All language subtitles for Superstore s04e04_Eng

- I'm sorry, the company
doesn't consider

pregnancy a disability.

- No, I'm not asking
for disability.

I just need
to reduce my hours

because my doctor says
I have to stay off my feet.

- Yeah, her feet
are really swollen.

You know when you open a can
of Pillsbury crescent rolls

and the dough just
kind of bursts through?

Well, it's like that
only with feet and toes.

- I can try getting you in

with a company-approved
doctor.

Have you been experiencing
any bleeding, spotting,

or vaginal discharge?

- Okay, I am just
gonna do some paperwork.

- Um, yes, there has been
some discharge--

- ♪ Oh, this is the way
we stape the pape ♪

♪ Stape the pape,
stape the pape ♪

- But nothing
to write home about.

- Alright, I can get you in

for an appointment
as soon as...

December 15th.

- December 15th?
That's like six weeks away.

I will already
have my baby by then.

- Oh, next time call us
farther in advance.

Is there anything else
I can help you with today?

- Well, actually, while we
have you on the line--

Ah, here, do some paperwork.

I accidentally swallowed a
watermelon seed the other day.

[upbeat music]

♪

And corporate sent us

some sort of newfangled
automatic cart collector.

They say it's part of a...

[Romanian accent]
pilot program.

- I'm sorry,
what are you supposed to be?

- The back of a horse.

Jerry was supposed
to be the front,

but he's in Fort Lauderdale
with Carol.

- Oh.

- Hey, you two,
you can flirt on your own time.

Next order of business,
we're going to be holding

an employee costume
competition today.

- Oh, in honor of Halloween?

- Yep, yep.
Because of Halloween.

Um, so at the end of the day
we'll all vote

who wore it best,
and the winner gets...

[imitates trumpeting]

A fully paid vacation day.

- What?
- Ohh.

- I want that.
- Yeah.

- There's a day off?

Wait, why didn't you tell us
there was a day off?

I would have dressed up.

- That's not a costume?

I thought you were
a dirty pile of laundry.

- I'm sorry I was too
exhausted to get dressed.

My feet are so swollen
I can barely stand.

- I'm more pregnant
than you and I'm doing great.

Yeah, my hair is silkier,
my skin's glowing,

I just grew a new tooth.

I'm doing very well.

- ♪ I always feel like

♪ Somebody's watching me

♪ And I have no privacy

- I really wanna
win this contest.

People are gonna know
I'm Super Mario, right?

Not just some fat plumber.
- I think people will get it.

And you should
keep that mustache.

It really works for you.

- Oh, yeah, I was thinking
of growing one.

- You should, you should.
It brings out your eyes.

- Yeah, thank you.

- Do you think
they're gonna know what I am?

- Oh yeah.
So great, so smart.

- You know what it is, right?

- Yeah, totally.

I'm "Gerry Mander."

These are all
gerrymander districts.

- Yeah, no. I know that.
Totally.

It's very intelligent.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Woo!
This follows you anywhere?

- As long
as you're holding the fob.

- Okay, this is crazy.

How do we have this but, like,

have still never
been to the sun.

- Hey, if you swallow the fob,
will the collector

just follow you
until you poop it out?

- That is
such a good question.

I'll reach out
to the manufacturer.

- Yeah.
- Dina!

What do I do?
Should I jump the railing?

- No, no, stay there.

This will be
a teachable moment.

- [screaming]
No!

- Happy Halloween.

Check out our great deals
on batteries if you dare.

- I'll give you a hint,
it's slightly political.

- Gay Spiderman.

- Wait.
- ♪ Halloween surfboard

- This is like the fifth time
they've played this song today.

I hate how they
just keep looping

the same Halloween music
over and over again.

- At this point I've learned
how to just block out

the most annoying stuff
around here.

- You're like one of those
monks in Tibet.

You know, they practice
this meditation technique

called Tummo.

Garret, are you--

Oh I get it.
'Cause I'm annoying.

Yeah, all right.

You made your point.

Yeah, well, you know what?
You're annoying, so...

I'm gonna ignore you.

Doesn't feel so good, does it?

- Toro, toro.

[both cheering]

- Yeah!

- What are you doing?

- Playing matador.

- This thing is so cool.
You wanna see how it works?

- No, I don't want
to see how it works.

While you guys
have been out here playing

with this fart collector,
you know,

the costume aisle
has turned into a war zone.

Can you please go back inside?

- But I haven't
had a turn yet at the...

It's okay.
I'll just come early tomorrow.

- Please skedaddle.

- Oh, you changed costumes.

- So did you.

Well, I guess we both need
that vacation day, huh?

- Yeah, well, my feet are
giant balloons full of blood

and I have a little monster
inside of me.

- I wanna see that new
Johnny English movie.

- Man, Cheyenne
really stepped it up.

- Oh, mahalo.
- She changed too?

- It's so sad.

She probably thinks that
looking sexy

is going to help her win
the contest or something.

- Well that's
not gonna work, right?

- Are you kidding me?

I think everybody else
can kiss that day off "aloha."

The goodbye meaning.

Cheyenne can kiss it "aloha,"
hello meaning.

[chuckles]
What a kooky language.

.

- Aloha, girl.
That costume is amazing.

- Awh, thanks.

- The coconuts and the grass

and the belly button
that I can see.

- I'm literally
obsessed with you.

You're literally in danger.

- I was wondering though,
do you think that maybe

this costume might
be objectifying women?

- Huh.
You know, I can see that.

Like, do you really
want men gawking at you

like you're
some piece of meat?

- Yeah.
- Kinda.

- Okay.

- And I was also thinking

that maybe this costume
is offensive

to, um, Hawaiian people.

Like Sandra.
She's Hawaiian.

- Oh, good call.

- Don't worry, Sandra saw it
and she didn't say anything.

- It's also just wasteful

'cause that's not
what coconuts...

- Yeah.

- People are starving
around the world and...

- Well, someone
ate the coconut.

I just put it
on my boob.

- Who ate the coconut?

- I don't know, someone at
a Thai restaurant or something.

- ♪ Halloween surfboard

- Hey man, why did
you have to point out

this stupid Halloween song?

Now I can't tune it out.
It doesn't even make sense.

"Dracula was putting
on moon tan lotion."

Why is a Dracula
at the beach?

- Yeah, it's not a good song.

I'm just glad I'm not the only
one noticing it anymore.

- Okay, well next time,
keep it to yourself.

Not everybody needs to notice
the same stuff.

- Why don't you just try
thinking of a different song?

You know, like, um,

you know...

[arrhythmic humming]

God, what are some songs?

- There she is.

I thought someone might have
turned you into glue by now.

- Why?

- 'Cause you're a horse.

You know how they kill horses

and turn their bones
and hooves into glue?

- They do?

- Nope, just being a goof.

Hey, did you see Cheyenne's
hula costume?

- Yeah.

- That's not offensive to you
or anything, is it?

- Why would it be offensive?

- Oh, no, just that, you know,
some people might call it

cultural appropriation.

Just because reducing
your entire heritage

to some cartoony stereotype

might be disrespectful
or something.

- She's just having fun.

- OMG. How cute is Cheyenne's
hula outfit?

Hawaiians are like "Laki-maki
laki-maki laki-maki."

- Actually, hula is a sacred--

- It's adorable.

Oh, you guys,
you're just such a cute,

funny little people.

- Thanks.

- Oh.
Oh, yeah.

Oh! Ohh.

Jonah! Jonah.
Come here. Come here.

Look. Okay, look.

You're not going to believe
this but just watch.

- So fast.
Good job, buddy.

- No, no, before...

- Now, I want it to be spicy
but not too spicy,

like a step past ketchup
but not quite to mustard.

- ♪ Halloween surfboard

- Now I've had a "quesadillo"

and I've had a "chimi-chang-a,"
and I like them,

but Gary, now, he likes
a cream tuna on noodles.

I always say to him,
"live a little, Gary."

- God, I can't take it!

- Oh, sorry.

Excuse me,
I'm looking for a "salza."

- What the hell was that?

- This same song keeps
playing over and over again,

and it's starting
to drive me crazy.

- Oh, I like hearing
the same song.

You always know what you're
getting, no surprises.

My workout mix is just
12 tracks of Billy Joel's

"For the Longest Time."

Well, that's on leg days.

On arm days it's "Scenes
From an Italian Restaurant."

- She can't even be
in the contest now.

I feel bad.

- Well, you had
to say something.

It was obviously
bothering you.

- Yeah, I love Cheyenne but
she needed to be called out.

- Maybe I'm being
too sensitive.

I mean,
Janet's half-Jamaican,

and she's okay
with Marcus' Rasta cap.

- Yeah, I don't love it, but
I figured it's just a costume.

- Just a costume?

- Your culture
is not some costume

that Marcus
can wear for laughs.

- Janet.

It doesn't end until
we make it end.

- Yeah.

- We are the ones that
we've been waiting for.

- You know what?
You're right.

[bleep] that guy.
Hey, Marcus!

- You'll find the sexy nurse
costumes in aisle nine

between the sexy Minions
and the sexy sandwiches.

- Hey, Glenn, I think you left
that in the parking lot.

- Thank you.

Good thing I'm not
a real mailman.

Leaving the mail
in the parking lot?

I would have been
fired for sure.

- Ah, I think they would
have let it slide

since it's your first day.

- Jonah, no offense,
but you know

absolutely nothing about
the U.S. Postal Service.

["Tubular Bells" plays]

♪

.

- Hey, Sayid, I just
wanted to check in and see

how you're feeling about
Chris' Aladdin costume.

How ya holding up
with the racism?

- I mean, it just seems
to me like her costume

is a slap in the face
to your Latino culture.

- Sayid should know better.

I'm sure as a person
of German heritage

this is very offensive.

- Well, I'm not German.
I'm French-Canadian.

- Well, did you see Teddy is
dressed as a hockey player?

- Can you believe
that banjo he's carrying?

As if all southerners are just
toothless backwater rednecks.

- I think he's supposed
to be Steve Martin.

- [southern accent]
"I think he's supposed

to be Steve Martin."

That's what you sound like.

- Okay, the problem
is the same song

keeps playing
every ten minutes.

Same song, all day long.

- Well, I doubt any customers
are sticking around all day.

- Yeah, but I am.
I'm here all day long.

All day long, same song.

It's starting to become
a little much.

- Oh, if this is about
employee satisfaction,

I can transfer you over to--

- No, do not transfer me.

I have been transferred
to six different departments

in four different countries.

I don't understand why it takes
an international coalition

to control a playlist.

Which is something
that I have been doing

for ten years
with no problems.

Nobody got hurt, then all of
a sudden you guys takeover

and it's "Halloween Surfboard."

"Halloween Surfboard."
It's just stupid!

- Please hold.

- ♪ You want
the Halloween surfboard ♪

- The expiration date
said July 2023,

and I was like,
"I might expire by then."

[eerie music]

That's what's so great about,
you know, canned goods,

'cause, you know,
they're in cans.

Stop.

Okay, keep--keep walking.

- Again, I'm just looking
for water chestnuts.

You can just tell me
what aisle they're in.

- Not right now!

♪

- Now, do we think that
Freddy is just a pirate

or is he a Somali pirate?

Because that
would be messed up.

- You are a real hero,
you know that?

You're like a voice
for the voiceless.

- Hey, we have a problem.

You need to take
that costume off.

- What? Why?

- We've had a complaint
about this whole

Italian minstrel show
you've got going on.

- No, I'm no--I'm Mario.

You know.
It's a me, Mario!

My brother is a' Luigi!

- Hey, you need to stop
right now.

- Why?
I mean, who would even--

I can't believe you complained
about my costume

just to win the contest.

- It had nothing to do
with the contest.

I was legitimately offended.

- Oh, please.
Marcus, you're Italian.

Mario's okay, right?

- I've actually thought
a lot about this.

I mean, for me personally,
"Super Mario Brothers"

is a classic.
"Mario Kart," also solid.

But "Mario Party?"
It's like, what happened?

- See?
Marcus is fine with it.

- Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah, I guess we can all
start telling racist jokes

as long as one person
from that race signs off.

- Is that true?

My Jewish bird joke is so good,

and I think you'll feel like
we're laughing with you.

- Still no.

- Ugh, it's so good.

- All Amy is saying
is people need to stop

looking for
a reason to be offended.

- Exactly.

- I mean, you can't
even sing NWA anymore

without being asked
to leave a cookout.

- That is...

not what I was saying.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪

- I don't understand why Amy's
allowed to wear a mustache

but I can't wear my dreadlocks.

- And I can't wear a grass
skirt and coconut boobs.

- Let her wear the coconut
boobs, you monsters.

- It's because those costumes
objectify a whole culture.

I am not dressed
as an Italian.

I am dressed as a character
who happens to be Italian.

- So I'm not allowed to
dress up as a Jamaican,

but if I'm dressing up
as Bob Marley,

who happens to be Jamaican,

[as Bob Marley] Then
everything be irie, mon.

- No.
- What's the difference?

- It's just--it's different.

- Jonah, I feel like you can
explain this better.

- Well, I know it's different,

I'm just having trouble
putting into words why, uh...

Janet, could you
explain it to them?

- Why me?

- No reason,
just, you know stuff.

- It's no different.

If we let Amy
wear that costume,

then we might as well let
Marcus wear blackface.

- That's offense.
- That would be awesome.

- No, it is not
the same thing.

- Wait, hold on, wait.

Why can't I paint my face
to look like Bob Marley

but Elias can paint his
to look like a Smurf.

- You can't just--there's
a whole history--

Janet?
- Yeah?

- Nothing,
I'm just checking in.

How you doing?
Are you good?

- Okay, you know what?

This is getting
too complicated.

Let's just cancel the contest.

- What?
- No!

- It's not worth
upsetting everybody

over one day off work.

- We can't just live our lives
afraid to offend someone.

I think that we,
you know, as a society,

we need to just
lighten up a little bit.

- Yeah, I mean really,
if I think about it

Mario is a hardworking plumber
that rescues princesses.

If anything, that costume
honors Italians.

- Yes.
- So I can wear

my hula outfit
if I'm honoring Hawaiians.

- Yea--I mean I guess
if you feel like

it's about honoring the culture
and not just to look sexy.

- Yup,
I'm honoring the culture.

- And I can wear my Rasta hat

if it's about
honoring Jamaicans.

- Well, I mean,
I guess if we're saying

that it's all or nothing,

then I can't really think
of a reason to say no.

- [Jamaican accent]
Bumbaclot!

- Okay then,
contest back on.

- Yes.
- Great.

- Have you been wearing that
under your shirt all day?

- Yeah,
I don't know how you do it.

.

- Hello, St. Louis!

Welcome to Cloud 9 store 1217's
2018 Halloween

official employee costume
competition royale.

[cheers and applause]
- Yeah!

- All right.

Let's meet our first
contestant, Marcus White!

- ♪ He did the Mash

♪ He did the Monster Mash

- [as Bob Marley]
One love! Everything irie.

[normal voice] But I'll tell
you what isn't Irie.

Nearly 700,000 Africans
brought to Jamaica as slaves.

The Rastafari movement isn't
about ganja and bobsleds.

It's about resisting the
tyranny of white oppressors.

Perhaps just like you.

Thanks, and happy Halloween.

- ♪ He did the Mash

♪ He did the Monster Mash

♪ The Monster Mash

- Oh, good.
I thought you were--

What's this?

- I gotta cover up
the ceiling speakers.

The key is to get sweaters
thick enough

to block out the sound.
The tighter the knit,

the less "Halloween Surfboard"
gets through.

- Yeah, okay, good.
Hey, listen.

You know technology, right?

Like you're plugged in,
so, um,

where are we on the timeline
of robots having feelings,

like, you know,
anger or vengeance?

I mean, [stammers]
is that happening yet?

- Yeah, I don't know, maybe.
You know, could be.

- Oh. Good.
Good to know.

- [Mario tube sound effect]

[as Mario]
One up!

It's a me, a Mario!

I eatsa the pasta.

[normal voice] But Italians
are so much more

than just spaghetti
and meatballs.

- From the beginning of time,
white women have honored us

with their contributions
to science and the arts.

- A bell rang out through
the city of Dolores.

Gong! Gong!

- Known as the land
beyond the forest,

Transylvania is rich
in natural splendor

and mineral resources.

- Eleanor Roosevelt.
Joy Behar.

Marie Curie.
Madonna.

- Brainy Smurf's special
talent is his brain.

- There is the Sistine Chapel,
penne arrabbiata.

- You pour the vinegar in...
[gasps]

And the lava comes out.

[traditional
Middle Eastern music]

Viva Morelos!
Viva Allende!

Viva Josefa Ortiz
de Dominguez!

- Jokey Smurf, he tells jokes.

He's funny.
He's the funny one.

- Gerrymandering may present

the most grave threat
to our democracy.

[traditional
Middle Eastern music]

- The Venice canals and,
uh, mozzarella sticks.

- If you look back

to the midterm election
results of 2006--

- Shoot your web.

- Oh, no, I'm not Spider-Man.

- Shoot it anyway.

Thwip.

- Nice.
[applause]

- ♪ Halloween surfboard

- Attention Cloud 9 shoppers,
I do not have an announcement,

but as long as I am talking
I am not listening,

so just gotta keep talking.

Uh, save 30% off roach gel.

Stop roaches in their tracks.

Except you can never really
stop them, can you?

They'll just keep coming
and coming,

invading your mind
in an endless loop.

[imitating child]
Are we there yet, Daddy?

[As Dad] Sorry, son, the hell
ride, it lasts forever.

It's buy one,
get one free on peas.

- ♪ Love is kinda crazy

♪ With a spooky
little girl like you ♪

- I just want you to know
that I actually

really do
like your costume.

- Thanks.
I like yours, too.

Do you wanna hold hands
like in Miss America?

- Not really.

- I actually
don't like your costume.

- And the winner of one day
off work with pay

and this small bowling trophy
because it's all we had...

Amy Sosa!

- Yes!

Yes!

In! Yo! Face!
In yo face!

Yes,

I would like
to accept this award

on behalf
of the Italian people.

- ♪ Ah-ooooh

♪ Werewolves of London

♪ Ah-ooooh

- Jerusha, I want you to go
pack a go-bag,

and go outside,
wait by the mailbox,

and when you see my car,
get a running start

and then jump
through the window, okay?

Because I am not
going to be able to stop.

Oh, and see if
any of our neighbors

have a shotgun
you can borrow.

I'll see you soon.

- So how much did I win by?

Was it, like, a landslide?
You can tell me.

- Oh, it was a total landslide,
for Cheyenne.

- What?

- I mean, her boob
accidentally popped out.

You can't compete with that.

- Wait, did you cheat for me?

- Mm-hmm.

- Nice.

- It's kinda fitting,
don't you think,

that I actually ended
up suppressing votes?

[chuckles]

'Cause it, uh,
'cause I'm Gerry Mander.

- Mm-hmm.
- You get it.