All language subtitles for State.of.the.Union.S01E02.Antique.Globes.WEBip.x264-ION10

- What have I missed?
- She stormed out.

Oh, my God.

Look at him.
He's like a footballer.

She just
full-on walloped him.

Yes, but only up here,
on the forehead.

She'd have to be Mike Tyson
to do him any proper damage.

- What?
- I would have thought

that you were anti
domestic violence of any kind.

I didn't say I was pro it,
I said he was making a fuss.

So, if you were to thump me
like that, how should I react?

You can say, "Ow",
and express disappointment

but you can't roll around
as if you've broken your skull.

I note that you didn't say
you'd never thump me like that.

I know you.
You'd push the hypothetical.

You'd say, "Yeah,
but what if you did thump me?"

- That's what you do.
- Well, of course,

but that doesn't mean you can
cut out the preliminary bit.

That went without saying.

I've never thumped you yet
and I never would.

- Ditto.
- Well, there we are, then.

Something to take in there
and build on.

How are you feeling
about this week?

Well, pretty sure I'll be there
from the beginning.

As opposed to 15 minutes

- from the end.
- It took a lot of balls

to turn up last week

and the later it got,
the more balls it took.

So, if you're there
from the start this week

- that'll show...
- Even bigger balls

than turning up 15 minutes
from the end.

So there's basically
nothing you can do

that isn't an extreme act
of heroism on your part.

That's more or less it.

It's a wonder you can even walk
you're so ballsy.

It must be like having
two antique globes down there.

That was a bit sarcastic.

- Sarcasm's not allowed anymore?
- Not given the circumstances.

I can't remember the last time
we didn't speak sarcastically

to each other.

Last week in here
when you apologized and so on.

And I rather liked it.

So I'm not allowed to make jokes
about your giant balls?

You were being sarcastic
about me not having giant balls.

If I had giant balls

and you were making jokes
about those, then fine.

But you weren't. You were
suggesting quite the opposite.

And I'm not allowed to

because I'm the one who's
responsible for us being here?

- Exactly.
- Gotcha.

Would you like me to tell you
you have giant balls?

I mean, is that
where this is coming from?

No.

I mean who wants giant balls?

That's not something
you're interested in, is it?

God, no.

- I wonder if anyone is?
- There's probably a website.

There is for most things.

So, what's the agenda?
Not Lucy again.

We got to the end of Lucy.

I can't believe
you even started with her.

I was giving some context.

I understand the relevance
of Lucy's party.

I just don't know why you got
into a 20-minute conversation

about Lucy.

She wanted to know
why you hadn't come with me

on the night that...

I, you know, met Matthew.

Because I don't like Lucy.

- Yes, but why don't you?
- Boring.

The woman who's trekked
through the Andes on her own?

Yes, the very same.

Never again do I want
to meet anyone

who has trekked
through the Andes on their own.

They never shut up about it.

Put some photos on Instagram
if you must.

And then move on, woman.
It's over.

Whereas someone
who saw the Turds in 1989

is the most fascinating
person who's ever lived?

You see, that's the great thing
about music.

There isn't much to say
other than,

"I saw the Turds in 1989".

That's it, end of.

Then you talk about someone else
you saw back in the day.

Kenyon was wondering
whether you might...

Will you stop rolling your eyes?
Her name is Kenyon.

There's no point
disapproving of it.

I'm not disapproving of it.
I just don't believe it.

Her surname may well be Kenyon

but I can't see
that it is her first name.

She said it was.
Kenyon Long.

- That's two surnames.
- One of them's her first name.

I don't think so.

You think our marital counselor
is lying to us about her name?

I mean, who is called Kenyon?
Really?

She is. I can't see
what advantage she's seeking

by making it up.

Maybe
it's her counseling identity.

Mild-mannered Julie
by day,

nosy, judgmental Kenyon
by night.

Is there anything you want
to talk about this week?

- Not really, no.
- So let's move on to Matthew.

I'd rather not.

It's just that last week
you seemed of the opinion

that there was no lead-up.

I had an affair and we decided
to have counseling.

Last week was last week.

Counseling is
an ongoing process.

You learn things about yourself
and the other person

that you never saw before.

You've only done 15 minutes.

All the more reason
to not just leap in.

- So no Matthew?
- I think that's best.

In which case...

What?

He's crying.
Don't look. He'll see.

Where's she?

Buying him a drink.

OK, from now on all I want
is a running commentary.

We can't talk
about our session?

God, no.

- She's giving him his drink.
- Brandy?

Nope, just beer.

She's not saying
anything.

She's just sitting there
while he weeps.

- Oh, she's awful.
- It might be him.

Supposing he's murdered
one of their kids with an axe

and the full horror of it
has only just dawned on him?

And she punched him
because of the murdering

or because
of the dawning?

You know what I mean.
Something like that

that would require counseling.

- The marital equivalent.
- An affair maybe?

An affair is not
the marital equivalent

of murdering your child.

Well, you would say that.

Can we forget about them
and get back to us?

I'm reluctant.
They make us look good.

We've got less
than five minutes.

We haven't even agreed
on where to begin.

We can't talk about Matthew

because that's not
the root cause.

Not this week anyway.

Shall we talk about why
we stopped making love?

Oh, Christ, no.

So we've got to go
further back than that?

- How far back?
- We've got loads.

My work.

Your work.
Dylan's difficult spell.

Your mum dying.
Bloody hell.

I mean, if you think about it,
it's like Brexit.

We could have two years of talks

before we even agree
what the issues are.

Brexit is about divorce, though.

That's a negative way
of looking at it.

What's happening behind me?

She's talking to him.

Does she seem angry?

No.

Well, there goes
your child-murdering theory.

Why?

At least,
he didn't do the murdering.

If she's not shouting at him
over and over again,

"You murdered my child,"
then...

No, no.
She's had an affair.

So why did she punch him?

- I don't know.

It's as if
we hardly know them.

- Can we go back to Brexit?
- If we must.

It is a divorce, though.
I'm not being negative.

Are you saying
that's where we're headed?

And will you stand up?

- No, of course not.
- I'm just checking

that's the last thing
on your mind.

- Honestly?
- Honestly.

I mean,
I don't know how it can be,

not when we're heading
into Kenyon.

Is it the last thing
on your mind?

Yes.

That's ridiculous.

It's one of the ways
that this might play out.

A lot of people think
there are opportunities

at times of great change.

So you're saying you might
be better off on your own?

What? No, no.
I was talking about the country.

So what are the opportunities
for great change

that you're talking about?

We won't get bogged down
in all that red tape.

We can make
our own trade deals.

I'm completely lost now.

I don't want to talk
about the country anymore.

I'm trying to understand
why a marital Brexit

might be
a great opportunity for you.

Who are you going
to do trade deals with?

- OK. I'm not...
- As far as I know,

you weren't seeing
any Italian or German women.

And I can't see you
having any luck

with the Chinese
or the Americans.

This is all rubbish.

I'm just saying it doesn't need
to be the great catastrophe

that the Guardian thinks it is.

You voted for Brexit,
didn't you?

Well, what if I did?

You can't vote in the UK.

- I registered.
- You registered?

You registered so you could vote
for bleeding bastard Brexit?

Do not touch that doorbell.

You voted for Brexit despite
every conversation we've had?

And it took giant balls,
let me tell you.

When everybody I knew
was going on

about what a disaster
it was gonna be.

And that's why you did it?
Because everyone else you know

- was doing something different?
- Well...

that was part
of the appeal, yes.

I also have some
complicated but defensible

socioeconomic theories.

Defend one of them.

I mostly wanted
to annoy your friends.

Well, you'll do that.

They'll never speak
to you again.

Hold on. It's not something
that should be gossiped about.

It's personal.

So how will you annoy my friends
if I don't tell them?

I was annoying them
in the moment with my vote.

I don't wanna rub
their faces in it.

The country needs
to move on, to heal.

You go and work in a care home
for the minimum wage.

You replace all the eastern
Europeans we've lost.

I'm prepared to do my bit.

I'd be useless if it was
to do with death or sickness.

Or lavatories.

But anything else.

Why didn't you just ask me?

Right,

we're talking about Brexit
for the entire 50 minutes.

Fine.

How did Matthew vote?

How do you think?