna go?

- Oh.
- I mean, I don't have to.

- I'm fine staying here--
- No, no, no, no.

- Or if you want me
to stay I can--

- You can go if--
- [stammers] You tell me

what you want me to do.

- Um, well, I mean,

I don't want you to feel
like you have to stay,

but I don't want you to feel
like you can't stay.

- Okay, cool, so then
I'll just...

Sorry, still no idea.

- I think I want you here,
but, like, not here-here.

Just like, around.

You know how like at
The Cheesecake Factory

they give you a buzzer
and you just have to stay

within a certain
radius?

- Buzzer radius, got it. Okay.
So, yeah, I'll just stay

in the general vicinity
at an appropriate distance

for a guy you're dating
who is not the father.

- Oh! The father.
I should tell Adam.

- Yeah.

[Seal's "Kiss from a Rose"]

♪ My eyes become large

♪ And the light that
you shine can be seen ♪

- That makes no sense.
You would get sick.

- I'm not saying you
wouldn't get sick.

I'm just saying that every
arrangement

is technically an
edible arrangement.

- Glenn, today is all
about Dina.

If she wants to eat
the flowers,

let her eat the flowers.

- Knock-knock. Hi.

I'm Dr. Sidian, I'm the
attending on the floor.

- Holy crap.

- I know Dr. Meyer is on her
way, but in case you guys

need anything before she
gets here,

I'm around.
- Yeah.

- Any questions, pain meds,
perfect martini.

- [laughing]
Martini.

[as James Bond]
Shaken, not stirred, Mr. Bond.

- [laughing]
That's Dr. Bond.

- Oh, wow, yes!
- I'm around. Give me a call.

- Yeah, he's an attractive man.

- I think we should switch
to Dr. Sidian.

- No, but we've been seeing
Dr. Meyer for nine months.

- Yeah, I just feel more
comfortable with this guy.

Honestly, I was never
a Dr. Meyer fan.

I didn't want to say anything
but during one of our exams

she was accidentally looking
into my butt the whole time.

I think she got confused,

and I felt bad
correcting her.

- Glenn, this is about Dina
and her needs.

If she feels more comfortable
with this doctor,

then that's all
that matters.

- Fine, we'll go with Doctor
Stranger-we-just-met.

- Thank you, Jerusha.
Also, for my comfort,

would you be able to go
to my apartment

and get this camisole?

It's silky, very sheer,

and also my
make-up bag?

- Sure, whatever you need.
- Thanks.

- Oh, and honey, watch out
for the bird.

She has a falcon now.

- Ah, will do.
- Okay.

- And grab a push-up bra!
- Okay!

We parked this way.

- Oh, my God! All right,
yeah, awesome, great.

I've just gotta drop off my
friend Steve at karate

and I will be right there.
Which hospital?

- Uh, Mercy Vale Medical
Center, room...

- 417.

- 417.

- Was that Jonah?

- Uh, um, yes?

That--that is Jonah.
He's here...

and so is Glenn.

And Dina. The whole--the whole
funky bunch is here.

I gotta go, I'll see you soon.
Okay, bye.

- So Adam doesn't know
about us?

- No, because I--I--I didn't
want to tell him.

- Oh.
Okay.

- I mean, not--not--not because
we're doing something wrong.

It's just that, um...

Just didn't seem like that
big of a deal.

- Oh, okay, well that
makes me feel better.

- Okay, I'm having everybody
sign two cards.

One for Amy and the whole
Glenn, Dina, Jerusha mess.

I thought the butterflies was
perfect for Amy because,

you know, she's entering a new
phase in her life

and this one has balloons
because, you know, Glenn.

- Little more information
than I need, but...

- Thank you.
"Happy 0th birthday."

Cute.

- Wait, wait. Hold up.
What's wrong with that?

- Oh, nothing. This is fine.
It's funny.

- I mean, I wasn't, you know--

I was just going off
the top of my head.

I wasn't trying to be, like,
hilarious or anything.

- Okay.

- You know, I'm gonna take
another look at it.

- Up to you. Just pass it
along when you're done.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[chuckling]
Yes.

Nah.

- Hi, can I get the dad's
insurance card?

- Oh, no, he's not the dad.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't
mean, "He's not the dad,"

like I was having an affair

and got knocked up
by some rando.

I just mean that the man
I had sex with,

he is the father of
this baby.

- I understand.

I'm not a nurse
but we take a class.

The reason I'm asking is we
don't accept your insurance.

- What?

- Oh, but her coworker's having
a baby in the next room

and you take their insurance.

- Well, looks like they're on
a different plan.

They have health shield bronze
and what you have is different.

- And by different you mean...?

- Worse.
It's worse.

- Of course. Corporate takes
care of the managers

and the rest of us
get the scraps.

- Can we please not do
all of that right now?

- So, you could pay out
of pocket,

but the room is about
two grand a night.

- Whoa.

- Or there's a clinic nearby
that accepts your insurance.

- Okay, and the clinic is good,
right?

- It's been there for years.

- That didn't answer
my question.

Oh, God.

[overlapping coughs]

- Can I finish complaining

about healthcare
inequality now?

- No.

.

- Can't believe my baby's going
to be born in a hospital

that looks like an escape room.

- I--I like it here.
That other hospital was snobby.

- This is, um-- you know,
this is down to Earth.

It's connected to the
community. It's diverse.

- I don't want diverse
right now.

I want to be in the hospital

where only rich white
people go.

I want to feel deeply
uncomfortable

that I'm the only
brown person there.

- We just have to make
the best of it, okay?

Honestly, you look around,
it's kinda roomy once you--

Oh, my God.

Uh, hi, sorry. I'm Jonah.
This--this is...

- Is she sleeping with her
eyes open or...

- Yes, let's go with that.

- Ah.

- Hey Garrett, do you have
the baby cards?

I need to sign them.

- Yeah, I'm just putting
the finishing touches on it.

- Oh, boy.
Mr. Hilarious at work.

What are you writing?

- Um, well,
you are about to see.

- Ah, I love
the creative process.

I bet it's gonna be so funny.
Here we go.

I can't even imagine all the
ideas in your head right now.

I bet even the bad ones
are genius.

- Yup, uh-huh, but you know,
I just need to concentrate.

- Okay, oh, boy.

You are really cooking up
something good.

I can smell the creative
juices.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

- Your hours must be
pretty crazy, huh?

All those late night pages

putting a real strain on
the marriage.

- I'm not married.

- Oh, wow. Didn't realize we
were getting so personal.

- I'm not married either, so,
something in common.

- Well, I am married,
but I wish I wasn't

'cause then I could hit
on this bodacious babe.

- Glenn, that hurts my
feelings.

[whispering]
- Oh, no, it's for Dina.

She really likes him.

- Oh.

You know, I've never been with
a woman before,

but I would
switch over for Dina.

- Well, not happening.
I'm, uh--I'm very straight.

- I'm gonna check your
cervix now.

- Oh, man am I jealous of you,
buddy.

[Rick Springfield's
"Jessie's Girl"]

♪ And she's loving him
with that body ♪

♪ I just know it, and he's
holding her in his arms ♪

- [laughing]
This is a funny card.

- Huh?

- "Congrats on your
new bundle of joy.

If you'd like to name them
after me, that's cool."

Pretty funny, right?

- That card's blank.

- Just, is it funny or not?

- I guess it was cute.

- Cute.

- Are you still working
on the cards?

Just write anything.

They're just going to throw it
away anyway.

- No, I'm gonna sign
the damn cards.

- Hey, do you guys sell

interfaith wedding cards
for dogs?

[uncomfortable groaning]

- That's a contraction, right?

- Yep.
- Okay.

- Just assume today that
anytime I make this face

and these noises
it's a contraction.

- Yeah, got it.
Got it.

Where is the doctor?
This is crazy.

- I'm gonna--I'm gonna
page him.

- Oh. It just kinda fell
into darkness.

- It's fine, it's fine,
it's totally fine.

Women have been birthing
for thousands of years

in all kinds of
disgusting places.

In the woods, in caves,
with wolves and coyotes

lurking to eat them
and their young.

I'm in a hospital;
I at least have a blanket.

And that is an old Band-Aid.

- Okay, that's--that's it.

I'm gonna pay for
the nice hospital.

- What?

- No, I can--I can afford it
between what I have in my bank

and my credit cards.

No, I'm not gonna let you
do that.

- Why?
Why not?

- Because, that's just, like--
We're not really at the--

no, that's--it's weird.
But thank you.

- Okay, all right, well that's
one vote for no,

one vote for yes, uh,

why don't we have your
roommate break the tie?

- Okay, let's go,
but I'm paying you back.

.

- Oh, it's so clean
and comfortable.

And the air smells so good,
and these pillows.

This is an unbelievable pillow.

We should come back here.

- I'm glad you're happy.

- Hello, again.

- Hey, girl.
So glad to be back.

- Okay, and as far as
the payment goes?

- Yes, um, Jonah?
Pay the nice lady.

- Right, okay, so if you could
put $500 on each of these cards

and then I'll write you a check
for the other $1,000.

- Okay, and how would you like
to pay for the rest?

- The--you said it was $2,000?

- Yes, for the room, but then
you have delivery doctor,

lab fees, anesthesia.

Altogether you're looking
at about $20,000.

- For one baby?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, God.

- So, I'll let you two
figure out

what you want to do, although,
well you know.

- Guess we're going
back to the clinic.

- [sighs]

- You're taking the pillow?

- You mean the pillow that
I brought from home?

Yeah, why wouldn't I?

- Okay, so we need to come up
with one good message

that's from all of us.

- What's wrong with the ones
that we already wrote?

- Uh, well, a lot of them
were offensive.

And I'm not gonna name
any names,

but it was Carol.

- What?

I wrote,
"Welcome to the world."

- Mm-hmm, yeah, the world

that's full of violence
and racism

so, welcome to violence
and racism.

Nice, Carol.

- Nice job, Carol.

- You know I can fit 40
cherries in my mouth?

Any more than that
and I throw up.

- Okay, then don't do that.

- [chuckles]

- So, baby's fine. It's in
a transverse position, though.

It's sideways.
I thought I could turn it

but we're gonna
have to do a C-section.

- Oh, goodness.
- Oh.

- Surgery. Where you,
uh, cut me open, huh?

- Uh, nope. Actually, this way.

- Oh. East/West situation.

- That's correct.
- Okay.

- I had an aunt who tore from
her anus

all the way up
to the front.

So...

- [groaning]

Oh, God. I should have
just done this at home.

My Aunt delivered her baby
in her Jacuzzi

and he turned out fine.

No, actually he sucks.
His parents are Jacuzzi people.

- Okay, just--just breathe.
You're doing great.

- Ahhhhhh.

- That's right, just pick
a point in the room

and focus on it, okay?

- Okay.
- No, no, no. Not the corpse.

Not the corpse.

- It's too late,
I'm locked in.

- Hello, and how are we today?

- Ohhh, um, old?

No, no, sorry.
Uh, I'm fine. You're old.

- Are you, uh,
are you going to be

the main doctor delivering
the baby?

- Oh, no.
That would be my father.

Just kidding.
- Ha ha. Funny.

- Are you--are you, uh, looking
for something?

- I don't remember.

- How about,
"Best wishes from Cloud 9"?

- No offense, but I hate that.
- Yeah.

- What about, "Best wishes from
your Cloud 9 family?"

- Um, family feels a little
weird since a lot of us

are banging each
other. Guilty!

- I think we should write
something funny.

I mean, people like funny,
right?

- Yeah, okay Earl.
That sounds easier than it is.

Uh, why don't we not embarrass
ourselves by even trying.

- Yeah, but--
[chuckling]

I was thinking it could be
funny, because,

it's like so
twisted [laughing].

It makes you laugh, 'cause it's
like, crazy.

[laughing together]
- Right?

Am I right or am I right?
I'm right!

- He's right,
you should do that.

- Do what?
He didn't say anything.

[all cracking up]

- All right, on the next
contraction

you're gonna push
for three ten-counts.

- No, no, we can't
start pushing.

The father's not
here yet.

- I thought it was this guy?

- N-no.

- Who are you? The gay best
friend? I see a lot of that.

- No, no, no, I'm just--
I'm actually, um,

I actually, I don't know
what I am.

We haven't really
talked about it.

- [stammers] I don't know,
we're dating, maybe?

- Right, yeah. We'll see
an occasional movie

and then sometimes I'm there
when she gives birth to a baby.

- Well, I don't know Jonah.
What would you call it?

- I don't know.

- What would happen if we just
didn't do the surgery?

And the baby will eventually
work its way out

like a splinter, right?

I mean, life always
finds a way.

- Dina, you're gonna be fine.

And we'll be right down
the hall

waiting for you when
you're done.

- You're not gonna be in there?

- No, see, we're not doctors,

so we don't go into
the operating room.

We go to the waiting room.

- Actually, the parents are
usually in there for it.

- Okay, but, well, yeah,

we'll probably just
get in the way, so.

- Glenn, I think we should
both be in there for Dina.

- Okay, I get really squeamish
around blood.

- Maybe she doesn't have
a lot of blood.

- Don't go.

- O-okay.
- Okay.

- Right, you must be Dina Fox.
Hello, I'm Dr. Gillespie.

I'll be administering
the epidural.

- Damn, what is with this
place?

It's like "Grey's Anatomy"
in here.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- Let's go.

.

- I'd like to get up there
by Dina.

Oh you're coming here?
- Sir, I need to get in there.

- Okay, I'll go this way.
Oh, no. I'm trapped.

- Dina, everything's
going to be okay.

- Uh-huh.

It's a real professional
operation

they've got going on here.

There's computers and wires--
the whole nine yards.

- Huh. Could you play my music?

- No problem.

[carnival tune]

- Sorry, is this right?
- Yeah, it's my favorite song.

♪

Okay.
I'm ready.

- Obviously it's not just
about the sex.

- One, two...
- There are feelings there.

- We can talk about this later.
- Three!

- Maybe focus on this.

- I just think that there's
a lot going on between him

and the baby and it just seems
like a lot of pressure.

- It's totally cool, and we
can table this.

- ...ten, and stop.

- Stop talking or stop pushing?
- Both. Jesus.

- All right, here we go.

- Oh, no. Uh, maybe we could
turn her around.

Turn her around.
Oh, there's the blood.

Okay, we are in it.

- I see the head.

- Oh, thank God.
I have had the craziest day.

- I've had a pretty nutty
day too.

- Thanks for filling in.
- Oh, yeah, sure.

Um, guess this is yours.
- This? I'll get that.

- I'll just grab the other leg.

- Okay, thanks.

- Wow, there is so much blood.

Should someone do something
about that?

Okay, I'm just gonna close
my eyes.

Nope. Still kinda seeing it.

I'll pick them up.
I'll pick them up.

- One last push.
- Let's do this! C'mon!

Mm.
- Uh. Yeah.

- Huh? Huh?

Team!

- Jerusha.
I can see its little arms.

It's so beautiful.

Nope, these are just
the intestines.

- Oh.
- Glenn, are you okay?

- Uh-huh.
[gulp]

I--I didn't throw up.

- Nine, ten.
- [baby crying]

- It's a boy!
Congratulations.

And look at that.
A healthy baby girl.

Congrats, everyone.
- Thank God.

- Who's gonna cut
the umbilical cord?

- [stammers]
You should probably do it.

- Yeah, yeah.
I was gonna.

- Dina, you did it.

- Jerusha, I'm so happy.

- Hi.

Hi, little buddy.

Hi.
- Good heavens!

Did you know there's
a dead body in here?

Margaret! We got another
damn body!

- [coughing, retching]

[retching]

- I love you more than pot pies

and Christmas

and even little baby Jesus.

Don't tell anybody.

[both chuckling]

- Dina, we can't thank you
enough for giving us such

an amazing gift.

- I didn't get you a gift.

Oh, you mean the baby.

Yeah, you paid me for that,
so we're good.

Yeah. Um...

would it be okay if I had
a moment alone with her?

- Oh, yeah, of course.

- Oh, no thank you.
You can put it in its bin.

- You take all the time
you need.

- She's not gonna kidnap her,
right?

- No, I locked all the windows.

- Well, this is it
for you and me, kid.

I hope I gave you a good start
the past nine months.

Now, if you ever need anything,

you can always come to me.

But not on Wednesdays
or Fridays,

because I have crew practice.

All right, what else
can I tell you?

Never go camping
on your period.

If you ever find a pair
of shoes you like,

buy multiple pairs.

You meet a man with
a houseboat,

walk the other way.

That's an important one.

- Hey, little buddy.

He's not as squishy and purple
as Emma was.

- Mm-mm.

- She was so squishy.

- She's perfect.

You're perfect.

- Oh, wow. Uh,
look at the time.

I--I completely lost track.

I got a meeting--party.

I got a party meeting.

So, let you guys
have some time.

- Thanks.
- Sure.

- Yeah. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Hi. Hi.

- Here's your [bleep] card.

- He's had a big day.
But congratulations.

- Let's go!